- I'm so glad my readers didn't go away! . I love you all!!
-.- I've been having so much trouble writing this..since... I don't know what to write!!! TT
I'm still on writers block with this story but I managed to make it through! -.- I hope you enjoy it...I like the chapter
Oh and the first half of the chapter...well...I didn't sleep when I wrote it, you know, dark rings around my eyes...just...kind of became a slight insomniac but I couldn't get to sleep and then for some unforeseen, stupid...strange reason...I had an energy drink....and then I got the reveiw from Otaku Pitcher and then somehow it just clicked in my mind to write. Since now I had the time and some reason, random things happen when I'm half dead/tired/dead.../numb feeling so now this chapter started because of a birthday party that I couldn't sleep at because I didn't have a blanket and I was cold... and I just kept talking. If you actually read all that.... you have now read part of my thinking process that just seemed to be typed down... and how much I ramble!
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Chapter 25: Ruined Relationship
========
(Chichiri's PoV)
After what seemed a horrifying yet peaceful sleep, I woke up holding Kibou close. Her arms were around me and her head was buried in my chest. I began to blush, not pulling away from the comforting hold, but not furthering the contact any. The song of the birds sang sweetly in my ears from outside, but the rage of war was still a vague sound in the distance. The war still wasn't over, it was far from being over. I sighed softly to myself. For Kibou's sake...as well as the people fighting... I wanted this war to end more than anything.
A thought suddenly crawled into my head. Why was I in bed? With Kibou? My head started to ache when I tried to remember the events that had occured. Jason...something about Jason...A rush of pain surged through my head and my arms untangled from around Kibou, grasping my head in pain.
I shook Kibou awake; her eyes shot open, and she watched me worriedly. "Houjun? Are you alright?"
"I...W-what happened, no da?" I said stuttering.
I felt Kibou rush out of the bed and with quick light steps, ran out of the room. I was confused but the pain continued to consume my head and the thought of her completely drained out. Sweat started to break out as a cold evil aura filled the room. "She is mine!" A disturbingly familiar male's voice said coldly.
The door shot open and slammed closed and something slammed on the ground. A bit of rustling of what sounded like ice and a refreshingly cool towel wiped away most of the sweat on my forehead. Soft hands forced me back to laying down and the towel was lain on my head. "Houjun! Are you ok? What's wrong? What happened?" She asked in a bit of a frantic tone, squeezing my hand tightly.
"I-I...don't....know..." I managed out trying to ease my headache.
The evil aura still lingered in the air but my splitting headache kept me back from trying to get rid of it...or even know what it was. "K-kibou," I stuttered squeezing her hand back. She looked at me curiously.. "It's ...not safe, no da." I muttered.
"Huh? What was that, Houjun?"
"..Get out, no da." I said more coldly than I intended and I pushed her away from me.
I looked to her, and in the blur that my vision was in, I could see her face hurt. A part me tore out at that moment, I instantly wanted to apologize, but
I don't want anything bad to happen to her. Jason...he somehow possessed me and hurt Kibou. She started to walk back slowly, opening the door and walking out, her eyes were on the verge of tears. She slammed the door and I heard her running. I looked down feeling a guilty rage build inside me. I could help but have the feeling left when the headache grew stronger and the evil aura made it seem like it was turning the room black. I got out of bed and staggered over to the wall where my shakujou stood. I grabbed the golden staff and my body slammed to the ground.
"Ha, ha, ha, ha! How sweet, you try to get her away." The same voice said, each and every word breathed into my soul and sent a chill down my spine.
I held up the shakujou but I stayed kneeling, trying to concetrate on the source of the evil more than my headache. I felt numb at a part of my soul and it almost felt as if evil was growning within me. The same feeling from before. I tapped the bottom of the shakujou on the ground and chanted a spell to cast a barrier around me.
Then I remembered that my powers were gone; whatever I did was useless..
"Ha, ha, isn't this the most wonderful time to come out?"
"W-who are you, and why are you doing this?"
"Why do you think I'm doing this?" the voice said ignoring the first question. "My woman...You stole her from me..."
Jason... it had to be him. Who else would it be? How'd he get here though? Isn't he human? "Where are you?"
"Ha, ha, ha, hmmmm...I think this would be more fun!"
The numb feeling quickly enveloped me. The feeling of evil posessed my entire body but I could still see. I couldn't feel, but I could see. "Now Chichiri, what should we do? Ha, ha I could do the very thing to Kibou that make her run right back to me."
"You can't do it, no da!"
"Just watch me, Chichiri...I won't mess up like the last time." His voice had taken mine, he looked down and picked up my mask and put it on. "What an annoyance this is...but it should help me."
"What the hell did ya do?!" Tasuki yelled bursting through the door. His face was contorted in anger, yet at the same time a bit shocked as he clenched his tessen that remained at his side, ready to use at any given time.
"What, na no da?"
"Don't give me that! Ya hurt Kibou's feelin's that's what! She's cryin' in her room right now and it's not in worry of ya this time!" he spat disgustedly.
I closed my eyes in guilt. Kibou...I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to make her cry...Anything but that... "It was a misunderstanding, no da. I'll just go apologize to her, no da." He made me say it so emotionlossly, and it made Tasuki even more angry.
"What the hell's wrong with ya', Chichiri?"
"Nothing, na no da. I'll go to her room..."
He brushed past Tasuki and walked down the hall. 'Don't you dare touch her!!' I tried to yell, but no sound came out.
"Fool. I stole your voice."
He stopped and knocked on the door. I watched every move he made...but I couldn't feel it... "Yes?" a quiet voice from inside came.
"Kibou, no da."
He opened the door and I saw Kibou turned away from the door, "If you didn't want me there...You should've said... I never thought you'd be so rude about something..."
He walked over to her and hugged her from behind. Kibou made no sign of moving to acknowlegde the hug. "The headache was getting to me and I didn't want to have you too worried, no da."
"So you'd rather have me mad at you?" She said in such a cold tone that it felt as she had just reached out and tore my heart out. How I wanted to apologize to her... How I wanted her to understand...!
"Look Kibou, why are you mad, no da? You get hurt too easily."
Rage started to build inside me. There's only one reason that she's hurt so easily, and it was because of him. He was the source of all her pain, all the emotion-or lack of emotion- she may feel. I tried to concetrate my strength to my hand, I felt nothing, but I kept trying, the anger of him saying such things to Kibou kept me moving. He isn't going to do anything to Kibou... I won't let him... Evil bastard...
Kibou's head turned to him, her eyes were dull in the light, her tears had ceased, but hurt was all I could see when I looked down into her deep brown eyes. "Kibou, come on, I'm sorry."
"I thought you were different..." she muttered turning away.
"You know I am, no da. I was probably just getting annoyed with you."
Annoyed?! -Annoyed-?! How could I -ever- think Kibou was -annoying-?! Her presence enlightens my soul and I treasure every moment with her! How could I possibly think I was annoyed of her?! The fire of rage in my heart burned bigger as I was vastly building thoughts to -kill- Jason.
Her body stiffened, but she quickly got up, pulling away from my body that was posessed. "I never knew... I knew I was clingy, but I never thought you minded it..." she said and her voice had slightly cracked when she said that.
'I don't mind it!!' I wanted to scream, 'You're everything to me, Kibou..'
"You just get in the way. You should go back to that...Jason. Suzaku knows I don't want you."
No...He...
With the little pride she had, she got up, turned around, and slapped me across the face. I felt no pain, since Jason had taken over. He wiped off my mouth where blood now trickled down and laughed.
"Good bye to you too then."
At this point, Kibou had crumbled to her knees and she buried her head in her hands. Jason made me turn away and leave the room as if it was nothing.
He hurt Kibou's feeling without hesitation. That cold -
"Well, I didn't really 'touch' her now did I, Chichiri? Now she'll be running back to me..."
I screamed even though he had taken my voice. Enraged, my heart seemed to be pushing away the evil possessing my body with the negative anger of my soul. "Well... Can't let you do that."
He snapped my fingers and it felt as if I was thrown back. "Useless." He said mockingly.
He came in my room and took the mask off. "I should knock you out so that I could just destroy this body and it wouldn't matter. Kibou will be crying
back to me."
You monster...
"Ha, ha, not much from you, is there?"
I'll kill you...
"Now, now, monks aren't supposed to hurt anything."
The title's lost because I fell in love...You won't take her away... You won't take my Kibou away from me!!
With all my might, the rage surpressed through me and exploded. The numb feeling flooded out and I had won my body back. I saw a body sitting on the floor that could be seen through. It was black as if it was a shadow. It glared up at me, the red eyes showed me the face of pure evil. Somehow, it almost seemed as if a smirk had curled his invisible lips. "Well, you have quite a strong will...But lets see if you live..."
What? What did he mean by that?
The door was suddenly shot down and practically broken to peices. Tasuki eyes burned with more rage than it had before. He held his tessen up now; even though he couldn't use it, he could beat me to a bloody pulp with it.. "So, ya' lyin' peice of shit, ya broke up with her, didn't you?"
He came closer to me and he raised his fist. I held my hands up. "Tasuki! Look, you've got it all wrong! I would never hurt Kibou! You of all people should know that!" I cried.
"That's why she's bawlin' on the floor! You'd never hurt her huh? That's why she'd rather die right now!"
"Tasuki, please! Jason possessed me! -He- said all those things to her! I would never say anything like that to her!"
"Possessed huh? Awful convenient that you're normal now then." He scowled.
"It's a coincidence..."
"Yeah, like I'm going to believe that." He punched me in the face and I went flying into a wall.
"Tasuki, stop it!" Kibou's strained voice yelled. I looked to the broken down door and saw Kibou. She wasn't crying, but she was holding it back. "This is stupid... There's no need to make a fight, it's only a stupid relationship. A stupid childish game... Don't fight him, Tasuki, save your strength...but thanks for caring."
"Kibou-"
"I'm gonna go now." she said cutting me off. She shot a slightly cold glare at me, the only acknowledgement of my existence, and turned away.
"You know, I respected ya, Chichiri." Tasuki spat, putting his tessen away. "Never thought you were like this...and I don't know what made it start..."
I opened my mouth, but shut it quickly. There was nothing I could say that could fix this. Tasuki obviously couldn't say anymore, and left the room, disgusted by me. I got up quickly, ignoring the pain as the side of my head. I quickly got out and saw Kibou almost at the end of the hall. Her head was bowed down and she walked sluggishly. I ran to her as fast as I could. "Kibou, no da! Please, Kibou, stop!"
Her sluggish movement ceased, but she didn't turn around. "Kibou, please hear me out..."
"You're just like Jason... Hurting my feelings with your words...and then apologizing for them and saying you love me...that's what you're going to say...isn't it? Are all men like this?"
I bit my lip, anything that'd I'd say would make the situation worse... The truth would be unbelieveable and there is no lie to make it better. I've never really been in this situation before... This is...our first fight too...I never thought I'd have one with her... but it's for all the wrong reasons! I say one thing.... One thing...it came out wrong...and this happens... The gods must be punishing me.
"Kibou... Listen to me, no da. Please... I'm not like that, you should know that, no da."
"You're annoyed with me... Everyone has their breaking points..."
"Kibou, I was possessed by Jason! I told you to leave my room because I felt an evil presence! When he got into me, he went to try to hurt you so that you would go back to him."
"...Maybe I should give up on men...I should've learned when I was with Jason." She said as if she ignored my last comment.
I clenched my fists. This wasn't working, she's completely against me. She walked away and I let her, praying that this would be fixed over time, even though a nagging in my heart said otherwise.
===========
Ok...this chapter was a lot longer in my head... but oh well... I hope you liked the chapter, it took a while to think through but it all came out.
Thank you for being my beta otaku-no-miko I love you !! .
....well...that's all I could think of to say... Isn't that a lovely place to end? Anyway, reveiw, I'm almost halfway through the 26th chapter because I'm out of my writer's block I should do a lot better... so reveiw! -
CosmicMoon
-.- I've been having so much trouble writing this..since... I don't know what to write!!! TT
I'm still on writers block with this story but I managed to make it through! -.- I hope you enjoy it...I like the chapter
Oh and the first half of the chapter...well...I didn't sleep when I wrote it, you know, dark rings around my eyes...just...kind of became a slight insomniac but I couldn't get to sleep and then for some unforeseen, stupid...strange reason...I had an energy drink....and then I got the reveiw from Otaku Pitcher and then somehow it just clicked in my mind to write. Since now I had the time and some reason, random things happen when I'm half dead/tired/dead.../numb feeling so now this chapter started because of a birthday party that I couldn't sleep at because I didn't have a blanket and I was cold... and I just kept talking. If you actually read all that.... you have now read part of my thinking process that just seemed to be typed down... and how much I ramble!
========
Chapter 25: Ruined Relationship
========
(Chichiri's PoV)
After what seemed a horrifying yet peaceful sleep, I woke up holding Kibou close. Her arms were around me and her head was buried in my chest. I began to blush, not pulling away from the comforting hold, but not furthering the contact any. The song of the birds sang sweetly in my ears from outside, but the rage of war was still a vague sound in the distance. The war still wasn't over, it was far from being over. I sighed softly to myself. For Kibou's sake...as well as the people fighting... I wanted this war to end more than anything.
A thought suddenly crawled into my head. Why was I in bed? With Kibou? My head started to ache when I tried to remember the events that had occured. Jason...something about Jason...A rush of pain surged through my head and my arms untangled from around Kibou, grasping my head in pain.
I shook Kibou awake; her eyes shot open, and she watched me worriedly. "Houjun? Are you alright?"
"I...W-what happened, no da?" I said stuttering.
I felt Kibou rush out of the bed and with quick light steps, ran out of the room. I was confused but the pain continued to consume my head and the thought of her completely drained out. Sweat started to break out as a cold evil aura filled the room. "She is mine!" A disturbingly familiar male's voice said coldly.
The door shot open and slammed closed and something slammed on the ground. A bit of rustling of what sounded like ice and a refreshingly cool towel wiped away most of the sweat on my forehead. Soft hands forced me back to laying down and the towel was lain on my head. "Houjun! Are you ok? What's wrong? What happened?" She asked in a bit of a frantic tone, squeezing my hand tightly.
"I-I...don't....know..." I managed out trying to ease my headache.
The evil aura still lingered in the air but my splitting headache kept me back from trying to get rid of it...or even know what it was. "K-kibou," I stuttered squeezing her hand back. She looked at me curiously.. "It's ...not safe, no da." I muttered.
"Huh? What was that, Houjun?"
"..Get out, no da." I said more coldly than I intended and I pushed her away from me.
I looked to her, and in the blur that my vision was in, I could see her face hurt. A part me tore out at that moment, I instantly wanted to apologize, but
I don't want anything bad to happen to her. Jason...he somehow possessed me and hurt Kibou. She started to walk back slowly, opening the door and walking out, her eyes were on the verge of tears. She slammed the door and I heard her running. I looked down feeling a guilty rage build inside me. I could help but have the feeling left when the headache grew stronger and the evil aura made it seem like it was turning the room black. I got out of bed and staggered over to the wall where my shakujou stood. I grabbed the golden staff and my body slammed to the ground.
"Ha, ha, ha, ha! How sweet, you try to get her away." The same voice said, each and every word breathed into my soul and sent a chill down my spine.
I held up the shakujou but I stayed kneeling, trying to concetrate on the source of the evil more than my headache. I felt numb at a part of my soul and it almost felt as if evil was growning within me. The same feeling from before. I tapped the bottom of the shakujou on the ground and chanted a spell to cast a barrier around me.
Then I remembered that my powers were gone; whatever I did was useless..
"Ha, ha, isn't this the most wonderful time to come out?"
"W-who are you, and why are you doing this?"
"Why do you think I'm doing this?" the voice said ignoring the first question. "My woman...You stole her from me..."
Jason... it had to be him. Who else would it be? How'd he get here though? Isn't he human? "Where are you?"
"Ha, ha, ha, hmmmm...I think this would be more fun!"
The numb feeling quickly enveloped me. The feeling of evil posessed my entire body but I could still see. I couldn't feel, but I could see. "Now Chichiri, what should we do? Ha, ha I could do the very thing to Kibou that make her run right back to me."
"You can't do it, no da!"
"Just watch me, Chichiri...I won't mess up like the last time." His voice had taken mine, he looked down and picked up my mask and put it on. "What an annoyance this is...but it should help me."
"What the hell did ya do?!" Tasuki yelled bursting through the door. His face was contorted in anger, yet at the same time a bit shocked as he clenched his tessen that remained at his side, ready to use at any given time.
"What, na no da?"
"Don't give me that! Ya hurt Kibou's feelin's that's what! She's cryin' in her room right now and it's not in worry of ya this time!" he spat disgustedly.
I closed my eyes in guilt. Kibou...I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to make her cry...Anything but that... "It was a misunderstanding, no da. I'll just go apologize to her, no da." He made me say it so emotionlossly, and it made Tasuki even more angry.
"What the hell's wrong with ya', Chichiri?"
"Nothing, na no da. I'll go to her room..."
He brushed past Tasuki and walked down the hall. 'Don't you dare touch her!!' I tried to yell, but no sound came out.
"Fool. I stole your voice."
He stopped and knocked on the door. I watched every move he made...but I couldn't feel it... "Yes?" a quiet voice from inside came.
"Kibou, no da."
He opened the door and I saw Kibou turned away from the door, "If you didn't want me there...You should've said... I never thought you'd be so rude about something..."
He walked over to her and hugged her from behind. Kibou made no sign of moving to acknowlegde the hug. "The headache was getting to me and I didn't want to have you too worried, no da."
"So you'd rather have me mad at you?" She said in such a cold tone that it felt as she had just reached out and tore my heart out. How I wanted to apologize to her... How I wanted her to understand...!
"Look Kibou, why are you mad, no da? You get hurt too easily."
Rage started to build inside me. There's only one reason that she's hurt so easily, and it was because of him. He was the source of all her pain, all the emotion-or lack of emotion- she may feel. I tried to concetrate my strength to my hand, I felt nothing, but I kept trying, the anger of him saying such things to Kibou kept me moving. He isn't going to do anything to Kibou... I won't let him... Evil bastard...
Kibou's head turned to him, her eyes were dull in the light, her tears had ceased, but hurt was all I could see when I looked down into her deep brown eyes. "Kibou, come on, I'm sorry."
"I thought you were different..." she muttered turning away.
"You know I am, no da. I was probably just getting annoyed with you."
Annoyed?! -Annoyed-?! How could I -ever- think Kibou was -annoying-?! Her presence enlightens my soul and I treasure every moment with her! How could I possibly think I was annoyed of her?! The fire of rage in my heart burned bigger as I was vastly building thoughts to -kill- Jason.
Her body stiffened, but she quickly got up, pulling away from my body that was posessed. "I never knew... I knew I was clingy, but I never thought you minded it..." she said and her voice had slightly cracked when she said that.
'I don't mind it!!' I wanted to scream, 'You're everything to me, Kibou..'
"You just get in the way. You should go back to that...Jason. Suzaku knows I don't want you."
No...He...
With the little pride she had, she got up, turned around, and slapped me across the face. I felt no pain, since Jason had taken over. He wiped off my mouth where blood now trickled down and laughed.
"Good bye to you too then."
At this point, Kibou had crumbled to her knees and she buried her head in her hands. Jason made me turn away and leave the room as if it was nothing.
He hurt Kibou's feeling without hesitation. That cold -
"Well, I didn't really 'touch' her now did I, Chichiri? Now she'll be running back to me..."
I screamed even though he had taken my voice. Enraged, my heart seemed to be pushing away the evil possessing my body with the negative anger of my soul. "Well... Can't let you do that."
He snapped my fingers and it felt as if I was thrown back. "Useless." He said mockingly.
He came in my room and took the mask off. "I should knock you out so that I could just destroy this body and it wouldn't matter. Kibou will be crying
back to me."
You monster...
"Ha, ha, not much from you, is there?"
I'll kill you...
"Now, now, monks aren't supposed to hurt anything."
The title's lost because I fell in love...You won't take her away... You won't take my Kibou away from me!!
With all my might, the rage surpressed through me and exploded. The numb feeling flooded out and I had won my body back. I saw a body sitting on the floor that could be seen through. It was black as if it was a shadow. It glared up at me, the red eyes showed me the face of pure evil. Somehow, it almost seemed as if a smirk had curled his invisible lips. "Well, you have quite a strong will...But lets see if you live..."
What? What did he mean by that?
The door was suddenly shot down and practically broken to peices. Tasuki eyes burned with more rage than it had before. He held his tessen up now; even though he couldn't use it, he could beat me to a bloody pulp with it.. "So, ya' lyin' peice of shit, ya broke up with her, didn't you?"
He came closer to me and he raised his fist. I held my hands up. "Tasuki! Look, you've got it all wrong! I would never hurt Kibou! You of all people should know that!" I cried.
"That's why she's bawlin' on the floor! You'd never hurt her huh? That's why she'd rather die right now!"
"Tasuki, please! Jason possessed me! -He- said all those things to her! I would never say anything like that to her!"
"Possessed huh? Awful convenient that you're normal now then." He scowled.
"It's a coincidence..."
"Yeah, like I'm going to believe that." He punched me in the face and I went flying into a wall.
"Tasuki, stop it!" Kibou's strained voice yelled. I looked to the broken down door and saw Kibou. She wasn't crying, but she was holding it back. "This is stupid... There's no need to make a fight, it's only a stupid relationship. A stupid childish game... Don't fight him, Tasuki, save your strength...but thanks for caring."
"Kibou-"
"I'm gonna go now." she said cutting me off. She shot a slightly cold glare at me, the only acknowledgement of my existence, and turned away.
"You know, I respected ya, Chichiri." Tasuki spat, putting his tessen away. "Never thought you were like this...and I don't know what made it start..."
I opened my mouth, but shut it quickly. There was nothing I could say that could fix this. Tasuki obviously couldn't say anymore, and left the room, disgusted by me. I got up quickly, ignoring the pain as the side of my head. I quickly got out and saw Kibou almost at the end of the hall. Her head was bowed down and she walked sluggishly. I ran to her as fast as I could. "Kibou, no da! Please, Kibou, stop!"
Her sluggish movement ceased, but she didn't turn around. "Kibou, please hear me out..."
"You're just like Jason... Hurting my feelings with your words...and then apologizing for them and saying you love me...that's what you're going to say...isn't it? Are all men like this?"
I bit my lip, anything that'd I'd say would make the situation worse... The truth would be unbelieveable and there is no lie to make it better. I've never really been in this situation before... This is...our first fight too...I never thought I'd have one with her... but it's for all the wrong reasons! I say one thing.... One thing...it came out wrong...and this happens... The gods must be punishing me.
"Kibou... Listen to me, no da. Please... I'm not like that, you should know that, no da."
"You're annoyed with me... Everyone has their breaking points..."
"Kibou, I was possessed by Jason! I told you to leave my room because I felt an evil presence! When he got into me, he went to try to hurt you so that you would go back to him."
"...Maybe I should give up on men...I should've learned when I was with Jason." She said as if she ignored my last comment.
I clenched my fists. This wasn't working, she's completely against me. She walked away and I let her, praying that this would be fixed over time, even though a nagging in my heart said otherwise.
===========
Ok...this chapter was a lot longer in my head... but oh well... I hope you liked the chapter, it took a while to think through but it all came out.
Thank you for being my beta otaku-no-miko I love you !! .
....well...that's all I could think of to say... Isn't that a lovely place to end? Anyway, reveiw, I'm almost halfway through the 26th chapter because I'm out of my writer's block I should do a lot better... so reveiw! -
CosmicMoon