Thank you reviewers (and readers)! I agree with your comments about Legolas though I would like to point out that I am neither mad nor weird nor obsessed with Legolas (or so I like to think).
The Acquisition Of Covering And New Love
When Legolas woke up he was very, very unhappy. He was in a lot of pain from exerting all that energy to stay in an uncomfortably tight position during the giant vacuuming winds the previous night. He was completely naked save for a leaf that had blown itself to cover his…private parts.
But worst of all, he had just lost his love who he discovered had been cheating on him.
"Oh cruel world!" he howled, "Why must you torment me so? You have made a miserable elf of me, why must I suffer so much at once?"
And suddenly the leaf blew away. Legolas collapsed, unable to take anymore.
When he came to, Legolas was filled with newfound motivation to get his life back on track. But first he needed clothing.
His royal backside was not used to leaves, so Legolas decided, "Proper clothing, or no clothing at all!" And set off to search for his clothes. Nakedly.
He wandered and searched and looked and sought. All was in vain. Legolas sat down, disheartened, and fell immediately into a large ditch.
He stumbled and brandished his arms around, trying to scramble out. He was however, distracted, for before his eyes fabric floated. Legolas's arms swung at this newly discovered attire.
Now, this was but the same ditch that Legolas's brother had gotten kicked into and had been stuck in for the past two decades. The empty mess had driven him mad and at first sight of Legolas, he saw a ladder. So while Legolas yanked off his brother's clothes, his brother clambered over him.
Soon each elf had what they wanted. As Legolas put on his "new" clothes, his brother ran off, in the nude, back to the palace. Upon his arrival, many things happened. They were not pleasant.
Meanwhile, Legolas was sitting happily in the ditch and sighing with content. He suddenly noticed his surroundings, and boy was it gorgeous.
The ditch was a stunning ditch, more stunning than any of his previous loves. "Will you marry me?" asked Legolas shyly and the ditch agreed. So Legolas lived with, or rather, inside Tiny. He was a very happy elf.
The end. (Or is it? No it's not. It never is.) Thank you for reading. Please get yourself a cool drink while I work out how many more loves Legolas has to go through. In the meantime, feel free to read Legolas's other adventures.