Disclaimer: Still no. And big no, no for Natalie Imbruglia's song "Torn".

AN: READ THIS PLEASE!!

First thing first - this thing is all planned out, written on the paper in little notes I just have to follow. It will have 14 chapters, together with the prologue and an epilogue, and with this chapter which is rather short but it brings out the majority of the plot, and we could call it a filler chapter. I'm actually looking forward to writing this, because I saw a plot similar to mine more than one time but it was never brought to an end. Hopefully I'll have this finished by the end of the summer, but don't hold me to my word.

Second thing is that I've messed up two completely different stories. The titles and summaries. Hence to why the title is changed and the summary as well. And no I didn't steel this from anyone. !

Enjoy with the warning on angst... I love writing it!

"Torn"

By Chiisana Anisa

"Crying game"

Fear.

It was a factor well known in my life for the past few days. I woke up with it and went asleep with it. And it didn't help that one person that caused it was always by my side. I remember the days when I could smile without pressures, or angry looks afterwards, or when I didn't have to hide my frown or disagreeing with something. But nowadays my face always wore the same expression. The one mask I never ever wanted to wear.

Total indifference.

After we ate dinner Inuyasha's nose perked up, his ears likewise and before I could blink he got up and left the camp fire in a trail of dust. Only one thing made him act like this and I knew where he has gone of to. To see Her.

I felt disgusted with myself and wanted to run away, to hide in the secureness of my home and cry my eyes out, but upon remembering his threat my head was left spinning so fast I thought I was on the verge of fainting. As did Sango and Miroku too. They could see me like this only when he was away. And it was now.

Sango ran to me, catching me under my arms, practically screaming my name into my ear. "Are you all right?!"

I smiled weakly looking up to her, but black dots still dancing in front of my eyes. "Yes, I'm fine. I just got dizzy..." And I felt dizzy too, not that I was completely lying to her. The reason about it would although remain a lie.

Her temper flared. "That's it! I'm sending you home no matter what Inuyasha says, and he can kill me for it but I'm not letting him kill you like this instead!" Ah, she knew... no point in lying then.

I could see and sense she was really angry, her eyes narrowed to the point where you couldn't really see the color of her pupils and her face contorted with anger. "Sango, no. I'm fine." I had to say something even if it sounded harsh. What else was I supposed to do?

And then, that familiar sense of someone intruding my soul came up my spine and down my front, settling over the area of my heart and I instantly knew that my guess was true. And it hurt to know he went back to her, even after all the time he spent with me. After all we've been through.. it still hurts like Hell, every time a bit more than the previous.

When he came back, of course he acted like nothing happened and it angered me more. His careless posture towards us and me in general. I know everyone has a right to his own private life, but this is one really special, if not weird situation. When your private life it trying to kill everyone near you and even you... That didn't sound like a good thing to me, from the start.

But Inuyasha, as if sensing my thoughts quickly landed in front of me with one gracious leap. Kami, I still think of him as gracious... I thought while my hand flew up to the wounds on my neck. His eyes followed my movements and before he walked in Kaede's hut he flashed a smirk in my way.

Once again, the thoughts from before dinner came to my mind and I only needed them to remind me that I don't know Inuyasha so well. I would have go on with my musings, but his bark from inside made me shiver all over.

"Kagome! Get inside and get some sleep, we are leaving tomorrow early."

I didn't budge from the place I was standing. I presumed Kikyou told him something about the Shikon shards. I gazed at the moon and tried to count how many nights he had before his changing, but then I could feel his eyes set on me and so very slowly I turned around to find him standing at the entrance. The look in his eyes promised a lots of things to me if I didn't move inside at once.

I looked at him with no traces of fear whatsoever and he seemed to be surprised. I could swear I saw a small smile pass his features, but I could have been wrong. Nonetheless I walked to him and when he moved aside I flinched for some reason expecting him to harm me, to hurt me again. He didn't say anything, what was even worse he laughed at me before he disappeared into the night.

Sango's eyes followed me through the hut before I sat down and looked at her and Miroku. I couldn't help but notice how close they sat to each other, and my mind recalled that they were sort of promised to each other now. Sheer happiness filled my heart for them, and I was glad that someone got to be happy if it wasn't me. It took me a second before I figured out that Miroku asked me something.

"All you all right Lady Kagome?"

He is always so respectful to me, calling me lady or miko or priestess. He can make me laugh more than two times in a minute and he is a good friend. A good person to have around, someone to lean on once in a while. After this quest I will miss him and my almost sister, Sango.

She felt like a sister to me because I looked at her in that way. I know what she has gone through in her life, and it wasn't easy. I know how many nights I found her crying where she slept and sometimes we would even cry together, me holding her and she holding me like a safety rope, crying for totally different reasons. I loved her like my best friend but much more like a sister I never got to have.

"Yes, I'm all right Miroku, don' fuzz so much about me." Was my answer to his polite question.

Sango took on and I got a feeling they planned this out. "Kagome-chan, you can't really insist on being well. I can see how much it pains you... Inuyasha's behavior."

Straight to the point she went. Well she never was the one to circle around things. I bent my head down as I admitted to myself that they had the right to know. "Yes, it pains me Sango-chan. And I really don't know what brought this change in him. I would like to, though."

"Lady Kagome, we don't know either. If I'm right... those traces on your neck..." He tried to finish but I refused to give him a chance.

"Miroku, don't go there. You can see it, and I know you're clever, so don't make yourself stupid asking those kind of questions. Further more, it is something between me and Inuyasha." I sounded cold and I knew it. Gray shadow passed over Miroku's face, and I could sense he felt somewhat insulted by my remarks but he wouldn't pry anymore. Averting my eyes to the corner where my sleeping bag was I felt at ease that Shippou was already asleep. He really didn't need to hear all of this.

Miroku may have been convinced, but Sango was not. "Kagome. If I was on your place... I wouldn't let it go so easily. And you haven't 'sat' him all day. What is going on? I can see the worry on your face every time he comes close to you."

I sighed and put the lost locks of my hair that fell out back into their place. Now the refusal number two. "Sango, I know you mean me well but please let it go. I really don't want to repeat everything I said to Miroku to you as well. Ok?"

Her eyes reflected something wounded and I felt sorry for acting so hard on them both. I didn't have a perfectly logical explanation as to why I didn't want them to know what transpired between me and Inuyasha. I just didn't.

"Very well, Kagome. I won't ask anymore, but you know you can come to me for whatever you need..."

"Thanks for the offer Sango, but I don't need anyone's help right now." And in my mind I thought there was actually no-one here to help me even if they tried. Sango raised up and went to her sleeping place, turning her back on me, Miroku following her example. They were disappointed, but I couldn't help to make it go away.

Settling down in my sleeping bag with Shippou beside me I felt warm, but my soul and my heart still felt abandoned and cold. I wondered what made Inuyasha change so rapidly from the point of caring to the point where he would go that far and hurt me. It didn't matter that he hurt me physically, because my emotions were more damaged than ever. Since I started questioning myself how all of this happened, changed in one day I couldn't find a way to trust him again.

Then in a soft whisper I could hear my two companions talking. I stopped thinking and focused to hear.

"Houshi, don't you think it would be the time for Kagome to learn that Inuyasha has a darker side to his posing?"

"I don't know. Inuyasha seemed strange in this past days, not himself. The only constant thing that remained was when he went of to chase for Kikyou's call."

That's where I stopped listening. Was Kikyou the reason for his change? Again Kikyou troubled my thoughts and I had to suppress the urge to laugh bitterly. For some many nights now I went to sleep thinking about her and me, and Inuyasha of course. Sometimes I would feel frightened, scared of what the next day would bring. The difference today was that Inuyasha was always on my mind since that evening. I couldn't stop thinking about it, and now I came to some conclusion as well.

I'm almost positive he didn't hurt her on their meeting... But I'm not positive he didn't in the past, my mind still hasn't decided on that particular matter. I wished I could go further back into the past and see for my eyes what really happened between Inuyasha and Kikyou. I closed my eyes seeking rest but it didn't came as fast as I wanted it to come.

All this thinking brought the tears to my eyes, my heart aching from the pain it felt. A crazy thought entered my brain... Is this how betrayal felt? Did it bring this much pain to Kikyou that day..? I know I love Inuyasha but if he continues breaking my heart, I'm afraid he'll break me completely. What's even more terrifying - I don't have the slightest clue has he ever had any feelings for me... before?

I wished to know. I wanted to know if he could ever love me as I wanted him to. If he could ever apologize, say he's sorry and kiss my tears away... Did he love Kikyou? If he did... Somehow I think he did, I would really like to know more than anything else how would it feel being loved by Inuyasha... in that way?

But my wishes made me feel stupid and my tears fell faster than before. My family surely missed me and I have no way of telling them I'm fine and not to worry. All because of Inuyasha. How was he able to hurt me so? Those wounds on my neck felt more like they were made upon my heart, and now I had to bite my hand to quiet down my sobs. And I knew already this was going to be just one of the many nights I would fell asleep like this... Crying.

Because...

What do you do when you feel, and more to it - you know that your heart is slowly breaking?

You cry...

And cry...

And cry some more...

Again.

Later, in the middle of the night with no one awake to witness and warn, one little precious thing, not fully repaired glowed in the darkness of the hut with a pinkish color, shedding the light on the persons face whose request it has fulfilled..

"I thought I saw a man brought to life

He was warm, he came around like he was dignified"

AN: OK.... not so much of a cliffhanger, right? I mean... you can guess what will be in the next chapter?

Right?

Oh, and please do forgive me for making this chapter sound so 'light', I'm not even sure that's the right word to use. If you have any ideas - feel free to tell. Update will be as soon as I can, probably by the end of the week, as well as my Sailor Moon fic, for any of you who might have read that and are now reading this.

Thanks for the attention!

Anisa