DISCLAIMER: We don't own the Marauders, J.K.R. does!
~*~*~ Chapter Eight: The Malfoy Secret Family Recipe ~*~*~
Sirius stood in the shadows eyeing the corridor. Under his breath he murmured the Mission Impossible theme song. He lowered his murmurings as a teacher crossed the corridor and went into a classroom. Seizing his chance, Sirius completed a summersault into another patch of shadows on the opposite side of the corridor. He held up his fist, to show his partner in crime to wait where he was. The professor that entered a room only a few moments earlier, exited and headed up a set of stairs. Sirius waved behind him for Remus to cross the hallway. Deep in the shadows Sirius had left but a moment ago, Remus emerged. He looked left, then right. Seeing that the corridor was empty, he too completed a summersault to the shadows that Siris stood in. Both Marauders high-fived and brook into grins.
"What is it my sweet? Are students out of bed at this time of the night? I hope they are . . . I got a lovely set of shackles in the dungeon waiting." Filch said to Mrs. Noris. The cat 'meowed' and continued on its way towards Sirius and Remus.
"You got a plan?" Sirius asked Remus. Remus shook his head.
"Alright . . . I'll have to improvise . . ." Siri said as he rubbed his hands together. He dropped his voice a few levels and began to talk very slowly.
"Who . . dares . . to . . disturb . . the Bloody . . Baron . . at this . . hour!?" Remus swore under his breath and whacked Sirius in the shoulder.
"Uhh . . . uhh . . . it's just me . . . I mean Filch," he stuttered. Remus stopped smacking Sirius, who began shaking out his robes.
"Well . . . what are you waiting for?!!?" Remus whispered hurriedly to Sirius. Sirius turned his back to Remus.
"That hurt my feelings! Whenever *I* have a plan you either say it is stupid or hit me. And it hurts!" Sirius whispered back, adding sniffling and flicking away an imaginary tear. Remus' face softened and he approached Sirius.
"Would it helped if I said I was sorry?" Remus asked to Sirius' back.
"No." Sirius whispered. Remus snapped his fingers in frustration.
"Ohh! How about I buy you candy when we go to Hogsmead!" Remus whispered. Sirius whirled around and grabbed Remus' had, shaking it.
"You got yourself a deal!" Sirius whispered excitedly, no sign of tears on his face. Remus growled but Sirius ignored him.
"Then . . . be gone!" Sirius shouted in the low voice. Filch jumped back from where he was standing, now a few feet closer than where he had been moments before.
"Come. Let's leave the Bloody Baron in peace my sweet." Filch said quickly, before dashing off into a secret corridor. Mrs. Norris hissed, but followed. Both Marauders let out a sigh of relief.
Minutes later Remus and Sirius arrived at the ladder to Professor Trelawney's classroom. Now able to talk, Remus stopped Sirius.
"You prat! You weren't even crying!" Remus said to his friend, who just stood there smiling.
"But, I got you just the same. And you owe me candy!" Sirius shouted in victory. Remus muttered 'prat' under his breath, but left it at that.
"Okay, here's the plan. I go up first and hold the trapdoor open for you. When we get up there, look for a green chest by the fireplace. Were going to have to break it open. Your stuffed wolf, Woofies, will be in there. Grab it and we will run back to Gryffindor Tower!" Sirius said excitedly. Remus frowned.
"How do you know it will be in a chest?" Remmy asked. Sirius blushed.
"Because that's where she put Mr. Bunnikins when she took him hostage." He admitted sadly.
"And why did she take him hostage?" Remus asked slowly.
"Well, earlier this week she took him, because she wanted me to set the two of you up. I, of course, would never do such a hideous thing to a friend, so I Snuck up here and found him myself. She ran after me shrieking when she discovered him gone. That was why I stayed in the tower all Saturday." Sirius explained. Remus nodded his head and motioned for Sirius to start climbing the ladder.
~*~*~
"We are deep in the heart of the enemy's lair . . . who knows how long we will survive?" Sirius said as he led Remus in the direction of the trunk. Remus grinned, but said nothing. To tell you the truth, he was scared of this women and any place she inhabited. Within moments, Sirius found the trunk.
"Alright Remmy! Let's work some magic!" Sirius said to Remus.
"Alohomora!" Remus shouted at the chest. Nothing happened. Sirius began to scratch his head.
"Oh yea! Sorry about that." Sirius apologized as he handed his friend a crowbar. "Magic doesn't work on the trunk." Remus rolled his eyes but took the crowbar anyway. He wedged it into the crack between the lids and pushed with all his might. The trunk flew open . . . but it was empty.
"Looking for this?" A voice said from behind them. Both turned around, a look of sheer terror on their faces.
"Ahhhhhhh! It's her!!!!!! Run!!" Sirius shouted as he sprinted towards the ladder. Realizing Remus wasn't behind him; he sprinted back and grabbed him. Now both men were racing for their lives, with Trelawney right behind them.
"I can't believe you dragged me into this!" Sirius shouted to Remus.
"What? Me! This was your idea!!!!" Remus shouted back. They turned a corner and lost Trelawney, but they could still hear her voice.
"Remember Remus. Friday you will be all mine!" Trelawney's voice ricochet off the walls of the corridor.
"Damn that was scary! I almost wet my pants!" Sirius shouted back. Remus fell to the ground laughing.
"What are you doing? We got to keep running?!?!" Sirius shouted in hysterics.
"We're on the other side of the castle! I'm pretty sure we've lost her! Now what were you saying about wetting yourself?" Remus asked as a new set of laughter broke free.
"Well at least I don't have to date her!" Sirius said with a superior tone. Remus stopped laughing and turned extremely pale.
"Isn't Friday tomorrow?" Remus asked quietly. Sirius nodded solemnly. They were in for a long day.
~*~*~
On Friday classes passed extremely quickly, much to Remus' disappointment. It seemed to hum a death march and he was the one marching. All day long people apologized that he had to actually date 'that hag'. He accepted each one, but it didn't make the upcoming night any better. And so, dinner came and Remus left for Hogsmead with a very excited Trelawney. Remus looked as though he was going to puke, which is certainly understandable. But, little did Remus know, a group of intellectuals were working at that very moment to foil Trelawny's evil scheme.
~*~*~
"So . . . evil butterflies are out. Too risky, you never know what they're thinking with those darting eyes of theirs." Sirius said, his voice growing more sinister with each word. Ron and Harry nodded their heads in agreement, while Draco and Hermione shared confused expressions.
"How about we just go and see what's going on and come up with a plan when we get there?" Draco said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Sirius jumped up in excitement.
"I've got it!! How about we go and see what we're dealing with, before we make a plan!" Sirius shouted triumphantly. Ron and Harry jumped up next to him, shouting how good his plan was. Draco was about to point out that he had said that same thing two seconds earlier, but Hermione stopped him. Sirius got so little intellectual glory, it might be better if he did believe it was his plan. And so, onward they marched. To The Three Broomsticks!!!!!
~*~*~
"What's happening?" Sirius questioned as all five of them huddled around a window. Ron shrugged and accidentally hit Draco in the ribs. Accidentally . . .
"Oww! You dolt! Watch what you're doing!" Draco snapped. Ron grinned angelically and turned back to the window. Hermione patted Draco on the back, but continued watching.
"Drat!" Hermione shouted a few seconds later. Everyone turned to her. "A new couple just came in and they're being led over here! They'll be blocking our view! Oh, and they might blow our cover." Hermione added. Sirius began to ponder and within seconds he stated that he had a plan. He moved to go to the back of the restaurant and Ron and Harry followed without question. Draco and Hermione exchanged scared looks, but chased to keep up with him.
~*~*~
On the ground of the kitchen, behind a counter, lay three unconscious waiters and two waitresses. Sirius, Harry, Ron, and Hermione stood circled around one of the storage rooms, waiting for Draco to emerge. They were all dressed in their uniforms, except him and were waiting impatiently. He shouted that he wasn't coming out, but Sirius threatened to throw a dungbomb in and smoke him out if he stayed in there. Reluctantly, Draco emerged in one of the short dresses one of the waitresses had been wearing. He looked extremely embarrassed and totally pissed off.
"I am NOT going out there like this!! I refuse! I'm a Malfoy for, bloody crying out loud! I have my honor to protect!" Draco shouted. Everyone 'shushed' him and he grew quiet, save for a few murmurings of curses. Harry and Ron were trying not to laugh and Hermione was trying to comfort him, while laughing. Sirius stood in shock, but seconds later pulled himself out of it and took a picture from a camera he had been hiding behind his back. Draco yelled and launched himself at Sirius. Hermione managed to pull him back after a few seconds (and after Sirius promised to get him a waiter's uniform).
Two minutes later six unconscious people were pilled in the kitchen. Sirius, Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Draco now stood near the silver kitchen wear, adjusting ties and such. Well, Sirius was more admiring himself than anything. When they were happy with their appearances, they all turned to head out into the restaurant. On the way to the doors Sirius turned to Draco and asked, "Better?" To which Draco replied, "Much."
~*~*~
Meanwhile Remus sat at the table with Trelawney, exchanging peaceful and flirtatious conversation (on HER side, anyway).
"Shut the bloody hell up! I'm balancing here!" Remus said to Trelawney, never taking his eyes off of the glasses of wine he was balancing in each hand. He had earlier decided that if he balanced the glasses for the rest of dinner and said she could not break his concentration, he wouldn't have to talk to her. She didn't seem to care much for this theory. He had now been balancing for a half an hour and dinner wasn't going by any faster. Trelawney kept trying to draw him into conversation . . . mainly about how her 'inner eye' pictured the ending of this date; much to Remus' appall. (This is where Anrion must add in a horrified scream)
"So Remus, why don't we just cut the small talk and say what we really feel," Trelawney asked. Remus' eyes grew as big as saucers and he gave up on balancing the wine glasses. He downed both of them in a minute and asked a passing waiter for more.
"We don't have to play games . . . I can see what you feel for me in your eyes." Trelawney leaned forward across the table.
"You asked for more wine?" Sirius asked, coming out of nowhere. In Remus' shock, he didn't even recognize his buddy.
"Something strong perhaps?" Sirius offered. Remus nodded his head at an alarming rate. "You there," Sirius said, pointing to Draco, "Get the wine." Draco glared, but went to the kitchens anyway.
~*~*~
Back in the kitchens, Draco searched for a bottle. Grabbing one, he stopped for but a second to look at the label. He smiled at his choice.
Dracaenas: The Finest Wine You Will Ever Taste Made From the Choicest Ingredients at Malfoy Manor Once You Go Dracaenas, You Never Go Back (Insert Evil Laughter Here)
~*~*~
"Here you go, my good sir." Draco said to Remus as he poured the glass. Remus nodded curtly and downed the glass within a few moments. Draco looked shocked; no one had ever been able to drink his father's wine THAT fast.
"Would you like another one sir?" Draco asked. Remus looked at the bottle of wine with eyes as big as saucers.
"YES! YES! GET ME DRUNK!!" Remus said as he lunged for the bottle of wine. Grabbing it from Draco's hands, he started drinking straight from it. Ten minutes later the bottle of wine was gone and no one had moved from their spots. Remus looked a little tipsy, but was still sitting up straight. Trelawney was gazing at Remus with love (Why? No one's quite sure); Draco stood there with his jaw dropping; and Sirius looked at his good buddy with admiration. Harry, Ron, and Hermione sat crouched behind a plant, watching the scene unfold.
"Wow Remmy! Who knew you had it in you?!" Sirius asked as he laughed. Fortunately Remus was too smashed to notice that the strange waiter somehow knew his name, and Trelawney was too caught up at gazing at Remus she didn't even notice.
"That's some good stuff! Got any more?" Remus asked Draco with a slight slur. Draco recovered from shock and sprinted to the kitchen to get another bottle. He came back a minute later and sat the bottle down in front of Remus. Remmy took a small swig . . . and then passed out. Harry, Ron, and Hermione ran out from behind the tree and sprinted to Remus. Trelawney began running around the room in hysterics. Sirius jumped to his best friend's side and began to shake him. Remus' head fell limply to the side. Seeing that shacking wasn't working, Sirius began to slap Remus' face.
"Wake up Remmy! (slap) Wake up! (slap!) Don't leave me with the freak! (slap!) Come on buddy! (slap!)" Siri shouted to Remus. Finally, after a few minutes, Sirius' head shot up.
"MALFOY! What was in that wine?!?!?!" Sirius growled. Draco looked him straight in the eye.
"Secret family recipe," was all Draco said. Sirius lunged for the young Malfoy, but Harry and Ron (for some odd reason) held him back.
"Spill it you spoiled prat, or I'll rip your internal organs out with my claws!" Draco visibly paled, if that is even possible.
"Start listing!" Sirius shouted.
Draco quickly began naming off substances. "Asphodel, wormwood, willow, dad's old socks, wolfsbane . . ."
"WOLFSBANE?!?!?!??!" Sirius practically screamed as he started slapping Remus harder. Draco looked puzzled. Hermione walked over, with a look of shock on her face.
"Wolfsbane is deadly to Werewolves if taken in large enough doses," was all Hermione could get out through the lump in her throat. Meanwhile . . .
"Wake up Remmy! (slap!) Come on buddy! (slap)" Sirius was now in hysterics. Remus' eyelids fluttered and everyone rushed forward, but then stepped back to give him some room.
"I had the most wonderful dream." Remus said with a heavy slur. The entire restaurant went quite. (Why they decided to go quiet when the drunk woke up and not when he passed out is beyond me!) Sirius looked at his friend, urging him to go on so he wouldn't lose consciousness.
"You were there! And you were there! And I was sitting on a throne of gold! Snapey was there . . . bowing down to me! And so were you! And house elves frolicked around me! And there was wine! Lots of wine! Do you have anymore wine?!? Oh, oh, oh! And there were penguins mocking me! I no like them! They hurt feelings!!" Remus ranted with an extremely heavy slur. He looked like he was about to say something more, but he passed out in mid breath.
"You don't need to see this!" Draco said to Hermione, who was standing by his side. In one quick, fluid motion he was holding Hermione in his arms. He buried his face into her hair and began to sniff the fragrant smell of roses.
"What the bloody hell do you think you're doing, you prat?!?!?" Ron asked as he noticed Hermione in Draco's arms. He stepped forward a few paces and then stopped.
"Wait! Were you . . . smelling her hair???" he asked in disbelief. By this time, Harry had joined Ron's side and was staring at Draco as if he were a flaming imbecile. Draco quickly stepped away.
"No . . . of course not . . . what are you talking about?" Draco asked with a guilty look on his face. He turned to Hermione, who was giving him a deranged look.
"I wasn't!" Draco shouted again. A low groaning sound stopped them from any further argument. Sirius slowly stood up from Remus' side and approached the group of students.
"Well, he'll live. He'll have on hell of a headache tomorrow, but he'll live!" Sirius said with a snort. While half laughing he added, "But, he won't remember a thing!!! Good thing I set my camera up to take pictures every ten seconds!!!" Sirius pointed over to the wall beside the tree Harry, Hermione, and Ron had been standing behind. Sure enough a camera was placed on the wall; flashing at timed intervals. Sirius walked back to Remus and stooped down, ready to pick him up. "Those pictures will be good for the yearbook! Thanks Remmy!" He said to the passed out form of Remus. Picking him up, Sirius walked over to the wall and hit a button with his nose to stop it from taking any more pictures (seeing as he had no hands to use). Taking the camera between his teeth, he headed to the kitchen door. Hermione headed after the two and Draco went to follow her. Ron and Harry stepped into his way and cut him off. Draco rolled his eyes, but didn't start a fight. As the six figures left through the kitchen, the restaurant began to talk again.
"Hey! Where is Trelawney?" someone's voice asked, echoing through the kitchen.
"Who cares?!" everyone else shouted back. And with that, the six headed back to Hogwarts.
Meanwhile . . .
A few tables over from where Remus had passed out, a fainted Trelawney lay flailed out on the ground.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Yea!! It be finished!! And 8 pages long. (Not a record . . . but not horrible!) Please boost my already dwindling confidence with a review! Thank you for reading! You all are snazzed!! ~Sanaria
WOO HOO! I figured out how to correct the stupid spacing problems! Go me! Oh, yeah! WHO'S THE VOICE?!?!?! ~ Anrion
~*~*~ Chapter Eight: The Malfoy Secret Family Recipe ~*~*~
Sirius stood in the shadows eyeing the corridor. Under his breath he murmured the Mission Impossible theme song. He lowered his murmurings as a teacher crossed the corridor and went into a classroom. Seizing his chance, Sirius completed a summersault into another patch of shadows on the opposite side of the corridor. He held up his fist, to show his partner in crime to wait where he was. The professor that entered a room only a few moments earlier, exited and headed up a set of stairs. Sirius waved behind him for Remus to cross the hallway. Deep in the shadows Sirius had left but a moment ago, Remus emerged. He looked left, then right. Seeing that the corridor was empty, he too completed a summersault to the shadows that Siris stood in. Both Marauders high-fived and brook into grins.
"What is it my sweet? Are students out of bed at this time of the night? I hope they are . . . I got a lovely set of shackles in the dungeon waiting." Filch said to Mrs. Noris. The cat 'meowed' and continued on its way towards Sirius and Remus.
"You got a plan?" Sirius asked Remus. Remus shook his head.
"Alright . . . I'll have to improvise . . ." Siri said as he rubbed his hands together. He dropped his voice a few levels and began to talk very slowly.
"Who . . dares . . to . . disturb . . the Bloody . . Baron . . at this . . hour!?" Remus swore under his breath and whacked Sirius in the shoulder.
"Uhh . . . uhh . . . it's just me . . . I mean Filch," he stuttered. Remus stopped smacking Sirius, who began shaking out his robes.
"Well . . . what are you waiting for?!!?" Remus whispered hurriedly to Sirius. Sirius turned his back to Remus.
"That hurt my feelings! Whenever *I* have a plan you either say it is stupid or hit me. And it hurts!" Sirius whispered back, adding sniffling and flicking away an imaginary tear. Remus' face softened and he approached Sirius.
"Would it helped if I said I was sorry?" Remus asked to Sirius' back.
"No." Sirius whispered. Remus snapped his fingers in frustration.
"Ohh! How about I buy you candy when we go to Hogsmead!" Remus whispered. Sirius whirled around and grabbed Remus' had, shaking it.
"You got yourself a deal!" Sirius whispered excitedly, no sign of tears on his face. Remus growled but Sirius ignored him.
"Then . . . be gone!" Sirius shouted in the low voice. Filch jumped back from where he was standing, now a few feet closer than where he had been moments before.
"Come. Let's leave the Bloody Baron in peace my sweet." Filch said quickly, before dashing off into a secret corridor. Mrs. Norris hissed, but followed. Both Marauders let out a sigh of relief.
Minutes later Remus and Sirius arrived at the ladder to Professor Trelawney's classroom. Now able to talk, Remus stopped Sirius.
"You prat! You weren't even crying!" Remus said to his friend, who just stood there smiling.
"But, I got you just the same. And you owe me candy!" Sirius shouted in victory. Remus muttered 'prat' under his breath, but left it at that.
"Okay, here's the plan. I go up first and hold the trapdoor open for you. When we get up there, look for a green chest by the fireplace. Were going to have to break it open. Your stuffed wolf, Woofies, will be in there. Grab it and we will run back to Gryffindor Tower!" Sirius said excitedly. Remus frowned.
"How do you know it will be in a chest?" Remmy asked. Sirius blushed.
"Because that's where she put Mr. Bunnikins when she took him hostage." He admitted sadly.
"And why did she take him hostage?" Remus asked slowly.
"Well, earlier this week she took him, because she wanted me to set the two of you up. I, of course, would never do such a hideous thing to a friend, so I Snuck up here and found him myself. She ran after me shrieking when she discovered him gone. That was why I stayed in the tower all Saturday." Sirius explained. Remus nodded his head and motioned for Sirius to start climbing the ladder.
~*~*~
"We are deep in the heart of the enemy's lair . . . who knows how long we will survive?" Sirius said as he led Remus in the direction of the trunk. Remus grinned, but said nothing. To tell you the truth, he was scared of this women and any place she inhabited. Within moments, Sirius found the trunk.
"Alright Remmy! Let's work some magic!" Sirius said to Remus.
"Alohomora!" Remus shouted at the chest. Nothing happened. Sirius began to scratch his head.
"Oh yea! Sorry about that." Sirius apologized as he handed his friend a crowbar. "Magic doesn't work on the trunk." Remus rolled his eyes but took the crowbar anyway. He wedged it into the crack between the lids and pushed with all his might. The trunk flew open . . . but it was empty.
"Looking for this?" A voice said from behind them. Both turned around, a look of sheer terror on their faces.
"Ahhhhhhh! It's her!!!!!! Run!!" Sirius shouted as he sprinted towards the ladder. Realizing Remus wasn't behind him; he sprinted back and grabbed him. Now both men were racing for their lives, with Trelawney right behind them.
"I can't believe you dragged me into this!" Sirius shouted to Remus.
"What? Me! This was your idea!!!!" Remus shouted back. They turned a corner and lost Trelawney, but they could still hear her voice.
"Remember Remus. Friday you will be all mine!" Trelawney's voice ricochet off the walls of the corridor.
"Damn that was scary! I almost wet my pants!" Sirius shouted back. Remus fell to the ground laughing.
"What are you doing? We got to keep running?!?!" Sirius shouted in hysterics.
"We're on the other side of the castle! I'm pretty sure we've lost her! Now what were you saying about wetting yourself?" Remus asked as a new set of laughter broke free.
"Well at least I don't have to date her!" Sirius said with a superior tone. Remus stopped laughing and turned extremely pale.
"Isn't Friday tomorrow?" Remus asked quietly. Sirius nodded solemnly. They were in for a long day.
~*~*~
On Friday classes passed extremely quickly, much to Remus' disappointment. It seemed to hum a death march and he was the one marching. All day long people apologized that he had to actually date 'that hag'. He accepted each one, but it didn't make the upcoming night any better. And so, dinner came and Remus left for Hogsmead with a very excited Trelawney. Remus looked as though he was going to puke, which is certainly understandable. But, little did Remus know, a group of intellectuals were working at that very moment to foil Trelawny's evil scheme.
~*~*~
"So . . . evil butterflies are out. Too risky, you never know what they're thinking with those darting eyes of theirs." Sirius said, his voice growing more sinister with each word. Ron and Harry nodded their heads in agreement, while Draco and Hermione shared confused expressions.
"How about we just go and see what's going on and come up with a plan when we get there?" Draco said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Sirius jumped up in excitement.
"I've got it!! How about we go and see what we're dealing with, before we make a plan!" Sirius shouted triumphantly. Ron and Harry jumped up next to him, shouting how good his plan was. Draco was about to point out that he had said that same thing two seconds earlier, but Hermione stopped him. Sirius got so little intellectual glory, it might be better if he did believe it was his plan. And so, onward they marched. To The Three Broomsticks!!!!!
~*~*~
"What's happening?" Sirius questioned as all five of them huddled around a window. Ron shrugged and accidentally hit Draco in the ribs. Accidentally . . .
"Oww! You dolt! Watch what you're doing!" Draco snapped. Ron grinned angelically and turned back to the window. Hermione patted Draco on the back, but continued watching.
"Drat!" Hermione shouted a few seconds later. Everyone turned to her. "A new couple just came in and they're being led over here! They'll be blocking our view! Oh, and they might blow our cover." Hermione added. Sirius began to ponder and within seconds he stated that he had a plan. He moved to go to the back of the restaurant and Ron and Harry followed without question. Draco and Hermione exchanged scared looks, but chased to keep up with him.
~*~*~
On the ground of the kitchen, behind a counter, lay three unconscious waiters and two waitresses. Sirius, Harry, Ron, and Hermione stood circled around one of the storage rooms, waiting for Draco to emerge. They were all dressed in their uniforms, except him and were waiting impatiently. He shouted that he wasn't coming out, but Sirius threatened to throw a dungbomb in and smoke him out if he stayed in there. Reluctantly, Draco emerged in one of the short dresses one of the waitresses had been wearing. He looked extremely embarrassed and totally pissed off.
"I am NOT going out there like this!! I refuse! I'm a Malfoy for, bloody crying out loud! I have my honor to protect!" Draco shouted. Everyone 'shushed' him and he grew quiet, save for a few murmurings of curses. Harry and Ron were trying not to laugh and Hermione was trying to comfort him, while laughing. Sirius stood in shock, but seconds later pulled himself out of it and took a picture from a camera he had been hiding behind his back. Draco yelled and launched himself at Sirius. Hermione managed to pull him back after a few seconds (and after Sirius promised to get him a waiter's uniform).
Two minutes later six unconscious people were pilled in the kitchen. Sirius, Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Draco now stood near the silver kitchen wear, adjusting ties and such. Well, Sirius was more admiring himself than anything. When they were happy with their appearances, they all turned to head out into the restaurant. On the way to the doors Sirius turned to Draco and asked, "Better?" To which Draco replied, "Much."
~*~*~
Meanwhile Remus sat at the table with Trelawney, exchanging peaceful and flirtatious conversation (on HER side, anyway).
"Shut the bloody hell up! I'm balancing here!" Remus said to Trelawney, never taking his eyes off of the glasses of wine he was balancing in each hand. He had earlier decided that if he balanced the glasses for the rest of dinner and said she could not break his concentration, he wouldn't have to talk to her. She didn't seem to care much for this theory. He had now been balancing for a half an hour and dinner wasn't going by any faster. Trelawney kept trying to draw him into conversation . . . mainly about how her 'inner eye' pictured the ending of this date; much to Remus' appall. (This is where Anrion must add in a horrified scream)
"So Remus, why don't we just cut the small talk and say what we really feel," Trelawney asked. Remus' eyes grew as big as saucers and he gave up on balancing the wine glasses. He downed both of them in a minute and asked a passing waiter for more.
"We don't have to play games . . . I can see what you feel for me in your eyes." Trelawney leaned forward across the table.
"You asked for more wine?" Sirius asked, coming out of nowhere. In Remus' shock, he didn't even recognize his buddy.
"Something strong perhaps?" Sirius offered. Remus nodded his head at an alarming rate. "You there," Sirius said, pointing to Draco, "Get the wine." Draco glared, but went to the kitchens anyway.
~*~*~
Back in the kitchens, Draco searched for a bottle. Grabbing one, he stopped for but a second to look at the label. He smiled at his choice.
Dracaenas: The Finest Wine You Will Ever Taste Made From the Choicest Ingredients at Malfoy Manor Once You Go Dracaenas, You Never Go Back (Insert Evil Laughter Here)
~*~*~
"Here you go, my good sir." Draco said to Remus as he poured the glass. Remus nodded curtly and downed the glass within a few moments. Draco looked shocked; no one had ever been able to drink his father's wine THAT fast.
"Would you like another one sir?" Draco asked. Remus looked at the bottle of wine with eyes as big as saucers.
"YES! YES! GET ME DRUNK!!" Remus said as he lunged for the bottle of wine. Grabbing it from Draco's hands, he started drinking straight from it. Ten minutes later the bottle of wine was gone and no one had moved from their spots. Remus looked a little tipsy, but was still sitting up straight. Trelawney was gazing at Remus with love (Why? No one's quite sure); Draco stood there with his jaw dropping; and Sirius looked at his good buddy with admiration. Harry, Ron, and Hermione sat crouched behind a plant, watching the scene unfold.
"Wow Remmy! Who knew you had it in you?!" Sirius asked as he laughed. Fortunately Remus was too smashed to notice that the strange waiter somehow knew his name, and Trelawney was too caught up at gazing at Remus she didn't even notice.
"That's some good stuff! Got any more?" Remus asked Draco with a slight slur. Draco recovered from shock and sprinted to the kitchen to get another bottle. He came back a minute later and sat the bottle down in front of Remus. Remmy took a small swig . . . and then passed out. Harry, Ron, and Hermione ran out from behind the tree and sprinted to Remus. Trelawney began running around the room in hysterics. Sirius jumped to his best friend's side and began to shake him. Remus' head fell limply to the side. Seeing that shacking wasn't working, Sirius began to slap Remus' face.
"Wake up Remmy! (slap) Wake up! (slap!) Don't leave me with the freak! (slap!) Come on buddy! (slap!)" Siri shouted to Remus. Finally, after a few minutes, Sirius' head shot up.
"MALFOY! What was in that wine?!?!?!" Sirius growled. Draco looked him straight in the eye.
"Secret family recipe," was all Draco said. Sirius lunged for the young Malfoy, but Harry and Ron (for some odd reason) held him back.
"Spill it you spoiled prat, or I'll rip your internal organs out with my claws!" Draco visibly paled, if that is even possible.
"Start listing!" Sirius shouted.
Draco quickly began naming off substances. "Asphodel, wormwood, willow, dad's old socks, wolfsbane . . ."
"WOLFSBANE?!?!?!??!" Sirius practically screamed as he started slapping Remus harder. Draco looked puzzled. Hermione walked over, with a look of shock on her face.
"Wolfsbane is deadly to Werewolves if taken in large enough doses," was all Hermione could get out through the lump in her throat. Meanwhile . . .
"Wake up Remmy! (slap!) Come on buddy! (slap)" Sirius was now in hysterics. Remus' eyelids fluttered and everyone rushed forward, but then stepped back to give him some room.
"I had the most wonderful dream." Remus said with a heavy slur. The entire restaurant went quite. (Why they decided to go quiet when the drunk woke up and not when he passed out is beyond me!) Sirius looked at his friend, urging him to go on so he wouldn't lose consciousness.
"You were there! And you were there! And I was sitting on a throne of gold! Snapey was there . . . bowing down to me! And so were you! And house elves frolicked around me! And there was wine! Lots of wine! Do you have anymore wine?!? Oh, oh, oh! And there were penguins mocking me! I no like them! They hurt feelings!!" Remus ranted with an extremely heavy slur. He looked like he was about to say something more, but he passed out in mid breath.
"You don't need to see this!" Draco said to Hermione, who was standing by his side. In one quick, fluid motion he was holding Hermione in his arms. He buried his face into her hair and began to sniff the fragrant smell of roses.
"What the bloody hell do you think you're doing, you prat?!?!?" Ron asked as he noticed Hermione in Draco's arms. He stepped forward a few paces and then stopped.
"Wait! Were you . . . smelling her hair???" he asked in disbelief. By this time, Harry had joined Ron's side and was staring at Draco as if he were a flaming imbecile. Draco quickly stepped away.
"No . . . of course not . . . what are you talking about?" Draco asked with a guilty look on his face. He turned to Hermione, who was giving him a deranged look.
"I wasn't!" Draco shouted again. A low groaning sound stopped them from any further argument. Sirius slowly stood up from Remus' side and approached the group of students.
"Well, he'll live. He'll have on hell of a headache tomorrow, but he'll live!" Sirius said with a snort. While half laughing he added, "But, he won't remember a thing!!! Good thing I set my camera up to take pictures every ten seconds!!!" Sirius pointed over to the wall beside the tree Harry, Hermione, and Ron had been standing behind. Sure enough a camera was placed on the wall; flashing at timed intervals. Sirius walked back to Remus and stooped down, ready to pick him up. "Those pictures will be good for the yearbook! Thanks Remmy!" He said to the passed out form of Remus. Picking him up, Sirius walked over to the wall and hit a button with his nose to stop it from taking any more pictures (seeing as he had no hands to use). Taking the camera between his teeth, he headed to the kitchen door. Hermione headed after the two and Draco went to follow her. Ron and Harry stepped into his way and cut him off. Draco rolled his eyes, but didn't start a fight. As the six figures left through the kitchen, the restaurant began to talk again.
"Hey! Where is Trelawney?" someone's voice asked, echoing through the kitchen.
"Who cares?!" everyone else shouted back. And with that, the six headed back to Hogwarts.
Meanwhile . . .
A few tables over from where Remus had passed out, a fainted Trelawney lay flailed out on the ground.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Yea!! It be finished!! And 8 pages long. (Not a record . . . but not horrible!) Please boost my already dwindling confidence with a review! Thank you for reading! You all are snazzed!! ~Sanaria
WOO HOO! I figured out how to correct the stupid spacing problems! Go me! Oh, yeah! WHO'S THE VOICE?!?!?! ~ Anrion