::Chapter 7:: Good Mental Help Is Hard To Find These Days
"Dead?" Nodoka looked at the small redheaded girl. 'Obviously she's mistaking me for someone else.' Nodoka thought, briefly wondering who she reminded the girl of before directing her gaze to the bald man holding a sign that said he was dead. Was he joking? Sometimes she did not understand that man, she'd forced him to make the strongest sort of a promise because of that, which is why she'd come to the Tendo dojo in the first place. "Where's our son?"
"Well, Nodoka, dear…" Genma started, then fell short with the glare and 'where' she said icily. "It's a long story honey. You'd better sit down." Genma looked up at Ranma "Why don't you go change and then get some tea for my wife."
'Change into a boy? Why?' Ranma thought as she headed to the kitchen. She grabbed one of the spare teapots that Kasumi had stocked up on. Three teapots in one day? That had to be a record. Ranma grabbed a glass as she waited for the kettle to fill, then she filled it and upended it over her head, triggering her curse.
'Why in the world did daddy want me to change into a boy?' Ranma thought as she waited for the water to heat up. 'What was that about a son? I'm an only child and I'm not a boy… well, not if I can help it.'
- - - - - - - - - -
Nodoka sat down facing her husband as the redheaded girl left. "Alright dear, what's going on? Why didn't you come home?" Nodoka asked with genuine concern.
"I-I thought we wouldn't be welcome after what happened to us on our training journey." Genma said, trying to explain, and in a way that wouldn't result in his sudden and immediate loss of life. "While Ranma and I were in China something happened to us." Genma said trying to slowly introduce her to the idea that things were different, and as such extraneous in regards to the promise he'd made, thereby ensuring the continuation of his life.
"Genma, it's our home, you'd always be welcome there… but why did you think you couldn't come home? Were you afraid of what I would say?" Nodoka asked and shifted the cloth wrapped sword which seemed to have Genma's eyes riveted to it. 'Could it be about that promise? How could Ranma not be manly?'
It wasn't that he hadn't tried, or that he'd thought he couldn't do it, it was just that he thought that he could help his boy to become a man among men… he'd tried and failed, it hurt him in more ways than one that his son was cursed and that he was totally ungrateful for the time and energy that he'd spent in training him to be the heir of the Anything Goes style. Genma sighed and tried to gather his thoughts calmly, it wouldn't do to let his emotions run away with him now… especially when they could easily get him killed.
When Genma settled into an uncomfortable silence Nodoka began to be slightly worried. She looked at him with genuine concern etched into her face and he seemed to flinch. "What do you mean? What happened dear?" Nodoka asked.
"We were cursed during our travels in China…" Genma hopped that she wouldn't fly off the handle… that she would be reasonable and see that this was completely out of their control, that it was fate, destiny, or something that wouldn't get them killed.
"Cursed?" Nodoka asked in that tone that was held by someone who didn't really believe what they were hearing. "How?"
"Ranma!!" Genma turned his head toward the kitchen and shouted, now would be the time to demonstrate the curses… he just hoped that things would turn out ok, but his sudden paling betrayed the image that crept into his mind of him slitting his own belly.
"Yes father!" Ranma emerged with the kettle and handed it to him when Genma gestured that he wanted it.
"Now go get a couple of buckets of cold water, ok?" Genma whispered to Ranma.
Nodoka raised an inquisitive eyebrow at the kettle and the sudden whispered conversation between Genma and that boy… 'was that Ranma? Could he be the child she'd last seen so many years ago?' Nodoka smiled, he certainly looked manly enough, why then would Genma be hesitant to bring him home and show him off? Things didn't add up, maybe it had to do with that curse Genma was babbling about.
Nodoka only wanted to understand what was going on, she hadn't seen her husband or boy in ten years and now they were acting very strange, very strange indeed, Nodoka amended as she saw the boy came back a moment later with several buckets of water, which judging from the speed at which they were produced must have been easily accessible.
Nodoka watched as Genma grabbed a bucket and dumped about half of it on himself… and promptly changed into a panda. Her eyes widened as she saw the panda pull out a sign reading 'See, I turn into a panda with cold water…'.
Then the panda reached out, grabbed the kettle and poured a little of the steaming hot water over himself, and turned back into Genma. "And hot water turns me back into a human." Genma finished, his head bowed as he continued, "Ranma's curse is worse than my own." flinging the rest of the bucket of water at Ranma suddenly.
Ranma just stood there and blinked a moment. "Daddy, if you wanted me to change you could have just asked me to…" Ranma said as 'he' reached over and poured enough hot water over herself to return her to her normal, un-cursed state.
Both Genma and Nodoka looked up at Ranma in shock, thought for very different reasons. Genma because the curse seemed to have suddenly been reversed, and Nodoka because standing before her was that redheaded girl. Nodoka fainted, barely being caught by a Genma that looked like he wanted to faint, but instead all he did was stare dumbly at Ranma.
- - - - - - - - - -
'I think it's this way…' Ryoga Hibiki thought to himself as he walked down the wrong hallway. 'I'm sure I should have gotten by there by now.' He looked down at the piece of paper again, the address of the psychiatrist and the directions were hastily written by a rushed doctor Tofu before he'd hurried out to take care of business… though Ryoga couldn't see what the several thousand yen would be required for his business. Ryoga sighed, it was just like his luck to get lost at a time like this… all he wanted to do was curl into a ball and cry, it was horrible, absolutely horrible!
He tried to keep his thoughts off it but it was like a train wreak, he wanted to look away but all he could do was stare with morbid fascinations at the horrific scene that played itself out in his mind yet again.
There he was sitting there, and suddenly he was falling… falling into Ranma's arms, Ranma in his girl form, who then kissed him!! He wanted to scream 'NOOOOO!!' but he couldn't as the scene quickly degraded into bits and pieces of fantasies, movies, and who knows what else… he wanted to pull out of the nightmare but it kept sucking him in, like a black hole… one of the most horrible ones was where he married Ranma and then… then… he couldn't bear to think of it, but the image of a scantily clad female Ranma literally throwing herself at him wouldn't be pried from his head… that was it! He couldn't stand it any more!
He destroyed several office walls as his head broke them into economy-sized pieces as he put his head through them. The pain dulled the thoughts and provided another focus of attention, although he was dimly aware of some people calling security while others sought cover from what they thought was an earthquake.
Finally, Ryoga came to his senses, he was laying on his back staring at the sun overhead, and being poked by a kid with a stick… 'Better outcome than before…' Ryoga thought as he pulled himself into a sitting position and coincidentally scarring off the kid. 'Definitely a better outcome than the last time…' Ryoga shuddered as he thought about waking up, in cursed form, in a meat packing plant.
"Where am I?" Ryoga asked aloud, but in a normal tone of voice as opposed to his normal shouts and curses as he looked about.
After staggering to his feet, and waiting for the world to quit taking such weird turns and dives, Ryoga pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket… on it seemed to be an address, the rest seemed to have been tattered beyond all recognition. 'Too bad.' Ryoga thought as he remorsefully looked at the poor, tattered paper.
Then the street sign caught his eye, it was the same street name as the address… and there was a building with the same number! He'd found it, it was a miracle!! Ryoga wanted to cry with sheer joy as he ran up the stairs and pulled the door off its hinges.
- - - - - - - - - -
"Oh-ha-ha-ha!!" Kodachi's laugh sent shivers down Sasuke's spine, but he forced himself to remain outwardly calm, suppressing the natural instinct to shudder even worse than when someone ran their nails across a blackboard.
He hated this, truly hated it to the core of his being, but it was necessary to Master Kuno that he do his best to serve Kodachi as well as himself. Most of the time it seemed as though it wouldn't present a problem, but it always happened when someone tried to server two masters. Love one and hate the other, Kodachi had fallen into the role of the hated master, while Tatewake filled the other.
Sasuke suppressed another shudder as Kodachi began to tell him of her latest plan to capture 'Ranma Darling's heart. If only he didn't feel like he would soon find himself actually bringing her his heart like the woodsman in that Snow White story he would have breathed a lot easier… but this seemed like one of her more insane and unstable days as was evidenced by Kodachi's near breakdown when she saw that some of her nail polish had chipped off.
After a few moments sitting in perfect stillness, it was better not to catch mistress Kodachi's eye when she was like this, Kodachi finally began to reveal her plan.
"With that red-headed hussy out of the way, Ranma Darling will be all mine!" Kodachi laughed again, though Sasuke was prepared this time. "Sasuke! You will make sure that nothing, and I mean nothing interferes with her marriage to that Hibiki boy."
Sasuke glanced up a moment to see a no-arguments face on Kodachi, that stifled the protest that she didn't really want to do that, but then again, who ever really did know what Kodachi wanted? "Yes mistress Kodachi."
Sasuke got out of her presence without scrambling, though only just barely. 'Damned if I do… damned if I don't… damn!' Sasuke thought as he made his way along the Kuno estate… only to be snagged by Tatewake Kuno himself.
"M-Master Kuno!?" Sasuke gasped as he was pulled along by his mighty master's hand. "What is it Master? You seem…"
"It is decided Sasuke!" Kuno seemed to hesitate a moment before continuing "You will rid my rooms of the pictures of the pig-tailed girl… nothing is to come between me and my beloved Akane Tendo! Is that understood?"
"Y-yes master!" Sasuke was stunned, this behavior, this decisiveness… could the house of Kuno finally be on its way to obtaining its former glory? Sasuke could only hope that is was indeed so.
- - - - - - - - - -
"What just happened? What about your curse?" Genma asked, true puzzlement playing across his features. 'When did Ranma's curse get switched? What could have switched it in the first place?'
"What are you talking about daddy?" Ranma asked with a similar puzzlement on her face. "My Nannichuan curse is acting like it always does… I turn into a boy with cold water and hot water turns me back into a girl."
Genma's eyes widened… this was strange, unbelievable… Ranma thought he was a she. Nodoka was going to kill him for sure now, unless… Genma smiled as thought coalesced and a plan began to form. It however sent chills down Ranma's spine.
"Why are you looking at me that way daddy?" Ranma said as she backed away, the gleam of insanity in her father's eye sent pure terror down her spine… it was like when her father saw a cat and was about to go into his neko-ken mode. "Daddy? Y-yo-you're scaring me Daddy!!"
The last word of Ranma's plea was drowned out by Genma's maniacal laughter.
- - - - - - - - - -
Ryoga settled back into one of the horribly uncomfortable chairs in the waiting room, he'd just finished handing in the reams of forms he'd filled out. Who would have guessed that getting mental help would have involved copious amounts of paperwork? Ryoga sighed and rubbed the palms into his bleary eyes as he thought that the only thing worse than having to read and fill out all those forms would be having to read and fill out all those forms when you had a phobia of forms. Thankfully his brain had been too deadened by all that paperwork to produce anymore visions of Ranma… for the time being anyway, so he wasn't going to complain.
Ryoga looked op as the door opened letting the trailing end of the conversation leak into the waiting room. "… so there's no reason for me to think she doesn't love me!? All I need to do is be persistent! Thank you doctor, thank you!!" some guy was saying as he walked out of the doctor's room and made his way to the receptionist to pay for his counseling session.
Ryoga could only follow him with a stare, it was Mousse, though with one of those cheap fake nose-and-moustache glasses replacing his normal coke-bottle ones. Ryoga was simply stunned that anyone would, or could, fail to recognize the myopic martial-artist… heck, even Ranma had the decency to change out of his normal attire for his disguises. Then the figure pushed the glasses up onto his forehead leaving the plastic-like nose and crumby moustache in place and Ryoga's eyeballs nearly popped out of their sockets at seeing that this wasn't really Mousse.
"Thank you Mr. Mo Sue, the doctor will see you again next Friday at three…" the receptionist was trying to give the near blind martial artist's look-alike a memo card, but he took a leaf from the brown wilted plant on the desk instead.
"Thank you." he said with a smile as he made his way out of the doctor's office, completely ignoring the loud sigh the receptionist gave his back as he left.
Ryoga got up and was trying to get a better look at the retreating form of the Mousse look-alike… 'That was just too weird…' was all that Ryoga could manage to think as he watched the spot the amazon's double had been moments before.
Ryoga was shaken from contemplating the scene when a head popped out of the doctor's and almost yelled "Next! A… Mr. Hibiki…"
- - - - - - - - - -
"I still don't get it..." Ranma said in a confused manner, she still hadn't quite recovered from her father's insane and near maniacal bout of laughter and this plan wasn't helping to put her at ease.
"It's simple son!!" Genma said in a tone that sounded more like it should be from an excited fanatic rather than a martial artist. "You see…" Genma started but was cut off by Ranma.
"I'm sorry to interrupt daddy, but why do you keep calling me son and boy? I'm a girl." Ranma tried to interject as politely as she could. It was almost as if her father had been replaced by some stranger that looked exactly like him.
"But Ranma you are a boy! I promised your mother that I'd train you to be a man amongst men…" Genma stole a glance to the still unconscious form of Nodoka across the room from where he was conversing with Ranma. He looked back at Ranma and decided to tell him about the seppuku pledge when he saw the doubt painted plainly on her features. "Before we left for China…" Genma began.
Ranma listened to the story with a warped and morbid sort of curiosity. Her mother was dead, she had left several years ago with her father on a two year training trip, but here it looked like her mother was alive and her father was spouting nonsense about their trip and it was all so… scary. 'What's happening here?' Ranma thought to herself as she looked earnestly at her father and tried desperately to understand, to figure out, what was going on. Ranma sighed, she didn't know what was going on but until she was sure it was wrong she would do as he asked, he was her father after all and her father would never intentionally harm her.
- - - - - - - - - -
"Ah, Mister Hibiki! Come in, come in!" The psychiatrist said beckoning him into his room. "I'm your psychiatrist, Dr. Sanzenin."
Ryoga entered the room and looked around. It was a bit on the small side, though with the price of office space in Tokyo he was certain that was unavoidable. The walls held several bookshelves and diplomas and up against one wall was the couch, a specially made one by the looks of it, it looked fairly strange but it was probably comfortable for sitting or laying. 'Now where have I heard the name Sanzenin before?' Ryoga thought, unable to place the name.
Ryoga settled comfortably into the couch, it was rather nice he noted as he relaxed and listened to the psychiatrist drone on about what the purposes of the sessions would be and a brief overview of some of the procedures that would be used in the following sessions.
"First off, instead of just plunging into what set you off I'll need some background… Dr. Tofu did give me some information, not nearly enough mind you, and I'd still like to hear what you have to say about it."
"Well, it all started when Ranma kissed me…" Ryoga began, shuddering involuntarily before Dr. Sanzenen interrupted.
"Now, could you explain what your relationship is with this Ranma?" The doctor asked as he flipped through a notebook that had suddenly appeared in his hand with a pen ready in his other hand.
"Ranma and I are enemies!" Ryoga virtually yelled, then smugly crossed his arms and began to smile as he thought of the tortures he'd put Ranma through the next time they met.
"I see, that explains why you're so disturbed about the incident. So then, why did Ranma kiss you?" Dr. Sanzenen prodded.
Ryoga's face fell as the doctor's words brought back the memory of what had happened, and the indirect way the doctor had referenced it had, against all probable intentions, forced Ryoga to relive the whole thing once again.
Doctor Sanzenin noted the sudden change in his patient, from being outwardly angry, almost bursting to a subdued calm as he paled and began to mumble. Dr. Sanzenin couldn't help but smile as he asked "What was that? Could you speak up, I can't hear you."
"I said I don't know." Ryoga said curtly, the way some people try to avoid a painful subject. He really didn't want to talk about it… as the doctor probed and it became obvious that he would have to divulge detailed information about Ranma… information that could very easily be taken the wrong way. Ryoga found himself telling the doctor about Ranma, always referring to Ranma in the male and not even trying to explain Jusenkyo curses. It would be easy to prove that they existed and demonstrate how they worked, but it was not something that Ryoga would ever do willingly.
It was when Ryoga found himself talking about the bread feud they'd participated in junior high that Dr. Sanzenin interrupted him to ask about his family, where they were at the time and why he couldn't have brought his lunch form home.
"I see," Dr. Sanzenin said as he entered something in his notebook, "Go on."
Ryoga then related several stories of himself and Ranma and then found himself reiterating the story of… well, talking about the thing that had happened earlier… the whole marriage proposal thing.
"I think I'm beginning to see your situation… you're gay… homosexual, I mean. " Dr. Sanzenen said as he looked up from his notebook and smiled.
Ryoga felt his jaw drop, no, no he wasn't. It simply wasn't possible. Ryoga Hibiki could never be gay, in either sense of the word. "N… no."
"Yes." Dr. Sanzenin lowered the notebook and fully faced Ryoga, "Your fixation on that boy, Ranma, is just one of the manifestations. You see, it's all so perfectly clear. You're attracted to him, that's what causes your fixation, and yet you hate yourself for these feelings even though you aren't aware of them and that causes your repression. Your depression comes from your never having, or being able to have, your own desires fulfilled…"
Ryoga tried to shake his head in the negative, or put his hands over his ears, or scream, but he was frozen in place by the abject feelings of horror and dread that clawed at his very soul.
Dr. Sanzenin sighed before continuing, "Your anger is actually a byproduct of the struggle between your desire for Ranma and your hatred for desiring him, and finally your constant inability to find him, your ability to 'get-lost' is simply your subconscious trying to spare you this pain by running away… but that will never help anything, will it?"
"No… I suppose it won't." Ryoga sighed, entirely unsure of himself, a small voice in the back of his head cried out that this was wrong, all wrong, but Ryoga quickly shut it out of his mind.
Dr. Sanzenen smiled, it was always toughest to have things shaken so badly in one's core-being. "I think we may be able to do something about it though." Dr. Sanzenen offered.
"Really?" Ryoga asked in a voice that belonged to a small lost child rather than a strong teen-aged martial-artist, "What?"
- - - - - - - - - -
"Ok, you remember your role?" Genma asked frantically as Nodoka began to stir.
"Yes daddy." Ranma said rather unenthusiastically before pouring some of the cold water on herself triggering the change into a guy.
Genma attended to Nodoka as she revived and as gently as he could. It wouldn't do for him to shock her too much, that was Ranma's job, he was there to support Nodoka in this time of emotional trouble, even if his plan was the cause of it. Some things just couldn't be helped.
- - - - - - - - - -
Kasumi hummed to herself as she left the house, she used the back door in the kitchen to leave not wanting to interrupt the Saotome reunion. Although she was wondering wether or not to set an extra place or two less. It wouldn't hurt to be prepared for more, she thought, and besides the family could always eat any leftovers.
It was a good day to go shopping Kasumi thought as she smiled and waved at a vendor. The fish was good today, quite a fresh catch and reasonably priced and after purchasing it she found all the spices she'd wanted on discount. Definitely a good day, Kasumi thought as she bought twice what she normally would have. Kasumi waved a friendly goodbye as she stepped out of the shop and into someone hard enough to surprise her into dropping the groceries.
"Oh my, I'm terribly sorry." Kasumi said as she bowed politely before kneeling to retrieve the fallen food. 'Good thing we didn't need eggs.' Kasumi thought as she did so.
"Oh! That's quite all right!" She heard the other say with a funny lisp as he too knelt down to retrieve the groceries. Something about that voice struck her as oddly familiar, so she looked to see who it was… and when she did she let out a startled 'eek!' and flung the groceries that she'd already recovered into the air.
"Oh dear!" Ryoga exclaimed as he caught the falling foodstuffs with his excellent martial-arts trained reflexes.
It really was Ryoga, Kasumi had been hoping otherwise, but the way he caught the falling groceries proved it to her. He was in a tight black t-shit with long sleeves that terminated in pink ruffles and baby-blue pants. The shirt revealed the Lost Boy's well-muscled chest and arms, but that was nothing the way the pants clung to his lower body. His movements were disturbing, to say the least, especially the way he flung his wrist limply and giggled as he asked "Do you believe in true love?" complete with the stereotypically homosexual lisp. In fact everything about him now seemed to scream that stereotype, especially the cute, fuzzy bunny slippers. It was as wrong on him as a Speedo is on a fat old man.
Kasumi was about to ask what Ryoga was doing dressed like that when he suddenly fell to the ground with an exuberant old man carrying a large pack obviously stuffed with stolen panties, bras, and other unmentionables. Happosai let out another of his trade mark "what a haul!" shouts before he bounded off again. The groceries Ryoga had caught were smashed under his body of course, and as he started to get up another body fell on him, crushing the groceries again and knocking the wind out of Ryoga.
"What a haul! What a haul!!" Hiroshi yelled as he got up and quickly shoved some of the panties that had fallen from his pack back in it before bounding off in the direction that the master had gone.
"What can I make with fish-paste?" Kasumi thought aloud as she reflected on how she was doubly, or was it triply, glad that she hadn't gotten eggs, undoubtably by now they would have all broken.
Ryoga just moaned as he rolled over and tried to get his breath back. "Is it over yet?" he asked immediately before Daisuke came running up and tripping landed on Ryoga, knocking what little breath he'd regained out.
Daisuke staggered to his feet panting, "What a… what a… what a… haul?" Daisuke's eyes widened as he saw Happosai and Hiroshi running quickly from view. "Wait for me master!!" He shouted as he scrambled forward almost tripping again as he followed the other two, out of shape and uncoordinated it looked like.
"Wh-wha-what wa-was that?" Ryoga asked as he struggled to breathe.
"Oh, Ranma's friends… they look like they're having a fun time, don't you think?" Kasumi asked in reply, she really didn't want to get into any discussion involving Happosai, his new apprentices, or their 'training methods'. Kasumi looked back down at Ryoga and offered to help him up, he reached for her hand but before they touched a hoard of enraged women arrived in a stampede, beat Ryoga Hibiki to a pulp, and left in a huff not even bothering to remove the pair of panties that had somehow found their way onto Ryoga's head.
"Ry-Ryoga!" Kasumi said as she looked in horror, "Oh, my!" The mangled mush that had once been human seemed to cry out for help and Kasumi couldn't ever bear to see such a little defenseless creature in pain. Briefly she wondered if the butcher would let her borrow a knife to put him out of his misery.
- - - - - - - - - -
"Ohhhh…" Nodoka moaned as she stirred. She'd just had the most horrible dream. She'd gone to see Genma's old friend, Soun Tendo, to see of he'd heard anything from Genma and Ranma recently. However, when she got there she found that Genma and Ranma were a panda and a girl respectively. 'What an odd dream…' Nodoka thought as she mentally laughed at herself and nuggled deeper into the warm body holding her… 'Warm body!?' Nodoka thought as her eyes shot open.
There in front of her was the red haired Ranma from her dream, that meant… "Oh, no."Nodaka almost whimpered as she fought against the tears. 'It's true! All of it!'
"Dear, are you awake?" She heard Genma ask as he held on to her, first to comfort her and keep her from wanting to kill him, and second to restrain her and keep her from getting the sword that was her family heirloom and killing them with it.
"Genma…" Nodoka said, unsure of what to say or do, it wasn't like this happened to every family. 'Or do they? "Oh, yes today father's a panda, brother's a girl, sister's a squid, and heck, the family cat is a goldfish now!" Yes, scenes like that were common not only in Japan, but in the rest of the world as well!' Nodoka thought caustically as she teetered on the edge of hysteria.
"There now, don't get all excited." Genma said in a calm, reassuring voice even though he felt himself start to break out in a cold sweat. "I'll find a way to fix it."
"Really?" Nodoka asked, grasping to the thin hope that Genma offered. "How are you going to fix this?"
"I don't know yet." Genma said in all honesty, oddly it felt good to get this weight off his shoulders… he just had to give Ranma the signal, and then try to explain his fabrication to Nodoka, why was he feeling a twinge of regret at going back to deceit?
Ignoring the desire to stay honest with Nodoka right now, he nodded at Ranma, signaling the start of his plan, and possibly a way to explain any 'unmanliness' that Ranma exhibited.
- - - - - - - - - -
"Where are wh going?" Ryoga asked in a voice that managed to be whiny and nasally and added to Kasumi's growing irritation with his newfound lisp.
"Back to this Dr. Sanzenin!" Kasumi exclaimed. She didn't normally do anything violent but she was definitely going to give this doctor a piece of her mind, especially after hearing the whole story with that infuriating lisp. 'He's in for a serious tongue lashing!'
Ryoga held on to Kasumi's hand tightly and rad to nearly run to keep up with her purposeful walk. He looked around and wondered what all the people were looking at, the way they turned and stared seemed to indicate that it was something strange. The way they cringed or flintched as they made eye-contact with him suggested that it was him that they found to be so odd. This was a disturbing line of thought, Ryoga was really extremely self-conscious, that was why he could never talk around girls he liked… Ryoga sighed as he thought of Akane and then a moment later Ranma-chan.
'Wait!' Ryoga thought to himself, 'This is confusing! If I'm homosexual then why am thinking about girls?' Ryoga thought it over and couldn't come up with any good explanation, in fact, now that he thought about it he'd never thought about any guy like that… until Ranma-chan, but then Ranma was acting like a girl then… so could that be it. Could Ranma's gender confusion have impacted him that much? If that was the case, then he owed Dr. Sanzenin some serious pain. Ryoga thought angrily, 'How could he do that to me? Doctors aren't supposed to lie like that. How could he trick me like that when I trusted him?'
Before he realized it Kasumi had dragged him into the office. In fact it surprised the secretary so much that she nearly put her eye out while touching up her mascara. "What are you doing bursting in here like that?" the secretary demanded as she tried futilely to keep the tears from ruining her mascara job.
"What is it you think you're doing!?" Kasumi angrily demanded as she wheeled around on the other woman. "Where do you people get off doing something like this," Kasumi gestured to Ryoga, "to someone you were supposed to treat!? How could you ruin him so thoroughly!?"
Ryoga stood and watched the verbal battle escalate in amazement, he'd never seen Kasumi angry, much less this angry. Now that he thought about it Kasumi looked quite pretty as well… 'Wait a minute…' Ryoga thought to himself, 'First Akane, then Ranma-chan, and now Kasumi I'd better quit this before I end up like that idiot Mikado…' Ryoga groaned as it hit him Mikado Sanzenin, probably the doctor's son, which would explain a lot.
"What's going on out here?" Dr. Sanzenin asked in a perturbed tone as he opened the door to his office and drew everyone's attention.
Dr. Sanzenin was wearing a pink tutu that was a size too small and a white veil that looked to have come off of a wedding gown designer's showcase… and had enough green eyeshadow on to send Mimi from the Drew Carry Show into shock.
Kasumi and the secretary stared in shock while Ryoga didn't know what to do. Screaming because he'd taken advice from this guy seemed like a good start, as did blaming it all on Ranma, but somehow Ryoga felt that just that wouldn't be enough. Sure, the guy needed pounding, but how could he draw it out so that the 'good doctor' would feel it in the most excruciating of ways? Ryoga reached up to scratch his head as he thought of ways to punish the tutu-wearing freak-of-nature that stood before him now when his hand encountered something around his head that wasn't his bandanna… he pulled at it and found a pair of women's panties in his hand. Ryoga's eyes bulged out as he remembered half the town had seen him as Kasumi had dragged him here… how could thing get worse?
The secretary burst out laughing, sending Ryoga into an embarrassed rage that she didn't notice, the doctor, the highly-respected doctor! This was just too funny.
Dr. Sanzenin shot a glare that went completely unnoticed by it's target at his secretary. "You…" Dr. Sanzenin spoke as he shook with barely contained outrage, "You're fired!"
The poor secretary tried to stop laughing, but she just burst into more uncontrolled laughter as she tried. She couldn't afford to lose this job now, even if it involved being under him. The secretary gasped for breath as she pointed at him and tried to get a hold of herself, trying to say something but failing.
Kasumi however looked where the other woman ws pointing, behind the doctor towards a shadow… shaped like a ninja!
- - - - - - - - - -
Sasuke dropped down from the ceiling in the darkness of the office onto the doctor's desk and shivered even though it was actually kind of hot in the office. He didn't really want to kill this doctor, but then again mistress Kodachi did say to get rid of everything that would interfere with Ranma's marriage to Ryoga… and a doctor that brainwashed Mr. Hibiki into thinking he was gay qualified in the diminutive ninja's mind.
It wasn't like he had any moral qualms about killing after all, he was a trained ninja… so why did he hesitate like this? Taking a deep breath and gathering his resolve the ninja leapt with his garrote line at the doctor.
- - - - - - - - - -
Dr. Sanzenin never knew what hit him, and neither did Sasuke. They both collapsed in a pile as three figures careened into the ninja and his prey only to continue on and grab the panties Ryoga was holding in his hand before disappearing again chanting "What a haul!"
Nobody moved for several moments that were occupied only by what seemed to be a hollow wind that blew through the doctor's office.
"What was that?" The secretary asked, breaking the awkward silence.
"I don't know." Ryoga answered, baffled by what had just happened, maybe he should just leave all this craziness behind, go on a long training journey or something.
"You don't want to know." Kasumi offered, she shuddered when she thought of how all three seemed to be picking up speed and energy. Nothing good was going to come from those three, she just knew it. "Believe me, you don't want to know."
- - - - - - - - - -
When the doctor finally came around he saw that homosexual Hibiki boy's face and the expression of malice the boy wore did nothing to reassure the doctor, nothing at all.
"M-Mr. Hibiki!" The doctor said in a disgustingly sweet voice that was matched only by a slimy smile. "I thought you were going out on the town with your new identity and self-confidence."
"I changed my mind." Ryoga growled at the man and threw him into the middle of the office.
Ryoga marched toward the doctor, not quickly, but slowly building the malevolence and venom with each step he took. There would be no miraculous rescue for the doctor today, not even the merciful garrote Sasuke would have provided, there would only be this revenge.
Before Ryoga reached the doctor Kasumi held out her hand and held Ryoga back for a moment while she asked a question that had been bugging her since she'd heard Ryoga's story. "Why? Why did you do that to Ryoga?"
Dr. Sanzenin looked up at the woman, then back at Ryoga, he sighed, he had nothing to lose really. "I had to do something to keep myself amused while the golf course is closed for renovations."
Author's Notes: Um, nothing really, sorry this chapter's late… I rewrote it about seven times, and I'm still not quite satisfied with it. I hope you are though.
Chris Stalis - Is this going to be more of a "standard" ranma fanfic, where you attempt to create situations that would be typical of the cannon Ranma universe, or are you going to be throwing caution to the winds and catapulting the cast into completely unforseen territories? By unforseen, I mean suddenly going up into space, having a fantasy world come to life, joining the military... et cetra.
Well Chris, for the most part this story will stick to the 'typical cannon'… However, all I have to say is Beware the Side-Stories, I would say the Ides of March, but March is over, and I don't think you'd want to wait until next year for the side stories to come out as they'll be kinda tangential chapters. (The side stories will delve into those 'unforseen territories'… btw, thanks for the ideas I'll try'n use them in at least one side-story.) I do have to warn you, Joe will be making an appearance in one of the side-stories… JOE!!
mnk - … and poor Ryouga in the original world… I'd be so confused I can't wait for you to update I need more!
Yep, mnk, here's your update and as you can see Ryoga is confused… and getting more confused all the time. Poor guy.
Comments & Criticisms are