Disclaimer: No, I don't own Naruto. If I did, I would be writing these
things in the manga, not posting them here
Title: Naruto's Book of Fairy Tales
Chapter Title: Lazy Kakashi
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Kakashi/Iruka
Origin: English
Warnings: None
~*~*~*~*~*
A boy named Kakashi lived with his father, Yondaime, in a dreary village. They were very poor. Yondaime earned little money sewing and mending, but all Kakashi did was sit by the fire and laze in the sun reading Icha Icha Paradise. At last Yondaime yelled at his son, "GET YOUR FUCKING LAZY ASS INTO ACTION, OR I WILL FEED YOU TO THE KYUUBI!!!!!!!!!!"
Kyuubi was very upset that Kakashi decided to get his butt into gear and go find a job, because he hadn't had a decent human to eat in many a year.
So Kakashi hired himself to a farmer for a penny for the day, which is stupid because penny's had very little value, even back in the old days. Kakashi must be really lazy. So on the way home Kakashi dropped the penny into a stream and its soul was sent to penny heaven.
"You stupid idiot!" said Yondaime when Kakashi told him what happened. "You should have carried it in your pocket."
"Whatever," said Kakashi, and he went to the local library to look at porno sites, and was banned.
The next day Kakashi went to work for another farmer. This farmer gave him a pitcher of milk for pay, and Kakashi put it in his pocket like Yondaime had told him. But as he walked home the pitcher jiggled in his pocket and milk slopped everywhere.
"Dobe!" said Yondaime. "You should have carried it on top of your head."
Kakashi wasn't paying attention. He was too busy reading Icha Icha Paradise Swimsuit special.
The next day Kakashi went to another farmer, who gave him a cream cheese for his days work. Kakashi put the cheese on his head like Yondaime told him. But by the time he got home the soft cheese had run all over his hair. Yondaime laughed his ass off when Kakashi came home.
"What?" asked Kakashi.
"H-h-hair!" Yondaime chocked out before resuming laughing.
Kakashi felt on his hair...
"ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! IT'S IN MY HAIR!!!!!!!! MY BEAUTIFUL SPIKY GRAVITY DEFING HAIR!!!!"
Kakashi never ate cream cheese again.
After he was done laughing, Yondaime yelled at Kakashi, "Baka! You should have carried it in your hands!"
Kakashi wasn't listening. He was busy performing a voodoo ritual on the farmer muttering, "Curse you, you think it's funny that my hair is ruined, well I'll show you..."
The next day Kakashi hired himself to a baker who paid him with a tomcat, which was rather stupid because that meant that Kakashi had one more mouth to feed.
Kakashi carried the cat carefully in his hands, but halfway home the cat scratched so much that he had to let it go.
"Well, you should have tied it to a string and dragged it along after you, but since we couldn't feed the cat anyway I'll let you off," Yondaime.
Kakashi was happy.
The next day Kakashi hired himself to a butcher who paid him with a leg of ham. Kakashi tied the ham with a string and dragged it after him. By the time he got home it was filthy with dust. Yondaime was furious.
"YOU IDIOT!!!! THAT COULD HAVE BEEN OUR DINNER FOR THE NEXT WEEK!!! YOU SHOULD HAVE CARRIED IT ON YOUR SHOULDERS!!!!! _YOU_ _ARE_ _THE_ _STUPIDEST_ _PERSON_ _IN_ _THE_ _WORLD_!!!!!!!!!!!" he yelled in between slamming Kakashi's face into the wall.
"I can't fell my face..." Kakashi whimpered.
The next day Kakashi hired himself to another farmer, who gave him a donkey for his trouble. Now Kakashi was a strong person, but even he found it hard to lift the donkey on his shoulders, and he huffed and puffed as he carried it.
On his way home Kakashi passed the mansion of a rich dead couple whose son, Iruka, never laughed because he was too busy mourning his lost parents. Iruka was a very cute person, and his adoptive father Sarutobi promised that anyone could make Iruka laugh would marry him. Even if it was a guy.
Iruka was staring out the window, looking some as usual, when he spotted a young man coming down the road. He was very handsome, with pale skin and a mask and headband to cover his face. His visible eye was a steel gray that went perfectly with his silver hair. Iruka blushed. Then he looked closer at the man...
And saw he was carrying a donkey on his back.
Iruka blinked once, twice, before bursting out with more laughter than the insane authoresses when we torture our little bishes.
Iruka laughed so hard that all the mansion came running to see what was going on. When they saw what Iruka was laughing at, they all began rolling on the floor with laughter too until someone went outside and told Kakashi that he had just won Iruka's hand in marriage. Kakashi was very happy because this way he could get rich and never half to work again.
Iruka and Kakashi were married in a splendid wedding, before deciding that this place was boring and going back to Konoha leaving Yondaime to fend off an angry Kyuubi that Itachi and Naruto had released just for fun.
~*~*~*~*~*
Author's Notes: I just realized that has Itachi appeared in every story so far. Yeah, I actually like this one, just because it's so un-Kakashi like to be so stupid! But it's funny XD!
Kakashi: *performing voodoo on the farmer that gave him cream cheese* YOU SHALL BURN OH YES YOU SHALL BURN IN HELL FOR ETERNITY!!! MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
Rest of Cast: O_____________O He's scary...
Pyro: ^_^;;;;;;
Title: Naruto's Book of Fairy Tales
Chapter Title: Lazy Kakashi
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Kakashi/Iruka
Origin: English
Warnings: None
~*~*~*~*~*
A boy named Kakashi lived with his father, Yondaime, in a dreary village. They were very poor. Yondaime earned little money sewing and mending, but all Kakashi did was sit by the fire and laze in the sun reading Icha Icha Paradise. At last Yondaime yelled at his son, "GET YOUR FUCKING LAZY ASS INTO ACTION, OR I WILL FEED YOU TO THE KYUUBI!!!!!!!!!!"
Kyuubi was very upset that Kakashi decided to get his butt into gear and go find a job, because he hadn't had a decent human to eat in many a year.
So Kakashi hired himself to a farmer for a penny for the day, which is stupid because penny's had very little value, even back in the old days. Kakashi must be really lazy. So on the way home Kakashi dropped the penny into a stream and its soul was sent to penny heaven.
"You stupid idiot!" said Yondaime when Kakashi told him what happened. "You should have carried it in your pocket."
"Whatever," said Kakashi, and he went to the local library to look at porno sites, and was banned.
The next day Kakashi went to work for another farmer. This farmer gave him a pitcher of milk for pay, and Kakashi put it in his pocket like Yondaime had told him. But as he walked home the pitcher jiggled in his pocket and milk slopped everywhere.
"Dobe!" said Yondaime. "You should have carried it on top of your head."
Kakashi wasn't paying attention. He was too busy reading Icha Icha Paradise Swimsuit special.
The next day Kakashi went to another farmer, who gave him a cream cheese for his days work. Kakashi put the cheese on his head like Yondaime told him. But by the time he got home the soft cheese had run all over his hair. Yondaime laughed his ass off when Kakashi came home.
"What?" asked Kakashi.
"H-h-hair!" Yondaime chocked out before resuming laughing.
Kakashi felt on his hair...
"ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! IT'S IN MY HAIR!!!!!!!! MY BEAUTIFUL SPIKY GRAVITY DEFING HAIR!!!!"
Kakashi never ate cream cheese again.
After he was done laughing, Yondaime yelled at Kakashi, "Baka! You should have carried it in your hands!"
Kakashi wasn't listening. He was busy performing a voodoo ritual on the farmer muttering, "Curse you, you think it's funny that my hair is ruined, well I'll show you..."
The next day Kakashi hired himself to a baker who paid him with a tomcat, which was rather stupid because that meant that Kakashi had one more mouth to feed.
Kakashi carried the cat carefully in his hands, but halfway home the cat scratched so much that he had to let it go.
"Well, you should have tied it to a string and dragged it along after you, but since we couldn't feed the cat anyway I'll let you off," Yondaime.
Kakashi was happy.
The next day Kakashi hired himself to a butcher who paid him with a leg of ham. Kakashi tied the ham with a string and dragged it after him. By the time he got home it was filthy with dust. Yondaime was furious.
"YOU IDIOT!!!! THAT COULD HAVE BEEN OUR DINNER FOR THE NEXT WEEK!!! YOU SHOULD HAVE CARRIED IT ON YOUR SHOULDERS!!!!! _YOU_ _ARE_ _THE_ _STUPIDEST_ _PERSON_ _IN_ _THE_ _WORLD_!!!!!!!!!!!" he yelled in between slamming Kakashi's face into the wall.
"I can't fell my face..." Kakashi whimpered.
The next day Kakashi hired himself to another farmer, who gave him a donkey for his trouble. Now Kakashi was a strong person, but even he found it hard to lift the donkey on his shoulders, and he huffed and puffed as he carried it.
On his way home Kakashi passed the mansion of a rich dead couple whose son, Iruka, never laughed because he was too busy mourning his lost parents. Iruka was a very cute person, and his adoptive father Sarutobi promised that anyone could make Iruka laugh would marry him. Even if it was a guy.
Iruka was staring out the window, looking some as usual, when he spotted a young man coming down the road. He was very handsome, with pale skin and a mask and headband to cover his face. His visible eye was a steel gray that went perfectly with his silver hair. Iruka blushed. Then he looked closer at the man...
And saw he was carrying a donkey on his back.
Iruka blinked once, twice, before bursting out with more laughter than the insane authoresses when we torture our little bishes.
Iruka laughed so hard that all the mansion came running to see what was going on. When they saw what Iruka was laughing at, they all began rolling on the floor with laughter too until someone went outside and told Kakashi that he had just won Iruka's hand in marriage. Kakashi was very happy because this way he could get rich and never half to work again.
Iruka and Kakashi were married in a splendid wedding, before deciding that this place was boring and going back to Konoha leaving Yondaime to fend off an angry Kyuubi that Itachi and Naruto had released just for fun.
~*~*~*~*~*
Author's Notes: I just realized that has Itachi appeared in every story so far. Yeah, I actually like this one, just because it's so un-Kakashi like to be so stupid! But it's funny XD!
Kakashi: *performing voodoo on the farmer that gave him cream cheese* YOU SHALL BURN OH YES YOU SHALL BURN IN HELL FOR ETERNITY!!! MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
Rest of Cast: O_____________O He's scary...
Pyro: ^_^;;;;;;