Author's Note: Hello, again! I want to start off by thanking all of my reviewers:
Lady Voldything (Just one, that was easy!): In all seriousness, thank you for your kind review. It made my day! This is my first fanfic and as my first reviewer, your positive words helped get things off to a good start. You are right about Merry and carrots, though! I was also looking for the VSDs but I couldn't find that story on this site. I also checked Amazon in case it was an actual book. Please e-mail me if you know how I can find/access it. I'm always open to suggestions as to how to improve my story. Thanks again!
Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or any other movie that is referenced in this chapter.
Saturday Night –
At 6:45, I heard some excited pounding on the front door. It could only be—
"Merry and Pippin," I greeted them. "Come on in. How did I know you two would be first?"
Merry scampered inside and Pippin came after, tugging along a loaded-down red wagon that probably weighed more than he did.
"What have you got in there?" I asked.
"Just some regular sleepover provisions," he told me. "Sleeping bag, pillows, pajamas, toothbrush, popcorn, mushrooms, carrots, cabbages, sliced turkey, honey-cured ham, pears, two loaves of bread, a firkin of ale…"
I listened, unfazed. He actually packed light this time.
"…raspberry tarts, a tin of crackers, karaoke machine--"
"What?!" I gasped. "No way, not again!" Merry grabbed my arm before I could run away.
"You always say that," Merry said.
"And then you always do it anyway," Pippin reminded me.
"Yeah, but it's usually because I've been bribed," I stated.
"That's why we've also brought M&M's," Merry said, holding up a bag of candy-covered chocolates (which can, in fact, melt in your hand).
"And Asti," Pippin added, pulling a bottle out of the wagon.
"Well, okay," I agreed. I'm so weak. "So who's coming tonight?"
"Almost everybody," Merry said. "Gandalf couldn't come because he's at the White Party this weekend."
"Right," Pippin said. "Hey, Annie, what's a White Party anyway? Is it for, like, White Wizards?"
"Um, yeeeeaaaahhhh. That's it. A White Wizard Party!" I responded. 'Hehe, White Party. Go, Gandalf! I knew it,' I thought to myself.
"Anyway, Pippin, why don't you go out to the kitchen and put away your foodstuffs?" I suggested.
"Okay," he complied, padding down the hallway with his wagon in tow.
Merry stood still for a moment and tilted his head. "Do you hear something?" he asked.
I listened. "Yeah," I said, "it's music; sounds really familiar."
The music got louder.
"I know where I've heard that before!" Merry exclaimed. "It's the same music that was playing when the Fellowship first started out on the journey. Remember when everyone went over the mountain in slow motion?"
"Yes, I remember that part," I said. "But why are we hearing it now?"
I went over to the door and pulled it open.
"Aragorn!" I said, surprised.
He smiled. "Hi, Annie. Hello, Merry."
"Hi, yourself," I said. "Uh, do you mind turning off that boom box?"
"What? I'm playing my new theme music, Annie! Everyone should know that the King of Gondor is coming! I thought you'd be happy if the neighbors knew you had a guest of such prestige."
"Wow, you haven't let this King of Gondor thing go to your head, have you?" Merry asked sarcastically. "Whatever happened to all that humble, 'You bow to no one' stuff?"
"I'm still humble!" Aragorn protested. "Resuming my royal title, marrying the most beautiful elf in all of Middle Earth – and she IS, I don't care what Legolas and Gimli say – leading a battle against the armies of The Evil Eye, and may I add, looking damn hot while doing it all hasn't spoiled me one bit! I'm still the same, down-to-earth, hard-core Ranger I've always been."
"Strider!!!" Pippin shrieked, running towards him from the kitchen. "It's so good to see you! I missed you!"
"Pippin, I saw you and Merry this afternoon when you invited me to this sleepover."
"Yeah, I know," Pippin said, as he hugged Aragorn around his knees. "Hey, give me a piggy-back ride?" he asked, looking up pleadingly.
"You expect ME to give you a piggy-back ride?" Aragorn asked, shocked. "I'm the freakin' King of Gon—oh, fine," he said, noticing the looks Merry and I were giving him.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The four of us jumped as the most awful, high-pitched squealing rang through the air.
I winced. "Legolas is here," I announced.
The others nodded in agreement, then we heard, "AAAAAARRRRRGGHHH!!!!"
"So is Gimli," Merry added, recognizing the guttural roar.
"RUN, LEGOLAS, RUN!" two voices with heavy southern accents screamed from outside.
Aragorn looked at us quizzically. "Alright, I have no idea who that is."
The man, the hobbits, and the Annie went outside to take a look.
Legolas was running down the sidewalk with his squealing fangirls in hot pursuit. Gimli was "AAAAARRRGGGHH-ing" away as he attempted to beat off some of the overexcited pubescents with Legolas' two-ton hair care bag. Standing on my porch were Sam and Frodo, yelling (with fake southern accents), "Run, Legolas, run!" a la Jenny in "Forrest Gump." Then…the braces on Legolas' legs broke off and he just ran, man! He just kept running! He went all the way across the country and back again! He developed a following! He received press coverage! He was an inspiration! He helped a guy come up with the "Shit happens" bumper sticker!
Several fan fiction readers leaned back from their computer screens in confusion, "What the hell was that?"
Ooops. Okay, it didn't quite happen like that. More accurately, Aragorn, Merry, Pippin, and I laughed our asses off at Legolas' predicament. Regaining our composure, we quickly ushered the remaining four members of the Fellowship into the house, slamming the door on the Legolas fangirls. Sorry, ladies.
I turned the deadbolt lock on the door and Aragorn let out a frustrated sigh, "Legolas, why do you have to bring those girls wherever you go?"
"Hey, they followed ME!" Legolas exclaimed. "Besides, at least I have fangirls! You look like you arrived in relative peace," he said to Aragorn.
"The elf's got a point," I agreed.
"Aragorn shot me his dirtiest look. "Oh, I HAVE fangirls," he insisted. "It's just that I, unlike a certain tall, blond, braided Mirkwood prince who shall remain nameless, know how to be discreet. Remember, I was a Ranger! 'I can avoid being seen if I wish,'" he continued, employing his FOTR line.
Time out! Let's take a moment to travel a few hours into the past and see why Aragorn arrived without any fangirls.
And now, for what really happened:
Aragorn adjusted his knapsack as he walked from his palace to my house. After what happened last time, he wasn't going to come, but Arwen was away at a macramé fair with Eowyn this weekend and "Spongebob" was a rerun, so he figured he put in an appearance. Suddenly, someone jumped on his back screeching, "I found him! I found him!" In one move, he swung whoever was on his back to the ground as he spun around. He found himself faced with a sea of fangirls.
"Aragorn!" they swooned.
"Fangirls!" he cried. "How many of you are there? One hundred, two hundred….oh, damn! Legolas still has more!"
"But we looooooooove you!" they assured him. "We'll follow you anywhere!"
"Really? Cool, wanna follow me to Annie's house?" he asked.
"Yay!"
"Very well. No pushing, everyone in a single file," he instructed them.
"Um, Aragorn?" a fangirl piped up.
"Yes," he answered.
"You're hot."
"Thank you."
"Can I give you a sponge bath?" she asked, very excited.
"What?! A bath ?!!?" he hollered with rising panic in his voice. "Ew! You go to the back of the line!"
Disturbed, he began rummaging through his things. "Now, we're almost ready to go, he continued," I just need one thing. Aha! Here it is!" Aragorn pulled a boom box out of his backpack. Pushing the "play" button, he held it aloft (think John Cusack in "Say Anything") and resumed walking.
The fangirls stopped in their tracks. "What is he doing?" they whispered to one another.
"This is my new King of Gondor theme music," Aragorn called over his shoulder.
"Isn't this the Fellowship theme?" one asked.
"Well, yes, but aren't I a part of the Fellowship, Miss Picky? I have rights to it too!"
He continued walking.
Some of the fangirls remained still, while others hesitantly followed, walking about six paces behind.
"Does anyone else find this embarrassing?" a random fangirl asked.
"I do!" another random fangirl called out.
"How about we do this another day, when he's not being so diva-like?" a third random fangirl suggested.
The others murmured in agreement.
"But wait!" yet another fangirl cried. "We're fangirls! What are you going to do for the rest of the day if we stay away form the object of our unbearable fanpassion?"
They looked around in bewilderment.
Just then, one of them thought she saw a flash of gold dashing away in the distance. "Omigosh, omigosh, OMIGOSH, YOU GUYS!!!!" she screamed. "I THINK I JUST SAW LEGOLAS!"
"WHERE?" the others gasped.
"Over there, quick! Maybe we can touch his hair!"
So the Aragorn fangirls temporarily switched to Legolas fangirls and ran off squealing, "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!"
Aragorn turned around to see that his fangirls had deserted him. "Sometimes I hate that freakin' elf."
Time in! Back to the present:
Everyone had pretty much moved away from the whole fangirl topic. Meanwhile, I was trying to discreetly remove all of the rings I was wearing before Frodo noticed them.
Guess what? He noticed.
"There's no need for that, Annie," he assured me.
I stopped in mid-tug. "Why is that?" I asked warily.
"Because I'm wearing this," he said, showing me a white gem that was hanging from a chain around his neck. "It helps."
"Oooh, pretty," I told him.
"Isn't it, though?" Sam commented. "I think it looks especially nice with Mr. Frodo's beautiful blue eyes." Sam had been busy unloading all that he and Frodo had brought, but stopped when he noticed all of us giving him 'Oh, I see,' looks.
"Oi!" he yelped. "I'm gettin' right tired of you all insinuatin' that Mr. Frodo and I are gay!"
"Well, now, to be fair, Sam, we're not the only ones who are saying that," I reminded him.
"That's right," Pippin chimed in. "Do you want to go back on the internet and look--"
"NO!" Sam and Frodo shouted together. The two hobbits were looking increasingly angry and a felt the bottom of my stomach drop a bit. Normally, I tease…anybody. That's a good way to tell if someone is "in" with me. If I don't like a person, they are deemed unworthy of any joking around time and I don't even bother. However, this was not funny to either of them; and I was really didn't want to piss off two of my guests five minutes into the sleepover.
'We've gotta fix this,' I thought to myself.
I made a very contrite face. "Frodo? Sam? I'm sorry."
"I am as well," Legolas added.
"Us too," Aragorn and Gimli said.
"We're sorry too, right, Pippin?" Merry said, nudging his cousin with his foot.
"Yes, don't be mad! We LOVE you!!!" Pippin cried melodramatically. "Let's show them, Merry!" They both rushed forward knocked over Sam and Frodo, smothering them in hugs.
"Aaaaawww!"
"OK, is everybody feeling better?" I asked.
"Yes!" came the reply.
"Thank goodness, because this is all getting a little too "Full House" for me." I told them. "Now, you guys," I said to Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli, "should decide where you want to sleep tonight. You four do the same when you're done," I said to the hobbits, who were still having their hug-fest on the floor.
"Do you care where we go?" Aragorn asked.
"Not really, as long as the arrangements can be made without verbal fights or physical injuries, I'm happy." I replied.
That's all for Ch. 3, folks! Thanks again for reading! Review and let me know if you loved it or hated it, or thought it was just okay! I don't mind criticisms, just try to be a little more constructive than simply saying "You suck." Let me know how I can STOP sucking! ;-)