How the Eds Meet
Chapter 3

"Come one, come all, and read Evil Tim comics," said Eddy. "Man, Lumpy, making fake comics and selling them to the kids was pure genious, even from you."

"Tell me a story, Eddy," said Ed. "Hey look, Eddy, its a motorboat!"

"That's a moving van, chowder head," said Eddy.

"Oh."

They watched it park into the driveway of a blue house. Shortly afterwards, they saw a fancy blue car pull in after it. When it was parked , first came out a man. He was very tall and had slick black hair. Next, came a woman. She was dressed in old blue jeans and a T-shirt, and was very slender. Eddy at once knew he liked her, with that blonde hair. In his opinion, he looked like one of those women who would always get captured by a monster or a vampire, like in one of Ed's movies. That's what he thought Ed was thinking too, because he was drooling. Either that or something about bacon.

Last to come out of the car was a boy about their age. He too, was tall and thin, and wore a courious looking socklike hat on his head. They watched the little family go into the house.

"Did you see that, Ed? Someone new's moving into the cul-da-sac!" said Eddy.

"Do you think they will like comic books?"

"Hey, good idea, burrhead. Second in one day, you're starting to scare me, Ed."

So the two got their comics ready and walked towards the house. When the had rung the doorbell several times, they heard some noise from inside, and then, the woman opened the door.

"Um, hello," said Eddy, nervously.

"Oh, hello. Pleased to meet you. What is your name, young man?" she asked.

"Well, uh, my name's Eddy, and this here's Ed."

"North to Alaska," proclaimed Ed.

"Sorry, he has brain problems. So could we see your son or nephew and cousin or what?"

"Oh, you mean Edward? He's upstairs with his father now. Wait here while I get him."

"Soon afterward, she came down with the strange boy, who when he got down there, just stared at them.

"I'll leave you boys alone." She then closed the door, leaving the three outside.

"So, your name's Edward too? My name's Eddy, and this is Ed," said Eddy.

"Um, yes. My friends would usually called to me as Edd, or Double D as my best friend reffered to me as," mumbled the boy.

"Ok then, Double D it is. You don't mind if we call you that, do you?" asked Eddy.

"Certainly," answered Double D, opening up a little more to the two.

"So, Double D, where you from?"

"Your grammar's horrible, Eddy."

"Oh, so we have a smart-aleck here."

"I was never trying to do so, Eddy."

"And what's with that hat? It's about a hundred degrees out today. Why don't you just take it off?" asked Eddy, reaching to take it off.

"It was given to me by a close friend and I would greatly appriciate it if it remained on my head, Eddy," said Double D, holding down the sock and running back into his house.

"Man, nice going, Ed. That could have been our smart guy. I was actually having a conversation with someone my age that didn't involve buttered toast or gravy.

"But Eddy, I-"

"Shut up, Ed."

Double D watched the activity going on in the cul-da-sac. He had never seen so many kids playing at one time, besides recess and at the park. The neighborhood he had lived in before consisted of older adults.

Kevin was riding around in circles on his new two wheeler, Sara and Nazz were playing dolls, and Jimmy and Jonny were over at Rolf's house, probably discussing their new Urban Ranger idea.

Last, he noticed the two boys he had met earlier walking towards the forest.

'Now what could they be up to,' thought Double D. Although unlike him, he went outside to spy on them. After all, he wanted to learn as much as he could about these new boys and girls.

Double D walked toward the forest after the two, fortunately not being seen.

"Come on, Ed, I'm so-o terrified," exaggerated Eddy.

"Ok, I'll draw a monster next," suggested Ed.

"Fine, but no more smiling faces. This is supposed to be a haunted forest, not Candyland," said Eddy, turning around too fast for Double D to hide.

"What do you think your doing spying on us?" asked Eddy.

"You know, Eddy, some smiles can be quite creepy," stated Double D, ignoring what Eddy had said.

"Oh yeah right, like you know anything about monsters," Eddy challenged.

"Ed, do you watch monster movies?" asked Double D, ignoring Eddy once again.

"You bet! Hey, did you catch 'Attack of the Dairy Products III; The Yogurt Chronicles' last night?" asked Ed.

"No, I didn't. Now Ed, do you know when the monsters are about to attack, they have an evil grin on their faces?"

Ed nodded."Well, draw one like that."

"It will be my plasterpeice," Ed said, as he drew his monster. When he was done, it looked quite frightening.

"Ed, would you mind if I add a part to it?" asked Double D.

"I don't," said Ed. When Double D added his part, the eyes looked like they followed you.

"Wow, that looks awesome, guys. Hey, Double D, wanna hang with us?" asked Eddy.

"Hang?"

"Spend time with," Eddy explained slowly.

"Certainly, Eddy! Thank you!" said Double D as he hugged Eddy.

"Ok,ok,ok, enough with the love."

"Oh, sorry," said Double D, releasing his hug on Eddy.

3 hours later, the "Eds" stood outside the woods in the park by the swingset and talked. Soon, Sarah and Jimmy showed up.

"Ed, mom says its time for dinner and... who are you?" asked Sarah. Eddy was about to answer when Sarah gasped.

"I know who you are! You're that kid that moved in a couple of days ago. What's your name?" asked Sarah.

"His name's Double D," said Eddy.

"I didn't ask you, bonehead!" said Sarah.

"Um, well, uh yes, m-my name is Edd, but they call me Double D instead," mumbled Double D.

"Hi! My name's Sarah and this is Jimmy."

"Hello," said Jimmy.

"Now Ed, its suppertime, so come on!" said Sarah, as she pulled Ed away by his shirt and Jimmy followed.

"Um, see you guys! A lesson in life I am sure to get," said Ed.

"Who was that, Eddy?" asked Double D.

"Just Ed's bratty little sister and her girlish best friend.

"Listen, I'm hungry, so I'm going home, you want to come?" asked Eddy.

"Perhaps not now, Eddy. Mother and Father need help putting away some of our boxes. Thank you very much for your hospitable offering though," said Double D.

"Whatever, we'll scam the pigeons tomorrow."

After supper, Double D used the phone to call Rebecca. There was so much he had to tell her. He dialed her number and waited for her to pick up.

"Hello,"said Rebecca.

"Hello, Rebecca,"said Double D.

"Um, who is this?"

"Honestly, its me, Double D.

Rebecca gasped. "Dude, no way! How are you? Did you meet anyone new? Tell me, tell me, tell me!"

Double D laughed. "Calm down, Rebecca. Look, I'm fine."

"Do you have any new friends yet?"

"Actually, I have met two boys my age, Ed and Eddy. I don't know if I'd call them 'friends' yet, but they do seem rather nice."

"What are they like?"

"Ed, I must admit is a bit, um, slow, and Eddy is a bit egotistical, they are very nice," Double D repeated.

"Have you told them your little, um, secret yet?"

"My secret?"

"Your hat."

"Um, well... no, not really, exactly. I mean, Eddy did ask why I was wearing a hat in 100 degree weather, but I wouldn't give an answer."

"Are you going to tell them?"

"I-I don't know, I want them to like me, I want to be their friend."

"Double D, they wouldn't be hanging out with you if they didn't like you."

"Well-"

"Look, why don't you tell them tomorrow?"

"But I-"

"What could happen. I mean, I've seen what your hiding, and I don't think any lesser of you."

"You... you don't?"

"No."

"Well, if thats the case, if thats true, I'll... I'll try to tell them tomorrow if it would make you happy."

"Alright. Look, I gotta go. My dad's taking us out for Chinese."

"Yeah, well, bye."

"Bye."

Silence fell at the end of the line as Double D hung up.

"How am I going to tell them?" Double D asked himself.

Double D woke up the next mornig at about 8 o'clock and did his chores. When he was done, he waited outside his house for Ed and Eddy to wake up. After half an hour of this, he went to the park, thinking they might be waiting for him there.

"Man, there you are, we've been waiting for you for fifteen minutes. Where were you?" asked Eddy.

"Waiting for you I suppose," Double D mumbled quietly.

"Are you alright, Double D?" asked Ed, concern in his face.

"Well, actually Ed, not really. You see, I was talking to a friend of mine on the phone last night... she said I should tell you about..." Double D turned away from the two and walked over to the jungle gym. The two followed.

"Tell us about what?" said Eddy, annoyed.

"I'm not all that perfect, you see..."

"That's ok, Double D, no one is," said Ed.

"No. That isn't what I meant."

"Then could you tell us what you did mean, cause I want to get on with my life," said Eddy.

"Eddy, Double D is clearly trying to tell us something very personal about himself and would probably not want to be so rudely interrupted," said Ed, wisely.

"Ed?" asked Double D.

"Quack?"

"Fine then," muttered Eddy.

"Thank you, Eddy, it will hopefully make this much easier. Before you knew me, I had an incident in gym class...and its, its, its left...oh, I can't say it!" Double D said, covering his face. Soon he was crying.

"There, there little man, let Ed dry those tears," said Ed as he hugged Double D. Eddy soon walked over and started patting him on the back.

"Look, Double D, we don't have to know, whatever your trying to tell us, but your never gonna feel better about yourself if you have this attitude about it," said Eddy.

"Double D looked up at him still crying,"I was in the hospital for five days, Eddy."

"Listen, how's 'bout we just drop the subject and go to my house and make some pizza?"

Ed suddenly looked up and started running around the jungle gym chanting "pizza" and laughing like an idiot.

Eddy knelt down to Double D's level," So, you want to come?"

Double D wiped his eyes. "So, you don't think I'm a freak?"

"Double D, I would never invite you if I thought you were a 'freak'."

"Oh, who am I kidding, Rebecca was right the whole time."

"Rebecca...is she the one you were on the phone with last night? And the one that gave you that hat.?"

"Yes."

"Is she cute?"

"Eddy, I'm her friend. Do you honestly want me to answer that?"

"Why not?"

At that moment, Ed ran off the side of the jungle gym and fell flat on his face.

"Ed, are you alright?" asked Double D.

"Come on guys, pizza!" exclaimed Ed, as he began runnig off towards Eddy's house.

"Last one there has to play with the twerps!"said Eddy, racing after Ed.

"Hey, no fair! You guys got a head start," said Double D as he followed them.

Eddy walked out of the kitchen, licking his fingers, and Ed and Double D followed.

"Man, that had to be the best pizza I've ever had, nothing like the one Lumpy and I made...You have got to give me the recipe for the sauce," said Eddy.

"Well, gee, thank you," said Double D.

The two sat on Eddy's couch not looking at each other. Double D was still felling a bit awkward and Eddy didn't want to say anything that would hurt him, yet. After he got that recipe... Ed was running around in circles once more. Suddenly, he stopped dead.

"Hey Ed, I rented out this movie a couple of days ago. You wanna watch it?" asked Eddy.

"What is it called, Eddy?" asked Ed.

"Attack of the One Eyed Brainmuncher from Mars... uh, Double D, what's this symbol mean?"

"Eleven. You see, Eddy, this Vstands for ten and the I-" explained Double D.

"Ok, I get it," interrupted Eddy.

"Cool!Can we watch it, Eddy? Oh please?

"Calm down, big guy. Hey, Double D, wanna help me make some popcorn?" asked Eddy.

"Double D stood up. "Certainly, Eddy." He followed Eddy out into the kitchen and left Ed alone.

Ed sat in the middle of the room on the rug, thinking which of the following was better, gravy, or maple surup. He argued back and forth with himself until he was so confused and stopped thinking all together. By this time, Eddy and Double D came back with the movie and two bowls of popcorn. They gave Ed a bowl of his own and shared the other.

"You guys want some soda?" asked Eddy.

"What do you have, Eddy?" asked Ed.

"We have Root Beer, Grape Soda, and one can of Juice Jum."

"I'll have, uh...buttered toast."

"I'll just get you a Grape Soda. Do you want some, Sockhead."

"No thank you, Eddy, sugar gets me too hiper."

"Whatever."

Mostly Ed watched the movie. Eddy told Double D a little about the cul-da-sac, and the kids who lived there.

"Anyway, there's Kevin. He's the kid with the red hair and hat, that always rides his bike around. He thinks he's better than us, but all he is really is a jerk," explained Eddy.

Double D nodded.

"Next, Rolf. He's the weird kid from another country."

"Where?"

"Beats me. Next, Nazz. She's the girl with the long blonde hair that goes down her back. She usually hangs out with Kevin or the twerps."

"Who?"

"Sarah and Jimmy. Sarah's Ed's little sister. She's a spoiled brat, tells on us all the time, and protects little baby Jimmy. Jimmy likes to cook, and play with dolls, and style hair, and go to parties, tea parties that is, and play house. He's in this group called the "Urban Rangers" with Rolf and Jonny. Jonny's the weirdest kid of all. He talks to stuff, particularly a piece of wood called "Plank".

"Is that it?"

"Yeah."

"What about Ed and you?"

"Ed point blank, is an idiot."

"Eddy, that isn't a very nice thing to say about your friend."

"Well, he is."

"I suppose you're perfect then?'

"Defently better looking."

Double D turned away and started laughing.

"Oh yeah, well, what about you then? What was your life like?"

"I was the class geek."

Eddy started smirking. Double D tried really hard to ignore him.

"I'm not very physically fit, so I was an easy target for bullies. I didn't have many friends, apart from kids I met in the school library. They were the only people who called me Edd instead of Edward like all of my teachers and my parents. I did have one good friend, though. Her name was Rebecca. She's the one who gave me the nickname 'Double D', and the one I was on the phone with last night, and the one who gave me my hat." When Double D said this last part, he looked Eddy square in the eye, then turned away and continued. "She's a bit taller than I am, and has long blonde hair, too. I guess, to answer your earlier question, I'll tell you she is attractive. Because I was in the hospital so long, Father lost his job, but found work here, so we moved."

"Do you have any pictures of her?"

"Yes." Double D reached in his pocket and pulled out a photo.

"Is that her?"

Double D nodded.

"She is cute. Hey! Is that you next to her with the blonde hair?" asked Eddy as he started laughing.

Double D turned red. "Yes," he hesitated.

"Is that why you wear that stupid hat? So people don't think your a dumb blone?"

"Not all blondes are 'dumb', Eddy. Anyway, I have other reasons."

"Like what?" Eddy challenged.

"Hush, guys. The mindless zombie brainmunchers are about to slurp Shirley and Allan's brains out of their ears," said Ed. Eddy and Double D were quiet for the rest of the movie. Eddy was daydreaming and Double D eventually fell asleep. A few times, Eddy felt tempted to yank his hat off and actually reached over to do it once, but Ed happened to turn around ("Eddy, what do you think you are doing?" asked Ed. "I was just reaching for the remote, stupid to turn the movie up," Eddy lied, grabbing the remote and making the TV even louder. "Well, ok then," said as he turned around to finish watching the movie). When the movie was done, Eddy got up and rewund it. Next, he woke Double D and they cleaned up the popcorn that they had spilled earlier and threw it away.

"Well, that's the last of it. Hey Ed, lets go to over to your house to make some costumes. We outta find all kinds of scary and gruesome stuff in that disgusting basement of yours," said Eddy.

"It can't be that bad, Eddy..."

The three stood in Ed's basement. Ed gave his stupid grin, while Eddy was looking around for something.

"I stand corrected," Double D grimaced.

"Told ya so. Hey Ed, you got any walkie talkies?"

"Under my bed."

"I ain't goin' under there," said Eddy, glancing hopefully towards Double D.

"Don't look at me...Ed is that bread?" asked Double D.

"Buttered toast," Ed corrected sternly.

"This mask with work perfectly," said Eddy as he pulled a mask off the wall that looked like a tiki head.

"Well, we had better get to work," said Double D.

"Right. Um, Ed, is that a dress?" asked Eddy.

"It's...it's Sarah's!" Ed hesitated.

"Whatever, I don't want to know," replied Eddy.

Eddy ran to the stand outside the woods. Almost all the kids were there, except Sarah and Jimmy. Jonny and Plank went in first, but ran out five minutes later. Kevin, Nazz, and Rolf went in next.

"Amaze me, three haired Ed-boy," said Rolf as he dropped a quarter in the jar. But like Jonny and Plank, well, mostly Jonny, came out screaming.

"I've never seen so much money, Eddy," said Ed in awe.

"Shut up and start counting," said Eddy.

"$1.25, Eddy," replied Double d.

Ed and Eddy stared at him in disbelief, then back at the money. Eddy began to count it.

"Your right," said Eddy, staring once again at the jar. "Then, how many jawbreakers can we get each?"

"As in two?"

"Three."

"Me?"

"Sure, you helped."

Double D began to grin. "Well, five cents divided by $1.25 is 25 divided by three, ("Human calculator," Eddy mumbled to Ed) um Eddy, we have a slight problem."

"What!"

"Three divided by 25 is eight jawbreakers for each of us with one left over."

"Then, who gets the last one?"

"I could always mail it back to Rebecca, if you don't mind."

"Fine, but tell her its from me."

"Eddy..." Double D decided not to continue.

A few days later, Rebecca recieved a box in the mail.

"I wonder what this could be," she thought.

She carried it into her house and went into a secure room, away from all her loud brothers and sisters. When she opened it, she found a cherry flavored jawbreaker inside, and a note:

Dear Rebecca,
Hi! It's me, Double D. I just wanted you to know that I'm
having an excellent time here. Ed and Eddy are wonderful! I
really think we might be close friends, no offense to you,
though. My parents don't want me to call long distance all the
time, only once a month. So instead I'll write you letters. So
has your mom had her new child yet? I bet it will be very cute!
Well, talk to you later! Write back soon!

Sincerely,
Double D

P.S. The jawbreaker is from all of us, especially Eddy!

The Ed