!$!$! Well... I haven't spelt in about twenty four hours...so forgive me if I'm totally off in this chapter. I want to bring in a quote from JW... "Here's what's funny about keeping characters 'in' character that everyone needs to remember: Many people have many different faces, and some that are not always shown to the world. I keep a journal, and I would not consider myself 'in character' when I write in it. Sometimes I just flat-out rant, with no regard for punctuation, grammar, or anything, really." yea...so :-P
lol anyway... as for the rest of what you said, I know that I mess up sometimes but it's not because I don't know the right words...I just make typeos and by the time I'm done writing I'm too tired with writing to go back and read it, I just want to get it posted ASAP! lol And I'll never get a beta because it's my work and I really don't care if it's mess up I'd rather it be messed up and have someone retyping it and poking at it and all... hugs story tight! my baby! lol wee I so need some alcohol right now! I'm way too tired...!$!$!
-&- Chapter Three: Ranting -&-
After about a second in heaven, yes... both men agreed it was heaven; secretly, Harry pulled away and immediately his senses came flying back to him. He fell to the floor and pushed him self away from his professor. "I'm... I'm sorry." Harry said and stood up. "I have to go." he raced out of the room.
He didn't want to go back to the Gryffindor tower. He knew that it would only raise questions he hadn't formed lies for yet. He made his way to the second floor and into Myrtle's bathroom. "Harry... I'm glad to see you. I've been sobbing all day." she exclaimed when he walked into her stall.
"When are you not..." Harry mumbled, glad that his ghostly friend hadn't heard. He finally couldn't hold it in anymore and told her everything. He told her about the lessons and the diary. "And then I kissed him." he finished.
"Oooh! Harry!...oh, Harry..." her voice went from so happy to so sad.
"What's wrong, Myrtle?" he said, looking up at her floating figure.
"I've just always kind of hoped that when you died, you'd spend the rest of eternity with me." she said shyly. Harry smiled up at her.
"But now that you're gay..." she continued.
"I'm not gay, at least I don't think so. Listen, Myrtle, you can't tell anyone about this." he pleaded.
"Harry, I don't talk to anyone besides you!" she said sadly, yet promisingly.
After a long conversation, in which Myrtle mainly flirted with Harry, the boy who lived curled up on the bath room floor and fell asleep. By the time he woke up in the morning he had already missed his first class, and he should have been in potions ten minutes before.
"Myrtle, why didn't you wake me?!?" He screamed, running to the sink and washing up a little.
"You looked so cute sleeping, I didn't want to disturb you." she cried.
Harry rolled his eyes and dashed to his dormitory to get his potions kit. By the time he made it all the way down to the dungeons afterward, it was thirty minutes into the class. He tried to sneak in for two reasons. Avoiding detention or house point deduction was on the bottom of his list for once. He didn't want to talk to Snape at all, in fear of his reaction of the night before.
"You're late Potter," Snape spoke up from his potions book. "Very late... thirty points from Gryffindor."
Harry didn't protest. He took his seat and heard Hermione's hushed lecture about how late he was.
"I don't see how Potter ever ended up in this class. This is N.E.W.T potions isn't it? I haven't stumbled upon a first year class, have I?" Draco joked from behind. There was an uproar from the Slytherins in the class room. Hermione whisper her ever famous "Just ignore them." and helped Harry catch up.
"Are you coming Harry?" Hermione asked at the end of class, meeting Ron at the door.
"I'll meet you in a few minutes." he said and waited for all of the students to exit the room before approaching the professor's desk. "Can I come to see you tonight?" Harry managed to force out of his throat. Snape looked up at the boy and although he wore an angry frown, his eyes screamed "YES!!!"
"I would think, Mr. Potter, that after you ran out last night without even an explanation, you wouldn't want to be around me anymore." he said calmly.
"Call me crazy, Professor, but I thought that just maybe we were becoming friends. If you let me go tonight, I'll tell you just why I did it and why I ran off." Harry said, smiling.
"Very well, now get off to lunch, Potter." Snape said sternly.
"Yes Sir." the boy winked before practically skipping off to the Great Hall.
"What's been up with you Harry?" Ron asked when his best friend sat down across from him for lunch. Harry smiled up at him. "Nothing, I'm actually feeling okay for once."
"Where were you last night, we were worried sick!" Hermione scolded.
"Sorry..." Harry took a bite of his grilled cheese sandwich.
"Well, I suppose to can't complain Hermione, he's actually eating!" Ron beamed.
"Hey guys!" Luna came walking over to them.
"Luna, what brings you around here?" Hermione asked.
"To tell you that the Hufflepuffs from the D.A. are holding a party in the Room of Requirement for all of students in my grade and yours." she said happily, taking a grape out of a bowl in front of Harry and popping it into her mouth. Hermione seemed interested in it, so Luna went on discussing the details of it.
Now that a more respectable Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher had been hired, the students were finally learning how to properly defend themselves. Harry had discontinued the D.A. meetings at the very beginning of the school year, so that he would have more time. It was too stressful to try to find days that worked for everyone, and after Sirius' death, he wasn't much up to being surround by people who's attention was only on him.
"You should go Harry." Hermione said, knocking him out of his memories.
"Wait, you, little miss perfect prefect, are suggesting I go to this party?" Harry laughed.
"I think it will be an enjoyable experience that are really need, Harry." Hermione said with concern sparkling in her eyes. "Please go tonight."
'Tonight?' Harry thought. He gulped. He couldn't turn down the party, because he would need a reason, and he couldn't tell his friends that he was going to go see Snape. He decided to go, but to leave early so he would still have time to visit his admirer.
Snape laid on his bed while he listened to Draco rant and rave about some party that was going on. "You should have seen it!" Draco laughed, "So many of them were drunk off of their asses. Like Potter and Seamus, I'm surprised they didn't choke on each other's tongues!"
"P-Potter...?" Snape asked, feeling any color he might actually have falling from his face.
"Yeah, Potter... you know, Harry Potter, The Boy Who Cried Voldemort?" Draco laughed. "They were rolling all over the floor snogging the heck out of each other!"
Snape merely stared into space at this statement.
"Are you okay, Sir?" Draco waved a hand in front of Snape's face.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just wondering... why were you at a party full of Gryffindors?" he lied.
"Well, we went there to trash it, but it was just too damn funny!" Draco fell out of the chair in laughter at the memories.
"I'm awfully tired, Malfoy, do you mind leaving?" Snape hissed in annoyance.
"Sure, see you tomorrow." Draco said, knowing he was still the student and he had to obey the order. He got up and walked out. Snape sighed and rubbed his face. He couldn't believe this, but he had to. Draco would never lie to him. All of the hope that had run into him the night before when Harry kissed him now rushed out of his body.
Green flames grew in his fireplace across the room. Dumbledore's head appeared. "What ever it is, can it please wait until the morning?" Snape huffed.
"I suppose, however," Dumbledore got that twinkle in his blue eyes, "young Mr. Potter is in the hospital wing, and he's asking for you." he finished before pulling his head out of the fireplace. "Dammit Harry..." Once the green flames disappeared, Snape jumped up and ran towards the hospital wing.
When he got there he saw Harry doubled up over a trash bin, throwing up. "Got a little drunk huh?" Snape smirked when he walked over to Harry and sat at a chair beside him. Harry smiled up at the man, and laid back down.
Snape, however, didn't smile back. "I've heard about you and Finnigan." he said, not looking at Harry. Harry hiccoughed and let out a small giggle. "That was quite fun..." he trailed off, throwing up into the trash bin again.
"You were supposed to visit me tonight. Instead I got stuck with Malfoy." Snape sneered.
"Jealous, Sevy?" Harry laughed.
After looking to make sure no one was around to hear that little drunken pet name, Snape glared angrily at Harry. "Of course I am not jealous. I merely was waiting your explanations." he spat.
"Are want to know why I kkiisseedd you last night?" Harry said in a childish tone.
"Yes." Snape said firmly, fixing the collar in his robes, and looking around again to make sure no one was in the room. "Yes, tell me why Harry."
"Maybe it's because you're sooo irresistible." the teenager giggled.
"I would perhaps take that as a compliment if you weren't so drunk!" Snape said, standing up and making his way out of the door. "Please, don't leave me!" Harry begged for the second night in a row. The boys loneliness burned a soft spot in Snape's heart, for he too was lonely. Now, that Harry was drunk and alone in the hospital wing, he didn't have the will to leave his secret love alone.
"Thank you." Harry breathed out when Snape walked back over to him.
"Just try to get to sleep," the older man said, "you still have to go to class tomorrow."
"Am I in trouble?" Harry asked, closing his eyes to prepare for sleep.
"I don't know, I barely talked to Professor Dumbledore." he answered, taking the risk of reaching out and grabbing Harry's hand. Harry smiled and turned slightly to get comfortable before falling asleep. Snape sat there most of the night running his thumb along Harry's palm, feelings absolutely incredible.
Harry awoke with a headache, however it barely fazed him. He was used to extremely worse migraines and such thanks to his scar. He felt something on his hand, and when he looked down he saw his hand entwined with Severus' and the man was passed out in his chair, his head resting face first into the side of Harry's bed.
As great as it was to have someone stay with him all night, he needed to ruin the prefect moment. If someone where to walk in, there would be a lot of questions to answer that Harry was sure he didn't know how to. With that thought, he gently pulled his hand away and swung out of bed.
Upon standing up his headache worsened, however he walked around to the other side of the bed and gently nudged Snape. "Severus, get up." he said quietly, and was shocked out of his mind when Snape flew up and pointed his wand at Harry.
"Calm down, I was just waking you! Last time I ever try to help you. You could have hexed my head off!" Harry complained and backed away from the man.
"S-Sorry..." Snape said, brushing off his robes. "Go get ready for class." he pushed by Harry and went to his quarters to change. Harry did the same thing and twenty minutes later he sat down next to Hermione in potions.
"Feeling better?" she said with a tone that was half giggle half concern.
"Yes, no thanks to you." Harry said, starting his potion.
"What'd you expect me to do?!" she all but screamed.
"For one, after practically forcing me to go to that party, you could have made sure I didn't get drunk off my ass. And after I was drunk you could have stop me from... interacting with Seamus in such ways." he whispered.
"Harry... I'm sorry but you really needed it. You needed to loosen up and have some fun. It was for your own good, Harry." she finished with a smile.
"Well I was doing just fine for once, and that almost ruined it!" he glared at her.
Before she could retort, the professor walked in front of them. "How do you plan on finishing your potions if you don't even take the time to breathe in this endearing conversation your having." he hissed. Hermione instantly went back to chopped up her ingredients. Harry looked up at Snape with a look of hate plastered on his face but his eyes told the truth; 'Thank you'.
Later that night Snape received a knock on his bedroom door. "Come in." he said, too lazy to get off of his bed to answer it. Thinking it was just Draco, he was surprised to see Harry Potter walk into his room. "Hullo." Harry said before walking over to the large chair and curling up in it.
"What brings you here?" Snape asked, sitting up.
"I couldn't stay away..." Harry half laughed, telling Snape it wasn't completely a lie.
Not knowing what to say, Severus just smiled slightly.
"Did you hear me and Hermione's conversation today?" asked Harry.
"Parts of it. I'm glad to know that you didn't want to be in that situation." he said, just above a whisper. Harry smiled at him and sighed. It was too dark to see the boys eyes, he couldn't decipher Harry's emotions.
With the wave of his hand he lit a few candles around the room, letting the light radiate through the room, brightening Harry's face. "That's better." Harry said what Snape was thinking, and started walking about the room. He started touching different bits and bobs around the room, searching Snape's identity away from class.
"Ah, what's this!" Harry exclaimed, opening one a Snape's drawers.
"Oh no..." the man slapped himself over the head for leaving it unlocked.
"A little Harry Potter shire, perhaps?" Harry asked, pulling out a stack of news paper and magazine clippings. Every article and picture of Harry that was ever printed, some Harry hadn't even seen, were in there. He laughed and put them back before walking back over to the chair.
"So, Potter, do you ever plan on telling me why you walked out the other night? I think you've found out quite enough about me now, I deserve a little information myself."
"Maybe... if you stop calling me Potter!" he said firmly, but with a smile.
"Fine...Harry...now tell me." he looked up in anticipation.
"The truth?... well, I don't know why I kissed you in the first place, I suppose because I was catch up in the moment. I haven't felt good about myself in months, and when I read your journal... if it was like a major confident boost. Then I came here and it was almost like we were becoming friends. I'm sorry about it." Harry said, fiddling with his thumbs.
"Don't be sorry, Harry." Snape said, and waved Harry on.
"Right, of course you wouldn't be mad." Harry laughed and then continued, "Well after it happened I kind of thought that maybe it would have made you snap, that you would have yelled at me, and perhaps tell Dumbledore. I didn't want to get expelled, so I just ran."
"I don't know that you can get expelled for that... but even if you could I wouldn't have told." Snape said with genuine smile. "Now tell me... what were you thinking while it was happening?"
Harry sighed happily. "I never knew that so many thoughts could run through my mind within a split second." he laughed and tried to avoid explaining just how amazing he thought it was. "What about you?" he asked instead.
"Me? You mean what was I feeling?" he asked, and Harry nodded. "Well... I'm not one to expose my feelings." he finished with a smirk.
"Boy...do I know." Harry laughed thinking about the journal, and how Snape treated him trying to hide it all. He smiled and stood up, walking towards his potential lover. "Can I ask you a favor?" he asked, kneeling one leg on Snape's bed.
"Any....anything." the man said, looking up at Harry.
"Just...hug me." Harry said quietly.
"...what..." Snape barely said.
"Oh come on, we both know you want to. It's written in practically every entry in your journal." Harry teased. "...please..." Snape merely nodded and moved over. Harry sat down next to him on the bed and almost started crying as Severus took him in his arms, and cradled him tight. They sat like that for over five minutes until there was a loud knock on the door.
"Snape! I need to talk to you!!"
"Shit, Malfoy..." Severus said, and pushed Harry into his closet.
!$!$! Well...what did you think? Was it okay for someone who started out half a sleep...then stopped to get six hours of sleep...and then came back with an empty stomach? lol well I'm going to go brew my potion...I mean...make Mac and cheese...yeeaah... see ya! Review!!!
lol anyway... as for the rest of what you said, I know that I mess up sometimes but it's not because I don't know the right words...I just make typeos and by the time I'm done writing I'm too tired with writing to go back and read it, I just want to get it posted ASAP! lol And I'll never get a beta because it's my work and I really don't care if it's mess up I'd rather it be messed up and have someone retyping it and poking at it and all... hugs story tight! my baby! lol wee I so need some alcohol right now! I'm way too tired...!$!$!
-&- Chapter Three: Ranting -&-
After about a second in heaven, yes... both men agreed it was heaven; secretly, Harry pulled away and immediately his senses came flying back to him. He fell to the floor and pushed him self away from his professor. "I'm... I'm sorry." Harry said and stood up. "I have to go." he raced out of the room.
He didn't want to go back to the Gryffindor tower. He knew that it would only raise questions he hadn't formed lies for yet. He made his way to the second floor and into Myrtle's bathroom. "Harry... I'm glad to see you. I've been sobbing all day." she exclaimed when he walked into her stall.
"When are you not..." Harry mumbled, glad that his ghostly friend hadn't heard. He finally couldn't hold it in anymore and told her everything. He told her about the lessons and the diary. "And then I kissed him." he finished.
"Oooh! Harry!...oh, Harry..." her voice went from so happy to so sad.
"What's wrong, Myrtle?" he said, looking up at her floating figure.
"I've just always kind of hoped that when you died, you'd spend the rest of eternity with me." she said shyly. Harry smiled up at her.
"But now that you're gay..." she continued.
"I'm not gay, at least I don't think so. Listen, Myrtle, you can't tell anyone about this." he pleaded.
"Harry, I don't talk to anyone besides you!" she said sadly, yet promisingly.
After a long conversation, in which Myrtle mainly flirted with Harry, the boy who lived curled up on the bath room floor and fell asleep. By the time he woke up in the morning he had already missed his first class, and he should have been in potions ten minutes before.
"Myrtle, why didn't you wake me?!?" He screamed, running to the sink and washing up a little.
"You looked so cute sleeping, I didn't want to disturb you." she cried.
Harry rolled his eyes and dashed to his dormitory to get his potions kit. By the time he made it all the way down to the dungeons afterward, it was thirty minutes into the class. He tried to sneak in for two reasons. Avoiding detention or house point deduction was on the bottom of his list for once. He didn't want to talk to Snape at all, in fear of his reaction of the night before.
"You're late Potter," Snape spoke up from his potions book. "Very late... thirty points from Gryffindor."
Harry didn't protest. He took his seat and heard Hermione's hushed lecture about how late he was.
"I don't see how Potter ever ended up in this class. This is N.E.W.T potions isn't it? I haven't stumbled upon a first year class, have I?" Draco joked from behind. There was an uproar from the Slytherins in the class room. Hermione whisper her ever famous "Just ignore them." and helped Harry catch up.
"Are you coming Harry?" Hermione asked at the end of class, meeting Ron at the door.
"I'll meet you in a few minutes." he said and waited for all of the students to exit the room before approaching the professor's desk. "Can I come to see you tonight?" Harry managed to force out of his throat. Snape looked up at the boy and although he wore an angry frown, his eyes screamed "YES!!!"
"I would think, Mr. Potter, that after you ran out last night without even an explanation, you wouldn't want to be around me anymore." he said calmly.
"Call me crazy, Professor, but I thought that just maybe we were becoming friends. If you let me go tonight, I'll tell you just why I did it and why I ran off." Harry said, smiling.
"Very well, now get off to lunch, Potter." Snape said sternly.
"Yes Sir." the boy winked before practically skipping off to the Great Hall.
"What's been up with you Harry?" Ron asked when his best friend sat down across from him for lunch. Harry smiled up at him. "Nothing, I'm actually feeling okay for once."
"Where were you last night, we were worried sick!" Hermione scolded.
"Sorry..." Harry took a bite of his grilled cheese sandwich.
"Well, I suppose to can't complain Hermione, he's actually eating!" Ron beamed.
"Hey guys!" Luna came walking over to them.
"Luna, what brings you around here?" Hermione asked.
"To tell you that the Hufflepuffs from the D.A. are holding a party in the Room of Requirement for all of students in my grade and yours." she said happily, taking a grape out of a bowl in front of Harry and popping it into her mouth. Hermione seemed interested in it, so Luna went on discussing the details of it.
Now that a more respectable Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher had been hired, the students were finally learning how to properly defend themselves. Harry had discontinued the D.A. meetings at the very beginning of the school year, so that he would have more time. It was too stressful to try to find days that worked for everyone, and after Sirius' death, he wasn't much up to being surround by people who's attention was only on him.
"You should go Harry." Hermione said, knocking him out of his memories.
"Wait, you, little miss perfect prefect, are suggesting I go to this party?" Harry laughed.
"I think it will be an enjoyable experience that are really need, Harry." Hermione said with concern sparkling in her eyes. "Please go tonight."
'Tonight?' Harry thought. He gulped. He couldn't turn down the party, because he would need a reason, and he couldn't tell his friends that he was going to go see Snape. He decided to go, but to leave early so he would still have time to visit his admirer.
Snape laid on his bed while he listened to Draco rant and rave about some party that was going on. "You should have seen it!" Draco laughed, "So many of them were drunk off of their asses. Like Potter and Seamus, I'm surprised they didn't choke on each other's tongues!"
"P-Potter...?" Snape asked, feeling any color he might actually have falling from his face.
"Yeah, Potter... you know, Harry Potter, The Boy Who Cried Voldemort?" Draco laughed. "They were rolling all over the floor snogging the heck out of each other!"
Snape merely stared into space at this statement.
"Are you okay, Sir?" Draco waved a hand in front of Snape's face.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just wondering... why were you at a party full of Gryffindors?" he lied.
"Well, we went there to trash it, but it was just too damn funny!" Draco fell out of the chair in laughter at the memories.
"I'm awfully tired, Malfoy, do you mind leaving?" Snape hissed in annoyance.
"Sure, see you tomorrow." Draco said, knowing he was still the student and he had to obey the order. He got up and walked out. Snape sighed and rubbed his face. He couldn't believe this, but he had to. Draco would never lie to him. All of the hope that had run into him the night before when Harry kissed him now rushed out of his body.
Green flames grew in his fireplace across the room. Dumbledore's head appeared. "What ever it is, can it please wait until the morning?" Snape huffed.
"I suppose, however," Dumbledore got that twinkle in his blue eyes, "young Mr. Potter is in the hospital wing, and he's asking for you." he finished before pulling his head out of the fireplace. "Dammit Harry..." Once the green flames disappeared, Snape jumped up and ran towards the hospital wing.
When he got there he saw Harry doubled up over a trash bin, throwing up. "Got a little drunk huh?" Snape smirked when he walked over to Harry and sat at a chair beside him. Harry smiled up at the man, and laid back down.
Snape, however, didn't smile back. "I've heard about you and Finnigan." he said, not looking at Harry. Harry hiccoughed and let out a small giggle. "That was quite fun..." he trailed off, throwing up into the trash bin again.
"You were supposed to visit me tonight. Instead I got stuck with Malfoy." Snape sneered.
"Jealous, Sevy?" Harry laughed.
After looking to make sure no one was around to hear that little drunken pet name, Snape glared angrily at Harry. "Of course I am not jealous. I merely was waiting your explanations." he spat.
"Are want to know why I kkiisseedd you last night?" Harry said in a childish tone.
"Yes." Snape said firmly, fixing the collar in his robes, and looking around again to make sure no one was in the room. "Yes, tell me why Harry."
"Maybe it's because you're sooo irresistible." the teenager giggled.
"I would perhaps take that as a compliment if you weren't so drunk!" Snape said, standing up and making his way out of the door. "Please, don't leave me!" Harry begged for the second night in a row. The boys loneliness burned a soft spot in Snape's heart, for he too was lonely. Now, that Harry was drunk and alone in the hospital wing, he didn't have the will to leave his secret love alone.
"Thank you." Harry breathed out when Snape walked back over to him.
"Just try to get to sleep," the older man said, "you still have to go to class tomorrow."
"Am I in trouble?" Harry asked, closing his eyes to prepare for sleep.
"I don't know, I barely talked to Professor Dumbledore." he answered, taking the risk of reaching out and grabbing Harry's hand. Harry smiled and turned slightly to get comfortable before falling asleep. Snape sat there most of the night running his thumb along Harry's palm, feelings absolutely incredible.
Harry awoke with a headache, however it barely fazed him. He was used to extremely worse migraines and such thanks to his scar. He felt something on his hand, and when he looked down he saw his hand entwined with Severus' and the man was passed out in his chair, his head resting face first into the side of Harry's bed.
As great as it was to have someone stay with him all night, he needed to ruin the prefect moment. If someone where to walk in, there would be a lot of questions to answer that Harry was sure he didn't know how to. With that thought, he gently pulled his hand away and swung out of bed.
Upon standing up his headache worsened, however he walked around to the other side of the bed and gently nudged Snape. "Severus, get up." he said quietly, and was shocked out of his mind when Snape flew up and pointed his wand at Harry.
"Calm down, I was just waking you! Last time I ever try to help you. You could have hexed my head off!" Harry complained and backed away from the man.
"S-Sorry..." Snape said, brushing off his robes. "Go get ready for class." he pushed by Harry and went to his quarters to change. Harry did the same thing and twenty minutes later he sat down next to Hermione in potions.
"Feeling better?" she said with a tone that was half giggle half concern.
"Yes, no thanks to you." Harry said, starting his potion.
"What'd you expect me to do?!" she all but screamed.
"For one, after practically forcing me to go to that party, you could have made sure I didn't get drunk off my ass. And after I was drunk you could have stop me from... interacting with Seamus in such ways." he whispered.
"Harry... I'm sorry but you really needed it. You needed to loosen up and have some fun. It was for your own good, Harry." she finished with a smile.
"Well I was doing just fine for once, and that almost ruined it!" he glared at her.
Before she could retort, the professor walked in front of them. "How do you plan on finishing your potions if you don't even take the time to breathe in this endearing conversation your having." he hissed. Hermione instantly went back to chopped up her ingredients. Harry looked up at Snape with a look of hate plastered on his face but his eyes told the truth; 'Thank you'.
Later that night Snape received a knock on his bedroom door. "Come in." he said, too lazy to get off of his bed to answer it. Thinking it was just Draco, he was surprised to see Harry Potter walk into his room. "Hullo." Harry said before walking over to the large chair and curling up in it.
"What brings you here?" Snape asked, sitting up.
"I couldn't stay away..." Harry half laughed, telling Snape it wasn't completely a lie.
Not knowing what to say, Severus just smiled slightly.
"Did you hear me and Hermione's conversation today?" asked Harry.
"Parts of it. I'm glad to know that you didn't want to be in that situation." he said, just above a whisper. Harry smiled at him and sighed. It was too dark to see the boys eyes, he couldn't decipher Harry's emotions.
With the wave of his hand he lit a few candles around the room, letting the light radiate through the room, brightening Harry's face. "That's better." Harry said what Snape was thinking, and started walking about the room. He started touching different bits and bobs around the room, searching Snape's identity away from class.
"Ah, what's this!" Harry exclaimed, opening one a Snape's drawers.
"Oh no..." the man slapped himself over the head for leaving it unlocked.
"A little Harry Potter shire, perhaps?" Harry asked, pulling out a stack of news paper and magazine clippings. Every article and picture of Harry that was ever printed, some Harry hadn't even seen, were in there. He laughed and put them back before walking back over to the chair.
"So, Potter, do you ever plan on telling me why you walked out the other night? I think you've found out quite enough about me now, I deserve a little information myself."
"Maybe... if you stop calling me Potter!" he said firmly, but with a smile.
"Fine...Harry...now tell me." he looked up in anticipation.
"The truth?... well, I don't know why I kissed you in the first place, I suppose because I was catch up in the moment. I haven't felt good about myself in months, and when I read your journal... if it was like a major confident boost. Then I came here and it was almost like we were becoming friends. I'm sorry about it." Harry said, fiddling with his thumbs.
"Don't be sorry, Harry." Snape said, and waved Harry on.
"Right, of course you wouldn't be mad." Harry laughed and then continued, "Well after it happened I kind of thought that maybe it would have made you snap, that you would have yelled at me, and perhaps tell Dumbledore. I didn't want to get expelled, so I just ran."
"I don't know that you can get expelled for that... but even if you could I wouldn't have told." Snape said with genuine smile. "Now tell me... what were you thinking while it was happening?"
Harry sighed happily. "I never knew that so many thoughts could run through my mind within a split second." he laughed and tried to avoid explaining just how amazing he thought it was. "What about you?" he asked instead.
"Me? You mean what was I feeling?" he asked, and Harry nodded. "Well... I'm not one to expose my feelings." he finished with a smirk.
"Boy...do I know." Harry laughed thinking about the journal, and how Snape treated him trying to hide it all. He smiled and stood up, walking towards his potential lover. "Can I ask you a favor?" he asked, kneeling one leg on Snape's bed.
"Any....anything." the man said, looking up at Harry.
"Just...hug me." Harry said quietly.
"...what..." Snape barely said.
"Oh come on, we both know you want to. It's written in practically every entry in your journal." Harry teased. "...please..." Snape merely nodded and moved over. Harry sat down next to him on the bed and almost started crying as Severus took him in his arms, and cradled him tight. They sat like that for over five minutes until there was a loud knock on the door.
"Snape! I need to talk to you!!"
"Shit, Malfoy..." Severus said, and pushed Harry into his closet.
!$!$! Well...what did you think? Was it okay for someone who started out half a sleep...then stopped to get six hours of sleep...and then came back with an empty stomach? lol well I'm going to go brew my potion...I mean...make Mac and cheese...yeeaah... see ya! Review!!!