Total Drama All-Stars Rewritten: Episode 16
RATED TV-14
This episode contains material that may be inappropriate for viewers under the age of 14. Viewer discretion is advised.
Chef's Cook-off
(Recap)
Chris: Last time on Total Drama All-Stars, things took an unexpected turn for the worse for the gang when a certain angry diva had the nerve to kidnap me and lead the others on a high speed chase through the streets of Toronto! Sounds like something out of a movie! Races, rescues and runaways, oh my! Alejandro and Brick were the alpha dogs in the fray, as they were leading the charge to capture Heather and rescue me. In the end, just when Heather was about to escape on a giant cargo plane at the airport, Brick saved me and Alejandro captured Heather, securing a tied victory. And sadly, bad boy Duncan got hurt in a massive car accident and was arrested by the Toronto PD. As for Heather, she has a more serious sentence. Heh heh heh! See ya! Wouldn't wanna be ya! Who will be next to crumble under the pressure this week? Will Gwen carry on without her mohawk donning boyfriend? What tricks could be up Mal's sleeve? Find out right now on…TOTAL! DRAMA! ALL-STARS!
(Theme song)
Dear mom and dad, I'm doing fine
You guys are on my mind
You asked me what I wanted to be, now I think the answer is plain to see
I wanna be famous!
I wanna live close to the sun
Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won
Everything to prove nothing in my way
I'll get there one day
'Cause I wanna be famous!
Na, na, na-na-na-na, na-na-na, na, na-na-na-na
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!
(Whistling)
(the next morning, Alejandro is taking a hot shower in the spa hotel. He is pleased that he won 2 challenges in a row)
Alejandro: (confessional) Such accommodations are perfect to have all to yourself. And the outcome of the encounter last night makes it even better.
(Alejandro steps out of the shower and wraps up in a towel)
Alejandro: (aside) Now that I have triumphed over my love and nemesis once and for all, it is just a matter of time before I reach the top for the second time. Heather, I hope your accommodations are to your liking. (he blows a kiss)
(from prison, Heather sees Alejandro on the TV in her cell. She throws her pillow at the screen, still salty over her defeat)
Heather: (to her cell mate) What? I don't have feelings for him anymore! I don't! Gross! (she still can't help but feel remorse for him)
(meanwhile, Brick and Sky are enjoying a nice 5-star breakfast. Sky stares at Brick with a big dreamy smile)
Sky: This is so nice!
Brick: Indeed it is, battle buddy! (Sky smiles even bigger)
Sky: (confessional/happy) Did you hear that? He called me battle buddy! Yes! YES!
Sky: (to Brick/still smiling) You know? I'm really glad I met another athlete on this show who I can train with and hang out with too.
Brick: Likewise. In season 4, I was teammates with Lightning and Jo, but we didn't exactly click. Lightning was short lived and Jo…not in the slightest.
Sky: Yeah, she seemed pretty mean. But Lightning? I don't mind him. Because I keep beating him! (laughs) He makes me laugh.
Brick: I bet. When you two go full throttle, clear the area! (he and Sky laugh)
Sky: I also remember the times when I would have breakfast with Dave every morning.
Brick: Friend of yours?
Sky: Things didn't really go so well. He was a nice guy, but he was kind of a wimp and he was kinda distracting me from the competition. That and Chris wasn't making it easy for us.
Brick: I'm sorry to hear that. I hope he's doing well.
Sky: Me too.
(At the aftermath studio, Dave is watching)
Dave: (jealous) Oh sure, add insult to injury why don't you! Yeah! Go run off to the big bad buff guy just because he's got muscles! Not like I care! Hmph! (pouts)
(Meanwhile at the cabin, Gwen and Courtney are sitting on the porch together. Gwen is sad that her boyfriend Duncan is gone)
Courtney: (comforting) Aw Gwen. I miss Duncan too. But we have to keep going with the game. That's what he would want.
Gwen: (sad) I know.
Courtney: Come here. (she hugs Gwen tightly and Gwen hugs her back. Then Scott comes out and sits next to the girls)
Scott: Ladies.
Courtney: Hi Scott.
Gwen: Hey Scott.
Scott: You miss Duncan, huh?
Gwen: Yeah.
Scott: You know, it was quite a dive he took in Toronto last night.
Gwen: I'll say. He saved me.
Courtney: I always knew he was a softie. (she and Gwen giggle)
(in the cabin, Lindsay is giving Sammy a makeover)
Lindsay: You're going to look super cute Samey!
Sammy: Uh, it's Sammy.
Lindsay: Oops! Sorry. (she is painting Sammy's fingernails) This nail polish totally matches your lips! They're beautiful!
Sammy: Really?
Lindsay: Yeah! Awww, you look adorable!
Sammy: Aww, thanks.
(Lindsay gives Sammy some blue eye shadow and some foundation)
Lindsay: This eye shadow matches your teal eyes! There! Done!
Sammy: Where's a mirror?
Lindsay: Here you go! (she holds up a hand mirror)
Sammy: (gasps) I love it! Thank you!
Lindsay: EEEEE!
Sammy: (confessional) The last time I had a makeover, it was because Amy drew on my face with a black marker while I was sleeping one time. I didn't realize it until the teacher pointed out to me and I couldn't show my face around school for a long time. But thanks to my new friend Lindsay, I look great! (smug) How do you like me now, Amy?
Mal: (confessional) I barely got a chance to sabotage anyone last night, given the fact that we all had to work as a SWAT team of sorts to rescue the likes of Chris. But now that we're back at our stopping grounds, I can concentrate on destroying everyone else, and getting rid of Mike for good. Now that Zoey is gone, no one can stop me!
(in Mike's subconscious, Mike and his personalities are still walking the vast brain landscape toward Mal's HQ tower)
Vito: I hope we hit the club district soon.
Chester: Nah, you imbecile! If this place has a club district, I'll eat my hat! If I had one!
(they meet Manitoba, who is also chained to a Boulder and sitting in front of a campfire)
Mike: Manitoba! Are we glad to see you!
Manitoba: Can't talk now, mates. Got a big quota to fill.
Mike: What quota?
Manitoba: See those clouds up there? Those are ya dreams. Mal ordered to get rid of them so you can never enjoy them again. (he lassos one with his rope and brings it down. The dream reveals to be Mike and Zoey kissing!)
Mike: Hey! That's my dream about kissing Zoey! In the rain! That was great!
Svetlana: So romantic!
(Manitoba tosses it into the fire)
Mike: WHAT THE HELL?!
Manitoba: Sorry mate. Mal's the head honcho.
Mike: (growls) Once I take back control around here, I'm gonna find Zoey and give her a real kiss! One that Mal could never replicate!
(Manitoba burns another dream)
Mike: OH COME ON! NOT ANOTHER ONE!
Manitoba: Eh, we all gotta go sometime.
Mike: Wouldn't you rather be free?
Manitoba: Yes, but even if we beat Mal, that'll put you back in the driver's seat. So how does that make any of us free?
Vito: Yeah, he got a point. Why should you get all the glory?
Mike: Because I'm the original! The default!
Chester: Do you have any proof?
Mike: Here. (he pulls out his photo ID) Read it and weep. (they gasp!) What? (he gasps! He finds out that Mal is the default personality!) No! NO! NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (his scream echoed everywhere!)
Mal: Happy vanishing, Mike! (laughs evilly)
(Meanwhile on Boney Island, Jasmine is foraging for food)
Jasmine: (confessional) The place was creepy. Like Pahkitew Island, but more eerie. Especially with that skull rock. Looks like something out of a movie.
(Jasmine picks some wild fruit and she cooks them over a campfire)
Jasmine: This'll make a scrumptious breakfast! (she takes a bite of her cooked fruit) Mmm! Crikey! That's good!
(Soon, Chef arrives to pick her up)
Chef: Jasmine! Time to head on back!
Jasmine: Already?
Chef: 'fraid so.
Jasmine: Can I take my fruit kebab?
Chef: Whatever. I don't care.
(Chef escorts Jasmine back to the island)
Chris: (loudspeaker) Good day campers! Are you ready to kick it into high gear? I hope so. Meet me outside the cabins.
(everyone meets Chris and Chef)
Chris: Today's challenge is going to be a little different. It's a nod to the cooking challenges from seasons 1 and 4. Since it's a cooking challenge, Chef will be in charge today. (everyone gasps as Chef snickers evilly) Take it away, Chef!
Chef: You maggots are gonna cook up something tasty and I will be the judge. The winner gets invincibility. And someone will ride the boat of losers home tonight. You have 8 hours to make your dish.
Sky: Question, what kind of food are we supposed to cook?
Chef: Your choice. You got 2 options. 1, use the ingredients from the food truck. 2, use whatever you can find on the island.
Sammy: What food truck?
Chef: That one. (the food truck rises from the lake, with the dolphin driving!)
Jasmine: What the…?
Gwen: It's best not to question the logic of this show.
Jasmine: O-kay then.
Chef: When you're done gathering your ingredients for your weird grub, bring them to the mess hall kitchen so you can get cooking. Ready? GO!
(everyone splits up. Some campers go to the food truck, while others go in different directions around the island)
Geoff: (confessional) Last time we had a cooking challenge, I was head chef. I didn't really do any cooking, I was just making sure everyone was doing their job like they should. But we did a kick ass Italian theme and won! If I can lead my team in a cooking challenge, I can do it on my own! I just wish I was cooking with my girl Bridge.
Scott: (confessional) I love me some good cooking! Back on the farm, my parents and I would plant a garden full of vegetables and we would cook them for dinner. Okay, sometimes my pappy and I would go hunting for little critters who try to eat our plants and churn them up in mama's goat butter, but this is something I can sink my teeth into!
(Geoff grabs some ingredients to make a pizza. Sky grabs a piece of fish. Sammy grabs lettuce, carrots and onions to make a salad. Brick grabs a plate of ribs. Courtney grabs ingredients to make ice cream. Gwen grabs raw chicken.)
Courtney: (confessional) I'm going with ice cream. I know how to make a magnificent sundae! You see, I worked at an ice cream shop for 3 weeks. Unfortunately I got fired for flinging a scoop of raspberry swirl at a customer. But she started it with all her, "Excuse me…excuse me…" I was on my break! Anyway, this is something I can get behind.
(the campers who went to the truck take their ingredients to the kitchen. Jasmine is out foraging for fruit. Alejandro is using a fishing net to catch lobsters. Scott is out in the woods collecting ingredients to make a quiche. Izzy is on the dock fishing for fish. Mal is also gathering ingredients to make a quiche. Lindsay is foraging for fruit. Lightning is feeling clueless on what to cook)
Scott: Last time there was a cook-off, I made a decently good quiche! Okay, I stole it from Cameron and he used toxic mushrooms, but it works for me! Maybe add a little bit mama's goat butter on it and some dirt! Really boosts the flavor! And like my Pappy says, fancy food is for fancy jerks! Heh heh heh!
(as Scott is gathering his ingredients, Mal watches from behind a tree)
Mal: (confessional) So Scott is making quiche, eh? Anything the ginger can do, I can do better. He is right, fancy food IS for fancy jerks. (snickers evilly)
(in the kitchen, the campers are happily working on their meals. Geoff is flattening out the dough for his pizza. He talks to Gwen and Courtney)
Geoff: Hey, I've been thinking about who to vote off next.
Gwen: Who do you have in mind?
Geoff: Alejandro. Remember what he did to Bridgette in World Tour?
Courtney: Oh yeah, he left her stuck to a pole in the Yukon.
Geoff: Exactly! He messes with my girl, he messes with me! It's about time he gets a taste of his own medicine! What do you say? Are you in?
Gwen: Yep.
Courtney: Totally.
Geoff: Sweet!
(Sky is grilling her fish in a frying pan on the stove. Brick is drizzling barbecue sauce on his ribs)
Sky: Those ribs look tasty!
Brick: They do! They're part of the menu in the mess hall at cadets. We have to have protein with every meal.
Sky: That's great! I love fish! Particularly salmon, cod, bass, and tilapia. I like topping them off with a little butter.
Brick: Sounds delicious. (he and Sky smile at each other)
Geoff: Psst, Dudes, we gotta get rid of Alejandro.
Sky: He does seem like a powerful threat.
Geoff: He messed with my girlfriend in season 3! It's time for justice to be served! What do you say?
Sky: It's a tough call. I'm still part of Zoey's alliance to vote off Mal. He's holding Zoey's boyfriend hostage.
Geoff: Whoa…that's crazy!
Sky: You're telling me!
Geoff: (confessional) Oh snap! That's 2 baddies on the island to give the heave ho to! Can't we just vote them both off?
(out in the woods, Lindsay meets up with Jasmine and they partner up to forage for wild fruit)
Lindsay: Hi Jasmine! What are you going to cook?
Jasmine: I'm gonna do a roasted fruit kebab.
Lindsay: Mmm! That sounds yummy! I'm doing a fruit salad!
Jasmine: Cool! Maybe we could hunt together.
Lindsay: Yay! (confessional) I like Jasmine! She's cool! And I love her accent! Where is she from again?
Jasmine: (confessional) Lindsay's alright. She's sweet, but I think she bumped her head when she was little. Like, really hard. Better to be with her than with someone like Mal or Alejandro. Those 2 kookaburras are up to no good.
(Jasmine and Lindsay spot Mal and Scott and hide behind a bush. Jasmine notices they're scrambling for toxic mushrooms left over from season 4)
Jasmine: You know, I wonder if Chris was wanted before the whole toxic waste thing or just after.
Lindsay: Wanted for what? Dinner?
Jasmine: Uh, no. You know, dumping toxic waste on the island.
Lindsay: Why would he do such a thing? Bad Chris!
(Meanwhile, Alejandro is alone at the lake. He is using a fishing net to catch lobsters)
Alejandro: (confessional) It is a common lobster catching technique. Besides, Chef should love a nice red lobster drizzled with butter and paprika.
(Alejandro feels a tug in his net)
Alejandro: Magnifico! I got a big one! (he pulls and pulls until…what he caught is not a lobster at all! It's Fang! He grins hungrily at Alejandro) Whoa! How did you get in the net? Ay carramba, you look hungry! I think I saw Scott wandering about that way! (he points to the woods and Fang takes off running to find Scott!) Hmm…I really ought to go in there and save him from being eaten…not!
(Scott is in the woods gathering mushrooms for his quiche)
Scott: (confessional) Once I finish baking the quiche, I'll top it off with some of mama's goat butter! Man, I miss her cooking.
(as Scott is gathering his ingredients, he stumbles upon Jasmine and Lindsay gathering fruit and berries)
Scott: (smug) And how are things over here?
Lindsay: Oh, hello! What's your name again?
Scott: Uh, it's Scott.
Lindsay: Oh yeah! I keep forgetting! (giggles)
Jasmine: (to Scott) Where's a shark when you need one?
Scott: Hey! Not funny!
Jasmine: Whatever. (Jasmine and Lindsay gather enough fruit to make their meals. They leave)
Scott: Hmph. Suckers. Picking fruit. What will they make with that? (suddenly, Fang appears in front of him!)
Scott: (scared) NO! NOT YOU! NOT AGAIN! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! (Fang chases him through the woods! Mal sees this and snickers evilly)
Mal: (confessional) Nothing like watching a little real life sharks and minnows. (Snickers)
(as Fang chases Scott, Scott trips and drops his ingredients!)
Scott: No! (Fang gobbles them up in one bite!) ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! (Fang runs away and Scott chases him!) STOP, THIEF!
(As Jasmine and Lindsay are walking back to the kitchen with their fruit, they chat)
Lindsay: The last time I cooked a meal for a challenge, it didn't end very well.
Jasmine: What do you mean?
Lindsay: We had to cook a poison blowfish and serve it to our partner. My partner got sick eating that stuff because I screwed it up.
Jasmine: Yeah, you shouldn't cook something you don't know how to cook. It could be dangerous.
Lindsay: Yeah. Like one time, Gwen and I tried making a flambé cake and when Heather tried to teach us, it blew up all over her! It was actually funny! She lost her eyebrows!
Jasmine: Serves her right for the way she was treating you.
Lindsay: I know right?
(then, Fang runs past them!)
Jasmine: What the?
Lindsay: Shark! With feet! Wait, what?
Scott: (chasing Fang) GET BACK HERE, YOU DESPICABLE THIEF!
Lindsay: I'm so confused…
Jasmine: That shark must be mutated by all that toxic waste Chris was talking about.
Lindsay: (confessional) Sheesh…I'm glad I didn't compete in season 4…those poor people!
(back in the kitchen, Geoff, Gwen, Courtney, Sammy, Brick and Sky are busy preparing their meals. Sky is grilling her fish and humming happily)
Sammy: That fish looks good!
Sky: Thanks! What are you making Samey?
Sammy: I'm making something simple, a salad!
Brick: (salutes) A good choice ma'am. Sometimes simple is good. (Sammy smiles)
Sammy: He's nice.
Sky: He is, isn't he?
(Geoff is watching his pizza bake in the oven)
Geoff: Oh man, Chef is gonna love my signature pizza! WOO!
Gwen: I'm sure he will, Geoff.
Courtney: I'm making a sundae! How does it look?
Sammy: That looks yummy!
Courtney: Thanks! (She puts it in the freezer to keep it cold)
(Gwen is grilling her chicken)
Geoff: Is that chicken?
Gwen: Sure is.
Geoff: Gnarly! I love chicken! With balsamic marinade!
Gwen: Ooooh, I think I'll add that! Thanks for the suggestion!
Geoff: Don't mention it!
Chef: (loudspeaker) 3 hours remaining compestants! 3 hours!
Chris: You seem to be handling this challenge really well. Maybe you should host a season in the future.
Chef: Perhaps I should! Who's gonna cook a deluxe cuisine and who's gonna cook buttery toe flop? Find out when we come back on TOTAL! DRAMA! ALL-STARS!
Chris: Yes! Nice!
(Commercial break)
(In the woods, Lightning is wandering about, without a clue of what to cook)
Lightning: 3 hours left? What am I gonna do? Think Lightning! Think! Hmm…I know! (confessional) Lightning remembers what he made last time! Maggot cannelloni in a cream sauce! Yeah! I just hope I don't have to eat it again! That was sha-nasty! But Chef has to eat it now! Sucks to be that guy! Sha-sucker!
(Lightning searches the island for any remaining mutant maggots when he sees Fang running past him, and Scott is chasing him still)
Scott: That thieving shark got away! (confessional) How am I gonna catch that shark and get my ingredients back if he keeps running away? Hmm…(gets an idea) I've got it!
(as Fang runs away, Scott wanders off into the woods hatching up a plan. He builds a trap to catch Fang using a net and leaves to hide the trap)
Scott: Perfect! This will catch that cold-blooded bastard! (he hides out of sight as Fang comes running, thinking he lost Scott. Suddenly, he gets hoisted up into the trap! Scott comes out of hiding and laughs) You thought you could outsmart the Scottmeister, eh? Too bad! Now give me what's mine! Or else!
(Fang swallows them. Scott gasps! Then he grimaces evilly at the shark) Oh, you have just made your last mistake. (he lunges up at Fang and wraps his arms around the shark's belly, squeezing with all his strength! Meanwhile, Lindsay and Jasmine are coming back, heading in their direction. Then, they see Scott wrestling with Fang)
Jasmine: Crikey!
Lindsay: Oh my gosh!
Scott: (squeezing) Give…them…BACK! (Fang upchucks Scott's ingredients!)
Lindsay: Ewww!
Jasmine: Disgusting.
Scott: Big whoop. That's how my pappy taught me how to wrestle bigger critters on the farm. (he leaves with his ingredients and Fang growls in angry defeat)
(Izzy is gathering fish with her bare hands at the beach)
Izzy: Here fishy fishy! Come to mama! (she catches one) Yay! I found Nemo! And now, you're mine fishy! (she takes a bite out of it)
Alejandro: Uh, Izzy, I don't think Chef wants a partially eaten fish.
Izzy: Hi Al! Hi!
Alejandro: Whatever. (he goes back to fishing for lobsters and he catches some in his net) Excellente! Langostas! Delicioso! (he takes his catches back to the kitchen to cook them. Izzy is still catching fish)
Izzy: Here fishy fishy!
(Mal has gathered his ingredients for his quiche when he finds Fang dangling in the net above him)
Mal: Well well well. This is Scott's dirty work alright. Which means, I think it's time for a little sabotage. (Snickers evilly)
Mal: Who's ready to stir up trouble? (releases Fang from the trap with a knife) thought so. You hungry? (Fang nods hungrily) Good. Now go get lunch! (Fang takes off running to find Scott again)
(Meanwhile, Chris and Chef are lounging about, chatting)
Chef: It just took me 3 whole hours to clean the communal bathrooms.
Chris: Whoa, that long?
Chef: (annoyed) Yes. It was because of that stupid Sasquatchanakwa. He pisses in the sink, and he gets hair all over the toilet seat.
Chris: Sounds rough dude. Heh heh heh!
Chef: You wouldn't be laughing if you had to do it.
Chris: But I don't have to. Because THAT IS NOT MY JOB! Heh heh heh!
Chef: I don't think you wanna keep going there.
Chris: C'mon dude! Can you imagine me doing your job? Cooking and cleaning after everything? You'd be working at Starbucks in a (censored) week.
(Chef growls and grabs a giant spoon)
Chris: Whoa! Hey!
(meanwhile, Izzy caught a bunch of fish. They are wiggly and jumpy)
Izzy: Score! Izzy is the fishing champion of the world! Come on fishies! I'm gonna love you! In my belly! (laughs) (she grabs her fish and takes them back to the kitchen)
(Lightning is about to give up his search when he finds a mutant maggot!)
Lightning: I found it! Sha-finally! Alright maggot, time to go toe to toe with the Lightning! (he tries to tackle it, but it gets away from him!) Hey! Where do you think you're going! (chases it) You can run, but you can't get away!
(in the kitchen, Alejandro, Lindsay, Jasmine and Izzy bring in their meals. Geoff and Alejandro glare at each other)
Lindsay: Hi guys!
Sammy: Hey, how's it going?
Jasmine: Pretty good mate. How's it going with you?
Sammy: Great! I'm making a salad. How about you?
Jasmine: I'm roasting some fruit kebabs.
Lindsay: I'm doing fruit salad!
Sammy: Nice! I'm just doing a normal salad.
(Mal brings in his ingredients and gets ready to cook. Alejandro glares at him)
Alejandro: (confessional) I must recruit people to vote off that demon.
(Izzy is cooking her fish)
Sky: You're doing fish too? Awesome!
Izzy: Yeah! Only I went fishing.
Sky: Cool! I got this one from the food truck.
Izzy: They're quite slimy and slippery when they're still alive! (laughs)
(Alejandro rolls his eyes as he is boiling his lobsters. Lightning comes in with his maggot)
Lindsay: Ew! Is that a worm?
Lightning: I'm making Italian maggot cannelloni! With cream sauce!
Gwen: Yuck.
Courtney: Double yuck. (confessional) Then again, it's for Chef. I don't think he's that picky.
(Lightning is spraying cooking oil in a frying pan with the maggot resting on his head. He tries to hit it with the frying pan, but he hits himself instead! Everyone laughs at him!)
Sky: Fail! (laughs)
Lightning: (gets up) Don't laugh at me! You will pay for laughing at me!
(Scott is the last to arrive. He brings in his quiche ingredients. He is NOT happy)
Courtney: Scott? What's wrong?
Scott: Shark. That's what.
Courtney: Huh?
Alejandro: I believe he meant Fang.
Mal: That's exactly what he meant. (snickers)
(Scott growls and starts making his quiche. Unknown to him, Fang is hiding outside the mess hall, watching!)
Chef: (loudspeaker) 5 minutes remaining! 5 minutes!
(everyone's dishes are complete!)
Geoff: (sniffs his pizza) Ahhh. Smells good!
Alejandro: Magnifico!
Mal: (evilly) Excellent.
Brick: (salutes) Sergeant Brick done cooking sir! (Sky blushes)
Courtney: That quiche looks pretty good Scott!
Scott: Thanks, it's mama's recipe. Mushrooms and goat butter.
Lindsay: Goat butter? Ew! I didn't know goats make butter!
Alejandro: Goats are the other kind of mammal to provide dairy products for people. Like milk and butter.
Courtney: That's…great.
(Suddenly, Fang breaks in! Everyone is caught off guard! Especially Scott! He takes Scott's quiche and makes a run for it!)
Scott: ARE YOU F(CENSORED) KIDDING ME?! NOT AGAIN! GET BACK HERE, YOU LITTLE LIFETIME OF TOTAL FINANCIAL SECURITY! (he takes off after the shark again!)
Mal: (confessional) Now the circle of pain is complete. (snickers evilly)
(5 minutes later, everyone brings their meals to Chef, who is seated at one of the tables in the mess hall)
Chef: I hope you all made something tasty.
Geoff: You're gonna love what I made for you, dude!
Izzy: Yay! Feeding time!
Alejandro: Bon appetit.
Chef: Oh, something just came up and I have to meet up with Chris about something important. Rule change! You have to eat your own grub! (everyone is surprised)
Lightning: Sha-WHAT?!
Chef: Wait, where's ginger?
Alejandro: Scott? He's having shark trouble.
Gwen: Yeah, the shark stole his meal.
Chef: Sucks to be that dork! He might have to say his prayers if he wants to stay in the game!
(Scott barges into the mess hall with his quiche again!)
Scott: (shouts to Fang) DON'T LET ME CATCH YOU STEALING MY FOOD AGAIN, YA HEAR ME?!
Sky: Scott, Chef changed the rules.
Scott: What?
Chef: You have to eat the crap you made. Whoever finishes their meal first wins invincibility. So dig in!
Geoff: I get to eat my own pizza? Sweet!
Lindsay: Fruit salad! Yummy!
Courtney: Ehh…I don't know…(confessional) Okay yeah, I do have an iron stomach, but I'm also lactose intolerant, in case you forgot. Ice cream is a dairy product. Ehhh, I'm conflicted! What do I do? (sighs) I'm afraid I'll have to bite the bullet and go for it.
Alejandro: (confessional) I may be a bit of a picky eater, but I love lobster.
Mal: (confessional) Mike was right. The other losers couldn't help with eating at all. Peons.
(everyone is eating while others are struggling to eat. Then, Mal finishes his dish first)
Mal: Done!
Chef: And Mike wins!
Mal: It's MAL. Don't forget it.
Chef: The rest of you go vote someone off. Other than lanky here.
(that evening, everyone is hanging out at the cabins, talking about who to vote off)
Geoff: (to Gwen and Courtney) So we're agreed to vote for Alejandro?
Gwen and Courtney: Yes.
Geoff: Gnarly! This'll teach him for freezing my girl to a pole!
(Alejandro comes over)
Alejandro: I know I'm not your person favorito at the moment, but I must tell you. I am not the real villain here. A greater evil is lurking. And that is Mal.
Geoff: Why should we believe you?
Alejandro: He has tried sabotaging just about anyone who gets in his way. If you're not careful, you could be next.
Geoff: Nope. Not biting.
Alejandro: Fine. But don't come crying to me when he has a ray gun with your name on it. (leaves) (confessional) He may have invincibility for now, but next time, it will be I who will defeat that monster.
Courtney: Hey Scott? Gwen and I are voting for Alejandro. Are you in?
Scott: Sorry babe, I'm voting Mal. He is a total scammer! He turned me into shark bait and stole my meal from me!
Courtney: But, he has invincibility.
Scott: He sabotaged me! That hotel should belong to someone else! Someone that's not him!
Gwen: That does sound like a low blow.
(Brick and Sky come over)
Brick: Since Mal is immune, Sky and I are planning to vote Alejandro.
Sky: He's the only other villain who's not immune.
Scott: Looks like it's goodbye Al! As for Mal, we'll get him next time!
(Mal is eavesdropping)
Mal: (confessional) Not on my watch.
(later that night, everyone is at the elimination ceremony, where Chef is reading the votes with Chris at his side)
Chris: Care to do the honors Chef?
Chef: Gladly. Elimination time, wannabe cooks! One of you is going home tonight, except for Mal. (some of the contestants glare at him)
Scott: You won't get away with what you did!
Mal: (sarcastic) Sorry, can't hear you.
Chef: Shut your pot holes! Now, no marshmallow, you lose. (he passes out marshmallows) Mal. Brick. Sky. Jasmine. Lindsay. Samey.
Sammy: It's Sammy!
Chef: Whatever. Lightning. Izzy. Geoff. (Geoff grins smugly at Alejandro) Courtney. Gwen. (Alejandro and Scott are left) And the final marshmallow goes to… (Alejandro and Scott glare at each other as they wait) Alejandro. (everyone gasps! Mal grins evilly)
Scott: WHAT? ME?
Courtney: (devastated) No! Alejandro should be going home! We all voted for him!
Chef: Scott had more votes against him.
Courtney: But, how did this happen?
(in the confessional, Mal reveals he tampered with the votes! He set the votes up to have more votes against Scott! He snickers evilly)
Courtney: Scott, why did it have to be you? Why?
Scott: I don't know! I'm just as devastated as you are!
Courtney: I'm gonna miss you! Keep in touch! (she kisses him passionately on the lips! Scott kisses her back)
Scott: I'll miss you too babe.
Courtney: I'll treasure your shoelace ring always!
(Chef takes him away on the boat of losers. Courtney starts tearing up. Gwen comforts her as she waves goodbye to her new boyfriend)
Courtney: (confessional) This is awful! Now both guys who mean the most to me are gone! This is so unfair! (cries)
Gwen: (confessional) Poor Scott! I think someone tampered with the votes! But who? Only Mal or Alejandro could have done it.
Alejandro: (confessional) Unfortunate that Scott was the next one to go. But since Mal is still lingering around, I still have a chance to expose him for the asshole he is. Chef: Now, which one of you punks is going to Boney Island? Mal?
Mal: Alejandro.
(Alejandro glares at him)
Mal: (confessional) That'll keep that (censored) out of my hair for a while. He's trying to rat me out by any means necessary. Over my dead body!
Chef: Looks like the dirty redhead farm boy has left the building. Who will be the next loser to set sail into the dark forever? Find out next episode on TOTAL! DRAMA! ALL-STARS!
Chris: Nice job!
(credits)
ELIMINATION ORDER
PRE-MERGE
24th: Sugar
23rd: Max
22nd: Jo
21st: Sierra
20th: Owen
19th: Cameron
18th: Heather
17th: Shawn
16th: Scarlett
POST-MERGE
15th: Zoey
14th: Duncan
13th: Scott