ONE THIEF TO GO, D'YOU WANT FRIES WITH THAT?
Disclaimer: I am not Kazuki Takahashi. I do not own YGO.
A/N: Never mind what the audience and their opinion, seeing as if I did wait, I'd be stuck at hotmail for aeons. So, darkshipping will be further implied. Darkshipping is the BakuraYami pairing. I'm not suggesting who is 'seme' or 'uke', because it doesn't work, so they're both 'in between'. I have other chapters written already, just need a check.
Be nice and reward this author will some praise or virtual goodies and review. No pressure, just review.
ONE THIEF TO GO, D'YOU WANT FRIES WITH THAT?
I am nervous? I am anxious?
Choices, choices. According my dictionary, they are similar but to a certain extent, the same, but I guess both are apt descriptions to what I am feeling right now. Not quite the nervous people talk about before the Maths Exam or the anxious people feel when being stalked on a dark foggy night or leaving yami at home when there's a kitchen knife door-to-door salesperson lurking about. But you get my point don't you?
Maybe not, assuming you don't have a yami like my own or live in a city that has had strange storms, virtual villains with green hair, scary card stealers that wear purple robes, Millennium Eyes or anything to do with Ancient Egyptian artefacts. Yes, amidst all the chaos and Shadow magic, I have lived a moderately normal life. Here, 'normal' is a comparative term.
I'm 16, turning 17 in September, and go to Domino High School. My father works as an archaeologist, specialising in Egypt, he was also the one brought back the Ring as a souvenir. The Ring as a souvenir? Yes, that was what it was at first, before I started hearing voices. I did think I was crazy, how many sane people do you know hear voices?
Anyhow, the Ring is a sort of lodging for the immodest spiky white-haired thief that believes that he is/was the greatest thief in all history and is the 'Darkness', but feel free to call him Bakura. My friends, including the owner of the Puzzle, which everybody just calls Yuugi, have been through all sorts of things whilst I stayed at home. But don't worry, that doesn't mean I haven't been through my share of the strange and paranormal. I live with my yami, don't I?
Today was one of per mentioned 'normal days'. I wake up, get dressed, make breakfast, eat and spend the day doing whatever I like after I do my homework. It was normal until after rearranging my desk when my yami suggested that we go to Yami's house. Since when did my yami and Yuugi's yami get along without bloodshed, abnormal rate of people falling into comas or other mysterious happenings? Like I said before, my day was normal before I heard this.
"Why?"
"I am bored, and you need fresh air."
"I need fresh air? I'm not a pot plant, Bakura."
"Talk to your friends, they haven't seen you for a long time."
"I saw them last week."
"Don't you want to talk to them? Did you have a fight?"
"No," since when was my yami concerned about the well being of my social life? "Fine. I'll go."
Ah, right. My yami is getting smarter at these negotiation procedures, or is it me letting my guard down? Whichever, it doesn't make a difference. I am still going to 'The Pharaoh's house'.
"I don't think we should go now. They're in all probability having lunch."
"Trust me; I know what I'm doing."
That's about as reassuring as handing a sharp knife to pathological lying psychopath as you get him to take solemn oath not to kill you. Would you believe someone if they said they were a pathological liar? That has nothing to do with the point but I guess I do kind of ramble off if I'm worried, anxious or nervous. Walking along side my yami, I notice that he tends to wear the same garments as I do.
Association by outfits, maybe.
Nonetheless, he gestures me to cross the busy street at the right time not as to leave me behind. I'm almost 17 and need to be consented to be able to cross a street? Embarrassing, I know, but Bakura does like to be in control. I do whatever keeps him happy. Seeing the Kame Game Shop, I see my yami glance up and somehow know he's plotting something. He may be able to hold me at bay from his Soul Room, but I live with that Tomb Robber. I think I would have picked something up that way. Well, at least I can usually sense when someone is going to find themselves in the Shadow Realm or when something mysteriously 'goes missing'…but then, maybe it's the giant SMIRK plastered across his face that gives it away.
"Yuugi!" my yami calls, his voice intermingling with the bells perched above the door. I really do hope they aren't busy; it would be so inconvenient for them if we came during their lunchtime.
"Ittarrashai! Bakura-kun! We're just having lunch, come join us." That's Yuugi. The owner of the Sennen Puzzle. He also has a yami, called Yami, but he isn't as crazy as mine is. For one, he doesn't participate in theoretical ban-the-vegetable rallies. Yami, when set up for dates and etcetera, could stand outside parks and be a sitting stand for pigeons. Or he could start yelling at a piece of gold and wave his arms at it before getting the message the general public is sending him via raised eyebrows and gaping mouths that he's 'Not Quite Right' but apart from that…I'd say he'd be the most sane out of all the yamis.
"Sorry Yuugi, but my yami insisted that we come now." He did. Not that he actually wheedled with me, no, never has and never will. But when he mentions something that he would like to be done, chances are that if you do it, he won't have to use force. Forceful yamis are never a good thing.
"Your yami? Where is—that's right, he doesn't get along well with my yami, does he?"
"He…he was here a moment ago." Looking around, the shop was empty, apart from a counter, glass display cases, posters, boxes, cards and two puzzled students.
Now Ryou, smirk. I'm just testing you. You did it so well last time
/You just brought me here to scare Yuugi? Where are you? /
Somewhere else. And yes, we came here to more or less scare Yuugi, and we're not leaving until you do
/Bakura! Fine…just once. /
"Wakatta…why are you…you're not the normal Bakura are you? You're the Dark Duellist!"
"Muah-a-ha-ha-ha-ha!"
…Am I really THAT melodramatic?
"Yami!," he calls. Yami is very reliable, unlike Bakura. He actually appears before Yuugi at the slightest mention of trouble, whereas mine would only appear at inopportune moments or when I'm in serious trouble and then could be able to send whichever person was threatening me to the Shadow Realm, "Mou hitori no Bakura, what have you done to Yami? I can't get him through our link!"
/Bakura! What have you done to Yami? I thought we were just here to scare Yuugi. You didn't hurt Yami did you? /
Yami? He's a little…busy at the moment
/What am I going to say to Yuugi? /
Anything you like
"We'll just say that, Yami is…busy."
"You're the normal Bakura."
I was never a rebel or had any punk-ish attitude and never will be, but have you heard desperate times call for desperate measures? I cannot believe I am actually going to say this in such a manner, but here goes nothing.
"Decided yet?" I say in a manner most unlike myself. Cocky, I believe that would be an apt description. Bakura-like, would also be an apt description. But then, 'Bakura-like' and 'cocky' are synonymous.
"You are the normal Bakura, aren't you?"
Yadonushi! I say Pharaoh! I never say 'Yami'. And I thought you were observant.
"Gomenasai, my yami wouldn't let me leave without tricking you."
"Where is Yami?"
"I…don't know. Gomen."
"That…was strange. Do you want to have lunch here? Jii-chan is expecting everybody over today so we have heaps of food."
Lucky. We're not interfering with anything after all… Wait a moment, food?
/Bakura. You came here for the food, didn't you? /
Why would I do that? This is a coincidence. A pleasant surprise…
How would my yami how that a get together would be happening? I never heard anything…just how would my yami know? Could it be?
/…are you stalking them?/
An explosion of laughter was sent across the link, making me jump and receive an odd stare from Yuugi.
"Yuugi!"
"I think Anzu and everyone is at the door."
"Tell them to come in."
How far can 'coincidence' go before it is labelled as conspiracy? My yami doesn't like my meatless cooking, and takes me to yuugi's house when they are having lunch which would probably meat in it, that is not coincidence.
"Yadonushi…I'm tired. Can we stay here?"
/You knew that they were having lunch; you didn't bring me here to scare Yuugi at all/
I don't know what you're talking about.
/Innocent doesn't work for you. Spit it out, what did you do to Yami?/
Calm down, not like you at all to have so much attitude. Yami, is fine.
/Define 'fine'/
"Ask him for yourself."
"Gah." I do something between a 'meep' and 'gurgle'. Hmm, what would that be called? A 'geep' or 'murgle'? Nonetheless, I had 'gah-ed' at the fact that Yami had almost materialized in front of me, along with my cocky yami. Both 'alive', as far as physical forms of spirits go, and unscathed.
"Yami! Are-are you hurt?" What did my yami do? If he played Shadow game with Yuugi's yami again…
"Anshinshiro…daijoboudatta…"
"Yokatta."
"Oi, yadonushi, aren't you going to ask whether YOUR yami whether he's fine?"
"Bakura. You're as stubbornly reoccurring as that ant problem we have. Clean up after your midnight snack, will you?"
"A simple 'no, you seem alive' would have sufficed…" My yami pouted. Pouted? Please don't tell him I said that.
YOU WILL NOT TELL HIM I SAID THAT.
Gomen, I'm turning into my yami. Spending too much time inside an apartment with your yami tends to do something like that to you.
"Ikuze!"
"Minna! Chotto Mate!"
The excited aura dissipates slightly as the group is halted as they madly rush for the door after lunch. Lunch to which Bakura enjoyed immensely. He seemed very reluctant to allow anybody else to touch the beef, but as always, no one said anything. There was nothing to say. If my yami hunched over something and watched every move everyone else made and regards you with a suspicious glower, chances were that if you attempted to take whatever he so possessively guarding, you'd end up in the Shadow Realm faster than you say 'Please share'.
"Anzu…what is it?" asks Jounouchi. Jounouchi, usually just called 'Jou', although doesn't own a Sennen Item, still has gone through his share of the paranormal. Speaking of 'not quite normal', everybody is free today. That's why they're all here to eat lunch then go to the movies.
"Since everybody is here; I'd like to make an announcement," That's Anzu. She was Yuugi's best friend since kindergarten and I think they get along together. I think she likes him. "I'm starting a new club at school. It's Pilate's, it'll be fun, and there'll be music. It's good for you and makes you fit. Makes you more flexible and helps you think and organise your thought after the long day. It'll be completely run by students. So, I was wondering who wanted …wants to join up, and become the first member. Anyone?"
"Sugoi! Ne, Anzu-chan, I want to be your first member!" said Shizuka. Shizuka is Jou's sister; she's from America and speaks English and Japanese just like I do. I don't know much about her, apart from the fact that she was on the Battle City blimp with us. I just met her after Jou told me that Alcatraz was going to explode. She also joined me in my eating spree after I woke up in a strange bed. The crackers were very nice, Kaiba has good taste. But…back to the topic.
"If Shizuka-chan you will do it, I'd wouldn't want her to be alone…so I want to do it too!" That's Honda. He was also on the Battle City Blimp.
"Mou, Honda-kun," Otogi whines, "Shizuka needs to be shown around the school so she doesn't feel lost. I used to be new; I would now how she feels. So, I'm signing up too!" Otogi, is the creator of Dungeon Dice. According to Jou, he used to be one evil 'dude', but when Yami defeated him at his own game, he…changed. He became nicer and was part of their friendship group ever since. Yami's defeated Bakura at his games of Shadow Game, why doesn't he change? He could be nicer…and not complain when I tell him to eat his vegetables.
"Guys! My sister will be fine! I think I'll do it too." Jou wants to do it too? Who would have known? Guess duelling was good for him, on so many levels, too.
"Jou! You too!" Anzu goes over, hugs Jou, and messes his hair up. It's somewhat funny watching them, especially Jou's expression.
"Yeah," he agrees, "Just to watch over those two." He mutters.
Ah, there was a catch after all.
"Yuugi? Signing up? I'm sure you know how stressed you feel before a tournament, it could really help you."
Yuugi feels stress? Who would have known?
"Ano…"
"Please."
"…Okay."
"THANK YOU SO MUCH!! With you joining others will want to join too!"
"What am I? Am-am I advertising project of yours?"
"Gomen," she says good-humouredly. "Guys and girls will join if you're in it…girls will join… Ryou! Want to do Pilate's?"
Me? Come to think of it, yes…
Don't you dare
Why, yami? HEY!!!!
There's simply no stopping him. I rest in my Soul Room as he repossesses my body.
"We have something else to do." He mutters and stomps out of Yuugi's house.
/Bakura! You were being rude/
"As opposed to what?"
/…/
"Not talking to me are you? Take your body back, I'm making my own. Again."
Making his own body, you wonder? It's a new ability of his. He tried to explain it to me. Being a spirit and supported by Shadow Magic, he can create a physical body and do anything I can. Just not permanently, as much as he'd like to deny it, I think it wears him out.
"Yami? Where are we going?"
"Not 'yami', BA-KU-RA."
"Where are we going?"
"Gym."
The ever so gruff attitude of my ya…of Bakura.
"Why are we going to the gym?"
"And why do you ask so many questions?"
Do I? I don't think I ask many questions. Just what is necessary. See, what would be necessary? Breathing, for obvious reasons…although that reason seems to be forgotten every time Mai sees Jou. Drinking is important, water that is, not whatever my yami has in mind. Becoming a tomb robber truly does amend your way of reasoning. Studying for tests, that is crucial. If you don't study and refresh your knowledge, then what you've learnt will become bunk during the test. Then, after you sit around in the exam, swirling your pen as some do, you're going to fail the test. Then if you fail the test, then people think you're stupid, and if people think you're stupid, you'll never get a job. That is why studying is crucial. Despite my logical philosophy, Jou and Honda always seem to find a reason to why they maintain their studying streak of 'only study the few seconds before an exam'.
What wouldn't be a necessity would be my yami taking me to the gym. Of course, one needs to be reasonably fit to live a productive life, but… I… don't like sport that much. And that's true. I don't have a strong opinion of sport, or enjoy it as much as Jou does. I lack coordination, my yami says…but then, if I had gracefully leaped down 10 metres and not broken and bones, then I guess that would be extraordinary for me. But taking me to the gym would be completely out of the ordinary, too. Ordinarily, I'd avoid such places.
"Here we are."
"Ah…Bakura…don't you think the gym will over exhaust your body?"
"What was that?" he asks ever-so-sweetly. Whenever he does that, you have to watch yourself. One wrong move and you'd suddenly find yourself heading to the Shadow Realm. No return flight either.
"What are we doing here?"
"You lack coordination, strength, flexibility, muscular endurance, cardiovascular fitness…"
"You could have just said 'unfit'. I don't need those things to such a degree, not like I'm going to be you or anything like that. Right?"
"Wrong. Have you forgotten that I was going to teach you the trades of being a great thief?"
"But…but…"
"Watch closely. I'm only going to do this once. Flexibility is important."
Flexibility is important? Sounds like something Anzu would say, and she does dancing. I have severe doubts that Bakura would do dancing as well. Amusing image though.
Stop that thought right there,my yami warned. Watch.
Where? All I see is bars, blue mats and my yami standing on a mat. Just what is he going to do? Somersault? I'm not that bad. Believe it or not, I can somersault.
Ra.
My…yami…can…BACKFLIP and all those fancy flipping things. Oh Ra. If anyone comes along and waves a hand in front of my face and if I don't respond, do you think they'll get the message that I have seem my yami do a triple flip and land with the grace of a…tomb robber?
"SUGOI!!"
Ahhhh!!!!
/YAMI! /
"Ryou-chan! Come to watch me? How sweet… why didn't you tell me you had a brother? He's so good at gymnastics; do you think you can arrange for him to teach us? Onegai?"
Wha-? Who?
"Eeto…"
"Ryou? What's going on?"
/Take your time why don't you?/
"Ah…"
"SUGOI!! You're Ryou's brother, right? You're so cute!!!!!"
I give her 3 minutes until she is sent to the Shadow Realm. Of course, if my yami twitches like that, always deduct a minute, and you'll be fine. Well, not really, not if you're the one angering him. You don't want to do that. Trust me on this one.
"…Yes…"
You…baka! Now she'll think you agreed to the cute factor. You are going to figuratively die.
"Ah," I croak, "Nii-chan, I think we need to…Ack!"
Hey! What's the deal going on here? I go to the gym, Bakura backflips, girls glomp me and now I have a brother who is pulling me out of the gym by the collar of my shirt?!?! The 'dragging-out-by-collar' I can understand, the rest…is incomprehensible. What is more incomprehensible is that when several girls have caught me on their radar, they aren't glomping me, but my yami… and they're still…alive, basically.
"My name's Tomo and this is Chieko and that's Haruko over there and we think you're sweet! What's your name?"
Oh Ra. I'm being herded into a figurative corner by a bunch of my fangirls. I am going to die. I think I've started hyperventilating already. Oh Ra. I have, and I can't breathe! There's Bakura! Bakura is running… good thinking.
"Ahhhh!!!"
All or nothing. Fight or flight. Ryou Bakura running away from the sweet-to-the-point-of-scary fangirls.
And all this adds to my already long list to irregular aspects of a teen life. I wake up and start to think it's a normal day… UNTIL Bakura takes me to Yuugi's house and then runs away and then going to the gym, scaring the hell out of me (which in turn make me yami-less?) with those graceful and tomb robber-like flips and otherwise 'flexibility routine', then being glomped by sweet-to-the-point-of-scary fan girls and running…again. Great. And I thought today was going to be a normal day. They never anything like this would happen in the weather forecast.
We're running again, doesn't matter whether it's the mentioning of a Pilate's club or glomp-a-cidal fan girls. This adds to my 'normal' day, first I see the unfamiliar territory of gym looming, then the plastic blue mats and then…an artificial dam. Great. Makes my day. Really does.
"Bakura!"
Here we go again. Those fancy death-eluding tricks go out to show again. He leaps and what are the chances of him falling short about 2 metres and falling into the dam and then having to swim to the shore. Chances are highly…
Likely. That is, if I wasn't referring to the same body that had just done a triple flip into the gym 10 minutes ago.
"Hayaku, Ryou!"
What? He doesn't really expect me to jump across THAT and not fall and break my neck whilst falling and not drown when I ungracefully fall into the water? Is he CRAZY?! Wait, yes he is. But then, I'm pretty sure I can make it. It's not that far. Humans have a defence mechanism that exaggerates the depth of certain things as to protect them from jumping down.
I'm sure this length and depth is just exaggerated in my segmented mind. Should be, in any case. And of course, that factor combined with the factor that a horde of high school girls are chasing me down the road… then that height and depth is going to be ignored my adrenaline pumped body.
What. The. Heck.
All this just means I'm going to jump.
"Ahh!!!"
That word seems to be all that's left of my vocab. The rest must have deserted me in fear of their hypothetical lives whilst I jump over the stretch if water, which may in turn, kills me. I'm JUMPING!?!
I'm getting to be as crazy as he is.
I'm going to make it!!
I am!
I am!
I am falling!
Curse you, GRAVITY!!!!
"Ahh!"
With hindsight that only comes after you can regret it, that defence mechanism is there for a very good reason! It prevents you from being stupid and minimises the chances of wilfully jumping off a cliff and killing yourself. Strictly speaking, I'm not jumping off a cliff, but I am still stupid enough to jump off something that will probably kill me.
"Bakura!!!!"
Baka! You knew you couldn't jump, take the bridge, you unobservant…
/Enough! I'm drowning!/
Something, such as the smooth glassy surface a fair way above my head, tells me I'm underwater. Something, such as the way my head feels like it's going to explode, tells me I'm not breathing air. Something, such as my wet jeans and waterlogged t-shirt, tells my I'm being pulled under.
Kick and direct yourself upwards, baka.
Kick? I can't! It-it's too cold! I don't know where my legs are and where upwards is…
What I'd do for my host…he thinks with the tone equivalent to a mutter.
"No, Ryou. Wake up, please. You can't leave me like this. You can't drown."
Listen to that. Disgusting. Wake up, will you.
/You do care after all./
No I don't, just wake up, she's giving me a headache
"I don't who you are, but I am going to take him home." My yami gruffly says. I never thought I'd use this word to describe him and mean it, but he's sweet at times.
"You can't do that! I heard that if you don't wake from unconsciousness, you die! We have to wake him up! He could die!"
"Wake him?"
"Yeah, mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. If you feel awkward about it, since you're a guy and everything. I-I'll do it."
"Mouth-to-mouth? No thankyou, he's been through worse. He'll live." I don't think I want to wake up to the face of Tomo not 10 centimetres from my own…or my yami for that matter. If I had to choose, Bakura would be my choice. Not that I don't trust Tomo… but Bakura is more familiar to me. He's been that…close…to me before. Strangely, I don't mind. Embarrassing thought, actually.
"But-but…" whimpers Tomo. She's always like that. Very clingy, doesn't trust me if I'm by myself. Sort of like an annoying guardian angel. She's nice and all, but…
"He could die!" she screams. I think my ears are starting to hurt.
"I am not having any of you touch him. Do I make myself clear?"
Wake up Ryou. I mean it.
/I'm trying to! Just…/
"What are doing? Stop! Just what do you think you're…" Tomo screams. Now, if they didn't hurt then, my ear certainly throbs with a sort of dull pain now.
"What does it look like I'm doing?"
"Ryou! You-you…"
"Nii-chan?" I say. Of course, I don't normally attend any drama classes. Personally, I don't think I need to, having a yami and using acts to get away from potentially dangerous situations gives me all the practice I need. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a perpetual liar or anything like that, in fact, I hate to be. But lying or pretending to be/do something helps you avoid questions that you'd rather not answer.
"Ryou. We're going home."
I nod. I don't I could have walked by myself just yet. Not when I feel like I'm floating in a pool without water. That…would be an apt description. I think. I really don't know. It's just…just… I think I'm to black out again.
No, wait for it, no I'm not. It was just a small rest.
Just had to jump didn't you?
/I don't know/
Put something dry on, we're going shopping
"N-now?"
There's my yami again, gaining a solid appearance at an amazingly fast rate.
"You've been sleeping for a couple of hours now."
"Ha-have I? I thought…"
"Hnn, you also thought that you could make that jump."
"Mou, ii yo… fine, we're going shopping…just…"
"Just what?" I involuntarily wince. Not that he's threatening me, but his voice is loud…and I have headache.
"…Just…could you push the shopping trolley?"
"That's all?"
I nod.
Not that I understood half the things that went on there. Just agree to whatever sounds like a question and you'll be fine. Or so, they'll stop talking and give my head a chance to stabilise itself. The world sounds like complete white noise, with the rushing of what I think would be blood in my ears and the absent minded droning hum in my head.
Absentmindedness. My shoes have worn out and lack shock absorption and I feel every step I take, whether it is through the sliding glass doors or through the immaculately clean white linoleum of a supermarket.
"Can I have soup tonight?" I ask my yami. Choices, choices, I find myself thinking. Now, where have I heard that before? Sounds somewhat familiar.
"Why are you asking me? It's your stomach that has to digest that stuff."
"Spicy ramen, vegetable soup, chicken and leek, pumpkin, tomato, minestrone, alphabet soup with noodles …" I'm not sure whether I'm reading the katakana more or the English. English would be the first choice, since it was my first language and all. But I live in Japan; do you think I've become accustomed to Japanese? Maybe a bit from column 'A' and a bit from column 'B'?
I don't think I'll have the spicy ramen, since I rarely do for a very good reason. We'll say… I don't have much of a tolerance for hot foods? It wasn't very spicy, according to my yami, when Jou heated some of that up for us… but that was my yami who commented on how pain was losing its charm. Scary, I know.
Vegetable soup? Reading the contents, I think it will go in the same category as the pumpkin and tomato soup. I'm not un-becoming vegan, don't worry about that. Wait, since when have I decided I was going to become vegan? Vegetarian, yes. Vegan? No. No, I don't think I will have any of those soups tonight.
Alphabet soup? Hmm… it could be good. Did you ever have alphabet soup as a kid and try spoon out letters of your name with your spoon?
Not vegan are you, Ryou?
"Hmm?"
Hurry up, just throw in that can of soup with squiggly letters in the trolley… it's been in your hand for so long it's starting to warm up in your hand.
"Ha-hai. Yami?"
Bakura wa..doko ni iru?
Soup, soup, soup, that's about the entire cache of what the boy is capable of thinking of. While he strains his brain figuring what he wants to eat this afternoon, I take advantage of the dazed boy to what I consider carry out my plan for desperate measure. Of course, where are you going to find me?
Meat department.
Where else, might I ask? Hiding a polystyrene tray of beef between the bag of oranges, paper towelling, a green fruit peeler and a matt black binder folder, I make my way back to the boy, who is still standing in front of a shelf, holding what I think has been the same can of soup for all the time I've been gone.
"What?" I ask. The boy has to consult me on soup; I swear (oath-wise, for once) that the boy wouldn't last one minute without me telling him what to do. He even asks me what socks to wear and whether he can take off his shoes after entering the apartment, a bit too much information by some standards, but it's true.
He looks at the trolley, which I had just wheeled back, along with some 'extras'. Of course, he doesn't have to know that an 'extra' included a tray of meat. So we'll just that between us? No else has to know that aside from the black folder and paper towelling, there was meat, now do they?
"Let's go to the check-out."
Right. He was half-dazed, a fact I know very well and have exploited, and expects me to wheel the trolley to the cashiers?
Fine, I grumble. After all, if he hadn't agreed to my little deal, I'd have to endure another meat-less dish. Walking to the cashier, something shiny catches my eye. Of course, being a thief in my past life doesn't help with the 'must ignore' factor, so I look. So sue me, I'm a thief. The shiny thing turns out to be something of little value, money-wise and nutrition-wise. The last fact supplied the pale albino who could just about win 3 Oscars for his 'soggy cereal' expression.
"You can grab a pack of lollies if you like. Just one, okay?"
Just one, the boy says. There's a 250gm box of M and Ms, or I can grab the fun-size Mars Bar, or the skittles. Or the Terry's chocolate Orange, Freddo, Caramello koala, starburst gummi fruits, or even the jellybeans. Or maybe even natural confectionary, but hey, sugar in such concentration shouldn't be healthy so heck to health. I'm a spirit, and I don't think I've ever heard of a spirit ever needing to go to the dentist. What else? Chocolate coated liquorice? Bleugh, don't know how the boy stands that nasty black stuff, or nasty green things for that matter. Definitely not liquorice. Or the sultana for the same matter. Sure, it isn't as foul, but Ra, it's mostly fruit, not worth your time at all. Or maybe I'll go for that Turkish delight, the fake chewy stuff that is the rip-off substance that does NOT originally come from Turkey. But they can take the credit for it, wonderfully made there. Ryou's father brought some home from Turkey, packaged in a neat container, which was printed with the scenery of a city attraction; it was quite pleasing to the eye and tongue and had a delightful aftertaste of rosewater, nothing on that crap they sell in gold wrappers here in Japan. Perhaps not. What else is there? Other packets of trimly packaged and printed plastic chibi motifs designed to sell, stuffed full with delectable sweet or sour goodies. But let's see what new on the market. Damn it all, just ONE, the boy jut had to ask for the impossible. Of course, me being The Infamous Tomb Robber Who Has Successfully Planned and Carried Out 3000 Robberies and Other Adventures Involving The Art Of Thievery, I am well capable of doing the 'impossible'. Whether the 'impossible' be robbing the gold from Akunadin's tomb in front of everybody's faces, walk past the heavily guarded main entrance without being detected and win against 6 High Priests Of Ancient Egypt. And how shall I achieve the impossible today? By reaching out and randomly grabbing something, turns out to the new advertised Triple Chocolate Dove™. Ingenious, isn't it? I can choose something that I would in all probability like, try something new, and at the same time 'utilise' this newly selected object to 'entertain' myself with a certain someone. Granted, I did have my eyes open. Well, this will do. Yes, this Triple Chocolate Dove with a dark chocolate crème centre, crisp oreo-like cookie embellishment to its smooth and velutinous marbled chocolate base will do very well indeed.
"Took us a while, going to the shop and all. Outing would have been much shorter if you had hurried up with the chocolate." The boy comments. I let it go, after all, the prospect of eating meat tonight is enough to make one deprived Tomb Robber happy. And how do I know I will have the meat TODAY? You'll see.
"Are you sure there isn't any meat in the house?"
"I'm sure. If you can find any meat here, I'll cook it today and you can have it, okay?" Disturbingly confident for him, isn't it?
"If you insist," I drawl. See? I get what I want and the boy doesn't even know he's doing so. Rummaging through the recently bought groceries, the boy stands in front of the table, broadcasting waves of confusion.
"What are you looking for now, Bakura?"
"Meat."
"I told there wasn't any already. And if you're looking for that tray of beef steaks, I put that tray you tried to sneak in while you were deciding what packet of confectionary you wanted to buy."
"…you did?"
Kuso, why did he do that? He's getting better at this thief business, even foiled my plans for lunch this afternoon. And he isn't even gloating, as if he did that everyday and that it was part of everyday life, Re, I stole practically everyday and still found it damn amusing. The boy watches the microwave countdown the seconds before his lunch of alphabet soup. He taps some rhythm with his finger on the bench, and nods his head out of sync with his finger. He has no coordination. Speaking of which, co-ordination is an important asset to thievery. Another thing I'll have to teach. Sure, it all started out as teaching him the art of thievery so I'll never hear those frightening 5 words to do with…manners… but there's another raison d'etre to why I am doing this. Something I won't indulge you with right now. Possibly in the future… but who are you to believe the word of a notorious tomb robber?
"Right, since lunch isn't worthwhile anymore, I am going to teach you coordination. Why? Because you cannot coordinate if your life depended on it, as so wonderfully shown today."
"I'm not going back to the gym. You can't make me."
I can but I won't. There simply is no need. 'Won't' do something doesn't mean 'can't' do something here, I can drag the protesting boy to the gym and endure what he would describe as 'giving me the beating of my life' but like I mentioned before; there is simply no need.
"Here…catch this."
Throwing an orange up into the air, I try to make it 'float' for as long as possible, just so the boy has a chance in the Shadow Realm to catch it. I hope he doesn't prove me wrong… good, he doesn't. He can catch after all. Now, a normal throw.
"Got…it…" He mutters as he lunges for the far-too-left flung orange. "…gah. ITAI!" He yells as he ungracefully trips over his own feet and cuffs himself on the coffee table and waits for the orange to land comically on his upper back
"Well done." I say mockingly.
"Urusai." He boy mutters, it's the new rage for him nowadays. Yuugi, with his accusing stare and 'Not Quite Right' expression. And Ryou, with his new found attitude that he shows to nobody but me.
"Glad to know you can catch an orange. I'm mildly amused with the hypothetical image of you bring an airborne knife to a jarring halt in midair with those wonderful intercepting skills."
Strangely, I had thought spirits don't deteriorate but they must somewhat, because I think my hearing is going. That, or I had actually heard the boy grumble 'it's not everybody where your yami uses an orange like a throwing knife'.
"What was that?" I ask, quite unsure to what I had just heard just then. Was I hallucinating again or was the boy developing some attitude? Whichever, both were positive could have some pleasing outcomes, apart from the hallucinations, that is.
"Nothing," he says as I shake the odd idea that has taken a likening to inside my head. Re dammit, did he just poke his tongue out at me?
I regard him oddly, brows knitting together. Did he just poke his tongue out at me? I can almost swear he did. A theif's instincts are very rarely wrong. They are only ever offcourse in their judgement when one has consumed one too many cups of beer. Still, if he had, he did it covertly enough as not be caught open-handed or open-mouthily? And all this brings me to another asset, which a thief should have. Stealth.
"Steal…this apple." Now I can say fruit has a use for a tomb robber. Using the currently-safe-from-abuse apple as a subject, I instructed the boy to walk in an underhandedly type of manner as not to prompt any noise that may alarm the guardian, or in this case, me.
"Now I will turn around and pretend you're not there. Now, when my back is turned, steal the apple."
"Go… don't make any sound." I instruct. Using my acute sense of hearing and borrowing on some help of Shadow Magic, I sense that there has been no detectable sound or movement. He hasn't moved at all.
"What are you waiting for, Ryou? Now is a great time."
What in Re's name is he waiting for! I have been standing like this, trying to behave oblivious to my hikari's presence and he just stands there. Waiting for gold-gilded scented invitation perhaps?
"I'm going to turn around any moment now."
"3…"
"2…"
"1…"
The apple has not moved. The dust on the table has not moved. However, the boy has. In fact, not only has he moved, he has moved out of my sight without my detection. I had turned my back on him and he, according to my senses-that-must-be-getting-worse had disappeared.
"Ryou! Get back…"
There he is. Him and a bowl of nuts.
"...here…"
"Yes, yami?"
I really hate it when he does THAT. That innocent looking questioning look that makes you feel guilty and stereotypical parent-like with his wide-eyed expression and standing in a backed off stance and makes you sense that you shouldn't have shouted and makes you want to either throttle him or hammer your head on the nearest wall… That boy does it intentionally, audacious sprite he is.
"Why didn't you steal that…"
Apple… where in between this world and the Shadow realm did it go? Why is this all reminding me of Snow White? The apple business and… did I say sprite before? I really must stop reading those fairytales of his. Hey, sure, it's fine to read fairytales. But, there's a time where you have to STOP before you can link it with everything, and start to think like a fairy tale character. Ra, if I say so much think 'live happily ever after', I think I'll have to burn those books and then kill someone to convince myself I'm my normal homicidal self again.
"This apple?" I swear the boy was smiling in some fashion that one would describe as 'smugly'. Synonyms to his uncharacteristic action would be 'smirk'.
"Yes… Well done. Explain the nuts, if you please."
"Just a theory of mine. Distract the obstruction from the original objective, and then get back to it later. In this case, distract you with my disappearance and then steal this apple while you were disorientated. See, thievery isn't all ability. You have to think as well." He says ever so complacently. If I didn't know better, I would consider that my hikari to think I were a 'jock' and that I don't think at all. Slippery character indeed.
"Are you implying I don't think at all?"
"It's an option."
Why didn't I think of it before? Sure, he may be my hikari, so the Shadow Realm might not be the best way to go… BUT…has anyone ever told you about the fun defenestration brings? Especially if you are defenestrating something annoying and/or of hindrance? Of course, this chatter just means I am going to grab Annoying Brat the Second by the shirt, hoist him a proud foot above ground, lug him downstairs and hurl him out of a window. Not exaggerating either. The boy may not be expendable, but I can definitely throw him out of a window.
See, I am learning, whether it is something from a textbook or the unorthodox teachings of a bored tomb robber. However, my yami doesn't look too happy? How can that be? I made a (successful) theory (that bested my yami) and stole an apple and managed to slip past my yami without him realising… and he looks like he wants to rip me to pieces? That. Is. Not. Good.
All of a sudden, something rushes up and I find myself hoisted by my T-shirt… and unable to reach the floor with my feet… My yami has lifted me up…again. I hate it when he does that. I feel like a weight in the gym, used to pump and tone muscle. My teeth feel like they're shaking in their individual cocoons as Bakura takes the stairs down 3 at a time. I wish he wouldn't do that. Abruptly, the uncomfortable journey ends and I find myself having hair whipping at my face and the sun shining into my eyes as I am, what I think would be, flying out a window. Landing unceremoniously on the ground, general bodily area feels sore.
That was uncalled for. There was no need to throw me out of the window, even if it was only the first floor window. Actually, I'm surprised it's only the first.
"Ryou-kun, konnichiwa." Malik greets me hello, looking somewhat puzzled. Even I'd be puzzled if I found Malik sitting on the ground, dazed and looking pained… but Isis wouldn't do that to her brother. No, of course not. She wouldn't do that, as she is a very refined and sophisticated person.
"Judging by your position, Bakura threw you out of a window?"
"Un."
"Yeah, thought so. Isis does it all the time. I'd say she enjoys it. After my yami, I'd say she's next up with the whole humour-pain thing. Never thought my sister to be that type, really…"
"Does she really? Come on, Isis?"
"You'd be surprised. Certainly not crazy, not after what I've seen, but getting there."
"Ah… Want to come in? The apartment, I mean…"
"Yeah, that's why I came actually."
"Ok, do…"
"What are you doing down here, gaki?" Says a much-unexpected sharp voice that was more snarling than talking, doesn't seem to be doing its job because Malik is unperturbed and to my surprise, cracks a good-natured grin as he dramatically plays 'unwelcome, but unabashed visitor'.
"Paying you a nice little visit," Malik expresses sanguinely, gesturing an open 'you're welcome' by his standards, "So, Bakura, it's been some time. How's the tofu?"
Translation time! (It's been a long chapter, I cannot guarantee I can find every Japanese term I have used.)
Yami: This is a 'name'. It means 'dark'.
Yuugi: Also a name. Yuugi means 'game'. Hence, Yami no yuugi, means 'Dark Game'.
Ittarasshai: Eng. Equiv. 'Welcome in.'
Wakatta: 'I have understood'.
Daijobou data: I am fine (past tense)
Yokatta: 'Good' (past tense)
Mou ii yo: Lit. That's good. What it means is 'That's enough'.
Nii-chan: remember –chan? Good. Nii-chan is the most humble way you can say 'elder brother'.
Baka: You have got to know this. Means 'idiot. Stupid, moron, imbecile' etc.
Un: Sort of like 'yeah' in an agreeing way. Sort of like the aural version of a nod. Yes, I like that description.
Gaki: Malik, no, joke joke. Means 'brat'. Bakura uses it to refer to Malik.
In Japan, you add something at the end. Denotes status and your relationship with people.
Formal (for anybody): reincarnate-SAN
Informal (female, although if your guy doesn't mind and is extremely kawaii (cute) then I guess you can use with a guy.): ryou-CHAN (familiar with this term for our albino bishonen? (bishonen: cute young guy.)
Informal (male): hisoka-KUN (Got that name off Yami no Matsui: Dark Descendants)
Formal (for doctors, teachers. Anybody of mastery at what they do): Sawaki-SENSEI (He's my teacher for Japanese.)
Formal (for people you look up to, role model): ocean-SENPAI (yes, I look up to this author.)
Formal (making them almost royal, the supreme honorific): Lizeth-SAMA (Got to love her fiction. Sigh, she can write, and she can draw… some people have it all…some what neither.)
Informal (used for your toy or pet): Ryou-plushie-KO
(Please use all this info up there in the review, so I know my audience is learning something. Feel free to use –san. –chan is a TAD scary and freaks me out a BIT. –kun, don't go there. –sensei, haha, aren't you funny? –senpai, ooohh, anybody? –SAMA, flatterers out there, use this. –ko, I'd be… more than disturbed.)
Please review this almost 8000 word chapter. Why are they getting longer? Memo to self: Must make chapters somewhat shorter.