A/N: Hey again, luvs. Man, this ficcy is amusing me. Lilly is such a fun character to write! :) Oh, and remember to review after reading, you know what happens if you don't (keep your toes safe)! Review about the weather if you like or about Jack Sparrow (drool), just tell me about anything! I'm in love with reviews, so give my grumpy face a huge smile by reviewing! Thanksies! Oh, yes, and this fic won't be very long, but there will be more to it than just a game of strip poker, I'll try not to make it too boring and stripping shall be included to the story all the time (mostly on Jack Sparrow's part just so you know, oh! I didn't say that, did I? NOOO……heh heh, now you just have to read more, eh?).
Disclaimer: Err, actually, NO! I don't own a bloody thing! Except for Lilly, Jim and the other ones you don't recognize at all. Thank you reading this very boring disclaimer, which you know couldn't be the truth if I started saying that 'hi, I own Pirates of the Caribbean, ain't that cool, yo?'……
Special thanks to reviewers: terradaina, Lady Lire Snowstorm, The Dairy Queen, Maien, Ryu-Gi, Loonargh, Gizmo LittleWing, alexa, MidnightDreams87, Clueless-Patty and Galaxia-Dawn!
Thanks a bunch; this chapter is dedicated to you!
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Playing with Fire
Chapter Two: Stolen Goods
He was getting the hang of my game, which wasn't a good sign. Not good at all, considering that I had to hold up my reputation as the best poker player in Nassau and he could not be the one to literally strip me from my title. It was soon time for some serious disruption for him, a stunt I had planned a long while to pull. We were both drunker than before we begun and I had difficulties to keep my concentration, partly because of Jack's present half nakedness and partly because of the rum I had consumed.
"We're rascals, scoundrels, villains and knaves, drink up me hearties, yo ho!" I sang heartily alongside with Jack. "We're devils, black sheep and really bad eggs, drink up me hearties, yo ho!" I was swaying on my chair with a pint of rum in my hand, trying to hold my laughter and continue to play the game.
"Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me!" Jack finished the song, taking a gulp of his drink with a grin.
I started giggling at his rough, manly voice when he sang and received many strange glances that told me I was insane. Jack smirked and looked at his cards once more.
"That's an adorably cute shirt, Tanner, mind if I……win it off in a tick?" Jack suggested shortly.
The mass of people around us sniggered at his unsophisticated comment.
"I'd like to rip off yer pants at first, ye mangy cad." I answered gruffly.
"Arr! I love it when ye talk dirty, me naughty wench!" said Jack sexily.
I tried to hold my face even and not punch him as hard as I could, for that was called sexual harassment.
"Oh, Sparrow, my only true love, I'll do anything for you!" I said batting my eyelashes, my language proper English and my attitude holier-than-thou.
"Please, call me Jack, just this once." he winked and suddenly I felt something creep along my bare thigh under the table. It was slithering upwards between my legs, rubbing and massaging pleasantly, until –
"Can't pass tha' up, Jack!" I hissed and clenched my legs close, leaving his foot trapped between them. I sneaked my hand below the scraped mahogany-table and took his leather boot off and started unmercifully tickling his foot. His reaction was unforgettable! His dark eyes widened slightly, his lips pursed as he tried to hold his laughter, looking like a fool aflame.
"Footsie isn't allowed, blighter." I whispered to him when he tried to yank his foot from my grasp but failed utterly and almost fell from his chair.
"Tanner, stop! No, don't……please, ye 'ave stop right now……" he pleaded silently, his laughing eyes staring into mine.
The listeners were completely unaware of events, only seeing the rogue captain cry for mercy.
"Oh, so ye like it and want more, is that it?" I questioned croakily and carried on with tickling him, he shook his head fiercely, the jewellery clinging softly. Oh, how I enjoyed keeping him on fire! Gibbs, I saw, raised his eyebrows to the highest term I've known to man.
Then Jack couldn't take it any longer. He broke down into rough, joyful chortles that filled the tavern and confused the others entirely. He threw his cards on the table and tried to pry off his leg from my grip.
"Lovely! Looks like I won again! A Full House outdoes a Straight, ye scruffy sea-dog!" I shouted in bliss and released his foot making Jack fall off his chair onto the hard wooden floor.
"You cheated!" he panted angrily, hauling himself up. "Ye disgrace o' a lady! You cheated and I want me boot back!" he demanded promptly.
I shook my head and hugged his smelling boot to my chest.
"Nah! I'll keep it safe until yer breeches come off, me dearie!" I told him sweetly, giving a smile that exposed my pearly whites, rather yellows in fact. Jack scowled, looked away from me and muttered something ugly about me though I couldn't exactly hear what was said.
"Smartly now, smartly now! We don't have the whole fuckin' night, do we?" I exclaimed, sniffing his boot, though just a few milliseconds later, I discovered that that wasn't the cleverest thing to do. "Oh, yuck! Yer feet must smell really, really terrible, if this is the nasty stench your boots carry……Damn, talk about really bad eggs……I think I'm gonna be sick," I muttered in disgust.
"Look out, there's Commodore Norrington!" Jack yelled suddenly and was pointing frantically somewhere behind me.
"Who?" I asked in confusion, knitting my eyebrows together. Who was he talking about? "Who's Commodore – "
"The feared Commodore of Port Royal, coming to put yer tanned ass in prison, Tanner!" Jack exclaimed, still pointing furiously behind me.
"How the freakin' hell do ye know me ass is –" I shut up when I registered exactly what he said. "Oh, crap! Where, where is he?" I cried in panic. "Help! I'm not ready to be hanged! Don't arrest me Commodore, please! I'm too young to die!" I yelped with my hands over my head and spinning around I stared into the dark, empty corner behind me with my eyes wide as wheels.
No Commodore in sight there. Jack Sparrow ran a rig on me! I turned back to look at him in rage whilst the rest of the crowd was laughing mirthfully.
"Ha, ha, ha. Extremely witty, darling!" I scoffed sarcastically and averted my eyes to the table, where the cards lay. I looked at mine, instantly noting that my Full House was replaced by a bloody Straight.
Damn.
"Ah, looks like I beat ye to it, Tanner. A Full House does better than a good ol' Straight, doesn't it?" Jack told me, his eyes gleaming excitedly.
I gaped at him like a fish on dry land, trying somehow to get a word out of my mouth.
"But – but – you switched the cards, for pete's sake!" I shrieked in horror. "You bloody hornswaggling bastard, that's unfair! You switched the cards behind me back!" I said angrily with lowered eyebrows and my hands came to rest on my hips.
"Too bad ye forgot to say tha' was not allowed in this game, luv. Start stripping, and where's that blasted old man with my drink?" Jack looked around for Jim. A large tankard, full of tasty rum, was soon placed in front of his nose, but I was still too shocked to do a thing.
"You filthy, cheating, horrible, mean, disrespectful, rude, dirty, unreliable, stinking, stubby-fingered, untrustworthy, cruel, revolting, treacherous, perverted, crooked pile of crab dung with a shitty sense of humour! That was – I would've never – it was completely –" Jack cut my sentence off.
"- honest and incredibly stylish." he finished for me with a grin. "Ouch. Quite a vocabulary you got there, lassie, but let's see about yer assets." he said, leaning back in his chair.
I knew my face went crimson from anger and steam was probably protruding out of my ears at this rate. "Just start with taking off the shirt and then we'll move to the undergarments, me dear girl." he winked at me.
"As you wish……ye nasty little bugger." I mumbled through gritted teeth when I placed my hat aside and started tugging off my shirt.
The catcalls and whistles made me want to burn the whole place down in a single flame of fire which I hoped would escape my mouth once I opened it to throw Sparrow a mocking retort about his pervy-ness……
BOOM!
I stopped midway in taking off my shirt and sat unmoving as the tavern shook after the weird explosion which had made the whole crowd in the room quiet down.
"By thunder! What the heck was that?! What did you do now, Sparrow, something disgusting and smelling perchance?" I asked from under my shirt, thinking that he maybe farted.
I heard him snort and answer: "No, ye bloody idiot, it's –"
BOOM!
" – cannon fire." he calmly finished his sentence and now I heard the crowd start to panic and run amuck the tavern, scrambling up from their seats and hurrying for the door.
"And as much as I'd like to carry on with this exciting game with yer loveliness, we'll 'ave to finish it another more appropriate time, Tanner, for I must whiz and save the day. Ta, luv!" Sparrow mumbled in my ear and then he was gone.
The chairs scraped the floor as whores started screaming and running out since the next cannonballs hit the town with disastrous results. I was still sitting but suddenly felt myself being pushed off my chair onto the hard wooden floor with a thump.
"Ow, ow, ow……now that wasn't nice at all……eunuchs, all of 'em!" I grumbled.
"Up ye go!" Jim's hoarse voice said in my ear all of sudden and he dragged me up from the ground. The shirt was still blinding me but I struggled to keep my balance.
"Crikey! What the blazes is going on?" I questioned in puzzlement. "I've got a game to play! I'm still – oh, shit! Help me with this shirt, ye ol' wretch!" Jim and I finally got the shirt back on me properly and now I could see that the tavern was emptying at high speed, a cannonball had hit the eastside wall and made a huge hole, smoke and flames starting to take over the place.
I looked around me, Sparrow and his brigand crew were nowhere in sight, nor were my breeches……
BOOM!
"We've gotta run, Lilly! Bad pirates be runnin' about and the town is under attack!" Jim exclaimed, visibly terrified.
"No shit, Mr. Obvious." I muttered sardonically.
Suddenly a rather important subject popped into my mind and I started shouting, "My pants! Where my – where my pants at?!" I yelled in terror. "My pants are gone! I need my pants! Holy moly, Jesus Christ……Can't leave without my pants, nor live for the matter! That thief……I know tha' bloody Sparrow stole my pants!" I yelled outrageously, clenching my hands into fists. I had to hunt him down……and get my breeches back!
I pounced for the door but Jim stopped me just in time I was about to do something implausibly stupid.
"Wait! Ye're unarmed and half naked. So, take this wit' ya, lass!" he placed an old, strange item in my arms and I stopped, staring bewildered down at it.
"And what exactly is this? Should I put it on meh?" I asked, forgetting the battle outside for a minute, studying the wooden thing with strange strings that made beautiful noises when played gently. It was definitely not something to put on oneself. "It's pretty, though……" I mumbled stupidly.
"It's a violin, Lil. Yer mother's old one. Take it with you, ye'll know why precisely when the time comes!" he whispered and pushed me towards the door.
"Eh?" I raised my eyebrows, staggering. "How can I put this funky thingy on me then? Is this helping the situation that I am soon practically prancing nude around a fuckin' harbour with horny perverts gallivanting about, their cutlasses raised (not only the cutlasses made out of steel, but the other ones as well), looking for innocent girls to rape? I'll be an easy target out there, my friend!" I gulped, pointing at the door while I spoke to Jim through the thick smoke and eyed the violin suspiciously.
BOOM!
"Get out o' here now! They're tearing this place down!" Jim shouted, ignoring my statement, whilst running behind the counter, grabbing his money and two bottles of rum, which I assumed were high on his take-with-you-in-threatening-circumstances-or-die-without- list.
A cannon ball flew through the building again and shook the pillars of the house, making me fall on my butt with a yelp, the violin clutched tightly in my hands.
"I will rip those whelps apart once I get me bare hands on 'em, limb by limb for destroyin' Nassau, or better, I'll make them meet the rope's end until their asses are inflaming red……" I grunted quietly, continuing to make more threats under my breath.
"Get going, ye daft cow!" Jim yelled heatedly.
I got up from the floor and seizing my hat from a table, I scurried towards the door with one last backward glance.
"Farewell, me girl, I 'ave a feeling we won't be seein' each other so soon!" he cried and I shook my head.
"Codswallop, Jim. I'll be back before long, I just need to chase these blasted intruders out o' me town – oh, damn it! I don't even have a cutlass on me, that went with pants too……Oh, God, why do ye hate me……" I sniffed, but breeches-less, unarmed and carrying a violin I swayed out into the dark night filled with screams and explosions, wondering what I was to do now.
I stood stiff as a plank outside the Singing Seaman, watching silently my hometown burn.
"Oh, son o' a bitch, here we go……" I muttered and started trotting down the road, the fresh mud splashing beneath my boots as my eyes scanned the area for possible weapons and enemies.
Nassau's military was running around with their rifles aimed at the attacking pirates who swarmed into the town, pillaging, plundering and all that piratey stuff they usually do, all the while the inhabitants of the town tried to get away from the raiders.
Obviously I wasn't looking much where I was running, for suddenly I collided into something smelling and muscular, which wore clothes and probably belonged to the human race. Probably.
"Hey, watch it, fuckwit!" I shouted, falling on my back onto the ground, getting another person on top of me.
"Well, well, we shall meet again, Miss Tanner." I opened one eye and saw Captain Jack Sparrow grinning down at me, his gold teeth very visible this time.
I scowled. My breeches were still tied around his neck unfortunately (he must be addicted to my scent, poor bloke)……
"So it seems, Captain Sparrow." I stated, sighing. "Get up, ye cocky pig, yer pistol's in a dire position against me thigh……" I murmured, trying to push the heavy form of Jack Sparrow off me.
He chuckled lightly and heaved himself up with a little effort. "Ah, bu' ye see, me pistol's over here, luv," Jack told me, taking his pistol from behind his back, where it had been neatly placed under his sash.
I didn't even want to think further.
Hauling myself up from the soil with a heavy puff escaping my mouth, I picked up the fallen violin and threw him a big mocking smile. "A rather hurtful run in, wasn't it? The landing could've gone softer, y'know, I'm more of an 'on the top' person, catch it, darling?" I grinned with a malevolent glint in my eye.
Jack's eyes widened, obviously not believing that it was me this time making a sexual innuendo. "Keep yer kinky little thoughts to yerself, Tanner," he said aggravated.
Ha! So, he doesn't like a taste of his own game? Got to keep that in mind……
"What are you implyin'? That I'm a pervert?" I gasped on purpose, trying to look as innocent as possible. "Never!" I said and reached for my breeches, but he leaned away and slapped my hand away with his. "Those belong to me, for yer information. I've been hysterically scampering around Nassau, trying to find them, imbecile. And I'd be much obliged if ye'd hand 'em back now, Sparrow, just so I don't have to walk around in me knickers anymore and freeze me buttocks off at the same moment." I demanded in a low voice.
"Tanner, I saw ye step out o' the Singing Seaman just a jiffy ago, and if 'hysterically scampering around Nassau' means running ten feet down a street, it's me duty to stare at yer long legs, wondering where the hell they're leading up to –" he quieted down as I glowered, folding my arms over my chest.
"I didn't say that aloud, did I?" Jack enquired, flashing me a bright toothy smile.
I nodded curtly. "I should give ye a medal for being the most –"
"Save the chitchat, me darling luv; a band of fifty rabid pirates are running this way, apparently seen yer half nakedness and wanting to catch a glimpse of more, savvy?" said Jack grabbing my upper arm and we started running unsteadily down towards the harbour, me and my violin hanging after him, trying to keep up with his speed.
"Where exactly are we goin', man? This runnin' ain't the thing fer me, I'm still loaded to the gunwalls, I am," I shouted to him, the docks soon in sight with two large pirate ships bathing in the shimmering moonlight, anchored by the piers. One pitch black and the other one painted in different shades of dark red.
"The Black Pearl, missy!2 he answered, casting me a crooked grin. I had the urge to stop but his grip around my arm was too tight to get out of.
The Black Pearl was a ship, right? Oh no……
"A little faster, Tanner," Jack said, tugging my sleeve for me to run quicker. "If ye don't want to get harassed by those gents behind ye, then put some speed in yer ass, luv," he advised. I glanced behind me, detecting that he was telling the truth.
Dirty pirates were really after us!
Shit.
"Oi, Sparrow! Leave the poppet to us!" one of them yelled.
"My apologies, scoundrel, the woman owes me somethin' and she's comin' with me!" Jack cried back, winking at me.
"I am?" I questioned flabbergasted. Sparrow nodded swiftly and the last sprint to the ship was ahead of us.
Suddenly a group of navy soldiers clad in red coats and armed with dangerous rifles jumped in front of us, making both of us halt and Jack draw his sword.
Double shit.
"I command you to stop right now, pirates!" one of them spat at us, his face emotionless in the dark night as he squeezed the gun tighter.
I rolled my eyes grunting mockingly, "We stopped already, idiot, if ye didn't notice."
"Lilly Tanner?" came an astounded question. I grinned broadly. Man, it's so easy to be famous and popular around Nassau.
"The one and only." I replied, beaming. "Pleasure to meet you, soldier boys, but me and my tatty comrade are in a big, big hurry, if you know wha' I mean……" I nudged my head behind us at the pirates, who were coming nearer, but slowed down once they noticed the navy mates.
"Yes, yes, of course. Go on, Lilly Tanner, we'll hold the bandits for you!" the soldier said and stepped away from our path. Jack and I jogged past them but not before hearing; "Was that Jack Sparrow, the scourge of the seven seas?"
Jack looked mighty pleased but murmured, "Captain" in an exasperated tone which I distinguished amidst the chaos of the night.
"Scourge of the seven seas, eh?" I repeated amused and laughed wholeheartedly as we continued to run towards the Black Pearl. I had to hold my hat securely on top of my head in case it would fly away. The crew was already aboard and the ship was prepared to sail from the bay.
We finally reached the end of the dock and I stopped abruptly, my boots squealing against the wood under me. This was it. Jack turned back to look at me when he was about to climb aboard, helped by his crew.
"Ye're leaving with us, Tanner, we've got a thrilling game to play," he said, a smirk spreading across his lips. "An' who knows wha' adventures might come across our course. Oh, I've got yer pants as well," he added suggestively, patting the breeches around his neck.
Adventures! I would love to go on an adventure!
I opened my mouth to answer, but it was too dry and no words were capable of forming around my tongue. I glanced at the ship nervously, pulling the strings of the violin, making a horrid sound and when complains came, I had to stop.
"What's the crisis, luv? Afraid that me Pearl's gonna bite ya?" he asked, sniggering to his own joke.
I managed a small, false smile.
"It's just that……I haven't been aboard a ship……ever……in me entire life." I said with a light titter and shifted my weight from one foot to the other, the wind ruffling my hair.
Captain Jack Sparrow gaped at me in utter disbelief.
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A/N: Err, a surprise ending? Was it? And what's this: Lilly hasn't been aboard a ship in her whole life? Whoa, that's pretty bad for a pirate, eh? Now it's yer duty to (unsheathes sword and waves it, threatening the readers) REVIEW! Arr! Remember your toes, chap, keep 'em safe by reviewing! ;)
- "Now……bring me that horizon." -