Kai vs. Goro
Disclaimer: I still own nothing
Note: To understand this you will probably have to have read the last chapter.
( Scene: back at the temple.)
Kai: Look at me, I've got white stripes on my cheeks and have Raiden's staff!
Goro: Shut the hell up so we can start the fight!
Nolan Bushnell: Battle 1, Fight!
Kai smacks Goro in the face with his staff. Goro then lifts Kai up and throws him in the air. He comes down with so much force that they fall through the ground. It shows a big ape like creature, a tied up woman, and a fat italian man.
Goro: Ok, now where the fuck are we?
Bushnell: This is an arcade game called Donkey Kong ™.
Kai: Wtf?!?!?! He's not a Donkey!
Mario bitchslaps him.
Goro: Ok, so what is this game about?
Mario: We-a have-a to rescue my-a girl-a-friend, Pauline, from-a Donkey Kong-a!
Kai: STFU!
Kai smacks Mario's head off with his staff.
Goro: For once, you had a good idea, now let's go rescue Pauline!
Bushnell: Just watch out for the fire and barrels.
Kai: Sure thing, fuckface.
Goro and Kai then start going up the ladders.
Kai: Ow! Fuck, a stupid barrel hit me!
Goro: Quit being such a pussy and start climbing up again to save Pauline!
They are finally at the top, right next to Pauline.
Kai: Why the fuck are we even doing this?
Goro: Oh yeah, good point.
Goro then throws Pauline off of the level.
Donkey Kong: KONG! KONG! KONG!
Kai whacks Kong with the staff. Kong gets mad and throws Kai off of the level.
Bushnell: Goro wins, ANIMALITY! Round 2, Fight!
Goro just casually walks up to Donkey Kong and throws him off of the thing.
The world of Donkey Kong then started falling down at a neck breaking speed. They all landed safely in a very funny looking world. They were in Super Mario Brothers 3!
Goro: Ok, not again! Where the fuck are we!
Bushnell: You are in the world of the Super Mario Bros.™ This particular game is called Super Mario Bros. 3.™
Kai: Wait a second, Mario? That pecker from Donkey Kong?
Goro: Yes, I believe so.
Mario: It's-a me a Mario!
Goro throws him off of the level.
Bushnell: In this game you need to defeat a dragon-like dinosaur named Bowser to protect Mario's girlfriend, Princess Peach.
Kai: God damn that Mario guy is a whore.
Goro: Fuck, sweet, he is also part Dragon, he might be like, related to me or something! We have to go fucking find him man! That would be awesome if he is, then we can rape peach and Kill mario again! Yay!
Goro, Kai, and Bushnell start jumping through the levels without even noticing the various objects in the game.( Koopas, Goombas, Hammer Bros. Coins, etc.)
The group finally reaches Bowser where they start to talk to him.
Bowser: What do you want!
Goro and Bowser exchange strange looks. Love music starts playing.
Goro: Grandpa?
Bowser: Grandson?
Kai smacks Bowser with the staff and he goes flying into the lava.
Goro: ï
Goro starts balling.
Bushnell gives Kai an angry look.
Kai: What the fuck did I do?
Bushnell: ï You killed Bowser, you bastard!
Goro: Ya, you killed my Grandpa! I fucking hate you!
Kai: Look, Bowsers back!
Goro: How?
Bushnell: aha! Bowser gets three lives just like mario.
Goro: Grandpa?
Bowser: Grandson?
Kai: Pussy?
Kai whacks Bowser with the staff and he goes flying into the lava.
Goro: What the fuck!
Kai: Sorry. He'll be back in a few minutes anyway.
(Screen Caption: A few minutes later.)
Kai is tied up to the wall.
Kai: This is a hate crime! I plead the fifth!
Bowser: Shut up!
Bowser throws a rock at Kai's head.
Bowser: But what about Mario? He still has two lives left.
Goro: Oh crap, when he gets here we will kill him so that you don't lose your last life.
Bushnell: That might not be to easy, he is a high jumper.
Kai: High on what? Crack or Cocaine?
Goro: Shut the fuck up Kai, he means he can jump up high into the air, not that he's stoned!
Kai: Okay.
All of the sudden Mario appears through the door.
Mario: It's a me, a Mario!
Goro: Shut up stupid Italian! (sorry if I offended any Italians.)
Goro then throws Mario into the lava pit.
Bushnell: Now it is 1 life to 1 life. We need to kill Mario or else Bowser will be gone forever!
Bowser: Or else you could reset the game.
Kai: Or else I could throw my staff at you and knock you into the lava.
Mario comes running in and jumps over all of their heads and lands right behind Bowser. He pushes him in. Mario then falls in too.
Mario: ahhhh, Mama – Mia!
Goro: Goddammit, Mario, you killed my grandpa!
Bushnell: He's not your Grandpa!
Kai: yeah, he's just a giant pussy.
Giant Pussy: Hey that's offensive to my people!
Kai: Sorry Mrs. Pussy.
Giant Pussy: That's Miss Pussy to you, sir!
Giant Pussy leaves.
(Scene: Back outside of Bowser's castle.)
Goro: I can't believe that Bowser wasn't actually my grandpa.
Bushnell: Your actual grandpa is Shigeru Miyamato, he did, infact invent Mario games. And if he is your grandpa, that must mean that Bowser is your cousin.
Goro: Why the fuck are we talking about Mario?
Kai: What do you mean?
Goro: I mean, this is Mortal Kombat this is not a Mario game.
Bushnell: He's right. Battle 2, FIGHT!
Kai once again uses his staff and smacks Goro over the head with it, Goro falls over a ledge. The whole screen breaks. They then all start falling.
Goro: Ahhhhhhh, goddammit Kai, now were falling into a different world again!
Kai: Sorry Goro.
They are then shown falling all of the way down. The screen then raveals that they are in the world of pong. They once again start fighting.
Kai: What the fuck is wrong with this place it is all like black and white. Oh well, lets fucking fight!
Bushnell: Wait, you can't fight in Pong! It is my greatest creation, just play the game, don't wreck it!
Goro: Fine, but if I don't have fun I will continue the fight. I will most likely not have fun but I will play.
They start playing, goro is on the left paddle, and Kai is on the right paddle. Goro scores 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 times! Goro wins the game!
Kai: Stupid fucking piece of crap game!
Kai punches Goro to provoke the fight. Goro is up for the fight. He hits Kai back, and they end up brawling all around the game.
Bushnell: Ahhhhh, my fucking game, your ruining it! Goddammit! Ahhhhhhhh, fuck!
Goro then takes the left paddle and smashes Kai's head off with it, thus being transported back to the Mortal Kombat Temple.
Goro: Finally, I am back here at the temple.
Pinklet: Who won the fight Goro?
Goro: Well, dumbass, I'm here aren't I?
Pinklet: Yeah, what does that have to do with the fight?
Goro: Well the loser of the fight dies, and I'm not dead, am I? So I won the fucking fight, dickhole.
Pinklet: Okay, good job.
Next Chapter: Kabal vs. Kintaro.