(The search for Wonder Woman continues)
ZOOM: Boss, I'm gettin' hungry...
NEOMAGE: I know. How about we stop at the nearest KFC outlet?
DARKSEID: Sorry, but fried chicken gives me diarrhea...
NEOMAGE: Oo Like I really needed to know that...
ZOOM: How about we go to Pizza Hut? I've always wanted to eat their buffalo chicken pizza. Sinestro tells me that it's a great dish.
FLASH: I second the motion!
NEOMAGE: Sure, why not? I guess we can put the search for Wonder Woman on hold for a while and satisfy our hunger...
DARKSEID: Don't forget the disclaimer!
NEOMAGE: Oh, right. Well, since you remembered it, you do it.
DARKSEID: oo; Hooo boy... "Justice League is the property of Cartoon Network and DC Comics."
NEOMAGE: That'll do. They really should know who Justice League belongs to by now, anyway.
FLASH: Uh, boss...we got a problem. (he points in the direction of several angry young men stampeding toward the group)
ZOOM: OO Boss, those guys are part of the Wonder Woman fan-club!
NEOMAGE: Oh crap – RUN!!!
(The group of four races off as the Wonder Woman fanboys stampede after them)
CHAPTER 04
TIME: 5:45 a.m.
PLACE: Arkham Asylum, Gotham City
Dashing through the front gate, Flash was just in time to see a burst of flame exploding in one direction as panicked guards ran for cover. Then, to his surprise, from the opposite direction came a blast of ice that froze the escaping guards right in their tracks. "What the hell?" he exclaimed, coming to a stop.
To his amazement, out came Volcana and Killer Frost. "Oh, look who came to play," Volcana cooed. "Think he'll want to play with us, Frost?"
"Why not?" Frost grinned. "From what I've heard, he's a real womanizer."
"Uh, sorry," said Flash. "I don't go for Goth girls, and I prefer my women without a fiery temper."
"Oh, you've insulted us!" Volcana whined. The pouty look then left her face altogether, and her body burst into flame. "You want a fiery temper? I'll show you a fiery temper!" With that she hurled ball after ball of intense flame at Flash.
He quickly dashed out of the way and headed in Frost's direction. "Looks like he wants to play with me instead," she said, "but I don't like what he just said either!" So saying, she shot a blast of ice at him. However, he dodged that, too, and came in with an elbow to the face that knocked her off-balance.
"Ow!" she screeched. "You'd hit a lady?!"
"What lady?" Flash mocked.
Shaking her head, Volcana formed her fiery energy in one hand, forming a large flaming saber. "Sure, you're fast," she declared, "but why don't we see how well you fare in combat?" With that she rushed at him, her makeshift energy sword blazing.
Flash dashed behind her, however, and knocked her in the back of the head, sending her flying to the ground. "Well, that's one down," he announced. "Now for the other one."
Charging up ice in her hands, Frost attacked. Flash saw her coming, however, and rushed in too – but at the last moment a blast of yellow energy sent him flying. Next thing he knew, he saw Sinestro floating down.
Frost was not amused, "Hey, man – I had him!" she fumed.
"Don't worry about that – we really don't have time to dilly-dally, even with him," Sinestro reproved her. "Why don't you and Volcana go and look for our target. There are lots of sniveling cowards that call themselves guards further inside, anyway. I'll take care of the Flash."
Frost was still sulking, but she nodded. Heading over to Volcana, she helped the other woman up. "Why, that dumb punk! I'll fix him!" Volcana exploded, her hair set ablaze by her anger.
"Later, later," Frost shook her head. "Sinestro'll take care of him. Right now, let's go get the other guy." With that, she steered Volcana into the prison.
Sinestro sneered at Flash. "You did pretty well against those two," he said, "but let's see how well you can handle me!"
Flash stood up. "Bring it."
Before Batman could move, Zoom dashed over to him, lifted him over his shoulder and spun twice in rapid succession.
"Ungh!"
Batman was flung to the ground as Zoom towered over him. "Is that the best you've got?" Zoom taunted.
"Hardly." Batman reached for his utility belt – but was amazed to not find it at all! Looking up, he saw Zoom holding the belt in one hand, a smile on his face. At once the Dark Knight realized that Zoom must have grabbed the belt when he grappled him.
"You looking for this?" Zoom asked him. "I told you, you're nothing without your dumb gadgets!"
Batman's eye twitched. "You're..." Twitch. "...holding..." Another twitch. "...my belt."
"So? What of it?"
Suddenly, Batman did a backhand toss, throwing several small pellets at Zoom. The evil speedster dashed to one side – and to his astonishment, the pellets changed direction and came at him again! Having not expected that, Zoom was caught unprepared as all of them suddenly exploded with firecracker power, burning him. "Ow! That smarts!" he yelled.
Next thing he knew, he felt a solid punch connect squarely with his nose, sending him sprawling. "Heat-seeking pellet explosives," Batman explained. "I've been working on them as a concept for some time. I'm glad to see they actually work."
As Zoom slowly got back up, Batman amazed him some more: Suddenly, the fingertips of the Dark Knight's gloves extended into claws. "I don't use these very often," Batman went on, "but for kicking your ass, I'll make an exception."
Zoom's lip curled into a nasty smile. "I don't need to run fast to beat you," he declared. "You could pull out a million different gadgets on me – you'll still never be able to beat me!"
Batman readied himself for combat again. "Try me."
Flash was zipping all over the place as Sinestro fired bolt after bolt of energy from his ring at him. "Come on, you little mongoose, stand still!" Sinestro shouted, enraged.
"And where would the fun be in doing that?" Flash quipped.
"Don't you worry – I'll get you yet!" Forming some of his ring's energy into baseball-shaped orbs, Sinestro flung them at the Scarlet Speedster. Flash dodged them with ease, shaking his head as he did.
"C'mon, Sinestro – be more creative than that!" he teased.
Forcing himself to keep calm, Sinestro assessed the situation and then got an idea. Forming his ring's energy into several battle-axes the size of tanks, he started hurling them in all directions, spinning himself as he did so. "Dodge these!" he yelled.
Because the axes were numerous, and because their blades were very big, Flash had more of a challenge to actually dodge them all. As he did, though, the tip of one's blade caught him in the back, ripping his costume. Flash groaned in pain as he fell to his knees.
"See? You may be fast, but my tactical skills are faster!" Sinestro boasted. "All you have going for you are your dumb wisecracks!"
Suddenly, before Sinestro realized what was happening, Flash rushed up to him and sent a punch to his face, leveling him. "I was just playing possum, Sinestro," Flash declared. "Figured I might be able to sucker you in for a good hit – Flash-style!" He fingered the rip in the back of his costume. "My suit's taken some damage, but the most it did to me was graze the skin," he added. "It was a good idea you had just now – just not good enough, I guess."
Sinestro, rubbing his bruised cheek, went livid. "I'LL KILL YOU, YOU BASTARD!" he yelled.
"Now this is fun!" Volcana exclaimed as she blasted flames at the guards. "If I'd known that Gotham's security forces were this cowardly, I'd visit more often!"
Frost presently came along, forming ice daggers in between her fingers and tossing them straight into several other guards' throats. "I've found him, Volcana! Let's break him out and blow this joint!" she called.
Throwing one last blast of flame at her opponents, Volcana followed Frost down the corridor. As they passed the various cells, they could hear the prisoners shouting to them to have them released. "C'mon, ladies, let us outta here!" the prisoners beseeched them.
Frost looked at Volcana. "What d'you think?"
"Sure, why not? At least it'll give the good guys something to keep them busy while we escape," Volcana reasoned. "For now, though, let's find our quarry."
"He's over there," Frost indicated the cell near the end of the corridor. Together, the two women walked over to it, and Volcana tapped on the door with her knuckles. Inside the cell, a pair of yellow eyes looked out at them. Volcana flinched a little, but Frost was unperturbed.
"Hello, big boy," she cooed. "We've come for you."
The yellow eyes gleamed eagerly.
Forming his ring's energy into a giant hand, Sinestro kept trying, unsuccessfully, to grab his target. But, of course, Flash was moving much too fast. "Keep trying all you like, Sinestro," he taunted. "You'll never catch me, even if I tried to let you."
"That's it – next chance I get, you're gonna die!" Sinestro vowed.
Suddenly he calmed down and smiled a little, and he powered down. This, of course, confused Flash. "Hey, what gives?" he wondered aloud. "I thought you wanted to kill me. Why the sudden change of heart?"
"Because," replied Sinestro, still smiling, "it turns out I won't really have to." He pointed in the direction behind Flash. Turning, the Scarlet Speedster was suddenly confronted by several of the escaped convicts – the ones Volcana and Frost had released.
Presently Sinestro's comm.-link began to beep, and he answered it. He listened, then nodded. "Understood. I'm on my way." To Flash he then said, "Well, I'd love to stay and play, but you've got a few new friends here to tangle with. I must now be on my way." With that, powering up again, he flew up into the sky.
"Hey, come back here!" Flash shouted – and that was when the prisoners ganged up on him.
Batman and Zoom stood in the dense forest, staring each other down. Batman's finger-claws were fully extended, and his mouth was set in a grim line. Zoom's fists were clenched.
Then they charged.
Zoom struck forward with a super-fast double-punch, but Batman narrowly dodged aside and lunged forward with his claws. Unable to swerve aside in time, Zoom took the attack to the stomach, and grimaced in pain as he felt his skin being slashed. As Zoom doubled over, Batman sent two more slashes to his opponent's face, then spun around and delivered a powerful roundhouse kick to Zoom's head, knocking him down.
"Why, you...I'm gonna kill you..." Zoom rasped angrily, standing up gingerly. His face was very badly scratched, and the skin on his midsection was torn away and bleeding.
"In your current condition, I doubt it," said Batman.
Suddenly Batman felt a rough hand on his skull. Next thing he knew, he felt himself being lifted up, then slammed face-first into the ground three times. As he was pounded into the ground for the third time, he felt a heavy foot slam down on his head, crushing him further into the ground.
"Don't bother gettin' up again, Batman!" he heard a familiar voice say.
Then ten sharp, pointed razors dug into his back. Groaning in pain, then howling in agony as the razors twisted and shredded into his skin, he tried to position himself so he could face his attacker – but then a rough grip on his face jerked him upright to face Zoom.
"Well, I gotta leave now, it seems," said Zoom, "but here's something to remember me by!" With that he rammed his fist into Batman's face, the fist working with the speed of a jackhammer. His face now puffy and bloody, Batman could feel himself sliding fast into unconsciousness.
"Don't let him get away!" one prisoner shouted in a raspy tone. With that all the others started to beat down upon Flash, one of them splitting his lip with a crushing blow.
"Okay...NOW I'M PISSED OFF!" Flash exploded as he suddenly started to spin, his fists extended and knocking the prisoners away. Taken by surprise, there was little any of them could do as, at something past his regular super-speed, he rushed up to them individually and delivered a punishing blow to each, knocking them out one by one. Then, rotating his arms faster than the eye could follow, he created a powerful windstorm that literally lifted the prisoners off their feet and sent them flying.
His fury now untamed, Flash turned to the remaining prisoners who still had courage to face him. He started to punch, seemingly, at thin air – and one by one the prisoners got knocked out as the speed of the wind pressure from his attacks carried through and hit them with full force.
Glaring about him, Flash surveyed the unconscious prisoners. "Who else wants some?!" he bellowed.
Hearing no reply, he slowly sat down on the ground, closing his eyes as the adrenaline rush subsided and calm returned to him. But as it did, he remembered something. Tuning his comm.-link, he tried to call Batman. "Yo, Bats, I stopped the jailbreak. They've been incapacitated."
No answer. Worried a little, Flash thought of going to the spot where he'd left his comrade. "He might be hurt!" he figured.
Five seconds later he was at the spot – and his eyes widened in horror at what he saw. Right there, on the ground, bleeding and seemingly half-dead, was the broken body of the Dark Knight.
"BATMAN!"
TIME: 5:58 a.m.
PLACE: A castle outside Metropolis
The Ultra-Humanite looked up at the clock hanging on the wall. "They're late," he observed. "You don't suppose they may have run into some trouble?"
Seated by the window, Vandal Savage didn't seem much concerned. "You needn't worry," he replied. "If my calculations are correct, they should be here in five, four, three, two..."
In that moment Zoom appeared through the doorway. Killer Frost emerged a moment later at the window, having traveled on an icy path she created with her powers. Then Sinestro arrived, carrying in an energy bubble himself, Volcana, and another person.
"You were successful," said Savage, standing up. "Well done."
Then he turned to address the newcomer – a tall, bald-headed man with green reptilian skin, long claws that dripped blood, sharp teeth, and a crocodile face. "I assume the others briefed you on why I wanted to see you," he remarked. "Welcome to the Secret Society, Mr. Waylon Jones – or would you prefer your nickname, 'Killer Croc'?"
The crocodile man grinned. "Whatever you like...and I'm glad to be here."
DARKSEID: Dear Lord...even I wouldn't be that violent...
NEOMAGE: Well, it is my fanfic, right?
DARKSEID: Right, boss!
ZOOM: Did we lose those Wonder Woman fanboys?
FLASH: I hope so.
DARKSEID: Boss, what're we gonna do?
NEOMAGE: Don't worry, I've already called up a friend of mine to help us out – and here he is now!
(Arriving on a motorcycle is none other than the Dark Magician!)
FLASH: Whoa! Tricked out bike, dude!
DARK MAGICIAN: Thanks. I built this one myself.
NARRATOR: With the Dark Magician on their side, will this posse be able to carry out their mission and fend off the fanboys still waiting to tear them to shreds?!
ZOOM: Who the hell are you?
NARRATOR: I'm the narrator, of course!
NEOMAGE: I never hired a narrator. Get the hell out of here!
NARRATOR: I've got unlimited coupons for free mega-sized meals at Burger King and Pizza Hut...
NEOMAGE: On second thought, I'll double your salary! (the others fall over anime-style)