Disclaimer: You know the drill by now, anyone you may have heard of don't belong to me, I don't own "Whose Line is it anyway? Ruroni Kenshin or its characters, or whomever my other guests are (living, mechanical, etc.)that appears. I believe this fic already has a PG rating. There's a bit of crude language in this chapter.
Ravenf6's RK Whose Line is it, Anyway? Fic #6:
Kenshin, Kaoru, Zero, and X
Prologue:
Back in the office.
Ravenf6: (reading a letter) Oh no...
Juno: (enters the office) Is something wrong?
Ravenf6: It's just as you predicted, Juno. Someone IS plotting revenge against me.
Juno: Do you know who it is?
Ravenf6: No, he just left this letter:
"Dear Ravenf6,
I will have swift, brutal revenge upon you.
-Mystery guy in wheelchair"
Juno: What will you do?
Ravenf6: .... I'm leaving the reins of this fic in your hands for the time being (starts to leave).
Juno: Where are you going?
Ravenf6: To see if there's something I can do about this problem. (Leaves)
Juno: ... Oh dear, I hope this has nothing to do with my vision in the last chapter. (Sits down and starts making phone calls)
Soon after, Juno starts fidgeting while Scythe starts pacing around the room
Juno: I hope this doesn't take too long...
Scythe: The audience is starting to get ugly out there.
The door opens up and an all-too-familiar couple enters.
Kenshin: Well, it seems that things have changed, that they have.
Juno: Hello, Kenshin and Kaoru, I'm so glad you two could come on such short notice.
Kaoru: Where's ravenf6? We were supposed to meet with him.
Scythe: The author's out on business so we're running the boat for a while.
Kenshin: Oro...
Scythe: Kenshin, this is no time to be "oroing", we've got an audience thirsty for blood tonight!
Kaoru: So what's the hold up?
Juno: Our other two guests haven't shown up- (Just then, two blurs, one red and yellow, the other blue touch down) ... yet.
Everyone sweat drops
X: ... Um, were we interrupting something?
Juno: ... n, no, I don't think so. Everyone, these are Zero, and Megaman X of the maverick hunters.
Kenshin: (sweat drops) Oh my, how does Mr. Raven find all these strange people? These two look as though demons from a battlefield!
Kaoru: (pounds Kenshin on the back of the head) Kenshin, you're embarrassing us! (Cheerful) Hello!
Scythe: What kept you guys so long?
Zero: Dr. Cain had too much caffeine; it's hard to corral someone when they're hyper.
X: It's better than another maverick rebellion, though.
Juno: In any case, I think we should get started before the audience tears us limb from limb.
Scythe: One question: Who's hosting?
Juno: You.
Scythe: (sweat drops) Uh, I'd rather be peeling onions than face that mob.
Juno: You should know I could smite you as easily as Sano was last chapter.
Kenshin: So that's why Sano smelt he was burning all this time!
Kaoru: I thought he hadn't had a bath in a week.
Juno: So what do you say, Scythe?
Scythe: ...All right, I'll do it.
Act 1:
Scythe: Good evening, and welcome to "Whose Line is it, Anyway?" On tonight's show...
Do you have a permit for that sword? Kenshin Himura! (Kenshin drinks some water)
It's against the law to have a temper like Kaoru Kamiya! (Kaoru frowns at said comment)
How long have you had that gun on your arm? Megaman X! (X shrugs at the camera) and...
He pleads insanity: Zero! (Zero acts like he's asleep)
And I'm your host, Scythe Mana. Let's go have some fun before I'm torn to shreds!
Scythe hurries down to the desk before anyone in the audience could grab him.
Scythe: Whew! Welcome to Whose Line is it, Anyway?" The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right, the points are just like diplomacy lessons to Genghis Khan. (Everyone laughs) Sorry we took so long folks, but something came up and the author's away on business. Let's get started with a game called "Number of Words." This is for everyone. (The chosen ones come down on stage) What happens is that everyone's going to act out a scene, but each person, (eyes X and Zero) AND reploid, can only speak in a certain number of words. Kenshin, you're allowed to use four words, Kaoru, you're allowed to use 2 words, X, you can use 3 words, and Zero; you get to use 5 words. (Reads a card) And the scene you're going to act out is... "Kenshin is Sherlock Holmes who is trying to stop Professor Moriarty, played by Zero from carrying out his latest diabolical scheme. Kaoru is going to be the intended victim while X,-
X: -Don't tell me: I'm Dr. Watson.
Scythe: How did you know?
X: Nothing, really.
Scythe: Did you also know that hell hath no fury like the wrath of a fanfic writer?
Audience laughs while X sweat drops
Scythe: Now let's take it away...
Zero enters with his back turned to the audience.
Zero: Soon, England will be mine!
Kenshin enters
Kenshin: (points finger at Zero) Not so fast, Moriarty!
Zero: (turns around) Holmes! You are too late!
Kenshin: I think not, buster.
Zero: I'll kill you like ...fish! (Audience laughs)
Kenshin: (sweat drops) You must be joking.
Kaoru walks in
Kaoru: Oh no!
Zero: I have you now, Elizabeth! (Grabs Kaoru and acts like he's holding a pistol to her head.
Kaoru: Sherlock, help!
Kenshin: (angry) Let her go, fiend!
Zero: Why don't you make me?
X: (walks in looking very uncomfortable) Where's the bathroom!? (Audience laughs)
Kenshin: Watson! Where were you?
X: ... At the bar.
Kenshin: You drank again, yes?
X: (nods head) I need go!
Kaoru: Go left! (Audience laughs)
Zero: Doesn't anyone care about her?
Kenshin: Why make her shield? (Audience laughs)
Zero: ... I get lonely at night. (Audience cheers)
X: Directions don't help...
Kenshin: Go around the corner.
Zero: Where did you find him?
Kenshin: I found him just.. (Smacks Zero with the sakabato, Kaoru runs away)
Zero: Ouch! Curse you, stupid detective! (Takes out his Z-saber)
Kaoru: (hides behind Kenshin) Be careful!
Kenshin: When use sword, Moriarty?
Zero:... I get bored very easily.
X: ... I gotta go!
Kenshin and Zero act like they're fighting. Eventually, Kenshin gets in a good slice in.
Zero: Agh! (Clutches his side) I'll get you, Holmes!
Kenshin: You and what army?
Zero: I'll... find something eventually, twit.
Kaoru: (Hugs Kenshin) My hero!
Kenshin: (blushes and smiles) I like this game. (hugs Kaoru)
Audience: Awwwwwww...
Scythe hits the buzzer and everyone goes to their seats
Scythe: If I had a buzzer for every time I had to go. A thousand points to everyone for such a crazy game. You okay, X?
X: It was hard to do something like that.
Scythe: I'll bet.
Kenshin: That was fun.
Kaoru: I liked it.
Scythe: Okay, 300 more points to Kenshin and Kaoru for creating the first fluffy moment here on the show.
Audience applauds.
Scythe: Let's keep the game going with a game called "Whose Line." This one is for our two resident swordsmen, Kenshin and Zero. You two need to come here and pick up something.
The two approach the desk, where Scythe hands both of them two folded pieces of paper.
Zero: What are these?
Kenshin: I have a feeling we're going to find out, and it's get going to get ugly.
Scythe: How right you are. You two guys are going to act out a scene and you are going to insert this sentences that were written by the audience.
Kenshin: (sweat drops) Oro...
Scythe: Hey Kenshin, easy on the "oro"s there. (Audience laughs)
Scythe: And the scene you two are going to act out is... (Picks up a card and reads) "Robin Hood passes through Sherwood Forest when he's stopped at a bridge by Little John".
Kenshin: (whistling)
Zero: Hey, shorty.
Kenshin: Hmm?
Zero: I was at this bridge first; get your little hide back so I can cross.
Kenshin: Now, let's not be hasty. I was at this bridge first, that I was. Why don't you back up so I can cross?
Zero: Oh, a stuffy pansy, eh?
Kenshin: Come again?
Zero: We've got a saying about creampuffs like you: (takes out a note and reads) "Why are you carrying a fat walrus on your back?" (Audience laughs)
Kenshin: (sweat drops) I'm in the blubber business.
Zero: Isn't that a little on the disgusting side?
Kenshin: And what of you? Do you rent out that thing growing out the back of your head as a push broom? (Points to Zero's gigantic ponytail)
Everyone in the audience roars into laughter, Scythe falls out the chair pounding his fist on the floor. Zero's face turns as red as his armor as he hides his enormous ponytail behind his back.... Only to hear more laughter coming from Kaoru and X.
X: Ha ha ha-I'm sorry, but- ha ha- "push broom"!!! (Laughs like a hyena)
Zero: (veins start twitching on his face) You... me.... After the show.
Kenshin: (turns Battousai) Don't even think you'll win just 'cause you're from a futuristic time.
Audience: Ooh.......
Kaoru: Must we always have a chapter ending up in a brutal, white-knuckle fight to the finish? We've had two in this fic already!
Scythe: Something tells me Juno saw this coming but never bothered to mention it.
X: I never thought writing fan fiction could be so entertaining... maybe I should consider writing some.
Audience members scream in dread horror.
X: What? I've got lots of stories to tell.
Zero: (To X) The last time I read one of your stories, I was so disgusted I accidentally threw up on Alia!
Audience groans in disgust.
Scythe: Heaven forbid when that day comes-
Zero: -And then my feet went completely numb!
Scythe: (sweat drops) Uh, Zero...-
Zero: -Then I got a sudden hangover!
Scythe: Zero, can we PLEASE get back to the matter at hand?
Zero: "Ahem". That is none of your business!
Kenshin: Actually, it is. I've got something to say to you, and you better listen well: (opens up a note) "It's time for your sponge bath."
Audience laughs
Zero: (sweat drops)
Kenshin: You are so wrong about this, it's actually made you dirty!
Audience laughs harder.
Zero: Hey, aren't you Robin Hood?
Kenshin: What if I was?
Zero: The Sheriff's been looking for you.
Kenshin: Is he still upset because I accidentally killed his kinsman?
Zero: When I asked him what was your crime, he told me this: (opens up a second note) "Did you see anyone worth peeping at around here?" (Audience laughs)
Kenshin: ????? Why did he tell you this?
Zero: I guess that rumor about Lady Godiva riding through town isn't a rumor anymore. (More laughter)
Kenshin: I guess not then. Well, it's been fun, but I must go-
Zero: -I don't think so. This here's a toll bridge so you're gonna have to pay up.
Kenshin: Are you daft, man?! I only steal from the rich to give to the poor!
Zero: That's your problem. 'Course, there is one other way.
Kenshin: and that is...
Zero: If you can give sufficient insult, I might be willin' to let you cross.
Kenshin: You mean fighting you with quarterstaves?
Zero: No. We fight with insults: You're so small that when Santa Claus goes on his rounds, he mistakes you for an ice sculpture! (Audience laughs)
Kenshin: (annoyed) Oh, you've gone and done it now.
Zero: What are you gonna do about that, ruroni boy?
Kenshin: I was saving this for the Sheriff, but I've got an insult so hideous, so foul, that even kings cringe like babies after hearing it.
Zero: What is it?
Kenshin: (takes out his second note) "Your girlfriend is so ugly, Medusa looked at her and turned to stone!" (Audience laughs)
BZZZT!
Scythe: You know something guys, that card was 100% unexpected.
Zero: You can say that again. Iris has been dead for years.
Scythe: Yeah. She told me to give you this message: (opens up a note and looks towards Kenshin) "You're uglier than him."
Audience laughs.
Zero: I don't see what's so funny: he's got a scar and a bad haircut. (Gestures to Kenshin)
Kenshin: But that card said you're uglier than me, that it did.
Kaoru: That is pretty funny, I mean who else on this stage has a hairdo with a mind of its own?
X: (snickers) Hey Zero, Marge Simpson called: She wants her highlights back!
Audience roars with laughter.
Scythe: (laughs) Hmm... just for putting up with the hair jokes, 7000 points to Zero, plus a 500 zenny increase to his salary.
Zero: Sweet.
Scythe: (holds up an evil CD) Unless you want the Sigma virus invading your computers, stick around for more "Whose Line is it, Anyway?" Don't go anywhere!
Act 2
Audience applauds.
Scythe: Welcome back to "Whose Line is it Anyway?" The game show where idle threats abound. And since so many people have decided to stick around... (Breaks the CD in two) no more Sigma virus.
Audience applauds.
Scythe: So if there was anyone who took that threat seriously, it's all a gag. Take a good joke now and again, laugh a little: it's what we're here for!
Off the side, a nameless lawyer gives Scythe the thumbs-up and leaves.
Zero: Now where did that lawyer come from?
X: Who knows?
Scythe: For sake of saving our own keisters, let's keep the show going with a game called. "Song styles." And this one is for.... (Scans the crew, each of them looking worried) Kaoru and X.
Kaoru: (sweat drops) Um, I'm not too good at singing.
X: Come on, raccoon lady, how bad can it-
X gets cut off as Kaoru pounds him with her bokuto.
Kaoru: (angry) Don't get me started!
X: Oww, (rubs his sore head) we can use someone like you at the Maverick Hunters. (Thinks to himself) Ouch! Even with this helmet on it hurts!
Audience laughs.
Scythe: If that happened, Sigma would be reduced to a craven coward. Tonight, we have a guest tonight by special request. He's so cowardly, he makes chickens look like lions, please welcome to the show, all the way from the deranged kingdom of Udrogoth, Mr. Coward himself, Dave the Barbarian, ladies and gentlemen!
Dave comes out on stage as the audience applauds; he goes over to the stage and waves at the people.
Scythe: Welcome to the show, Dave.
Dave: Thank you very much; I heard this show was really funny. I remember someone being on the show two chapters ago, but I can never remember who it was.
Scythe: I remember that just a fellow by the name of (in a dramatic voice) THE DARK LORD CHUCKLES THE SILLY PIGGY!! (Thunder bolts flash on stage)
Dave: (looking scared) Bejabbers!!
Scythe: Don't worry about it he's not here. Now Dave, you do like to perform, don't you?
Dave: Yep. Too bad I couldn't finish my musical.
Scythe: Well, tonight's going to be different: for this game, which is called "Song Styles," Kaoru and X are going to sing a song about you.
Dave: Yay! (sits on a stool set on the stage)
Scythe: and the style I want you two to sing in the style of...(thinks for a bit) a ...um... an African folk song!
Zero: Glad it's not me up there! (Audience laughs)
Kaoru: (to audience) I'd never thought I'd be singing again.
(Audience laughs)
X: It's better than Kenshin's, anyway.
(Audience laughs, Scythe begins to crack up at the desk, but Kenshin's eyes start turning red)
Dave: (looks at Kenshin nervously) Is that guy going to hurt me?
X: If he wanted to...
Scythe: Yeah. And ah, heck: let's make it a full-blown African folk song: While Kaoru sings, she's going to get some help from..-
Zero: (aghast) NOOO!!!!!
Scythe: Everyone else! (Audience cheers) That's right, the guys will be the back up dancers so let's hear the African folk song about Dave...
African music riff starts playing; the X, Kenshin, and Zero unwillingly start to dance.
Kaoru: (sings in phony Swahili) Dave...
X, Kenshin, and Zero: (ditto) Dave...
Kaoru: Let me tell you people, I'm gonna start a rave:
We're going to sing a song about a crazy fellow named Dave.
His name is Dave...
The guys: Dave...
Kaoru: Dave is a barbarian, he brightens up my day.
Whenever there is danger, his first thought is to run away.
Udrogoth's his homeland, a place that's really sickly.
He always got his hands full with manic Chuckles the silly piggy
(Speaks bad Swahili).. Dave!
The guys babble their next verse
Kaoru: His uncle is a wizard, whose magic works real funky,
His sisters are a princess and a thing that screams (as Fang) "I'M NOT A MONKEY!!!" (Audience laughs)
Dave loves to sew and knit, his life is really zany.
I wish that you could finish up your musical, "Oh, Pastry!"
His name is Dave...
The guys: Dave...
Kaoru: Da-a-a-ave...
Guys: Da-a-a-ve...
Kaoru: Let me tell you Dave, I know this is a kick-in-the-pants,
But what the heck were you thinking when you made everyone shave their cats?
(Audience laughs)
Everyone on stage dances to the best (or worst) of their abilities for a bit.
Kaoru: Dave, you are a madman, your courage is a flaggin',
His tiny pet is a miniature lightning-breathing dragon.
(Points to the ceiling) What is that Dave?
Dave: (looks up) a monster...
Kaoru: Folks you ought to listen, if monsters come like fleas,
The best way to run away is keep up both of your knees!
Come on, Dave; show these folks how it's done!
Dave gets off his stool, screams, and then leaves the stage at lightning-speed. Kaoru does the same thing. The music stops and the audience applaud.
Scythe: Wow! How can anyone run so fast?
Dave: It's a gift.
Kaoru: I'll say. Now I can catch Sano if he decides to skip out on his chores.
Audience laughs
Scythe: I'll bet. Let's hear it for Dave the Barbarian, ladies and gentlemen!
Audience applauds as Dave leaves
Scythe: In the interest of keeping the show going, let's do a game called "multiple personalities." This one is for Kenshin, X, and Zero.
All three guys come down to center stage.
Scythe: What happens is that these three will act out a scene using three kinds of props (reaches behinds his desk and takes out a sack).
X takes out a fake skull, Kenshin gets a machete, and Zero is stuck with a broom.
Kenshin: (looks at machete) I'm beginning to worry about this show, that I am.
Scythe: You might. Because the scene is (reads a card) "Professor Van Helsing and John Morris are sneaking into to Dracula's castle, intent on killing the vampire." Whoever's holding the skull is, (looks at card) Oh my god: Inspector Zanigata from "Lupin the 3rd"... (Audience laughs while X sweat drops). Whoever has the broom is Courage the cowardly dog.. (Audience laughs) and whoever has the machete... (Looks at card) is the Scotsman from "Samurai Jack".
Kenshin: (sweat drops and shakes his head) ... I had a feeling this was going to be type-casted.
Scythe: I'm sorry, but I'm not doing the writing for this show. Just do the best you can...
(Audience laughs)
X stands on from side of the room arm's crossed like he's sleeping standing up. Zero and Kenshin come in from the other side.
Zero: (Courage, looking extremely nervous) s-so, why are we here again in this creepy old castle?
Kenshin: (Scotsman) Do I have ta tell ye agin, laddie?? We're here to slay the vampire that's been terroizin' the town!
(Audience laughs and applauds)
Zero: (Courage) Could you please not scare me like that? It's very unnerving.
Kenshin: (Scotsman) ... I'll try to be calm about this. He did bite your bonny lass of a daughter, after all.
Zero: (Courage) Look! Over there! (Points broom towards X).
Kenshin: (Scotsman) Aye. That's one o' the ugliest things ya ever clapped eyes on! Let's do it a favor an' kill it quick. (Audience laughs)
Zero: (Courage) Why did he have to get a glass coffin (shivers) Let's get this over with... (Pretends to slide the coffin open with the broom)
X's eyes flash open
X: (Zanigata) Lupin, you bastard! How dare you disturb my rest? (Holds out the skull menacingly). I'm taking you in for defiling my castle like this! ... Wait a minute, you're not Lupin.
Zero (Courage) A-A-A-A-H-H-H-H-H-H!!!! It's alive! (Holds the broom defensively)
Kenshin: (Scotsman) Get ready, laddie: It's time ta do some slayin'!! (Poises to strike)
Audience applauds
X: (Zanigata) Two against one?? Crap! Crap! Crap! This isn't fair at all!
(Audience laughs)
Kenshin: (Scotsman) Learn to like it, you undead scum!!
X hands the skull to Zero and takes the broom
X: (Courage) What did I do to deserve this? The things I do for life.
Zero: (Zanigata) That was my daughter you bit, you son-of-a-(bleep!), I got this pretty pair of bracelets for where you're goin'! (Holds skull like a pair of handcuffs)
Kenshin: (Scotsman) Oh, I like yer attitude. Why don't you take this thing and slit his throat? (Hands the machete over to Zero and takes the skull)
Zero: (Scotsman) Ach, man! How did I get such a horrible Scottish accent?!? It doesn't work with this gigantic ponytail I suddenly got!
(Audience laughs)
Kenshin: (Zanigata) Don't look at me, you got that counterfeit skull from the black market, that you did. And after I take this bum, I shutting those guys down.
Audience laughs.
X: (Courage) Did you guys know that I have friends in high places?
Kenshin: (Zanigata) You think I care?
X: (Courage) And I thought Eustace was nasty. (Looks at the floor) And just look at all this mud you tracked in! My cape is ruined! (Hands the broom to Kenshin, takes the machete from Zero and hands him back the skull)
Kenshin: (Courage) So what's gonna happen to Muriel?
X: (Scotsman) Forget this Muriel, who in Nessie's great bouffant given me the sudden urge to lead my people to freedom against the English?
Audience applauds. At the desk, Scythe doubles over in laughter
Zero: (Zanigata) Ooh! Ooh! I know! It's Lupin! I just know it's him: that dirty thief thrives on chaos! Just give me 5 minutes: I'll skin him alive!
Kenshin: (Courage) Lupin?? (Screams) A-A-A-A-H-H-H!!!
X: (Scotsman, looking crossed) Just what the heck is it with you and flowers, ya loud-mouthed, slop-slingin' sissy, blitherin' domino-playin' swine? You're the sorriest haggis-stuffin' piece of peat moss I ever laid eyes on!
Zero: (looking at X with a confused look)
X: (Scotsman) I'm callin' you a moron!
(Everyone laughs, the audience the actors, Scythe falls out of his chair laughing like crazy)
X: (Scotsman) What's with the vagabond over there? (Points at Scythe)
Zero knells next to Scythe and pretends to examine him.
Zero: (Zanigata) He's been tainted by the vampire!
Scythe: HA HA HA HA!! TOO FUNNY, CAN'T... STOP... LAUGHING!!! (laughs hysterically)
Zero: (Zanigata) Hey, red: take this stake and kill the darn bloodsucker before it's too late! (Hands Kenshin the skull and takes the broom)
X: (Scotsman) Haw haw haw! Ya think you can kill me with a wee broom like that? Come on!
A brief comedic scuffle ensues, when the dust settles, X is pinned to the floor holding the broom, Zero prodding him with the machete, and Kenshin begins to pound X with the skull.
Kenshin: (Zanigata) We got you at last, you stupid bloodsucker!
X: (Courage) You think I'm happy for you?
Zero: (Scotsman) It's better than being in your posistion right now. I'm getting' hungry; what's say we get some haggis?
Kenshin & X: What's "Haggis"?
Zero: (Scotsman) Heart, liver, and kidneys of sheep boiled in it's own stomach!
The audience groan in disgust, Scythe snaps out of his fit of laughter and promptly slams the buzzer. Everyone returns to their seats.
Scythe: (wipes away his tears) ... 1000 to all of you. I had no idea we were going to have so much fun with that.
Kenshin: Is that much swearing really allowed in one sentence?
X: Don't ask me, I'm just playing the part.
Scythe: (chuckles) And a 500 point bonus go to X an excellent Scotsman impersonation.
X: (Scotsman) Well thank ye, laddie.
Zero: I really liked that Braveheart bit.
Everyone laughs.
Scythe: Don't go anywhere, we've got one more show for you tonight, so stick around for more "Whose Line is it, Anyway?" after a brief message:
.... NI!
Thank you.
Act 3:
Audience applauds as ususal. Dave, Kaoru, Scythe and Zero are on the stage. X is sitting at the desk.
Scythe: Welcome back to WLITA?, Toinght's winners are Kaoru, Zero, and our returning guest, Dave the Barbarian!
Audience applauds,. In the seats, X and Kenshin count up thick stacks of money.
Dave: Were those two bribed?
Scythe: Yeah, what are you gonna do?
Kaoru: (yells at Scythe) You're going to be on the floor seeing stars if you stop the wise cracks!
Scythe (sweat drops) Uh, what I meant was on with the show! (laughs sheepishly) Tonight, we're going to do a game called "Living scenery. This one's for me and Dave: what happens is that Dave and I are going to perform but since the writer's too cheap to spring for actual props, we have to use Kaoru and Zero in their places.
X: (opens up a card) And the scene you have to perform is.. "Dave is arguing with director Scythe, about how to finish the "Oh, Pastry!" Musical". Zero's going to be the props for Dave, and Kaoru, you're regrettably going to be the props fore Scythe.
Kaoru gets on her legs and elbows to make a desk.
Scythe: (pretends to write on Kaoru's back) .. No this won't do at all.
Dave: I have a bone to pick with you!
Scythe: And what is it this time, Dave?
Dave: You're destroying my musical!
Scythe: ....So?
Dave: (Holds Zero like a sword) This is not supposed to happen!
Scythe: Dave, do you know the consequences a project like this have on Udrogoth?
Dave: What could be worse? The people banished me for singing the closing number.
Scythe: (puts Kaoru's arms around his neck like a cape) They can level the whole kingdom!
Dave: I guess that's it then. I challenge you to battle!
Dave hold's Zero's ponytail like a dueling glove and slaps Scythe across the face... knocking the latter to the floor.
Audience laughs
Scythe: (gets up angrily) I accept! (slaps Dave with Karou's right hand.) This musical was a bad idea anyway!
Dave: You won't be so high-and-mighty once I bind you in this rope.
Zero: Don't even think about it.
Audience laughs
Scythe: (Looking confused) Since when can rope talk?
Dave: I don't need this: (Makes Zero into a chair and sits) I'm on a sit down strike.
Scythe: Go ahead. Just do it out side my office! (puts Kaoru in front of Dave and spreads her arms out like two closed doors.) Now I can do more important things: like working on my art. (Puts Kaoru on her knees) This bust is almost finished.
Dave: Not as finished as you'll be when I show you this incriminating photo of you taking bribes!
Scythe: (looking shocked) ... You despicable barbaric dog!
Dave: I thought you'd see things my way.. Now I'll just help myself to your bust, and practice my putting. (grabs Kaoru and acts like he's playing golf.)
Scythe: That's what you think: That thing's not a putter.
Dave: What is it?
Kaoru: (puts on a really scary face) BOO!!!!!!!
Dave: (Screams like a little girl and faints)
Scythe: My secret putter-that-turns-into-scary-mask trap! Now, Dave the Barbarian, I shall destroy you like a bug! (laughs manically and incoherently)
X hits the buzzer.
Scythe: (annoyed) Ah man, why did you do that for? I was on a roll!
X: You're a real ham, you know that?
Dave: (gets off the floor) You seriously remind me of Chuckles.
Scythe: Guess he rubbed off on me. (Sighs) All right, let's take a break and do the credits...
One short break later, .. Everyone's on the stage.
Scythe: Welcome back. Tonight we're ending the show with everyone helping out with the credits. X and Zero are going to read the credits, and they're going to do it while chasing dangerous mavericks. On behalf of ravenf6, I'd like to thank Dave, X, and Zero for being on the show and our regulars as well. We'll see you next chapter.
X: (switches his left arm to X-buster mode) Attention all Jimmy Mulvilles, please evacuate the area!
Zero: We have a potentially dangerous 101 on our hands Search and destroy Tom Park!
Kenshin leads Kaoru away from the two.
X: (Points X-buster at Kenshin and Kaoru) Aha! I should have known you'd still be kidnapping, Bruce Ryan.
Kenshin: You must be mistaken: We're evacauating.
Zero: (Takes out Z-saber) A likely story. Take us to your boss!
Kaoru: Just who do you think you are, you obnoxious Ed Greena?
X: Zero, leave those civilians alone.
Zero: I don't think so. (Advances on Kenshin) This guy's a mole for Sigma.
Kenshin: (Unsheathes Sakabatou) You really are a fool, aren't you?
Zero: (smirks) So you wanna do this? I've taken down guys like you with my bare hands.
Kenshin: You should save that for when you're the last one standing....
X: This is going to get ugly: Zero can be really stubborn sometimes.
Kaoru: Kenshin can be the same way sometimes too.
Scythe: Man, I wish I could sell tickets for this but we're out of time.
Sorry it took me so long to update folks, between writer's block and many other things, I've had little time to write. If anyone still cares, I still welcome suggestions for new shows, new guests, etc.
Future prospects to follow in the future:
Kamiya Dojo Insomniacs (chapter 11)
Mega Python's Flying Circus (chapter 2)
I'd like to send my thanks to those who have read my fic and left reviews and update encouragements (even if some were under pain of being crushed or something horrible like it) and a special thanks to key 16 for his suggestion to have Dave on the show; hope to see more suggestions from you, pal.
Well, I'd like to stay and chat, but between work and potentially Hurricane Frances, it will probably be a while before I can write again.
Ja ne!