7. "I know I'm awake, so why does it feel like I'm dreaming?"

Tifa reached out and stroke away a lock of Rufus' hair as she sat by his bed, still waiting for him to wake up. It was two days later now that they'd arrived in Rocket Town, but still Rufus hadn't come around. Tifa refused to listen to Cloud, who gave up when the Phoenix Down failed to wake the ex-president, reminding him that Rufus had survived worse things! Still, her eyes were tired and it was pure will that held her together. Most of the time Tifa wanted to cry, but knew it wouldn't help. Rufus was lying pale and dead-still, so very unlike the Rufus she had gotten used to. The arrogance were still to be traced in the fine features, but there was no cold distance radiating from him, and the child-like helplessness broke Tifas heart.

"Don't you think it's about time you woke up now, ShinRa?" She pleaded softly, as she'd done numerous times by now, "it's not like you to be so lazy, you know."

The attempt at humor went as expected unresponsive, and Tifa fought back a sob of despair. - Damn you, ShinRa, she thought, telling herself to get a grip. - Damn you for doing this to me! Tifa wasn't even sure he cared the least about her. In fact, she didn't know anything about Rufus ShinRa. She doubted anyone really did.

That kiss on the Highwind; it could easily been to annoy Cloud as to show his affection. Tifa got a slight smile. Considering what she thought she knew about him, it was probably a little of both!

Well, it had worked; Cloud were bombarding her with questions, Barret were near a stroke and Cid were fuming in more ways than one. Tifa laughed softly and took Rufus' hand in both of hers; "you'd be having the time of your life if you could only see and hear them..."

She bent her head and placed a light kiss on his warm hand. "We're going after Sephiroth the day after tomorrow..."

The decision had been made that very day when Cid demanded a final day to work on the Highwind, muttering something about a surprise he wanted to install. Tifa straightened and gazed silently at Rufus again, so pale and still. The bullets had made quite a lot of damage, but that was repaired with Cure3, the cause to worry were the heavy blood-loss. What if he never woke up? Tifa couldn't bear that thought!

She had to know where she stood with him! Time were slipping away and she wasn't so sure if she'd survive the fight with Sephiroth, so there'd come a tone of desperation in her voice. Cloud entered the room, asked if there were any changes, pleaded for her to eat and get some sleep, but was quickly chased out of the room. Finally alone again, Tifa sighed resigned as she sat down on Rufus' bed and stroke a light hand over his hair, correcting it to the style he wanted. "Rufus... please..."

Two hours later, Tifa held her breath in surprise and joy as Rufus ShinRa slowly, yet frighteningly controlled, opened his ice blue eyes.

"Rufus!" She exclaimed and jumped to her feet.

Feeling insanely weak, Rufus gazed calmly over at her; "we really should stop meeting this way."

Tifa laughed delighted at the cliche and sat down on the chair beside his bed. "I was so worried you wouldn't wake up! I've only seen Phoenix Down not work one time before... with Aeris..."

Rufus drew a deep and slow breath, she had been worried about him. Nobody ever worried about him. He wasn't too sure what to think about it. "Well," Rufus said casually, "I'm not her, now am I?"

Tifa shook her head and to surprise him even more; she took his hand. "I'm really glad you're ok, Rufus."

Her soft voice and sincere eyes made him feel uneasy. "Yeah, well, uh... how long have I been out?" Rufus decided it was better to change the subject, and sat up.

Only Tifa seemed determined to make things worse as she got up and corrected the pillow to support his back; having her that close were the hardest test of will-power Rufus had ever been subjected to.

"Two days," Tifa informed and sat down again, to find him stare at her with a strange look in his eyes, "what?"

And this time it was Rufus who started as if he'd been caught with his hand in the cookie-jar; "nothing! Just a little woozy, that's all!" He just wished his voice hadn't sounded so damn squeaky!

Tifa gathered her courage and gazed down at the floor; "when you were shot... I thought you were going to die."

Rufus frowned; "By all rights, I should have!" He pulled the covers down to his waist to study the faint scars at the right side of his stomach; "how the hell did you manage to keep me alive?"

Tifa gazed up, blushed deeply with embarrassment and quickly gazed down again; "I, uhm, well, Cloud cast Cure3 pretty fast..."

Rufus were first amused at her embarrassment, then frowned at his lack of clothes and cast a quick glimpse around the room in search of them; "I see. Now, where are my clothes or am I supposed to wander about in my boxers?"

Tifas eyes widened and she quickly gazed up to see if he was serious; Rufus' taunting look told her he was. "No no! T-they're right over here! I'll get them!" She jumped to her feet and got the clothes from the chair by the closet. As she walked back, Tifa noticed the smug grin on his face and decided to see how well she knew him after all! Halting a meter from the bed, she stroke a hand over the white pants she held over her left arm; "and I'll give them to you as well if you agree to answer a question."

Rufus raised his eyebrows surprised and leaned back with his hands behind his neck; "Oh really now?"

Tifa forced herself to stand still, blushing like a tomato, and nodded.

Rufus gesticulated weakly with one hand before placing it behind his neck again; "alright. Shoot."

Swallowing nervously, Tifa drew a deep breath and forced herself to meet his eyes; "why did you kiss me a-aboard the Highwind?"

Rufus froze and his hands sunk to his sides; "excuse me?"

Tifa shrugged and began smoothing out imaginary folds in the pants; "you heard me. Why did you?"

Rufus discovered his mouth had dropped open and clamped it shut. His mind were racing after some answer he could give to make it all go away. "Uhm..." His mind failed miserably.

Tifa hesitatingly gazed over at him, uncertainty in her eyes; "was it just to annoy Cloud?"

Rufus knew that wasn't the right answer. She'd only get hurt and angry with him, and for some weird reason he didn't want that. Instead he said the first thing that came to him; "..."

Tifa shifted uneasily, slightly irritated now. "Aren't you even going to answer?"

Rufus lit up, a well-known grin spread across his face; "no. I don't think I feel like it!"

Tifa's eyes widened in disbelief and then narrowed in anger. "You answer me, Rufus, or these pants go out the window!"

Laughing lazily, Rufus shrugged; "fine by me."

Tifa lifted an eyebrow with a smirk; "Oh really now? I find it hard to belive that Rufus ShinRa wouldn't mind walking around dressed like you are now, in a town with a whole lot of people, who would just love a good laugh at your expense!"

She saw he was about to say something and interrupted him; "and who do you think will get your clothes for you? Hmm? If you're thinking about ordering Cait Sith, it's an easy task for me to keep him away, and I seriously doubt any of the others will help you."

Anger flew up in Rufus, realising he'd been outsmarted, then the strangest thing happened; he broke out laughing! "My my, it would seem you're no angel whatsoever, Miss Lockhart! Never have I been the victim of such a cruel blackmail, conceived by a devious criminal-mastermind!"

Tifa blushed even more, not sure she'd had the nerve to actually carry through that threat. "Just answer the damn question!"

She had to gaze away when his sparkling amused eyes locked on her.

"Well then, what can I say?" Rufus philosophised, relaxing into the pillows again, "I was going into the lion's den and figured a man about to get himself killed has the right to one final wish."

Gazing over him again, Tifa to a cautious step towards him; "but..." she began and Rufus interrupted irritated with softly growling the words;

"because I like you, alright?"

Tifas eyes widened and she clutched the clothes tightly, afraid to wake up and find it all was a dream. Rufus gazed harshly at the wall opposite from her, very keenly aware that she hadn't said anything. Now she would definitely freak out! He clenched his jaw hard, cursing himself for those stupid words. Whatever possessed him to say something like that?! A tiny voice inside him screamed;

because it's true, you moron!

"Rufus...? Rufus, look at me," Tifa asked as she stood by his bed, and reluctantly he obeyed. She gazed hopefully into his eyes, praying she could tell if he really meant it. Only it was impossible to see anything as a wall of ice covered his very soul, and too soon did Rufus turn his face away again. Had she seen something...?

Slowly turning his face back, Tifa decided to see if she would feel what she'd dismissed as impossible earlier.

Rufus' eyes widened slightly with surprise as she gently placed her lips against his, but soon they closed as he responded softly while letting one hand slide behind her neck. Tifa's pulse were pumping, her knees trembling and her heart was melting. As Rufus' deepened the kiss, she couldn't help herself but to stroke a hand over his bare chest so tempting and within reach, feeling him tremble slightly under her touch. Tifa had all the answers she needed; the softness of his lips, the light caresses of his hand on her neck and his sensitiveness for her responding to him; yet she couldn't quite make herself pull away.

Tifa bit back a whimper as Rufus withdrew his lips only to let them caress the side of her neck, this time she shivered under the feeling of his warm breath on her skin. With trembling hands, she took a hold of his face and caught his lips with hers again, savouring the feeling before withdrawing and replacing her lips with her index-finger. "I'll... I'll go tell the others you're awake..." Tifa whispered numbly and got up on her feet.

Rufus blinked disbelieving. She did 'that' to him and left?! "Tifa...!" He objected frustrated,

but she gave him a pleading look so intense that he bit back his remarks and held his eyes firmly shut until he heard the door close behind her. Then he tossed and turned in bed until Rufus ShinRa got up to take the coldest shower in his life.

When he walked down the stairs from the second floor of the inn, Rufus froze on the final step, still correcting the back of his shirt collar when he noticed just about everyone in the Avalanche was gathered and stared at him. "What?"

He gazed cautiously from one to the other, dwelling slightly at Tifa, then let his arms sink.

Cloud cleared his throat and shrugged; "we just didn't we were going to see anymore of you. You were pretty out of it, ShinRa."

Rufus straightened with a jerk and snorted offended; "I'm touched by your concern, Strife, though it was highly unnecessary."

He then strode pass them all and worthily closed the door behind him. Barret sputtered some incoherent curses and wasn't too sure it was a good thing that Rufus ShinRa had tricked death one more time.

Cloud bit back his own poisonous comments and set his eyes in Tifa; "he seems back to his old 'charming' self."

Feeling how they all demanded an explanation, Tifa paled. She wasn't sure what was happening herself, how was she supposed to be able to explain it to them?! "Yes... Well... I'd better go and make sure he doesn't overdo it or get himself into trouble."

Red blocked the way when Cloud wanted to follow her; "let her go."

The former SOLDIER stared confused at the giant cat; "what?"

Red sat down and gazed calmly up at him; "she's confused. Can't you tell? She'll explain when she's ready."

Cloud grumbled dissatisfied, but knew Red was right. "He'd better not hurt her!"

"Rufus! Wait!" Tifa called out, and to her great irritation, he merely walked on.

"Hey!" She exclaimed and slapped his shoulder when she caught up with him.

Slightly surprised by her anger, Rufus took a step away. "What's your problem?" He couldn't help but to admire her angry pose. She truly was damn fine-looking!

Tifa placed her hands on her hips and glared at him; "didn't you hear me?" She forced herself to calm down and exhaled; "anyway, we should talk."

Rufus' face turned back to emotionless as he shrugged; "about what?"

It seemed pretty clear that she didn't want him; the way she always ran to Cloud.

Tifa's eyes flickered with uncertainty, painfully reminded of how poorly she knew him. "I... I..." Her courage failed, everything finally became too much! Like the coward she was; Tifa turned and ran.

Rufus blinked surprised, then called out after her; "Tifa!"

When she didn't even slow down, Rufus cursed everything, but mostly himself, and took off after her. He lost sight of her for a few seconds as she disappeared behind one of the pillars that had held the rocket up, but soon heard a quiet sobbing. Feeling like a complete bastard, Rufus drew a deep breath before rounding the pillar.

Tifa stood with her back towards him, hiding her face in her hands as her shoulders shook slightly.

"Tifa..." He said softly, recognizing how she froze by the sound of his voice.

"Leave me alone, Rufus..." She pleaded silently, but a pang of irritation prevented him from obeying her wish.

"Damn it, Lockhart! Look at me!" The ex-president demanded, and braced himself against the tear-stricken face that met him as she stiffly turned around. "You wanted to talk," Rufus said tiredly and gesticulated faintly as he obviously had the habit of doing, "so talk."

Forcing herself to stop crying, Tifa shook her head slightly as her wine-coloured eyes gazed sadly into his; "I don't understand you, Rufus. I really don't."

Crossing his arms, Rufus leaned his shoulder against the pillar and raised his eyebrows puzzled; "and what brought this on?"

For some twisted reason he did not like at all that he was to blame to the tears on her cheeks.

Tifa sniffled and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "You say one thing, then act quite the opposite! I never know if you mean what you say..." She gazed pleadingly at him,

and Rufus shifted uneasily; "Well, I never know if you mean what you do."

Tifa blinked surprised; "if I mean what I...do?" It was then she realised he meant that he thought she'd kissed him for fun, and a violent blush crept up her cheeks. Did he think she ran around and kissed every guy she met? "I'll have you know, Mr ShinRa," Tifa declared as worthily as she could manage under the insanely embarrassing situation, "that it's not my habit to get personal with any man I happen to meet!"

A slow smile spread over Rufus' face as he realised how she'd misunderstood what he meant. "I do not doubt those words, Miss Lockhart. But what I referred to were your fascination with Strife."

Tifa turned an even deeper shade of red and nervously stroke her hair behind her ears with both hands; "I... Cloud and I are just friends..."

Rufus shifted again, pretending not to be particularly interested in her answer; "oh? By the looks of it, and from what I've heard, you wouldn't mind getting personal with him?"

He watched as she struggled for an answer, not sure why he didn't just turn and leave. Hell, he wasn't sure why he'd followed her in the first place.

Tifa drew a shivering breath and met his eyes; hoping in vain he could understand her confusion. "It's true that Cloud and I have maybe a little more then a friendship, but his heart belongs to Aeris. I know that, and there is nothing I can do about it. But what confuses me is you, Rufus! I sometimes think you actually do like me, but I'm afraid that I'm not strong enough to be just one of your girls. I... "

Words failed her and she turned away again. He wouldn't understand. She didn't understand herself, how could she expect him to? Tifa wrapped her arms around herself, suddenly feeling very tired and cold. Rufus hadn't said anything, and she wasn't even sure he was even still there.

Suddenly she felt him gently placing his hands on her bare shoulders, standing so close to her that she could feel his trenchcoat brush against her legs due to a slight breeze. He didn't say anything. He didn't have to. Tifa bent her head slightly and closed her eyes; suddenly wanting nothing more then for things to stay like that forever.

Rufus let his hands slide down her arms, following them down to place his hands over hers; pulling her closer into his embrace, and nor this time did she pull away. Instead, she seemed to welcome his warmth and leaned against him. Rufus closed his eyes as well, sighing silently at the hopeless situation, Still, it felt good this; just holding her. It felt right.