Chapter 6
Broken Promises
A/N: Thank you to those who reviewed, keep em' coming
A/N2: I've tried to keep this story as light-hearted as I can but this chapter I needed more drama/angst/darkness, its just something I felt was necessary for the story, but the entire story isn't going to be like this from here on. Basically just this chapter. Butits good though...I should know, I wrote it(lol) I thought I should warn you though.
Sarai laughed uncomfortably at Giles statement, "you have fun with that. Try not to get slaughtered as soon as you enter. Send me a postcard, ya know if they existed there." she said.
"Well, obviously you'll have to go aswell." Giles responded.
"Ok, even if I had to listen to you, which I don't I couldn't go. Neither can you or anyone else. Do you have any idea how friggin' hard it is to get back? And there in the first place, actually. And then there's that little fact that most humans get killed as soon as they enter that place." Sarai argued.
"And then there's the simple fact that its just not gonna happen" Angel added.
"There's that too" Sarai agreed.
"Look" Giles started to say "I understand...."
"You understand nothing" Sarai cut in."I won't do it. I won't!" Sarai exclaimed storming out of the room.
"Did I miss something?" Xander asked, "Whats a Quor-Toth?"
Before anyone could answer the private elevator 'dinged' and opened "Hey Angel have you seen Sar-" Dawn started to say exiting the elevator(along with Faith) and entering the office "Ah hey guys" she added at the site of Buffy and the scoobies.
"Dawn, what are you dong here?" Buffy asked.
"Um...I gave her a shout when I came here last week. We've been hangin', she's been ya know showin' me round the town" Faith said covering for her.
"Its cool Faith, you don't have to lie. Buffy, Sarai and I are friends, good friends, we coincidently go to the same school where we met and ever since I found out she knows Angel, Spike and everyone, well I hang here, like all the time." Dawn confessed.
"Oh." was all Buffy said because she didn't want to make an ass of herself again.
"So, where is she Angel?" Dawn asked.
"Huh? Uh.. I don't know. She left...walked out." he replied half spaced out. He was having trouble wrapping his mind around the fact that there's a chance Sarai's needed to go back to that awful place.
"Whats wrong?" Faith asked, sensing something was up.
"It involves something to do with a Quor-Toth apparently" Xander answered.
"Quor-Toth? What about that place? Is that why she just seemed so pissed?" Gunn asked also joining everyone in the office with Lorne and Fred behind him.
"You saw Sarai?" Wesley questioned.
"Yeah we passed her heading up the stairs, she didn't even say hi, just kept going" Fred answered.
"Ya know what Xander? Why don't we go into another office and I'll explain it." Dawn offered.
"I'll join you" Willow said. The three of them left.
"Alright so what's the deal?" said Gunn.
"You remember the symbols I spoke of in London? Well apparently Sarai said they have something to do with a demon in that Quor-Toth dimension." Giles stated.
"Wow, so let me guess, you want her to go back there and do whatever it is that needs to be done? That's crazy" Gunn replied.
"And also not happening" Angel added.
"It may be the only way. Giles said this demon could be planning an apocalypse." Buffy said.
"I don't care. Besides its not easy to get into, its extremely hard, impossible even. Trust me."Angel replied forcefully. "And then there's that whole time moving faster factor, people aging faster."
"Maybe Willow could help with the getting in. If we can find away around all that stuff and a group of us go, including you, would you even consider talking Sarai into going?" Buffy asked.
"No."
"Angel, I know I am probably the last person who should speak about this right now but they do have a point" Wesley said causing Angel to give him a very nasty look. "All I am saying is that when Cordy was trapped in Pylea, you made Lorne with us because he knows that place. So he could guide..."
"This is not the same" Lorne interrupted. As much as he hated Pylea, he knew from what he heard back when he was researching how to go there of Angel that Pylea was like Disney Land compared to Quor-Toth.
"I know that" Wesley confirmed.
"Angel I love Sarai, you know that. But you know as well as I do that if this was anyone else you'd be saying that she needs..." Cordy started to say but then Angel interrupted.
"This isn't anyone else. You can't ask her to do this and you certainly can't ask me to ask her."
"Can I speak to Angel alone?" Cordy asked everyone. They all left.
"I don't want to hear it" Angel stated.
"You need too. You know she's the best shot at stopping this thing. You have to tell her that..."
"I am not telling her anything. You have idea what you're asking me to do. I can't believe you even are" Angel responded.
"Its not like I want it to happen either."
"Cordelia, you want me go talk to my child into living out her worst nightmare. I can't ok. You have no idea...when Holtz came back a few months ago Sarai was....scared, terrified at the thought of going back there, even after I killed him. I swore to her several times she never would. I can't go back on that. I can't break another promise to her and let her down again."
"You won't be letting her down."
"Yes I would. Besides she just can't go through that. Again. Hasn't she had more then enough already?"
"You're right she's been through more then any fifteen year old..."
"Thats another thing" Angel cut off "she's fifteen! If it wasn't for that place she'd be 27 months old, oblivious to all the dangers in the world. I mean who knows how long she'll have to be in Quor-Toth, by the time she gets back she could be in her thirties! Or hell, since Sarai told me once that the older you get, faster you age there, she could be like 70."
"Maybe Willow could do some sorta wiccan age protection thing."
"Or maybe Sarai could end up dying of old age before she's technically supposed to turn 3. She's already been stripped of her childhood because of someone's vendetta against me, you can't expect me to ask her to risk giving up more of her life."
"It's the only way and you know it. And you know aswell as I do that if someone has to tell, you're the only one who can."
Angel didn't say anything right away. He knew it had to be done, he just wasn't sure if he could do it. "I know" he finally mumbled. 'I need to go speak with her."
Angel went up to the penthouse and walked into Sarai's bedroom. He had to close his eyes for a few moments because it hurt to him much to see the sight that was infront of him . Sarai was sitting in the corner of her bad against her headboard and the wall in a fetal position, and she looked scared. "Did you finally convince those people I am not going anywhere?" she whimpered.
'How the hell am I gonna do this? I can't hurt her like this.' Angel said to himself. He decided to start off light. "I was sort've side tracked when you came in the office before and I didn't get the chance to tell you that I love the new hair." he said.
Sarai smiled a little and lifted her head more to look at him better. "Really?" she asked.
Angel only nodded because he was to busy staring at her. He really wasn't paying much attention to how Sarai looked so he didn't notice it, but he did now. Although everyone always says she looked liked him and her hair shade wasn't that blonde, it was blonde enough to make him notice just how much she looked like Darla. The Angel started thinking about Darla, he promised her no one would ever touch or hurt their child; another broken promise.
Sarai's smile faded when she realized something "you never answered my question" she told him. Angel sat on her bed and looked down at the floor. "Daddy, you did tell them no....right?"
"Look princess, I..."
"Oh my god! You agreed. You want me to go..."
"I don't want you too. But..."
"I don't believe you" Sarai said incredibly hurt. "How could you do this to me? I thought you were on my side."
"This isn't about sides Sarai, but if it was, I am always on your side. This is about doing what's right."
"Right for who? The world? I am not you dad. I am not a hero or a champion or whatever. It may sound selfish but its true, I don't go for all that self-sacrifice for the greater purpose of saving the world."
"You're not selfish. You've risked your life to save mine before" he reminded her.
"That's different, I did it cause you're my father. But why should I do something to stop a demon from terrorizing this world, a world that's done nothing but screw over since I was born, hell since before I was born? Besides, you promised me, multiple times that I would never have to go back there."
"I know I did. But sweetie I didn't know this would happen. Its not like I want you to go, believe me if there was another way, I'd do it in a second."
"You always find other ways of doing things. I am sure you can now. Besides that time when I was eight was only the first time. I spent five years, right up until I came back trying to beat him and I couldn't. What makes you think I'll be so successful now?"
"No, I can't. I am so sorry but I don't think there is another way. Someone that knows that place is needed to go. Wesley, Giles and the others, they're looking into ways to get in. They're pretty sure they'll find something. And the difference this time Sarai is that I'll be with you."
Sarai wasn't sure whether or not she was hurt or pissed at this point. "Oh sure, now you can find a way in. Where was the magic way when I was there, huh? And I especially love how this is to take me back there, I didn't see you using it to get me out! I am able to take care of myself now, I don't need anyone protecting me, saving me, where were you when I was five and tied to trees?! Nice timing, really."
"Sarai I promise you, I did everything I could at the time to get you back, I did."
"The same way you promised I'd never have to go back? She questioned. Angel didn't answer, he didn't know how to answer. "I just don't know how many more lies I can take."
"What? Angel asked, hardly able to speak.
"When I was kid, I didn't believe him...Holtz. The stories he'd tell me about you, that you were a selfish, evil, bastard who really didn't give a damn about me and was glad to get rid of me. I didn't believe him, I just had this feeling he was lying, I don't know why or how, but I did. So I waited, for years I waited. I thought you'd come and get me, but you never did. When I was really younger sometimes I'd even call out to you, the person I was being trained to hate, needless to say Holtz didn't like that. Boy did he-" Sarai paused for a moment all the childhood memories she'd work so hard to push away were coming to her. Sarai didn't want to go into detail, she didn't even mean to say some of what she already said.. She took a deep breath, snorted then continued "lets just say I preferred the tree tying. Despite the super human strength....whatever." Angel knew exactly what was being hinted at and suddenly felt the urge to dig up Holtz's corpse and mutilate it. Before he could say anything, she started to speak again. "Then one day I realized you really weren't coming for me, no matter how much I wished it. So, I gave in, believed all the stories I think I was about eight when this happened; eight was a big year for me. Anyway I didn't like you at all, you but you already knew that. But then I came back and realized that the lies I believed were infact just that; lies. Your weren't what he said. So then you tell me how you tell me I'd never have to leave here and go back....and now your saying I do. I never believed anything as much as I believed you all the times you told me that. Hell, I've believed everything you've ever told me more then I've believed anything else. Some mistake that was."
Angel could almost feel his heart breaking. "Princess..."
"Don't call me that. I am not your princess anymore." she requested sharply. Sarai was mad and hurt. She knew deep down that Angel wasn't intentionally hurting her and that he really did want her to go anymore then she did. But on the surface she wanted to hurt him be hurting as much as she was. And it was working.
"Sarai, look..."
"SHUT UP!." she cut in. "Don't try to rationalize this. Unless you're gonna tell me you changed your mind and you don't think I should go, then I don't care what you have to say. I just can't listen to anymore. GET OUT!" she yelled.
He knew Sarai wouldn't take this well, but he had no idea it would be this bad. Even when she first came back to him she didn't look this upset. He also didn't know just how much she'd been holding inside of her for so long and more importantly he couldn't believe how he never realized she was. Angel thought the best thing to do was to respect her wishes and leave. "Ok" he said gentle as he headed towards the door. That just happened to be the opposite of what Sarai actually wanted. She wanted him to tell her that he wasn't going to leave and she wanted him to stay with her and tell her that this demon or whatever didn't matter. She decided to throw one final shot at him.
"Angel..." she said as he put his had on the doorknob. He turned around to face her "...I hate you" she finished, nearly killing Angel with her words. He turned around and walked out of the room speechless. All of the Angel's team, minus Spike and all of the scoobies were in his living room, they heard pretty much everything. Angel didn't even acknowledge them, any of them. Instead he just walked out in to the hall.
Right outside his door Spike was sitting the floor smoking because no one would let him smoke in the penthouse. Spikes cigaret was suddenly taken out his hand. When he looked up he saw Angel holding it, then he saw Angel lean against the wall and slide down to the floor where he was. Angel started smoke Spike's cigaret and since Spike too had over heard (maybe more then the others did) the conversation he just had with Sarai so he didn't protest, instead he took another one out of his jacket for himself.
"Cigarets are like blood, you never loose the craving" Spike said trying to break the ice.
"She said she hated me" Angel blurted out.
"Yeah, I know. Kids always say things they don't mean though, I think its like a rule."
"Would you blame her if she did?" Angel asked.
"Is this rhetorical?" Spike answered.
"I am a terrible father." Angel blurted out.
"S'not your fault. You don't control the prophecies and where they take place."
"I don't mean that. I mean all this time I've told myself what a well-adjusted girl she was. I didn't see all the pain she's been holding in."
"One thing I've learned about females, peaches, especially the teenage ones is that if they don't want you to know something, then you won't."
"I didn't want to know Spike. I've been telling myself that the reason why I've never really made Sarai into going into detail about her growing up, her feelings was because I didn't want her to feel pressured or forced. That's bull. The truth is I never wanted to hear it because I didn't want to know because knowing would make me feel worse about it then I already did. Maybe I really just am a selfish, evil, bastard."
"You won't hear any objection from me." Spike said, trying to lighten the mood.
Angel chuckled "I wasn't expecting too."
"You've been given a soddin rotten choice here. Keep your kid from her worst fear or have her save the world."
"I love Sarai, she means everything to me, more then everything infact. But I know I have to make her do it."
"Heroism's a bitch, it really is. Hey, just so ya know I think most would do the same."
"Darla wouldn't" Angel corrected.
"Well no probably not...and why did you mention this?"
"Because its true. Because Darla would put Sarai first..."
"Angel don't" Spike interrupted but it didn't work.
"She would. She'd sacrifice the world for her if she was here. She would've gone to any lengths to open a gate to Quor-Toth, hell she also probably wouldn't have let Wesley leave the hotel with her that night because she wouldn't have trusted anyone with her."
"She trusted you" Spike pointed out.
"What a smart move that was. She gave up her life for Sarai's and then I go and screw up Sarai's life. It should've been me. I should've been the one who had to die for her to be born. Not Darla cause she wouldn't have messed up, not like I have."
"You just said it should've been you, if it had been, would you have died?"
"Yes."
"And if Sarai needed you too, would you die for her now?"
"In a second"
"Well then obviously your not a bad father. Besides Darla was evil. She probably would've been trying to kill the little girl as soon as she was born."
"I don't know about that. Darla and you actually, you've both been in far more control of your demon then I have, the Dru and most other vampires. A little more intouch with your human side." Angel sighed. "Yup, Darla should be here right now"
Before Spike could say anything the penthouse door opened and Cordy came out.
"What?" Angel asked noticing a strange look on her face.
"Angel, I went in Sarai's room to try and talk to her...and..."
"And what?"
"She wasn't there. Her window was open, I think she climbed down the side of the building or something. Angel, Sarai's run away."
Angels eyes widened.
TBC
A/N: So how was this chapter? I know it was heavier then the others, but it had to be done. The next one will be lighter, unless of course you guys like the drama, please let me know in the reviews. What will happen in the next chapter? Where has Sarai run off to? Who will be the one to find her? And who'll be going to Quor-Toth? Wait and see. I'll try to have the next chapter up soon. Until then, review away.
Broken Promises
A/N: Thank you to those who reviewed, keep em' coming
A/N2: I've tried to keep this story as light-hearted as I can but this chapter I needed more drama/angst/darkness, its just something I felt was necessary for the story, but the entire story isn't going to be like this from here on. Basically just this chapter. Butits good though...I should know, I wrote it(lol) I thought I should warn you though.
Sarai laughed uncomfortably at Giles statement, "you have fun with that. Try not to get slaughtered as soon as you enter. Send me a postcard, ya know if they existed there." she said.
"Well, obviously you'll have to go aswell." Giles responded.
"Ok, even if I had to listen to you, which I don't I couldn't go. Neither can you or anyone else. Do you have any idea how friggin' hard it is to get back? And there in the first place, actually. And then there's that little fact that most humans get killed as soon as they enter that place." Sarai argued.
"And then there's the simple fact that its just not gonna happen" Angel added.
"There's that too" Sarai agreed.
"Look" Giles started to say "I understand...."
"You understand nothing" Sarai cut in."I won't do it. I won't!" Sarai exclaimed storming out of the room.
"Did I miss something?" Xander asked, "Whats a Quor-Toth?"
Before anyone could answer the private elevator 'dinged' and opened "Hey Angel have you seen Sar-" Dawn started to say exiting the elevator(along with Faith) and entering the office "Ah hey guys" she added at the site of Buffy and the scoobies.
"Dawn, what are you dong here?" Buffy asked.
"Um...I gave her a shout when I came here last week. We've been hangin', she's been ya know showin' me round the town" Faith said covering for her.
"Its cool Faith, you don't have to lie. Buffy, Sarai and I are friends, good friends, we coincidently go to the same school where we met and ever since I found out she knows Angel, Spike and everyone, well I hang here, like all the time." Dawn confessed.
"Oh." was all Buffy said because she didn't want to make an ass of herself again.
"So, where is she Angel?" Dawn asked.
"Huh? Uh.. I don't know. She left...walked out." he replied half spaced out. He was having trouble wrapping his mind around the fact that there's a chance Sarai's needed to go back to that awful place.
"Whats wrong?" Faith asked, sensing something was up.
"It involves something to do with a Quor-Toth apparently" Xander answered.
"Quor-Toth? What about that place? Is that why she just seemed so pissed?" Gunn asked also joining everyone in the office with Lorne and Fred behind him.
"You saw Sarai?" Wesley questioned.
"Yeah we passed her heading up the stairs, she didn't even say hi, just kept going" Fred answered.
"Ya know what Xander? Why don't we go into another office and I'll explain it." Dawn offered.
"I'll join you" Willow said. The three of them left.
"Alright so what's the deal?" said Gunn.
"You remember the symbols I spoke of in London? Well apparently Sarai said they have something to do with a demon in that Quor-Toth dimension." Giles stated.
"Wow, so let me guess, you want her to go back there and do whatever it is that needs to be done? That's crazy" Gunn replied.
"And also not happening" Angel added.
"It may be the only way. Giles said this demon could be planning an apocalypse." Buffy said.
"I don't care. Besides its not easy to get into, its extremely hard, impossible even. Trust me."Angel replied forcefully. "And then there's that whole time moving faster factor, people aging faster."
"Maybe Willow could help with the getting in. If we can find away around all that stuff and a group of us go, including you, would you even consider talking Sarai into going?" Buffy asked.
"No."
"Angel, I know I am probably the last person who should speak about this right now but they do have a point" Wesley said causing Angel to give him a very nasty look. "All I am saying is that when Cordy was trapped in Pylea, you made Lorne with us because he knows that place. So he could guide..."
"This is not the same" Lorne interrupted. As much as he hated Pylea, he knew from what he heard back when he was researching how to go there of Angel that Pylea was like Disney Land compared to Quor-Toth.
"I know that" Wesley confirmed.
"Angel I love Sarai, you know that. But you know as well as I do that if this was anyone else you'd be saying that she needs..." Cordy started to say but then Angel interrupted.
"This isn't anyone else. You can't ask her to do this and you certainly can't ask me to ask her."
"Can I speak to Angel alone?" Cordy asked everyone. They all left.
"I don't want to hear it" Angel stated.
"You need too. You know she's the best shot at stopping this thing. You have to tell her that..."
"I am not telling her anything. You have idea what you're asking me to do. I can't believe you even are" Angel responded.
"Its not like I want it to happen either."
"Cordelia, you want me go talk to my child into living out her worst nightmare. I can't ok. You have no idea...when Holtz came back a few months ago Sarai was....scared, terrified at the thought of going back there, even after I killed him. I swore to her several times she never would. I can't go back on that. I can't break another promise to her and let her down again."
"You won't be letting her down."
"Yes I would. Besides she just can't go through that. Again. Hasn't she had more then enough already?"
"You're right she's been through more then any fifteen year old..."
"Thats another thing" Angel cut off "she's fifteen! If it wasn't for that place she'd be 27 months old, oblivious to all the dangers in the world. I mean who knows how long she'll have to be in Quor-Toth, by the time she gets back she could be in her thirties! Or hell, since Sarai told me once that the older you get, faster you age there, she could be like 70."
"Maybe Willow could do some sorta wiccan age protection thing."
"Or maybe Sarai could end up dying of old age before she's technically supposed to turn 3. She's already been stripped of her childhood because of someone's vendetta against me, you can't expect me to ask her to risk giving up more of her life."
"It's the only way and you know it. And you know aswell as I do that if someone has to tell, you're the only one who can."
Angel didn't say anything right away. He knew it had to be done, he just wasn't sure if he could do it. "I know" he finally mumbled. 'I need to go speak with her."
Angel went up to the penthouse and walked into Sarai's bedroom. He had to close his eyes for a few moments because it hurt to him much to see the sight that was infront of him . Sarai was sitting in the corner of her bad against her headboard and the wall in a fetal position, and she looked scared. "Did you finally convince those people I am not going anywhere?" she whimpered.
'How the hell am I gonna do this? I can't hurt her like this.' Angel said to himself. He decided to start off light. "I was sort've side tracked when you came in the office before and I didn't get the chance to tell you that I love the new hair." he said.
Sarai smiled a little and lifted her head more to look at him better. "Really?" she asked.
Angel only nodded because he was to busy staring at her. He really wasn't paying much attention to how Sarai looked so he didn't notice it, but he did now. Although everyone always says she looked liked him and her hair shade wasn't that blonde, it was blonde enough to make him notice just how much she looked like Darla. The Angel started thinking about Darla, he promised her no one would ever touch or hurt their child; another broken promise.
Sarai's smile faded when she realized something "you never answered my question" she told him. Angel sat on her bed and looked down at the floor. "Daddy, you did tell them no....right?"
"Look princess, I..."
"Oh my god! You agreed. You want me to go..."
"I don't want you too. But..."
"I don't believe you" Sarai said incredibly hurt. "How could you do this to me? I thought you were on my side."
"This isn't about sides Sarai, but if it was, I am always on your side. This is about doing what's right."
"Right for who? The world? I am not you dad. I am not a hero or a champion or whatever. It may sound selfish but its true, I don't go for all that self-sacrifice for the greater purpose of saving the world."
"You're not selfish. You've risked your life to save mine before" he reminded her.
"That's different, I did it cause you're my father. But why should I do something to stop a demon from terrorizing this world, a world that's done nothing but screw over since I was born, hell since before I was born? Besides, you promised me, multiple times that I would never have to go back there."
"I know I did. But sweetie I didn't know this would happen. Its not like I want you to go, believe me if there was another way, I'd do it in a second."
"You always find other ways of doing things. I am sure you can now. Besides that time when I was eight was only the first time. I spent five years, right up until I came back trying to beat him and I couldn't. What makes you think I'll be so successful now?"
"No, I can't. I am so sorry but I don't think there is another way. Someone that knows that place is needed to go. Wesley, Giles and the others, they're looking into ways to get in. They're pretty sure they'll find something. And the difference this time Sarai is that I'll be with you."
Sarai wasn't sure whether or not she was hurt or pissed at this point. "Oh sure, now you can find a way in. Where was the magic way when I was there, huh? And I especially love how this is to take me back there, I didn't see you using it to get me out! I am able to take care of myself now, I don't need anyone protecting me, saving me, where were you when I was five and tied to trees?! Nice timing, really."
"Sarai I promise you, I did everything I could at the time to get you back, I did."
"The same way you promised I'd never have to go back? She questioned. Angel didn't answer, he didn't know how to answer. "I just don't know how many more lies I can take."
"What? Angel asked, hardly able to speak.
"When I was kid, I didn't believe him...Holtz. The stories he'd tell me about you, that you were a selfish, evil, bastard who really didn't give a damn about me and was glad to get rid of me. I didn't believe him, I just had this feeling he was lying, I don't know why or how, but I did. So I waited, for years I waited. I thought you'd come and get me, but you never did. When I was really younger sometimes I'd even call out to you, the person I was being trained to hate, needless to say Holtz didn't like that. Boy did he-" Sarai paused for a moment all the childhood memories she'd work so hard to push away were coming to her. Sarai didn't want to go into detail, she didn't even mean to say some of what she already said.. She took a deep breath, snorted then continued "lets just say I preferred the tree tying. Despite the super human strength....whatever." Angel knew exactly what was being hinted at and suddenly felt the urge to dig up Holtz's corpse and mutilate it. Before he could say anything, she started to speak again. "Then one day I realized you really weren't coming for me, no matter how much I wished it. So, I gave in, believed all the stories I think I was about eight when this happened; eight was a big year for me. Anyway I didn't like you at all, you but you already knew that. But then I came back and realized that the lies I believed were infact just that; lies. Your weren't what he said. So then you tell me how you tell me I'd never have to leave here and go back....and now your saying I do. I never believed anything as much as I believed you all the times you told me that. Hell, I've believed everything you've ever told me more then I've believed anything else. Some mistake that was."
Angel could almost feel his heart breaking. "Princess..."
"Don't call me that. I am not your princess anymore." she requested sharply. Sarai was mad and hurt. She knew deep down that Angel wasn't intentionally hurting her and that he really did want her to go anymore then she did. But on the surface she wanted to hurt him be hurting as much as she was. And it was working.
"Sarai, look..."
"SHUT UP!." she cut in. "Don't try to rationalize this. Unless you're gonna tell me you changed your mind and you don't think I should go, then I don't care what you have to say. I just can't listen to anymore. GET OUT!" she yelled.
He knew Sarai wouldn't take this well, but he had no idea it would be this bad. Even when she first came back to him she didn't look this upset. He also didn't know just how much she'd been holding inside of her for so long and more importantly he couldn't believe how he never realized she was. Angel thought the best thing to do was to respect her wishes and leave. "Ok" he said gentle as he headed towards the door. That just happened to be the opposite of what Sarai actually wanted. She wanted him to tell her that he wasn't going to leave and she wanted him to stay with her and tell her that this demon or whatever didn't matter. She decided to throw one final shot at him.
"Angel..." she said as he put his had on the doorknob. He turned around to face her "...I hate you" she finished, nearly killing Angel with her words. He turned around and walked out of the room speechless. All of the Angel's team, minus Spike and all of the scoobies were in his living room, they heard pretty much everything. Angel didn't even acknowledge them, any of them. Instead he just walked out in to the hall.
Right outside his door Spike was sitting the floor smoking because no one would let him smoke in the penthouse. Spikes cigaret was suddenly taken out his hand. When he looked up he saw Angel holding it, then he saw Angel lean against the wall and slide down to the floor where he was. Angel started smoke Spike's cigaret and since Spike too had over heard (maybe more then the others did) the conversation he just had with Sarai so he didn't protest, instead he took another one out of his jacket for himself.
"Cigarets are like blood, you never loose the craving" Spike said trying to break the ice.
"She said she hated me" Angel blurted out.
"Yeah, I know. Kids always say things they don't mean though, I think its like a rule."
"Would you blame her if she did?" Angel asked.
"Is this rhetorical?" Spike answered.
"I am a terrible father." Angel blurted out.
"S'not your fault. You don't control the prophecies and where they take place."
"I don't mean that. I mean all this time I've told myself what a well-adjusted girl she was. I didn't see all the pain she's been holding in."
"One thing I've learned about females, peaches, especially the teenage ones is that if they don't want you to know something, then you won't."
"I didn't want to know Spike. I've been telling myself that the reason why I've never really made Sarai into going into detail about her growing up, her feelings was because I didn't want her to feel pressured or forced. That's bull. The truth is I never wanted to hear it because I didn't want to know because knowing would make me feel worse about it then I already did. Maybe I really just am a selfish, evil, bastard."
"You won't hear any objection from me." Spike said, trying to lighten the mood.
Angel chuckled "I wasn't expecting too."
"You've been given a soddin rotten choice here. Keep your kid from her worst fear or have her save the world."
"I love Sarai, she means everything to me, more then everything infact. But I know I have to make her do it."
"Heroism's a bitch, it really is. Hey, just so ya know I think most would do the same."
"Darla wouldn't" Angel corrected.
"Well no probably not...and why did you mention this?"
"Because its true. Because Darla would put Sarai first..."
"Angel don't" Spike interrupted but it didn't work.
"She would. She'd sacrifice the world for her if she was here. She would've gone to any lengths to open a gate to Quor-Toth, hell she also probably wouldn't have let Wesley leave the hotel with her that night because she wouldn't have trusted anyone with her."
"She trusted you" Spike pointed out.
"What a smart move that was. She gave up her life for Sarai's and then I go and screw up Sarai's life. It should've been me. I should've been the one who had to die for her to be born. Not Darla cause she wouldn't have messed up, not like I have."
"You just said it should've been you, if it had been, would you have died?"
"Yes."
"And if Sarai needed you too, would you die for her now?"
"In a second"
"Well then obviously your not a bad father. Besides Darla was evil. She probably would've been trying to kill the little girl as soon as she was born."
"I don't know about that. Darla and you actually, you've both been in far more control of your demon then I have, the Dru and most other vampires. A little more intouch with your human side." Angel sighed. "Yup, Darla should be here right now"
Before Spike could say anything the penthouse door opened and Cordy came out.
"What?" Angel asked noticing a strange look on her face.
"Angel, I went in Sarai's room to try and talk to her...and..."
"And what?"
"She wasn't there. Her window was open, I think she climbed down the side of the building or something. Angel, Sarai's run away."
Angels eyes widened.
TBC
A/N: So how was this chapter? I know it was heavier then the others, but it had to be done. The next one will be lighter, unless of course you guys like the drama, please let me know in the reviews. What will happen in the next chapter? Where has Sarai run off to? Who will be the one to find her? And who'll be going to Quor-Toth? Wait and see. I'll try to have the next chapter up soon. Until then, review away.