Disclaimer: (Drunken babble) Eh... we don' own nothin'! You can't tell US wha we own an' wha we don'! (Faints)

A/N: Y'know... we're not humble by nature, so we'll truthfully say, that while you were at home staring blankly at the computer screen hoping madly for an update, WE were out having the time of our lives!! Ok, no we weren't, we were working our arses off and we getting NOTHING in return!!

Anrion: That's what happens when you're minion to a vampire overlord, I suppose.... Although, I can't speak for Sanaria... what WERE you doing?!

Sanaria: The question is not WHAT, but....

Anrion: Then what is the question?

Sanaria: Note the dot, dot, dot.

Anrion: O... OH! Oh.

Sanaria: (Clears throat) On to the story!!

CHAPTER FIFTEEN: Old Time Rock 'N' Roll

"PARTY IN THE TEACHERS' LOUNGE!"

Harry and Ron turned, taking one last wistful look at the building that had been their home for six years.

"It's not gonna be here when we get back, is it?" Ron asked, turning to look at Harry.

Harry shook his head sadly. Ron let out a small whimper before turning and running (with a lot of gibbering) off toward the train flailing his arms above his head.

McGonnagal seated herself with a satisfied smile as she looked about the teacher's lounge. A polite and delightful tea party was commencing, all planned and executed perfectly by her. Taking a tea cup she smiled at a rather bored looking Dumbledore and breathed in the intoxicating smell. Christmas was here and she had two weeks of silence and relaxation ahead of her.

Snape dosed in the corner twitching and muttering to himself. A rather crude snore followed closely by, "That feels good," was the only sound that could be heard in the lounge. Flitwick looked around the room in increased paranoia as he reached into his robes an pulled out a travel sized vodka bottle. Silently he began pouring it into his tea. Taking a sip and glaring into the liquid, he threw the cup over his shoulder and waited for the fulfilling smash. Uncorking the hard liquor once more, he drank directly from the bottle. (Sanaria and Anrion do not promote drinking)

Suddenly the peace was shattered. Sirius threw back the doors, as if in slow motion, and strutted into the room. Minerva glared into her tea cup but said nothing. Dumbledore sat up a little straighter and Severus continued to snore peacefully. Sirius plopped down into a chair next to Flitwick and was passed the vodka bottle.

"You're going to need this."

Sirius glanced around the somber group and gulped.

"Remmy?" He asked in a high pitched squeal, noticing that his partner in crime had not followed him into the room.

A lone figure stood at the top of a large banister in the Gryffindor common room. Dressed simply in a white button-down shirt and blue boxers. A pair of sunglasses rested upon his nose and his wand was clutched in his hand. Taking a running start, he leapt onto the railing and sailed down to take a sliding step and pull out his wand.

"Just take those old records off the shelf! I'll sit and listen to 'em by myself. Today's music ain't got the same soul! I like that old time rock 'n' roll!" He shouted into the silence, slowly moon walking across the common room floor.

Remus stopped suddenly, dramatically throwing his hair out of his face, looking toward the door. "My bad story sense is tingling!" (No Spider Man copyright infringement intended)

"And that was when I told him that the story was allegorical in a sense, but more theoretical," Minerva said with a dry, raspy chuckle.

Severus woke up and turned to see Minerva telling a story. Releasing a rather large sentence of curse words glomped together, he smacked his head against the stone wall and fell into a happy oblivion and unconsciousness. Sirius pointed his fingeres at his head, as if a muggle gun, and pulled the imaginary trigger. Flitwick took a hearty swig of vodka, which was later torn from his hands but a very adamant Dumbledore, who's only goal at the moment was to become completely and totally inebriated. Minerva didn't happen to notice any of this however, and went right on with her story.

Sirius reached into his pocket and dew out a laser pointer and directed it out the large window in front of which Minerva sat. Turning it on, he hoped his signal would catch Remmy's eye and his friend would send reinforcements, a horde, Trelawney, anything at the moment!

And with that, Remus turned and moon walked backwards toward the door. He stopped once more, running forward and snatching a cloak to swing around his shoulders before continuing his dance trek out the portrait hole. Passing a window nearby the Fat Lady, Remus looked out noticed a feeble light eminating from the teacher's lounge.

"The situation is dire indeed!" He shouted and began sprinting.

Sirius quickly pocketed the laser pointer as Minerva sent a withering glare in his direction. Raising his eyes to the heavens, he muttered a silent plea that Remus would respond. And quickly.

As if in reply, a loud clatter came from the hallway. Minerva broke off, looking indignantly at the doors with a murmur of, "My word!" And then, salvation came, as the doors were flung open, and Remus entered, guitar in hand.

"Hit it!" he shouted, backing into the room and strumming the guitar. Sirius quickly caught on to the beat of the song Seven Nation Army. With a swish of his wand, two drumsticks appeared on the table, and the wood was transfigured into a drum set. He picked up the sticks, coming in just in time.

"I'm gonna fight 'em off!" Remus sang.

Sirius added in, bringing his own twist to the song, "All of Voldie's army couldn't hold me back!"

Severus popped up from the corner with a startled snort. He looked over at Sirius and rolled his eyes, before his own foot betrayed him and began to tap to the beat, quickly followed by wild head bangs and mutterings of "Damn their superb music tastes!"

As if on instinct, Dumbledore reached into his robes, snatching a lighter from who-know's-where, waving it in the air in silent appreciation. Bad idea, as at that moment, a VERY tipsy Flitwick giggled and flung the rest of the vodka onto the Headmaster's beard, immediately setting it ablaze.

Catching sight of the blaze out of the corner of his eye, Sirius, without missing a beat, stood and shouted, "To the Defense Against the Dark Arts room!" continuing to pound the sticks against any solid surface hs could find as he followed Remus out the door and led a procession of very out of character Hogwarts teachers down the halls of the school.

As the line paraded down the Hogwartian hallways, they were, of course, making quite a ruckus, so the few students yet left at school (namely Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy) popped out of a doorway, watching with wide eyes as the train of (mostly) formerly dignified adults passed.

Sirius stopped and took the chance to pound out a self proclaimed "face melting" drum solo on the top of the Malfoy heir's platinum head.

Draco let out an enraged squawk and took off down the hall after a fleeing Sirius and Remus with Hermione in tow.

But as soon as they entered the DADA classroom, the Slytherin had another problem entirely to worry about, as Hermione made a straight line for a seat right next to where Remus sat perched on the teacher's desk, strumming the guitar and singing random lyrics under his breath.

"Oh professor," she sighed contentedly, "I never knew that you were this talented!"

Remus looked at her with a scrunched brow, glancing around behind him to see who she was talking to and trying for the life of him to figure out WHAT on earth she was talking about.

Hermione sighed again, leaning over to an also swooning Snape and whispering, "He sings, he plays the guitar, hands out chocolate, and is SO incredibly hot! What CAN'T the man do?"

Snape shrugged, caught up in Remus's "heavenly" vocals. However, Sirius had an answer. Side-stepping a seething Draco, he came to stand at Hermione's shoulder and said simply, "Dance."

Everyone looked at him as he shuddered at a rather disturbing memory from second year....

FLASHBACK

Sirius snuck quietly into the dorm, it was a silent Christmas Break evening, James and Peter were both at home for the break, and Remus had yet to be seen that night.

But suddenly, he caught sight of his friend sliding across the floor in his underwear, pretending to do an air guitar and munching contentedly on a twizzler.

"R...Remus?!"

Remus looked up, the red candy falling limply from his open mouth. "Sirius...." he looked around in fright, "Please don't tell people how I live!"

Sirius shuddered. "James won't ever know."

"Thank you!"

END FLASHBACK

And James never did. But now, the entire staff and two students did as Sirius recounted the lucid memory of the werewolf's dancing talent.

"Sirius!" Remus cried in horror, literally throwing the guitar at his friend.

Sirius laughed and caught it, but was shoved aside by a livid Draco before retorting, who strode right up to Remus and shoved a finger in his face. "Lupin," he snarled, "I challenge you to a dance off!"

"What?" Remus asked in confusion. "What for?"

"For Hermione, you lycanthropic nit-wit!"

Remus stepped back in shock. "Malfoy! I don't WANT Hermione!"

"But she wants you!"

"No she doesn't! I'm old enough to be her father! Quite literally! I mean, I-" he stopped, staring at Hermione as though seeing her for the first time. "Oh... my... god. Hermione... are you adopted?"

"What?" Hermione asked, "Why?"

"Sirius!" Remus shrieked in panic, "You remember that one girl? At James' bachelor party? She-"

Sirius stared at Hermione in shock. "Oh my good lord."

Hermione glared at them. "I am NOT adopted!"

"How do you know?! You have her hair!"

"My nose!" Remus added.

"Her eyes...."

"I'm NOT adopted, you ninnies!"

Draco smirked, "That would make everything easier for me."

The three arguing parties stopped and glared. "Stay out of this, Malfoy!" they all shrieked simultaneously.

lol. Sorry, I know, that was stupid and short, but it's as good as we're going to dish out right now! We'll try to update sooner this time!!

And none of the songs used in this chapter belong to us!!