Going Through The Motions
Summary: Slightly AU, set during the summer between S5 and S6, a couple of weeks before 'Bargaining'. Spike is now the head of the Summers household, he's trying but Dawn notices there's something wrong.
Disclaimer: Owning nothing, absolutely nothing. I want some pocket lint of my own darn it!
A/N: Just thought I'd look in on how Spike is doing after 'Staying Out Of The Dark'. Story really doesn't have much plot. The voices wouldn't share where they were going with this. There may be more later but I'm not sure, you'll have to ask the head-bopping muse.
Reviews: Okay, I'll admit it, you guys have me addicted to reviews. It's getting to where I'll even welcome flames as long as I know someone is reading my little forays into insanity. Be warned, flames will be used to roast marshmallows, just have to have a really, really long stick to avoid dusting.
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Spike dragged his weary body down the basement steps. He gave some thought to a shower but didn't want to wake any of the sleeping females upstairs by running water. Draping his duster over a chair, he then stripped off the snug t-shirt and black jeans from his body and dropped them into a bloody and dusty heap in the corner. He'd deal with it tomorrow. He doused his head under the faucet in the sink by the clothes washer and scrubbed his face with his hands, drying off on a nearby towel kept for just that purpose. After sliding his long legs into a pair of black sweat pants, no sleeping nude in the Summers house, he stretched his lean body down on the twin bed against the wall. He sighed as his head touched the pillow; it was time to save her again, as he did every night. He allowed the exhaustion to sweep over him and he fell into a sound sleep and dreamed.
Willow called Dawn down for breakfast. Xander would be arriving soon to take the teenager to school. Dawn came into the kitchen and shushed the redheaded witch.
"You'll wake Spike." She hissed. "You know he can hear us in here." The brunette teenager sat down at the table and dug into her pancakes. She looked up as the basement door opened.
The blond vampire shuffled into the room. The girls watched in amusement as the half-asleep creature of the night padded barefoot over to the refrigerator and withdrew a package of blood. He rummaged through the cupboard next to the sink looking for his favorite mug. He emptied the blood into the mug, shoved it into the microwave and pushed the preset button Dawn had programmed so he could heat his blood easily. Spike crossed his arms over his bare chest and leaned against the counter waiting for the microwave to beep. He glared at the grinning girls.
"Do you think you could be just a little louder? I think there may be a couple of vamps I missed on the other side of town who didn't hear you." He grumbled.
Dawn swallowed the last bite of pancake and put her plate in the sink. She went over to her favorite vampire and gave him a big hug that he willingly returned. "I'm sorry, we didn't mean to wake you up." She smiled up at him. "But you're so cute when you're sleepy."
He gave a mock growl at being called cute. "Not cute, Bit. You know I'm evil. The Big Bad." He pressed a kiss on top of her head and released her.
She giggled as she moved away. "Right, Spike, you're pure evil, the Biggest Baddest."
"Isn't it time for school?" He asked as Xander came thru the back door.
"And the ride for said school has arrived." The brunette young man announced. "Hi All. Spike, I have your check." He walked across the kitchen to hand the blond an envelope.
"Thanks, Mate." Spike took it into the living room and put it on the desk, returning just as the microwave beeped.
Spike took his mug from the microwave and took a sip. "Niblet, do you need any money?" He asked.
She shook her head. "Nope, still have some of what you gave me the other day."
"Right then, have a good day at school. Go straight to the Magic Box after. Red, Glenda or I will pick you up." Spike ordered. No one questioned his assumption of parenthood. He was pretty much the only one Dawn obeyed. He could get her to behave as no one else could.
She nodded. "Okay. See you later." With a wave she was out the door. Xander gave a little salute and followed her.
Spike yawned hugely and finished the blood in his mug. Taking it over to the sink, he rinsed it and set it in the drainer. "I'm going back to sleep. It's my day off so you needn't get me up." He told Willow as he moved over to the basement door. At her nod, he went back downstairs and got back into bed. It was hard to go back to sleep. He was having a difficult time being around Willow. He could sense the magic she was dabbling in and it made him uneasy. The feeling that something was going on behind his back was growing stronger each day.
A couple of hours later Spike gave up on trying to sleep. He went up to the kitchen for some more blood. He stretched his senses out to see if any one else was home. He was alone. He let out a small sigh of relief. Moving into the living room he noticed on the VCR clock that it was time for Passions. He'd gotten hooked on the daytime drama while at Giles's house right after he'd gotten chipped. The Scooby gang had decided he was too 'dangerous' to be allowed to roam around freely and had kept him tied to various chairs for quite a time. He gave a little snort at the way things turned out. Now not only was he allowed to roam free, but he was primarily responsible for patrolling and the care of a human teenage girl.
He stretched out on the massively uncomfortable sofa to watch his show. "Really have to buy a new sofa soon." He grumbled.
After the program was over he decided to treat himself to the shower he'd missed the night before. As he went through the upstairs hallway he passed 'her' room. Spike paused at the closed door. He put one hand on the knob and flattened his other hand on the panel. He tried but couldn't convince himself to turn the knob. Bowing his head, he drew in a deep unneeded breath. He missed Buffy so much it was a constant ache. He let go of the door as if it burned and hurried on to the bathroom.
It felt so good standing under the hot water without worrying about how soon some female was going to bang on the bathroom door demanding to know how long he would be. He braced his hands on the shower wall and bowed his head, letting the pulsing spray beat on the back of his neck.
He was so tired. Tired of being responsible, tired of being the grownup, tired of being the only one in the house with a paying job. He wished the witches would get a clue and help. Giles helped. Xander helped whenever he could but Anya was an expensive girlfriend and he was stretched pretty thin himself. He turned his face up to the comforting spray and closed his eyes. He shook his head as he reached for the soap. He knew how long he could stay in the shower before the hot water ran out so he soaped up and rinsed quickly. Spike got out and toweled himself dry before he realized he'd neglected to bring clean clothes up with him. He rechecked the house with his vampire senses and was relieved the house was still empty. He wrapped the towel around his waist and quickly made his way down to the basement to retrieve clean clothes from his dresser.
After dressing, Spike started the washing machine and loaded it with the clothes that had piled up. Checking to make sure the temperature setting was on cold, he added soap and closed the lid. He'd come a long way since he'd shrunk all his clothes at Xander's house by washing them in hot water. Since the basement was his domain, it was his job to wash the clothes that came down the chute. He drew the line at folding and putting away though because he didn't know what clothes belonged to which girl. He just loaded all the clean clothes into baskets and left them in the dining room for the girls to deal with.
He had insisted that the girls handle the rest of the housework. It had created some hard feelings for about a week before Dawn had broken the cold war by informing Tara and Willow that it was HER house and she wasn't going to allow Spike to have to do all the housework as well as patrolling and supporting the lot of them. Dawn had gone so far as to threaten to throw Willow and Tara out if they didn't pick up some of the slack. Spike shook his head. His Niblet was really growing up. He could see the difference in just the last couple months. The one thing the young vampire couldn't fathom was just how he became the head of the household.
Returning upstairs, he sat down at the small desk in the corner of the living room and went through the stack of bills there. He pulled the checkbook out of its nook and found a pen so he could pay the ones due. Giles had opened a checking account for his 'nephew' so he wouldn't have problems paying the bills. Spike signed his paychecks and Giles deposited them at the same time he did the Magic Box banking. He sealed and stamped the envelopes. Signing the check he'd gotten that morning, he added it and a deposit slip to the stack and put them in his pocket to give to Giles. He shook his head in disbelief. When had he become so domesticated? When had his unlife become so dull? He couldn't remember the last time he'd truly enjoyed doing anything that didn't involve slaying the demon population of Sunnyhell. He only enjoyed that because the violence was so cathartic. What was that expression again? Oh yeah, 'Shoot me, just shoot me now.' Spike gave a short bitter laugh. In his case it would be: 'Stake me, just stake me now.' Some days he felt as if he were just barely holding on by his fingertips. One wrong move and he'd plunge all the way down to the bottom and never find his way back.
He looked at the clock and saw that it was time to meet Dawn at the Magic Box. He didn't know where Red and Glenda were, school maybe, so he grabbed his blanket and made his daily dash for the sewer.
Following the familiar route through the sewers Spike made his way to the Magic Box without incident. The sewer dwelling demons knew the routes the master vampire used regularly and avoided them for their own safety. Demons and vampires alike avoided confrontations with the blond menace. Coming up through the basement of the shop, he stopped before entering the main level. He heard his name and paused to listen to the conversation.
"Giles, I'm worried about Spike." Dawn was saying as the vampire in question lurked in the shadows.
The former Watcher looked up from the book he was studying. "What's wrong with Spike, Dawn?" He asked.
'Yeah, what's wrong with Spike?' Spike wondered.
"Nothing's wrong. I mean nothing really serious. It's just that he seems so tired. He hardly ever laughs. I don't think I've seen him really enjoy anything for weeks. He's always patrolling or working or sleeping. It's like he had to grow up really fast and didn't get to do all the fun stuff first." Dawn was getting frustrated trying to explain how she felt.
Giles looked amused. "Dawn, he's over one hundred years old. I would think he grew up a long time ago."
"That's not quite what I mean. It's like he never had to be a grown up and now all of a sudden he's nothing but grown up. He's supporting Willow, Tara and me and it's taking a toll on him. He just looks so tired all the time. It's like he's just going through the motions and not enjoying any of it." Dawn was near tears trying to get her point across.
Giles nodded. "I've noticed that he's looking more tired lately. But I haven't a clue what to do to help him. I've offered him financial support, which he accepted without too much argument, thank goodness. As your guardian, I felt it my responsibility to help. But I realize it isn't enough."
Spike sighed and leaned against the wall. She'd hit the nail on the head. He had been merely going through the motions; it really was the most appropriate phrase. He hadn't realized that the Little Bit had noticed his difficulty in coping. He had made sure he didn't complain about having to work. He'd been lucky to get a night job with Xander's construction company. The Whelp had been surprisingly helpful with the official details of an identification card and social security card. Spike had been shocked that the brunette had stooped to illegal lengths to arrange the necessary documentation. Spike suspected Giles had had a hand in it, but nothing could be proven. He turned his attention back to the conversation.
"I just wish I could help. Do something for him. He's done so much for me. He just keeps giving and I want to give back but I don't know what to do." Dawn propped her head on her fists.
"I know what you mean. I can only suggest you keep your eyes open and if an opportunity presents itself, maybe you can do something for him." Giles cleaned his glasses.
The young vampire leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. 'Ah Bit, I'm trying. Really I am. Everything I do is for you. That will never change. I just have to get better at covering.' He crept back to the basement entrance and let the door rattle shut.
"Dawn, are you here?" He raised his voice and pretended he'd just arrived. Going through to the main room of the store, he nodded greetings to the fellow Brit and caught Dawn as she launched herself into his arms. "Hey, what's this all about?"
"Can't I be happy to see you?" The teenager asked indignantly.
"Course you can." He hugged her to him. "Got your homework done?" He asked.
Dawn let go and made a face. "No."
"Well, what are you waiting for? It's still a while until sunset. Get it done now and we'll rent movies on the way home." Spike gave his girl a gentle push toward the table. Turning to Giles, he pulled the envelopes out of his pocket and handed them to the older man for mailing. Giles separated the check from the bills and put it in the cash register so he could do all the banking at once. The rest he set aside for the mailman who came by late each afternoon.
"Don't you have to work and patrol?" The girl questioned her good luck.
Spike shook his platinum head. "Night off, Bit. Think I'll let the Bot patrol alone tonight." He glanced over at Giles as he spoke. While Spike patrolled every night, so did the Buffy bot, but in separate sections of town as Spike couldn't bear the sight of the robot. Seeing Buffy's look-alike was so emotionally stressful for the bleached blond vampire that the last time he'd run into her he'd retreated into himself for almost a week. It had taken an emergency visit from Angel before the young vampire recovered. He was still extra cautious whenever he patrolled so he wouldn't encounter her again. Giles nodded his understanding. The former Watcher had a look on his face that told Spike that he knew they'd been overheard.
"I think that's a splendid idea, Spike." The older man smiled.
The homework was done and the sun had set so the vampire and the teenager went to the video rental store and spent a good half an hour debating the merits of watching a current hit movie or a classic. They got popcorn and sodas to share during their movie marathon. Being Friday, Dawn didn't have school the next day. They picked up some Chinese takeout for their dinner, getting all their favorites.
Giles straightened up the shop after the vampire and his charge left. He had slipped Dawn some extra cash so she could treat Spike. The former Watcher knew that while Spike earned a good living working with Xander, it didn't quite cover some of the extras. Giles knew the vampire was keeping the household afloat but it was quite expensive supporting three young women. Giles was happy that Joyce had put mortgage insurance on the house so it had been paid off at her death. At least the young people would not have to worry about losing their place to live. He just wished he could do more to help. The young vampire had certainly surprised Giles with the way he'd jumped right in to support the grief-stricken teenager. Giles suspected that part of the reason was that if Spike kept busy he wouldn't have to dwell on what they had all lost. All in all, Giles mused, it was astounding how quickly Spike had assumed the role of head of household. He just hoped that the role wouldn't do irreparable damage to the emotionally fragile vampire. Spike had depths of strength that continually surprised the older man but Giles feared that the strength would someday run out and devastate both the vampire and the teenager. He sincerely hoped the fun planned for the night would recharge both of them.
Checking to make sure the alarms were set and the protection charms in place, the unofficial father figure of the Scooby gang went home. He dropped the deposits in the night box at the bank on the way. He gave a passing thought to the fact that, except for Anya who had left the shop early, he hadn't seen the core members of the Scoobies that day but shrugged it off. He shouldn't have.
Back at the Summers house, Spike and Dawn finished their Chinese feast and put away the leftovers. Giggling over their fortune cookies, they went into the living room and briefly tussled over whose movie was to be played first. Dawn won the draw so they settled down to watch the latest comedy, saving the classic horror movie for last. The duo stretched out side by side on the sofa, mutually agreeing to go sofa shopping very soon, with their feet on the coffee table and shared the popcorn. Their sodas were within reach. Everything was set for movie night.
"We have to do this more often, Bit." Spike said, relaxing for the first time in... well, it seemed like forever. "We don't spend enough time together. I'll have to work on that."
"This is great. Can we make it an every Friday date?" Dawn looked up at him, her big blue eyes pleading.
"As long as I have the night off. I'll try to get either Friday or Saturday off from now on. Ah, the movie's started, how long til it's over?" Spike laughed as the teenager poked him in the side.
When Tara and Willow returned home from their modified Scooby meeting several hours later, they found the television on with the screen blank, the movie long since over. The popcorn lying forgotten and scattered across their laps. Dawn's head was nestled on Spike's shoulder and his head rested comfortably on hers. His arms were around her snugly. They were sound asleep. They hadn't even made it halfway through the first movie.
Finis