Legolas's Magical Breeches
Legolas's marriage to Flipper had long shattered. For one, Flipper didn't particularly like the name Legolas had given him (he was a spider) and left Legolas for a wife of his own species.
Legolas having grieved enough over Gollum decided to stay cool this time. Having no one to please, he spent his single life hanging around, relaxing.
His daily routine was boring, but nonetheless satisfying – get up, bathe, eat, bathe, climb trees, bathe, eat, bathe, go for a walk, bathe, eat, bathe, watch the stars, bathe and go to bed.
On one occasion, he had begun preparing to bathe in a particularly nice pond when he stripped off his breeches with a bit too much gusto.
The breeches flew out of sight and Legolas was left with a bare bottom.
He realised immediately that a prince should never wander around pant less, so of course he began wandering around immediately half naked attempting to find them.
After wandering around for a considerable amount of time, occasionally hearing the sound of female giggling, Legolas finally found them.
And there they were, hanging high on the branches of an extremely tall tree.
Legolas proceeded to climb the tree. He had climbed many trees in his long life, but this one seemed so much more of a challenge. His bare legs were scratched and he was always conscious that any passer by could just look up and see his uncovered backside.
He climbed quicker and soon reached the villainous branch that caused him so much trouble. He grabbed his pants and put them on presto and began to climb down.
He did not make it. He was caught by the absolute beauty of the tree and gazed at it with longing eyes.
The tree had to be his one true love – it was quiet and strong, something Legolas always looked for in a partner. Legolas hugged it many times and climbed to its highest point to "face" it.
Meanwhile, Thranduil who had not heard from his son for quite a while now started to get worried. He sent one of Legolas's many brothers to go find Legolas and bring him back.
Unfortunately, Legolas's brother met Flipper's wife and she, thinking Legolas's brother was the horrendous Legolas himself (because those elves all look bloody identical) who her darling was always talking about, gave him a good kick and sent into a big ditch into the ground.
Legolas's brother could find no way of getting out and was stuck.
Legolas was left undisturbed and he and the tree (which he named Fang) both said, "I do" and lived together lovingly.
The End.
&This is getting really stupid. I've now written THREE of these. Boredom is overtaking me. Does anyone know any of the names of any of Legolas's many brothers? If so, please tell me so I don't have to keep writing "Legolas's brother". Thanks.