I CHALLENGE YOU TO A TRIVIA?
Disclaimer: I am not Kazuki Takahashi. I do not own YGO.
A/N: This is shorter than previous chapter. One, long chapters take a lot of time to edit. Two, a bit long don't you think? Three, it isn't an equinox of any sort so no celebrations for dear audience just yet. Help sustain deprived authors and review.
I CHALLENGE YOU TO A TRIVIA?
(Orange-factor)
FACT: I will KILL that brat who shoved the idea of being vegetarian under my hikari's nose…I will kill that blonde brat. I will!
"Kisama…Omae wo korosu…" Nothing like the blunt sentence that gives minimal time for the prey to figure out a plan to get away. Of course, by the time they figure out that you want to kill them, you would've already have half a dozen knives sticking out of their body. At least half a dozen.
"Nice to see you too."
"Amazing how someone like you in your situation can still smile at the prospect at a painful death. Believe me, you are going to beg for death after I'm done with you."
"Tut, tut, tut. At the risk of also sounding clichéd, you are not going to get away with this."
"Your point being?"
"Ryou! Your yami is trying to kill me…again!"
Have I ever made it clear that, I HATE THAT BRAT?
"Bakura! Put him down," he says trying to stare angrily at my offending arm, which is proudly hoisting that blonde brat approximately half a foot off the ground.
"Indeed I will." I am more than glad to have my hikari's permission to 'put down' the Egyptian grave keeper.
"No Shadow magic!" he yells. If it really has to come to this, I am willing to go there. But if my hikari complains that it is too messy, it is entirely his fault.
"Pity. Then, I will have to kill you manually." Drawing a convenient knife from a hidden armband, and testing it, I cannot believe am I, the greatest tomb robber in all history, am submitting to my hikari when he glowers at the knife. Since when did I listen to my hikari?
"Yami! No knives, no Shadow magic, please? Someone will get hurt…"
Someone will get hurt? I INTEND for a certain someone to get hurt…make that two someones if Ryou doesn't move. And did he call me Yami again? Get it right; it is 'Bakura', Bakura not Yami. I do not want to be mistaken for that pathetic nameless Pharaoh.
"Bakura! Let go of him! You are not going to kill him!"
"Says you and what army?" My hikari says I won't kill the brat? This IS laughable…that is if I hadn't started to feel guilty around about now. Damn those eyes, 'hikari's eyes, they've been nicknamed. They're the ultimate defence and strategy again homicidal yamis, the thing is that…it works.
Damn.
"Fine. Only because I don't want to be made to clean up after the bloodbath, I will not eviscerate you, hang your carcass to dry and allow you to be eaten by ants. I challenge you to a Shadow game!"
"Bakura! No Shadow Games, no killing Malik! No evisceration! No feeding remains to ants! No…"
"Is this how boring my life is going to become?" Malik contemplated.
What! Malik is having his ass saved by my hikari and he's complaining? But then, do my murderous thoughts make his life interesting? I am amusing him? Let's not go there.
"Um…how about a friendly duel?"
Even Malik raised his eyebrow. I, on the other hand, have no use for euphemisms and laugh in his face. He was kidding right? There was going to be no friendly duel, you naïve creature. Malik, Bakura and friendly. Those three words in the same sentence without the use of negatives, unless you want to die due to apocalypse, should NEVER happen. There was no chance in the Shadow Realm was that was EVER going to happen. It just doesn't. The idea is so far fetched that even…Malik was laughing. Need I tell you more?
"Eh…a normal duel, WITHOUT Shadow magic, blood, knives, alcohol, drugs, memory loss, deals, negotiation…"
No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Don't you get it Ryou? Malik and I aren't exactly, how would you put it, the best of friends?
The boy's definition of 'normal duel', unfortunately, is extremely awry. His definition of a normal duel would be a delightful trip to Kaiba Land, renting an arena, having a duel WITHOUT the following: magic, Shadow magic, mysterious comas, death, weapons, blood, blood pacts and blood altogether. Then after a boring duel, the one who had eluded death has to buy an ice cream for the one who is still fuming over the fact that he could have killed somebody. This is NOT how I operate. I like magic, Shadow magic, mysterious comas, death, weapons, blood, blood pacts, blood altogether, stealing, killing Malik, Yami…'s puzzle…But then again, I am starting to get used to the idea of the ice cream. I especially like the Super Chocolate Cone. I like the chocolate cream, chocolate topping, chocolate chips, chocolate tip, chocolate cone, chocolate centre, chocolate flakes and could it be? I like the sweet brown confectionary that brings certain females to their knees, called chocolate? I find myself drooling over the idea of a chocolate yami…err…chocolate is yami, no! Chocolate is yummy! Yummy Yami…No! Yummy NOT Yami!
I think I'll stop thinking about…ice cream…for now. It is starting to make my imagination wander towards 'unfavourable' directions.
"For originality, how about a trivia?"
"Trivia?" WHAT? It isn't normal! Who in their right mind/s would challenge anybody to a trivia? No one sane would challenge anyone to a 'trivia'. But then, since when have I been a stickler for the orthodox, right-mindedness or sanity? This is the boy's fault! Ryou is starting to grow on me, like a weed. Like a weed, I say! Not that I mind, he's a pretty weed that has buried roots of sentimentality, gentility, consciousness…I really need to get away from that boy. He's starting to affect my vocabulary.
"What about trivia, Ryou? I want to play."
Great. The Pharaohs' hikari, a more naive shine-bright kid than my own hikari.
"Great idea, Ryou. Everyone agree? Let's go, trivia it is. "
Double great. Shine-bright hikari's overly tall and blonde pup.
Wait-a-minute! I didn't agree to anything to do with a trivia! This wasn't in the bloody job description… Fine then, if you must, I will participate in this ludicrous trivia. I have more intelligence points than any Grave keeper, plus the fact that everybody is inferior to me, and this trivia will prove just that.
"No magic," I say. I am not stupid, after all, how can the Greatest Tomb Robber In All History be as dense as to not know that Malik can use that accursed Rod? If Malik uses that Millenium Rod, he can access knowledge from the memories of this mediocre horde and, that, is a disadvantage to me.
"I'm not going to use the Rod, because unlike you, I don't need it. Feel free to use for yourself."
"You underestimate me, Grave keeper. To fill your empty head, here's a bit of information: I do not need any help. Especially from any possessions you own."
4 words. Damn. My. Traitorous. Mouth.
And so it goes. Due to the fact that a normal 'Trivial Pursuit' board and cards could not be found, conveniently missing, if it didn't arouse any suspicion. These inferiors are like my hikari, extremely stupid and trusting. They wouldn't recognise a conspiracy even if there were a person whose aura screamed 'TOMB ROBBER' was standing not 2 meters from them.
Therein lies the reason why the Pharaoh suggested that everybody made up their own question. Extremely keen on seeing me crushing Malik over this trivia aren't you, Pharaoh?
"What does my tattoo look like?" The unnervingly passionate about Duel Monsters Pharaoh says.
"A variation of an Ankh, with a dagger bottom and the top with something like your hair. It is black and I think you should have gotten it done lower down."
Now how do you suppose I knew that?
"Yami! T-Tattoo! When did you get a tattoo?" The shorter, less egotistical tricoloured haired Yuugi says. Judging by his more-wide-eyed-expression-than-usual, I'll take it he doesn't know his yami has a tattoo? If my hikari had gotten a tattoo, I would know, no matter where he placed it. But then, it would be extremely scandalising for me if I knew where it was, assuming he placed his tattoo in the same area yami did. But my yadonushi is extremely modest; he would be placing any tattoos there any time soon.
Or so I think.
"Bakura! How…how did you know?!" Yami spluttered. Tut, tut, tut. Is the Pharaoh losing his composure over this? I have seen more than that tattoo, a lot more.
But he doesn't have to know that.
Never missing a beat or the chance to smirk, I was internally glad that the younger looking Mutous had a sky light in the their bedroom.
"I have my sources."
"It's not like I bare it for the world to see! It is hidden quite well, for most of the day."
"Like I said before, I have my sources. And you would be covering it up, otherwise the other you would scold you over public indecency? "
"Just what do you do in your spare time? That thought worries me."
"Next question, if you please." Malik breaks the tension with his less-than-happy tone of voice.
Bakura, the Great Tomb Thief:1.
Malik, the stupid Grave Keeper: Zilch.
"Yes. Next question," stalls Yuugi. I have a hunch that Yami will experience the vehemence of a cheesed off hikari sometime soon… That, and don't think he'll let any bedroom curtains remain open at night, for cautionary reasons.
"Who is the only person to see through the Black Silk Hat trick?"
"Me!"
Why that little conniving …how in the Shadow Realm was I supposed to know THAT? Of course Malik would know that, considering it IS about him. Since when has Yuugi made up his mind to conspire against me? What did I do to deserve this?
Ah, stupid question.
"Am I the only one? This. Is. Precious," Malik nattered. "Are you saying, apart from me, no one, not even the great tomb Robber, had ever guessed correctly?"
"No need to rub it in." Yuugi says dejectedly.
Bakura, the ever as infamous Soul Stealer: 1.
Malik, who only got that question because everybody was conspiring against me: 1
"There, there. Lighten up, Yuugi. My question. Which of the following will you the worst hangover? Vodka, brandy, port, chardonnay or VB?" says Honda, with his hair looking his usual worst, said as he comforted Yuugi with a pat on the back.
Vodka? What the hell was that? Brandy? I've heard of that. Port? That was alcohol? Chardonnay? What a ridiculous name. VB? I won't ask. Not that I have never touched alcohol in my unnaturally extended life, in fact, the contrary, but it had been a long time since I touched any alcohol. Try 3000 years stuck in the Millennium Ring without alcohol, then waking up to a world that has regulations over liquid joy.
"Port."
What about Port? Oh, Malik says Port. Like he would know. What are the chances of a blonde grave keeper who's been imprisoned underground knowing which is cause the worst hangover? Chances are one in a…
"Yeah. Malik gets another point." Honda says casually.
I believe there is one word that expresses my disbelief that THAT Grave Keeper got that right. And that word is, WHAT?!
Bakura, He Who Has Mastered Shadow Games: 1
Malik, the insignificant brat from Egypt who tried to swindle a deal over MY God Cards: 2
Do not worry; Malik's two points are due to an unfair question and a fluke. I, Bakura, the underdog, will emerge and defeat that arrogant Egyptian brat.
"Just how do you know that, Honda?" Yuugi asks, looking at him oddly. Seems to be a rage for him now, staring at people like that. First me, then Honda.
"Don't look at me like that! I don't drink!"
"Soudesu ka? I suppose the reason you said 'I'm not as think as you drunk I am' was because you don't drink?"
"I don't remember saying that."
"Because…"
"AHEM. Moving on, Jounouchi?"
"Hai! Speaking of alcohol, is it true that if you lick your finger and stick it into your beer, the foam will down?"
"Jounouchi! You were supposed to go off that topic not go along with it!" Honda yells as he ineffectively chokes his sidekick. He has the technique all wrong. If he asked nicely, I might demonstrate how he could do it efficiently with the least amount of energy…minimal charge even.
"True." The brat cockily spells out, smirking for all he and the God cards were worth as the pup nodded.
I would like to go with my past philosophy. Trivia is a waste of time. It is purely a distraction to amuse the lesser beings who have nothing to do.
"Bakura, what were saying about not needing any help?" The overly lucky purple-eyed Grave Keeper grins, as he takes a stab at my ego.
About demonstrating 'how to choke one effectively', I think I might do it free of charge if I have that brat as my subject.
"Worry about yourself first. I am more than capable to catch up and prove to you that you are inferior."
"You just keep telling yourself that."
Bakura, He Who Likes Raw Meat But Cannot Have Any Because His Hikari Is Vegan: 1
Malik, The Soon To Be Dead Millennium Rod Holder Who Persuaded My Hikari To Be Vegan: 3
"Sou, I think it's my turn." Says the dice obsessed subordinate of Yuugi.
"Otogi! Nothing about Dungeon Dice, they haven't played." Ever the adjudicator, the Pharaoh, I mutter.
"You think so little of me? Just because you beat me at my own game…"
"I believe that gives me that right to think little of you."
"You're too cocky for your own good, you know that?"
"Unlike you, I can afford to be cocky."
"If you keep that talk up, that'll give me the right to sock you one on the face."
"You wouldn't dare. How about a game to see who will punch who?"
"My question," Otogi apparently ignoring Yami, "is not a question. Let's give your tongues a bit of exercise, shall we?"
Laughing maniacally at the other implied meaning, I was not surprised to see the brat, the less than useful follower of Yuugi with demented hair, the blonde pup, the too cocky for his own good Pharaoh and am I hallucinating? Yuugi, the friends-are-here-for-me-forever soul vessel was also snickering to the undertone of Otogi's casual offer? What is the world coming to? How the hell would…ahh, clearly he isn't as naïve and 'clean' as I though he was.
"Aibou?" The smug Pharaoh questioned. At least I'm not the only one surprised by his sudden upgrade of mind to the wicked and corrupt.
"Eeto…"
Why so shy? If you must deny it and continue your innocence charade, some day you will look back on this time, laugh nervously and change the subject.
Otogi, shaking his head, grinning absurdly at what he did not understand, scrawled down some unintelligible sentence, that, or it was that tongue twister, on a piece of paper.
"The big black bug bled black blood."
Simple. Easy. Score for Bakura.
Bakura, He Who Strikes Again: 2.
Malik, the unhinged leader of the dim-witted Gurus who attempted and FAILED to take all the God Cards: 3.
"Che," Clearly, Malik the Brat is fuming over the ineptness of his tongue. "How often do you 'exercise your tongue'?"
Believe it or not, I think my hikarishied away from my consciousness and hid in his Soul Room. There was no way in hell was I going to be believe that it was possible that my hikari could have understood that. But, what other valid reason was there? My hikari was becoming associated to a proper thought pattern, about time too. Twice in one day, the dark sides have proven they are more influential that thought to be.
You little dirty minded…
/Gomen! I-I…/
Congratulations!
/Bakura! I am NOT…/
Dirty minded, becoming immoral, corrupt, wicked, able to understand certain innuendoes…
/Misled, tainted, been spending too much time around you?/
"My question. Malik, yami, are you listening?" Taking over his body, obviously to escape me, he was assaulted by that purple-eyed gold-decked Egyptian brat.
"Ryou! Did you hear how I defeated your overly confident yami?"
Kisama… It's not over yet! I WILL answer this question correctly, and when I win this trivia I am going to use this moment to bag you at every chance I get…
"He says the trivia can take turn midway and is willing to compete to the end."
At least dub with some accuracy…
"Very well. My question: What is the 23nd element on the periodic table?"
"Hydrogen, helium…" Counted the stupid brat.
"Vanadium! Ha, Malik! Now we're equal! I told you I would catch up." I take over his body again. Didn't I tell you that it'd be cinch to catch up?
"That's not fair. Your hikari probably let you go through his Soul Room." He yelled, even though it was probably doing more harm to my hikari's body's ears than getting any message through to me.
"Did not. Oi, yadonushi, still alive? Did you grant me access to your Soul Room?"
/No…/
"He said 'No'. There! Fair point for me."
/…you sort of barged in and trawled through looking for something and now my Room is all messy…/
No one else has to know that
Bakura, The Triumphant: 3
Malik, The Not So Triumphant: 3
"Ittarrashai!"
Who came?
"Malik! Oh, is everyone here?"
"Nii-chan!"
"Shizuka! Daijobou?"
"Jounouchi Katsuya, give me some credit."
"Mai-san."
"A-hem," the brat interrupts. Possibly the only sensible thing he's done today. "This reunion is all very touching, but Bakura and I have a score to settle."
"Really, Malik? Then why don't I see a Shadow Game going on?" countered his sister.
"Because my host wouldn't allow it."
"You sound bitter, Bakura. He is a very nice and sensible boy. You should listen to him more often."
/Hear that, yami?/
BA. KU. RA.
"Nee-san, we're making the questions up. You're next."
What are you plotting Malik? Want to answer a question that you know that your sister will say?
"Ah, the Sun God…"
"Ra."
"Ra."
"Sorry, Bakura but…"
"I answered it first!!!" Malik celebrated. Not for long if I can help it.
Bakura, Who Will Catch Up:3
Malik, Who Is GOING DOWN:4
"Nii-chan. Can I have a go?"
"Of course."
So, this was Shizuka? The girl who makes two idiots natter constantly and basically asks to be thrown into the Shadow Realm? Interesting, no one knows her. Maybe she'd do a fair question.
"Apart from Denmark what is another country beginning with 'D'?"
Ryou, you're good at these things, help me out
/That's cheating/
…and I thought you were becoming more like me…
"Djibouti."
"Malik! You did learn something from your atlas!" Said an annoyingly happy Isis.
"What were you doing with an atlas?" asks the Pup.
That's what I want to know. Could it be? Despite the 'tough guy' look, could it be that he was like my overly studious hikari?
"I…was bored."
"Honto?" The pup says sceptically.
"Why don't you believe me?"
"The question here should be 'why should they believe you?'"
"Bakura, you're just sour because I won."
Bakura: 3
Malik: 5
I am sour because he won? I am NOT sour because he won…because he hasn't won yet.
"You. Make a question." I point out, glaring at the other blonde woman, which apparently has a fetish for purple and anything short.
"Atashi?" Pointing to herself with a manicured fingernail, she questioned whether I was serious or not.
"Yes, you." Yes, I am serious.
"You have to work on your manners, boy."
Don't mention 'manners' of any sort to me.
"Oh, stop death glaring. Here's the question. '90% of women turn left or right when entering a department store?"
"Right."
This Mai character gives me a very odd look, not dissimilar to Yuugi's.
"How did you know, or did you guess?"
"Ryou does it."
/…Bakura! I'm not a woman! How can you say that…/
One, easily. Two, you do turn right. Three, payback for not helping me with the country question.
/Just you wait. Dinner time, I AM going to teach you table manners./
Ryou! I am not learning table manners! How can suggest such…
/One, easily. Two, even Mai-san says you need to be taught manners. Three, payback for department answer./
…I'm not sure whether I should laugh at the absurdity of you teaching me table manners OR at the fact that you're becoming more evil by the week…
A/N: 3, 800 word chapter. Any suggestion to 'how to straighten out plot lines'? No, I'm not asking the general audience to make it rated 'G'. Because, if my plot line can be drawn, looks like a spider with too many legs. Just to keep it focused one sone aspect, he'll go along with no more than 5 plot lines. Suggestions, please appear in review box.
Translations:
Doumo Arigatou!: Many thanks. You can say 'doumo' is you are feeling particularly lazy, or 'arigatou' or even 'arigatou gozaimas'. The last one is rather formal and isn't used so often around friends.
Nii-chan: The most humble way of saying 'elder brother'.
Shizuka: That, is a name. It also means 'quiet'.
Daijobou: (pronounced as 'dai-jo-boo') Means: 'Okay?' in the context of 'are you feeling alright?'
Jounouchi: Also a name. People to only watch the dubbed version, this is Joey. Jounouchi consist of 3 kanji. Means 'castle within' or 'object which lodges inside a castle'. Personally, I have my own little philosophy about that, but this is meant to be brief.
Katsuya: Jou's first name. Remember, Japanese people have their surnames first, THEN given names. I'm not so sure about this one because it doesn't make sense in the orthodox way in my language but I'm sure there's an implied meaning to it.
Mai: Mai Valentine, for the dub watchers. Mai, reading the kanji, means 'dance'.
Soudesuka: English equiv.= Is that so? Or 'Ah huh…' Can be used to indicate disbelief, interest, just depends how you say it. (tone-wise)
Hai: You SHOULD know this. For those who don't know, this means 'yes'. Japanese people use it often in the context of 'Well, insert sentence here.'