Yukino Yukinoshita

"No, please. It was my fault." Hikigaya muttered in his sleep. As soon as we took our seats at the station, he fell asleep. Yui followed his lead, and I was left alone watching over them. Not that I minded, it gave me a chance to catch up on the novel that I was reading, and the presence of my snoozing companions kept any unwanted interlopers at bay.

I also learned that Hachiman Hikigaya talked while he slept. It happened in small fits, and the first time that it had occurred, I thought that he was awake and speaking with his eyes closed.

It was at a low volume and not particularly often, but it did happen consistently. As I turned a page, he murmured another snippet. "bottle still there … not forgotten … "

Like an arrow shot from a bow, he sprang forward. I flinched at such a violent motion, which subsequently woke up Yui next to him, who had been snuggling into his side.

He glanced around suspiciously. Then looked at me, "Did I say anything?"

I shook my head. "You muttered a little bit. Something about a bottle, but that was it."

He sighed and now seemed a lot less tense. "That's good."

"Did you seriously have to wake me up for that?" Yui complained before stretching. Her shirt rode up and exposed her smooth midriff, the slightest hint of obliques on the sides. I noticed Hikigaya avert his gaze while I watched.

"Anyways, we've barely talked since you left, Hikki. The tea house was awesome, by the way. It was super fancy. Do you go to places like that all the time?"

Hikigaya shrugged. "I go occasionally. Generally, clients take me. Or sometimes if I want to treat my sister. Honestly, it gets boring when you've been to enough of them."

Yui's eyes widened as she leaned forward. "Really, how many does it take before that sets in?"

He considered it for a moment while keeping his eyes locked on her face, disregarding her décolletage. "When you get into the triple digits, it starts to get routine."

I nodded my support. "It's the same with galas and other black-tie events. Once you've been to a couple dozen, they start to blend together."

Yui smiled teasingly. "I don't think that's going to be a problem for me."

I snickered, and Hikigaya chuckled. "Fair point, though if either of you two wants to in the future, I'll invite you when I go out to fancy restaurants."

"Really, oh my gosh, Hikki. You're like so awesome." Yui gushed. "Only if it's okay with Komachi."

He smiled. "Yeah, it should be fine."

After a moment of hesitation, I spoke. "If either of you would ever be interested in attending a gala, I can invite you."

Hikigaya kept a neutral expression. "If you're okay with being seen with me, then I'll probably take you up on that offer."

"Me too," Yui exclaimed. "The three of us should go together."

My face reddened at the thought of what other people would say if they heard I brought two dates, a boy and a girl. Yui noticed and slid over to whisper into my ear. "Don't worry; I'll save you a dance." I flustered more, and Hikigaya looked away, his expression suddenly tired.

Yui backed off, and we each took a moment to recover. Naturally, Yui was the first to break the silence. "So, if you've both been to so many high society places and events, what's the most memorable experience?"

I smiled. "Once at the opening of a new samurai exhibit in the Japanese museum of cultural history. There was this woman, Otayami, and at the time, she was heavily pregnant. So I'm looking at one of the exhibits. When I hear a yell from the dance floor, Oyatami had requested a non-alcoholic drink. So the server brought her a tumbler of mango juice, and along the way, the museum curator's cane tripped the server. Since it was a high society event, some of the artifacts were open-air. The server spilled mango juice all over a set of ancient letters from a general and his secret lover, and these were the centerpiece of the new exhibit. Priceless pieces of history destroyed in a flash."

When I finished, both Hikigaya and Yui looked shell-shocked. "Well, that certainly beats mine." Hikigaya laughed.

"Were the letters salvageable?" Yui gasped when I shook my head.

"Wow, that's really something," Hikigaya added, scratching his chin.

"What about you?" I looked at him, making it clear that whether or not my story 'beat' his, I wanted to hear it. Yui's nod from next to him indicated that she felt the same.

"Well, I was about fourteen when it happened. At the time, I was truly in my awkward stage of puberty. Gangly limbs, voice cracks, and you name it-"

"Hikki, What does this have to do with a fancy restaurant experience?" Yui interrupted.

"We'll get there when we get there." He said, choosing not to really answer her question. "So, I asked one of the senior associates for advice on how he got girls."

Yui and I both groaned. I hated this feeling of secondhand embarrassment.

"Anyways, one night, the associates invited me to dinner. Komachi was at a sleepover, and so I was like, what the hell, it beats sitting at home alone."

Neither Yui nor I bothered to send him a pitying glance. We both kept our faces impassive, and a little bit of tension slipped from his brow. "Our waitress for the night was really cute and young. Maybe, twenty. The associate who I asked for advice on relationships noticed and started talking me up to her every time she came by. All the other guys follow his lead."

"If this story gets pervy, I'm gonna smack you." Yui warned, and my smile was saccharine support to her words.

"Goddamn, if you'd just let me finish. I'll tell you why it doesn't end pervy. Obviously, I had no chance with this girl, but it felt nice to be appreciated." He looked away, extremely embarrassed. "So, the associate, his name was Kidoko. Kidoko goes to the bathroom. A minute later, the waitress comes storming out and dumps a drink right into my face. Apparently, Kidoko had offered to pay her to sleep with me. Anyways she starts yelling and tries to slap me. The other guys stop her. And that was that."

"I'd say that your story stands abreast with mine, Hikigaya." I offered, at a loss for what else to say.

"Definitely some points for the humiliation factor." Yui offered.

"Gee, thanks." He intoned sarcastically.

"Of course, Hikki."

"Anytime, Hikigaya."

~/~

Yui Yuigahama

"Hey mom, I'm home," I called out as I entered the apartment. I heard an excited yip as Sable came running up to me. "Aw, did you miss me? Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy? It's you." I talked childishly as he ran around sporadically and chased his tail.

"Yui, is that you?" My mom came out of her bedroom clad in a cardigan and her usual pair of jeans. "Honey, it's so good to see you."

She power-walked forward and wrapped her arms around me. "Put your bag in your room, and we can talk about how your trip went. Are you hungry?"

"Sure." Suddenly, I felt my lack of breakfast or real dinner last night. I had instead forged myself at the tea house. "I haven't eaten since yesterday."

"Did they not feed you?" My mom was aghast at the thought.

I laughed and waved away the motherly concern. "No, there was breakfast at the hotel, but after the tea house, I still felt kinda full."

"Oh, your school paid for the tea house; that's quite fancy." She smiled and laughed.

I shook my head. "No, Hikigaya arranged it. They even had Geisha and Maiko there performing while we ate. It was amazing." I gushed.

Her smile turned awkward. "Honey, I'm glad you had fun. But please be careful with Hikigaya. Don't over-rely on him."

I scowled. "Mom, I trust him. He's a good guy."

"Is he, though? He earned massive wealth in a law firm. He has a little sister who you've met once and parents who he doesn't get along with. What else do you really know about him? You said that he used to attend Shuuchin; why did he leave? People don't just walk away from a school like that, from a life like that." She looked at me softly. "Yui, I just don't want to see you get hurt."

I wanted to yell. To defend my friend. But I just couldn't do that to her when her eyes were full of love and concern. The worst part was that she wasn't wrong.

As much as I liked to think otherwise, Hikigaya was still an enigma.

~/~

Hachiman Hikigaya

The next day back at school, the environment was muted. Everyone from our year was still recovering from our adventures in Kyoto, and the teachers that had chaperoned were no different.

It was a series of half-hearted lessons and even less enthusiastic attempts at learning the material. Yui snuck a few glances at me, and I was unsure why.

Honestly, though, I couldn't be bothered to investigate. If something were bothering her, then she would be honest with me. I didn't expect to be blindsided the way I was when we walked to the club room.

"Hikki, why did you leave Shuuchin?" She asked, brown orbs trained on me. The glint in them let me know that she wasn't going to let this go.

I felt myself begin to panic, but I forcefully took control of my breathing forcing myself to calm down. "Yui, if you want to know. I promise I'll tell you. But I need some time, please."

She smiled and lay a friendly hand on my arm. "Take as much time as you need. Tell me when you're ready."

Together we walked towards the clubroom. Reaching it to find an unusual site. From the doorway, there wasn't just the usual figure of Yukinoshita seated at the end of the table, and there was also President Shiromeguri, some underclassmen who I'd seen once or twice, and Hiratsuka Sensei.

"Ahh, if it isn't Hikigaya." Shiromeguri looked at me.

"Hello. How are you?" I kept my voice cordial. It would only lead to more of a hassle to be disrespectful, and after Kyoto, I didn't want to antagonize Hiratsuka.

"I'm good, Hikigaya. The extensive documentation you provided from the festival made my job a lot easier." Shiromeguri smiled sweetly.

I smiled; despite everything, it was still nice to be told that I'd done a good job. "Is there some sort of problem with any of the documents?" I raised an eyebrow. Trying to politely make my message clear.

"Oh no, everything's fine in that regard." Shiromeguri waved her hands in front of her.

"They're here regarding the election." Yukinoshita spoke, calmly sipping tea from a mug.

I stilled. "I'm not at liberty to discuss anything in that regard. I have signed a nondisclosure agreement."

"The school election." Yukinoshita amended.

I shrugged. "Sorry, that was a bad joke." The other two club members gave me a suspicious glance but ultimately dropped the issue. Though, I knew that this wouldn't be the last that I heard about it.

I took my seat as Yui greeted the one unnamed girl in the room. "Oh my gosh, Iroha, it's so good to see you. Why are you at the service club?" Did all the pretty girls at this school just know each other or something?

"Well, it's about the election." Iroha tried to send a somewhat flirtatious smile my way, which I proceeded to ignore.

My phone buzzed, and I pulled it out as the people around me spoke.

"Iroha was entered by someone else." Shiromeguri.

I entered the passcode.

"Why don't you just not campaign?" Yui.

I tapped on my messages icon.

"No one else is running." Hiratsuka.

I saw that the text was from Oko Shinomiya.

"Isn't it possible to drop out?" Yukinoshita

I opened it.

"That would be totally uncool." Iroha.

I figured that since it no longer was of benefit, I may as well tell you.

"So your social reputation is at risk?" Me.

It might even be entertaining.

"Well, I wouldn't phrase it like that." Iroha.

Ai Hayasaka has been performing reconnaissance on Kaguya Shinomiya since she was hired.

Oh, I can't say that I expected that. Now I understand why she wasn't there with Shinomiya. How much of a fool must I have been not to see that?

"So, how would you phrase it?" I kept my tone neutral and my real emotions suppressed. I wouldn't freak out or get hysterical. I would deal with this when I got home.

"More like I don't want to be bullied just because I tried to undo a prank." She said, tilting her head slightly to match mine. How charming? She's trying to mirror my behaviors to form an interpersonal connection. If I hadn't found out that someone I thought was a friend had been manipulating me from the start, then I might be charmed; or at least amused.

"I see; what kind of solution do you envision?" Yukinoshita asked.

I didn't turn my eyes away from the screen. They kept rereading the text, hoping that I made a mistake. I could read the entire thing in an instant, but nonetheless, I kept looking it over.

I could call Oko and ask for confirmation. The best person would be Shinomiya, but after everything that happened to her, I wasn't going to drag another painful issue to the forefront.

"Well, that's why I came to you guys. Hiratsuka said that you'd be able to help me." She leaned forward towards me. Putting her hands on the table in front of me.

She probably assumed the weakest link. Usually, I would be. But right now, I had about as much capacity for lust and romance as a rock. Might as well present a solution that would at least keep her off my ass. "Why don't you take the role?"

Her mask slipped for the slightest moment before she smiled sweetly once more. "Don't be silly; I just said that I didn't want to."

"Why don't you want to?" I asked, pulling a legal pad and pen from my bag.

"Well, it's a lot of work, and I'm only a freshman. I don't want my grades to slip."

"Well, I tried my best. It is a lot of work. Yukinoshita, do you want to be president?" I asked, keeping my tone bored.

Luckily she seemed to catch my drift. "Sure, let's do it. Yui can be my vice president, and you'll be general affairs." She smiled.

"Oi, why are you giving me the worst position?" I complained, letting a small huff out.

Yui smirked and cut in. "Maybe, it's because you aren't suited to leadership."

"Leadership is my middle name."

"You're Japanese; you don't have one. At least keep your braggadocio culturally relevant." Yukino cut in.

"Yeah, Hikki." Yui, with a lack of an intellectual barb, chose to stick her tongue out at me.

I turned to Iroha. "So, I guess the problem is resolved."

Her eyes were wide. "You know. I kinda want to be in the student council if you guys are the ones running it."

I nodded with a lack of real emotion. "We'll see." I felt my cellphone's cold aluminum in my pocket, and any amusement I felt was disrupted. I stood up and gave a smile that I hoped looked somewhat contrite. "Sorry, something came up at home. If you come by tomorrow, we can hash out the details."

As I walked out of the door and turned left, I saw Iroha move as if to say something, and Hiratsuka lay a warning hand over her shoulder. I would make sure that she got a raise. She was good.

I pulled out my phone and sent a text.

To: Ai Hayasaka

From: Hachiman Hikigaya

Oko told me. We need to talk.

I wouldn't cry, at least not until I knew the truth.

~/~

Yukino Yukinoshita

After all the non-members of the club had left, Yuigahama turned to me. "What do you think he meant about that election stuff?"

I kept my gaze trained on the door. In truth, I was slightly worried that he would come back to hear us discussing him. "I don't know, but it was most certainly suspicious. I intend to at least ask him tomorrow."

Yui frowned. "Give him some time, and I'm sure that he'll come around."

I smiled slightly at her and enjoyed the way that her eyes lit up. "That is a prudent decision. You are so much smarter than we give you credit for."

A/N: I want to thank everyone for their feedback. Sometimes I wonder if stories like Kaguya Sama & Oregairu are meta-commentary on the way teenagers view their affairs in high school.

Dating someone is made to be such a big deal when in reality, it's not. It really just means that you want to know the other individual better to see if you're compatible in a relationship.

Both of the aforementioned series (at least before worse spin-offs) treated some stage of a (relatively nascent) relationship as a happy ending. Be it the kiss or actually becoming boyfriend and girlfriend.

Otagema: I can't say yet. I'm not sure yet who ends up with who; all I know is that just because characters like each other doesn't mean they're destined to end up happily ever after. I know what I said was controversial, but thanks for your support.

Cadmus8: The gravestone reveal is coming up; I've planned it for a while. Before chapter 38 it should be out. I hope you guys will like it. Btw, it was 1 family headstone, 2 names.

HollowSeven: Again, I don't know yet who he'll end up with, but just because a romance has been done before doesn't mean that it's bad or falls apart in story logic. Also, as of now, the pairing is up in the air.

Guest (Trea): I don't fundamentally dislike Kaguya x Miyuki, but I don't love it either. From a narrative perspective, I wouldn't classify them as a net positive or a net negative. Their romance is entertaining; as for pushing each other to develop, I don't disagree, but my thoughts are that it's really hard to tell if spending time with each other is the core catalyst. The chase of the other person has pushed them to be better, but the actual relationship hasn't because the readers weren't given the opportunity to see how the relationship matured and deepened with time. Again the issue with high school romances.