Title: You and I
Author: Mage
Rating: R
CHAPTER FIVE: Love of a Lion
The room seemed to stand in paralysed shock for a moment. It occupants staring at the retreating boy in stunned silence. For a moment, Harry just stood there staring after Draco's retreating form before he snapped out of his shock and moved to go after him.
"Let him go Harry."
The soft voice of Albus Dumbledore stopped Harry in his tracks. "He needs to be alone right now."
Harry turned to the old man, seeing him look sad and withdrawn. His eyes were sparkling, but for once it wasn't because of cheer. To Harry, it strangely seemed like he was forcing himself not to cry. Seeing Dumbledore like this only made Harry more angry. If the old man was feeling like this for Draco, just by having seen what happened to him, he could only imagine the immeasurable pain that his love was going through. And the knowledge that this was partly his fault only fueled his anger.
Gazing around the room, Harry set his eyes on the source of his lover's pain. He was shaking all over.
"How could you hurt him like that?" he asked through greeted teeth. "Your own son!"
"Right now he is no son of mine!" Narcissa said fiercely. "No son of mine would ever degrade himself like this! Carrying a bastard child created during some drunken party."
"That child Draco is carrying is not some product of a sleazy fling! He was made through the love of two people. We love each other!"
"The love of two people?" came Narcissa's snarling retort. "Just because you have created a child doesn't mean that you two are in love. Just because you have had sex it doesn't mean you even know what love truly is!"
"Do not tell me what I know and do not know, Mrs. Malfoy!" Harry yelled. "You do not know me! And it looks to me like you do not know Draco either."
"Do not tell me that I do not know my own son. I do know him. I just do not know this person that he has become."
All emotion suddenly evaporated from Harry's face and a blank mask was in its place. When he spoke, the anger that his voice had contained only moments before was gone, replaced with an eerily calm and emotionless tone.
"That's what I have found lacking with parents," Harry said.
Though his voice was just above a whisper, it rang loud and clear in the otherwise quiet room.
"Their lack of ability to actually put those oh so infamous words out of context and into reality. They have it in their minds that they know you. Yet what they see is what they want to see. They have this illusion of who you are in their heads and they think that that is who you really are. They believe that just because they brought you into this world, they have all rights to you and who you are. Well, let me tell you this. They don't. You know us no better then the strangers on the street!"
By this time Harry's tone had grown bitter.
"You know Narcissa, you were right before. There are many things I still do not know, but let me tell you this. I know I will not make the mistake with my son that you have all made with us," he stated.
Then, with his last words, he diverted his eyes to two other occupants in the room, yet his words hit all present. "I will not make the mistake of being a failure of a parent."
Narcissa's soft features, so like her son's, were drawn into a mask of pain. Her midnight blue eyes, glossy with tears, had turned almost black as a result of the weight of her emotions. Harry had wanted to hurt her like she had hurt Draco, and one look in those haunted eyes and he knew he had succeeded. The bitter words that he had dragged from the very depth of his soul were brought forth to lash at her, and it cut her deep. Somehow Harry could not bring himself to care. Those words had filled every part of his being when they were spilled into the open, and he only relished the pain shining in Narcissa's eyes. Her pain only served as a perfect partner for what he felt inside.
Narcissa started to shake in her pain and despair. Her pearly teeth gripping her bottom lip tightly, in an effort to stop the sob from escaping. She gnawed at her lip, hard and unyielding.
Harry froze.
He had seen that act so many times. Seen it accompanied by scared grey eyes, gazing up at him with so much love and faith. It was an external indicator of what the young blond boy would be feeling inside. Lost and vulnerable. It was a part of Draco that, up until now, only he was ever allowed to see. A product of a lover's unyielding trust.
Seeing the act, so similar to his love's, brought him out of bitter darkness, and he pushed the shadows back to the bottom of his being. In shame, he closed his eyes against the sight. But when he closed his eyes, instead of darkness, he was only met with the trusting eyes of his love. Eyes that belonged to a person that trusted him not to betray his heart and all it contained. Yet he knew he had. Harry had known. Known from the moment that the beautiful blond had let him in, how important his family was to him. You can not know Draco's heart without knowing his family. He knew that Narcissa and Lucius were only acting as many parents would be. Their fear for their child, and their anger for the situation that he was now forced into, had clouded their judgment. They were emotional, they were scared, they were angry, and they did not think about what they were saying.
"You know what else I know, Mrs. Malfoy? I know your son. I know who he is inside. He is so amazing, so loving and loyal, so perfect, so pure. I've loved him for so long. Loved him so much it hurts. Nothing I have ever had with him has ever been sullied by something as dirty as a mere fling. He isn't like that. He will never settle for something that meaningless. I will tell you this; that once I would have taken him as a mere fling and nothing more. But I now know Draco. I know that he wouldn't have settled for that. You have raised an amazing person, Mrs. Malfoy."
Harry started at Narcissa, eyes shinning with an earnest truth. Draco was like that. Upon seeing the Slytherin boy you would think him so cold, so heartless, so immoral, but in reality Harry at times felt inadequate next to the amazing person that Draco was. Having seen Lucius, Harry now saw the echoes of this man in his son. To the world they were unyielding, their name shadowing who they were. Yet they were, in truth, so honorable.
Harry remembered the day he had met Draco, at Madam Malkins robe shop. He remembered the day that the young blond boy had held out his hand in friendship. He remembered his rejecting of that first bond upon hearing the young boy's name. He had judged him first by the prejudice placed upon that name. Yet throughout the following years, he could not shake himself of the boy. His strength and defiance had captivated Harry. That fierce spirit and dazzling presence that was so uniquely Draco pulled him towards the boy.
Draco at times could be cold, ruthless, crass, and even a little heartless. But as the years passed and Harry was no longer the boy immersed in his parents' prejudices, and he learned to think on his own, he began to realize the unfairness of the world. He saw the prejudices placed upon the Slytherins and families like the Malfoys. He began to notice the hurt in the Slytherin boy's eyes when they taunted and judged him. He began to recognize the mask that Draco wore for what it was. A shield to protect him from the world's disposition.
When the puzzle that was Draco Malfoy began to form in front of him, Harry knew, he knew that it was no shame to feel such a pull to the Slytherin. That the attraction that for so many years he fought so hard to deny, was no sully to his character.
In Draco, he had learnt that there was more to one then the mask they wore. When they were alone, Draco would let that mask fall and he was even more amazing. He remembered their first time. He remembered the surprise that he felt at the realization that the gorgeous "Slytherin sex god" was, in fact, a virgin. He remembered the fierce possessiveness that had grown in him. This boy was his only. He remembered soon after the fierce protectiveness that had over come him as he watched the boy looking so delicate and angelic in his slumber. This boy was his. His to protect. No one would hurt him.
In Draco, he had learnt what love truly was. In all its joys. In all its sadness. In all its beauty and ugliness. He learnt how it felt to feel so vulnerable under someone's possession. He learnt what it was to feel powerful over someone's whole being. In Draco he had grown, and in Draco he had found the best and worst he could be.
"I'm sorry for what I said earlier, Mrs. Malfoy," Harry said softly. "It's just, I'm a little protective of Draco. I hate seeing him hurt. I'll protect him from everything. Even if it is from you."
Narcissa looked up, her shimmering eyes locking on Harry's. "You love him that much?" she whispered.
"Not even close," Harry replied. "I love him that much more."
At that Harry stepped away from the delicate woman and let his gaze roam the room. The other occupants were still in their places looking at him with mixed emotions in their eyes. Lucius sat in confused shock in his seat, seemingly lost in his thoughts. Harry's parents were looking at him with strange emotions flickering in their eyes. They were looking at him as if he were a stranger they were seeing for the first time.
He tore his eyes away from them. He couldn't bear to see them looking at him like that. It shouldn't hurt.
'It's not like I've never seen it before'.
With that thought in his mind, he turned and followed the path that Draco had taken out of the room.
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Harry wound his way through the myriad of corridors that crisscrossed throughout the castle. Slipping into the dungeons, he twisted his way towards the Slytherin dormitories. Just like with the other three houses, the prefect rooms could be accessed from outside the common rooms. The prefect rooms had two points of access. One from the dormitories, and another in a separate corridor, behind the one that lead towards the commons. It was through this corridor that Harry found himself walking through now. It was a route that he knew as well as the destination towards the Gryffindor commons, so many times had he walked it.Standing outside a portrait of a giant green and silver snake, Harry closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He knew he had to compose himself. He had to be the strength that Draco needed during this time, when the baby was taking all of the delicate boy's strength. Opening his eyes, he whispered the password.The portrait opened with a gentle whoosh. Upon stepping inside, the first thing that Harry noticed was the heavy humidity. He frowned and walked towards the dead fire place. He lifted his hand towards it and created a roaring fire. Satisfied with the room's warmth the Gryffindor moved towards the bedroom door. Upon reaching the wooden door, the sound emitting from the room made him freeze in his tracks. Heart wrenching sobs could be heard from the room. The sounds made his heart ache, and for the first time that night, tears began to fall down his cheeks. He leaned his forehead against the closed door for a moment, and just let the silent tears ran their course. His heart needed this release.
He didn't know what he was feeling any more, so jumbled were his emotions. He felt guilty for what Draco was going through, and what he had destroyed in the other boy's life. He felt angry at his own parents' actions. Then there was that small feeling mixed with something else that he just couldn't face right now.
It was envy.
In that room, he had seen in Lucius and Narcissa's eyes just how much their son meant to them. Beyond their shock, beyond their anger, beyond their bitterness and hurt, he saw fear. Fear for what their son would now have to face, if the war torn wizarding world ever found out about this. Draco's parents loved him with all that was in them for loving. In that, there was no denying. It was this knowledge that caused another emotion to mix with Harry's envy. An emotion that he was too scared to acknowledge.
It was hate.
In that dark part of his heart, he hated Draco for what he had. The love of his parents. For Draco's parents their bitter words were a mask that hid their worry for their son, and they were hurt for having been lied to. But for Harry, his parents were worried about his loyalty and about the damaging of their family's reputation.
Harry bit his lip at the thought, until blood started to ooze from a wound he opened. He used the pain from the wound as an awakening, to pull him away from those thoughts. He had to focus his thoughts away from his problems with his family. He couldn't let his bitterness towards his parents tarnish the love that he and Draco had. Licking the blood from his lip he finally opened the bedroom door.
The sight that met him caused all his earlier dark thoughts to disappear, and once again his heart clenched.
Draco lay curled up in a tight ball, sobs shaking his small frame. Seeing Draco like this shook Harry to the very core of his soul. He had seen the boy at his darkest and in moments of sadness, lost, fear and hopelessness. He had thought he had seen Draco at his darkest moment, but never had he seen him like this.
When they had first gotten together, Narcissa had been going through a very bad illness. She had almost died. He had seen Draco through that dark time and seen him through many smaller moments that hit the boy as the challenges of growing up became too much. Yet even through all of that, that fire in Draco's spirit that seemed to shine from his very soul and reflected in his dazzling eyes was still there. That strength and defiance that marked Draco's character was his constant companion. And Harry could never forget that confidence that would make Draco shine like a star when he walked into a room. It was these qualities that drew people to the small blond boy. In appearance, he was graceful, elegant, and almost feminine. One could mistake him for being fragile, but Harry had seen bigger and braver men tremble under the delicate boy's stare, had seen many bend at the mere presence that the boy emitted. And it was in those moments that Harry was reminded that this petite boy was the reigning Prince of Slytherin. The Serpent Lord himself.
Yet now there was not a trace of any of that in Draco.
Harry sighed and walked slowly towards the bed were Draco lay. He dropped down beside the boy and took him in his arms. Draco's light weight moved easily towards him. The Slytherin looked up and Harry was met with the tear stained eyes of this lover. Instead of the silver-grey eyes that always mesmerized him, he was gazing into dirty grey. For a moment they just stared at each other, reading each others emotions in the others eyes. Then Harry leaned forward and brushed his lips against the slightly parted and wounded lips of his lover. He saw Draco close his eyes and savor the brief feeling of closeness that the innocent touch brought. Then, opening his eyes, Draco ran his eyes over his boyfriend's face and frowned at Harry's wounded lip. A delicate hand raised up to brush Harry's injured lip and Draco gazed up at Harry, a silent question shimmering in his eyes.
Harry just gave a soft smile and leaned over to kiss those rosy lips that he loved so much. He shook his head in the kiss, a silent answer against the other boy's worry. Draco gave a frustrated sigh, but didn't move his lips from their slight contact. Harry leaned closer and finally deepened the kiss. Draco arched his frame towards his lover and a soft moan escaped from him. Breaking the kiss, Harry leaned his forehead against Draco's, and looked deep into his eyes.
"I love you."
The words seemed to have been more sighed then spoken as they were uttered directly into Draco's mouth. The gentle movement of Harry's lips against Draco's seeming to be the only indication that those words were even said and not imagined.
For the rest of the night no more words were spoken. Their actions speaking louder then words. For the rest of the night they showed each other that they were not alone. That they were wanted. That they were needed.
Authors Note:
I clicked on my stats button and I thought I was logged on to the wrong account! Cause I can't believe how many people are actually reading this. When I was first writing this I told my self I'd be happy with at the most 10 reviews, but…well you guys are just the best!
This chapter is very important and I have to admit was harder to write then I thought. I'm sorry if you guys think that Harry is out of character, but I'll tell you this I have always been fascinated with the fact that Harry was suppose to be a Slytherin.
I know this chapter may be strange as well as the Harry in it, but I wrote this as a glimpse into the very bottom of Harry's being. As human beings we all have dark thoughts and desires, so with Harry I opened for you the door to that part of his being, that for most people are shut very tight.
Here are the responses to all your much appreciated reviews people. I tried to answer and comment on things the best I could, but I have this whole story planed out, including personalities, so you will just have to see. If you think someone is out of character tell me and I'll tell you what lead to them being like that.
Many commented about Lily. Where here she is:
Don't forget that she is a muggle-born. Lily has fought and seen two wars that are against her "kind" so to say. She would be wary of pureblood wizards that have been known to fight for the very cause that is destroying her "kind". Even though these wizards may have been proven innocent, there is still some type of underlining suspicion that people have. These are war torn days. Remember what Hagrid said to Harry in the first book, when he told him about what it was like when Voldemort was first in power. The Suspicion, the lack of trust in their fellows. Suspicion is the way things are, caution is how you survive.
Lily's family has also been betrayed by Wormtail. They became wary of betrayal when he was found out. If a friend can betray them then what of an enemy, even if they are fighting for your side of not. Lily is a lot more hardened in my story, as you will see.
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NayNymic—hehe…well you got it dead on. Here is Harry telling those idiots off. And with Harry's words they have gotten what's coming to them. Imagine your a parent and beings said these things too. All I can say is ouch.
Sowen—You really think I write heart-wrenching stuff well? Well thank you. I appreciate you saying that. I always worry that that I get that wrong. Writing angst is draining to the system. This chapter is even more angst then the other one. Thanks for the complement. I just love you for it!
Slytherin Bitch 4 ever—Yeah I know Draco is getting slapped around a lot. That chapter was actually the blending of two posts so I didn't notice. The first slap was a plot device to get the baby's existence revealed and to bring more of this James's personality to shine through. As for the next slap well I tried really hard to make sure that Narcissa's reaction was very real and I figured that mother's in this situation always react with some sort of "slut" insult and a slap. I've seen it before. And for harm coming to the baby…well your very sharp for getting that as I've only started to clue into it now. I will tell you guys this now. This pregnancy is the center of this story. It is what will become because of the existence of this child that is the stories underlining journey.
eminem4eva—I'm sorry this post is a little late, but hopefully it is good enough for your taste.
Tygrressatheart—Hey I did make them really close-minded didn't I? To be honest in my heart Lily and James would always be the loving and perfect parents that cannon Harry dreams that they are. But for this story I took the clues on who they are, combined it with how they would turn out if they lived in this story's world, and created them as you see then here. In Snape's pensive we saw an evil streak in James and a fire of defiance in Lily. And Lily isn't horrible, she is just well…you'll see.
Isis-mystic—Thank you for reading this and I'm glad you thing it's great. Your much appreciated.
Lady Laffs-a-Lot—Yeah I made sure to make that chapter long to make up for 'Tears of a Dragon'. That's actually one of my favourite chapters, but it's damn short. You're in a play? Wow that sounds great. I love the arts of any kind. Good luck to you.
HP Girl—Yeah family feuds are nasty aren't they. Running away to America? Well I would certainly love that, but as for Harry and Draco…well we'll just have to see where the road takes them.
Pirate Bitch nut—"This is fucking awesome!" Are you serious? Do you really mean that? Thanks! You express things like I do. I have a tendency to punctuate my speak with such vulgarity as well, much like Lucius in my story. Your great as well. Thanks for the high praises.
Psychotic Pen—You put me on favourites list! Thank you! I never thought anyone would do that! I love you so much!
drama-queen8—Oh god there really will be a lot of tears. Yeah Draco is really the one taking most of the blows and he will later on too. He will seem to take it harder then Harry, as this much pain and resentment from the people who are suppose to love him, no matter what, is new to him. In many ways because Draco was raised in a some what sheltered and loving environment, he is some what naive when it comes to things like love. And add that painful awakening with the hormones that comes with been pregnant, and you got yourself a rain of tears.
Yaoi Angel—You've read this over seven times? Wow that's amazing! I can't believe you like this so much. Thanks for saying you like my writing style. I never posted fanfics before because I was scared I wasn't a good enough writer. Thank you for giving me some confidence. Glad you like Draco-torture, because your going to need to, as you read along. smirks
Freddysgurl8904—Yeah I know I'm hating their parents very much at the moment too. As for thinking their mothers would except them? Well when I wrote this I though "how would a mother of a teenage child react, if their young child is having a baby, with someone you think, will take them down a bad path". So as much as it pained me to write it, I wrote it like that.
And also thank you to the people who put me on authors alert and favourites. You all make me happy to know that I am not wasting my time writing this.