To Help Me Get Through

Disclaimer: Same as the previous chapters.

Chapter 3

Never Understanding, but Knowing.

Sara awoke and took a few minutes to remember where she was before getting out of bed. She walked a few paces to the door and stopped to listen. Everything was quite in the house except for the ticking of a clock from the living room. She took a deep breath and proceeded out of the room and down the hall. To her surprise, she didn't see Grissom anywhere about. She stood for a moment debating on whether to go and grab her things and leave or stay for awhile. Meanwhile, unbeknown to her, Grissom was standing in the doorway of his room, watching Sara. He watched her for a moment before speaking.

"Going somewhere"

Sara jumped and grabbed her chest at the sound of Grissom's voice behind her.

"Grissom, how long...."

"Not long" Grissom answered before Sara could finish her sentence.

"Oh" Sara replied as she tried to avoid his blue eyes.

"So, were you going somewhere?" asked Grissom, as he closed the gap between them.

"No, what makes you think I was....going anywhere?"

"You just seemed to be acting as though you were thinking about it"

"How do you know what I was thinking?"

"I don't"

"For your information I was trying to decide what I wanted to eat for breakfast" said Sara quickly.

"So, did you decide?"

"No"

"Well, while you're thinking about it, I'm going to get ready to go to the lab" said Grissom, as he walked into the bathroom. He turned around before closing the door. "When you decide, you can go and eat. Everything you need is in the kitchen" said Grissom, pointing in the direction of the kitchen before closing the door.

Sara gives the door an evil look before turning on her heels, clenching her fists and walking full force for the kitchen.

About 20 minutes later, Grissom came out of the bathroom and went to the kitchen. There he saw Sara eating a bowl of cereal while staring at the wall. He grinned a little before going into the kitchen and getting himself some coffee. He sat down in front of Sara and stared for a moment.

"What?" asked Sara cocking her eyebrow.

"Are you going to tell me about last night?"

"No, you should know anyway"

"Sara, you need to talk about it"

"About what? About how Abbie is dead? About how her rapist is dead because of me? Or even better, about how every rape victim reminds me of her?"

Grissom sighs and continues to look intently at her.

"I thought we got pass this already."

"We didn't!"

"Sara, you can't keep doing this to yourself, year after year!"

"What do you know Grissom? Every year we dance this same dance, and every year, I sober up and leave. We meanwhile continue on the same path, all because YOU can't risk it!" yells Sara, before pushing her chair away from the table and going to the bedroom.

Grissom watches Sara disappear down the hall. He gets up and goes over to the couch and sits down. Sara reappears a few seconds later and heads for the front door.

"Sara?"

"What?" asks Sara, turning around.

"Before you go, I just have one question."

"What?"

"Was your drinking only about Abbie, or is there something else?"

"You should know the answer to that" replied Sara, turning back around and opening the door.

"I can't change what has already happened"

"You really don't get it, do you? What will it take, Grissom, for you to understand where I'm coming from?"

Sara turns around and looks at Grissom sitting on the couch. He doesn't move but locks eyes with her.

"Bye Grissom" says Sara, before turning and leaving.

TBC.