DISCLAIMER: The song "Dope, Ray, Meat" belongs to my U. Paul, and everything else is Tammy's. LONG LIVE TAMORA PIERCE!
A/N: Unfortunately, updates will be less frequent now that school has started for me. I'm usually bogged with homework, plus the big school play is coming up, so that means rehearsal, rehearsal, rehearsal!
Extra A/N that got tossed in after the other one was written: I'm so so so sooooo sorry! I finished half of the chapter and then my computer caught a Trojan Horse. So it's been incapable of working for a bit. So I'll try to catch up quickly with extra chapters!
Chapter 3: Icky curtain clothes
George: OK, NOW what do you have to say?
Alanna: Erm...Thayet climbed through my window so I was punishing her?
George: Eh, good enough. [leaves]
Alanna: Oooh, now I'm going to make them clothes out of curtains that have an awful pattern!
The next day, at the market...
All Children: You sang the depressing song to us and made us ugly clothes! We love you!
Alanna: Yeah, yeah, whatever.
Yuki: You don't appreciate our affection?
Maura: WAAAAH!
Neal: TOMATO FIGHT! [throws a tomato from a nearby stand at Alanna]
Daine: Yippee! [tosses a tomato at Alanna]
Alanna: You can't tomato me! I'm the babysitter! Er, nanny! Frauline?
Thayet: Frauline just means miss. It's German. [tosses another tomato at Alanna]
Onua: You're the GOVERNESS.
Alanna: Oh, yeah! What's a governess?
Onua: You're hopeless.
Alanna: Since when do I have to govern someone my age?
Onua: I'm 10.
Alanna: You wish.
Daine: Oooh, look, Numy!
Numair: MY DARLING! [they run to each other and kiss]
Alanna: Numair, you're not in this!
Numair: Oh yeah? Neither are THEY! [points at chickens]
Random Chickens: Cluck cluck.
Alanna: Why do you think this is called the Sound of Chickens? If you want to be in it, have the Almighty Author change it to the Sound of Numair.
Numair: I think I might do that...
RSPP (Random Singing Picketing People, in case you haven't read Sleeping Magelet): Yes! Complain! Demand R-E-S-P-E-C-T!
Thayet: NOOOOO! MORE OLDIES! [dies]
Jon: My beloved!
Numair: Try kissing her. It worked for me.
Jon: No problem. [kisses Alanna]
Alanna: EW! Not me! Thayet! [starts throwing up to rid her body of Jon's stupidness germs]
Daine: Hey, our governess is barfing and can't get us in trouble!
Dom: PARTY!
Neal: [hurls tomatoes into the air]
Thayet: [groans]
Jon: YOU'RE DEAD!
Thayet: [rolls over and dies again]
Jon: Yay! Now I can marry my true love!
Dom: Who's that?
Jon: Kel!
Kel: Eeep! NO!
Neal: You're not in this yet.
Kel: Oh yeah. [vanishes]
Dom: NO! She's MINE!
Jon: As if, Dom. I was just kidding.
Everyone except Thayet and Alanna: [lets out a sigh of relief]
Alanna: [finishes throwing up] PARTY'S OVER!
All Children: AWWW!
Alanna: Jon, shouldn't you wake Thayet up?
Jon: WHY? I like being single. It means I can fool around with whoever I want!
Alanna: The Almighty Author will be REALLY mad if you don't give her Thayet back. She needs her for the part.
Jon: So?
Alanna: I wouldn't diss the author if I were-
Alanna was cut off by an anvil falling on Jon's head.
Alanna: You.
RSPP: THE STUPID AUTHOR HAS NOT GIVEN US A LINE IN TOO LONG! PEOPLE WILL FORGET WE'RE HERE! WE NEED RESPECT!
Alanna: In your dreams. Aren't you supposed to be torturing Delia?
RSPP: Oh, yeah. [they vanish]
Maura: Waaah!
Alanna: What?
Maura: The Almighty Author doesn't give me lines either! I WANT MY MOOOOMMMMMYYYYY!
Alanna: Well, I'm not your mommy [coughyetcough] but I can sing a song for you!
Daine: [throws herself at Alanna's feet] No! Please! I beg you!
Alanna: Is my singing really that bad?
Neal: YES!
Daine: Actually, it's not. I just want to stay with Numy.
Dom: Are you kidding? She's the worst singer since...I don't know who!
Alanna: OK, then. We're ALL going into the hills and I'm going to sing.
Daine: Why into the hills?
Alanna: I don't want to torture the poor people in the market.
Random Market People: YAY!
Alanna: But first we've got to wake Thayet up. JON!
Jon: [looks up at Alanna groggily] Wha???
Alanna: Kiss Thayet.
Jon: No problem. [kisses her]
Thayet: Eeeek! Jon kissed me! Now I have...THE STUPIDNESS DISEASE!
Alanna: MAITENANCE!
Cleon: You rang?
Alanna: Clean up the tomatoes.
Cleon: Awww, why me?
Alanna: Unless you'd rather come with us to hear me sing.
Cleon: Uh, no, no, that's OK! I'll just...clean the tomatoes. No need to hear you sing!
In the hills...
Alanna: OK... [strums guitar] I'm going to tech you to sing!
Yuki: Um...
Maura: But we CAN sing!
Neal: Better than YOU, anyway.
Alanna: I'm the governess! You'll do as I say! [clears throat]
Dope, a driver, a female driver
Ray, a thing shot from a gun
Meat, the stuff you eat with potatoes
Far, a place I wish you'd run
Soap, the stuff to wash your hair
La, a note sung by a dope
Tea, to drink with your éclairsThat will bring us back to dope
Everybody!
Maura: Do I HAVE to?
Alanna: Yes.
Maura:
Dope, a driver, a female driver
What's a driver?
Alanna: I have no idea.
Yuki:
Ray, a thing shot from a gun
What's a gun?
Alanna: NO MORE QUESTIONS!
Onua:
Meat, the stuff you eat with potatoes
Daine: Why do you meanies eat meat? Think of the poor little cows and fish and deer!
Alanna: Oh, this isn't working. Let's go home.
All children: YAAAAAY!
Back at home...
Kel: Dahling, your home is stunning!
George: Dahling?
Kel: I'm trying to BE the part, Mr. Cooper!
George: Stop with the Mr. Cooper thingie! You're supposed to be in love with me!
Kel: Ew!
Gary: REALLY, you two!
Kel: Gary? Why are you here?
Gary: I'm that guy who came with you!
Kel: Hat casting?
Gary: How'd you guess?
Kel: Oh, look, there are a bunch of kids with ugly curtain clothes!
George: [gasp] THOSE ARE MY KIDS!
Kel: That's SO undignified!
George: When did YOU become miss nobility?
Kel: About 5 seconds ago.
Gary: So, are you going to do anything about it?
George: Kel being a noble for once?
Gary: No! Your kids!
George: Next chapter. The Almighty Author has math homework.
Gary: Yuck.
A/N: I really do have homework, so just review!!! Oh, and thanks to all of you who reviewed the last chappie!