disclaimers: Do not own Yugioh.....yet at any rate... If I did....yummy
shower scenes. Yami Bakura naked the entire time......^_^
Yami B: *Groans* not her hentai mood!
Ak: @_@
THIS IS YAOI!! DONT LIKE, BYE BYE
note: Ryou MIGHT becoming back. Also...this will have a SetoixYami Bakura romance and a past SetoixYami romance...kinda. Later on MAYBE SetoxYami BakuraxRyou
LETTERS TO MY YAMI
April 10, 2061
I've decided to keep a journal, a present from my father. I'm not exactly sure what to write. I've never done this sort of thing before. My name is Ryou Bakura and I'm fourteen. Today is my birthday but you can hardly call it that. Father is in Egypt, on an archaelogical dig. This isn't the first birthday he's missed and definetely not the last. Ever since Mother died, he's been so distant towards me but Mother's death did hit us both hard. I can't believe its been seven years. I've been alone. I dont complain. When your parents are too in love with each other to notice their own child, you get used to the idea of spending eternity lonely. I'm too shy to approach girls and boys intimidate me so, I really dont give myself a chance to have friends. I havent even been kissed yet. Perhaps, its my ill fate.
Bakura, to put it mildly, was shocked. He never thought RYou was ~that~ lonely.
April 11, 2061
My birthday was alright. Father called. He said he would be home tomorrow. How long will he stick around this time? I've been living on my own since I was seven so it doesn't bother me anymore. I can't really blame Father. He does have to do his job. Father says he has bought me a gift. This will be a first. Maybe he's making up for lost times? I doubt that but I can hope. My day was horrible. I got asked out again by Keiko. She wanted me to go the dance tomorrow night. Then...Reno propositioned me again. He won't leave me alone. I'm scared. I think he knows where I live. Reno's this senior who has taken a shine to me. The first time we met, I thought he was nice. I ran into him. He helped me pick up my books, our hands touched. No matter how nice he seemed, I was petrified. I have never had that close of contact with another human being. and it made me uncomfortable. I may be like this because of not enough affection from my parents. Reno started to plan his run ins with me; in the hall, at lunch. He'd find ways to touch me. It was alright then but a couple weeks ago, he started to touch me elsewhere and making me do the same to him. I'm only terrified he'll make me do more or worse; rape me. I dont have any one to go to so...looks like I'm on my own.
Bakura sighed, turning the page. He remembered the confrontation with Reno. Bakura had wrongly accused Ryou of bringing the attention to himself. Reno had paid, of course, for laying his hands on Ryou but Ryou had been punished as well.
April 12, 2061
I'm finally by myself. Yami went into his soul room. Who's Yami? The evil spirit that is in my Sennen Ring; the gift from my father. He's like my twin except taller, broader, his hair is spiky, and his eyes are sharper. When I first saw him...I thought 'wow, he's hot.' Because he is. Its narcissitc but..I can't help what I think Could I be gay? No, I can't be. I dont..I dont know what I like. OH well. Yami's attitude is horrible. He hit me! Twice! And it hurt so much. I thought we could be friends. He said that it was my fault Reno tried to rape me. Thats right. Reno followed me home and wanted to have his way with me. Yami came out of the ring and he punched Reno. I was overjoyed that Reno was knocked out. Then, Yami turned on me and punched me square in the jaw, which still throbs. I really wanted us to be friends but he's like a dictator. He doesnt want me hanging around anybody, something I dont understand.
Bakura traced the Eyptian hieroglyphs on the edge of the paper. The reason he kept Ryou from other people was because bastards like Reno would try to take advantage of his innocence. Bakura sighed. Did he Ryou honestly think he hated him so much?
April 13, 2061
I didnt' go to school today. Yami tried to make me but I curled up and refused to move. He left me alone. I stayed in bed and didn't bother getting up. I hurt all over. Not only physically, but emotionally. I finally woke up around five this evening. I was so afraid to see him and when I did...I had no reason to fear him at that moment. I went into the kitchen and there he was, just getting finished fixing me something to eat. Our eyes met and in that brief instant, I could see the underlying concern for my well being as he put the food on the table. But, as quickly as it came it was gone. He didnt bother looking at me as he left. I was hurt...to say the least. He's so confusing! Does he like me or hate me? I know I like him..maybe more. I'm blushing. I do everytime I think about it. Do I love him? I'm not sure if its that yet. I've only known him for a few days but what I feel inside of me is so deep. Could he be my soulmate? Now I'm talking crazy! He'd never look twice at me. He doesn't like me even as a friend. The signs are mixed. One minute he's punching me, the next hes making me dinner. I dont know but I do know I dont want to go back to school tomorrow. Reno's going to be waiting. I'm even more scared. I even wish Reno had gone through with raping me, then he'd leave me alone. Thats how it always is, someone gets what they want and then dont bother with them-at least in movies. Will Yami come out again tomorrow? I..I hope not. He could get me in serious trouble.
A voice reached Bakura's ears and it seemed he had been too enthralled with reading Ryou's journal to hear. Bakura blinked, eyes focusing. Seto was standing, arms crossed as he shivered in the chill room; the cool April breeze coming through the open windows. Bakura glanced at the billionaire. "Yes?"
".....I came here to see if you were doing alright."
"I'm fine!" Bakura snapped. "I dont need your pity!"
"I'm not pitying you Bakura. I'm just offering my sympathy and.......if you need someone..I'm here."
"I'd go to Yami before you."
"..You truly hate me that much? I hope that with Ryou's death you'd learn some compassion."
Bakura lept to his feet, roughly grabbing Seto by his collar. "Dont you EVER mention that again!!! Do you fucking hear me! NEVER!!" Bakura slammed Seto against the wall. "Just drop it Seto," Bakura, his strength deserting him, collapsed to the floor. "Go," he whispered, fearing that he would break down in front of Seto.
"I'm not leaving you Bakura." Seto knelt beside the heartbroken tomb robber. He drew the white haired yami into a comforting hug, not letting him go. Bakura protested but gave in to the warmth. "Bakura...I'm sorry."
"Why him Seto?" Bakura didnt mind the tears now. It was too late to be proud. "Why Ryou? He never hurt anyone. His entire life was full of so much loneliness and pain."
Seto sighed, resting his head against Bakura's, rubbing the trembling young man's back in small circles. "I can't answer you that Bakura. All I can say is that life does that. Sometimes, it takes those we love the most."
"What would you know about it?"
Seto let out a deep breath. "I lost someone that I valued more importantly than anything. I loved him but...he decided that it would be best if he never saw me again. I was the his high priest and he was the pharoah . Had our tryst been discovered.... He did what he thought was best and in the end..it turned out to be right. The other priests had been onto our affair for some time and was just about to expose us. You see Bakura, fate tore us apart but in the end, it was more than justified in its reasons."
Bakura nodded, rising to his feet. He was dry eyed, all remnants of his crying vanished. "Yami meant that much to you," he stated, watching the myriad waves of emotions on Seto's face. Bakura smiled faintly. "And now he hates you. Ironic."
"....It hurts to know that he does. It doesn't matter though. The past is the past."
"Seto...how did you move on?" Bakura's voice was small and almost child- like.
"..I didn't. I never will. Nobody can replace Yami in my heart and soul."
"You mean..your alone?
"Yes. I dont have anyone."
"......Like me."
Seto opened the door to leave, Bakura behind him. He paused. "...Maybe."
"Maybe? Whats that supposed to me?" Bakura asked as they walked through Seto's corporation. Most of the staff had already retired to home, the others gave no heed to their boss and the yami.
"....We need each other now Bakura and I'm willing if you are."
Bakura bit his lip. What did he say? Could he really do this so shortly after Ryou's death? Bakura ran through his options. There was no way Ryou could come back to life unless he collected all the Sennen Items and the chances of that were slim to none. He thought about all of his cohorts. Yami and Yugi, he was sure he could never break that up. Joey had a relationship with Mai, one that despite their constant arguing would last for years. Honda was dating Tea, Bakura wanted niether of them in the first place. Malik and Marik were inseperable. Mokuba was just too young and Serenity was dating some guy in another city. That left; Seto. Bakura sighed. What would happen to Ryou's memory? Would he forget him? There was no likely of that happening but still..he wasn't comfortable with the thought of being with anyone yet. "Can you give me some time?"
"Take however long you want Bakura. Its not like I'm going anywhere." Seto noticed they were at the intersections of their two streets, one leading to a huge mansion the other to a cozy house. He took Bakura's hand. "You can come and talk to me about anything."
"..We'll see."
Seto nodded. He brushed his lips softly against Bakura's. "Bye." Bakura watched Seto dash towards his house, the cold spring obviously affecting the young man. Bakura tucked the journal more securely underneath his arm. Ryou's insecurities and past was so new to Bakura; even after knowing him for a couple years. Bakura glanced up at the fading sun towards the coming moon. "I hope that you can forgive me Ryou...for all I did. I hope you forgive me for..for considering Seto's proposal." As if in answer, a star twinkled.
* * *
Thanks for reviewing!!! :P
no name (*sobs* I might bring Ryou back if the plot lets it happen. I'm not entirely sure yet!) Raye Yuy (thank you..lol. Everyone is crying!!! jeepers... *cries too* I did cry while writing this. I just lost a best friend in a car crash and he left his journal. thats where this idea came from) invader mya and her yamis (i'm sorry for making you cry!) Shadow Spirit (*hides underneath her turtle shell* I wouldnt dream of ending this! specially with such nice reviews!! Angst is fun...kinda..sorda..not really.. I just cant seem to write anything else!) Wildwolf (how about that?!! lol. now there really is going to be one!! whee! setoxyami b!) Growlygirl (poor Bakura. Hes so sad! Thank you for saying it was great. :P) Spyder (Yikes! I continued! *hides* Dont hurt me!) sixth child (glad you liked it) Sarina (everyone is so sad....XD. It'll get better. promise!) Ginny (awww, i sorry it was so sad) Asian Angel (I agree cliffies should die but. lmao, they make the reader come back!) ChaosEnd (hai, poor Ryou...;_;) firedraygon (dont hate me!! meep! i continued though! :P) rainbowscale (oh, it gets sadder when Reno really does rape poor lil Ryou) Fog (that made you hyper? whoa) Chifufuin girl (I'm sorry! lol, i couldnt kill yami bakura too!) Vampire Huntress D (I feel sorry for him too...*sobs*) paperlilac(i'll make it happy *grumbles*) Chibi Malik (eek! i continued asap *looks the fics piling up that need to be updated*) Shenya (heres more! ahh, no more cry!) Yugilover(eeep! sorry for making you cry. *hides tears* it was too sad!) hotarumaxwell (aye, poor ryou and bakura- kun.) Pigonkey (since you ordered me too I hurried up! XD) DorfsandNab4eva (i made bakura-kun cry! i'm so sorry! but..i'm talented? well, thanks!) Shoyra (i did as soon as i could. i have a ton to update!) Ruby/Luna: (By Ra...i'll bring Ryou back...*sighs*)DragonLupinZero (Its not going to be finished for awhile) Crystal Star (couples are the top of the page. :P I was going to do a YamixYami Bakura but..Seto did love Ryou so I figured they could be a couple! Ryou had cancer)
*blinks a whole bunch* Thats a lot of reviews!! *hope she gets the same number this time* Well, I'm off to update more!
Yami B: *Groans* not her hentai mood!
Ak: @_@
THIS IS YAOI!! DONT LIKE, BYE BYE
note: Ryou MIGHT becoming back. Also...this will have a SetoixYami Bakura romance and a past SetoixYami romance...kinda. Later on MAYBE SetoxYami BakuraxRyou
LETTERS TO MY YAMI
April 10, 2061
I've decided to keep a journal, a present from my father. I'm not exactly sure what to write. I've never done this sort of thing before. My name is Ryou Bakura and I'm fourteen. Today is my birthday but you can hardly call it that. Father is in Egypt, on an archaelogical dig. This isn't the first birthday he's missed and definetely not the last. Ever since Mother died, he's been so distant towards me but Mother's death did hit us both hard. I can't believe its been seven years. I've been alone. I dont complain. When your parents are too in love with each other to notice their own child, you get used to the idea of spending eternity lonely. I'm too shy to approach girls and boys intimidate me so, I really dont give myself a chance to have friends. I havent even been kissed yet. Perhaps, its my ill fate.
Bakura, to put it mildly, was shocked. He never thought RYou was ~that~ lonely.
April 11, 2061
My birthday was alright. Father called. He said he would be home tomorrow. How long will he stick around this time? I've been living on my own since I was seven so it doesn't bother me anymore. I can't really blame Father. He does have to do his job. Father says he has bought me a gift. This will be a first. Maybe he's making up for lost times? I doubt that but I can hope. My day was horrible. I got asked out again by Keiko. She wanted me to go the dance tomorrow night. Then...Reno propositioned me again. He won't leave me alone. I'm scared. I think he knows where I live. Reno's this senior who has taken a shine to me. The first time we met, I thought he was nice. I ran into him. He helped me pick up my books, our hands touched. No matter how nice he seemed, I was petrified. I have never had that close of contact with another human being. and it made me uncomfortable. I may be like this because of not enough affection from my parents. Reno started to plan his run ins with me; in the hall, at lunch. He'd find ways to touch me. It was alright then but a couple weeks ago, he started to touch me elsewhere and making me do the same to him. I'm only terrified he'll make me do more or worse; rape me. I dont have any one to go to so...looks like I'm on my own.
Bakura sighed, turning the page. He remembered the confrontation with Reno. Bakura had wrongly accused Ryou of bringing the attention to himself. Reno had paid, of course, for laying his hands on Ryou but Ryou had been punished as well.
April 12, 2061
I'm finally by myself. Yami went into his soul room. Who's Yami? The evil spirit that is in my Sennen Ring; the gift from my father. He's like my twin except taller, broader, his hair is spiky, and his eyes are sharper. When I first saw him...I thought 'wow, he's hot.' Because he is. Its narcissitc but..I can't help what I think Could I be gay? No, I can't be. I dont..I dont know what I like. OH well. Yami's attitude is horrible. He hit me! Twice! And it hurt so much. I thought we could be friends. He said that it was my fault Reno tried to rape me. Thats right. Reno followed me home and wanted to have his way with me. Yami came out of the ring and he punched Reno. I was overjoyed that Reno was knocked out. Then, Yami turned on me and punched me square in the jaw, which still throbs. I really wanted us to be friends but he's like a dictator. He doesnt want me hanging around anybody, something I dont understand.
Bakura traced the Eyptian hieroglyphs on the edge of the paper. The reason he kept Ryou from other people was because bastards like Reno would try to take advantage of his innocence. Bakura sighed. Did he Ryou honestly think he hated him so much?
April 13, 2061
I didnt' go to school today. Yami tried to make me but I curled up and refused to move. He left me alone. I stayed in bed and didn't bother getting up. I hurt all over. Not only physically, but emotionally. I finally woke up around five this evening. I was so afraid to see him and when I did...I had no reason to fear him at that moment. I went into the kitchen and there he was, just getting finished fixing me something to eat. Our eyes met and in that brief instant, I could see the underlying concern for my well being as he put the food on the table. But, as quickly as it came it was gone. He didnt bother looking at me as he left. I was hurt...to say the least. He's so confusing! Does he like me or hate me? I know I like him..maybe more. I'm blushing. I do everytime I think about it. Do I love him? I'm not sure if its that yet. I've only known him for a few days but what I feel inside of me is so deep. Could he be my soulmate? Now I'm talking crazy! He'd never look twice at me. He doesn't like me even as a friend. The signs are mixed. One minute he's punching me, the next hes making me dinner. I dont know but I do know I dont want to go back to school tomorrow. Reno's going to be waiting. I'm even more scared. I even wish Reno had gone through with raping me, then he'd leave me alone. Thats how it always is, someone gets what they want and then dont bother with them-at least in movies. Will Yami come out again tomorrow? I..I hope not. He could get me in serious trouble.
A voice reached Bakura's ears and it seemed he had been too enthralled with reading Ryou's journal to hear. Bakura blinked, eyes focusing. Seto was standing, arms crossed as he shivered in the chill room; the cool April breeze coming through the open windows. Bakura glanced at the billionaire. "Yes?"
".....I came here to see if you were doing alright."
"I'm fine!" Bakura snapped. "I dont need your pity!"
"I'm not pitying you Bakura. I'm just offering my sympathy and.......if you need someone..I'm here."
"I'd go to Yami before you."
"..You truly hate me that much? I hope that with Ryou's death you'd learn some compassion."
Bakura lept to his feet, roughly grabbing Seto by his collar. "Dont you EVER mention that again!!! Do you fucking hear me! NEVER!!" Bakura slammed Seto against the wall. "Just drop it Seto," Bakura, his strength deserting him, collapsed to the floor. "Go," he whispered, fearing that he would break down in front of Seto.
"I'm not leaving you Bakura." Seto knelt beside the heartbroken tomb robber. He drew the white haired yami into a comforting hug, not letting him go. Bakura protested but gave in to the warmth. "Bakura...I'm sorry."
"Why him Seto?" Bakura didnt mind the tears now. It was too late to be proud. "Why Ryou? He never hurt anyone. His entire life was full of so much loneliness and pain."
Seto sighed, resting his head against Bakura's, rubbing the trembling young man's back in small circles. "I can't answer you that Bakura. All I can say is that life does that. Sometimes, it takes those we love the most."
"What would you know about it?"
Seto let out a deep breath. "I lost someone that I valued more importantly than anything. I loved him but...he decided that it would be best if he never saw me again. I was the his high priest and he was the pharoah . Had our tryst been discovered.... He did what he thought was best and in the end..it turned out to be right. The other priests had been onto our affair for some time and was just about to expose us. You see Bakura, fate tore us apart but in the end, it was more than justified in its reasons."
Bakura nodded, rising to his feet. He was dry eyed, all remnants of his crying vanished. "Yami meant that much to you," he stated, watching the myriad waves of emotions on Seto's face. Bakura smiled faintly. "And now he hates you. Ironic."
"....It hurts to know that he does. It doesn't matter though. The past is the past."
"Seto...how did you move on?" Bakura's voice was small and almost child- like.
"..I didn't. I never will. Nobody can replace Yami in my heart and soul."
"You mean..your alone?
"Yes. I dont have anyone."
"......Like me."
Seto opened the door to leave, Bakura behind him. He paused. "...Maybe."
"Maybe? Whats that supposed to me?" Bakura asked as they walked through Seto's corporation. Most of the staff had already retired to home, the others gave no heed to their boss and the yami.
"....We need each other now Bakura and I'm willing if you are."
Bakura bit his lip. What did he say? Could he really do this so shortly after Ryou's death? Bakura ran through his options. There was no way Ryou could come back to life unless he collected all the Sennen Items and the chances of that were slim to none. He thought about all of his cohorts. Yami and Yugi, he was sure he could never break that up. Joey had a relationship with Mai, one that despite their constant arguing would last for years. Honda was dating Tea, Bakura wanted niether of them in the first place. Malik and Marik were inseperable. Mokuba was just too young and Serenity was dating some guy in another city. That left; Seto. Bakura sighed. What would happen to Ryou's memory? Would he forget him? There was no likely of that happening but still..he wasn't comfortable with the thought of being with anyone yet. "Can you give me some time?"
"Take however long you want Bakura. Its not like I'm going anywhere." Seto noticed they were at the intersections of their two streets, one leading to a huge mansion the other to a cozy house. He took Bakura's hand. "You can come and talk to me about anything."
"..We'll see."
Seto nodded. He brushed his lips softly against Bakura's. "Bye." Bakura watched Seto dash towards his house, the cold spring obviously affecting the young man. Bakura tucked the journal more securely underneath his arm. Ryou's insecurities and past was so new to Bakura; even after knowing him for a couple years. Bakura glanced up at the fading sun towards the coming moon. "I hope that you can forgive me Ryou...for all I did. I hope you forgive me for..for considering Seto's proposal." As if in answer, a star twinkled.
* * *
Thanks for reviewing!!! :P
no name (*sobs* I might bring Ryou back if the plot lets it happen. I'm not entirely sure yet!) Raye Yuy (thank you..lol. Everyone is crying!!! jeepers... *cries too* I did cry while writing this. I just lost a best friend in a car crash and he left his journal. thats where this idea came from) invader mya and her yamis (i'm sorry for making you cry!) Shadow Spirit (*hides underneath her turtle shell* I wouldnt dream of ending this! specially with such nice reviews!! Angst is fun...kinda..sorda..not really.. I just cant seem to write anything else!) Wildwolf (how about that?!! lol. now there really is going to be one!! whee! setoxyami b!) Growlygirl (poor Bakura. Hes so sad! Thank you for saying it was great. :P) Spyder (Yikes! I continued! *hides* Dont hurt me!) sixth child (glad you liked it) Sarina (everyone is so sad....XD. It'll get better. promise!) Ginny (awww, i sorry it was so sad) Asian Angel (I agree cliffies should die but. lmao, they make the reader come back!) ChaosEnd (hai, poor Ryou...;_;) firedraygon (dont hate me!! meep! i continued though! :P) rainbowscale (oh, it gets sadder when Reno really does rape poor lil Ryou) Fog (that made you hyper? whoa) Chifufuin girl (I'm sorry! lol, i couldnt kill yami bakura too!) Vampire Huntress D (I feel sorry for him too...*sobs*) paperlilac(i'll make it happy *grumbles*) Chibi Malik (eek! i continued asap *looks the fics piling up that need to be updated*) Shenya (heres more! ahh, no more cry!) Yugilover(eeep! sorry for making you cry. *hides tears* it was too sad!) hotarumaxwell (aye, poor ryou and bakura- kun.) Pigonkey (since you ordered me too I hurried up! XD) DorfsandNab4eva (i made bakura-kun cry! i'm so sorry! but..i'm talented? well, thanks!) Shoyra (i did as soon as i could. i have a ton to update!) Ruby/Luna: (By Ra...i'll bring Ryou back...*sighs*)DragonLupinZero (Its not going to be finished for awhile) Crystal Star (couples are the top of the page. :P I was going to do a YamixYami Bakura but..Seto did love Ryou so I figured they could be a couple! Ryou had cancer)
*blinks a whole bunch* Thats a lot of reviews!! *hope she gets the same number this time* Well, I'm off to update more!