For those of you who are wondering, I never stopped updating, I've just been having computer problems, see, I had this chapter written out, but then, it got deleted and I had to start over, which I stalled on for a long time, so I took forever.. Sorry People!

And I have another reveiwer! VanyD I think.. Yeah.. I agree with pretty much everything you say, but I'm not changing anything untill I finish. Why, because I'm too damn lazy and I feel like writing the rest. I'll fix it, but not now.. Yeah.. Oh I have to say one thing to say about Tasuki, he isn't THAT rough, he could be playful and teasing.. But to other people he might be mean, well, that's how I see him..

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Chapter 20: Fear

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*

When I first saw you, I was afraid to talk to you

When I first talked to you, I was afraid to like you

When I first liked you, I was afriad to love you

Now that I love you, I'm afraid to lose you

*

(Chichiri's PoV)

She stood there for a while not knowing what to do, I haven't gotten, or even tried to get close to her since I was afraid to. I didn't know if she wanted me to. Now that the two of us know our feelings for each other.. It's been a bit awkward since we got back, not talking but getting closer, it's strange.. I hadn't been in love with a girl for 6 years.. but of course.. I wasn't sure if I was still in love with Kouran.. or if I'm over her..

I feel as if I was just using Kibou as a replacment.. as if I'm just abandoning Kouran now.. "..Don't worry Chichiri, really.. I'll be

fine, ok? Right now, I'm the only seishi that's actually capable of.. doing something. So if anything, I should be worried about you." She said turning around and hugging me in front.

A bit shocked by what she said, I kept silence which created another awkward silence. "I guess your kinda right.. I guess, no da.."

"I AM right! Houjun, while I'm out there, I'm going to be worried about YOU! So YOU be careful out there!" she said a laughed a bit.

I chuckled slightly. "What you think I'm funny?" she asked teasingly. "Ya wanna fight? Huh? Punk.."

I smiled. "You sure have a way of twisting words, no da."

"Hey, I only speak the truth, so be careful Chiri!" She said and pulled away from me and jumped on the bed. A happier feeling filled the room, she wanted it to be happy and not sad.. I walked past the bed and went to the desk in my room where my bag was. I opened it to the small amount of items that I carried with me. I brought out a hair peice that had a pink flower at the end and two golden sticks came out of it. Something that I was going to give to Kouran, I turned back to Kibou and she was "burrowing" under the blankets. She came back up and her hair was still wet, was more messed up and all over. She looked to me. "The blankets are so thick and soft.. How come your blanket is better than my blanket? My blanket's gay.."

I smiled. "Here Kibou, no da."

I handed the hair peice to her and she took it slowly and looked at it. "Wow.. is this real gold?"

I nodded. "Wow.. Thanks Houjun, I-I don't what to say.. thanks! It's really pretty.. Thank you Houjun."

I looked down so she wouldn't see the emotion going through my head, that she would be able to see through my eyes. "It's something that I thought you might like, no da."

"I do! I really do!" she exclaimed as she started to put her hair up with it. I couldn't tell her that it was orginally suppose to be Kourans..I don't know what she might think.. I looked back up and Kibou had put her hair up in a bun, but let some hair down, for a slight moment, she looked like Kouran... She looked up to me. "Are you ok?"

She actually noticed.. "I'm fine, no da." I said still having my head bowed, I wasn't too sure how I sounded to her..

She came off the bed and up to me. "No your not. Your head is down, and your voice is flat, what's wrong?"

"I can't hide anything form you, can I, no da?"

She smiled. "I can't hide anything from you, so I think we're even." She said looking up at my face. "Your upset about giving me this."

I turned around and sat on the bed. "I'm not upset.. It just brought up something.."

"..Ok.. I'll stop, thanks Houjun.." she said in a serious tone.

She come to the mirror and took her hair down, but then put it back into a full bun. Then she started to take her robe off, I turned away quickly and I felt myself blushing furiously. She came back over to me, I thought she was still undressed, but she was now fully dressed.. Did she have her clothes in here?..

"I'm going out for a bit." She said and kissed the top of my head and was about to leave the room but I grabbed her wrist.

"Where are you going, no da? It's late, we have to get some rest in, no da."

She got out of my grasp. "I didn't get to go see Namame.. I wanted to go see her.."

That's right, we had been in Hokkan and Sairou for so long, I had forgotten what had happened before we left. Namame's Perdiction came back to mind, she knew all along that we would be together, and knew she could escape her death, but didn't.. Because she knew that Kibou would worry too much and would have stayed behind and we wouldn't have been together.

Right now.. If we didn't know of our love for each other.. Then one of us might've not make it through the war. I stood up. "I'm not letting you go by yourself, no da." I said getting up, I quickly got dressed and Kibou waited for me.

When I was done I came to her. "Ok, we could go now." I said as I put my kesa on.

She went out the door, I followed her. We walked next to each other, but that was it.. To me, it felt like another awkward moment. I wasn't use to this.. since we were together, it felt awkward that we were only walking side by side.

I had to crack out of my shell.. Kouran's gone and I'm sad about it..but I can't take it out on Kibou and not do anything that a normal couple does. She hasn't been able to have the comfort of another person like this.. ever.. I wasn't going to ruin this for her now by not doing something that a normal couple does because I'm not use to it, it just isn't fair forher..

A bit hesitantly, I reached my hand out to her and slipped her hand in mine. I looked down to her and saw that she was blushing. She moved a little closer to me and we continued to walk out of the palace, hand in hand. We had to go all the way out of town, it was quite a ways form the palace.

"Thank you for coming with me, Houjun.." she said moving slightly more closer to me.

"I wouldn't let you come out here alone, no da." I said. I felt her shivering and looked back down to her. Of course, with her skirt that short, who wouldn't be cold on a night this cold? Slowly letting her hand go, I took my kesa off and wrapped it around her. My arm remained on her shoulders and she put one arm around my waist.

I heard a small sniffle from Kibou. I looked again down to her and saw a tear slid down her soft cheek. I stoped for a moment. "What's wrong, no da?"

"This is the first time.. The first time that anyone's done that.." she said looking down.

I wiped away her tear and she followed my hand up and faced me. "I just can't believe your with me Houjun, after everything, you stuck with me, and now your even holding my hand.."

I couldn't help but hug her and hold her close. "We're together now..I feel exact way about you." ..But I think I'm still in love with Kouran too..

I slightly pulled away and we came face to face. Her eyes were now glistening the moon above us and her skin seemed pale and soft. I closed my eyes and leaned down to her.

"..HEY!!"

I opened my eyes and looked over and saw Tasuki. I sighed, everytime.. It was getting a tad bit annoying. Kibou pulled away, I could see she was frowning. Tasuki ran over to us. "Where do you think you two are going in the middle of the night? Sneakin' off somewhere?"

"Of course not." Kibou snorted. "We're going to see Namame's grave."

"Who the hell's Namame?"

Kibou's frown only deepened. "You inconsiderate bas-"

"Namame was an important person to Kibou who was killed because of Nakago before we left for Hokkan, no da." I answered before Kibou would lose her head. "How could yo-"

"I didn't know!" Tasuki yelled defending himself. "Damn woman, sorry!"

Kibou's eye twitched. "..'Woman'? Tasuki, I will kick your ass and you will wish you were never born to have those words come out of your mouth!"

"Kibou, calm down, you'll wake someone, no da."

Kibou sighed heavily. "Please Tasuki, Namame was really important to me. I just wanted to pay my respects and visit her grave, since it was my fault that she died.."

"Ok, ok, I get you, I'm sorry!"

She snorted again. "I wish you would say it more sincerely but I guess that's the best that's gonna come out of you."

Tasuki came with us to the end of the town, I felt even more uncomfortable even though I wanted to be close to Kibou. She had already stormed off ahead. We caught up to her and she was on her knees staring at Namame's grave, her arms dropped at her side. I came up to her and saw a sword driven into Namame's grave. On this sword, was Genbu. She looked at the gravestone, I looked at it too. 'Namame, a long respected woman. A honorable Genbu seishi, and a wonderful person. Her sword that she made out of her bare hands will rest atop here, never to be moved. May she rest in peace.'

Kibou reached out and touched the sword, but pulled away quickly when shocked by some kind of force that protected the sword. "..Some one put a curse on it.. It must've been with Genbu's power.. but how?" she muttered to herself. (A/N: and you won't know any time soon.)

She turned to us. "I'm ready to go back. It's late already, I've been a pain in the ass, we need our rest anyway."

She disapeared right before our eyes. She teleported back. "I don't get her." Tasuki said as we started to walk back to the palace. "She wants to be so damn alone. I can't even tell you two are together."

"..She's just not use to it, no da."

Tasuki looked to me. "You haven't worn your mask to often around her."

"…That's how she met me. She likes calling me my real name too.. it's just how she started off with me, and so she likes me without my mask."

Was Tasuki actually really TALKING to me? A normal conversation? ..I guess he's a bit worried about Kibou. Everyone always is. She has a sad look in her eyes a lot, enough that it looks like she going to hurt herself. Her past has been so rough on her. She's gotten so much pain from here too. I guess everyone notices that.

"It took her a while to start calling me Tasuki, so I guess your right… Hey a pub, come on Chichiri, lets have a drink!"

"Tasuki, I do-"

"Come ON! Quit your whinin', it's our last night before the damn war, I want to get that thought out of my head! Come on Chiri!"

I looked towards the palace, I hoped that Kibou was okay.. Tasuki wouldn't get off my case, but I can't help but worry about Kibou. Tasuki went into the pub giving up on me, I didn't want to abandon Tasuki, but I was worried about Kibou, I know that Tasuki could take care for himself. I know that Kibou would as well but.. i can't help but worry about her.

"Tasuki, I'm just going to head back, no da." I yelled into the pub but then when Tasuki didn't answer, I just kinda left. I came back to the palace and back to my room. Kibou was in there and fast asleep. I came over to her, I looked over her head. I leaned down and slightly pecked her on the cheek. Then I climbed into the bed and pulled the blanket over me and we both fell asleep.

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In the morning, I found Kibou in my arms still fast asleep. Tasuki burst through the door dressed in his armor and ready to go out to war. "Hey! Get up you two! We need to get ready! They're comin'!"

Kibou opened her eyes. "I wanna sleep more.. I don't wanna go to war..."

"Just sleep for now, Kibou no da. I'll wake you after I'm done dressing. It won't take you long to get dressed would it, no da?"

She shook her head. "No, I could get ready pretty quick." she said as I got out fo the bed. When i was about to reach for my clothes, I saw that she went back to sleep. She was tired... I can't believe that Tasuki wasn't tired from staying at that Pub, though I didn't know how long he was there. I got dressed a bit slowly and put m mask on. I then shook her slightly.

"Ready to get up, no da?" I asked softly

She yawned. "..No, but I'll get up.. "

"I'll get us some breakfast okay, no da?"

She nodded and closed her eyes again. I went down to the kitchen and got us something to eat. When I came back up, Kibou was dressed and half her body was hanging off her bed. I set the food on the desk and came ack to her and picked her up off the ground and she layed down, she opened her eyes again and looked at me. "...We have to get going, don't we?"

I nodded. She sat up and we ate our small meal quickly and soon we left for the battle field. Kibou chose to ride a seperate horse, since she herself was fighting against the Kutou forces.

Lightning struck some of our soldiers, te only explaination was that the Seiryu seishi were close by. And in fact they were, we came by them when they were at the top of a cliff. I saw Kibou jump off her horse and draw her sword. She jumped up to Nakago and tried to slash him.. She's making moves too fast. She missed and only hit his armor, he had turned around to protect someone behind him.

Miaka recognized her, it was her friend, Yui. Kibou stayed up there and glared and Yui. "Yui, your on the wrong side."

"Kibou-san, you remember?" asked Yui looking shocked.

Kibou smirked. "My memories are back.. I know everything now.. and I know your on the wrong side!"

Yui looked down and Suboshi came around and slung his ryuseisei at her. Kibou jumped away and back down to us. She was holding her arm. "Dammit, I'm not fast enough. How the hell do I get slower when my power isn't to fight?"

"Suzaku could've granted you more power, no da." I said about to get off my horse. She reached into her robe and brought out a couple bandages. She wrapped it around the arm that she was bleeding from.

"Kibou yo-"

"I'm fine, Houjun. It's kind of deep, but as long as I keep this on untill things cool down, I'll be fine." she said interupting me.

Yui soon jumped off her horse and a blue light surrounded her. She yelled a wish out, a wish to take her and Miaka back to their world. A blue light then surrounded Miaka. Kibou looked to her. "Miaka!"

"Ohne-chan!" She yelled. Kibou ran to her as fast as she could and when she jumped to reach out to her, she disapeared, along with Tamahome and Miaka..

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Ha..ha...ha.. there we go, sorry ppl, that I took so long, I swear, I'll get the next chapter out soon! Reveiw now please!! I know it was short, but I had to rewrite this so many times.. because of my brother with the deletely.. so sorry about that... but I just decided to end it this way! ...yeah..

Opaaru Tsuki starting to use my technique of doing stuff...:P nah, I'm kiddin', continue your story soon too Opaaru!

...It kinda ended abruptly.. and.. moved a little fast there..sorry, I'm just tired of writing this chapter so many times, so I got frustrated with it. So I just wanted to get it out and get to the next chapter, I hope you understand.

And for those who are wondering.. a floppy disk.. wasn't much of an option.. since, I wasn't here when my brother reformated his computer so.. yeah..

PLEASE REVEIW!!

~*Cosmicmoon