standard disclaimers apply

A/N (2016): The bulk of what you'll read in these first eleven chapters I wrote when I was 15-17. It's, hmm, interesting looking back haha! I've been impressed and horrified in roughly equal measures. Anyway, looking for something to make me feel productive while procrastinating on other projects, I've begun to make a few edits, which I'll upload if, as and when I get to them. Mostly these will be pretty light touch, but a few will be more significant, with some possible plot implications. Believe it or not, I still think about this story a lot and I would eventually like to finish it, if I can. My stamina for long stories isn't very good, and my grasp of war and politics (and mental health and religion...!) is even worse, which don't bode well, but maybe one day…

Voice of God

by Bryony

Part One

Chang Wufei threw down his pen in frustration and leaned back in his swivel-chair with a dissatisfied grunt. One hundred and eleven fresh trainee reports had just landed on his desk, and it was his job to evaluate each and every one of them for everything up to and including good grammar. In addition to the grades he had to offer each of the recruits, he also had to write up a separate evaluation of each one for his colleagues. Put bluntly, it simply wasn't his day.

"When did I turn into some sort of school teacher?" he grumbled softly to himself, "This isn't supposed to be my job!" He had, after all, signed up to the Preventers as a field agent. At worst, his job on quiet days was supposed to entail writing these sorts of reports. But somewhere down the line, as Preventers had grown and fires became fewer and less severe, someone, somehow, had decided that his skills could also be put to good use as an independent examiner in the recruitment and training process of new agents. So while he didn't have to waste his time actually working with the brats - Noin had that particular pleasure these days, God only knew how she stood it - he did on occasion have to read their bilge.

Overcome with a combination of boredom and disgust, Wufei swung away from his desk and flipped on the tiny black-and-white television crammed in the corner of his office atop some filing cabinets. The news was just coming on, a most welcome distraction, although not for long.

Wufei's attention was soon fixed entirely on the screen, cursing the static-laced poor resolution of the cheap set. He squinted, as if that could bring the picture into better focus, mouth falling agape as he watched the story that was rolling. "New to headlines this evening is the unexpected committal of former Gundam pilot Duo Maxwell. Mr Maxwell, aged only twenty-one years old, was admitted to the St. John's Psychiatric Institute of colony cluster L-2 this afternoon. The reasons behind his hospitalization are not known at this time, but speculation is rife…" In the upper left hand corner of the screen a tiny clip was playing, showing Duo's familiar shape between two uniformed personnel, being essentially frog-marched towards the doors of said institution. His braid was half undone, as if he had just been fighting.

He probably was… Wufei realized, shaking his head in shock.

The door to his office opened just then, admitting his fiancée, Sally Po. "'Evening," was all she managed to get out before Wufei cut her off.

"Have you seen this?" he demanded, jabbing a finger towards the screen. The story was just finishing up.

"Is that Duo?" she asked, frowning at the image just before it disappeared.

Wufei flipped off the television, too stunned to bother with the other headlines. He nodded in response to Sally's question. "He's been committed," he mumbled, beginning to feel numb.

"What? Why?"

"They didn't say… 'Details at eleven,'" he quoted with a derisive sniff. The image of Duo being forcibly escorted towards the building played through his mind again, and indignation began to rise in his chest. "Maxwell, in an asylum - it's ludicrous. How can they think that there's anything seriously wrong with him? …Sally?"

She was staring hard at the tiled floor, a thumbnail tugging restlessly at her lower lip. "Didn't he refer to himself as the God of Death during the war?" she asked, not looking up as she anticipated Wufei's reaction.

"Don't tell me you're buying into this - this garbage! I need hardly remind you of the problems others of us faced - Commander Une, that Marquise man, Heero Yuy, myself…the list goes on. Do you mean to suggest that we all need institutionalization?"

"No, of course not. I'm simply pointing out -" She was interrupted as Noin burst in.

"Did you see -?" she began.

"Indeed. We saw," Wufei interrupted bitterly. "I don't suppose you have any more information than that anchorwoman did?"

"No. Neither does Une. You can imagine how pleased she is that her first notification of such an incident came through civilian channels." Noin shook her head, a mixture of incredulity and pity clear in her eyes. "How could this have happened? Jesus… Poor Duo."

"Poor Duo?" Wufei repeated, his shock at the words seeping into his voice. "That cannot possibly be all you have to say on the situation, Noin. This is Duo Maxwell we're speaking of - there is no way he is any less sane than the rest of us."

"I never said he wasn't!" Noin retorted tartly. "Needing help isn't saying someone's insane, you know. Duo's only been admitted for observation, the news said. Nothing more has been released about his mental state - you saw the story, Wufei. There's no need to leap to conclusions. I'm sure he'll be out in a few days."

Wufei snorted. "I certainly did see the story, and the clip playing above it too. Duo was not being escorted into the building, he was being dragged. His admittance to this institution is clearly involuntary, and such treatment would never have occurred if there were any intention of releasing him in only the next few days." Wufei spun away from the conversation, his jaw clenched tightly shut in anger bordering on rage.

Six years - six years the war had been over, and now someone had chosen to place one of them behind bars? And no, it could not even be a proper cell, with steel bars and harsh keepers; it was a prison disguised in kindness, where the degradation would be so much more hurtful to a man like Duo Maxwell.

"Please, calm down, Wufei."

And no, Sally wouldn't understand, would she? This low blow dealt, no matter how swiftly Duo was released, could never be taken back; the harm it could cause would have already been done, and Sally would never understand. The anger drained out of him, and Wufei slumped backwards in his seat, almost prepared to tell his partner just that, but the words failed him, and he sat in silence.

One question haunted him above all others, and this he spoke aloud: "Why?"

"I'm sure that's what we'd all like to know," Sally sighed. "Noin, you're sure Une doesn't know anything more than what the news has broadcast?"

"Quite sure." The woman nodded. "I was in there with her when the program came on. She considered calling Miss Schbeiker, but L-2 is in its night cycle right now, and the Commander doesn't consider this an urgent enough matter to call so late."

Wufei raised a brow. She may not, but I certainly do, he thought. Aloud he mused, "I wonder if Yuy knows about this."

"I shouldn't be surprised," Sally murmured wryly. "Wherever the hell that sneaky kid is, he probably knows more about it than any of us are likely to find out tonight." A thoughtful frown passed over her face, and she continued, "Which brings me back to my original point in coming here, Wufei - the two of us had a dinner reservation for an hour ago."

Tactfully, Noin chose that point to leave, just in time to miss hearing the particularly colorful stream of oaths forcing their way past Wufei's lips. He wound up staring woefully at the stack of reports sitting on his desk and muttering, "Sally, I'm sorry."

"That's all right. I suspected you might say you couldn't go - I was just stopping by to put your mind at ease, because I can't get away from the paperwork either." Sally rolled her head backwards with a sigh and a wry grin. "I swear, if I knew there was going to be this much paperwork I never would have joined the Preventers. I've really got to speak to Une and see if there's some way around it."

"Look, no matter how late I work I'm not going to finish these tonight. What do you have left to do? Perhaps when you're finished we could get a late bite somewhere."

"That sounds nice. Give me two hours; if I'm not done by then it's not going to happen. See you in a few, Wufei." Preventer policy frowned on public displays of affection between agents, but then they weren't a particularly showy couple anyway; Sally walked out the door without so much as a kiss on the cheek.

Wufei watched her go, following the slim line of her figure with his eyes until his office door swung firmly shut. Assured that he was alone, and would be for some time, Wufei shoved aside the stack of reports on his desk and picked up the telephone. Memory alone did not suffice to recall the latest telephone number Duo and that Schbeiker woman had shared, so he dialed up the international operator and had her patch him through.

The telephone was answered quickly, assuring Wufei that he had interrupted no one's sleep. "Who is this?" the voice on the other end of the line demanded, without so much as a hello.

"Miss Hilde Schbeiker? This is Chang Wufei of the Preventer organization."

"Wufei?" There was a thoughtful edge to Hilde's voice now. "You piloted a Gundam during the war, didn't you?"

"I did," he acknowledged curtly. "Miss Schbeiker -"

"I don't want to speak to you. Don't phone here again!" she snapped. There was a resounding click as the phone was slammed down, followed by a moment of silence before the dial tone began to buzz steadily into his ear.

Wufei set the telephone down into its cradle slowly, mentally replaying the brief conversation. There was no doubt in his mind now that Duo's committal was a direct result of the fact that Duo had piloted during the war. An errant thought itched in the back of Wufei's mind, reminding him of Duo's easy smile after he killed a man, of the dark hysteria lurking in the young man's eyes, of the horrific nightmares Wufei himself had been witness to on more than one occasion during their long imprisonment at the hands of OZ.

But, no - they all faced the same post-war strains, or at least Wufei imagined they must; at the very least, he did. And the vision of Duo cracking under such pressure was…unimaginable. "I won't believe it," Wufei hissed.

He turned back to the paperwork viciously, positively outraged by the flippant interest of his colleagues and the idea that he could be expected to work when such atrocities were being done to his fellow pilots. The pen in Wufei's hand snapped in two, the plastic giving far too easily to provide any satisfaction. Red ink gushed out, dribbling over Wufei's hand and onto the neatly pressed trousers of his uniform and the tiled floor of his office.

"Damn it all!" he cursed, flinging the bits of pen away from him and wiping the excess ink from himself with some tissues. A quick glance at the clock on the wall informed him that he had plenty of time to go home and change before coming back to pick up Sally for their 'quick bite.' In fact, there would be time to spare.

That decided him. Wufei shoved the unread reports into a drawer to deal with later and walked quickly out the door. He didn't bother to inform Sally that he was leaving - he decided it was better that she didn't know.

Wufei's apartment was a mere fifteen minute tram ride away, and it took him only another five to change his clothes. Then, rather than waiting for another tram to take him back to the office, Wufei turned south and began walking.

Strasbourg was still a relatively small city for all that Preventer headquarters were based there. It had reached its peak population sometime around AC 82, before the exodus into outer space was fully underway, and the only people left on planet Earth were the very wealthy and the very poor. Then, it had shrunk back in on itself, and although now, after the war, the times were slowly changing once again, it was still possible to walk most everywhere you might want to go without being all night about it.

It was a muggy night in June, and Wufei felt he needed the air. The city was alive around him, the lights of the business district shining so brightly as to block out the starlight high above. As he passed into the old town things quieted around him; the shops here were closed and the streets were lit less with neon and more with the light spilling out of people's homes. Sally's neighborhood lay just to the west of here, but that was not Wufei's destination.

He walked on, passed through the tiny red light district, over one of Strasbourg's many bridges, and finally into another residential area. It was darker here, less populated, and the streetlights were poorly maintained and farther apart. This was one of the districts to bear the scars of changing times. A pedestrian tunnel let him cut under a few cross streets without waiting for traffic, and Wufei took it, although it smelled faintly of excrement and water dripped steadily from the ceramic brick tiles lining the walls and ceiling, despite the fact it hadn't rained for weeks. A long dead pigeon greeted him at the other side, its wing partially torn off, perhaps mauled by a dog. He nudged the body aside with the toe of his shoe, grimacing in distaste.

Wufei's visits here were few and far between. He never felt welcome for a start, and then the feeling of urban decay left a bad taste in his mouth. He was not entirely sure why - as slums went, Wufei had seen, even stayed in, worse. Perhaps because this was close to home. Close to Sally's home.

He finally rounded on an ancient apartment block, derelict and close to collapse in some places. The city board was in the middle of unending discussions planning to put it under the wrecking ball. Wufei dropped over the iron railing separating the ground floor of the building from the basement levels, and walked over to the once ornate door. He stepped up close to it, close enough to smell its rot, and rapped lightly against it three times.

The young man who opened the door at Wufei's knock looked younger than he really was. He was short, and wiry despite his muscle, and he had a boyish haircut, with dark bangs falling across his eyes. "Hello Heero," Wufei greeted him, stepping inside.

"Wufei. What brings you here?"

"I assume you saw the news earlier this evening."

"I don't watch television," Heero contradicted him, following Wufei into what may once have been a living room, where he seated himself on an upturned crate. "I don't even own one."

"Of course you don't," Wufei muttered grouchily, hardly in the mood for polite conversation. "Not living in this rat hole. You still get the news somehow though, so I'm sure you know about Duo being taken into a mental hospital for observation, right?"

Heero nodded sagely. "Of course I know," he agreed. "I was the one who had him put in."

Wufei may have actually done a double-take he was so taken aback. "You?" he gasped, and was momentarily speechless. He felt the knife point of betrayal as keenly as if it was he himself who had been stabbed with it. And then the indignation bubbled out of him, like blood from the wound. "What the hell for? What were you thinking, Yuy?" He did not try to conceal the hurt outrage in his voice or stop the accusations he felt boiling on his tongue. "Good God, Heero, Duo Maxwell was the closest you came to calling anyone a friend - how could you do something like this to him - what gives you the right to do that to any one of us, huh? Are you listening?! Answer me!"

The calm on Heero's face was like a punch to the gut; the blank expression only fueled Wufei's anger. Then Heero looked up at him, and Wufei's anger died.

"I'll answer you, Wufei, but I don't expect you to understand. I'm telling you Duo has lost his mind. Go see him for yourself. You won't believe me until you do. I promise you this… I did what I did because Duo was the first person I ever called a friend. If you're angry because you think I found it easy -" Heero broke off and shook his head. "I'm not going to justify myself to you."

"Explain it to me," Wufei insisted. He would have pleaded if he could, the need to understand was so strong. He had trusted Heero, up until just a moment ago, and wanted to be able to do so again. There had to be a version of this he had not thought of that made some kind of sense. "I'm not going anywhere until you do."

Heero was silent as a stone.

Wufei's clenched fist was flying before he even recognized his desire to hit Heero, and then it was connecting with soft flesh, driving against the skin, bruising the blood vessels in Heero's cheek.

The young man retaliated, leaping easily from his makeshift chair to his feet to shove Wufei backwards. The scuffle lasted mere moments, and ended when a knife blade appeared from Heero's sleeve and was held firmly against the base of Wufei's throat, just beneath his Adam's apple.

"Leave," Heero told him coldly.

Reluctantly, without a word, Wufei complied.

On his way back to Preventers headquarters he bought a shuttle ticket to L-2. Heero would know, Wufei was sure, because nothing ever happened any longer that Heero was not aware of. Commander Une would have to know that he was taking a few days off of work, and he supposed he would have to tell Sally, but beyond that, Wufei wanted as much privacy as he could get. He would find out once and for all what was going on, and he had to do it alone or risk having his judgment clouded.

When Wufei stepped back into his office, there was a message waiting for him from Quatre, demanding if he knew what had happened to Duo. Wufei deleted it, unable to face the thought of Quatre's sorrowful expression, and then stepped across the hall to fetch Sally.

She leaned back in her chair and stared up at him, her eyes happy and her lips upturned in a welcoming smile. Her tawny hair was pulled loosely back from her face in the two short twists Wufei had become so accustomed to seeing over the years; they fell over her shoulders to frame her face. The look was so very characteristic of her, and she seemed so powerful and strong sitting there; eternal as the Earth.

If Wufei had only known what lay ahead, he would have taken more time to memorize the picture she made like that.