A/N: Not much humor. Just Botan's plan to get Kurama and Hiei humpin' and bumpin'.

X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X

"I can't believe Kurama would put those things by his house." Yusuke said. It was a few days after he and Kuwabara decided to film the demons. He was finally able to speak clearly, after taking a few of Genkai's "remedies." Yusuke suspected that Genkai was just handing him random things to drink. He was bloated and had horrible gas after drinking different medicines. Sure, he could have just asked Kurama for a cure, but that would reveal that he was lurking around his house.

"Oi, Botan. Are you listening to me?" Yusuke asked.

"Where's Kuwa-chan?" Botan asked as she looked around.

"After that last encounter with Hiei, Kuwabara won't be joining us for a while."

"Oh. Is it that bad?"

"Let's just say that I would look like a god with those boils and lumps standing next to Kuwabara." Yusuke said dejectedly. Poor Kuwabara.

"Botan, are you sure Kurama and Hiei would be happy together? Kurama doesn't seem like he would betray us, and Hiei seemed happy attacking Kuwabara. Shouldn't we just let them be?"

"No!" Botan exclaimed. "We have to finish this mission so I can get back into – " Botan paused. "I mean, as their friends, we should make sure they get together."

Yusuke looked at her.

"What?" Botan asked.

"Botan.............what have you been up to lately? Usually you would help us out after giving us our mission, but you haven't helped us at all."

"It's nothing, nothing! Just a little.........side project." Botan nervously said.

"Alright, whatever. But, what do you plan to do about Kurama and Hiei? I'm ready to give up."

"No, I have just the plan. Let's go on a date with them!"

"And how will us dating them make them fall in love with each other?"

"Yusuke, don't you see? They'll be jealous and then they'll realize they loved each other all along. Then they'll fall into each other arms and kiss." Botan said, with her eyes twinkling.

"Yeah........... let's not get ahead of ourselves."

"Let's meet by that deserted park east of Genkai's temple. You find Hiei and convince him to go on a date, and I'll get Kurama." Botan said cheerily and was about to take off until Yusuke grabbed her arm.

"Wait. Why do I get Hiei? He already thinks I'm after him. He'll probably stab me on sight."

"Well Yusuke, would you rather face Hiei when he's jealous? I mean, if Hiei really wants Kurama, would you like to see what Hiei does if he can't get what he wants?"

"N-no thanks. I've had plenty of experiences with an angry Hiei. Fine, I'll date him." Yusuke said grumpily.

"Okay, we'll meet there in 30 minutes."

X X X X

Botan stood outside Kurama's door and rang his doorbell. After a few minutes, Kurama opened the door.

"Oh, Botan. Nice to see you. Does Koenma have another mission for us?" Kurama said.

"Oh, Kurama!" Botan said and fell into his arms. "How I've longed to see you, dearest."

"Huh?" Kurama said. He was puzzled.

"A-ano, Botan, are you feeling alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine now that I'm here, in your arms, my dearest love."

"Suiichi, who is it?" Shiori asked. She walked to the door to find a sighing, lightheaded Botan, grasping her dear son by the torso.

"Another one of Suiichi's classmates?" Shiori asked.

"Shiori-san! How nice to meet you. I am Botan. Kura- no, Suiichi-kun always spoke so highly of you." Botan said as she politely shook Shiori's hands.

"Oh, I see. You must be close if Suiichi speaks of me." Shiori said.

"Oh, I am." Botan smiled at her, holding Kurama's arm.

"I will leave you two alone." Shiori said, and left.

"No, mother – " Kurama was about to go after her, but Botan dragged him out the door.

"Oh, Kurama. I never thought we'd be alone. I've always wanted you." Botan embraced him again.

"Really? I would have thought you liked Koenma."

"Er.. Koenma" Botan snarled. Kurama gave her a strange look.

"I...I mean, no. I've only had my eyes on you." Botan sighed into his chest.

"Let's go on a date, my dear Suiichi. Somewhere we can be alone." Botan said as she dragged him in the direction of the park.

X X X X

Yusuke had found Hiei, but he was sleeping on a thick branch, high up on a tree somewhere near Genkai's temple. Yusuke didn't want to climb the tree. Ever since his encounter with Kurama's plants, Yusuke avoided any contact with plant life. Now here he was trying to get a date with a volatile demon where his potential jealous lover would spot them in a park full of dense vegetation.

'Great, Yusuke, you really thought this out.' Yusuke told himself. Now...... how to wake up Hiei without getting too close to that tree. Hmm....

"Oh boy, all that training with Genkai has made me really tough. I bet I could beat up any demon now." Yusuke said to himself loudly. Hopefully, Hiei heard. He did. A black blur appeared in front of him.

"Trained lately? Good. This would be a good opportunity to test out my new attack on you." Hiei said. Yusuke nervously laughed. He didn't plan for this to happen. He had been recovering from Kurama's plants; he hasn't trained at all!

"Let's not fight here. I don't want to destroy Genkai's temple. I know somewhere we could fight freely." Yusuke said. He led him to the deserted park.

X X X X

"Where the hell are we?" Hiei asked.

"It's a deserted park. Most humans stay away, so no one will intrude on us." Yusuke said.

"Hn." Hiei said. He took off his cloak and shirt and got ready to attack Yusuke. Yusuke, on the other hand, stood still and nervously looked around. 'Where the hell is Botan? I don't want to fight Hiei now. I might die. And there are no witnesses.' Yusuke thought as he looked around. Yup, they were all alone.

"What the hell are you looking for?" Hiei asked.

"Oh. Um.. nothing. Just admiring the scenery. Yeah, a lot of trees." Yusuke said nervously, expecting one of them to jump out and eat him. Hiei gave him a strange look, but he didn't care. He unsheathed his katana and lunged at Yusuke. Yusuke got into a fighting stance when.....

"Yusuke!" Botan shouted. Hiei stopped midway. Stupid girl. How dare she interrupt him. Great, Kurama was with her too. Now he definitely can't kill Yusuke. Damn, so close.

"Oh, Botan! What a surprise. What are you doing in this deserted park?" Yusuke asked.

"I'm just looking for a private place to spend time with Kurama." Botan said as she simultaneously pulled Kurama into her embrace.

"And what are you doing with Hiei all alone? Oh, it looks like you're sparring." Botan said disappointedly. She shot Yusuke a mean glance. 'What the hell? He's supposed to be dating Hiei, not fighing him!' she thought.

"Since you two are busy, we'll go somewhere else. I think there's a festival in town. Let's go check it out, Botan." Kurama said.

"Wait! I want to go too!" Yusuke said. He changed his mind. He didn't like being all alone with Hiei.

"Stop whining. We're fighting." Hiei said curtly. He pointed his katana at Yusuke. Botan got an idea.

"Yusuke, why don't you fight Hiei now and then come to the festival with us later? We'll wait for you." Botan said.

"No. I don't-" Yusuke started.

"Take off your shirt so it won't get ripped." Botan said slyly. Yusuke caught onto her plan.

"Right. Just hang around for a while until we're done." Yusuke said. "But don't go to far!" Yusuke added. In case he needed backup, Kurama wouldn't be far off. Botan smiled and led Kurama to sit on a rotting bench. They were far enough so Yusuke and Hiei could fight easily, but close enough so Kurama could watch them fight and where Hiei could see them if he chose so.

Yusuke took off his shirt and got ready to fight. Hiei immediately charged and Yusuke dodged most of the blows. Yusuke jumped onto the tree branches to escape, but Hiei easily caught up. Hiei threw the katana away and was using his fists now. Black flames started to burst from his fists and they were burning Yusuke. He turned to get away, but a heavy branch got in his way. Strange, he could have sworn the branch just moved. He didn't have a second longer to ponder as Hiei's attack almost got his face. He back flipped and descended onto the ground. Yeah, the ground was much safer.

The flames started to make both parties perspire. They both got pretty worn out and couldn't dodge each other's attacks much longer. Yusuke's spirit bullets and Hiei's shots of youki were starting to take their toll. Yusuke didn't have that much energy left. He prepared to jump high into the trees and hopefully catch Hiei off guard. He leaped, but something was holding him down. Yusuke looked down. What the hell? When did a swamp emerge underneath him? Yusuke was stuck and Hiei charged at him with his right fist ablaze with fire. His fist collided with Yusuke's chest and then Hiei's youki exploded. That sent Yusuke flying back a hundred feet. Hiei won the fight.

Both were sweating profusely and breathing hard. Botan and Kurama heard the explosion. Botan quickly ran to Yusuke. She used her powers to heal what she could.

"OW! I knew I shouldn't have fought that shrimp!" Yusuke yelled. He looked over at Hiei. He was laying on the grass with Kurama leaning over him. Grass? Wasn't it a swamp earlier? Yusuke tried to get up, expecting it to hurt like hell, but it didn't. Botan's healing powers must be getting better.

"Are you alright?" Botan asked.

"I'll live." Yusuke responded.

"Oh, it was great. You should have seen Kurama! He couldn't stop looking at you two. He was definitely jealous!" Botan exclaimed.

"I wish I could be happier, but my ribs don't feel like celebrating." Yusuke said dejectedly. He knew Kurama was interfering with the fight. Oh well, at least he got Kurama jealous. He slowly put on his shirt, which was covered in little debris.

Botan and Yusuke were looking at the demons. Kurama had summoned some plants to heal Hiei's injuries. Oh yeah, Kurama's hands were moving all over Hiei's torso. Surely Kurama didn't enjoy watching Hiei and Yusuke get all hot and sweaty with each other. Botan ran over to Kurama and hugged him. By doing so, Kurama's hand slipped and grazed Hiei's wound.

"Kisama!" Hiei cursed. "Stupid girl." Hiei grumbled and glared at Botan. Yay, Hiei was jealous. No wait, he was just pissed. Damn.

"Now that they're done fighting, we can go to the festival, right?" Botan said.

"Um. I don't know. Is Yusuke okay?" Kurama asked.

"He's fine." Botan said.

"Hiei, do you want to come with us?" Kurama asked.

"Hn. Hang around with stupid humans all night. I don't think so." Hiei said. He tried to leave, but Kurama grabbed his arm.

"I don't think so. After fighting with Yusuke, you must be exhausted. Even a bunch of lower class demons could hurt you now." Kurama said.

"Hn. Let them try." Hiei said. Kurama tightened his grip and pulled him closer.

"No. If you get hurt now, you won't be able to fight when Koenma gives us an assignment. And part of our agreement is to help Yusuke and Kuwabara on their missions." Kurama said firmly. Hiei yanked his arm out of Kurama's grasp and grumbled. That meant he was going with them.

"Come on, let's go!" Botan said.

X X X X

Yusuke was pissed that Hiei came along. He just wanted to have fun at the festival. They were looking at all the games and foods that were available. Botan wanted a stuffed animal. Kurama won the game and gave her a huge stuffed animal. She jumped with joy and hugged Kurama. She even kissed him on the cheek. Yusuke looked at Hiei. No reaction.

Throughout the rest of the festival, Botan held Kurama's hand. Anyone passing by would have thought they were boyfriend and girlfriend. Kurama won a bunch of other prizes for Botan and Yusuke ended up carrying most of them. Since when was he her servant?

They passed by a booth selling ice cream. Hiei stopped at the booth. Kurama knew he wanted a chocolate scoop on a cone. Hiei, not having any human money, was about to take it by force. Kurama took out his wallet, but Yusuke beat him to it. He got Hiei three scoops and tousled his hair when he handed it to him. Hiei didn't mind. Kurama turned around and pretended not to see that. Hiei was happily licking his ice cream.

They stopped at another booth when they got hungry. Botan was feeding Kurama his food. Hiei made a disgusted sound. Was he jealous or just appalled by the display of affection?

Later, Hiei wanted to play a game. It was kind of like darts, except with little knives. Yeah, Hiei loved the game. Botan and Kurama were standing by the edge of the booth, hand in hand, when a knife whizzed past Botan, cutting off a few strands of her hair. Botan screamed and buried herself in Kurama's chest. They heard a little growl. They both looked at Hiei.

"My hand slipped." Hiei said. Hiei won a little plastic katana, which he burned to wax and threw in Botan's direction. Kurama chided him, but Hiei didn't seem to listen.

Later, they walked along the beach. Botan and Kurama held hands, but she wasn't leaning into his chest. It was nighttime and the moon was hanging above them. The sounds of the festival weren't too far off. Fireworks explode in the sky above, illuminating the night. They all watch the little explosions, enjoying the shapes and colors in the sky. After a while, they kept walking along the beach. Botan comments what a clear sky it is that night. They could see so many stars. Kurama points out a few constellations, holding her close so he could point her finger at the stars.

"I think I'm feeling better now." Hiei said, disturbing Botan and Kurama.

"Yeah, me too." Yusuke said.

"Those stupid fireworks gave me a headache." Hiei said, and turned to leave.

"W-wait, Hiei." Botan said. Hiei gave her a death glare. How dare she address him after smothering Kurama all night?

"Shouldn't you let Kurama check on your wounds first?" Botan asked.

"I'm fine. All my cuts are gone by now." Hiei said.

"Wait, she's right. Let me see." Kurama said. Hiei snarled at him.

"Don't touch me." Hiei said and disappeared. Kurama was about to chase him, but he turned around and looked at Botan.

"Um.. sorry the date has to end like this......" Kurama said.

"It's okay. Go after Hiei. Who knows what he'll do when he's mad." Botan said. Kurama smiled at her and ran off after Hiei.

"Yes! Hiei is definitely jealous!" Yusuke said.

"I know. I thought Hiei really didn't care, but this proves otherwise, right?" Botan said. Yes, their plan had finally worked!

"There she is!" a girl screamed.

"Huh?" Botan turned around to see who said that. There wasn't one girl, but many girls.

"Um.... Who are you all?" Yusuke asked.

"She's the girl. The one with Minamino-kun!" Another girl said.

"Yeah. She was holding hands with him." Another one said.

"You don't deserve to go out with him."

"He's too good for you!"

"How dare you pollute his aura with your filthy presence?!" Soon, they were all muttering angry insults at her. Then, they all charged after her.

"Um.... I think I'm going to look for Kurama and Hiei and check to see if they hooked up." Yusuke said.

"What? NO! Help me! The number one delinquent, Yusuke Urameshi, should scare them all off!" Botan pleaded.

"I don't think even I could hold them all off." Yusuke said. Botan shouted in frustration and then ran for her life. Who said humans needed protecting? They seem pretty strong when united for one cause (or one teenage obsession in this case).

Mission...........................................................success?

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A/N: There will be more chapters.