Total Drama All-Stars Rewritten: Episode 30
RATED TV-14
This episode contains material that may be inappropriate for viewers under the age of 14. Viewer discretion is advised.
Aftermath V
(Recap)
Jasmine: What?! How?! But we all voted for Mal!
Sky: (shocked) What?! Me? Why me?
Brick: What? (Mal grins evilly)
Chris: No hard feelings bro. You played an awesome game. DISMISSED! (Brick tries to smile but is bummed)
Chris: Mike, sorry dude. The dock of shame awaits.
Mike: (sighs) Okay. Good luck in the finale guys!
(Theme song)
Dear mom and dad, I'm doing fine
You guys are on my mind
You asked me what I wanted to be, now I think the answer is plain to see
I wanna be famous!
I wanna live close to the sun
Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won
Everything to prove nothing in my way
I'll get there one day
'Cause I wanna be famous!
Na, na, na-na-na-na, na-na-na, na, na-na-na-na
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!
(Whistling)
(Aftermath theme song)
(In the Total Drama Aftermath studio, Geoff, Bridgette and Blaineley are seated center stage with the peanut gallery on each side of the stage. The crowd cheers for everyone)
Geoff: Yo everyone! Welcome back to the Total Drama All-Stars aftermath show!
Bridgette: The last one of the season before the big finale!
Blaineley: That's right! Hoo boy, I can't wait to see that million dollar showdown!
Geoff: Hell yeah! Geoff here!
Bridgette: I'm Bridgette!
Blaineley: And I'm Blaineley!
Geoff: We got a whole lot of drama to dish out on tonight's show! But first, they need a little recognition. Give it up for…the Total Drama peanut gallery! From all 3 generations! (Most of the guests in the peanut gallery wave to the audience. Others just sit there and pout because they lost)
Bridgette: I'm so glad to have my handsome surfing party god back to co-host with me!
Geoff: Ditto to you babe! I'm so stoked to be back in the place I love!
Blaineley: What about me Bridge? Didn't you enjoy having me be your co-host?
Bridgette: I guess, you weren't all bad. You get a pass. For now. (Blaineley smiles)
Blaineley: So, the drama hasn't stopped since we last saw you!
Bridgette: Not in the slightest! Chef's boot camp, making a sundae while being attacked by…mutant things…
Geoff: The animal hunting, and Chris's scavenger hunt!
Blaineley: And let's not forget, the triple dog dare challenge!
Bridgette: Wow! I don't think I would have made it through any of those! Nope!
Blaineley: Me neither! I might have experience with cardio and combat fighting, but I wouldn't go that extreme with Chef breathing down my neck!
Geoff: I hear that! Me and Bridge lived it first season! Now to kick off the show tonight, it's time to welcome our first group of guests who got booted out of the game! Check it out! (the monitor plays footage of Jasmine and Sky)
Bridgette: Sky and Jasmine were strong contenders for the money this season, after they both made it to the top 4 last season.
Blaineley: Each girl boasting some pretty sick moves!
Geoff: That's right Blaineley! Sky found herself a new battle buddy in Brick, who will be on soon!
(Dave glares in jealousy)
Bridgette: Sky may have been screwed over by Mal, but at least she went home with a smile! And with her dignity intact!
Blaineley: Our guests are fluent in Cree, is a butt-kicking Aussie, came in 2nd in hurdles, and wants to open a flower shop and cage fighting school…
Bridgette: Welcome…Jasmine and Sky! (the audience cheers for the girls as they enter the stage. Dave is glaring at Sky in jealousy)
Jasmine: G'day mates!
Sky: Hi guys! So great to see you!
Zoey: Sky!
Sky: Zoey! (they hug)
Bridgette: Hi! So glad you could be on the show with us!
Geoff: Welcome! Brutal about what happened to you guys.
Sky: It's okay.
Jasmine: Yeah. We're fine. G'day Shawn!
Shawn: Hey Jasmine! Man, I missed you.
Jasmine: I missed you too mate!
Sky: (to Dave/shy) Uh, hi Dave. How have you been? (Dave gives her the cold shoulder)
Blaineley: Ouch. Looks like the poor guy is jealous that he can't live up to a girl like you, not like a certain soldier we know! (giggles)
Bridgette: Easy Blaineley. They had it rough enough last season! No need to encourage it!
Geoff: Yeah! Besides, that would cut into the segment! Which is getting the truth from our guests! I think it's time for a little bit of Truth or hammer!
Sky: Hammer?
Jasmine: What?!
Geoff: It's simple. We ask you a question and if you fib, a great big hammer will knock you into the middle of next week! (laughs)
Sky: Or, it can try to.
Jasmine: Good point. My reflexes are as sharp as a tack!
Blaineley: I think Sky should be first in the hot seat. We've got a lot to talk about with our little athlete friend here.
Sky: Fine. Lay 'em on me.
Blaineley: So, Sky. Last season, your relationship with Dave turned out to be a total disaster. This season, you were making googly eyes at Brick the whole time! What made you want to date him? (Dave is getting more and more agitated, making Sky nervous)
Sky: Hold on! Let's not get too crazy here! Dave was just distracting me from the game last season. He's a nice guy, he is. But he kind of wasn't giving me enough space when I needed it. Oh, and not to mention, Chris was being such a (censored) about it. He kept sticking his nose in when it wasn't wanted!
Dave: It was all because I liked you! And what did you do?! You ripped my heart out and stepped on it! With another guy!
Sky: Dave, please understand! We talked about this! I said I liked you but! And you didn't want to hear the but. You were being impatient and you drove me away with your simping! Look, you're a nice guy and I still like you, I do! But you gotta get yourself straightened out.
Dave: (trying not to cry) I can't believe this.
Ella: I still like you, Prince David! If Sky isn't an option, you have me!
Dave: Not in a million years. Sheesh, I'm glad my parents didn't raise me to dress like a weirdo. (he glares at Ella and Leonard)
Bridgette: Uh, okay! Geoff and I will take it from here. Sky, what made you want to change your stance on the game this season?
Sky: I mean, I still wanted to stay focused on the game so I could play it to the fullest. Win or lose. I gave it 100% effort and I'm proud of myself for it. And having Brick as my battle buddy made it all worth while.
Dave: (angry) Of course it did! Because he's a big, strong buff dude! BIG (censored) WHOOP!
Sky: Dave, please!
(Ella comforts Dave)
Ella: There there, prince David. Perhaps a song can soothe your saddened heart.
Dave: Don't even think about it, Snow White.
Eva: (to Ella) What wacked out world did you escape from?
Noah: Seriously. (sarcastic) You and Merlin over there are pretty much the only ones here dressed like 35-year-old virgins hanging out at Comic Con.
Everyone: OOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Leonard: My spells are real! It's just people don't believe in me!
Noah: (sarcastic) Gee, I wonder why?
Leshawna: You got a way with words, string bean!
Owen: That's my little buddy!
Alejandro: I'm most impressed.
Sky: Uh…anyway! I found Brick to be a great friend and teammate, and he and I helped each other move forward, even when the going got tough! (the audience cheers, and Dave is jealous)
Dave: How is that not a lie?! Ugh! What kind of show is this?!
Sky: (upset) Okay, this whole jealousy thing you're doing is getting out of control! Calm down! I didn't mean any harm! You saw what I said about you! I wished you well!
Dave: You expect me to believe that can of lies?!
Bridgette: Okay guys, that's enough! Dave, watch your attitude!
Dave: Hmph! (pouts)
Sugar: Aww, Sky is such a cheater for doing that to poor Dave! She be like goth girl from season 3!
Gwen: (stern) Don't go there.
Blaineley: So, I think Sky and her new boy toy are fan favorites after their action-packed adventure on the show! Check it out! (the monitor plays footage of Brick and Sky moments together. Sky is blushing over Brick! It shows them kissing! Dave's eye is twitching in jealousy! Ella is rubbing his back in comfort)
Max: Simp.
Dave: Hey!
Gwen: Kind of like someone I know. (looks over at Cody)
Cody: What?
Sky: Can we move on from this, before something goes too far?
Bridgette: Sure! On to Jasmine!
Geoff: So, Jasmine. You and Shawn were picking up where you left off last season. But when Shawn was booted off the show, you had to dig deep and carry on without him! What was it like for you?
Jasmine: I think you know the answer to that. You were in the game with me.
Geoff: I know. Just go along with it. For the sake of the show.
Jasmine: Fine. I didn't win the money last season, but Shawn and I did split it when he won. I'm still in the process of opening my flower shop and cage fighting school! I figured another million would have been very handy to finish the job.
Bridgette: Flower shop and cage fighting school! Awesome! Sign me up!
Blaineley: Same here! I need to get back into combat shape again!
Jasmine: Sure! So when Shawn was eliminated, I missed him. Very much. But I knew he would have wanted me to keep playing the game. Especially with that evil Mal on the loose.
Zoey: Sorry you got screwed over by him. I saw that Mike is back in control again! That makes me so happy!
Geoff: That's right Zoey! Mike will join us soon! Right now, it's time to view our webcams!
(the webcam shows Sky's sister Jane)
Sky: Jane! Hi!
Jane: Hi Sky! I'm so proud of you for making it so far again!
Sky: Thanks! I didn't want to let our family down!
Jane: That's my sister! Never surrender or show weakness!
Sky: Tell the family I miss them so much! And I'll be home soon!
Jane: Will do! Bye!
Sky: Bye! (the call ends)
Lightning: Gotta respect you tiny girl! If it's one thing Lightning admires and respects, it's winning and championship status!
Sky: Really? Thanks Lightning! I respect your skills too!
Dave: (angry) Oh joy! She found another jock to make nice with and to make me look like a scrub! Ugh!
Cameron: I mean, she does like athletic types, her being an athletic type herself.
Izzy: Birds of a feather flock together.
Dave: Ugh!
Blaineley: Can I just say, I'm loving all the gossip going on about Sky and Dave!
Bridgette: Well, it's getting out of hand now! Let's move on!
Rodney: Can I join Jasmine's cage fighting school? I could learn how to wrestle the pigs who keep escaping the farm.
Scott: Try hog tying them with a lasso! It's not hard!
Sugar: Nah, you'd never last on my farm!
Scott: Big talk coming from the bimbo who was the first one out this year.
Sugar: At least I ain't afraid of a giant fish with feet.
Scott: Shut up, fatso!
Bridgette: MOVING ON!
Blaineley: What?! They're getting good! Too bad I'm almost out of popcorn.
Geoff: You can enjoy your little gossip drama another time. Right now, it's time we take a short break. We'll be right back with more TOTAL! DRAMA! AFTERMATH!
(Commercial break)
Bridgette: Welcome back! It's almost time for us to introduce our final guests of the night! But first, take a peek!
Geoff: Despite not qualifying for the merge in Revenge of the Island, Brick received a lot of fan votes to compete in Total Drama All-Stars.
Bridgette: And he impressed us all with his drive to win, looking out for his friends, and never backing down from anything!
Jo: Wuss.
Sky: Hey! Back off, coach!
(Dave watches the footage of Brick in complete jealousy)
Geoff: And then there's the man of multiples, Mike! Or Mal!
Bridgette: Having a rare case of DID, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Mike has been through a lot. Being blackmailed by Scott in season 4, being hijacked by his evil persona, and getting the mother of all beatings by Zoey!
Zoey: It was either him or me.
Geoff: Yeah! It was awesome! Our final guests got promoted from Private to Sergeant, gave a necklace to his girl, is afraid of the dark, and spent time in juvie with Duncan, give it up for…Brick and Mike! (the audience cheers as they take the stage. Dave glares at Brick)
Mike: Hi everyone!
Brick: (salutes) Greetings! Sergeant Brick McArthur reporting for duty! (Geoff, Bridgette and Blaineley salute him)
Zoey: MIKE! (she runs into Mike's arms and they kiss passionately!)
Audience: Awwww!
Mike: Zoey! It's me! Mike! The same Mike who got you the necklace! And Mal is gone!
Zoey: I know! I was watching here on the Aftermath.
Cameron: Great to have you back Mike!
Mike: Thanks Cam!
Bridgette: Awesome to have you guys on the show! Here, take a seat. (Brick sits next to Sky. Sky blushes and Dave glares)
Blaineley: So, Brick. You and Sky, huh? Care to share more on that story?
Bridgette: Easy, Blaineley. Don't push anything!
Blaineley: You know what I'm here for! The gossip! Go ahead Brick.
Brick: Well, I am honored to have such a good friend in Sky. She is what kept me going even when things got dire. We make a great team.
Dave: (jealous) So, stolen any girlfriends lately?
Brick: I assure you good man, I did not steal anyone.
Sky: See Dave? You and I weren't a thing when Brick and I started dating!
Duncan: (groans) It's the love triangle all over again.
Blaineley: I know right?
Geoff: Let's not go there, okay dudes? Let's all just chill out!
Bridgette: So Brick, I hear you got promoted to Sergeant in your platoon! Congratulations!
Brick: (salutes) Thank you ma'am. It takes a lot of hard work and dedication to be awarded such an honor and privilege.
Bridgette: I bet! And we thank you for your service!
Dave: You still stole my girl! You…you…thief!
Blaineley: You know, I think it's time to show why Sky chose Brick over poor Dave over here. Shall we? (the monitor plays Brick's highlights from the season and from season 4. He is leading his team and excelling in the challenges. It shows Sky blushing and making googly eyes at him. Then it shows Dave's worst moments of him crying and obsessing over Sky, and Sky rolling her eyes)
Harold: Even I wasn't like that with Leshawna.
Justin: Just embarrassing.
Sierra: There just wasn't enough Skave love on my fan site! But they love Sky with Brick! Sorry Dave. There's still some love for you and Ella!
Dave: UGHHHHHHHH! I can't take it anymore!
Bridgette: Okay, enough! Let's move on from all this before someone loses their mind! Please?
Geoff: Yeah! This is getting way too heavy dudes!
Anne Maria: So with Mike back, does that mean my Vito is back too?
Zoey: Nice try Anne Maria, but Mike is my boyfriend. And all his personalities that come with him.
Anne Maria: Hmph! Whatever!
Mike: That's true, I did get to keep my personalities after I got rid of Mal!
Geoff: Why don't we show it on the monitor? Here's a highlight reel of the many personalities of Mike! (the monitor shows Chester, Svetlana, Vito, Manitoba, and even Mal at their best!)
Zoey: That Mal was one bad bastard.
Mike: Yeah, he was.
Zoey: Duncan, what was it you said about him?
Duncan: Oh yeah, he was a BAD motherf-(censored).
Katie: I wouldn't want to see him in a dark alley!
Sadie: Me neither!
DJ: That guy gives me the heeby jeebies!
Geoff: So, Mike! How were you able to get rid of Mal and regain control of yourself?
Mike: It wasn't easy. Me and my personalities had to free one another and make it all the way to Mal's HQ, beat him in battle, and then he was gone.
Owen: Wow…sounds kinda similar to Spider-man 3!
Geoff: Or maybe like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde!
Mike: Kind of, but my personalities don't require a potion to bring to life. (he and Zoey laugh)
Cameron: His personalities have certain triggers.
Mike: That's right.
Blaineley: (to Mike) How did you feel to be booted from the show so close to the finale? You had victory in your grasp, and it just slipped away!
Mike: Meh, it was no big deal. Besides, the dare I had to do was tough! And I cared about Zoey more. (Just when Blaineley thinks the hammer will hit him, it doesn't) Blaineley: Oh come on! Where's that hammer? It was a million dollars!
Mike: Meh. Money isn't everything. Relationships are worth more.
Zoey: Awww! (they kiss)
Geoff: And now, it's time for my most favorite segment of all! And since it's the final aftermath, it should go out with a bang! It's time for…THAT'S GONNA LEAVE A MARK! (the monitor shows the fails and bloopers from the last few episodes! Lindsay getting stung and bitten by fire ants, Mal getting beaten up by Zoey, Mal getting bitten by leeches, Sky landing on her butt from a fall, and Chef getting hit by a yeti)
Blaineley: (laughing) I don't even remember that!
Geoff: Now THAT'S GONNA LEAVE A MARK!
Bridgette: Since we're only 1 episode away from the dramatic conclusion to the season, we figured we should give you guys a sneak peak!
Geoff: A preview heading into the final challenge! Let's take a detailed look at what our 2 finalists bring to the fight!
Bridgette: First up, Lindsay!
Geoff: After placing 9th, 6th, and 14th in seasons 1 through 3, Lindsay was going to make sure no one could ever doubt her again this season!
Bridgette: A massive underdog when compared to some of the other mighty contenders she had to scratch and claw past to reach the finale.
Blaineley: She might lack a lot of brawn against Courtney, but don't count her out just yet!
Geoff: Because Lindsay has shown us all that she is smarter than what we've given her credit for!
Bridgette: Despite having trouble remembering people's names, Lindsay has outplayed and outsmarted Courtney multiple times in season 2 alone! She's a massive wildcard!
Blaineley: A wildcard indeed!
Geoff: Next up, Courtney!
Blaineley: Courtney has placed high in seasons 2 and 3, but got robbed of the million because of a few unfortunate events that took place along the way.
Bridgette: Courtney has been through a lot! From rekindling her friendships with Duncan and Gwen, to now finding new love with Scott, Courtney has rounded up a circle of friends to have in her cheering section!
Geoff: Courtney is ecstatic to be in the final 2 after 5 long seasons! And she's got the advantage in brains and brawn over Lindsay!
Bridgette: Wow, this is gonna be a real close race as we head into the finals! Let's see what could potentially stop our 2 finalists from achieving their goals!
Geoff: Lindsay is prone to being absent minded, despite having the biggest heart of all. Her strength and brains are far behind Courtney's! So if the final challenge is a quiz game or a physical battle, she might not make it!
Bridgette: As for Courtney, she has been shown to be lactose intolerant, and has a case of a bad attitude. She's all about winning the money so she can go to law school and become a lawyer.
Geoff: And to top it all off, these femme fatales are long time rivals!
Bridgette: With their feud starting as early as Total Drama Action, Lindsay and Courtney are ready to charge full speed at one another and see who can prevail!
Blaineley: And now, here's where it gets interesting! Using your cell phones, it's time for you to vote for your favorite finalist! Peanut gallery, you'll get to participate as well! (everyone votes for the finalists, and they show that Lindsay has slightly more votes than Courtney, with 54% for Lindsay and 46% for Courtney!)
Bridgette: And it looks like the gang has spoken!
Geoff: Looks like more of you want Lindsay to win! Nice choices I might add!
Beth: Of course I'm voting Lindsay! She's my bestie!
Sammy: Me too!
Tyler: Go Lindsay!
Gwen: I think it's obvious who I'm backing.
Duncan: Same.
Geoff: Sweet! And that's all for tonight!
Bridgette: How will Courtney and Lindsay set aside their differences in the final challenge?
Blaineley: Will they end their lengthy rivalry? Or will it live on?
Geoff: Who will become a millionaire and who will tank?
Bridgette: Find out in the first ever girl vs. girl season finale in Total Drama history!
Geoff: And we'll all be there to watch!
Blaineley: So we'll see you all there, in the big bad finale!
All 3: On TOTAL! DRAMA! ALL-STARS! (the audience cheers)
Bridgette: Goodnight!
Geoff: You've all been a great audience! Ciao dudes!
Blaineley: Goodnight! (the lights dim and the curtain closes)
(Credits)