standard disclaimers apply

Part Two

Sally had wanted to see him off. Wufei had purposely left half an hour early to avoid her. The last thing he wanted right then was to be anywhere near another human being, at least, not another human being who hadn't been what he'd been through, someone who hadn't piloted a Gundam during the war.

Heero was the only other pilot on Earth, and Wufei and Duo had been the only people to know where he was. Now Duo was, for all intents and purposes, imprisoned; Trowa wandering somewhere with that ridiculous circus of his on L-3; and Quatre trying to manage his father's vast corporation. Wufei shook his head - the entire situation was one giant ulcer.

The shuttle ride to L-2 was long, and boring. Wufei had brought a book, but didn't read a single word of it. He was too intent on other things to concentrate on anything else, though he kept trying to shove it all from his thoughts. Uselessly, of course.

Heero - of all people, Heero - believed Duo had gone mad. The way he'd said it - "I was the one who had him put in" - still made Wufei's blood boil. He must have had Hilde's cooperation to do it, not to mention that of the doctors at the institute. If Duo hadn't signed himself in voluntarily, which of course he had not, then there would need to be an alleged threat of harm to self or others to justify an involuntary committal. But Duo was a Gundam pilot, there was always threat of harm, Wufei thought derisively.

Dwelling on the how made no sense, Wufei knew - he'd be certain to find out the details soon enough, but it was impossible not to speculate. Finally, several hours later, the shuttle began docking. Wufei put his book away, and pulled out his duffel from the overhead compartment. There was the usual time-consuming security check, and then Wufei was free to roam the colony as he so chose. He checked into a hotel, and unpacked the change of clothes he'd brought with him. Following lunch in the downstairs restaurant, Wufei went straight to business. He had never been one for wasting time, and on this trip he had no time to waste - when Une had asked how long he was going to be gone, he had promised to be back at work before the week was out.

The St John's clinic was not difficult to find, but it took Wufei forty-five minutes to get there by bus from his hotel. It was another ride spent in silence, but this was a silence born of fear rather than of thoughtfulness. With each passing block there grew in Wufei an icy lump, and a worry of what he would find at his destination. Outwardly he was, of course, composed; he sat very still in his seat watching the streets and buildings roll by, but in Wufei's mind were playing all the scenarios that up until that point he had managed to keep at bay, scenes in which he found Duo in all the shades of madness he could imagine.

When he arrived, the institution was not nearly so imposing as Wufei had built it up to be. It was a red-brick, two-storey building with lots of windows. The surrounding grounds were cheery, with neatly trimmed evergreen hedges and carefully weeded flowerbeds along the path to the sliding glass double doors of the main entrance.

Inside, a chalkboard displayed the visiting hours. Wufei had timed his arrival well; he would have plenty of time to see Duo. A measured voice greeted him from behind the reception counter; Wufei turned his attention to the young woman there.

"I'm here to see a patient," he told her. "Duo Maxwell."

Was it his imagination, or did she actually wince? The skeptical look she gave him next certainly wasn't his imagination, nor the note of discomfort in her voice as she asked, "Are you a relation?" Wufei let his raised eyebrows speak for themselves. A relation, indeed. As if it wasn't obvious. She explained, "It's against policy for non-relatives without pre-authorization to visit patients until they've been with us for at least forty-eight hours. In Mr Maxwell's case, the only authorized visitors are the two people who signed his admission papers…and we've already had a few nosy journalists scrounging for a story to contend with, so you can see you're out of luck."

"Yes, I see." After just a moment's hesitation, Wufei fished into his pocket and withdrew his Preventers badge, displaying it for the woman to see. Her eyes widened.

"What do Preventers want here?"

"That's privileged information."

The nurse crossed her arms and squarely met his gaze, unmoved. "So is everything to do with our patients."

Wufei was acutely aware that this was a grave abuse of his position, and yet he was beyond stopping himself. Gritting his teeth, he said as vaguely as possible, yet doing his best to fill his tone with significance, "You are aware that Duo Maxwell is a former Gundam pilot?"

"I think anyone who wasn't a few days ago certainly is by now," the nurse replied tartly. "But if you're concerned about his mental state you'd be better off going through the proper channels and speaking to one of his doctors." She stared at him stonily. This wasn't going at all how Wufei had hoped.

"I would be delighted to speak to one of his doctors," he said, doing his best to maintain a level tone, "so long as I also see Duo. Under supervision, if that's what it takes." Seeing she was about to deny him again, he lost his temper. "Who is it here that grants visitor authorization, then, if that's what you're so interested in? It's obviously not the person actually being seen - if Duo had any say in it, I would be in there already!"

The woman took a step backwards from him, and though it would hardly help his case Wufei took some small, spiteful satisfaction from that. He'd obviously rattled her more than he'd first realized, because instead making some smart retort, she said in a much smaller voice, "You know him, then."

Wufei considered, then said in a low voice, "Duo Maxwell isn't the only former Gundam pilot here." He heard her gasp, and glanced away, ashamed of himself.

The next thing he knew, the nurse was slapping a pass down onto the desk in front of him. "Fill in your name on this and clip it to your shirt," she instructed him. "I'll have someone escort you to Mr Maxwell's room."

He tried to meet her eye, but she refused to catch his gaze, turning immediately to the telephone beside her and instructing a colleague to come meet them in reception. Wufei penned his name into the pass quickly, muttering his thanks to the nurse, which she doggedly ignored. He got the sense she was relieved to hand him off to her colleague, another female attendant dressed in green scrubs, who used a pass of her own to unlock the door leading from reception onto the ward itself and began to lead him down the maze of corridors.

"Mr Maxwell is only in for observation, as I'm sure you know, Mr -" she glanced at his nametag "- Chang, is it? That means you're allowed to stay for the full three hour visitation period, so long as you understand that our hospital policy is not one of privacy - we record all visits for safety and security reasons. Also for these reasons, we ask that you do not bring any substance - be it food, drink, medicinal, or otherwise - with you into any of our dormitory rooms, and under no circumstances may anything of this kind be given to any of our patients. You understand, of course, the reason for such precautions."

"Of course," Wufei murmured. "How long is a standard observation period?"

"There is no standard time frame for these things, Mr Chang. It depends on the patient. We like to be certain of their mental state before making any further recommendations, for release to outpatient care or otherwise."

He huffed impatiently. "So you're saying you haven't been able to draw any conclusions about Duo yet."

"I really can't discuss the specifics of any of our patients. There are strict confidentiality rules we adhere to."

The conversation came to an abrupt end as they drew up outside a closed door, numbered with a gilt 97. "Here we are. Now, Mr Chang, if you have any insecure items with you, I must ask that you put them in the hospital's temporary safekeeping at this time." Fortunately, Wufei's pockets were all empty; he was allowed to go in without handing anything over.

The nurse opened the door for him with a cheery smile, tapping lightly on the chill metal. Wufei peeked over her shoulder, through the clear plastic window, but his narrow view was obscured by the nurse's head.

"You've got a visitor, Mr Maxwell."

There was no response from within, and the nurse apparently hadn't expected one, for she turned on her heels and left. Wufei stepped inside hesitantly, allowing the heavy door to swing closed behind him. It shut with a slam, and Wufei almost jumped.

Duo was kneeling beside the foot of the bed, the familiar locks of braided hair trailing down his back and brushing the floor beside his ankles. His face was hidden by his forearms, so that Wufei couldn't tell whether or not his eyes were open. He cleared his throat to catch Duo's attention.

The room was practically barren. A low, narrow bed, a rickety chest of drawers, a closet, and a nightstand was the extent of the furnishings. No pictures adorned the whitewashed walls. A window was embedded into the far wall, and outside the reinforced glass Wufei could see some shrubs scraping up against it, scratching against the outside walls.

He coughed again, for Duo still hadn't moved. He made a move toward the bed, and finally said the other pilot's name: "Duo."

The standard-issue wool blanket was scratchy under the palms of Wufei's hands, and the sheets underneath rustled when he sat down. "Duo," he said again.

A few more minutes passed without response, and loath to touch the other young man, Wufei sighed in exasperation, almost prepared to give up and leave. But then Duo stirred, and lifted up his head to look at him. There was a faint glimmer of astonishment in his eyes.

"Wufei!" he cried, rocking back on the balls of his feet in undisguised surprise. "When the hell did you get here?"

Frowning his confusion, Wufei was slow to answer, and when he did the tone was pointed. "About five minutes ago. I tried to speak to you, but you didn't answer me."

"I guess I fell asleep," Duo confessed sheepishly, starting to grin a little. "Sorry about that. But what are you doing here? I haven't seen you in three years practically!"

Wufei cleared his throat again. Now that it had come to the point, he would much rather return to more mundane topics than bite the bullet. His fingers clenched tightly in the roughly-spun wool of Duo's blanket. "I spoke to Heero," he began, and watched as Duo's face began to darken, the light that had been in his eyes upon waking gone dead.

"The little fuck," Duo muttered, and then more loudly, "You think I'm nuts then." He stood, spinning away to walk to the window and stare moodily out.

"Did I say that?" Wufei snapped to Duo's back.

"Well why the hell not?!" The shout echoed off of the thick walls, reverberating in the tiny room before fading slowly away. "Everyone else I've talked to does - Hilde does, the fucking doctors do. Christ, Wufei, even I'm starting to think I might be!" There was a strangled hiss of breath, and Wufei watched Duo's white-knuckled grip on the windowsill with interest. He stayed silent while Duo regained control of himself.

He waited until the rise and fall of Duo's shoulders had slowed, and then he demanded, "Why?"

"Didn't Heero tell you?" Duo asked bitterly, turning around again to slide his back down the wall until he was squatting on the floor. Wufei shook his head. "I'm a threat to myself and to humanity. I suffer from hallucinations, see and hear things I shouldn't. I'm a dangerous, dangerous man, Wufei." He began to snicker, the laughter low and grating, eerily similar to what Wufei remembered hearing over his comm unit during the war. "Well, we're all dangerous, but I'm the crazy one. I'm the one who believes in things that aren't there. I heard the doc talking to Hilde yesterday when she signed the papers to have me put in here. She gave a tentative diagnosis of schizophrenia. Classic case, she said." Duo's chuckles grew louder in volume and intensity. He could barely get his words out around the laughter, and Wufei watched in a sick, horrified fascination. "Well she's an idiot. The entire fucking world, Wufei - idiots."

Wufei felt he had to protest, and said, "The nurse I spoke to told me that the hospital waits before offering diagnosis."

The laughter stopped. "Who'd you talk to?" Duo asked, his voice not straying beyond casual tones.

"I don't know her name," Wufei admitted. "She was short, brown hair and eyes. She was…very protective of you."

Duo shot him a pitying look laced with amusement. "Man, Wufei, when are you gonna learn, you always make things easier for yourself in life by knowing people's names?"

"I got in here eventually," Wufei defended himself. No need to admit the runaround he'd had doing it. "Why do they think you belong in here? Schizophrenia? What are they talking about?"

"I bet you were talking to Rosemary," Duo said, as if Wufei hadn't just spoken. "She seems nice. Young, though. I don't think she's been here more than a couple of months. Doesn't really know the ropes, just the protocol. Still thinks she's making a difference, or something."

"You haven't even been here forty-eight hours," Wufei pointed out skeptically. "I suppose that makes you an expert?"

Duo was across the room in mere seconds. "Back off Wufei," he snarled. "You don't know what you're on about. Six hours, twelve, twenty-four, thirty-six, forty-eight, I don't give a crap how many hours it's been, it's been the most hellish time of my life, all right?"

Wufei batted away the finger jabbing towards his face. "Answer my question. I still don't understand why you're in here. Tell me what's going on."

"I've already told you," Duo growled. "I don't want to talk to you anymore. Back off, Wufei."

"Damn it, Maxwell, why do you always have to be so stubborn, huh?" Patience worn thin, Wufei didn't wait for a reply before storming out of the room. A nurse's station was located not far away, and when Wufei was seen emerging, one of the attendants immediately came over to show him the way back out. It wasn't long before he began regretting his decision to leave; he had learned next to nothing during his brief visit, and he could ill afford delay. He wished he could go back inside to apologize and try to begin again, but the prickle of his wounded pride and stubbornness sent him marching to the bus stop instead. If he returned to his hotel for a few hours, perhaps he could call Sally and speak to her once more about the problem. She'd have some insight for him, he felt sure.

That was not to be. Wufei got on the first bus that arrived, but realized too late it was the wrong route number. Grumbling at his inattention, Wufei slouched low in his seat and glowered at the window, watching the sights whiz by, when a familiar location caught his eyes.

He only saw the glint of metal in light momentarily before the bus had passed it by, but within moments Wufei had stood up and yanked down hard on the stop cord. The vehicle slowed obligingly, pulling over for him to disembark.

There it was, a short, squat house that somehow managed to be nestled within the half commercial, half industrial section of the colony town. And behind the building rose up a tiny heap of what could easily be mistaken for a rubbish dump, but was in reality a scrapyard. Wufei had never been able to comprehend Duo and Hilde's ability to live in such an area, and had never really believed either of them when they protested that they were perfectly comfortable. Seeing their home for the first time in something other than a photograph did nothing to persuade him he'd been wrong.

Wufei had not planned on paying Hilde any visits on his trip - and certainly didn't expect a particularly warm welcome after his brief conversation with her the night before - but it seemed now that it might be his only chance of discovering what was really going on.

He jogged over to the house, taking due note of the sag in the porch, and rang the bell. It was a full ten minutes before anyone answered, but Wufei didn't plan on going anywhere now that he'd arrived. He didn't give up, but rather rang again without taking his finger off the buzzer.

Eventually the door was thrown open, revealing an exhausted looking young woman wrapped up in a bathrobe. She was tiny - just coming up to Wufei's shoulder - and her brilliant blue eyes would have looked stunning against her short-cropped black hair if they hadn't lacked the vibrant spark they had once held. Hilde gazed dully up at him, without recognition in her stare, until Wufei spoke, holding out a hand in greeting.

"We spoke on the telephone yesterday," he said, "I'm Chang Wufei."

The dull eyes flared then, with anger, and the door began to close. Wufei did the only thing he could think to do, and flung himself forward, sticking his foot between the door and the jamb. He wedged the rest of himself in as well, halting the door's path and shoving his way into the house.

"What the hell do you want?" Hilde shouted at him, catching up a large ornament in her hand and poised, ready to throw. "Get out of here! I told you yesterday I don't want to talk to you!"

"Miss Schbeiker, please," Wufei growled back, trying to bite back his irritation. "I just want to find out what's going on with Duo! I know you and Heero had him committed to a mental hospital, and I just want to know why."

"Why?" Hilde repeated hysterically. "The love of my life has gone crazy and you're asking me why?!" Her shoulders heaved as she hiccupped over a sob and tried to hide it. "Goddamn it, I didn't want to do it, you know! I tried to…to pretend he was okay…but…but…" She trailed off helplessly, words failing her. With her rage spent, Hilde sagged again, the hand holding the ornament dropping limply to her side. She looked frail, drooping in on herself like that, with tears threatening at the corners of her eyes.

Wufei pulled the figurine loose and set it on its table by the door before taking Hilde by the arm and steering her towards what he hoped would be the living room. His hopes proved correct, and he helped Hilde over to a seat on the ratty couch in the center of the room. He sat beside her, a comfortable distance away, and even dared go so far as to rub his hand in comforting circles along her back as he waited patiently for the tears to subside, which they did in a few minutes time.

His years with Sally had mellowed Wufei considerably, to the point that now he barely gave a second thought to his actions in offering Hilde solace. Six years ago, as that discomfited teenager Wufei would never have known where to begin - or cared enough to try. And now, while he was perfectly at ease with admitting to himself that he had an ulterior motive in calming Hilde down enough to talk to her, he could also admit to feeling a certain amount of compassion for her as well. The realization surprised him a little, and he drew back momentarily to incorporate it into his system.

Hilde drew a shaky breath, and running a hand through her chunky bangs demanded, "Why are you here?"

"I already told you that," Wufei replied, stifling an impatient sigh. "I want to know why you had Duo shut up in a mental institution. What's happened?"

"Oh right, like you don't know. You're a Preventer, aren't you?"

Clenching his teeth, Wufei grated, "Humor me."

Hilde turned to stare at him, examining each detail of his stance, thinking. Silence continued to blanket the room for some moments more, until Wufei shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Finally Hilde said, "It started with the dreams." Wufei glanced at her from the corner of his eyes, and she drew her legs up to her chest before continuing.

"He had nightmares about the war - Duo did. I could never understand why, after six years of peace, it suddenly started coming back to him. I just…I couldn't understand, is all. But I tried to help him anyway. I would hold him, and I'd try to talk to him, but half the time he would just get up out of bed and leave, like he hadn't even noticed I was there."

She stopped, and Wufei thought to himself, That can't possibly be all.

It wasn't. Hilde had only paused to collect herself again. "I always knew Duo was on the edge, ever since I first met him. Who else could act so flip about everything that happened? How else could you explain it? I didn't bother trying to, I never have. I can live with a lot - I can live with nightmares - anyone can live with nightmares, they don't mean you've gone nuts. But then he started telling me that this world wasn't what he'd fought for, that everything had gone wrong and it was up to him to correct it. It sounded like he wanted to start another war - after…after we all lost so much in the last one, especially Duo, how could he say things like that?! It didn't make any sense!"

"And so you thought he'd lost his mind?"

"No. I mean it wasn't just that…"

When Hilde trailed off again and showed no sign of continuing, Wufei couldn't contain his impatience. "What then?" he pressed.

Hilde shifted uncomfortably on the sofa, twisting her face away from his. "It was all the stuff about God," she said. The words were muffled by her knees.

Wufei gestured helplessly. "He was religious?"

Hilde let out a disgusted huff. "Look, I'm not an idiot, okay? When you move in with a guy who used to dress like a priest you expect him to be a little religious. A lot religious. This wasn't like that!" He waved her on expectantly, although her face was still turned away and she couldn't possibly see him. "He thinks he's some kind of prophet. He thinks he's…God's chosen vessel, or something like that. He thinks God speaks to him. Literally. And God's told him to start the next crusade!"

"Duo's told you this?"

"I walked in on him. Talking to no one. I -" Hilde flushed red. "I freaked out. He told me those things. And I…screamed at him. I… I hit him." Wufei could hear tears in her voice again, but he made no move to comfort her this time. "I called Heero. I knew things had spun out of my control. Out of Duo's control. But Heero was who Duo would talk about, whenever he'd talk about the war. I knew Duo looked up to him. I thought maybe he could help. I found the number Duo used to call him on buried under some junk in the desk, and I called him myself. He came out here…and he told me that I ought to take Duo in to have a psychological examination. I - I didn't know what else to do, so I did. They recommended a temporary committal for closer observations. So I've done that too. The doctor I spoke to, Cynthia Cummings, she said it might be schizophrenia."

For a minute or two they sat in silence. With another tiny sigh, Hilde leaned back against the couch cushions and shut her eyes. Wufei was not sure what to say now that he'd finally heard what was behind Duo's committal, and Hilde appeared to be done speaking. But then she went on, "If they find the right medication, he could be okay again. And…it's Duo. He has a way of bouncing back. He could be okay again." She didn't sound very hopeful of that fact, though. "Doctor Cummings said there was no way to be sure what brought any of this on, but I blame the war. I blame the soldiers who perpetuated the war. I blame all you other Gundam pilots. And nothing can make me believe otherwise."

The stubborn bitterness laced into Hilde's voice gave Wufei a jolt as he realized, perhaps for the first time, the extent of Hilde's love for Duo. He sighed in resignation and stood to leave.

The silly girl honestly thought she had done the right thing by putting Duo in the hospital - even Heero seemed to have been pulled into the mistake. Either that, or there was some hidden motivation behind the other young man's action. Wufei knew better. No matter what, that place wasn't right for someone like Duo, someone like him. Someone who'd piloted a Gundam.

Even considering what Hilde had said, Wufei wasn't convinced that Duo was ill. Surely Wufei would have been able to sense it when they'd spoken earlier, if he was. There had to be some other explanation. Duo had been odd, but no more so than he'd ever been under stressful circumstances. He was lucid, reasonable. No, Duo was no less sane than he himself was. Though perhaps, he amended to himself, perhaps in the eyes of the world that wasn't saying much.

He could feel Hilde's eyes on him as he left the house, and he ignored them; his focus was elsewhere, turning over various notions of what to do.