Title: You and I
Author: Mage
Rating: R
CHAPTER SIX: The Mistakes We've MadeAn eternity, doused in silence, seemed to pass in the room after the parting of the Potter heir. The atmosphere was heavy, tension thick with the weight of emotion. The five remaining occupants in the room stood frozen in their places, lost in the labyrinth of their own thoughts.
Albus Dumbledore let his somber gaze settle on the four other people. He had seen these four through their youth and had help shape them into adulthood. As every child that had walked through the halls of Hogwarts, these four were in his heart — very much his children; and like a father watching their children suffer he felt his heart break for them.
Albus knew, with a deep understanding brought about by the weight of experience, the hardship of parenthood. He understood that there was no greater or harder task that could ever be bestowed upon a person than that of being a parent.
His wandering eyes settled on the figures of James and Lily Potter. Albus was not blind to the mistakes that, as parents, these people had made, having watched them these many years. Yet he could not help but feel for them. These two had been through so much, their eyes holding the weight of one who had seen more then they should have. A whisper of shame weeded its way into his heart, as deep inside he felt that the weight of their past and present was no excuse for the weight of their mistakes. A part of him that he tried to ignore felt that James and Lily deserved Harry's bitterness.
A muffled sound brought Albus's attention from the Potters to the Malfoy couple. The deep silence in the room had finally been shattered by Narcissa, who could no longer hold back her sobs. She fell into Lucius' comforting embrace, her tears soaking her husband's dark robes. Looking at Lucius and Narcissa, he no longer felt ashamed for feeling such a thing about James and Lily.
There were others who had lived through just as much death and darkness as Lily and James. The Malfoys having been one of them. These two were also marked with the pain of experience, had lived through lives that others would not have had the strength to bear even in their nightmares, and had waked down paths that many would rather have given their soul than to have to tread. Yet even through all that, they still had a family others would give their very lives to experience for just a moment.
With that knowledge, he let his heart cheer Harry for his words. Words that he knew were inspired by the acts of these two former Gryffindors. These two had made a mistake in a part of their life that they should never have overlooked. He knew that Harry's words had been justified, and a darker part of him felt that it was not nearly enough.
Albus shook his head sadly in an effort to clear his mind of the regret he felt. The past was the past. Nothing could change it.
With a sigh, Albus spoke.
"Please, I implore you to understand this from Harry and Draco's point of view. Those two truly love one another."
James head whipped up and he glared at the headmaster.
"Love? How can you call what they have, love? They are just children. They do not even know what real love is."
"Passion is not limited to age, James. Do you not remember being young once and being caught in its web?"
"Love isn't passion, and passion isn't love."
"Isn't it, James? Passion is just love at its rawest quality."
James looked at Albus in exasperation.
"Why are you pushing this? Why are you siding with them?"
"Don't you remember how desperate love could be at that age? Being sixteen and in love has never been easy."
"That's my point. They are sixteen. They are too young to distinguish love from lust."
"James, you can not give love any limits; whether by age, by gender or by culture. Love is love and can never be changed. Just because you think that two people can not experience love together and you give an empty reason why, does not mean that you are right. You do not know their hearts, James."
"And neither do you," James retorted fiercely.
"Maybe. But I have seen them. As you have seen only moments before. Can you honestly look with unbiased eyes at those two and still not see the love that is clearly there?"
James just glared. "You need to jump off the rainbow old man and take off those rose-tinted glasses."
Albus chose not to respond to James statement. He knew James, knew that the man could not be pushed or he would only believe it more. James was James. Stubborn and headstrong. A man abundant with the qualities that marked a truly great leader. Courageous, honorable, strong, intelligent. Yet while he was blessed with the strengths of leaders, he was also cursed with their weaknesses. Like many great leaders, his short-coming was his short-sightedness. He saw one view and refused to see another. James was the kind of man who could lead an empire to greatness, and yet not keep them there.
James continued to glare at Albus then finally exasperated by his silence he slammed his open palm on the old mans desk.
"You are the headmaster of a school. Teen pregnancy should not be condoned. It will only give teenagers the sign that it is all right when it isn't. They are just kids. Children bearing children. Being responsible for a life should not be undertaken by kids who can not even be responsible enough for their own."
For a moment Albus just looked at James, his sharp eyes gazing at him, unflinching.
"James. From what I have seen —and trust me, in my many years I have seen much—I know that maturity is not defined by age. Maturity is not the product of growing older, but that of growing wiser."
His blue orbs pierced into James' own defiant eyes.
"I have known people who, even with all their years and experiences, have failed when it comes to raising another life. Raising a child is up to the person. Your age has nothing to do with it."
A silence descended the room as the younger adults pondered those words.
"What are we going to do about this pregnancy?"
Lucius' head whipped up as he heard Lily's words.
"What do you mean 'we'?" he glared. "Since when have you been part of this?"
"Since that child your boy is carrying is my grandson."
"It wasn't too long ago that your husband was denying this baby was your son's," Lucius spat.
"It is better to be safe then sorry," James snarled.
Lucius turned to James at his words. The two men just glared at each other for a few moments until an exasperated Dumbledore broke them apart once more.
"Gentlemen, please! This foolishness is unfit for the Lords of the Potter and Malfoy houses. You are wizarding nobility. Please act like it!"
James and Lucius turned to the headmaster, blinking at him in shock.
Never had they seen Dumbledore loose his cool. Not even when he was faced with unruly children. Dumbledore's hard stare caused them to squirm. In that glance, they were reminded just who was the most powerful wizard alive. The only wizard that could make Voldemort himself quake in fear.
"Thank you for complying, gentlemen. Now, without your pointless bickering, a decision about these events can be found."
Lily glared at the two in annoyance. "The baby. What are we going to do about it?"
Narcissa turned to Lucius. "I say we take Draco away from here. To France. To one of Malfoy estates there."
Lucius opened his mouth to respond, but was cut of by a hard voice. "No"
Albus could not let them take Draco away from here, could not let them destroy what those two young men had found, could not let them rob them of their happiness any further. He owed Harry at least that much. Albus still felt guilty for the life that he felt Harry should have had. The life that could have been had Albus not dragged his parents into the war as key members in the Order of the Phoenix. A life that could still have been if he had spoken to Lily and James instead of standing on the side lines and watching them retreat further away from their only son.
"You may not take Draco away from here," Dumbledore again spoke, voice as hard as steel.
Narcissa looked at him, shocked. "And why not? He is our son."
"Your son is very frail, Narcissa. You know the state of his health. Draco is not the kind of young man who possesses the ideal heath that would be considered safe for a pregnancy. Add to his heath his youth, and the results may not be good if this whole thing is taken lightly. No strain can come to him during this pregnancy or else it may prove fatal to him and the baby."
"That is another reason why we should move him."
"Narcissa, I know you are a smart woman. A Ravenclaw to the core, so I know you saw how Harry and Draco are very much in love. How do you think Draco will react when you tear them apart? It will only provide unnecessary stress for him. Any sort of strain is very dangerous at this time. Draco is only about a month into the pregnancy. The risk factor is still high."
"I will not leave my son here," Narcissa glared. "For goodness sake, it is this school's lack of care that has resulted into this mess. They were making drugs in the common rooms, Albus! You heard what Draco said!"
"Draco would be safer here with Harry."
"Well, if that boy is what he needs then we will bring the brat with him."
Before Narcissa could answer, Lucius spoke. "Narcissa, this is probably for the best. Draco will receive care here from someone that is very familiar with his health history."
"Lucius, we can send for Doctor Miles. He has been treating Draco for years!"
"Doctor Miles was Draco's doctor when he was a boy. A boy he is no longer." Lucius said, with the heavy voice of a man who had just realized that he can not hold onto his children forever.
"Keep him here, Narcissa. We can use this time to make arrangements and decide on what to do. He will be safer here during the earlier stages of pregnancy."
Narcissa looked like she was about to cry. "No matter how disappointed I am at Draco for getting himself into this mess, I must be with him during this time."
Lucius gave her a sad smile and brushed his hand over her soft cheek. "I think right now sweetheart, we need to give Draco space. We shall come back after the first trimester is over."
"He is just a boy, Lucius."
"He is our son. He is strong."
Narcissa sniffed and retreated into Lucius' embrace. "Okay. If that is what you want to do, then I agree. I trust you."
Dumbledore smiled at Narcissa and Lucius.
"You are making the right decision. I promise you. Your son will be safe."
He then turned to James and Lily.
"What of the two of you? You will leave the boys be, as they are, and come back to make a decision in a couple of months?"
James eyes narrowed. "I do not know about this. Leaving Harry here with the Malfoy boy."
Lily took James hand. "It is probably for the best darling," she told him. "The child growing within the young Malfoy is a Potter, too. That child is Harry's child. His first child. Regardless of who the other parent is, that child is our grandchild."
"Lily… "
James was silent for a couple of moments. Until finally, without looking at any of the other occupants in the room, he nodded his consent.
"Very well. Would any of you like to go and see your children, and say goodbye?"
Lily looked at James and then shook her head. "No. Perhaps that is not such a good idea after everything that just happened."
Narcissa sniffed and shook her head. Her voice muffled as her face was still hidden within the folds of her husband's robes.
"I can't face Draco right now Lucius. Let's just leave a message that we are leaving."
"All right Narcissa. It is probably for the best."
"Very well. I shall send a message to each of your children tomorrow that you have left Hogwarts."
--------------------------------------------------
James and Lily were walking through the empty halls of Hogwarts, eager to escape from the confines of its walls and the events that had happened within. Not a soul could be seen walking through the corridors, not a child could be seen sneaking out in search for the kitchens, not a teacher could be seen patrolling, so late was it in the night.Lily's voice was echoing through the halls as she voiced her worries about her son. Harry's words to Narcissa, after young Draco had left the office, stuck in her mind. A part of her could not help but not ignore the reality that part of those words may have been directed at her. She wasn't sure, and yet the look in those emerald orbs, as he gazed into her eyes as he said the last hurtful words, haunted her.
I know I will not make the mistake with my son that you have all made with us. I will not make the mistake of being a failure of a parent
His wordskept echoing in her mind.
To her husband, she voiced these thoughts. Her husband just kept walking, a mask of indifference on his face.
"Don't worry about it, Lily. He is just acting up."
"James-"
"Lily, just don't."
"He was looking at us as he said those words James! He was looking at us as he said he was not going to make the mistake that had already been made. He was not going to make the mistake of being a failure of a parent."
"Look, Lily. Don't let the words of our teenage son get to you. You know what teenagers are like. They are always playing the 'I'm a victim of the world' act. They expect you to be there whenever they need you, but just push you away when they don't want you there."
"James, I don't think-"
"On top of all that," James said, raising his voice to drown out his wife. "Our son has obviously been brainwashed by the Malfoy boy. Just forget about it, Lily."
James turned around and proceeded to walk away. For a moment, Lily just stood where he had left her, watching his back as his form walked on, his footsteps never faltering, his head never turning to see whether his wife had followed.
Additional declaimer:
These quotes were used either directly or as an inspiration for lines in the chapter.
"Love isn't passion, and passion isn't love."
-- by unknown
'Maturity isn't a product of growing older; it's a product of growing wiser'
-- by Ann Landers
'…deep in her heart she knew that love was fate and could never be changed'
-- Rouge in the battle, by Jynx
"That emotion [love] knows no age Virgina."
-- Serpent's Bride, by reiko naoe
Authors Note:
Yes I'm mean, I'm evil and I'm horrible for making you guys wait so long for this. I'm really sorry for the lateness and I know you all hate me for it, but university deadlines are a killer.
Thanks to my incredible beta reader Allesa this whole story has been beta read from this chapter to the ones that come before it. I have been overloading her with work and she has been nothing but brilliant in her response. She works so fast!
--------------------------------------------------
Sheree – Thanks for dampening my fear on using OC on my characters. I agree with you Harry is a bit of a wimp in a lot of stories. But I can never see him as that. Harry has proven himself in the cannon books as possessing a strong character. As for Draco I can never forget how he ran way during the Forbidden Forest scene in the first book. I'm not making Draco truly weak, but I'm making him human.
RosieR – Rosie who ever you are I have to thank you. Please keep on reading and know that your words were much appreciated.
drama-queen8 – It'll be raining tears! You know I never meant to make this story so angsty. In fact when I was thinking it up in my head I thought it was too fluffy. But when I wrote it down this was the result. Recently I took a quiz that told you what kind of writer you are and I got angst. Damn even internet quizes are directing me towards that path. But I promise there will be joy in this as well. :D
Sowen – You really think I'm a brilliant writer?! Wow thanks! I admit I'm a bit insecure about my writing. Thanks for saying I have a great incite on people. When I write characters I like to give them depth. They will have their weaknesses and they will have their strength. When I write I always think 'will people really react to something like that, will people really say or feel that'. I put a lot of thinking time into getting into their heads. Thinking time that I should be listening to my lecturer ;). So thank you. I know now that it was time well spent.
Oracale – Thank you! I think your awesome too for reviewing.
eminem4eva – Do you still don't care that this post is late? =D I hate making you readers wait. As a reader myself I know how frustrating that can be. Thanks for saying that it was perfect I was worried about how that chapter would be taken. And don't worry I'll continue till the end.
Harryeta – Thanks for saying that! I had wanted to take a different approach on the HP characters and the H/D relationship. Your review just told me I had succeeded! Hay! Thanks for reading even if it's a little too angsty for you. Much appreciated. And don't worry about your English. It's good. I'm not from an English speaking background myself.
fowler Nsow – Thank you! As for hoping the parents will eventually understand? Well they will do what they do.. hehe.. I'm not going to give a clue as to what they will do or whether they will understand. Only time will tell.
Tygrressatheart – You're right about he Malfoy's coming around sooner then the Potter's. They are truly loving parents. Yeah I know...poor Harry and Draco. I feel bad about making them go through this, but for the sake of the plot so be it. As for getting the bold to work on FF…well I always just save my posts on a html file and upload it on FF. The bold miraculously stays. But I think you can easily do bold now right? What with these new upgrades that FF is going through.
Lady Laffs-a-Lot – Thanks! I don't like Harry when he is perfect either. I think that Harry is just human and like all human's he will have his flaws. I hate stereotypes. Just because Harry is a Gryffindor does not mean that he is all pure and perfect. As you may see I try to stay away from stereotypes.
Psychotic Pen – Are you serious about this story being one of your faves? Thanks that mean heaps to me! Sorry this post is so late…
Hitome –Another reviewer who just indicated that I had accomplished my goal. Making a H/D Mpreg story as unique as possible. Thanks for your words. =D
Crimson – For some reason that only FF knows I only got your review now. I wish I had gotten it earlier. I wasn't sure whether you spell it Lily or Lilly, and to be honest I was to lazy to check.
Stardust – Amazing you say? Well your amazing for reading it. I'm glad you like how I portrayed Harry and Draco. I feel bad for them too. I hurt for them actually. To write them I have to put myself in their heads to understand how they will act and respond to things. And trust me that is really tiring.
a-yolanda13 – Thanks! I made this AU because I love the "What if?" concept. I have always been fascinated with the impact of Lily and James death. I wanted to explore how Harry's life would be like with them there. In this I wanted to expresses that if Lily and James were alive it does not mean they would have been the perfect parents. It could be quiet the contrary. With Lily and James I tried to break another stereotype.
PixieStar1 – Wow great response! Thank you so much! I wanted a fic as original as possible and this is what I got. With Lily and Narcissa I wanted to make them different. This story is my experiment. An experimental plot line and experimental character takes. Thank you for volunteering to be my beta reader, but sorry that stop has now been taken. I appreciate it though and thanks for saying that this fic has potential.
Julianna5 – Thanks for saying that this is a wonderful story. Fundamentally this is a love story. But with love their is also the sadness. It is unavoidable. Nothing is perfect and I wanted to portray that. Thanks for saying I blended love and sadness together well!
Isis-mystic – hehe..yeah I loved that too. I really wanted to fit a scene where Harry expresses his love for Draco. And Narcissa was being a bitch so I made Harry yell at her. She needed someone to tell her off!
SilverDragon161 – LoL. THANK YOU! Are you sure you're talking about my story still? Hehe..I love your review. You actually sound like a writer. I tried to express the beauty of Harry and Draco's love in this. I wanted to make the story beautiful. Thanks for saying it is.
Sheree – Don't worry Shree you did review my story before. Unless that was someone else going by the same name. You got how I see and want to portray Harry in this story down pat! Don't worry you can make your reviews as long as you want. Only stop when it feel right. Keep ranting about how you see Harry. It shows me that people can actually see the layers in his character that I tried to express and my thinking has not gone to waste. I like leaving reviews as long as your too.