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~Hiei's POV~
"Yusuke's back!" Keiko cried, sprinting across the beach to where he stood, a half-amused grin on his face. They kissed, which I can't express how unhygienic, and all was well. Hn. We, no they, played around on the sand and the shore a bit, and watched the day come to an end. I watched the same sunset from a tree not far away. I didn't say anything to any of them.Kuso! I knew it. I should have said something that day. Maybe even a simple goodbye or good riddance..
Another memory flashed through my head. I writhed wildly, not wanting to remember. I'm stronger than my mind.
"Hiei!" I glanced down to see Kurama waving to me. Turning back, I didn't budge from my tree. He always waited for me there, what made today so different? I thought.
"Hiei! I'm going back to Ningenkai to live with my mother.for good." Kurama persisted in aggravating me.
"Don't mention that hell to me! I knew you'd chose that place over Makai.you've become nothing more than a coward! You deserve to go there." I snarled back at him, not even looking down.
"I just wanted you to know." Kurama started to say something, but stopped. "Forget it. Goodbye Hiei." He actually seemed heavyhearted.
"Baka." I muttered to myself. Later, I felt some sort of remorse or guilt, maybe, that I had been so harsh to him. Those insults I shouted weren't from my heart. I hoped he knew that and would come back. I had to apologize.
"Kurama?" I peeked into his room. I could sense is presence and smell those absurd roses.
"Hiei?" He sat not far from the window where I usually entered. "I knew you'd come. I waited for you."
"What's this damn thing on me?!" I cursed as a small rosebush began to entangle me, digging it's sharp thorns into my flesh.
"I didn't want any of your remarks today. I have to tell you something." He hesitated, as if the words couldn't come out.
"Say them already! I don't have all night to fool around!" I snapped, the bush strangling the air out of me.
"I.I .well." He glared at me. "It's not that easy to say this, but I have feelings for you, Hiei. I think we're more than typical friends or partners."
I paused in horror at what he just said. "You! You think that way about us? I hate everybody! Friends are nothing to me, I don't need them!" I completely forgot to apologize.
"You don't like me?" He gasped, taken back. "I thought we understood each other."
"Baka kisama!" I roared in outrage. Yet inside, I felt somewhat pleased. The beautiful kitsune could have anyone he wanted, male or female, human or demon, and he chose me. But the pride inside me would not let me admit it. I ended it then.
"You can go now." Kurama whispered, his face hidden in the shadows.
"Hn." I grumbled.
I was such an idiot then. Why hadn't I, a strong fire demon, the guts to tell him that I felt the same. I realize it now. I.I felt things for him that were the closest to love I'd ever experienced. I can almost say I loved him. Yet I can't. It's that pride thing again. Damn it. I'd lost all my chances to tell him. I realized too late.
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~Kurama's POV~
"We've all had a journey of a lifetime that none of us will ever forget." I started, my voice steady and strong, the tone rich and husky. "We lost some, and won some, but we won friendship most of all. Now it's time to go our own ways, but deep in the heart of things, we'll know that we'll never be alone again." This time I glanced up to notice Hiei, frowning cynically to himself, all alone on the tree branch. Part of me angered to see him so cold and aloof, even at times like this, when we knew it would be ages before we met again. Then, part of me pitied him, his little face radiating with anger, yet his mouth turned up the slightest bit, and he pulled his cloak closer to himself. I wanted to hug his cute little body and coax the stubborn emotions out. He wasn't just a human hating jerk, he had feelings too, he simply couldn't express them. "If it's pride or ego, whatever it is Hiei, let it go, and let it all come out." I whispered to myself, hoping that somehow, he would hear too.
"Yusuke's back!" Keiko shrieked and bounded towards him. Everyone's attention turned to Yusuke, who we hadn't seen for two years, but after a few greetings, I diverted my attention back to Hiei. He disappeared from the tree after catching my eye, disgusted and ticked off. Poor demon, I thought. He had no friends, he really didn't belong with Yusuke or Kuwabara that much. He needed someone. I wanted to tell him that I would always be there, although lame as it may sound. We all promised each other that, but I felt that Hiei was especially important to me. Sigh* I missed my chance to tell him.yet he might not have reacted favorably either, just like the other time, the only other time I gathered up my guts to tell him.
"Hiei!" I called from under his tree, a spot I always waited for him in.
"Hn." He grunted, probably unhappy to be disturbed.
"I have important news.I'm going to Ningenkai to live with my mother.for good." This phrase I'd been rehearsing for days now, wondering what his response would be. It took a lot out of me to tell him, and I practiced removing the hurt from my voice.
"Don't mention that hell to me! I knew you'd chose that place over Makai.you've become nothing more than a coward! You deserve to go there." He snapped angrily. Shocked at first by his misunderstanding of the situation, I later recalled more than fury in his voice. He yelled with jealousy that I cared more for my mother than him, and he cried for me to stay with him.
That night, I waited for him to come like he usually did. By the window I sat, for hours on end, until he eventually poked his spiked hair through my window. I created a rosebush to tie him up, so he could hear me out.
"Hiei, I..I.have feelings for you. I think we're more than typical friends or partners." I finally managed to stutter out. What I really wanted to say was "I love you, and I need you to stay with me, forever." But I couldn't.
"I hate everybody!" He shouted distinctly, along with other rejecting words. I felt my heart, that I had pieced together so carefully shatter into a million more pieces.
"You don't like me?" I gasped, surprised at his reaction. Already the rejection sunk in, I would never love someone like that again.
"Baka kisama!" He bellowed, and I let him go. The rosebush freed its grasp on him, and so did I. I never considered telling him ever again how I thought of him. My heart hadn't been mended yet.
But maybe that last day, when I saw his loneliness and longing, I should have told him again, this time with more fervor and meaning. I had nothing to lose, it was the last day after all.
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~Hiei's POV~
A flower of some sort floats upon my tree branch. The blood red color reminded me too much. In fact, anything these days, regardless of how irrelevant reminded me. A flash of red, a streak of green, and my imagination would take over again. I groaned. There was not much I could do but wait for my fantasy to pass. For that time, my mind is completely blank of all things besides him, and I can't function properly. Of course I would never admit this silly human sentiment to anybody. As the daydream, a "high" so to speak finishes, a "low" takes over, and I yearn to be with him again.
I open my eyes slowly, one at a time, glancing tentatively at the flower petal. Fingering it tenderly, the tingles in my heart nearly exploded. What did this mean??? Damn you Kurama, why did you have to leave like that? I squeezed my eyes tightly. "Don't get all emotional Hiei," I snapped to myself. "He was simply a partner, something replaceable.who do I think I'm fooling??" A hard black tear trickled from my cheek, materializing as it hit the branch. "Only you could ever make me cry, make me feel this way inside." I whispered, hoping that somehow he could hear me.
How could I be such an idiot? Be like those ningens I vowed never to relate to? How can I have human feelings? Did Kurama teach me something? Is my heart different? I placed my hand over my chest, feeling the beating of my heart, fast and rhythmic, never slowing down or speeding up. I remembered another heart, slower than mine, the beat heavy and low.
My head lay on his chest. He slept peacefully, his long red hair down and all over the place.
"Kitsune!" I shook his arm gently. "Get your hair off me!"
"Mm." He grumbled and wrapped his arms around me. "Shh. Don't say anything. I just want to be like this forever.forever holding you in my arms."
It was at that time that I wanted to tell him how much I needed him as well. But all that came out of my mouth was, "I have other things to do too, you know." The words felt like acid in my mouth, burning my tongue with shame. How could I be so harsh and cruel?
"Hiei." He murmured, a tear dropping onto my skin. It made me shiver, how cold it lay on my skin, clear and beautiful. I wiped it away.
"I have to go." Those were the only words that came out of my mouth. I missed a chance.
Stupid me. Why? Why didn't I have the guts to just admit it? I had absolutely nothing to lose; he had already told me he loved me. But, maybe he felt differently after I rejected him. I closed my eyes and placed the petal over my heart. A waft of a rose smell drifted my way. Immediately I waited for the rich voice to call my name, yet I heard nothing. Getting up, I scanned the surroundings for any glance of him. My heart stopped. He stood under my tree and glanced up, a longing expression on his face. I hid from him, but I was almost sure he saw a stroke of my black robes. This pleased me.maybe he'll look for me from now on, maybe I sparked a memory in him.
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~Kurama's POV~
Was that Hiei? I paused by his tree, although against my wishes. I almost hoped to see him leaning against it, bored and annoyed, like before. Perhaps it was simply my imagination that caused me to believe he was there. Perhaps that flicker of black had been nothing more than a crow or something. But then again, conceivably it could have been him.oh what am I thinking? I promised to take care of my family. Besides, he doesn't love me.does he? There was that one time.
After my disappointment at failing to tell Hiei my feelings, I was surprised when he offered to stay the night with me. Although I was wary, I could not refuse. It was heaven, the best time of my life.
I opened my eyes to an irritated fire demon. His head rested on my chest, and for the first time, he looked neither angry nor cold. In fact, he almost resembled a little child, peaceful and calm, even cute.
"I could stay like this forever, with you in my arms." I whispered, trying to stir the emotions again. His heart had softened, I could tell, but his arrogance had not. Will he come to these terms and agree with me?
"I have other things to do too, you know. I don't have time to fool around with you forever." He grumbled back. My heart that had been crudely mended during the night broke in a way that could never be healed. Please Hiei, speak from your heart, not your head.I know you had reasons for wanting to spend the night with me. But what?
A few days later was our last day as the Urameshi team, and our last day as partners. I forced myself to forget about him, to concentrate on my family, making them happy. But that didn't give me as much pleasure as being with Hiei. Every time something black flew by, whether crow or airplane, I flinched and gave in to look at it, only to be let down each time. I almost gave up. But one last attempt. I would find him and tell him, I wouldn't care how crazy he thought I was. Love is usually crazy. You never admit it until it's too late. However, even if I do confess to him, it would only serve to satisfy my own pain, but it would never fill the emptiness inside my heart.
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~Hiei's POV~
"Yusuke's back!" Keiko cried, sprinting across the beach to where he stood, a half-amused grin on his face. They kissed, which I can't express how unhygienic, and all was well. Hn. We, no they, played around on the sand and the shore a bit, and watched the day come to an end. I watched the same sunset from a tree not far away. I didn't say anything to any of them.Kuso! I knew it. I should have said something that day. Maybe even a simple goodbye or good riddance..
Another memory flashed through my head. I writhed wildly, not wanting to remember. I'm stronger than my mind.
"Hiei!" I glanced down to see Kurama waving to me. Turning back, I didn't budge from my tree. He always waited for me there, what made today so different? I thought.
"Hiei! I'm going back to Ningenkai to live with my mother.for good." Kurama persisted in aggravating me.
"Don't mention that hell to me! I knew you'd chose that place over Makai.you've become nothing more than a coward! You deserve to go there." I snarled back at him, not even looking down.
"I just wanted you to know." Kurama started to say something, but stopped. "Forget it. Goodbye Hiei." He actually seemed heavyhearted.
"Baka." I muttered to myself. Later, I felt some sort of remorse or guilt, maybe, that I had been so harsh to him. Those insults I shouted weren't from my heart. I hoped he knew that and would come back. I had to apologize.
"Kurama?" I peeked into his room. I could sense is presence and smell those absurd roses.
"Hiei?" He sat not far from the window where I usually entered. "I knew you'd come. I waited for you."
"What's this damn thing on me?!" I cursed as a small rosebush began to entangle me, digging it's sharp thorns into my flesh.
"I didn't want any of your remarks today. I have to tell you something." He hesitated, as if the words couldn't come out.
"Say them already! I don't have all night to fool around!" I snapped, the bush strangling the air out of me.
"I.I .well." He glared at me. "It's not that easy to say this, but I have feelings for you, Hiei. I think we're more than typical friends or partners."
I paused in horror at what he just said. "You! You think that way about us? I hate everybody! Friends are nothing to me, I don't need them!" I completely forgot to apologize.
"You don't like me?" He gasped, taken back. "I thought we understood each other."
"Baka kisama!" I roared in outrage. Yet inside, I felt somewhat pleased. The beautiful kitsune could have anyone he wanted, male or female, human or demon, and he chose me. But the pride inside me would not let me admit it. I ended it then.
"You can go now." Kurama whispered, his face hidden in the shadows.
"Hn." I grumbled.
I was such an idiot then. Why hadn't I, a strong fire demon, the guts to tell him that I felt the same. I realize it now. I.I felt things for him that were the closest to love I'd ever experienced. I can almost say I loved him. Yet I can't. It's that pride thing again. Damn it. I'd lost all my chances to tell him. I realized too late.
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~Kurama's POV~
"We've all had a journey of a lifetime that none of us will ever forget." I started, my voice steady and strong, the tone rich and husky. "We lost some, and won some, but we won friendship most of all. Now it's time to go our own ways, but deep in the heart of things, we'll know that we'll never be alone again." This time I glanced up to notice Hiei, frowning cynically to himself, all alone on the tree branch. Part of me angered to see him so cold and aloof, even at times like this, when we knew it would be ages before we met again. Then, part of me pitied him, his little face radiating with anger, yet his mouth turned up the slightest bit, and he pulled his cloak closer to himself. I wanted to hug his cute little body and coax the stubborn emotions out. He wasn't just a human hating jerk, he had feelings too, he simply couldn't express them. "If it's pride or ego, whatever it is Hiei, let it go, and let it all come out." I whispered to myself, hoping that somehow, he would hear too.
"Yusuke's back!" Keiko shrieked and bounded towards him. Everyone's attention turned to Yusuke, who we hadn't seen for two years, but after a few greetings, I diverted my attention back to Hiei. He disappeared from the tree after catching my eye, disgusted and ticked off. Poor demon, I thought. He had no friends, he really didn't belong with Yusuke or Kuwabara that much. He needed someone. I wanted to tell him that I would always be there, although lame as it may sound. We all promised each other that, but I felt that Hiei was especially important to me. Sigh* I missed my chance to tell him.yet he might not have reacted favorably either, just like the other time, the only other time I gathered up my guts to tell him.
"Hiei!" I called from under his tree, a spot I always waited for him in.
"Hn." He grunted, probably unhappy to be disturbed.
"I have important news.I'm going to Ningenkai to live with my mother.for good." This phrase I'd been rehearsing for days now, wondering what his response would be. It took a lot out of me to tell him, and I practiced removing the hurt from my voice.
"Don't mention that hell to me! I knew you'd chose that place over Makai.you've become nothing more than a coward! You deserve to go there." He snapped angrily. Shocked at first by his misunderstanding of the situation, I later recalled more than fury in his voice. He yelled with jealousy that I cared more for my mother than him, and he cried for me to stay with him.
That night, I waited for him to come like he usually did. By the window I sat, for hours on end, until he eventually poked his spiked hair through my window. I created a rosebush to tie him up, so he could hear me out.
"Hiei, I..I.have feelings for you. I think we're more than typical friends or partners." I finally managed to stutter out. What I really wanted to say was "I love you, and I need you to stay with me, forever." But I couldn't.
"I hate everybody!" He shouted distinctly, along with other rejecting words. I felt my heart, that I had pieced together so carefully shatter into a million more pieces.
"You don't like me?" I gasped, surprised at his reaction. Already the rejection sunk in, I would never love someone like that again.
"Baka kisama!" He bellowed, and I let him go. The rosebush freed its grasp on him, and so did I. I never considered telling him ever again how I thought of him. My heart hadn't been mended yet.
But maybe that last day, when I saw his loneliness and longing, I should have told him again, this time with more fervor and meaning. I had nothing to lose, it was the last day after all.
?
~Hiei's POV~
A flower of some sort floats upon my tree branch. The blood red color reminded me too much. In fact, anything these days, regardless of how irrelevant reminded me. A flash of red, a streak of green, and my imagination would take over again. I groaned. There was not much I could do but wait for my fantasy to pass. For that time, my mind is completely blank of all things besides him, and I can't function properly. Of course I would never admit this silly human sentiment to anybody. As the daydream, a "high" so to speak finishes, a "low" takes over, and I yearn to be with him again.
I open my eyes slowly, one at a time, glancing tentatively at the flower petal. Fingering it tenderly, the tingles in my heart nearly exploded. What did this mean??? Damn you Kurama, why did you have to leave like that? I squeezed my eyes tightly. "Don't get all emotional Hiei," I snapped to myself. "He was simply a partner, something replaceable.who do I think I'm fooling??" A hard black tear trickled from my cheek, materializing as it hit the branch. "Only you could ever make me cry, make me feel this way inside." I whispered, hoping that somehow he could hear me.
How could I be such an idiot? Be like those ningens I vowed never to relate to? How can I have human feelings? Did Kurama teach me something? Is my heart different? I placed my hand over my chest, feeling the beating of my heart, fast and rhythmic, never slowing down or speeding up. I remembered another heart, slower than mine, the beat heavy and low.
My head lay on his chest. He slept peacefully, his long red hair down and all over the place.
"Kitsune!" I shook his arm gently. "Get your hair off me!"
"Mm." He grumbled and wrapped his arms around me. "Shh. Don't say anything. I just want to be like this forever.forever holding you in my arms."
It was at that time that I wanted to tell him how much I needed him as well. But all that came out of my mouth was, "I have other things to do too, you know." The words felt like acid in my mouth, burning my tongue with shame. How could I be so harsh and cruel?
"Hiei." He murmured, a tear dropping onto my skin. It made me shiver, how cold it lay on my skin, clear and beautiful. I wiped it away.
"I have to go." Those were the only words that came out of my mouth. I missed a chance.
Stupid me. Why? Why didn't I have the guts to just admit it? I had absolutely nothing to lose; he had already told me he loved me. But, maybe he felt differently after I rejected him. I closed my eyes and placed the petal over my heart. A waft of a rose smell drifted my way. Immediately I waited for the rich voice to call my name, yet I heard nothing. Getting up, I scanned the surroundings for any glance of him. My heart stopped. He stood under my tree and glanced up, a longing expression on his face. I hid from him, but I was almost sure he saw a stroke of my black robes. This pleased me.maybe he'll look for me from now on, maybe I sparked a memory in him.
?
~Kurama's POV~
Was that Hiei? I paused by his tree, although against my wishes. I almost hoped to see him leaning against it, bored and annoyed, like before. Perhaps it was simply my imagination that caused me to believe he was there. Perhaps that flicker of black had been nothing more than a crow or something. But then again, conceivably it could have been him.oh what am I thinking? I promised to take care of my family. Besides, he doesn't love me.does he? There was that one time.
After my disappointment at failing to tell Hiei my feelings, I was surprised when he offered to stay the night with me. Although I was wary, I could not refuse. It was heaven, the best time of my life.
I opened my eyes to an irritated fire demon. His head rested on my chest, and for the first time, he looked neither angry nor cold. In fact, he almost resembled a little child, peaceful and calm, even cute.
"I could stay like this forever, with you in my arms." I whispered, trying to stir the emotions again. His heart had softened, I could tell, but his arrogance had not. Will he come to these terms and agree with me?
"I have other things to do too, you know. I don't have time to fool around with you forever." He grumbled back. My heart that had been crudely mended during the night broke in a way that could never be healed. Please Hiei, speak from your heart, not your head.I know you had reasons for wanting to spend the night with me. But what?
A few days later was our last day as the Urameshi team, and our last day as partners. I forced myself to forget about him, to concentrate on my family, making them happy. But that didn't give me as much pleasure as being with Hiei. Every time something black flew by, whether crow or airplane, I flinched and gave in to look at it, only to be let down each time. I almost gave up. But one last attempt. I would find him and tell him, I wouldn't care how crazy he thought I was. Love is usually crazy. You never admit it until it's too late. However, even if I do confess to him, it would only serve to satisfy my own pain, but it would never fill the emptiness inside my heart.
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