Title: You and I

Author: Mage

Rating: R

Dedication:

To Allesa

My beta reader.

For her patience, encouragement and lighting fast work.

And for sharing her Slytherin obsession.

Inspiration:

This was inspired by the song written for teenagers by teenagers.

"Underneath this armour… the warrior is a child."

CHAPTER EIGHT: My Armour

It had been a week since the confrontation at the office, a week since their parents had found out about the baby, a week since their physical encounter in the Slytherin's room.

A week since he had last spoken to Draco.

Harry had tried everything he could think of to speak to Draco, yet when he managed to catch him in those rare moments when he was alone in the halls, all he did was walk away when he saw Harry coming. Harry just couldn't understand what in Merlin's name was going on with him. He couldn't understand why he was avoiding him, why he refused to speak to him. Was it something he did? Was it something he said? He just didn't know any more.

Draco seemed to be trying, with as much effort as Harry was using to speak to Draco, to avoid him in return. As a result, classes had been a nightmare. He had had double potions with the Slytherins. Typical of a normal lesson with Snape, it had been a episode of sheer and utter humiliation that only the greasy slimy potions master could bring to Harry's life. To make it worse, Draco had not been there to kiss it better in the end.

Double potions, like all the years before, had been the last class of the day. Harry had waited in their normal spot after potions, where they would always meet after these lessons. In that place, Draco would help to piece together Harry's shattered ego. At first it had just been an excuse to snog, but as time passed and their relationship grew, it was in these little meetings that they would catch up with each other. Their relationship had always been hidden from everyone. It wasn't until a couple of months back that their own friends even knew about them. So it was through these little secret moments that they would talk to each other, support each, and just be together. It was during these private moments that they truly grew close; emotionally and physically.

Harry had waited until dinner for Draco.

Frustrated, Harry bolted up into a sitting position and buried his face in his hands. Only Draco could ever do this to him.

Glancing out of the dorm windows, he realized that dawn was just breaking. He sighed, knowing that there was no point in trying to get any more sleep. Rising, he pattered over to his trunk and pulled out a shimmering silver cloak. He whirled the cloak around him and in an instant he vanished from view.

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Harry was walking through the darkened corridors of Hogwarts, letting his feet be his guide. His mind was in no state to do so, so far away were his thoughts. Suddenly he ceased his mindless wandering, and looked up at the place where his feet had taken him. He gave a small groan as he realized where he had ended up. It seemed that a part of his mind was still very much in control, as he found himself in the one place his heart had wanted to avoid. His and Draco's meeting place.

A part of him wanted to run back to the safety of Gryffindor tower and forget that his body had betrayed him by taking him to this place. Their place. Even his subconscious sought out Draco, so ingrained in his being the other boy was. An inkling of shame weeded its way to his heart. He felt somehow weak in the realization that the other boy made up so much of him. He felt vulnerable in the knowledge that someone could hold so much control over his very being. He wanted to just climb up the stairs that lay before him, to the place high in their tower, where he and Draco used to just be together. The part of him that felt cold and empty, with the knowledge that his lover had shut him out, wanted to be filled with the warmth of memory that the walls of the tower held. He wanted to go up there, he wanted to be there, but his pride would not let him. That part of him that was a remainder of the person he had been, before Draco, would not let him. The boy that had felt abandoned by his parents, the young man that would tell himself he didn't need anyone, the person who swore that he would never be hurt again, just couldn't climb those stairs. He thought that somehow he would be betraying his pride, which seemed to be all the armour he had at this moment.

His pride kept him rooted to the spot, accompanied by the ghost of indecision. As he stood there for what seemed like many life times, a whisper of a memory from a long ago past swept through his mind. He saw a beautiful young girl with hair like the tongues of flame and the eyes of someone that seemed far too old for all her vision of youth. Those eyes that were looking at him with knowledge and experience.

"If you can not risk your pride for him, Harry, then you are not worthy of the gift of love that you two may later share."

Harry closed his eyes against the memory. It had been that girl that had given him the strength to peruse Draco those years ago; it had been she that had told him to vanquish his pride, for all it did was paralyze him. It was this girl and the knowledge that she had bestowed that later lead to so much happiness. And it was within this memory that he found the strength to fight his pride and follow that reflex that sought to fill that missing part of him.

He knew it was better to just walk away, he was only torturing himself with the memories that this place held. Yet he could no more walk away then he could stop his heart from beating. As if he was possessed by a force greater then himself, he found himself climbing the stairs of North-East Tower, his body moving easily towards a higher destination, while his heart screamed for him to stop.

As he reached the highest room in the tower, his eyes instantly drew to the place that they had first made love, above conjured silken sheets on the polished wooden floors. He quickly closed his mind to the flash of memory and the images that came with it.

Hurriedly he walked past the spot and made a beeline to the creaky metal stairs that lead up to the highest reach of this disused tower. As he stepped out into the open, he closed his eyes against the brightness of the coming dawn, and just let the cool wind wash over him, ruffling his fine dark hair. Then he heard something that caused his eyes to snap open. A ragged intake of breath had sounded above the whistling of the wind. Sweeping his gaze around the tower, he discovered its source. There, perched above the low parapet that lined the edges of the tower's rim, was the one source of all his recent anguish.

Draco.

The silvery haired Slytherin had obviously not heard him coming up, as he was still facing towards the lake side view. Harry stood there and watched him for a moment, drinking in the vision that he made. To long had he been denied these kinds of moments, where the world itself seemed to stop and he could just loose himself in the moment where only he and Draco existed. But, like all moments, it could not last forever. This was his chance to face Draco, figure out what was wrong with him, and demand an answer to the question of where it was they stood.

Taking a step towards where the silvery god sat, he spoke.

"Draco."

Harry internally winced at the sound of his voice. He had wanted his voice to be strong and cool, not holding a single indication of the storm of emotions that he felt inside. Yet as the name left his lips, the yearning that echoed in his voice could be heard as clear as day. The word a mere breath in the air.

Draco turned towards him. "Harry..."

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The word seemed to slip from his mouth like a whispered wish. Draco's head had snapped up at the sound of his name. His bright silver eyes had widened at the sight of the person that stood by the entrance.

What is he doing here? He is not supposed to be here?

Panicking Draco stood and moved to leave, but as he passed Harry, he felt a warm hand circle around his upper arm. Slowly, against his will, he found himself being turned around to face the owner of that warm hand. The still rational part of his mind told him to struggle and tear himself out of this hold, but as soon as that hand held him, he felt all control of his body leave him.

"Draco, why are you doing this? Why do you keep walking away from me?"

Draco didn't answer, refused to hear the hurt in that voice, refused to look up to meet the pain he knew was shining in those emerald eyes. Gathering his will, he kept his eyes diverted to the ground. His body had forsaken him, but he still had control of his sight.

Yet that stubborn thought lost its strength as he felt gentle fingers brush against his chin and lifted his face up. And there was his undoing, the emerald eyes whose power could bend his very will.

"Look at me when I talk to you, Draco. And answer my question. Don't you think I at least deserve that much?"

Draco felt anger gather within him and he tore himself out of Harry's hold, moving back a few steps.

"And what do I deserve Harry?! What am I worth?!" he asked fiercely.

Harry looked confused. "What are you talking about, Draco?"

Draco marched close to Harry and looked fiercely up at him.

"I'm not something to be accepted when I'm exactly as you want and then just be discarded when I'm no longer who you want me to be."

"Draco, what is wrong with you. What in the world do you mean?" Harry asked desperately, grabbing hold of Draco's upper arm.

"No! Don't touch me." Draco screamed, tearing his arm away from Harry's hold.

"Draco, please. What is going on? Talk to me. You know I love you. I'll be here for you."

Harry pleaded with Draco to hear him, desperation and confusion bringing tears to gloss over his eyes.

Draco just shook his head and stumbled back away from him.

"Draco, I love you. What's wrong? Don't you love me any more?"

Draco just let out a sob and fell on his knees on the stone floor; tears were leaking out of his tightly clutched eyes. Instinctively, Harry moved towards him, holding his small form with his arms. At first, Draco weakly resisted, until finally he just collapsed again Harry's hold, his only resistance the weak slamming of his fist against Harry's chest.

"You don't love me. Love isn't real. Love isn't real." He repeated hysterically as he sobbed in Harry's arms.

Harry merely held him, gently rocking him in an effort to calm. Then, as Draco seemed to lose all his energy and just tiredly lean against him, Harry lifted his hand to Draco's chin and gently lifted his head up to face him.

"Love…"

Draco shook his head. "No, no love. Love is not real." He whispered weakly.

"Draco, of course it's real. Nothing in this world can ever be more real."

Draco just sniffed and closed his eyes, resting his head against Harry's chest.

"People pretend that they love you and will never leave you, but they do. They leave…without even saying goodbye."

Harry's brow frowned as he contemplated the blonds words. Then his eyes widened as realization shone in them. His message from Dumbledore. Draco must have gotten one too. "Draco, your parents…?"

"They left without saying goodbye. They said they would be there for me no matter what. They said that love was being there." he whispered. "They lied."

"Draco, they do love you."

Draco's head finally snapped up and he looked at Harry. "If they love me then why did they leave like that?"

"Draco…"

"No! They said it there at the meeting. Dad said he didn't love me. They hate me, Harry! They hate me. My family hates me…"

"But, Draco, I don't hate you. I love you. I'll be here no matter what."

Draco just shook his head, looking lost and anguished.

"No. That is what they said. They said that and they lied. You'll just leave me too."

"I'll never leave you," he said with such certainty that Draco felt the strength of the emotion shake through his very being. Yet he could not bring himself to acknowledge it.

He felt too lost and insecure. The people he had always thought to be there weren't. It hurt too much, and he didn't think that he could take another beating. Distance now would mean less pain later.

"Yes, you will. There is no such thing as certainty. All things die eventually." Draco told him.

"So, what, you think that by distancing yourself from me, nothing can hurt you any more?" Harry said fiercely.

Draco flinched at Harry's fierce tone and narrowed eyes.

"You're a hypocrite, Draco. When we first got together I thought the same way. That distance meant that nothing can hurt me any more. And then you come along, and you told me that that wasn't the way, that I had to open myself up to you. And I did!"

"Harry, please…" Draco sobbed.

"I gave everything to you, Draco. All that I was, and all that I will ever be," Harry continued as if Draco hadn't spoken.

"And look what I get, when the same is called for you to do, you run and leave me in the dust, wondering what the fuck I had done, when it was all you. I thought we were equals, Draco. I thought we were the same."

"Harry we are…"he whispered weakly.

"Then prove it. Talk to me."

"I-I can't!" he yelled in anguish.

"If you can't, and you keep on with this distance, then what are we, Draco? Are you leaving me?"

Draco looked up at him, his eyes shining from the tears that wouldn't stop spilling from his eyes. He wanted to answer Harry, but the truth was, he didn't know the answer. Never in his life had he felt so lost. Never in his life had he felt so confused. He knew he needed Harry. That part of his mind and heart that was not clouded with the insanity of emotions, yelled this truth to him. Yet he couldn't bring himself to tell this boy that he needed him. It had hurt to much when the people that he had relied on his whole life, the people that he needed, treated him the way that they did. When they discarded him when he no longer fit into their estimation. He just wasn't strong. Not like Harry. He just wasn't a Gryffindor.

"You don't even have the courage to decide. You can't even give me an answer. Well, damn you, Draco" Harry bellowed, standing up from his place on the ground and spilling the Slytherin from his arms.

"I love you so much that I could go insane with the emotion and this is all I get."

Harry turned and walked toward the entrance that he had used to get here. Draco just sat on his knees on the cold floor, his open palm laying flat on the stone floor, the only thing keeping him up. He listened to the sound of Harry's boots clicking on the ground. The sound of his boyfriend walking away. The sound of love leaving.

Draco took a deep breath and willed himself not to care. If he could do this now then he didn't have to face hurt later. Harry would only do to him as his parents did. They only loved the person that they wanted him to be and then when time brought about the consequences of change, and he was no longer that person, then the love that they spoke of became nothing but empty words holding empty promises.

I don't need him. I don't need anyone. He thought fiercely. I don't need Harry Potter!!

"Shit, Draco. How do you do this to me?"

Draco had been so focused on convincing himself of his conclusion that he hadn't noticed that the footsteps had stopped, or that the one making that sound had walked back and was now currently standing before his kneeling form.

"I can't walk away from you without getting it through your thick skull how much you mean to me," Harry said.

His voice was strong and fierce, and his eyes shone with an emotion that Draco tried to ignore. Yet his heart knew it all to well, having seen it turned to him when Harry held him close, whispering words that told of the very truth that he had been tiring to deny.

"Draco, I've wanted you the moment I first saw you. And I have loved you since I first understood what love really meant."

Draco looked up at Harry. Whenever he thought that he could live without this boy, he would say something like this and his resolve would crumble and he could fool himself no longer. He could no more live without Harry Potter then he could live without air. This boy was the reason he lived. He was his soul. His heart. His everything.

Draco had stood at the window for hours the morning after they had made love, gathering his courage. And all it took was a look and sweet words from Harry Potter and all he had built was destroyed.

Draco tried to freeze his heart once more, determined to complete the pledge he had made that fateful morning, but when he felt soft lips brush against his own, he knew was destroyed. This felt too good, to right. Their lips melded together, fitting so perfectly. They fit together like this, fit so completely. How can this be wrong? How can he not risk himself for this…this feeling, this perfection, this completion?

Harry lessened the pressure of his lips from Draco's, yet they were still close enough that their lips were pressed against each other in a whisper of a touch.

"I pleaded for this once, and I'll plead for it again," he breathed. "Let me love you, Draco."

Draco felt a shiver run through him as he felt Harry's lips brush against his own lips as the other boy spoke. He knew those words, remembered them being spoken by a fourteen year old boy, pleading with him to give him a chance, asking him (perhaps unconsciously) to risk his heart. Now it was happening again, but this time the nervous fourteen year old boy was gone, and in his place was a profound young man.

"You know, before you, I was so sure of everything. So sure of whom I was and where my life was going. Knew without a shadow of a doubt what I wanted with my life. I thought I had everything. I thought I was truly happy, but then you came along and showed me that you have never truly known happiness until you have known love," Draco whispered back against Harry's lips.

"Is that your way of telling me you love me?" Harry quietly asked.

Draco finally pulled away and opened his eyes. He looked deeply into Harry's eyes and willed him to see what he himself did not have the courage to voice.

"No. I'm just telling you how much."

"Please, Draco, don't ever push me away again."

Author's Note:

Whoops…there are little bits of snappiness there. Now how did that get there. Sorry for that. I couldn't help it. Call me a romantic.

Well since you all asked about Draco so politely and no body had a tantrum (like I would have done if I was in your position) here is a little overview of Draco.

You've all been introduced to the person that Harry is here in this universe and now you will see more of who Draco is. The way I'm writing this (as you have probably noticed) is that I'm leaving them bare. I'm going to show you the very bottom of their being. If I have done my job right, by the end of this fic, you will know Draco and Harry better then they would have know themselves.

In a way Draco's character is a lot more complex then Harry. You have to understand first and forever that Draco was raised in a household where his parents loved him. Yes he understands the prejudices of the world, but when it comes to matters on a more personal level he is some what naïve as the young tend to be. Think of it this way. I'm guessing that most people face the world with a shield to protect themselves from hurt, but within "our own little world" (that consists of our personal lives with those we love) that shield tends to drop. This is the thing with Draco.

Think of a simplified Draco. Think of the Draco that ran screaming from the Forbidden forest, the Draco who jumps to extremes by hating a boy so fiercely for not shaking his hand, and the Draco who believes what he thinks is supreme. Think of these aspects of Draco and add it with the pregnancy hormones.

Now these are just my views people. You don't have to agree, but these are the outlines that I have used. And for the love of God please don't think him evil. He isn't. He is just a teenager that has found himself in a very adult situation that he is finding hard to deal with.

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inumoon3 – Thank you for reading this even though you don't like Draco's position :D. Someone had to be take the pregnant role. I'm tried of Harry doing it. I can never see him as that. Every time I see Harry I see the knight in shinning armour, that at twelve, killed a giant snake with a sword. But with Draco I can still bend my view of him to create this. I don't know what it is about him…maybe it's his pretty hair. Hehe. Sorry I answered your review so late. I just got it.

Sowen – You know it really hurt me to write that chapter. I know Draco is a was a complete idiot in that. I hope this chapter makes up for that little incident. But he's all sorted now. Did you ever doubt Harry persuasion skills? :D Thank you for saying that that chapter was brilliant! I really appreciate the sentiments. I was scared to post that chapter! I'm glad you liked it. I'll admit this only once…I was scared to open my reviews for that chap. Because if I wasn't he author and I was reading that…I would have had a tantrum. :D

NayNymic – Yeah Draco can be a complete jackass when he isn't thinking straight. But I figured that when people are all emotional they have a tendency to make rash decision. Many people don't make their best decisions when they are emotional.

stargirl2004 – Well in this chap and the next you'll realise what's wrong with Draco. No body knows that the two are dating because their families have a long standing rivalry that goes back generations. Mostly these days it just seeps into the whole prejudice thing that are placed on families like the Malfoy's. I actually had a whole section written out to explain this. It was to be part of 'Keeping Distance'. It actually introduces Harry's friends in that, but I hated it. I found it boring and just waffled on, so I took it out. Glad someone is interested enough in the story to read so closely =). I hope this chapter is exciting enough for your taste.

blackunicorn – Draco…well I wish I could just say that he is being a typical guy and just being an ass, but he has his reason. Everything in this fic has a reason for being there. :::point to chapter above::: Well here is Draco's reason. You didn't think I would leave you guys hanging for too long did you? :D As for there parents understanding…well…for that you will have to wait and jump through a lot of obstacles with Harry and Draco.

Lady Laffs-a-Lot – Draco isn't a cold Malfoy. Well at least not to those he cares about. Your probably the one to hit the closest to home with what's wrong with Draco. You were close, but not quiet right.

Romie – Thank you! Someone else who also believes that Gryffindor's have a holier-then-thou attitude and are just as prejudiced as the Slytherin :D. When I started writing this fic I was pissed off at some all too common views. I'm tried of seeing Lily and James portrayed as perfect parents. The reality is they may not have been. Yes it's obvious that they loved their son, but it takes a lot more then love to raise a child. Like care and attention. Yeah James hitting Draco was unforgivable. I agree. When I formed his character for this fic I thought about Snape's memory of him in his pensive. That has always fascinated me. I think what he did to Snape there was quiet unforgivable. Thank you so much for your long review. I loved it!

SailorBaby16 – Thank you.! I'm glad you like my story! It makes me happy :D. Yeah parents reactions can be shocking. I wanted to show that they aren't perfect. You'll find that no character in this fiction is perfect. They will have to be taken as they are even with all their flaws. What will happen with Harry and Draco you ask…well you will have to continue reading to find out :D. I will tell you this, that I have always viewed their characters as very passionate…isn't it only natural that that will also applly to the way they love?

iamtheoneandonly – Thank you so much! Hehe…yeah I know my chapters are pretty short. I try to make them longer, but time is such a valuable thing, and like with everything valuable, it is very rare. I wish I had time to write longer chaps. I'll try.

Galyn – Hi again! It's okay. I understand that you may not always be able to review. Just keep reading and I'll be happy :).

Helena – LoL. As a fanfic reader I understand your frustration. Yes authors can be so evil by leaving you hanging. Now that I'm a writer myself I know why they do it. It's so much fun! ;) :D. Thanks for reading!

someonesgurl – :D. Thank you! Thank you! What's wrong with Draco you ask… you figure 'he was pissed at Harry for his (Draco's) parents reaction'…well not quiet :). Draco's complicated mind is going to start to become clear. Just keep reading Ash, and thank you for bothering with my story.

CrazyForYou – :D. Thanks! I'm glad you love my story so far. I hope you continue to love it. Here's the next chap. Hope it meets you expectations :D.

SilverDragon161 – Now, now, no need for modesty :D. Who wouldn't love your story? As for Draco…well you know him… always jumping to extremes. I can never see Draco sitting down all placid. Add his usual nature with hormones and well…you know what happened.

Moonglaze – "It's the best romance story I've ever read!" quote

:: jaw drops:: Really?!?! Oh I love you!! Thank you for saying that! It made me do a little dance. And considering I don't dance your review has just officially achieved the impossible. Thank you for your kind words and letting me know I'm doing the romance right. Even though I splash it with angst. I have always loved first loves. It's so cute. :D

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Thank you all for your reviews and those who put me on their fave lists. You're the reason I bother to continue this fic and try to make it the best I can. Sorry for making you wait so long. I actually had this chapter finished with 'Keeping distance', but I never post anything until the chapter after is complete. And I'll tell you the chapter after this was really hard to write.

I will always reply to your reviews people. But for some people I tend to get their reviews chapters later. Sorry for that. It's either fault or my stupid computer (which I would like to note seems to hate me). If you don't see a response to your review I'm really sorry, but I'll respond to it when I get it.