Chapter 10: Making Progress

One Week Later

7:32pm

Jack sat in a wheelchair anxiously awaiting Kate's arrival. He knew he shouldn't worry, but she was late. Yes, he knew it was the day before Thanksgiving, one of the busiest travel days of the years. And yes, it was raining, so flights were delayed and traffic was gridlock as far as the eye could see. He was sure she was fine, but he couldn't help but worry about her. His nurse wanted to help him back into bed almost a half hour ago, but he insisted that he wasn't at all tired and wanted to sit up longer. Truthfully, he was exhausted from yet another grueling day of physical therapy and desperately wanted to lie down. Instead he sat next to the window where he could see the rain sheeting down. From his 12th floor vantage point he could see an endless stream of red tail lights, looking blurry through the rain streaked window, as people made their way out of the city for the long, holiday weekend. He tried to read, but every time he heard a sound in the hall he thought it was Kate and he looked up.

Jack had spent the week missing Kate and trying to figure out how he was going to win her back. Last Wednesday, the day Kate went back to Seattle, was an emotional roller coaster for Jack. He was stunned when Kate told him she was pregnant. He wasn't sure how it had happened since he thought she was taking birth control pills. Not that he was thinking much about birth control as he virtually attacked her that night. He was still embarrassed by his behavior. He wasn't sorry about the result though; he was thrilled about the baby. And despite Kate's seeming lack of interest in resuming their relationship, she appeared to be happy about it as well.

Once he knew she was pregnant, he was sure she would want him back. Pretty egotistical of me, he thought. He was not ready for her to say she didn't want to restart their relationship. Despite being 40 years old and devilishly handsome, he really didn't have a lot of experience with women. He and Teri had been very young when they married and, until his affair with Nina while he and Teri were separated, he had always been faithful to her. When Teri asked him to leave he was devastated. He knew their marriage had problems, he knew his mission to Kosovo had left him more distant than ever, but it never occurred to him that she might ask him to leave. He was reeling from the shock when he fell into Nina's trap. She was beautiful and sensual and she was there when he needed someone. After a couple of months he knew the affair was wrong and he broke it off. Then he went about winning Teri back and it worked. There was Claudia, but as much as he hated to admit it, she was merely a diversion; a way to try and forget about Kate. He cared for Claudia, but he certainly never loved her. Now he would have to win Kate back the same way he did Teri. As Kate said last week, he never ran away from a fight. He certainly wasn't running away from this one. This was one of the most important fights of his life.

He spent that whole next night, lying flat on his back considering what he had to do next. He thought about their two and a half years together and realized that Kate was right. He had always put CTU first. She was patient for a while, but his lack of attention had worn thin. He was forever breaking dates or forgetting that they planned a weekend in Newport Beach or were going skiing in Colorado. Even when they went on vacation, he had to call work at least once a day, as if they couldn't survive without him. No wonder she was reluctant to try again.

Jack spent hours thinking about his years at CTU. They had been exciting and dangerous, everything that he loved. He knew, though, that they had taken a toll on him both emotionally and physically. No one would ever be able to convince him that Teri's death was not a direct result of his job. And look what he had put Kim through. He had had numerous brushes with death, but this time, it came close enough to really scare him, to really make him think twice about going back. As it was, his doctors felt he would only regain partial use of his legs. They were confident that he would eventually walk unassisted or with minimal assistance, such as a cane, but would never return to what he considered normal. At this point, he was grateful for even that.

He had gone into physical therapy with the same energy that he used for everything else. The therapists were amazed at how hard he could push himself and how much he expected of himself. They weren't sure if that was good or bad, but in the end he was making great progress. He couldn't wait to show Kate. That was why he refused to go to bed. He wanted her to see him sitting up. He looked healthier that way, he felt more confident and less vulnerable. He just wished he knew when she would be here.

Just about then, his nursed poked her head in the partially open door. "Mr. Bauer, how about if I help you back into bed now. This is the longest you've been out of bed at one stretch. You have to be tired."

He started to shake his head in protest when he heard a voice from behind the nurse. "I think he might be waiting up for me." Kate said.

There was no way Jack could control the smile that erupted on his face. "Kate," he whispered thankful that she had arrived safely and so excited to see her.

The nurse smiled and stepped away so Kate could enter the room. As she did, Jack reached out both hands and took her hands in his. "I missed you so much, Kate. You look wonderful." This was the first time he had seen anything but her face. The pregnancy suited her. Her normally flat stomach was gently curved, her hips and breasts full. Some women just look good pregnant and Kate was one of them. "Let me show you my new trick." He said like a child who had just learned to ride a two-wheeled bicycle. He reached for the walker next to the window and put it in front of him. Then he slowly, painstakingly began to stand up. Kate could tell this was taking every bit of his concentration and energy. He was finally standing straight up, leaning on the walker for support.

"That's incredible, Jack. I can't believe how much progress you've made in the last week." She rested her hands on top of his and he took the opportunity to lean forward and kiss her. It was a soft, gentle kiss, more than a kiss between friends, but not the kiss shared by lovers. It was a start.

Kate sat on a chair pulled close to him. She thanked him for sending her flowers and a box of her favorite chocolates. Her office staff had teased her mercilessly about her secret admirer. Only Grace, her secretary knew who sent them.

Grace was probably in her late 50s and reminded Kate very much of her mother. She had a kind face and was always in good humor even when she was having a bad day. She was forever asking Kate how she felt and making sure that she was taking care of herself. On days when Kate had a doctor's appointment, Grace would remind her three times. Grace had been widowed when she was 32 when her husband was killed in a car accident. She was left to raise their three small children.

Kate had quickly grown attached to Grace and, shortly after arriving in Seattle, had opened up to her about her relationship with Jack. When the flowers arrived on Monday, both Kate and Grace had assumed they were from Kate's father, who sent his daughter flowers pretty regularly. Kate was busy reading a contract when Grace brought the flowers into her office and began to remove the tissue paper from the flowers and vase. "Your father doesn't usually send you red roses." She commented as she handed Kate the card and set the vase full of long stemmed red roses and baby's breath on Kate's desk. "Somebody has an admirer." She said with an elfish grin. She knew full well who the roses were from.

The next day, the candy arrived. Again she teased Kate about the gift. "First roses, now candy, pretty romantic! If you don't take him back, Kate, I might call him and see if he's interested in me." Her message was subtle but crystal clear to Kate. "You know, Kate, it's hard to be a single mother." Grace had told her numerous times. "I didn't have a choice but you do." Kate sighed. When she left for LA the day Jack was shot, she was terrified that he was going to die. Now that he was alive and getting well, she didn't know how to react. She felt guilty about not taking him back into her life, but she was so afraid that she would just get hurt again. Their breakup had hurt her more than she could have ever imagined. She hated to admit it, but she wondered if her refusal to tell Jack about the baby and now, her reluctance to resume their relationship wasn't her way of paying him back for hurting her. She knew it was childish, but emotions rarely relied on grown up reasoning.

Jack and Kate spent the next hour talking quietly, discussing nothing of great consequence. He noticed that she repeatedly stretched and reached back to massage the small of her back. She was obviously tired. "Sweetheart, you should go back to your father's house and get some rest. But before you go there's something I'd like to show you." He reached to his bedside table and retrieved a single sheet of white paper and handed it to her.

"What's this?" she asked.

"Just read it. It's self explanatory." He watched as Kate's eyes slowly moved across the page. She stopped at the bottom of the page, blinked her eyes back to the top and read it again.

She shook her head as if she didn't quite comprehend. "I don't understand. This is your resignation from CTU."

"That's right. Brad Hammond came to see me today. I gave him a copy while he was here."

"Jack, why would you leave CTU? Just last week you told me you loved that job, now you're resigning. I don't understand." Kate looked bewildered.

"I spent the last week thinking about it, Kate. You were right. CTU had come between me and everyone who has ever been important in my life. It was killing me a little more every year, both emotionally and physically. It's time to move on. I thought you'd be happy about this."

"Jack, I never asked you to do this." Kate said indignantly. "I hope you didn't do this because you thought it was what I wanted."

"I know you didn't ask me to resign, Sweetheart." He said gently, not sure why Kate was getting upset. "I resigned because I thought it out and decided it was the right thing to do. Regardless of our relationship, I want to be here, to be a father to this baby." He rested his hand lightly on her abdomen. "With CTU out of the picture, I can do that. I can be the father that I never was to Kim."

"Do you have any idea what you are going to do; where you are going to work?" She asked. "I don't want you to blame me if you aren't happy about this in a few months." The irritation in her voice was clear.

"Kate, I would never blame you for a decision that I made." He said curtly. "And yes, I have thought about what I'm going to do. This wasn't a hasty decision. I've spent a lot of time making it." He was clearly frustrated with Kate's response. He fully expected her to be happy about his severing ties with CTU. "I don't get it, Kate. Why are you so upset?"

Kate put her head in her hands. "I don't know." She said. "I guess I'm tired and this came as a complete surprise." She shook her head to indicate that she couldn't explain her feelings.

"I'm sorry I brought it up now. It could have waited. It's just that I thought you would be happy about it." Kate's head still rested in her hands. "Are you going to be okay to drive back to your dad's, Sweetheart?" Jack asked as he reached for her hand.

Kate nodded silently, afraid that her feelings were so tenuous at this moment that she would begin to cry if she tried to talk. She reached down and picked up her bag from the floor as she readied herself to leave, then she leaned forward to give Jack a goodbye kiss. She meant for it to be a friendly kiss, like the one he had given her when she came into the room but as their lips met she wanted more. Kate knew the kiss was longer and firmer than she had intended; she couldn't help herself. Feeling the intensity of her kiss, Jack put his hand behind her head and pulled her closer. She responded by parting her lips slightly to allow his tongue to slip briefly into her mouth.

As Kate stood to leave, they both seemed surprised and confused by what had just happened. She stopped and looked back at him when she reached the door as if she was going to say something but then thought better of it and turned to go.

"You're going to be back tomorrow, aren't you?" Jack asked concerned that he had really upset her.

"Yeah, uh, yeah" she stammered. "I'll be here early. Kim and Chase and some of the guys from CTU are going to come by in the afternoon to watch football with you. I think Tony and Michelle and my dad are coming, too. That way you'll have some company all day."

"That's fine, Sweetheart, get some rest. If you are too tired to stop by in the morning, I'll understand, Kate. Really, I will. I want you to take care of yourself."

Kate walked quickly to her rental car. Her vision blurred as her eyes brimmed with tears. She had to force herself to concentrate on the road and not think of Jack as she drove to her father's house.

9:40pm

As she opened the kitchen door with her key, her father stood up from his perch on a bar stool at a kitchen counter. The newspaper was spread across the counter in front of him and she could smell coffee brewing. "Hey, Honey" he said as he smiled at her. He crossed the huge kitchen to give his daughter a hug and kiss. "I have decaf brewing for you. I thought you might like some. How was your trip?"

She smiled at him. She was so lucky to have Bob Warner as a father. He was always there for her just when she needed him the most. As she looked at him though, she couldn't help but see how tired and worn he looked. Since that terrible day three and a half years ago when the nuclear bomb was smuggled into the US with the help of Kate's sister, Marie, Bob had seemed to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders. Marie now sat in a federal prison about two hours north of LA. She had been sentenced to death and was currently refusing any appeals. Marcus Youngwood felt that her sentence could possibly be reduced to life in prison without the possibility of parole if only she would let him appeal. They needed to do it soon though, Marie was hardly a model prisoner. She was constantly stirring up the other prisoners on her cell block and creating problems. Because of this, she had racked up a lot of time in solitary confinement. As bad as her record was becoming, soon she would not be able to garner any sympathy from a jury. Bob went to see her faithfully every month. She broke his heart. He tried to talk her into allowing Marc to file an appeal, but she didn't care to listen and he was starting to give up hope. What she had done was heinous and although Bob would never understand her reasoning, he knew she had to be punished. He just couldn't reconcile himself with the idea that she, his little girl, was going to be executed. He could almost live with the idea of life in prison, but not death.

"The flight was okay, but there was a lot of turbulence. Tony was amazing, he slept the entire time. Michelle and I couldn't figure out how he did it. Then the traffic from the airport was awful."

"Did you stop and see Jack?"

"Yeah, he looks great. He seems to be doing really well."

"I know, I stopped to see him on Monday. I thought he looked good then."

"Did he tell you?" Kate asked as she poured coffee into a mug.

"Tell me what?" He asked in return.

"He resigned from CTU."

"Really?" Bob asked, obviously surprised by the news. "When?"

"I guess he made it official today." Kate told him.

"I think it's good news. One way or another, that job was eventually going to kill him. You must be happy about it, Kate."

"Yeah, I guess I am." She said in a voice that sounded like she was trying to convince herself. "Dad, I'm really tired. Do you mind if I take the coffee upstairs and just get ready for bed?"

"No, Honey, that's fine. I'll get your bags out of the car and bring them up."

Bob walked up the steps and carried the two bags into Kate's room. She hadn't lived there in years, but he still considered it 'Kate's room'. Kate had set her coffee on the nightstand and stood holding a framed picture of herself and her mother, Elizabeth. Kate was probably only five or six when it was taken. She was dressed in her Easter outfit including a hat and gloves, and was holding her Easter basket. Elizabeth was crouched down next to her with an arm around Kate's waist.

"I've always loved that picture, Kate." Bob said as he moved closer to his daughter so that he could see the picture, too.

Kate suddenly burst into tears. "I miss her so much, Dad!" She sobbed.

"Oh, Kate" he said as he put his arms around her. He knew this had nothing to do with Elizabeth. She had been dead over ten years. "Honey, what's wrong?" He reached for a tissue and handed it to Kate as he sat her down on the bed. He sat down next to her with his arm around her shoulders.

Kate could barely control her sobs as she tried to speak. "I'm just so tired and so scared and so confused."

"Tired I can take care of; you just need a good night's sleep. Scared and confused, Honey, I don't know if I can help with those, but I'll try. What are you afraid of?"

"I feel so alone, Dad. I know you are here for me, but it's not the same. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and, I don't know, this is all just so overwhelming." She knew she wasn't making a lot of sense but she couldn't help it. Words were just coming out of her mouth in a stream of consciousness; everything that came to mind she said. "I thought I was okay with having the baby by myself. I thought I had Jack out of my system. Now, he wants us to get back together and I'm not so sure we should. But when we spend time together, I'm so happy. He makes me feel so much better. Then I start remembering how much he hurt me and I'm afraid he'll do it again. Now he tells me he's left CTU and I'm afraid that he did it just to please me and that makes me obliged to go back to him. Dad, I don't know what to do."

Bob pulled Kate's head toward his chest and held her close while she cried. He never felt as helpless as when one of his daughters cried. Even when they were babies, he felt as though he had failed as a father when one of them cried. Whether the tears were over a scraped knee or forgotten lines in the school play or lack of a date for the homecoming dance, it didn't matter, he always felt helpless when they cried. He felt more helpless now than he ever had. He wished it was as simple as cleaning and bandaging a knee or telling her that there would be other dances to go to. He wished he had words of wisdom to share that would give her the right decisions, but he didn't.

"Kate, if you want me to guarantee that Jack or any man isn't going to hurt you, I can't do it. I wish I could, because the last thing I ever want is to see you hurting like you are now. Unfortunately, part of going into a relationship is knowing that you might get hurt. You can't dwell on that." Bob paused to wipe tears from Kate's face. "I know you have a history with Jack and I know he hurt you once. I also know Jack pretty well and I believe him when he told me that he never wanted to hurt you. He believed that he was saving you pain in the long run. I know about his heroin addiction, and I think that had a lot to do with how he behaved. He also told me that he hasn't touched the stuff since he went to rehab and I believe that, too. I think he wants to be a good father to your baby. I think he's very motivated to make a relationship work; whatever relationship you are willing to agree to."

"So, you are on his side. You think I should go back to him."

"Whoa, whoa, I'm not taking sides here, Kate. I'm giving you the facts as I see them. I hate to put this on your shoulders, but you're the only one who can make this decision. By the way, I don't think you need to make a decision today. Let the relationship move forward and see what direction it takes. If you don't like the direction, you either change course or end it." Bob took a breath and continued, "Kate, it's hard to be a single parent. You and Marie were nearly grown when your mother died and I still found it hard not to have her help when one of you had a problem. Jack is offering to be there to help. I think you should let him."

Kate had calmed down now. She took a sip of coffee and sighed. "You're right. I don't need to make a decision right now, but I do need to get some sleep. Thanks, Dad. I love you."

Kate went to bed still confused, but less tense about it. She lay in her bed feeling safe and warm for a change and fell into an exhausted sleep.

10:38pm

Jack laid awake channel surfing, but not really paying attention to what was on. Kate had given him such mixed signals. Their good night kiss had blown him away. He thought she was angry with him. He wondered if he was even going to get a kiss and the next thing he knew she was kissing him intensely. He sighed. He was going to have to be patient, he thought as he turned off the television and tried to sleep. Kate was all he could see when he closed his eyes. If he really concentrated, he could still feel her kiss. He could feel his tongue in her mouth. He could smell the soft scent of her cologne. He loved her so much. I will wait a lifetime for you, he thought as sleep descended peacefully upon him.