Never Look Back By StoppedaTrafficLight
Ch. 2: You See What You Want To See
Ephram continued to walk down the familiar Everwood streets in a daze. He felt like he was having one of his surreal dreams, but this one... way more surreal. After Bright had said those words, he had solemnly gotten up and walked out the door without saying a word. He ignored Bright who had followed him to the door, muttering something or other about Amy trying to telling him this week.
No matter how he tried, he couldn't get his mind around it. She just leaves after all that happened, leaving him a note with no more than ten words on it. The day came back to Ephram as it always did. The day played in his head like an old movie, flickering and unfocused. The back of the bus going down the road, seeing Amys blonde hair in the last row through the open windows.... chasing after it for eight blocks and yelling her name, the loud rumbling engine to loud for her to hear.... and the sight of as it turned the corner and realizing she was gone from him forever.
Now she shows up after six years... six years.... with a child.. his child. The thought briefly crossed his mind, that.. Jules.. might not be his, but he quickly dismissed it. Thoughts like that always seemed to enter his mind, ever since Madison. His heart quickly hardened at the thought. She had been his first real relationship, first love, as well as some other firsts too. Then after all they had been though, she had lied to him and put him, and Amy, through living hell for six months.
Ephram had no idea what he was gonna do or where he we was going, when his thoughts were suddenly silenced. He stared into the eyes before him, seeing Amy up close again after all these years.
Amy froze, she couldn't speak. She knew this moment would come eventually, it was one of the reasons she came back this week, during the holidays when she knew he'd be here, but even all of this left her unprepared for rounding a corner and running smack into him. She stared, he stared, and Jules just looked at both of them.
"Mommy?" Amy's heart stopped. She tried to swallow the mound in her throat. Without taking her eyes of Ephram she answered her daughter.
"Yeah sweetie?"
"Whose he?" Amy paused. She wanted to say 'he's your dad' but resisted the urge. Despite the look of fear on Ephram's face, his jaw wasn't dropped and he didn't even looked surprised. Amy turned and bent down to look Jules in the eye. She fidgeted with the little girl's coat as she spoke, trying to not appear as nervous as she really was.
"He's an old friend of mommy's. Why don't you go across the street and play on the playground?" Amy tried her best to smile, hoping it appeared more cheerful then she actually felt.
"But you never let me cross the street by myself." Jules stated to Amy.
"That's in New York. You can in Everwood... when I tell you to," she added quickly.
Jules paused and looked confused but in the end just shook her head and walked to the curb, checking both ways like she was taught.
Amy waited until the small girl was safely in the sandbox until she turned around and faced him again. Her mouth opened and she took a deep breath but closed it again, and looked down at her shoes. He could tell it was hard for her, but that sure as hell didn't mean he was gonna make it any easier. All of a sudden Amy whirled around,
"Put your hat back on Jules!!" Ephram looked at the little girl, and sure enough, Amy had been right, the little girl had just pulled the hat off and was trying to dispose of it by burying it in the sandbox. He started to laugh, but caught himself before his smile appeared.
"So... Hi... I guess, um... do you think maybe we could a j-just sit and may-maybe talk for a minute?" Amy asked, still staring at the beat up Keds on her feet.
Ephram hesitated. "Yeah," he said simply. They crossed the street slowly and sat at a table and two chairs that had been set up to play chess on. They sat across from each other about twenty feet from Jules, who was now hanging on a set of monkey bars."
"So, I guess you're surprised to see me... and Jules... Sorry about running in to you." She finally looked up at him.
"It's okay." His eyes remained cold when he looked at her. She shouldn't have been surprised by his attitude, after what she'd done. She tried to think about how she should tell him about Jules, but didn't know how. Just come out and say it, there's no other way, she thought to herself.
"So I guess your wondering who Jule's da-"
"Not really." Ephram cut her off and shook his head, raising his eyebrows. "Bright did a pretty good job of filling me in." He shrugged, and Amy recognized his attitude. It all came flowing back to her, he hadn't changed, even after six years.
"What did Bright tell you?" She should have known Bright would have told him, they had been close those last two years, figures they would stay that way, him being Ephram.
Ephram spoke quietly and less harsh, but he still stared right at her. "That she's mine."
Amy nodded and refocused on her hands. She didn't know what to say, so just nodded and picked at her gloves. He sighed and shook his head, leaning back in the chair and finally breaking his death stare.
"Damn it Amy!" His voice was low but filled with anger. "How could you not tell me you were pregnant. You leave without a word, and show up six years later and tell me I have a kid! Do you realize how seriously fucke-"
This time is was Amy who cut him off. "I didn't know I was pregnant when I left!" She paused and avoided his eyes for a moment. "I found out a couple of weeks later," she tried to look him in the eye but he just looked away and shook his head. "I was barely even eighteen, I didn't know what I needed to do."
"You needed to come home... To tell me. You know I would have been there for you, I would have helped... I loved you Amy, I would have done anything for you." He shook his head and turned away from her, before looking her in the eye again. "You're the one who ran.. with my child I might add, I had no say in the matter. I had no choice. You did."
"Ephram....." She started but didn't know what to say. I loved you too, she thought but knew she couldn't say it. "I..."
"I need to go." He started to walk away but she stopped by the arm.
"Ephram." He turned to face her, but didn't meet her eyes. "I'm sorry." He looked up and locked eyes with her.
"Me too."
Ephram slowly walked into the Brown house. Once again he was faced with a mental images he didn't need from Delia and Jason, who were joined at the mouth on the couch.
"Don't forget to breathe." He mumbled sourly as he passed them. He remembered what if felt like to be like that. In fact she's 16, the same age he was when he met Amy, and that turned out so good, he thought to himself. Sometimes he was scared for his sister, that she'd end up like Madison.. or Amy, he silently added, that Delia would end up pregnant before she graduated. He knew she was way smarter than him at her age, hell she's smarter than I am now, he thought. He opened the fridge and drank some milk out of the carton. He just hoped she was smart enough.
For the second time today she hesitated before pushing a doorbell at a familiar house she hadn't seen in ages. She glanced down at Jules.
"Best behavior okay?" Jules nodded. "Promise?" The little girl raised her pinky and Amy shook with her own. Just then Dr. Brown opened the door, finding the two joined by pinkies.
Amy quickly let go and turned her focus to the doctor.
"Uh.. Dr. Brown?"
"Oh my god." So he did recognize her, she was beginning to wonder. "Amy?... Is that you?" He starred in disbelief at her, barely noticing Jules, much like Bright had.
"Yeah," she tried to smile. "It's me."
"Wow," the man blinked and Amy noticed how much older he looked that he had six years ago. "I haven't seen you since..." He let his voice trail off.
"Yeah." She gave an uneasy smile. "Since senior year."
He nodded in understanding. "So-"
"What am I doing here?" She finished for him.
He smiled "Yeah, are you in town for the holidays.. to see your parents?" He guessed.
"Partly." She paused and tried to straighten out the thoughts in her head. She looked bak down at Jules, and kneeled so they were eye to eye. "Honey... why don't you go sit in Uncle Brights car, okay? I need to talk grown up talk." She smiled at Jules, trying to appear cheerful for her daughter. Jules hesitated, and looked up at Dr. Brown, then back and Amy.
"Okay mommy." She turned around and walked down the steps. Amy made sure she was in the car and had the doors locked before she turned back to Dr. Brown.
"Mommy?" He asked. "Are you..."
"No." She answered quickly. "I'm not married, or engaged, not with her father. Um... do you think maybe we could talk? I promise it won't take long. I just need a minute. I can come back later if that would be better." She knew she was babbling but she couldn't help it.
"Amy, calm down. It's fine, why don't you come in?" He stood back, so she could enter through the door.
"Actually, do you think maybe we could just sit out here," she asked hopefully gesturing towards the chairs. "I don't wanna.."
Dr. Brown nodded and understood that she didn't want to run into Ephram. He grabbed his coat from a nearby hook and slipped it on as he walked over and sat down next to her.
"What's wrong Amy?" Dr. Brown asked concerned.
"Nothing, everything is fine, well fine enough... Nothing serious." She paused and spoke lower. "I just need to tell you something and I don't know how."
"Amy just say it, it can't be that bad." She could tell he was worried by the look on her face.
"Her name's Jules." Dr. Brown paused, waiting for something more. "Brown. Jules Brown."
Hope you like it. Please review and feel free to tell me how you think it should go. I'm known for getting cases of writing block and your reviews really help!