!$!$! Heh... Thanks for the reviews... but I need to know... is Snape out of character or not? Because one person says so and another said he's not...and I need to know so I can write this good! Josie Writer, I'm glad I might have changed your mind... I too thought it was a little odd the first time I read one...just the other night...lol... but I fell in love with it! Here goes nothing...!$!$!
-&- Chapter Two: Stealing -&-
"Harry, it's nearly noon, get up!" Ron said, beating on Harry's arm.
"Why didn't you wake me sooner?!" Harry yelled and jumped up.
"I tried before I went down to breakfast, you wouldn't budge!" Ron said, but Harry didn't hear him he was too busy running upstairs to get changed and get his broom. After changing again into his Quidditch robes in his office, he walked out to the field with the rest of his team.
"Ron, Ginny, Cassandra, and Lavender, I want you four to practice together at the hoops. I'll check on you later." Harry commanded and watched them fly off. He then turned to Seamus and Colin, his new beaters. "I want you to direct the buldgers at me."
"Harry, that's insane!" Colin protested.
"Yeah, why should we hurt you on purpose? Without you we'd loose!" Seamus joined it.
"You heard me!" Harry said firmly and released the last three balls. He flew off and started chasing the snitch. He watched as the beaters followed the buldgers, aiming them right at him. He was too fast for them and easily avoided the pain it would cause to be hit by one.
Something was different though, his mind wasn't clear. He wasn't concentrating only on the game. He couldn't help but wonder about the journal. What was Snape playing at? He probably knew that Harry couldn't help but snoop, he probably planted the journal and made it all up.
Then again, Harry couldn't help but notice the emotion that was put into the writing. He could never have wrote that unless he felt that way... no, not Snape, he couldn't have. Harry's stomach turned, no one had ever said anything to him like the things he read. It would be nice to have someone feel that way, just not Snape.
Harry felt something hit his back and knock him off of his broom. Luckily, he wasn't that high off of the ground. He it fast and hard. He stood up immediately, not wanting to look weak in front of his team. "I told you this was a bad idea!" Colin screamed, running over to Harry.
"Are you okay?" Ron asked, landing in front of Colin.
"I-I'm fine. I just lost focus, my minds been other places. Continue to practice for at least another half hour. I need some more rest..." Harry said, walking off of the field, rubbing his back. His team gawked at him in disbelief.
When he got up to the Gryffindor common room Harry fall onto the couch, whining in pain. "Harry, what's wrong?" he didn't notice that Hermione was sitting at a desk reading. "Nothing." he lied and looked at the clock. There was still an hour until dinner, and he was starving for once.
He walked up to his dorm and took out some candy. After laying for a while Dean Thomas walked in. "Hullo Harry." he said, sitting down on his own bed. "I saw the team heading in, why aren't you with them?" Harry sighed and mumbled something about telling him later before walking downstairs for dinner.
"You're early, Potter" Snape hissed when Harry walked into his classroom later.
"I know... I have nothing better to do." Harry sighed.
"Then you'll just work longer, don't expect to get off early!" Snape snapped.
"I wouldn't dream of it, Sir." Harry mumbled and got to work on cleaning the floors, as directed.
The next night he cleaned the stone floor in Snape's office, and the night after that he cleaned the wooden floor in Snape's luxurious bed chambers. Every night, when Snape was satisfied with the job, Harry trudged back to his bed and fell asleep quickly. However, on the last night he didn't sleep for long.
A few hours later he woke up and couldn't go back to sleep. His feet pulled him to his trunk and his hands pulled out his cloak and map. Tiredly unable to force himself back into bed he followed his feet down to Snape's classroom. He gained control of his body and woke up completely.
Walking over to the desk, he thought Snape foolish to leave his keys lying around again and for keeping the journal in the same place. Maybe he wanted Harry to read it again? This time Harry didn't feel like being subjected to anymore cleaning, so he pocketed the journal and headed back to his room.
He sat in the common room under his cloak reading with only the light of the fire to guide him. Skipping past boring things, and basically anything that didn't concern him, Harry read the whole journal. He found a few things that interested him highly, the most recent being...
"For the past few nights I've had Harry cleaning the floors. After thinking I figured it'd be the most punishing detention that I would benefit from. Watching him bent over isn't a sore sight at all, especially in those tight little jeans he wears. I now understand the point of Muggle clothes. I must admit, it was very tempting to having him so close to my bed, especially when I know that fantasying is all that will ever happen..."
Harry closed the journal and went to sleep just as the sun was raising that Sunday morning.
Upon opening his eyes Harry saw that it was dark again. He looked to his clock on his nightstand and sighed. It was eight pm. He had slept the day away. Maybe no one felt like being snapped at, and didn't bother waking him up. He liked that though, he needed the sleep.
Harry reached under his mattress and pulled out Snape's journal. He flipped to his favorite things labeled. "Ten things I love about Harry." He smiled as he read it.
"1. His amazing smile.
2. How cute he looks when he sleeps in class.
3. His super witty come backs, when he builds up enough steam to use them.
4. The way he flies his broom.
5. How adorable he is.
6. Those emerald pools of emotion.
7. His Determination.
8. How protective he is of those that he loves, I wish he would protect and love me.
9. The way he acts so modest, but how could anyone like him be so?
10. What I love most about Harry Potter is how heroic he is, he's saved us all so many times."
Now that he was rested, it dawned on Harry just how much he liked the list. He had never felt so loved in his life. He closest to family-like love he had ever gotten was Sirius and Mrs. Weasley... but that just wasn't the same. He knew his friends loved him, but that wasn't the same either. Cho Chang had chosen Cedric over him, and ruined their relationship by crying over him all day.
No, this was a different type of love. Harry almost wanted to cry over the grotesque memory that it was Severus Snape who wrote these wonderful things. He put the journal back under his mattress and walked to the bathrooms to freshen up. When he came back to his dormitory he began to pace.
Meanwhile, unbeknown to Harry, Snape burst into the Gryffindor common room. "Where's Potter?!" he screamed at Ron who was sitting in front of the fire playing chess with Seamus. Ron pointed to the boys staircase with a confused and scared look on his face.
Harry stopped his pacing and turned towards the door when he heard someone fling it open. His eyes widened as Snape stomped towards him, grabbed the front of his robes, and pushed him against the way. His feet weren't reaching he floor and he was surprised that with Snape small figure he could hold him up like that.
Snape stared at him with a mixture of hate and angst. "Where is it Potter?!" He spat out, shaking slightly. Harry couldn't speak, Snape's grip was too choking. "Stealing is grounds for expulsion!" Snape sneered and let go of Harry, seeing how much he was hurting the Gryffindor.
Harry fell to the floor, rehurting his arm. He stood slowly, cradling that arm, and turned to Snape. He suddenly found himself smiling. "You wouldn't expel me." Harry said, slightly laughing.
"Don't try me, boy. Give it back and I won't have to call Dumbledore in here." Snape hissed.
"Then he might just read it, he'll want to know what's going on." Harry said, having fun playing with Snape's patients. Snape's eyes filled with fear and for the first time since they had met, Snape was out of words. Harry sighed and sat on his bed. It wasn't fun unless Snape tortured him back.
"Here." Harry said pulling the book out from under his mattress and tossed it to Snape. "You should really think about taking a few more security measures if you don't want anyone else reading that." said Harry, lying down on his bed.
"Y-you read it..." the Potions Master found his voice.
"Go on... yell at me." Harry waited for his punishment.
"......" Snape's mouth hang open, trying to figure out what to say.
"Is it true?" Harry asked mechanically.
"......" Snape closed his mouth and stared at Harry, down to the journal, and back to Harry; his hands shaking all the while. "Why would one lie to one's own journal?" He finally said, not willing to say flat out that it was true.
"I see..." Harry laughed. "Then all these years I've been in potion's hell just for a cover up?" he frowned. Snape looked hurt at the words 'potions hell' but figured Harry's had a right to know.
"I must admit my hate for you was true the first three years of your stay here." he almost whispered.
Harry laid on his bed staring at Snape. The older man had fancied him for going on three years now, and he never had a clue. He enjoyed the feelings, and he enjoyed being in the same room with him without getting detention, even if he deserved it for once.
"I should go... I'm contact you about your punishment later." Snape said headed to the door.
"What!?" Harry jumped off of his bed, "You're really going to punish me!?"
"It's my job, Potter." he smirked and opened the door.
"Please don't go!" Harry didn't recall ever wanting to say the words, but they came out of his mouth. When they did, he smiled. He knew how lonely he was. He knew that he'd rather not be around Myrtle, and he couldn't handle any of his friends. He wanted someone to love him, he didn't care who.
"W-What...?" Snape turned to face Harry, his hands still trembling.
"Can't you stay?" Harry asked, with longing in his eyes.
"I...I'd better not. It's getting late." Snape's lip trembled as he spoke.
"I just woke up, I'm not in the least bit tired." Harry continued.
"The other's will be coming in soon. I need to leave." Snape stepped out of the door.
"Bring me with you, then!" He chased after him and grabbed his hand before he could go down the stairs. Snape looked down at their joined hands. He hid a smile and pulled away. "Please, Professor. I need someone to talk to..." Harry pleaded, taking Snape's hand again.
"Fine, Potter, follow me." he said pulling his hand away again, "Remember to act normal."
"No problem." Harry said and folded his arms, placing his best angry face on.
Walking through the common room people stared at the two. Snape walked in front of Harry, his robes following wildly, looking as if he was ready to kill someone. Ron walked up to Harry. "What's going on, mate?" he asked.
"I'll tell you later." Harry said and sent a glare towards Snape. Once out of the portrait hole, Harry smiled and walked up closer to his now open admirer. "Thank you." he said and grinned up at his professor. Snape said nothing.
The older male led the younger to his office and stored his journal in a more secret area, not caring if Harry had seen where, knowing that he had already read it. He then walked into his bed chambers and sat in an overstuffed chair. Harry followed him and sat on the floor, fore there were no other chairs in the room.
"Why'd you do it, Potter?" Snape finally spoke up.
"Would you please stop calling me Potter? I know you didn't in the journal." Harry smirked.
"Yes, well... I'm still your teacher, and I think it's more proper for me to call you Mr. Potter."
"Fine, fine... so... why did I do it? I guess I just needed to know everything." he looked up.
"Well you still don't know everything, Potter. I don't even know everything!" Snape put his head in his hands and sighed. He pulled a piece of paper out of his robe pocket and handed it to Harry, who read it quickly.
"I don't know what's come over me. How can I feel this way? Some days I want to decapitate him and the next day I just want to hug him and never let go. I should be ashamed of my self. I am ashamed of myself, most of the time... Killing myself seems too easy, I deserve to sit and wonder and fight with myself."
"It was too negative to keep in my journal." Snape said when Harry looked up to him with a worried expression. "I know now that I can't help my feelings, I've stopped beating myself up over it."
"Then why keep it?" Harry asked, standing up.
"To remind myself that I'm not completely insane, and that my feelings didn't just form overnight." he half smiled. Harry smiled back, he'd never seen a sincere smile come from the potions professor. "I think maybe I'm glad that you stole it..." Snape whispered, but Harry heard him. The teenager walked over to his admirer and said "Mind if I steal something else?"
Snape stared up at him, half confused, half aroused. Harry raised an eyebrow and leaned over top of his professor. Their lips met softly and lightly, but it was enough to make Severus' whole life.
!$!$! Okay... I think my friend Courtney helped me figure out what to do with Snape to make him act more Snapeish... don't worry, there will be a lot more twists, turns, and drama! You'll see some more of Snape's denial and Harry's depression... so don't give up on the story yet! So... stay with me and review! thanks!!!! (Oh and I just read a new review...if it seems like his journal is written by a teenager...that's because it is! lol I'm 15 years old... but I know that I could make him sound more mature, but I think that I like the more playful side of him that comes out when he thinks about Harry....hehe)
-&- Chapter Two: Stealing -&-
"Harry, it's nearly noon, get up!" Ron said, beating on Harry's arm.
"Why didn't you wake me sooner?!" Harry yelled and jumped up.
"I tried before I went down to breakfast, you wouldn't budge!" Ron said, but Harry didn't hear him he was too busy running upstairs to get changed and get his broom. After changing again into his Quidditch robes in his office, he walked out to the field with the rest of his team.
"Ron, Ginny, Cassandra, and Lavender, I want you four to practice together at the hoops. I'll check on you later." Harry commanded and watched them fly off. He then turned to Seamus and Colin, his new beaters. "I want you to direct the buldgers at me."
"Harry, that's insane!" Colin protested.
"Yeah, why should we hurt you on purpose? Without you we'd loose!" Seamus joined it.
"You heard me!" Harry said firmly and released the last three balls. He flew off and started chasing the snitch. He watched as the beaters followed the buldgers, aiming them right at him. He was too fast for them and easily avoided the pain it would cause to be hit by one.
Something was different though, his mind wasn't clear. He wasn't concentrating only on the game. He couldn't help but wonder about the journal. What was Snape playing at? He probably knew that Harry couldn't help but snoop, he probably planted the journal and made it all up.
Then again, Harry couldn't help but notice the emotion that was put into the writing. He could never have wrote that unless he felt that way... no, not Snape, he couldn't have. Harry's stomach turned, no one had ever said anything to him like the things he read. It would be nice to have someone feel that way, just not Snape.
Harry felt something hit his back and knock him off of his broom. Luckily, he wasn't that high off of the ground. He it fast and hard. He stood up immediately, not wanting to look weak in front of his team. "I told you this was a bad idea!" Colin screamed, running over to Harry.
"Are you okay?" Ron asked, landing in front of Colin.
"I-I'm fine. I just lost focus, my minds been other places. Continue to practice for at least another half hour. I need some more rest..." Harry said, walking off of the field, rubbing his back. His team gawked at him in disbelief.
When he got up to the Gryffindor common room Harry fall onto the couch, whining in pain. "Harry, what's wrong?" he didn't notice that Hermione was sitting at a desk reading. "Nothing." he lied and looked at the clock. There was still an hour until dinner, and he was starving for once.
He walked up to his dorm and took out some candy. After laying for a while Dean Thomas walked in. "Hullo Harry." he said, sitting down on his own bed. "I saw the team heading in, why aren't you with them?" Harry sighed and mumbled something about telling him later before walking downstairs for dinner.
"You're early, Potter" Snape hissed when Harry walked into his classroom later.
"I know... I have nothing better to do." Harry sighed.
"Then you'll just work longer, don't expect to get off early!" Snape snapped.
"I wouldn't dream of it, Sir." Harry mumbled and got to work on cleaning the floors, as directed.
The next night he cleaned the stone floor in Snape's office, and the night after that he cleaned the wooden floor in Snape's luxurious bed chambers. Every night, when Snape was satisfied with the job, Harry trudged back to his bed and fell asleep quickly. However, on the last night he didn't sleep for long.
A few hours later he woke up and couldn't go back to sleep. His feet pulled him to his trunk and his hands pulled out his cloak and map. Tiredly unable to force himself back into bed he followed his feet down to Snape's classroom. He gained control of his body and woke up completely.
Walking over to the desk, he thought Snape foolish to leave his keys lying around again and for keeping the journal in the same place. Maybe he wanted Harry to read it again? This time Harry didn't feel like being subjected to anymore cleaning, so he pocketed the journal and headed back to his room.
He sat in the common room under his cloak reading with only the light of the fire to guide him. Skipping past boring things, and basically anything that didn't concern him, Harry read the whole journal. He found a few things that interested him highly, the most recent being...
"For the past few nights I've had Harry cleaning the floors. After thinking I figured it'd be the most punishing detention that I would benefit from. Watching him bent over isn't a sore sight at all, especially in those tight little jeans he wears. I now understand the point of Muggle clothes. I must admit, it was very tempting to having him so close to my bed, especially when I know that fantasying is all that will ever happen..."
Harry closed the journal and went to sleep just as the sun was raising that Sunday morning.
Upon opening his eyes Harry saw that it was dark again. He looked to his clock on his nightstand and sighed. It was eight pm. He had slept the day away. Maybe no one felt like being snapped at, and didn't bother waking him up. He liked that though, he needed the sleep.
Harry reached under his mattress and pulled out Snape's journal. He flipped to his favorite things labeled. "Ten things I love about Harry." He smiled as he read it.
"1. His amazing smile.
2. How cute he looks when he sleeps in class.
3. His super witty come backs, when he builds up enough steam to use them.
4. The way he flies his broom.
5. How adorable he is.
6. Those emerald pools of emotion.
7. His Determination.
8. How protective he is of those that he loves, I wish he would protect and love me.
9. The way he acts so modest, but how could anyone like him be so?
10. What I love most about Harry Potter is how heroic he is, he's saved us all so many times."
Now that he was rested, it dawned on Harry just how much he liked the list. He had never felt so loved in his life. He closest to family-like love he had ever gotten was Sirius and Mrs. Weasley... but that just wasn't the same. He knew his friends loved him, but that wasn't the same either. Cho Chang had chosen Cedric over him, and ruined their relationship by crying over him all day.
No, this was a different type of love. Harry almost wanted to cry over the grotesque memory that it was Severus Snape who wrote these wonderful things. He put the journal back under his mattress and walked to the bathrooms to freshen up. When he came back to his dormitory he began to pace.
Meanwhile, unbeknown to Harry, Snape burst into the Gryffindor common room. "Where's Potter?!" he screamed at Ron who was sitting in front of the fire playing chess with Seamus. Ron pointed to the boys staircase with a confused and scared look on his face.
Harry stopped his pacing and turned towards the door when he heard someone fling it open. His eyes widened as Snape stomped towards him, grabbed the front of his robes, and pushed him against the way. His feet weren't reaching he floor and he was surprised that with Snape small figure he could hold him up like that.
Snape stared at him with a mixture of hate and angst. "Where is it Potter?!" He spat out, shaking slightly. Harry couldn't speak, Snape's grip was too choking. "Stealing is grounds for expulsion!" Snape sneered and let go of Harry, seeing how much he was hurting the Gryffindor.
Harry fell to the floor, rehurting his arm. He stood slowly, cradling that arm, and turned to Snape. He suddenly found himself smiling. "You wouldn't expel me." Harry said, slightly laughing.
"Don't try me, boy. Give it back and I won't have to call Dumbledore in here." Snape hissed.
"Then he might just read it, he'll want to know what's going on." Harry said, having fun playing with Snape's patients. Snape's eyes filled with fear and for the first time since they had met, Snape was out of words. Harry sighed and sat on his bed. It wasn't fun unless Snape tortured him back.
"Here." Harry said pulling the book out from under his mattress and tossed it to Snape. "You should really think about taking a few more security measures if you don't want anyone else reading that." said Harry, lying down on his bed.
"Y-you read it..." the Potions Master found his voice.
"Go on... yell at me." Harry waited for his punishment.
"......" Snape's mouth hang open, trying to figure out what to say.
"Is it true?" Harry asked mechanically.
"......" Snape closed his mouth and stared at Harry, down to the journal, and back to Harry; his hands shaking all the while. "Why would one lie to one's own journal?" He finally said, not willing to say flat out that it was true.
"I see..." Harry laughed. "Then all these years I've been in potion's hell just for a cover up?" he frowned. Snape looked hurt at the words 'potions hell' but figured Harry's had a right to know.
"I must admit my hate for you was true the first three years of your stay here." he almost whispered.
Harry laid on his bed staring at Snape. The older man had fancied him for going on three years now, and he never had a clue. He enjoyed the feelings, and he enjoyed being in the same room with him without getting detention, even if he deserved it for once.
"I should go... I'm contact you about your punishment later." Snape said headed to the door.
"What!?" Harry jumped off of his bed, "You're really going to punish me!?"
"It's my job, Potter." he smirked and opened the door.
"Please don't go!" Harry didn't recall ever wanting to say the words, but they came out of his mouth. When they did, he smiled. He knew how lonely he was. He knew that he'd rather not be around Myrtle, and he couldn't handle any of his friends. He wanted someone to love him, he didn't care who.
"W-What...?" Snape turned to face Harry, his hands still trembling.
"Can't you stay?" Harry asked, with longing in his eyes.
"I...I'd better not. It's getting late." Snape's lip trembled as he spoke.
"I just woke up, I'm not in the least bit tired." Harry continued.
"The other's will be coming in soon. I need to leave." Snape stepped out of the door.
"Bring me with you, then!" He chased after him and grabbed his hand before he could go down the stairs. Snape looked down at their joined hands. He hid a smile and pulled away. "Please, Professor. I need someone to talk to..." Harry pleaded, taking Snape's hand again.
"Fine, Potter, follow me." he said pulling his hand away again, "Remember to act normal."
"No problem." Harry said and folded his arms, placing his best angry face on.
Walking through the common room people stared at the two. Snape walked in front of Harry, his robes following wildly, looking as if he was ready to kill someone. Ron walked up to Harry. "What's going on, mate?" he asked.
"I'll tell you later." Harry said and sent a glare towards Snape. Once out of the portrait hole, Harry smiled and walked up closer to his now open admirer. "Thank you." he said and grinned up at his professor. Snape said nothing.
The older male led the younger to his office and stored his journal in a more secret area, not caring if Harry had seen where, knowing that he had already read it. He then walked into his bed chambers and sat in an overstuffed chair. Harry followed him and sat on the floor, fore there were no other chairs in the room.
"Why'd you do it, Potter?" Snape finally spoke up.
"Would you please stop calling me Potter? I know you didn't in the journal." Harry smirked.
"Yes, well... I'm still your teacher, and I think it's more proper for me to call you Mr. Potter."
"Fine, fine... so... why did I do it? I guess I just needed to know everything." he looked up.
"Well you still don't know everything, Potter. I don't even know everything!" Snape put his head in his hands and sighed. He pulled a piece of paper out of his robe pocket and handed it to Harry, who read it quickly.
"I don't know what's come over me. How can I feel this way? Some days I want to decapitate him and the next day I just want to hug him and never let go. I should be ashamed of my self. I am ashamed of myself, most of the time... Killing myself seems too easy, I deserve to sit and wonder and fight with myself."
"It was too negative to keep in my journal." Snape said when Harry looked up to him with a worried expression. "I know now that I can't help my feelings, I've stopped beating myself up over it."
"Then why keep it?" Harry asked, standing up.
"To remind myself that I'm not completely insane, and that my feelings didn't just form overnight." he half smiled. Harry smiled back, he'd never seen a sincere smile come from the potions professor. "I think maybe I'm glad that you stole it..." Snape whispered, but Harry heard him. The teenager walked over to his admirer and said "Mind if I steal something else?"
Snape stared up at him, half confused, half aroused. Harry raised an eyebrow and leaned over top of his professor. Their lips met softly and lightly, but it was enough to make Severus' whole life.
!$!$! Okay... I think my friend Courtney helped me figure out what to do with Snape to make him act more Snapeish... don't worry, there will be a lot more twists, turns, and drama! You'll see some more of Snape's denial and Harry's depression... so don't give up on the story yet! So... stay with me and review! thanks!!!! (Oh and I just read a new review...if it seems like his journal is written by a teenager...that's because it is! lol I'm 15 years old... but I know that I could make him sound more mature, but I think that I like the more playful side of him that comes out when he thinks about Harry....hehe)