Total Drama All-Stars Rewritten: Episode 24
RATED TV-14
This episode contains material that may be inappropriate for viewers under the age of 14. Viewer discretion is advised.
Aftermath IV
(Recap)
Alejandro: This show just got 100% less handsome! And I am not the real tyrant! For there is a much greater evil lurking within you! The truth is in the art! It's in the art! (he sails away beyond the horizon)
Gwen: (shouts to Courtney) GOOD LUCK COURTNEY! WE'LL SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN! I PROMISE!
Geoff: Later dudes! See ya on the aftermath!
Sammy: It's okay. It was fun while it lasted. And I got to make an awesome new friend. (she smiles at Lindsay) Although SOMEONE is going to pay for this! (she glares at Mal and Mal grins evilly)
Lightning: Lightning will get you yet! That is a promise! (Sky is still smug as Lightning is carried off on the boat of losers)
(Theme song)
Dear mom and dad, I'm doing fine
You guys are on my mind
You asked me what I wanted to be, now I think the answer is plain to see
I wanna be famous!
I wanna live close to the sun
Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won
Everything to prove nothing in my way
I'll get there one day
'Cause I wanna be famous!
Na, na, na-na-na-na, na-na-na, na, na-na-na-na
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!
(Whistling)
(Aftermath theme song)
(In the Total Drama Aftermath studio, Bridgette and Blaineley are seated center stage with the peanut gallery)
Blaineley: Welcome back to another juicy episode of the Aftermath! I'm Blaineley!
Bridgette: And I'm Bridgette! Wow, a lot of exciting challenges have taken place since we last saw you!
Blaineley: Chef's hide and seek, the underground mine adventure, the return of the psycho killer, the Wawanakwa 500, and Total Drama Ninja Warrior!
Bridgette: Yeah! Wow, those sound like fun! Now I'm kinda bummed I didn't get selected to All-Star status!
Blaineley: Me too! But that's okay, because we get to hang out with all of you and dish the dirt on what transpired on the show!
Bridgette: Yep! But first, give it up for our VIP section, the Total Drama peanut gallery! All our original cast, Revenge of the Island and Pahkitew Island friends! And check it out! Duncan's back! (the audience cheers for Duncan as he is in a wheelchair with his leg in a cast)
Blaineley: How are you holding up Duncan?
Duncan: I'm fine. My leg is healing well. And I did my time in juvie. That's why I'm here now. (Zoey smiles at him)
Bridgette: Glad to have you back, Duncan! And we got Ezekiel back too! (Ezekiel is back to normal)
Ezekiel: Yo yo yo! The Zeke is back yo!
Bridgette: Glad to see you're not feral anymore!
Ezekiel: Word! Wait, was that me?
Noah: (sarcastic) Yes, it was.
Blaineley: You were so obsessed with sticking around that it changed you for the worse.
Bridgette: But we're glad to have you back to normal again! I guess…
Ezekiel: Word up homes! Uh huh!
Bridgette: Uh…yeah. And Heather could not be here because she's still in jail. Whereas Izzy is still on the run!
Blaineley: We might see her again on today's show! That girl is full of surprises!
Bridgette: I know right? Okay! Total Drama has lost some serious fan favorites!
Blaineley: We've got Alejandro, Gwen, and Geoff here!
Bridgette: And, Sammy and Lightning!
Amy: How is Samey a fan favorite?! She sucked on the show! It should have been me! ME!
Bridgette: I'm sorry but, it wasn't up to you to decide. It was up to the fans.
Amy: Well, screw all of you! You suck! (the audience boos her)
Eva: (sarcastic) So nice to see a star getting along with the fans. (some people laugh)
Bridgette: (giggles) Okay! Thanks Eva. Now it's time to bring out our first group of guests! But first, let's see what brought them to this moment.
Blaineley: Alejandro came into Total Drama All-Stars as a strong contender. Having made it to the final 2 in World Tour, he was a big fan favorite! Eh, Bridgette?
Bridgette: Uh, yeah! He butted heads with Heather a lot, especially when they fought on the plane in Toronto to rescue Chris! And then he set his sights on Mal to get the big target off his back, but to no avail.
Blaineley: So, any plans to lock lips with him again? Or maybe a pole?
Bridgette: Shut up! Let's not talk about that! Anyway, next up, our friend Gwen!
Blaineley: Ah yes, the boyfriend kisser.
Bridgette: Hey! All 3 parties played a role in that scandal! And they moved on! Anyway, Gwen was one of the most requested people to return to compete, even though she really didn't want to.
Blaineley: She had some bridges to repair with Courtney, and now she became her gal pal! All the while, still dating Duncan!
Bridgette: Which meant Courtney was left crushed when her best friend left the game. And finally, my shmoopsie poo Geoff!
Blaineley: How sweet. Despite his poor performance in Total Drama Action, Geoff placed pretty high in the fan ballots for this season! He was locked on defeating Alejandro to get back at him after what he did to Bridgette.
Bridgette: (sweetly) That's my Geoff! He achieved his goal when Alejandro was voted off. But shortly after, he followed.
Blaineley: Our guests have a diplomat for a father, owns 2 lizards, is one hell of a party animal, has a hypnotist for an uncle, is claustrophobic, and was the starting quarterback for his high school football team, welcome Alejandro, Gwen, and Geoff! (the audience cheers as they take the stage)
Geoff: Yo everyone!
Bridgette: Geoff!
Geoff: Bridge! (they hug each other tightly and Alejandro rolls his eyes) I missed you babe!
Bridgette: I missed you too! Hi Gwen!
Gwen: Bridgette! It's so good to see you! (they hug)
Bridgette: (glaring at Alejandro) Alejandro.
Alejandro: (glaring back) Bridgette.
Blaineley: Great to have you guys on the show!
Alejandro: Hmph.
Gwen: Thanks for having us!
Geoff: Nice to be back in my old stomping grounds! With the love of my life!
Bridgette: Aww!
Katie and Sadie: Awwwww!
Trent: Hey Gwen!
Gwen: Hey Trent! Long time no see!
Noah: (sarcastic) Oh look, it's eels.
Owen: Hey Al!
(Alejandro glares at Owen and Noah)
Blaineley: So guys, how did it feel to be voted to All-Star status by our awesome fans?
Geoff: Gotta say, it was a real honor! I made lots of wicked new friends, but I missed my babe most of all.
Bridgette: Awww!
Alejandro: (sarcastic) How flattering.
Gwen: I'll admit, I am happy that so many fans love me enough to vote me in as an All-Star. But it also sucked knowing I had to be back at the place I loathe. (pause) Well, maybe it wasn't all bad. (to Duncan) Hey babe!
Duncan: Hey Pasty!
Gwen: You doing alright?
Duncan: I'm fine. My leg still kinda hurts a little bit, but I'll be okay.
DJ: That man is such a warrior.
Alejandro: It was an honor to be voted as an All-Star. I kind of predicted it at the beginning.
Bridgette: (sarcastic) Nice.
Blaineley: So Al, I gotta know.
Alejandro: (glaring) You will address me as my real name or else.
Blaineley: (teasing) Sorry, MR. Al. (this makes Alejandro angry! Everyone else laughs)
Alejandro: (angry) ENOUGH! (everyone stops laughing) I have had it with these (censored) idiots and their (censored) (censored)!
Blaineley: Care to share more with a little game of truth or electrocution?
(Bridgette and the guests gasp)
Bridgette: ARE YOU (censored) KIDDING ME?! Absolutely not! The hammer is enough!
Blaineley: I took a page out of Geoff's book when he brought it out in season 2.
Geoff: Oh come on! I learned my lesson! I learned to go on with the segment and not go too over the top!
Bridgette: I'm glad you did, because these people are our friends! And they've had it rough enough already!
Blaineley: Ha! In your dreams. Take a seat, Al! (Alejandro doesn't move) I said, take a seat, Al!
Alejandro: (stern) I will not cooperate if you keep calling me that.
Blaineley: Fine. Alejandro. Take a seat.
Alejandro: Hmph. (he takes a seat in the electric chair) Just get on with it.
Blaineley: So, Alejandro. You and Geoff had a pretty heated rivalry this season! Do you think Geoff was taking it a little too far?
Alejandro: Sí. (he doesn't get shocked)
Geoff: Oh come on! I had to avenge my girl after what you did to her! You'd think I had forgotten about that?
Alejandro: Forgotten? No. Moved on? Sí. (ZAP!)
Blaineley: (laughs) Nice! And how about Mal? Or is it Mike?
Zoey: It's Mal, and he's taken control of Mike!
Blaineley: I wasn't asking you, redhead. Alejandro?
Alejandro: I could not let Mal win, so I had to do everything I could to stop him.
Blaineley: I see. So is it true that you were in it to win the challenges? Did you want to get the big villain label off your back? Or was it something else?
Alejandro: While I'm not known for being trustworthy, I had to hide the DVD that showed the evidence about the skinny and awkward individual, straight from the horse's mouth.
Zoey: Hey! That's my boyfriend you're talking about! So watch it!
Alejandro: I beg to differ.
Zoey: It's his evil personality! He has Dissociative Identity Disorder, stupid!
Alejandro: I have a degree in engineering, AND an I.Q. of 163.
Zoey: Well, I think you're a weasel.
Blaineley: (giggles) Okay! Next question, how are things with you and Heather?
Alejandro: Heather? I still value our relationship, even though she shot me down. She still wants me.
Sierra: He's right! My blogs have the proof! She can be in denial all she wants, she knows it's true! (laughs)
Alejandro: Speaking of which, is Heather here today?
Bridgette: Nope, still in jail. But we might be able to get her on webcam.
Alejandro: Bueno! Okay, let me out of this! (he unbuckles the strap and gets up)
Blaineley: Okay new Heather, your turn!
Gwen: (glaring) Do NOT call me that.
Blaineley: Oh sorry. Boyfriend kisser.
Bridgette: Blaineley!
Gwen: (glaring/cracks her knuckles) 3 strikes and you're out, bimbo.
Bridgette: I'll take it from here! Could you take a seat, Gwen?
Gwen: (annoyed) That's more like it. (she takes a seat in the electric chair)
Bridgette: So, a lot has happened in your experience, Gwen. Burying the hatchet with Courtney, making new friends, still dating Duncan, care to share your take?
Gwen: Sure. Making things right with Courtney was a top priority. I couldn't stand her hating me any longer. When we made up after the boxing challenge, I was so happy.
Bridgette: Awww! Now look at you 3! Best friends! I'm so happy for you!
Gwen: Thanks. Next question.
Blaineley: I gotta know! Do you still have a thing for Trent?
Trent: I'm sitting right here!
Gwen: A thing? Look, I still really like Trent. I always have. We might not be dating anymore. But he and I are still really close. (she and Trent smile at each other)
Trent: That's right. And I'm cool with her being with Duncan. As long as she's happy, that makes me happy.
Duncan: Right on, dude. (they fist bump)
Blaineley: Oh! This one has been burning a hole in my side! How did you feel when Zoey kissed Duncan? (she plays the footage of Zoey kissing Duncan on the cheek after her elimination) Were you jealous?
Gwen: Of course not! Duncan and Zoey are just friends.
Zoey: Exactly! I said this on the last show! It was nothing more than a friendly gesture! Duncan is Gwen's boyfriend and I respect that! Duncan is just a good friend of mine! Sheesh, why must you push it?!
Blaineley: You should know I'm all about the gossip.
Bridgette: (rolls eyes) Typical.
Gwen: (glaring at Blaineley) Moving on. Anyway, I wasn't jealous. Zoey is a mutual friend of ours. Duncan and I talked it over and it's all good.
Blaineley: DAMMIT! How are we supposed to- (Bridgette punches her in the arm)
Bridgette: (stern) Don't even think about it! You're this close to getting a replacement! Now is that what you want?! (Blaineley shakes her head no nervously) I thought so. Now let me handle this. (to Gwen) Sorry about Blaineley. She doesn't know when enough is enough.
Gwen: It's cool.
Bridgette: Anyway, I'm so happy things worked out for all of you.
Gwen: Thanks Bridgette. (she gets out of the chair and hugs Bridgette)
Bridgette: Okay Geoffy-boo, your turn!
Geoff: Booyah! (he takes a seat in the electric chair)
Blaineley: So, Geoff! Your mission was to target Alejandro for what he did to Bridgette. Do you really believe he is the evil mastermind this year?
Alejandro: (stern) Ahem.
Geoff: Nah. I know he's evil, but I know who the real sleezeball is. But he messes with my girl, he messes with me!
Alejandro: Okay, can we move on from that Por favor?
Geoff: Fine. But that doesn't mean I can't act like it didn't happen.
Blaineley: Ooooh, drama! (she plays footage of Bridgette making googly eyes at Alejandro and kissing him in the Yukon) Yep, I'm back baby!
Bridgette: (angry) Blaineley! That does it! Security!
Blaineley: Fine, but you still wanted to make out with a hot Spanish dude.
Bridgette: Take her away! (2 interns escort Blaineley offstage)
Blaineley: You haven't seen the last of me! I'll be back! Just you wait!
Bridgette: Phew! She's gone. Now I need a replacement co-host.
Topher: Right here!
Bridgette: DJ.
DJ: Yeah!
Topher: Oh come on! This guy?! This guy has no on camera poise experience! Not like me!
Bridgette: Those classes won't do you justice, Buster. (DJ joins Bridgette and Topher pouts. Geoff's eye is twitching from the footage of Bridgette and Alejandro)
Bridgette: (comforting) Okay Geoff, calm down! Calm down! Everything's fine! I'm here! I'm ok! (she kisses him, calming him down) Aww, there you are.
DJ: I think we got a guest on webcam! (he pulls up the webcam, and it's Alejandro's brother José!)
José: Hola!
Alejandro: (glares) José!
José: Al! What a pity it is you didn't come home with a million dollars this time!
Alejandro: (angry) I still won season 3.
José: (smug) Oh, did you? I recall the million falling into the hot boiling lava at the hands of a feral monster.
Alejandro: (angry) Don't remind me.
Ezekiel: That million was mine anyway eh!
Noah: You lost fair and square. Let it go.
José: Sí, you're still no millionaire. What a disgrace.
Alejandro: (smug) And yet, I kicked your ass in the boxing challenge. (José is embarrassed)
José: Ay carramba! That was rigged I tell you! Rigged!
Bridgette: Uh, okay! Thanks José! It's time we take a break. We'll be right back!
(Commercial break)
Bridgette: Welcome back! Now that our guest Geoff has completed his Q&A, he's joining me in the cohost seat once again!
Geoff: That's right! I'm back where I belong! And Blaineley has been sent to do some, uh…chores backstage. (Chuckles) Shall we check on her? (the monitor shows Blaineley mopping the floor in the green room)
Blaineley: What the?! Turn that damn thing off! This is so humiliating! (everyone laughs)
Geoff: Now, I think it's time for my most favorite segment of all, THAT'S GONNA LEAVE A MARK!
Bridgette: Roll it!
(the monitor shows the injuries and bloopers from the show! Ezekiel getting crushed by the collapsing mine, Lightning crashing into a junk pile, Lindsay getting hit on the head with a coconut, and Jasmine getting bitten by an alligator!)
Geoff: Ouch! Now that's gonna leave a mark!
Bridgette: (to Gwen) Gwen, I bet it really sucked having to go through that spooky mine!
Gwen: Very scary. Remember the burying me alive fiasco? Yeah, Chris was such a (censored) to make a challenge just to make my skin crawl.
Geoff: I bet! I was with her when it happened.
Bridgette: I know. Brick and Jasmine had it rough too. Brick being afraid of the dark and Jasmine being claustrophobic.
Jo: Weak!
Max: Hmph! I do not fear a lousy mine! It would make the perfect EVIL lair! For I fear NOTHING!
Noah: (to Max/sarcastic) Big talk coming from a schmuck with no jingle bells below his belt. (Everyone laughs)
Max: WHAT?! HOW DARE YOU!
Noah: You don't get it, do you? Allow me to explain. Drama Brothers, a little help please. (The Drama Brothers play music and Noah sings sarcastically) Jingle jingle jingle, I don't hear your sleigh bells ring! I don't think I'll mingle, with the lack of jingling! Jingle jingle weasel, through the big cannon you'll go, you think you're so evil, you're the dumbest (censored) I know! No nuts McGee, don't you see? Duncan kicked you high! Into the lake a human crab cake, flying in the sky! Jingle jingle jingle, I don't hear your sleigh bells ring! I don't think I'll mingle, with the lack of jingling! I don't think I'll mingle, with the lack of jingling!
(everyone burst out laughing! Except Max! He is speechless from embarrassment)
Max: (embarrassed/angry) SILENCE! (everyone is still laughing)
Bridgette: (laughing) Oh my gosh! I've never heard something so savage before!
Geoff: (laughing) Noah! Full props for that man!
Scarlett: (laughing) I couldn't have said it better myself.
Max: (embarrassed) For your insolence, I shall build a super weapon of incredible destructive force! Eventually.
Noah: (sarcastic) Good luck with that.
Bridgette: (trying to stop laughing) Okay! I think it's time to introduce our final guests of the night! Take a look!
Geoff: Despite not qualifying from the beginning, Sammy won the second chance challenge on the aftermath.
Bridgette: Desperate to escape her sister's shadow, Sammy wanted to come out of her shell and be her own woman. And she did just that as she made new friends and left the show with a smile.
Geoff: Next up, Lightning! Dude was a major fan favorite after his high-flying performance in season 4.
Bridgette: Despite not having many friends, Lightning still kept the same mindset of not letting others outwork him! Not even Sky! Or, so we thought.
Geoff: Our guests is a cheerleader, has bleached white hair, was born 17 minutes after her sister, and has trouble telling male from female, please welcome…Sammy and Lightning!
(Sammy enters shyly as the audience cheers for her. Amy boos her. Lightning comes soaring in with style!)
Lightning: Sha-BAM! Lightning is in the hiz-house!
Sammy: (smiles shyly) Uh…hi!
Amy: Ugh. (censored). (Sammy flips the bird at Amy)
Geoff: Awesome to have you guys!
Bridgette: Yeah! Welcome!
Sammy: Thanks! It's funny how I remember this place like I was here yesterday, and now I'm back. Funny, right?
Bridgette: Yeah! (then, Izzy comes swinging in!)
Izzy: I know right!
Geoff: Izzy? Where were you?
Izzy: Oh Geoff! I was hiding from the RCMP! They just won't get off my back after I blew up Chris's place!
Bridgette: So, you're still on the run?
Izzy: Yep! Olé!
Owen: Run, Izzy! Run! Save yourself!
Izzy: Hi Big O! (she hand springs over to him and sits on his lap)
Geoff: Uh, okay! Cool! Sammy, it's your turn in the hot seat. And by that, I mean electric chair.
Sammy: WHAT?!
Geoff: It wasn't my idea, it was Blaineley's.
Sammy: Ugh. I should've known. (she sits in the electric chair)
Amy: Oh, this is gonna be awesome! Seeing Sparemy get shocked repeatedly! Ahh, music to my ears!
Leshawna: What's your problem girl?! She's your sister!
Amy: Whatever. It's not like I need her.
DJ: Do you hear yourself?!
Eva: That's really (censored) up.
Cameron: An inferiority complex, I'd say.
Amy: Whatever! Hmph!
Geoff: Okay! So, Sammy! You were brought back to the show with Izzy after the second chance challenge. How did it feel to be competing on your own for once? With All-Star status?
Sammy: It felt pretty good, actually! I made lots of new friends and it really helped boost my confidence! Now I feel I can look Amy in the eye and not be her puppet!
Amy: Ugh. Pathetic.
Bridgette: Easy, Amy.
Geoff: We're happy to hear that Sammy! So, what brought you to this moment was when Mal sabotaged you out of the Wawanakwa 500 race. Do you think he's a worthy competitor?
Sammy: No. (ZAP!) Hey! I wasn't finished! Anyway, Mal is a mean, nasty, (censored) (censored) (censored) (censored)!
Zoey: My thoughts exactly.
Leshawna: You go girl!
Geoff: Awesome! Next up, our main man Lightning!
Jo: (smug) Ho Ho, this I gotta see.
Katie and Sadie: (admiring him) Wowwwww.
Justin: Eh, he's not that good looking.
Alejandro: Nah, he's good looking to a degree. But not as good looking as me.
Justin: You?
Alejandro: Yes. All I see is an ugly reincarnation of Frankenstein's monster.
Audience: OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!
Geoff: Uh oh! We better get to Lightning's questions before this goes too far.
Justin: (to Alejandro) You, me, backstage after the show.
Alejandro: (smug) Looking forward to it.
Bridgette: Okay, let's try to stay on topic guys! We're talking about Lightning.
Lightning: Sha-yeah! Time for the gun show! (he sits in the electric chair)
Geoff: So, Lightning. Your athletic skills caught the attention of many of your peers. Most notably Sky and Lindsay. Your thoughts?
Lightning: Lightning is not surprised! I'm a real crowd pleaser!
Jo: I'm surprised you couldn't tell I was a girl in season 4!
Lightning: Sha-please! You're just salty cuz I kicked your ass! (Jo growls angrily) That tiny girl Sky just wouldn't give up! She was tougher than I thought!
Bridgette: Right you are! Check out the Lightning vs. Sky highlight reel from the season! (the monitor shows the best moments of Lightning and Sky's rivalry from the season! All the stunts, the trash talk, and the competitive spirit! The audience cheers)
Geoff: Wow! There's a highlight reel that'll be remembered forever!
Sierra: That highlight reel has over a million views on my Total Drama fan site!
Geoff: Awesome! Okay, next question. During your time on the show, Lindsay seemed very attracted to you. Like, REALLY attracted. (Tyler is glaring at Lightning) Do you share the same feelings for Lindsay?
Lightning: Hell nah! Lightning doesn't date!
Tyler: Phew.
Geoff: Are you sure? Even after she kissed you?
(the monitor shows Lindsay kissing Lightning on the cheek before he left)
Lightning: I did NOT see that coming!
Zoey: Again, just a friendly gesture! Nothing to worry about!
Tyler: I just hope Lindsay still remembers me.
Bridgette: I'm sure she does, Tyler.
Geoff: I think we have an exclusive clip showing Lindsay's thoughts on her jocky friends! (the monitor shows Lindsay in the confessional)
Lindsay: (monitor) Thunder totally reminds me of Tyler! Er, I mean, Lightning. They're both super athletic, they play football, they can do all these different stunts, and they're both gorgeous! I'm happy to know another guy who shares the same traits as my Tyler! If you're watching back home, I miss you! (she blows a kiss and the footage ends)
Bridgette: See Tyler? You have nothing to worry about.
Rodney: That girl is super cute!
Tyler: Don't even think about it.
Geoff: Final question for Lightning! After getting beaten by Sky in the Ninja Warrior challenge, do you think she has a shot at reaching the finale?
Lightning: I mean, I gotta respect tiny girl's skills! But she did NOT kick my ass! That challenge was rigged!
Jo: You actually respect midget's skills? That's a first.
Cameron: I'm glad to see he has a little bit of heart.
Harold: Can I just say, that Ninja Warrior challenge was awesome! I could have owned that challenge with my mad skills!
Duncan: Uh, right Doris.
Leshawna: Don't even go there! One scratch on Harold and Leshawna will be getting all up in your business!
Bridgette: And that's all for tonight! Thank you all so much for tuning in! You've been a wonderful audience!
Geoff: Join Chris and the gang next time for an all-new dramatic episode of…TOTAL! DRAMA! ALL-STARS!
Bridgette: Goodnight!
(the audience cheers as they dim the lights)
(epilogue)
(Blaineley is still backstage mopping when everything has gone quiet)
Blaineley: Where'd everybody go? Is it over? They left without me?! Ugh! They're gonna pay for this!
(Meanwhile, Alejandro and Justin meet in the back alley of the building. They stare each other down)
(Credits)