DISCLAIMER- Why are you reading this disclaimer? It will only make you weep because you will realize that I own nothing! You don't want to know that I don't own any of the characters, because it will make you miserable. Stop reading this disclaimer right now! It's too sad! Why are you still reading?
PLEASE DON'T READ AND WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T REVIEW!
Chapter Seven
There are many, many, many, (times a gazillion) types of books in the world, just as there are many different kinds of people. That way everyone can find a book that he or she likes. There are books about wizards and witches who attend schools and do magic. There are books in which heros go on quests in order to destroy rings of power. There are
also plenty of books about superheros who are part spider. But one type of book that nobody in their right mind would want to read is a book about law. If you were taking a test and the question asks you to name three synonyms of the word boring, you could write dull, uninteresting and a law book, and the teacher would give you credit.
The only reason someone would read a law book is if it were either nessesary to save their lives, or it held a piece of paper with a coded message on it. The Potter's reason was that they were sure something in a boring law book would save their miserable lives.
"Goodness sakes." Madam Hooch exclaimed, when she saw the Potters picking out books on law. "I thought you were interested in exciting things like Quidditch, the history of Hogwarts, and chess."
"Oh, we are." Harry said quickly. "But lately, I've been really interested in law and the court system."
"Especially inheritance laws." Hermione added, hoping Madam Hooch would be able to suggest a book.
"Inheritance?" The lady said in surprise. "Dear, I don't think you'll get much of an inheritance from Lord Voldemort."
"We know." Ron said. And they did know. They knew that Voldemort would probably rather burn his stuff then let them enjoy it after he died. Not that they would enjoy it, and not that he was going to die any time soon, unfortunately.
"I've been reading through all my books about wedding ceremonies and such." Madam Hooch said. "that way I'll be all prepared for the play!"
"Are you excited?" asked Harry.
"Oh yes!" she said. "I've always wanted to act on Broadway since I was a little girl. I figure this is as close as I'm going to get to my dream career." She looked at her watch. "I'd better go. The Quidditch game is on! Ireland verses Norway!" she rushed down the stairs, leaving the orphans behind.
"I guess we can't talk to her about our suspicions." Hermione sighed sadly.
"Enough talk!" Harry ordered. "Let's get cracking at those books!"
They all picked up books from the Law shelf and began reading. After about 20 minutes, Harry asked hopefully. "Anyone found anything?"
Hermione yawned. "Nothing helpful. How about you Ron?. Ron?"
They looked at Ron who was lying on the sofa, breathing heavily. His head drooped and a book lay open on his lap.
"Well, he got to the second page before he konked out." Hermione said, trying to be enthusiastic.
"What? Who?" Ron opened his eyes. "I didn't do it!"
"You're right, you didn't read anything!" Harry said.
"I'm not a strong reader." Ron shrugged. "Hermione's the best. I'm going to watch Quidditch." He got up and stumbled out of the room. Hermione and Harry rolled their eyes at each other.
"He's no help." Harry muttered. "I read about a stone that supposedly turned everything to gold. Sounds ludicrous. Anyway, an old man was going to give it to his friend when he died. Turns out, they decided to destory the stone because it made everyone greedy."
"Well, our fortune is certainly making Voldemort greedy." Hermione nodded. "But we can't destroy it. I read about a half-giant who wanted to give his hut and dog to his baby dragon named Norbert when he died."
"What happened?" Harry asked.
"Since dragons are illegal they had to get rid of it."
Just then, Ron's voice called up from downstairs. "Lousy ref! What a bad call! Stupid, dumb, Norwedigans! Bet they couldn't even fly twice around the field without falling off their cheap brooms!"
"Ireland's losing?" Harry cried. "They need my support!" He rushed down the stairs, leaving Hermione with the fate of all three orphans in her hands.
"Great." Hermione muttered. "Figures. That's just like a boy!"
Then she heard a voice from the doorway. "You there! What are you doing?" It was one of Voldemort's assistants, the tall man with the silvery-blond hair. He snatched the book. "Why would anyone in their right mind want to read about law?" he spat.
They would if it was nessesary to save their lives, Hermione thought.
"Where are the rest of your siblings?" he asked.
"Downstairs, watching Quidditch." Hermione answered.
"Quidditch is on?" the man exclaimed. "You mean, the Ireland verse Norway game! I can't belive I'm missing it!" He ran downstairs.
Hermione blinked, then looked at her watch. The Quidditch game would be over in two minutes. She didn't have enough time! Looking around, she grabbed the first book she saw. It looked extremely long and tedious, with an old, faded red cover and no title. She tucked it into the pocket of her robes.
Then the blond-haired man yelled from downstairs. "What?? Ireland WON?!" Then he began swearing like a crazed man. Finally, he calmed down and yelled, "Orphan, come down here! We're going home!"
Hermione hurried down the stairs, hoping that he wouldn't take out his anger at Ireland on her and her siblings. As she felt the book in her robe, she wondered if the book she'd choosen would save their lives.
I'M IN HIDING RIGHT NOW SO THERE IS NO WAY TO REACH ME WITH YOUR REVIEWS!
REVIEWERS-
goindown2southpark- I'm glad you liked my story. Thanks for reviewing.
Brittany Malfoy- I want to do all the books, but it'll probably take a looooong time. I am planning chracters, like I know who Montgomery's going to be. I've got a good idea about the Quagmire's too. I'll decide after I finish this weither I want to do another one.
That person over there- Yeah, I was surprised how well that Harry, Hermione and Ron fit into the Lemony Snicket world too. Some characters don't work so well, thought. I also think that Hermione Potter sounds a bit...... weird.
ERMonkey, Queen of Insanity- Here's my update. Sorry it took so long. See, I have this thing called homework. It's a terrible thing that my brother Eugene (name changed because Eugene is a funny name) doesn't seem to have any of. Lucky. Seventh graders have it easy.
PLEASE DON'T READ AND WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T REVIEW!
Chapter Seven
There are many, many, many, (times a gazillion) types of books in the world, just as there are many different kinds of people. That way everyone can find a book that he or she likes. There are books about wizards and witches who attend schools and do magic. There are books in which heros go on quests in order to destroy rings of power. There are
also plenty of books about superheros who are part spider. But one type of book that nobody in their right mind would want to read is a book about law. If you were taking a test and the question asks you to name three synonyms of the word boring, you could write dull, uninteresting and a law book, and the teacher would give you credit.
The only reason someone would read a law book is if it were either nessesary to save their lives, or it held a piece of paper with a coded message on it. The Potter's reason was that they were sure something in a boring law book would save their miserable lives.
"Goodness sakes." Madam Hooch exclaimed, when she saw the Potters picking out books on law. "I thought you were interested in exciting things like Quidditch, the history of Hogwarts, and chess."
"Oh, we are." Harry said quickly. "But lately, I've been really interested in law and the court system."
"Especially inheritance laws." Hermione added, hoping Madam Hooch would be able to suggest a book.
"Inheritance?" The lady said in surprise. "Dear, I don't think you'll get much of an inheritance from Lord Voldemort."
"We know." Ron said. And they did know. They knew that Voldemort would probably rather burn his stuff then let them enjoy it after he died. Not that they would enjoy it, and not that he was going to die any time soon, unfortunately.
"I've been reading through all my books about wedding ceremonies and such." Madam Hooch said. "that way I'll be all prepared for the play!"
"Are you excited?" asked Harry.
"Oh yes!" she said. "I've always wanted to act on Broadway since I was a little girl. I figure this is as close as I'm going to get to my dream career." She looked at her watch. "I'd better go. The Quidditch game is on! Ireland verses Norway!" she rushed down the stairs, leaving the orphans behind.
"I guess we can't talk to her about our suspicions." Hermione sighed sadly.
"Enough talk!" Harry ordered. "Let's get cracking at those books!"
They all picked up books from the Law shelf and began reading. After about 20 minutes, Harry asked hopefully. "Anyone found anything?"
Hermione yawned. "Nothing helpful. How about you Ron?. Ron?"
They looked at Ron who was lying on the sofa, breathing heavily. His head drooped and a book lay open on his lap.
"Well, he got to the second page before he konked out." Hermione said, trying to be enthusiastic.
"What? Who?" Ron opened his eyes. "I didn't do it!"
"You're right, you didn't read anything!" Harry said.
"I'm not a strong reader." Ron shrugged. "Hermione's the best. I'm going to watch Quidditch." He got up and stumbled out of the room. Hermione and Harry rolled their eyes at each other.
"He's no help." Harry muttered. "I read about a stone that supposedly turned everything to gold. Sounds ludicrous. Anyway, an old man was going to give it to his friend when he died. Turns out, they decided to destory the stone because it made everyone greedy."
"Well, our fortune is certainly making Voldemort greedy." Hermione nodded. "But we can't destroy it. I read about a half-giant who wanted to give his hut and dog to his baby dragon named Norbert when he died."
"What happened?" Harry asked.
"Since dragons are illegal they had to get rid of it."
Just then, Ron's voice called up from downstairs. "Lousy ref! What a bad call! Stupid, dumb, Norwedigans! Bet they couldn't even fly twice around the field without falling off their cheap brooms!"
"Ireland's losing?" Harry cried. "They need my support!" He rushed down the stairs, leaving Hermione with the fate of all three orphans in her hands.
"Great." Hermione muttered. "Figures. That's just like a boy!"
Then she heard a voice from the doorway. "You there! What are you doing?" It was one of Voldemort's assistants, the tall man with the silvery-blond hair. He snatched the book. "Why would anyone in their right mind want to read about law?" he spat.
They would if it was nessesary to save their lives, Hermione thought.
"Where are the rest of your siblings?" he asked.
"Downstairs, watching Quidditch." Hermione answered.
"Quidditch is on?" the man exclaimed. "You mean, the Ireland verse Norway game! I can't belive I'm missing it!" He ran downstairs.
Hermione blinked, then looked at her watch. The Quidditch game would be over in two minutes. She didn't have enough time! Looking around, she grabbed the first book she saw. It looked extremely long and tedious, with an old, faded red cover and no title. She tucked it into the pocket of her robes.
Then the blond-haired man yelled from downstairs. "What?? Ireland WON?!" Then he began swearing like a crazed man. Finally, he calmed down and yelled, "Orphan, come down here! We're going home!"
Hermione hurried down the stairs, hoping that he wouldn't take out his anger at Ireland on her and her siblings. As she felt the book in her robe, she wondered if the book she'd choosen would save their lives.
I'M IN HIDING RIGHT NOW SO THERE IS NO WAY TO REACH ME WITH YOUR REVIEWS!
REVIEWERS-
goindown2southpark- I'm glad you liked my story. Thanks for reviewing.
Brittany Malfoy- I want to do all the books, but it'll probably take a looooong time. I am planning chracters, like I know who Montgomery's going to be. I've got a good idea about the Quagmire's too. I'll decide after I finish this weither I want to do another one.
That person over there- Yeah, I was surprised how well that Harry, Hermione and Ron fit into the Lemony Snicket world too. Some characters don't work so well, thought. I also think that Hermione Potter sounds a bit...... weird.
ERMonkey, Queen of Insanity- Here's my update. Sorry it took so long. See, I have this thing called homework. It's a terrible thing that my brother Eugene (name changed because Eugene is a funny name) doesn't seem to have any of. Lucky. Seventh graders have it easy.