-----------Whose Line is it Anyway?
I've been in a writer's block for a while, I was starting to come up with some things but the damn hacker threw all those plans into chaos. However, not everything was scrapped,
My next fanfic venture is one I've wanted to do for a while. This time, I'm having the cast of RK (I may expand into other anime and possibly games if this bears good fruit) be performers on Whose Line is it Anyway.
Just for standard formality reasons, I DO NOT own RK or Whose Line, otherwise I'd be wouldn't be writing this every 5 seconds.
I will also have some my characters host the show while I'm at it. So if you want a good laugh, take a look and see what would happen if one of the funniest shows on TV gets a visit from some of the craziest folks ever known.if you haven't already..
RK/Whose Line #1: Kenshin, Kaoru, Yahiko, Sanosuke
Host: Juno the apprentice
Juno: Good evening everyone, and welcome to "Whose Line is it Anyway?". On tonight's show.. He's Doctor Jekell & Mr. Hyde, Kenshin Himura!
Off with their heads! Kaoru Kamiya!
You can't make an omelet without breaking a few Yahiko Miyojin!
And do you feel lucky, punk? Sanouske Sagara!
Hey, I'm your host, Juno. So let's go down and have some fun! *Audience applauds*
Juno: Welcome to "Whose Line is it Anyway". The show where everything is made up, and the points don't matter. Just like lawyers to the Heartless. If you've just crawled out of a cave and started watching this show, what happens is that these four guys are gonna act out all sorts of scenes and I award them fakey points, which don't mean squat. At the end of the show we pick a winner, who gets to do something special with me. While the losers have to endure the "shoulder dodge into groin kick."
(Audience groans while Yahiko grins wickedly).
Aside from that, I'd like to thank all our guests for being here tonight. We've got a lot of show for you, so let's start with a game called "News Flash". This is for Kenshin, Sanouske, and Yahiko. What happens is that Kenshin is covering a live story on the green screen, and he has to try and figure out what's behind him with hints from Yahiko and Sano.
Kenshin: This isn't a green screen at all. It's blue, that it is.
Everyone snickers
Juno: ...Yeah. Whenever you're ready, let's start the scene.
Yahiko: ..so that bald Canadian struck it rich, huh?
Audience laughs
Sano: Yeah. Oh, we interrupt this program for a special news bulletin. We have our award winning reporter, Kenshin on the scene. How are you doing out there?
The scene depicts bits from the show in which Kenshin gets the crap beat out of him by Kaoru and co. The audience roars with laughter.
Kenshin: What?
Sano: Kenshin, what's going on out there?
Kenshin; (Looks at blue screen) I've no idea but it's madness, I can tell you that much.
Yahiko: What a nightmare! Kenshin, how did this start?
Kenshin: ..It all started with a can of itching powder (Audience laughs) then this exploded into pandemonium!
Yahiko: Ouch! Kenshin, I fear for your safety. Are sure you're okay?
Blue screen shows Kenshin get the royal crowning treatment from Kaoru when Megumi first flirts with him at the dojo. Loud laughter explodes
Kenshin: (Looks behind him).Yes. Thankfully.
Sano: Ooh, that looks painful just watching. What have you done to protect yourself out there?
Kenshin:..um.tinfoil. Lots and lots of tinfoil.
Audience laughter intensifies, Juno is howling in delight.
Sano: How can you just stand by and let this happen?
Kenshin: Oro. I really don't know, but it looks like it hurts, doesn't it.
Yahiko: This is a sight too gruesome to experience over and over, Kenshin. What advice do you have for the public in this situation?
Kenshin: (sweatdrops) .. Run! Run for your lives!!
Bzzzt!
Juno: (Wipes away tears, trying to contain himself) Ha, ha. Alright, Kenshin, "sniff" what's the story?
Kenshin: (blushes)...I hope it's not what I think it is.
Juno: What?
Kenshin: All the times Miss Kaoru gets upset with me.
Kaoru, Yahiko and Sano chuckle.
Juno: Close enough! (Kenshin returns to his seat, Kaoru tries to console him) 9000 points go to Kenshin for being such a good sport.and 6700 to everyone else. Now we go on to a game called "superheroes". This is for all four of you. Starting with Kaoru. (Turns to the audience), we screw everyone up by giving them stupid superhero names, and what's a good name for Kaoru the superhero?
Various audience members: Broccoli girl! Noodle woman! Mad Busu!
Audience laughs, but Kaoru starts towards the audience with a murderous look when Kenshin stops her.
Juno: Ouch. Mad Busu... And what's the crisis for Mad Busu?
Audience member: No more beauty products.
Juno: (winces) Ooh. no more beauty products. Kaoru, I'm really sorry about this. Whenever you're ready, start the scene.
Kaoru: Hm. I wonder if I should go on that date, tonight? (Looks at an invisible mirror and makes a shattering sound. Audience laughs) Rats.. Hey, where's all my beauty cream?! Oh my god! there's no beauty products anywhere! I better use the Busu signal. (turns on a invisible signal light) I hope someone will come soon.
Sano: I got here as fast as I could- damn, are you ugly, missy.. and I've seen Picasso.
Audience laughs while Kaoru scowls.
Kaoru: (Sarcastically) It's good that you're here, Drunken Rooster Man.
Sano: (slurred) Wellrr I'll just try n' crowwwwwwwwww..but wr gonna need mor hep "hic" help. (waddles around the stage in a drunken stupor)
Yahiko comes in
Yahiko: Hey, did you notice your rooster's drunk? And who did this to you??
Audience laughs.
Sano: (slurred) Looky herre, the Three Stooges Kid!
Yahiko: (As Moe) What do you think you're doing, getting stewed? Look alive! (Gives Sano an eye poke) We got a job to do, feather duster head.
Kaoru: There are no beauty products left in the world!
Yahiko: (As Curly) No kidding? Is there a full moon out tonight? Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.
Kaoru: (Slaps Yahiko) The only moon you'll see is the one I'm gonna flip ya. Now what are we going to do about this crisis?
Yahiko: (Still Curly) Oh, wanna play hardball, eh? (Barks and snarls)
Kaoru: Okay, simmer down, bloodhound.
Kenshin's turn
Kenshin: This looks like a big mess, that it does.
Yahiko: (As Larry) Oh thank goodness; it's Mr. Uncle! There's no more beauty products left in the world.
Kenshin: (As Uncle) Aiya! What are you three doing? Help Uncle research a solution! One more thing! You need to get your rooster fixed!! ( points to Sano who is crowing like a dead trumpet)
Yahiko: (Moe) Pick out two fingers.
Kenshin: (picks two fingers and gets an eye poke) Oh, you will pay for that! (Smacks Yahiko). We must sacrifice possessed little child! I will start at once! (Leaves, dragging Yahiko by his shirt)
Sano: (still slurred)Hmmm I gotta go wake the sunnnnnnn (raises a root to go forward but drops to the floor).
Kaoru: Well that's the end of that crisis (Grabs her wooden sword). Now where's the jerk who called me Mad Busu?!?!?!!!
Yahiko and Kenshin try desperately to hold back a raging Kaoru.
Kenshin: Now, now, Miss Kaoru. It's only a show; you need to calm down, that you must.
Yahiko: Besides, you can wait 'til it's over to get him.
Sano: Nah, turn her loose, give this folks a real show.
*BZZT*
Juno: Okay, that's the last time we let the audience choose a name for Karou. 57 points to everyone, and $500 to the guy who made the suggestion..use it for your funeral. Let's go to a commercial break, stick around for more "Whose Line" when we get back.
ACT 2
Juno: Hey, welcome back to Whose Line is it Anyway? The only game show where our guests may develop bloodlust against our viewers. By the way, if you're asking about what happened earlier, it's all under control.
Kaoru: Just as long as you keep your promise, I'm happy.
Juno: No worries there. Let's move on with a game called "scenes from a hat" (produces a pointy steeple-crowned hat filled with little notes). This is for everyone. What happens is that before the show, we asked the audience to write suggestions for scenes they'd like to see acted out.
Yahiko goes with Sano while Kenshin and Kaoru pair up.
Juno: (Reaches into the hat and grabs a note) Now we'll start with ... "Things to say that would ruin a dinner party."
Yahiko and Sano start off. Yahiko acts like he's enjoying beef stew
Sano: Hey, did you know there's an epidemic of Mad Cow Disease going around?
Yahiko clutches his mouth and runs off.
Kenshin: Miss Kaoru, did you improve your garbage cooking today?
Kaoru smacks Kenshin with a wooden sword and drags Kenshin off
Kenshin: (dazed) Ororo.....
Yahiko: This eyeball stew smells really.; it's looking right at me!
Juno: "What Hajime Saitou does when no one is around".
Sano looks around for a minute and puts a finger up his nose. Audience laughs.
Yahiko: Are my eyes really that shifty, 'cause I wear contacts. Can't see without 'em.
Kaoru: (Acts like she's doing the gatotsu, but messes up and slices her hand off) Just what I needed.I lose more hands that way.
Juno: What- (stifles a laugh) "What Kenshin Himura is thinking right now".
Yahiko: Ooh, Miss Kaoru. I love you so much..
Everyone laughs while Kenshin and Kaoru blush to beet red.
Kenshin: (Turns Battousai) I just found my next target to practice Hiten Mitsurugi on. Thanks, Yahiko.
Audience groans for Yahiko.
Sano: I'm a wanderer from the Meiji era, what the hell am I doing here in 2003?
Kenshin: Hey Sano, want to see my new camera when this is over?
Juno: Hope you had a nice life, Yahiko. Speaking of which, "painful moments in slow motion."
Kaoru pulls Sano in and starts throwing darts at him. Sano exaggerates the fear and pain, of course.
Yahiko pulls in Kenshin and bashes him with a wooden sword a la Kaoru
Juno: Okay, that's enough. Let's move on to one of my favorite games, called "Hats". What happens is that these guys are going to use this hats and act out the world's worst dating service video. Whenever you're ready take it away.
Yahiko: (in knight's helmet) Care to see what's under my hood?
Laughter
Kaoru: (artist's cap) Let's paint a beautiful fresco, you and I.
Kenshin: (Grim Reaperhood, as Emperor Palpatine) ..and now young busu..you will kiss me..
Yahiko: (Laurel crown) Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend your numbers!
Laughter
Sano: (Scottish cap & accent) I'll make you a mean haggis if you'll show me Nessie.
The Audience groans.
Kenshin: (His reverse-blade sword) I'll show you some of my secrets of the Hiten Mitsurugi Style.
Audience Laughs.
Yahiko: (Napoleon's hat and hand in his kimono). Want to know why they call me "The Little Conqueror?"
Kaoru: (Executioner's mask) .Blindfold or Cigarette?
Sano: (Chef's hat and bad Cajun accent, the hat barely fits all his hair) I guar-unn-tee! You've have a finger lickin' good time with my crawdads! (The hat rips)
BZZT! *
Juno: All right 11 points go to everyone but Sano for that one.
Sano: You want a black eye, squirt?
Juno pulls out a camera and Sano shrinks back in fear
Juno: Now why did they call you Zanza, anyway?
Everyone laughs while Sano sulks.
Juno: Okay. We'll be right back and find out who the winner is. Don't go away!
Act 3:
Juno: Welcome back to "Whose Line". Tonight's winner is Kaoru Kamiya!
Kaoru waves from Juno's seat.
Juno: She gets to relax while we all do the "Irish Drinking Song." We all each sing a song, one line at a time, and Kaoru, what's an incident you don't normally sing about?
Kaoru: "I Got beaten up by the Battousai".
Kenshin blushes again. Audience Laughs and cheers.
Juno: Sounds good. The "I Got beaten up by the Battousai" irish drinking song so musicians, whenever you're ready.
The musicians begin playing
Sano: Hey kid, what happened to you?
Yahiko; I had a bad brush in earlier.
Kenshin: With who?
Yahiko: Well, let me tell you about it.
(The singing actually begins now)
Guys: Oooooooooh, ay-dee-dy-dee-dy-dee-dy-dee-dy-dee-dy-dee-dy
Yahiko: I was on the streets last night
Juno: I wasn't in a rush.
Kenshin: and then I bumped into this guy.
Sano: He turned my face into mush.
Yahiko: I tried to say "I'm sorry."
Juno: But he didn't listen.
Kenshin: He took out his nasty sword
Sano: and now my brains are missing
Guys: Oh, ay-dee-dy-dee-dy-dee-dy-dee-dy-dee-dy-dee-dy
Yahiko: I never forgot his face
Juno: His hair was red like fire
Kenshin: he also had a wicked scar
Sano: He made me the new town crier
Yahiko: alas, I couldn't fight back
Juno: He was insanely fast.
Kenshin: He smashed up half my limbs and bones
Sano ..and ..uhhhhhhh
Guys: Oh, ay-dee-dy-dee-dy-dee-dy-dee-dy-dee-dy-dee-dy
Yahiko: I never wanted to see him again
Juno: But he chased after me
Kenshin: and when he caught up to me
Sano: He shattered both of my knees
Yahiko: then I asked him what his name was
Juno: and he said Battousai
Sano: You wanna know something scary?
Kenshin: (Battousai) Yahiko's gonna die!
Guys: (Juno and Sano break down in laughter, Yahiko shuts up, leaving Kenshin to sing)
Oh, ay-dee-dy-dee-dy-dee-dy-dee-dy-dee-dy-dee-dy
Oh, ay-dee-dy-dee-dy-dee-dy-dee-dy..dee..dy..dee..dy!!!!
Juno: Poor Little Yahiko! Oh, we'll be right back with more "Whose Line". Don't go anywhere.
Yahiko: Hey! Stop it with the Little thing!
Sano: Don't look now squirt, but I think Kenshin's serious..
Yahiko: .....
Epilogue:
Juno: Well everyone, the show's over. I'd love to thank Kenshin and his friends for dropping by. And as promised, we have a special treat:
(Two stage hands bring up a board with an unfortunate viewer tied to it while Juno hands Kaoru a bunch of throwing knives)
Juno: While Kaoru practices on this victim-er, volunteer, Yahiko, you'd better start running. See you later, everybody!
Yahiko runs like crazy while a wicked battousai chases him with the reverse- blade sword, and Kaoru begins to practice throwing knives at her "target."
Sano: Glad it's not me up there.
Kaoru: That's what he gets for calling me ugly.
Jerk: Yipe! I'm sorry that I - OWWWW!!
Kaoru: (all innocent) Oh, did I hit you? I'm so sorry... not!
Yahiko: SOMEONE HELP MEEEE!!!!!!!
Kenshin: (Battousai) The more you run, the more painful your punishment shall become!!
. The End?
I had no idea what I was doing when I started, but what to you guys think? Do you like it? If so, post up suggestions for who you want on the next show and what kind of gags you'd like to see them perform! I'll check them out and go from there. Later!
I've been in a writer's block for a while, I was starting to come up with some things but the damn hacker threw all those plans into chaos. However, not everything was scrapped,
My next fanfic venture is one I've wanted to do for a while. This time, I'm having the cast of RK (I may expand into other anime and possibly games if this bears good fruit) be performers on Whose Line is it Anyway.
Just for standard formality reasons, I DO NOT own RK or Whose Line, otherwise I'd be wouldn't be writing this every 5 seconds.
I will also have some my characters host the show while I'm at it. So if you want a good laugh, take a look and see what would happen if one of the funniest shows on TV gets a visit from some of the craziest folks ever known.if you haven't already..
RK/Whose Line #1: Kenshin, Kaoru, Yahiko, Sanosuke
Host: Juno the apprentice
Juno: Good evening everyone, and welcome to "Whose Line is it Anyway?". On tonight's show.. He's Doctor Jekell & Mr. Hyde, Kenshin Himura!
Off with their heads! Kaoru Kamiya!
You can't make an omelet without breaking a few Yahiko Miyojin!
And do you feel lucky, punk? Sanouske Sagara!
Hey, I'm your host, Juno. So let's go down and have some fun! *Audience applauds*
Juno: Welcome to "Whose Line is it Anyway". The show where everything is made up, and the points don't matter. Just like lawyers to the Heartless. If you've just crawled out of a cave and started watching this show, what happens is that these four guys are gonna act out all sorts of scenes and I award them fakey points, which don't mean squat. At the end of the show we pick a winner, who gets to do something special with me. While the losers have to endure the "shoulder dodge into groin kick."
(Audience groans while Yahiko grins wickedly).
Aside from that, I'd like to thank all our guests for being here tonight. We've got a lot of show for you, so let's start with a game called "News Flash". This is for Kenshin, Sanouske, and Yahiko. What happens is that Kenshin is covering a live story on the green screen, and he has to try and figure out what's behind him with hints from Yahiko and Sano.
Kenshin: This isn't a green screen at all. It's blue, that it is.
Everyone snickers
Juno: ...Yeah. Whenever you're ready, let's start the scene.
Yahiko: ..so that bald Canadian struck it rich, huh?
Audience laughs
Sano: Yeah. Oh, we interrupt this program for a special news bulletin. We have our award winning reporter, Kenshin on the scene. How are you doing out there?
The scene depicts bits from the show in which Kenshin gets the crap beat out of him by Kaoru and co. The audience roars with laughter.
Kenshin: What?
Sano: Kenshin, what's going on out there?
Kenshin; (Looks at blue screen) I've no idea but it's madness, I can tell you that much.
Yahiko: What a nightmare! Kenshin, how did this start?
Kenshin: ..It all started with a can of itching powder (Audience laughs) then this exploded into pandemonium!
Yahiko: Ouch! Kenshin, I fear for your safety. Are sure you're okay?
Blue screen shows Kenshin get the royal crowning treatment from Kaoru when Megumi first flirts with him at the dojo. Loud laughter explodes
Kenshin: (Looks behind him).Yes. Thankfully.
Sano: Ooh, that looks painful just watching. What have you done to protect yourself out there?
Kenshin:..um.tinfoil. Lots and lots of tinfoil.
Audience laughter intensifies, Juno is howling in delight.
Sano: How can you just stand by and let this happen?
Kenshin: Oro. I really don't know, but it looks like it hurts, doesn't it.
Yahiko: This is a sight too gruesome to experience over and over, Kenshin. What advice do you have for the public in this situation?
Kenshin: (sweatdrops) .. Run! Run for your lives!!
Bzzzt!
Juno: (Wipes away tears, trying to contain himself) Ha, ha. Alright, Kenshin, "sniff" what's the story?
Kenshin: (blushes)...I hope it's not what I think it is.
Juno: What?
Kenshin: All the times Miss Kaoru gets upset with me.
Kaoru, Yahiko and Sano chuckle.
Juno: Close enough! (Kenshin returns to his seat, Kaoru tries to console him) 9000 points go to Kenshin for being such a good sport.and 6700 to everyone else. Now we go on to a game called "superheroes". This is for all four of you. Starting with Kaoru. (Turns to the audience), we screw everyone up by giving them stupid superhero names, and what's a good name for Kaoru the superhero?
Various audience members: Broccoli girl! Noodle woman! Mad Busu!
Audience laughs, but Kaoru starts towards the audience with a murderous look when Kenshin stops her.
Juno: Ouch. Mad Busu... And what's the crisis for Mad Busu?
Audience member: No more beauty products.
Juno: (winces) Ooh. no more beauty products. Kaoru, I'm really sorry about this. Whenever you're ready, start the scene.
Kaoru: Hm. I wonder if I should go on that date, tonight? (Looks at an invisible mirror and makes a shattering sound. Audience laughs) Rats.. Hey, where's all my beauty cream?! Oh my god! there's no beauty products anywhere! I better use the Busu signal. (turns on a invisible signal light) I hope someone will come soon.
Sano: I got here as fast as I could- damn, are you ugly, missy.. and I've seen Picasso.
Audience laughs while Kaoru scowls.
Kaoru: (Sarcastically) It's good that you're here, Drunken Rooster Man.
Sano: (slurred) Wellrr I'll just try n' crowwwwwwwwww..but wr gonna need mor hep "hic" help. (waddles around the stage in a drunken stupor)
Yahiko comes in
Yahiko: Hey, did you notice your rooster's drunk? And who did this to you??
Audience laughs.
Sano: (slurred) Looky herre, the Three Stooges Kid!
Yahiko: (As Moe) What do you think you're doing, getting stewed? Look alive! (Gives Sano an eye poke) We got a job to do, feather duster head.
Kaoru: There are no beauty products left in the world!
Yahiko: (As Curly) No kidding? Is there a full moon out tonight? Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.
Kaoru: (Slaps Yahiko) The only moon you'll see is the one I'm gonna flip ya. Now what are we going to do about this crisis?
Yahiko: (Still Curly) Oh, wanna play hardball, eh? (Barks and snarls)
Kaoru: Okay, simmer down, bloodhound.
Kenshin's turn
Kenshin: This looks like a big mess, that it does.
Yahiko: (As Larry) Oh thank goodness; it's Mr. Uncle! There's no more beauty products left in the world.
Kenshin: (As Uncle) Aiya! What are you three doing? Help Uncle research a solution! One more thing! You need to get your rooster fixed!! ( points to Sano who is crowing like a dead trumpet)
Yahiko: (Moe) Pick out two fingers.
Kenshin: (picks two fingers and gets an eye poke) Oh, you will pay for that! (Smacks Yahiko). We must sacrifice possessed little child! I will start at once! (Leaves, dragging Yahiko by his shirt)
Sano: (still slurred)Hmmm I gotta go wake the sunnnnnnn (raises a root to go forward but drops to the floor).
Kaoru: Well that's the end of that crisis (Grabs her wooden sword). Now where's the jerk who called me Mad Busu?!?!?!!!
Yahiko and Kenshin try desperately to hold back a raging Kaoru.
Kenshin: Now, now, Miss Kaoru. It's only a show; you need to calm down, that you must.
Yahiko: Besides, you can wait 'til it's over to get him.
Sano: Nah, turn her loose, give this folks a real show.
*BZZT*
Juno: Okay, that's the last time we let the audience choose a name for Karou. 57 points to everyone, and $500 to the guy who made the suggestion..use it for your funeral. Let's go to a commercial break, stick around for more "Whose Line" when we get back.
ACT 2
Juno: Hey, welcome back to Whose Line is it Anyway? The only game show where our guests may develop bloodlust against our viewers. By the way, if you're asking about what happened earlier, it's all under control.
Kaoru: Just as long as you keep your promise, I'm happy.
Juno: No worries there. Let's move on with a game called "scenes from a hat" (produces a pointy steeple-crowned hat filled with little notes). This is for everyone. What happens is that before the show, we asked the audience to write suggestions for scenes they'd like to see acted out.
Yahiko goes with Sano while Kenshin and Kaoru pair up.
Juno: (Reaches into the hat and grabs a note) Now we'll start with ... "Things to say that would ruin a dinner party."
Yahiko and Sano start off. Yahiko acts like he's enjoying beef stew
Sano: Hey, did you know there's an epidemic of Mad Cow Disease going around?
Yahiko clutches his mouth and runs off.
Kenshin: Miss Kaoru, did you improve your garbage cooking today?
Kaoru smacks Kenshin with a wooden sword and drags Kenshin off
Kenshin: (dazed) Ororo.....
Yahiko: This eyeball stew smells really.; it's looking right at me!
Juno: "What Hajime Saitou does when no one is around".
Sano looks around for a minute and puts a finger up his nose. Audience laughs.
Yahiko: Are my eyes really that shifty, 'cause I wear contacts. Can't see without 'em.
Kaoru: (Acts like she's doing the gatotsu, but messes up and slices her hand off) Just what I needed.I lose more hands that way.
Juno: What- (stifles a laugh) "What Kenshin Himura is thinking right now".
Yahiko: Ooh, Miss Kaoru. I love you so much..
Everyone laughs while Kenshin and Kaoru blush to beet red.
Kenshin: (Turns Battousai) I just found my next target to practice Hiten Mitsurugi on. Thanks, Yahiko.
Audience groans for Yahiko.
Sano: I'm a wanderer from the Meiji era, what the hell am I doing here in 2003?
Kenshin: Hey Sano, want to see my new camera when this is over?
Juno: Hope you had a nice life, Yahiko. Speaking of which, "painful moments in slow motion."
Kaoru pulls Sano in and starts throwing darts at him. Sano exaggerates the fear and pain, of course.
Yahiko pulls in Kenshin and bashes him with a wooden sword a la Kaoru
Juno: Okay, that's enough. Let's move on to one of my favorite games, called "Hats". What happens is that these guys are going to use this hats and act out the world's worst dating service video. Whenever you're ready take it away.
Yahiko: (in knight's helmet) Care to see what's under my hood?
Laughter
Kaoru: (artist's cap) Let's paint a beautiful fresco, you and I.
Kenshin: (Grim Reaperhood, as Emperor Palpatine) ..and now young busu..you will kiss me..
Yahiko: (Laurel crown) Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend your numbers!
Laughter
Sano: (Scottish cap & accent) I'll make you a mean haggis if you'll show me Nessie.
The Audience groans.
Kenshin: (His reverse-blade sword) I'll show you some of my secrets of the Hiten Mitsurugi Style.
Audience Laughs.
Yahiko: (Napoleon's hat and hand in his kimono). Want to know why they call me "The Little Conqueror?"
Kaoru: (Executioner's mask) .Blindfold or Cigarette?
Sano: (Chef's hat and bad Cajun accent, the hat barely fits all his hair) I guar-unn-tee! You've have a finger lickin' good time with my crawdads! (The hat rips)
BZZT! *
Juno: All right 11 points go to everyone but Sano for that one.
Sano: You want a black eye, squirt?
Juno pulls out a camera and Sano shrinks back in fear
Juno: Now why did they call you Zanza, anyway?
Everyone laughs while Sano sulks.
Juno: Okay. We'll be right back and find out who the winner is. Don't go away!
Act 3:
Juno: Welcome back to "Whose Line". Tonight's winner is Kaoru Kamiya!
Kaoru waves from Juno's seat.
Juno: She gets to relax while we all do the "Irish Drinking Song." We all each sing a song, one line at a time, and Kaoru, what's an incident you don't normally sing about?
Kaoru: "I Got beaten up by the Battousai".
Kenshin blushes again. Audience Laughs and cheers.
Juno: Sounds good. The "I Got beaten up by the Battousai" irish drinking song so musicians, whenever you're ready.
The musicians begin playing
Sano: Hey kid, what happened to you?
Yahiko; I had a bad brush in earlier.
Kenshin: With who?
Yahiko: Well, let me tell you about it.
(The singing actually begins now)
Guys: Oooooooooh, ay-dee-dy-dee-dy-dee-dy-dee-dy-dee-dy-dee-dy
Yahiko: I was on the streets last night
Juno: I wasn't in a rush.
Kenshin: and then I bumped into this guy.
Sano: He turned my face into mush.
Yahiko: I tried to say "I'm sorry."
Juno: But he didn't listen.
Kenshin: He took out his nasty sword
Sano: and now my brains are missing
Guys: Oh, ay-dee-dy-dee-dy-dee-dy-dee-dy-dee-dy-dee-dy
Yahiko: I never forgot his face
Juno: His hair was red like fire
Kenshin: he also had a wicked scar
Sano: He made me the new town crier
Yahiko: alas, I couldn't fight back
Juno: He was insanely fast.
Kenshin: He smashed up half my limbs and bones
Sano ..and ..uhhhhhhh
Guys: Oh, ay-dee-dy-dee-dy-dee-dy-dee-dy-dee-dy-dee-dy
Yahiko: I never wanted to see him again
Juno: But he chased after me
Kenshin: and when he caught up to me
Sano: He shattered both of my knees
Yahiko: then I asked him what his name was
Juno: and he said Battousai
Sano: You wanna know something scary?
Kenshin: (Battousai) Yahiko's gonna die!
Guys: (Juno and Sano break down in laughter, Yahiko shuts up, leaving Kenshin to sing)
Oh, ay-dee-dy-dee-dy-dee-dy-dee-dy-dee-dy-dee-dy
Oh, ay-dee-dy-dee-dy-dee-dy-dee-dy..dee..dy..dee..dy!!!!
Juno: Poor Little Yahiko! Oh, we'll be right back with more "Whose Line". Don't go anywhere.
Yahiko: Hey! Stop it with the Little thing!
Sano: Don't look now squirt, but I think Kenshin's serious..
Yahiko: .....
Epilogue:
Juno: Well everyone, the show's over. I'd love to thank Kenshin and his friends for dropping by. And as promised, we have a special treat:
(Two stage hands bring up a board with an unfortunate viewer tied to it while Juno hands Kaoru a bunch of throwing knives)
Juno: While Kaoru practices on this victim-er, volunteer, Yahiko, you'd better start running. See you later, everybody!
Yahiko runs like crazy while a wicked battousai chases him with the reverse- blade sword, and Kaoru begins to practice throwing knives at her "target."
Sano: Glad it's not me up there.
Kaoru: That's what he gets for calling me ugly.
Jerk: Yipe! I'm sorry that I - OWWWW!!
Kaoru: (all innocent) Oh, did I hit you? I'm so sorry... not!
Yahiko: SOMEONE HELP MEEEE!!!!!!!
Kenshin: (Battousai) The more you run, the more painful your punishment shall become!!
. The End?
I had no idea what I was doing when I started, but what to you guys think? Do you like it? If so, post up suggestions for who you want on the next show and what kind of gags you'd like to see them perform! I'll check them out and go from there. Later!