Hey everyone!

Thanks so much for reviewing me! Shoutouts to the following peeps:

Evil-Bunny-Leader: Thanks so much! You know, I wasn't too sure if people would like it, but you totally proved me wrong.

EE's Skysong: Insanity is liberating, isn't it? And thanks for the ideas for Le Cahier.

Ishandahalf: I know, isn't she lucky? The only thing better is waking up next to Remy. winks And are you psychic? Because if you are maybe you can see what's coming next…

Stalker Gal: Thanks, I will.

Heartsyhawk: Honestly, well, I went off on a tangent. And do you honestly think I'll tell you if he's dying?

Pyro Lady: Hey, you're English is pretty good. I know Americans whose families were born and raised here for generations and they still can't get the hang of it.

Moonlight152: Thanks I will.

It took Wanda a while to rise from the kitchen table. She was still stunned by the news. Pietro, a father? Herself, an aunt? Samantha, a mother? Well, after careful consideration, she could see it. Samantha did work at a daycare center. Wanda could totally picture her as a mother, but not the soccer mom type. She'd be the one who took her child school shopping at Hot Topic, encouraging her to listen to Goth music, and giving her patchouli oil in her Christmas stockings.

But then again, being a mother did change things. It was possible, considering that the poor kid's father was Pietro, that it could be a preppy. Wanda gagged. Imagine poor Samantha taking that child shopping at Abercrombie, Limited Too, and Old Navy. Either way, it was pretty much guaranteed that the child was going to be dysfunctional.

I need a cigarette, she thought to herself. Wait a minute, I quit. So what the hell am I going to do to calm my nerves??

Almost on cue, the phone rang. Wanda knew who it was without even looking at the caller I.D.

"Hey Rogue."

"Hi Wanda. How did yah know that it was meh?"

"Lucky guess."

"Do you want to go out with meh?"

"Honey, as much as I love you, you are married and pregnant. And so not my type."

"Wanda, Ah love you too. In fact, you are the sexiest person alive."

Wanda smiled. "Let me guess, Remy is there."

"Yes, of course Ah'll come over and fuck your brains off."

Wanda heard a distinctly Cajun voice in the background. "Bu' chere, Remy t'ought dat y' loved him. Why y' be cheating on him?"

"Cause, sex with a woman is so much more interesting."

Wanda laughed. She could almost see the look of horror on Remy's face. "Chere, y' cheating on Remy avec une fille? Pourquoi?"

"Cause it's funny to see your face when Ah tell yah that. And it's only Wanda."

"Oh, d'accord."

"So Wanda, do yah wanna come baby shopping with meh?"

"Sure. I'll be over in a few. I need to talk to you anyway."

"Ooh, Ah smell gossip."

"Not gossip, a fucking scandal. Talk to you later."

"Bye."

Wanda hung up and went up to her room and got her keys. As she headed downstairs to leave, she saw Pietro leave the bathroom. She sighed as she realized that soon, too soon, he'd come to know what she already knew. And honestly she had no idea how he'd react. He'd changed so much lately, or at least according to everyone who knew him. Who knew what the future would bring?

She went to her car and started the engine. As she peeled out of the driveway, she reflected upon how her life would soon be changing. There would be a baby in the house. She'd be an aunt. And, horror of horrors, she'd be a sister in law. Needing some mood music, she popped in her favorite c.d., the Punisher soundtrack and skipped ahead to song 15, 'Born to Violence'. It was great destressing music and it cleared her head.

In no time at all she was at the Institute, and witnessing something extremely hilarious. Remy was hiding in a tree for some reason, and Logan had his claws out ripping apart the poor tree. Even funnier was the fact that he had pink hair. In fact, Logan with pink hair was almost as amusing as John in fuzzy pink bunny slippers. She parked her car and went to go see what all of the commotion was about.

"Logan James Howlett, you let mah husband out of that tree right now!" Rogue screamed at him. "And Remy Etienne LeBeau, how dare yah put pink hair dye in Logan's shampoo? That just ain't right!"

"Get your ass down here bub so I can make you into my favorite meal: Swiss cheese, Cajun style." Logan snarled and once more began viciously attacking the tree.

"Hey Rogue."

"Hi Wanda. The men are being pig headed idiots." Rogue smiled, then whispered into Wanda's ear. "Play along with meh!"

She shouted "Oh yes Wanda! Oh yes!" Rogue then proceeded to wrap her arms lovingly around the other girls neck. "Of course Ah'll run off t' Vegas with yah and marry yah! Ah love yah!"

Wanda tried to suppress a giggle, but she wrapped her arms around Rogue's waist and looked lovingly into her eyes. "Oh baby! What would I do without you?"

Then the strangest thing happened. They pulled a Madonna/Britney. [For all of you who don't know, it was at that awards show where Madonna kissed Britney Spears.] Both Remy and Logan stared at the two girls.

"Chere…" Remy screamed and fell out of the tree. "Merde! Pourquoi elle?"

Logan's eyes kept jumping from Rogue to Wanda back to Rogue, and he seemed terribly confused. "Stripes? When did you turn gay?"

Rogue winked at Wanda and they untangled themselves. Rogue then grabbed Wanda's hand and whispered almost inaudibly "Now for la piece de resistance."

"Come on Wanda. We need to go baby shopping or this poor little thing will be born and have nothing to cover its bare backside."

The two walked away to Wanda's car, and they could hear the sounds of Logan snarling and running after Remy, who was still trying to figure out how any woman could leave him for another woman.

Once they were in the car, they both started laughing uncontrollably.

"So, Rogue, are you just going to leave them like that?"

"They'll be fine. Remy knows that Ah only love him."

"So where did you want to go?"

"The mall of course. Ah need to get baby stuff, and a lot of it. Ah've got a list that Ah got off of the internet, some parentin' website."

"Can I see it? I might have future use of it."

Rogue gasped. "Yah're pregnant?"

"No, Pietro's fiancée Samantha is." She started the car and tore out of the driveway while Rogue gasped her chest, trying desperately not to laugh.

"Yah've got to be kiddin' meh. Pietro's engaged? And she's pregnant? How much dope did yah smoke to come up with that one?"

"I stopped smoking, remember? And I wish I was kidding but I'm not."

If Rogue had been standing, she would have fallen to the ground.

Meanwhile, John was combing Bayville for possible jobs. Every place that he had been to so far had rejected him. Was it so obvious that he was a mutant? Or was it that they didn't like his obsession with the lovely fire? He didn't know.

Once again, John passed a shady building that had a help wanted ad up. How many times he had passed it, he didn't know. What the hell, it did need help. He pulled his car into the parking lot and walked into the building.

What he saw there boggled his eyes. Inside looked expensive, very expensive. There were comfortable chairs surrounding circular tables, and a bar the length of the room encompassed one wall. There was a stage at the very end of the room. It looked like, for all intents and purposes, a high class strip club.

Sensing his mistake immediately, he turned around to leave when he saw the sexiest woman he had ever seen. [Other than Wanda in her undies, of course.] She was staring at him appraisingly, and in a way that he had stared at many a female. It unnerved him, and he moved to leave again when she blocked his exit.

"You're hired." She said in a low, rich, utterly captivating voice. She moved into the light and John got a full view of her.

She screamed "SEX" from every cell in her body. Even when she was only wearing a white tank top and low slung blue jeans with flip flops did she scream it. Her short crimson hair was spiked, and her ears were adorned with various silver hoops in different sizes.

"The name's Howlett. Ashley Howlett. You may call me Asher. Your name is?" She prodded his arm and he came out of the stupor her very presence put him into.

"Erm, moy name's St. John Allerdyce. And Oy was just looking for a job."

"Well, you've got one. Do you want it?"

"Erm, what exactly do you do here?"

"We are a club for women. Specifically we are called Z. We are tasteful. You will never be required to completely strip naked. We pay well, with a full benefits package. And you only have to work four nights a week. How does that sound?"

"Well, Oy don't rightly know. A strip club? Me? Oy'm not the kind of guy that you'd expect to find working at these kind of places…"

Asher smiled. "Oh, don't be nervous. I know that I kind of came on strong but we're desperate. How about this. Work just one night for us, tonight, just to try it out. I'll pay you $1000 for it. And if you like, well, you can continue to work for us. If you don't, well, we forget about you and you forget about us. What do you say?"

"Will you seriously pay me $1000 to work one night?"

"Yep. So will you do it?"

"Oy suppose so…"

That's the end of chapter three. Hope you like it! And to my sister: Do you recognize the new OC?

The rest of my readers: Did you pick up on my plot twists???

Thanks for reading1

ETA