A/N: I had to glance over some old chapters to check a few comments made in this one and was a little concerned about how differently this reads to those earlier scenes, but I HOPE it makes sense with the moving storyline and isn't too out of left-field. At about 2K words into writing this, I wondered if I should scrap this chapter entirely as it does almost nothing in terms of plot, but... I'd had a *lot* of coffee, and this is what came out. I enjoyed writing it, so hopefully, you will enjoy reading it. As I said in the previous A/N, I know this is still a conversation (and a phone call, at that!) but I wanted to break up the consecutive chapters of plot-driven conversation with one between just Regina and Emma. I'm hoping to add more darkness/ fun once I get the following few chapters out of the way, but I hope this is enjoyable in its own right and that the fact that it differs in tone so strongly from when the Queen used to truth serum actually works in terms of character-growth rather than seeming a bit out of place... Phew. I really need to stop rambling in these notes! Sorry! As always, I just really hope you guys like it!

"Good... Then how about a bedtime story?"

"Please!"

Emma agrees, and the brunette chuckles at the eagerness in her tone before frowning as she catches a series of indiscernible thuds coming from the other end of the line.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm getting prepared for your story."

"Hmm... Delving into the bottom drawer, are you dear?"

"The bottom dr-?... No! Wine, Madame Mayor."

"Shame."

"Oh, please, if I'd told you you were onto something, you'd have hung up on me just now."

"Mm... Maybe."

Regina agrees, her cheeks flushed incriminatingly pink as she had felt a little perverse as soon as the comment had left her lips.

"Well. Half of you would have, anyway."

Emma laughs, and the darker woman sighs as she demands irritably

"Would you stop with that? It's getting to be a little rude, dear."

"Um, I think I get a free pass for at least a few weeks still, given the circumstances of how this all started."

"Oh that's what you figure, is it?"

"Yup, now tell me a story."

"Well..."

The brunette hesitates, somewhat regretting her blasé offer as she feels her initial light blush bloom a vibrant crimson. Chuckling lightly, she explains herself with a note of surrender in her tone.

"Speaking of halves, I'll tell you what is weird, dear..."

"What's that?"

"Wanting to follow through on my offer and remind you just how lucky you are, while at the same time wanting to crawl under my bedcovers and hide for the best part of the coming year at the very idea of spilling such secrets..."

Regina sighs as she recalls the predatory salaciousness of some of her moves when she'd first kept the blonde prisoner in her own home, and the hellish discomfort she's suffered over the last few months whenever she'd felt she might have overstepped by allowing a mildly suggestive comment to linger between them rather than shutting it down swiftly under the guise of simply winding the younger woman up.

"Hm, well, firstly, I'm fully aware of my luck, don't sweat it, but I guess my main question for you now is whether or not the stories you've teased me with are actually secret?"

"I suppose they're not. It's just part of me would rather stick her head in an oven than consider subjecting another to such wildly inappropriate conversation."

"I asked! The wilder and more inappropriate the better! You know me..."

"Mm."

"And I'll bet the other part of you is just dying to brag about what she got up to."

"That's hardly how I'd put it..."

"Because it's untrue, or you just don't like my wording?"

"... Shut up."

Regina mutters, and Emma laughs pleasantly before pointing out

"I mean, I wasn't exactly stoked that you decided to pry into my teenaged tryst in the dark, but it wasn't really so bad once I got started. And remember, I was playing with just the one side of you that had no intention of making storytime an enjoyable experience... Of course, that has since been rectified."

The blonde's smirk is evident in her tone, and the Mayor chuckles softly; recalling that first night when she'd once more been whole and her decision to call for a truce by conjuring the cart from the blonde's forced admission and getting down onto her knees for her.

"It was..."

"So?"

"It's hard to know where to start."

"Wow, you fiend!"

"Hush, I didn't mean it like that... I meant more that I did very kindly provide you with an intro, dear. I didn't just expect you to star in the show without any cues."

"Um, no. You tricked me, drugged me, and went fishing for facts that you could use against me, Your Majesty."

"Well, if you're going to start splitting hairs, perhaps I better call it a night..."

The brunette hisses defensively, in no way surprised when she catches the telling sound of the younger woman choking on her wine as she tries to stifle her amusement.

"Fine, fine, I'll leave the hairs be, Regina... How about you just repay my story in kind?"

"Hmm?"

"Your first time. What happened?"

"I... Well, I suppose I-... Ugh, why did I get myself into this?"

"Your fault, not mine, Madame Mayor... Although maybe leave the Mayor out of it if she's making this so difficult. Can I address the Queen directly?"

"No, because I'm not a mad woman. I'm a singular, sane human being... And, anyway... It's the Queen that's struggling."

Regina tacks on in a clipped tone, sighing as she opens up her own bottle of wine and pours herself a glass.

"My first experience in the manner applicable to this conversation-"

"-Love it. Talk dirty to me-"

"-Hush! My first experience with the fairer sex was with one of my maids."

The brunette confides with a terseness to her tone that earns her a snort of laughter.

"How dreadful!"

"Mm, well, at the time, I really believed it was!"

"... The sex, or her standing?"

"Her status in comparison to mine, which I suppose actually would have made it somewhat of a secret, if I'd had anyone in my life I might share such things with in the first place."

"... And the sex?"

"It was... Different. I wasn't exactly used to having anyone knelt down there. Not beneath my dress, anyway."

"Down there..."

Emma teases, her voice cracking with her amusement."

"Well, yes! I mean... I was only twenty-one."

"So-"

"-I'd been in love, and I'd been married - very much mutually exclusive affairs, as you know - but the way things work over in that land is different, and... I'd just never had anyone with their face down there before."

"Oh god..."

"I hope you choke, dear."

"No, you don't. And I'm sorry, I'm not laughing at you, I'm just laughing at the 'down there' part."

"You better not be laughing at my down there part of anything."

"Okay, now I really am in danger of choking... Play fair."

"Never."

Regina smirks, feeling a little as though her throat and chest are on fire, but otherwise coming to the tentative realisation that Emma had been right; it's not so bad now that she's started.

"So, uh, I have a question..."

The blonde continues in a marginally less giddy manner.

"Is it one I'll appreciate?"

The darker woman asks dubiously.

"If you focus on the first part, then I don't see why not... You, uh... You clearly know what you're doing 'down there'-"

"-Miss Swan, if you don't watch out, I'll-"

"-What about what I just said earned me that tone?!"

"Nothing, but I know full well the face you will have just pulled when you said the last part... But, go on. What was it you wanted to know?"

"Well, I mean, if what we're talking about isn't a done thing in the Enchanted Forest, I guess I'm just a little confused... In a good way!"

"You're welcome... And I said things were different over there more in anticipation of a derogatory remark in respect of my explanation that I was twenty-one. I know you might have-"

"-Did I say anything about that?"

Emma snaps waspishly, and Regina sighs as she reasons

"Well, no, but then I explicitly didn't give you a chance to do so."

"I had no intention of saying anything about it. I was just surprised, given that you were younger when you and Daniel were together. Then you went and explained the whole cultural differences thing about the forest, and now, here we are."

"... I didn't mean to imply anything, I was just uncomfortable, dear."

The brunette states finally, and she purses her lips when the younger woman muses rather coldly

"You don't have to imply. You know all sorts of things about me now."

"I-"

"-But, I guess that explains the lack of any 'face down there' business in your little self-penned stroke book."

Emma finishes dismissively, drawing a line under her offence, and she's relieved when the Queen snarls at her with good humour evident beneath her displeasure.

"It wasn't a stroke book! I told you why I wrote those things down! I never used it for... Anything like that."

"Okay, okay!"

"... Once I got a little more comfortable in my position as Queen - Evil Queen, specifically - I became less concerned over what might be the norm and more concerned with getting what I wanted. Be that your mother's head on a plate, unspeakable power, or a chosen fortunate between my legs. After a while, I decided to try my hand at giving as well as receiving, as what better way than to demand obedience and punish at the crucial moment?"

"Hmm... You do have that last part down to an art."

The blonde laughs quietly, her cheeks now also rather warm.

"That first time, with the maid, I simply demanded that she make me feel good. I'd had an awful day, a goblet of wine, and I was tired of pretending to grieve for a man I'd hated as was expected of a widowed Queen. By then, I'd procured the hunt- Graham- and I did consider paying him a visit, but... I don't know. I was stewing over my options to better my sour mood while sitting at my vanity table, and I happened to look up and... I decided to stay in my room... I'd had the same chambermaid ever since I'd first wed Leopold, and sometimes I would catch her looking at me in a way that felt strange... Good strange. She looked at me how I wanted to be looked at; she looked at me as though she was looking at a leading monarch - a Queen- and not his widow. When I approached her as I did, I simply meant for her to kiss me; more out of morbid curiosity to see whether my order would be obeyed, or whether we would get straight down to some form of punishment, but she barely hesitated. What I'd meant to be an experiment in one way - to push someone in a way I hadn't before and discipline them accordingly - became an entirely different breed of experimentation. Afterwards, I felt some mild guilt, but none of it was directed towards the sapphic nature of what we'd done, but rather her position close to the bottom of the hierarchy I had available to me. In a way, the lack of any other remorse was eye-opening; I could have twice the fun and twice the selection, but it was several years before I became more brazen and open about the fact around those of interest. Later on in my rule, I even had my favourites, and they were more than aware of their role within my castle..."

"Lucky them."

"Mm, debatable. Part of me wants to agree with you, and the other feels compelled to remind you that there were very few surrounding me back in that time that would consider their torment lucky."

"Spoken like a true mad woman."

"Miss Swan..."

"What? I'm just siding with the Queen!... Well. Sort of."

"Mm. Are you saying you're coming around on the idea of leather hoods and denial?"

"...Not especially."

"No, well... The former has somewhat lost the appeal, to be honest. I like your face, and I really don't enjoy being humoured as though I were a child."

"So, you'll admit that's what happened?"

"I said what I just said, and have no plans on elaborating, Saviour."

The brunette replies silkily, before cutting through the younger woman's low chuckle with her own point of curiosity.

"Really, I feel I should be turning your query back on you, dear."

"Huh?"

"Well, my enjoying the finer things was a discovery I somewhat ran with once it dawned on me. I revelled in it. Learned from it, as you implied... Nothing about our carnal time together has suggested a level of naivety, yet you confided while physically unable to lie that you've only had three occasions to gain experience... Emma?"

Regina tacks on uncertainly when her musing is met by silence.

"Sorry, I'm just processing the term 'carnal time together', Madame Mayor."

The blonde laughs; her mirth accompanied by the telling sound of more wine being poured into her glass.

"Well?"

The darker woman demands, undeterred.

"I said I'd been with three women. I never specified how many times."

"You said you'd never had a girlfriend..."

"Because I haven't."

"Hadn't."

Regina corrects, and she takes a hasty sip from her glass as she's once more met with silence. Finally, the blonde agrees coolly.

"Hadn't."

"So, how does that work?"

"I mean, not that differently to how you and Graham worked."

"I had his heart."

"Yeah, well, that's the part I strived to avoid!... You had a heart, I had an apartment sixty feet from an over-priced, dimly-lit cocktail bar where I could earn a couple of free drinks and some stress release."

"You earned them?"

"In a way. And, in her way, she earned my repeat custom, so it was a pretty good deal."

"But you weren't dating?"

"Not at all. I could barely stand her."

"But, then-"

"-Okay, so there were a couple of things about her I liked. Physically. I'm pretty sure it was mutual. We rarely talked much, and when we did, I'd find myself losing interest quickly, so we stuck to what worked; a couple of drinks before closing, and then either up to mine, or wherever we felt like in or on the bar once she'd locked up."

"Oh. So what happened? She finally dared attempt a conversation of multiple syllables? I know how trying that can be for you."

"Mm. I should probably hang up."

"Don't..."

Regina implores with a little less bite to her tone, before asking again

"What happened?"

"I moved."

"Oh."

"Yeah. The kid came barging into my life, and-"

"-Wait, this was in Boston!?"

"Well, yeah."

"I see."

"Yeah."

Emma repeats, not really sure what else to add, nor how to read the current tone.

"And the third woman?"

Regina asks finally, surprised as she suffers a small hint of jealousy that wears the face of their first meeting; back in her drawing room for the brief spell before Emma had mentioned Henry's book. She supposes she shouldn't be all that surprised; she's felt that same dull pang when dealing with the pirate over the last few months, and she'd be so bold as to presume Emma might have felt something similar when faced with Robin.

She did. I saw it in her eyes several times. I just refused to acknowledge the reason for it.

"The third was just a one-night stand."

The blonde answers her question, and the Queen smirks at the dismissive nature of the younger woman's answer.

Vying for any favour you fear you've recently lost?

The thought borders on cruel, but her response is light and reminiscent of every evening they'd spent in each other's company pretending not to understand the feelings that would arise from accidental touches and lingering glances.

"Do you know, I've never properly had one of those?"

"How the hell do you improperly have one?"

"When you have an objective and no intent to follow through."

"Yeah, that sounds more like a trap than a treat..."

"Certainly, but why the tone? Isn't that what you used to do for a living, dear?"

"I mean, not always... I had other angles than just going on fake dates."

"My, you sound rather defensive..."

"Okay, so usually that's what I'd do. It worked!"

"I'm sure it did."

"And anyway, you're referring to a one-night stand real-world style. I'm sure you had a few servants or whatever where it was one and done?"

"One and done?"

"Yeah. Like... Fuck them once, and then-"

"-I understood the meaning; I'm not an idiot. I was just perturbed by the phrasing."

"You're always perturbed by my phrasing. What would you have rather? 'I'm sure you bedded and beheaded'?"

"I never!"

"...Really?"

"Oh, god, you're actually curious now, aren't you?"

Regina sighs, rolling her eyes when the blonde agrees in a predictably calm tone for one discussing pure depravity and execution.

"I never specifically linked the two, no."

The brunette hisses, wondering if she should throw in a threat before deciding that doing so will likely just make the Sheriff laugh harder.

"When you're quite finished..."

She mutters instead, and Emma apologises before cracking a yawn.

"Am I keeping you up, dear?"

"Sort of... I haven't been getting much sleep lately."

"Someone on your mind?"

"And other places."

The blonde agrees, smiling as it's the darker woman's turn to chuckle wickedly. Considering her empty glass, she admits openly

"I'm glad you called. I wondered if it would be weird, but it wasn't."

"I call you all the time."

"I know, but not to talk the way we did tonight."

"Yet another missed opportunity to have figured things out much sooner..."

"Yeah, because I'm sure if I'd asked you a month or so ago what your 'down there' experiences had been like, you would have been totally cool with it and wouldn't have slapped me at all..."

"Perhaps that's a stretch, but I'm genuinely surprised you never mentioned your cart-in-the-dark experience on Miner's day to make things uncomfortable. You love doing that."

"Sorry, there was a lot going on."

"Mm... You know, I wondered myself if I'd instigated an awkward conversation when I made that comment about your bottom-drawer things-"

"-I mean, calling them that sort of doesn't help on that front-"

"-I wasn't sure how this would go once I'd suggested that line of thought... "

The Mayor finishes in a prim tone.

"Wait, were you nervous I would turn that comment into an attempt at phone sex?!"

Emma teases curiously.

"I wasn't nervous."

Regina scoffs irritably, hoping she doesn't sound as flustered as she feels at the insinuation.

"...Were you disappointed?"

The Sheriff chuckles, purely in jest, but she raises a brow when the Queen admits lightly

"I wouldn't know. That's something else I've avoided up to this point in my life."

"Ah."

"But now I'm rather curious, I will admit..."

"Well... You have my number. Though, if it's all the same to you, I prefer physical house calls."

"Likewise. Speaking of, you'd better get going if you plan to take Henry out for breakfast before school. I see no reason why we should both get up at the crack of dawn, so why don't you come over to pick him up around seven?"

"Seven?!"

"Yes, dear."

"But you'll be up already by then!"

"Maybe. Maybe I'll enjoy a lie-in."

Regina muses, her smirk evident in her tone.

"We both know you won't."

"That's immaterial. It was your idea... I'll see you at seven."