Author Notes - Alright, I have decided that Sand Mountain will not be appearing in this story, due to the level's complete lack of any sort of real story, even compared to the other levels. However, I'll be making up for it by including Robot Squidward. AND, he won't just be in the background of some terrible multiplayer mood!

CHAPTER SEVEN - TO THE MERMALAIR, AWAAAAAY!

'Hear me now. I will crush you all underneath my-!'

*BONK*

'And now, back to Retirement Home Girls Gone Wild!'

When our heroes rushed to Shady Shoals, they weren't quite expecting Mermaid Man to ask them to fix his TV. Plankton had been on screen for about a second before SpongeBob got the program back to normal, by bashing it of course.

'It's all fixed and ready to go, Mermaid Man!' SpongeBob said. 'Just doing my service to the greatest superhero duo the world has ever seen.'

'Thank you, TV Repairman!' Mermaid Man said.

'Ya watchin' what now?' Sandy asked. 'Never mind. I don't wanna know.'

Squidward groaned. 'Can we leave now? I don't like retirement homes. They're just another reminder that we're all gonna get old and die one day.'

'Squidward!' Patrick yelled. 'Don't say that in front of the old people. That's rude!'

'May I remind you all what you're doing here in the first place?' Barnacle Boy asked, hands on hips. 'You have a lair to clear out.'

SpongeBob ran up to the young ward with a massive grin on his face. 'I'LL GLADLY HELP YOU!'

'Okay then, but lighten up a bit on the enthusiasm. You're making my bowels act up. You sure you're up to this task?'

'Absolutely, Barnacle Boy!

'Wel,l go over to the couch to access the Mermalair. We'll meet you down there.'

… Oh, I am up now? I do apologise. My entrance was delayed. Hm… TV Announcer?

The Mermalair! Secret fortress of the wrinkly superheroes: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy! The robots have run amok in the lair, and it's up to a yellow idiot and his friends to save the day! Let's hope they've got their coloured underwear on.

'EEEEVILLL!'

'They're not evil! They just agreed to…! Oh, never mind.'

'MERMAID MAN AND BARNACLE BOY!'

'AAHHH!'

The Mermalair was just how SpongeBob and co remembered it being from the 'Evil Barnacle Boy' Incident. They gathered around the table in their meeting room, as it was just about the only place that wasn't swarming with annoying robots. SpongeBob and Patrick were as excited as they could be. Sandy was just going along with it, while Squidward looked ready for death. Barnacle Boy buried his face in his hands, and Mermaid Man almost had a heart attack.

'Knock it off, SpongeKid!' Barnacle Boy said. 'You haven't left our side once. Stop acting like you've just seen us. And don't yell like that. Mermaid Man's heart's not so good.' He narrowed his eyes. 'Come to think of it, nothing on him is that good anymore.'

'Sorry Mermaid Man.' SpongeBob said, his smile deflating. 'It's just that I'm always so excited to see you two! Standing in your awesome presence gives me the chills of justice!' He pointed to his arm. 'See, I've got goosebumps on my goosebumps on my goosebumps on my goosebumps on my-'

'Never mind your goosebumps, young sponge of goodness!' Mermaid Man said. 'We have a hoard of evil robots to vanquish, and they have taken over the security system! EEEVIIILL!'

'But you can do it!' Patrick said. 'You're the greatest superheroes in the world.'

'But it's Thursday, and we have a whole bunch of doctor's appointments!'

Barnacle Boy groaned. 'Well, they'll have to wait. If the robots have full control of our security system, they can do some pretty scary things.'

'Like what?' Sandy asked.

Just like clockwork, the Chief appeared on the screen before anyone even had the time to register Sandy's question.

'Super Acquaintances!' He said. 'We need- wait, you're not in costume.'

'Holy halibut!' SpongeBob cried. 'It's the-!'

'Yes, we know!' Squidward said. 'We've done all this before. Stop acting like this is all a new thing for us.'

'What are you even doing here, Chief?' Barnacle Boy asked. 'We don't even know if this robot problem requires the Super Acquaintances yet.'

'I'm just going to pretend you're all in costume. The robotic invasion is creating more problems than you think. They've disabled the security system, and now members of E.V.I.L are on the loose!'

There was a chorus of gasps from our superhero team. And one disgruntled sigh from an octopus who didn't want to be here.

'Those robotic FIENDS!' Mermaid Man yelled. 'Don't they realise the EVIIIL that they've unleashed onto the world?!'

'They may not, but we certainly do.' The Chief said. 'Luckily, they haven't gotten far. They're all still in the Mermalair! It seems the robots freed them just to mess with our heads.'

'Well that makes this easy!' Patrick said.

'Got any idea where they are?' Sandy asked. 'This place is purty big and I don't wanna explore everywhere just ta find nothin'.'

'They're just about everywhere! In fact, one of them is approaching this very room right now.'

'What's that?' Mermaid Man asked. 'An evildoer on the approach? Who is it? Man Ray? The Atomic Flounder? The Dirty Bubble?!'

The door to the room flung open, and most of our heroes gasped at the sight - the exception obviously being Squidward. Even though Sandy had no idea who this particular villain was. Whoever he was, he was just as small as Plankton but had a big funnel-shaped jetpack that put him on everyone else's eye level.

'PRAAAAWWWWN!' Mermaid Man yelled, shaking his fist towards the sky.

'NOT HIM!' SpongeBob cried, his hands grabbing onto the corners of his head.

'Who?' Sandy asked.

'Did someone call?' Prawn said, speaking with a thick French accent. 'Oh, I thought maybe I was looking at superheroes, but now I see it's just a couple of pieces of gnarled driftwood. Accompanied by a big blob of bubblegum, a pile of blue spaghetti, a furry rat, and some kind of mould.'

Well, he may be a bit of a jerk, but I do like zat accent.

SpongeBob's eyes narrowed. 'I'm not a mould. I'm a sponge! There's a cellular difference. A CELLULAR DIFFERENCE!'

'Yeah, yeah. Zanks for zee lesson, Dr. Science. I just zought I'd drop by to tell you philistines zat my fellow baddies and I want just one zing: to leave your dismal lair even more dismal!'

Prawn did a decent evil laugh and left the room, slamming the door shut behind him. Our lustrous heroes didn't even try to chase after him, just sitting there and staring at the door in horror.

'We have to stop him!' SpongeBob said, slamming his fist into the table.

'I'm sorry,' Sandy said. 'What did he even do?'

Patrick gasped. 'You don't know? He did the most sinister and despicable thing that a supervillain could ever think to do!' Dramatic pause. 'He put all of Mermaid Man's white clothes in the washer… WITH A RED SOCK!'

'Everything I owned turned pink!' Mermaid Man yelled. 'PINK!'

'Personally,' SpongeBob said, fluttering his eyelashes a little. 'I thought pink made you look very pretty.'

'Really?'

'This isn't the time to go into our backstories!' The Chief said. 'We have a group of villains to stop! And I think there's only one way to do it.'

A light in the room suddenly turned on, shining upon four superhero suits up in a glass display. Each of them were labelled with certain superhero names.

'You'll have to team up as the International Justice League of Super Acquaintances!'

'Again?' Squidward asked. 'We tried that once. And it didn't end well.'

'It could've ended well for you guys,' Barnacle Boy said. 'If you didn't start off the battle by setting the Quickster on fire.'

'Hey! It wasn't my fault if that senile grandpa couldn't tell the difference between me and SpongeBob! Or if Sandy over there knew to look both ways before making a move. Or-'

'This is a chance for us to do it again, but better!' SpongeBob said. 'I think it's worth a try. Plus, I've already wanted to try dressing up as the Quickster again. Do you wanna see me run to that mountain and back again?'

'No.' Squidward said. 'I'm not having a single part of this. And if the very next scene is me in costume, I swear to-'

CAPTAIN MAGMA! GET HIM ANGRY, AND HE-

'I'M NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE THE FIRST ONE INTRODUCED!' Squidward shouted, donning the proper costume.

I'LL INTRODUCE YOU IN WHATEVER ORDER MAKES THE JOKE FUNNY!

As much as Squidward didn't want it to be true, our heroes were all in their Internati- IJLSA costumes, just the same as before. Except this time, Barnacle Boy was on their side.

THE ELASTIC WAISTBAND! ABLE TO-!

'This is great!' Patrick said, twisting his foot all over his body until it touched his hand. 'I can finally touch my toes again!'

HELLO? I'M TRYING TO GIVE YOU AN EPIC INTRODUCTION!

'Since no one answered me the first time,' Sandy said. 'Does this Miss Appear costume make me look fat?'

SpongeBob gave her outfit a closer look. 'Pffft... obviously not! ... Unless you want it to, in which case it totally does!'

'ENOUGH OF THE INTRODUCTIONS!' Barnacle Boy yelled. 'How are we supposed to take care of any villains if we're just sitting around doing nothing? We have justice to serve!'

Mermaid Man stuck his arm in the air like an epic hero, and then bellowed: 'TO THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE, AWAAAAAY!'

And then he charged out the door, with absolutely no clue where the other villains were. Which didn't seem to matter, seeing as he was going to the doctor's office instead. All those appointments, you see.

Barnacle Boy groaned. 'Okay, I guess you guys will have to do that on your own. I don't know if I can trust you, seeing what happened last time, but this can't possibly be as bad.'

'Wanna bet?' Squidward asked.

'Just… don't touch anything that doesn't need to be touched. If I come back and see all four of you entranced by the Orb of Confusion, I'm banning you all from the Mermalair.'

SpongeBob gasped. 'No! Anything but that!'

'So don't touch anything! We'll be back as soon as possible. Until then… To the doctor's office. Away.'

Barnacle Boy left the room just like Mermaid Man did, only without any of the enthusiasm or hammy acting but instead the dedication of an overworked retail worker. Like Squidward, in other words. That left our rather inexperienced heroes to deal with the situation.

'We got this, guys!' SpongeBob said. 'We'll be fine. Let's just make sure we do better than before.'

'We can only go up from there…' Sandy said, blushing a little as she remembered her embarrassing outing as Miss Appear.

'Well, if we're doing this,' Squidward said. 'I might as well get into it. KRAKATOA!'

A big blast of smoking lava was fired from the volcano on the top of his head, with all the power and force of a real volcano.

'WOAH!'

And SpongeBob had to use his super quick speed to dodge out of the way. At least they had learnt from their last attempt.

'Oh yeah.' Sandy said. 'We're off ta a real good start.'

'HOORAY!' Patrick yelled.

'Alright.' SpongeBob said. 'These bad guys are probably all over the place. I think we should split up and deal with them ourselves. I'm sure we can do it!'

'If you insist.' Squidward remarked.

'Okay! International Justice League of Super Acquaintances, AWAY!'

Unsurprisingly, Spo… uh, I mean, the Quickster… was the first to find a bad guy. Super speed was helpful like that. In fact, he didn't just find one supervillain. He found two.

'BLAST THIS STUPID GAME!' Man Ray shouted, shaking his fists towards the sky.

'This isn't worth it.' Dirty Bubble said. 'I say we just destroy it. Get it all dirty!'

'I refuse to let myself be beaten! I will conquer this stupid game even if it's the last thing I do!'

'Wouldn't you prefer world domination? Or forcing Mermaid Man to get dirt?'

'This is more important!'

The Quickster didn't even confront them at first, too distracted by the 'stupid game' they were occupied with. It was just a gigantic marble game that took up almost the whole room. It had a little path made of wooden poles that led the big marble across several obstacles, like a scooper or tilting platform. At the end was a weighted platform, connected to a glass dome hiding some sort of device.

'Okay…' Man Ray said, calming himself down. 'Let's try this again.'

He punched a big red button, and a giant marble plopped onto the start of the path. Immediately afterwards, he rushed to twist a platform around to finish the path, hit a button to prepare the first scooper, and waited to move the next until the ball had almost reached it.

'Come on!' Dirty Bubble said. 'I'm sure we can do it this time!'

It was going pretty well… until a giant hammer knocked the ball into the pit, because Man Ray had forgotten to press another button.

'ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!' He shouted.

'Alright, that was your fault that time.' Dirty Bubble said. 'You've made that mistake five times now!'

'If you're so smart, why don't you do this?!'

'I would, but it's kind of hard doing this puzzle when I don't have any arms.'

In just the blink of an eye, the Quickster appeared right in front of them.

'IT'S THE QUICKERSTER!' They yelled at once.

Man Ray reached for his raygun and Dirty Bubble prepared some of his dirty bad breath. They didn't fire their weapons, however, for they noticed that the Quickster didn't seem ready to take them down.

'What are you guys so frustrated with?' The Quickster asked. 'This marble game?'

'GRRRR! Don't remind me.' Man Ray said, putting his hand to his face. 'It's impossible!'

'We've been trying to get the ball to that platform there,' Dirty Bubble said. 'So we can win whatever is under the glass. But we're having some trouble… because this cursed course isn't built well!'

The Quickster grinned. 'Well, maybe I can be of help!'

The Elastic Waistband just kind of wandered around aimlessly, likely having forgotten his mission the second he left the door. So it was kind of by luck when he encountered his bad guy, who he found in a room that should have had a whole bunch of shelves and gadgets lined up for display. But now, it was totally empty.

Well, except for the giant moving tower in the middle of the room, of course. It was a moving tower attached to the back of a hermit crab dressed up like a stereotypical burglar.

'Is this all they have?' The Sneaky Hermit asked herself (yes, herself), as she scuttered through the room. 'Those philistines clearly have no taste in the finer arts. Oh well, at least those old coots will never find me.' She chuckled. 'Which is kind of a shame. I mean, where's the credit?'

The Elastic Waistband extended his legs all the way over to her, and the rest of his body snapped back into place. She gasped at the sight, while he just smiled like an idiot.

'Hi there!' He greeted, waving.

'The Elastic Waistband? You shouldn't-!' The Sneaky Hermit said, before sighing. 'Oh, you're just that dumb starfish guy from that movie. You played the… Mayor's kid, I think. The guy trapped in that fortress of stink-itude if I remember. I think.'

'I got a lot of definition in my thighs. That movie was fun!'

'Hmph… I beg to differ.' She crossed her arms. 'What a disrespect. The guy they got to play me looked nothing like me! I'd give it a pass since he - he - at least got my personality right, but then I saw how I was defeated. Pepper. They wrote the scene so I was defeated by a silly pepper shaker. Of all things!'

She waltzed back and forth during her little rant, and something fell off her shell: a sub sandwich. If the Elastic Waistband still remembered the mission at hand, he certainly didn't know and was quickly thinking with his stomach. He licked his lips, and grabbed it off the floor from a few feet away. He was about to take a bite, but…

'Wait a minute!' He said. 'This needs something. Hmmm… oh, I know. Pepper!'

He stretched his head (his arms were holding the sandwich, you see) all the way into the kitchen. How he knew where it was, I'll never know. He grabbed the pepper shaker with his mouth and brought his head back into place. The only problem was that his head snapped back into place so quickly that it went a little too far in the other direction, and it gave him whiplash. The force was so great that the pepper shaker went flying out of his mouth.

And directly into the Sneaky Hermit's face. You can probably see where this is going.

'GAH!' She exclaimed. 'Watch where you're flinging stuff, pinhead. And if you seriously think that I'm going to be stopped by some measly pepper, you… uh oh.'

While the pepper was doing its work on her, the Elastic Waistband just bit into his sandwich without a care in the world.

'Ah… ahh… ahhh…'

'Are you gonna eat that pepper?'

'AHH… AHHH…!'

'Is that a no?'

'AAAHHHH-CHOOOOOOOO!'

The Sneaky Hermit went flying across the room, as all the stolen objects on her back fell directly back into place like they had never been stolen to begin with.

'... So, that is a no?'

By some delightful coincidence, the Sneaky Hermit ended up landed right in her cage. Her powerful sneeze left her stunned on impact, giving the Elastic Waistband plenty of time (a good minute or two) to remember what he was supposed to be doing. While he continued to eat his sandwich, he stretched one of his feet across the room and hit the button that controlled the cage's door.

'Really?' The Sneaky Hermit remarked. 'You have got to be kidding me. Ugh, I hope I paid my health insurance…'

'Thanks for the sandwich!' The Elastic Waistband said.

'As if the rest of E.V.I.L. weren't already making fun of me enough. First the pepper weakness, then that movie, and now being defeated by a knucklehead.' She sighed. 'Well, at least I still have a bigger reputation than the Kelp Thing. He never recovered from that 'movie'.'

Miss Appear chose to navigate the Mermalair totally invisible. After all, why not? As long as she stayed quiet, it was virtually impossible to detect her. Unless one paid attention to the subtle footprints she was leaving, but hardly any supervillain addicted to causing trouble would notice. It made it quite difficult for Captain Magma, who was attempting to follow her because there was no way he was doing this by himself.

'OOF!' He exclaimed, tripping over her legs and falling on his face again. 'Okay, do you have to stay invisible the whole time?'

'I hafta!' Miss Appear said. 'That way, I can sneak up on any bad guys with ease.'

'Cos it worked out so well for you the first time.'

'Hey, there aren't any cars or precarious cliffs this time. I'll be fine.'

Captain Magma muttered some less than pleasant things to himself, mostly talking about how he was going to set her on fire if this kept going. The urge only rose when she placed her hand on his chest.

'What now?' He asked.

'Look.' Miss Appear said, quietly. 'Over there.'

They peered around a corner, and found not one but three supervillains. One of them, the Atomic Flounder, was still locked up in his icy prison. He was surrounded by Moth, who zipped around the controls to find the one that thawed out the containment field. The other, another villainess, slithered across the floor in an attempt to follow him.

'Come on, Sinister Slug.' Moth said, doing an impressive evil snicker. 'Help me out here.'

The evil slug groaned. 'I thought I told you, Sinister Slug is my stage name. You're supposed to call me Notodoris now!'

'Aw, are you still mad about getting kicked out of your whittle weading club?'

'Don't make me spit on you!'

Captain Magma narrowed his eyes. 'That was your own fault cos you kept puking your slime on all the books.'

Though he couldn't see it, Miss Appear shot him the mother of all confused looks. 'How tha heck do ya know that?'

'Sa- Miss Appear, when you're forced to put up with SpongeBob and Patrick's games for as long as I have, you're gonna learn things you didn't care to learn.'

Moth zipped around all the controls in the room with so much speed that he was sure to find the right button eventually, and there was no way Miss Appear was going to allow that. Without even Captain Magma knowing about it, she waltzed into the room nice and casually. Making sure that she didn't knock anything over, of course. She didn't know much about these villains, but she knew a thing or two about moths.

She turned on a light, on the other side of the room. In the rather dark room, the light stood out.

'OOH, LIGHT!' Moth yelled, almost dropping his Joker impression.

'MOTH!' Notodoris shouted. 'What are you-?!'

'Forget about the Atomic Flounder! This light is far more important.'

Moth stared at this light, about ready to rip it out of the wall and return to his lair, only to feel something grabbing hold of him. Whatever it was, he could barely even move in this powerful grasp.

'What the-?!'

'Don't even try ta fight back.' Miss Appear whispered. 'Y'all are dealin' with tha strongest person in Bikini Bottom.' (Okay, so Mr Krabs was slightly stronger than her. Moth didn't need to know that.)

Captain Magma had to admit: he was rather impressed. After the last time they tried it, it was kind of amazing to see Miss Appear use her powers correctly. The impression dropped quickly, however, when he noticed that Notodoris was staring in her direction. Of course, there was no way for the slug to see her. But if she was smart at all…

'MISS APPEAR!' He cried.

Miss Appear turned around, just in time to see Notodoris spit up and fire a massive (and gross) chunk of her spit. The sticky glob missed the invisible squirrel and splattered on the wall, whereupon it quickly hardened. Captain Magma was looking pretty proud of himself, until he noticed that Notodoris was glaring at him.

'Hey!' She yelled. 'You ruined my fun!'

'You think you're so brave.' Captain Magma said. 'Well, you're not the only one who can spit projectiles. KRAKATOA!'

He fired a great big glob of lava from his head, aimed at Notodoris with a shocking amount of accuracy. She twisted herself around and dodged the attack with ease. For the most part. Just as she was smirking at the octopus, the lava splashed and a handful landed on her tail.

'ARGH!' She screamed. 'Fire-fire-fire!'

'Oh, there's more where that came from.' Captain Magma said, smirking too. 'KRATA-!'

'Do you have to yell that out every time?'

'Yes. KRAKATOA!'

He continued to spew out heaps of lava at her, and she was forced to back away as quickly as possible to avoid even more burns. Which, as you might expect, led her directly back to her cage. Captain Magma pressed the lock, but just as the bars were about to close, Notodoris spewed out another glob of spit, and this time she nailed her target.

'EUGH!' Captain Magma exclaimed as he fell to the floor. 'This has got to be the most disgusting attack I have ever seen.'

Notodoris grinned. 'My speciality!'

The slimy saliva quickly hardened, locking Captain Magma in place. Notodoris's satisfaction came to a swift end, however, for Miss Appear quickly put Moth back in his lighthouse-shaped jail and ripped right through that hardened spit.

It made the sinister slug frown. 'Well, that satisfaction didn't last long…'

'Well…' Captain Magma said. 'I think we sorted this out just fine.'

'See!' Miss Appear said, becoming visible again. 'I told ya I could do a better job tha next time.'

'I always doubted you. Sometimes, I like being wrong.'

'WHAT IS THIS GAME?! IT'S IMPOSSIBLE!'

The Quickster wasn't having nearly as good of a time as his friends. Despite working together with Man Ray and Dirty Bubble in a team effort, they just couldn't deal with this impossible puzzle and all of its crazy set pieces. The superfast sea sponge watched the giant marble fall into the void for the fiftieth time before he simply snapped.

'Do you understand what we were going through?!' Man Ray cried.

'I'd rather be in jail than do this.' Dirty Bubble said. 'And I mean that! If you don't mind me, I'll be returning to my big bubble bottle now.'

'Don't you dare! You've started this, and you're gonna help us finish this!'

The Quickster hit the button again and tried another attempt. This time, he spun the track, rolled a bubble into the rock, timed the second scooper correctly, stepped on the pressure plate to raise a small bridge, hit a button to move the hammer out of the way, and even dealt with the stupid balancing act… only to miss every bubble shot through the windmill, sending the marble to the void again.

'GAAAAAAAAAH!' He screamed. 'WHAT KIND OF DIABOLICAL MIND WOULD CREATE SUCH A DIFFICULT AND GRUELLING PUZZLE?!'

He got his answer quickly, and - despite what you may be thinking - it wasn't Heavy Iron Studios. A laughing prawn with a massive gramophone-shaped jetpack emerged from the void.

'IT WAS ME!' Prawn declared. 'Impressive, isn't it? I enjoy watching my enemies writhe in agony, and I believe zis little marble game did zee job nicely.'

The Quickster gasped. 'I should've known. You're infamous for your small but incredibly evil schemes! No one else could've rigged up such a cruel game!'

'About time you figured it out, is it not? Now, if you want any hope of defeating me, you must first defeat zis puzzle.'

Evidently, Man Ray wasn't having any of it, because he aimed his phaser right at him. Prawn dodged the shot with ease, and snickered as he initiated an attack of his own; his gramophone thing fired out a small but powerful sonic boom. It smacked into Man Ray and sent him flying backwards.

'Ouch…' He muttered. 'What are you doing, Prawn?! I thought we were on the same side!'

'You and me? Absolutely not!' Prawn said. 'You zink zat I would lower myself to your level? Your villainy is nothing compared to mine. And I only want zee best to be on my side. Alas, zat leaves only me!'

'So no one needs me here, right?' Dirty Bubble asked. 'I can just return to my bottle? … Alright? Alright. See you later, Cleanbags!'

The Quickster narrowed his eyes at the villainous shrimp, like something you'd see in an action or western film. Before him was a villain who was rarely seen for a very good reason, for Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy could simply not risk letting him loose. And this confounded marble game… Neptune knows how many more people who would be tortured by it!

'We'll see about that, Prawn!' He yelled. 'I'll beat your stupid marble game.'

Prawn simply laughed. 'And how do you plan to do zat, you cubic mould?'

'CELLULAR DIFFERENCE! To answer your question, I don't quite know. But I'll try it again and again as many times as I have to!'

Man Ray gasped. 'Quickster, no! You don't realise what you're getting yourself into. No one could possibly beat that game!'

'Not with your skill level anyway.' Dirty Bubble remarked.

The Quickster took a deep breath. 'That may be true. But I have to give it a try.'

He battled against the cursed puzzle to the tune of Prawn's evil laughter. The villain didn't even pay that much attention to the game (not that he really could, seeing how fast the Quickster could move). But the sea sponge was trying his hardest. And, well, he might have used his super speed to his advantage, but this narrator will never say if he did. (He totally did)

Turned the rails around. Smacked the weighted scooper. Stood on a pressure plate and Bubble Bowl-ed a button. Ran around the arena to stand on another pressure plate. Destroyed a Fodder and a G-Love that were in the way. Balanced the marble correctly over that stupid balancing beam with the massive holes.

The marble fell into a plastic cylinder. Now, time was of the essence. If the Quickster took too long, then it would plummet into the cavern below and would never be seen again. The windmill began to spin, and its blades periodically covered up the one last button that he needed to press. With his razor sharp reflexes, he watched the windmill very carefully, waiting for the right opportunity…

There it was! He created another bowling ball with his bubble wand and sent it rolling down the platform like a lane in a bowling alley. For a few seconds, he was almost overwhelmed by his own panic. Until-

*CLICK*

The marble flew through the air and landed on its target. A happy fanfare played through a terrible speaker as the glass container lifted up, freeing the grand prize at last. By this point, the Quickster was so exhausted after that terrible game that he didn't even have it in him to celebrate. He simply fell to his knees and breathed a sigh of relief.

Prawn's evil laughter came to a swift stop. 'W-What?!'

'YES!' Man Ray cried. 'Maybe you Justice League people aren't so bad. Now lemme have that prize!'

'Oh, it's all yours.' Dirty Bubble said, from inside his bubble container. 'I don't have much use for it.'

Man Ray picked up the gun with all the giggling joy of a kid in a candy store. It had a similar look to many of the weapons designed by the Atlantians, who were well known for their impressive technology. He aimed it at the wall (because the Quickster helped him and didn't deserve getting shot at), and fired a shot. Imagine his surprise when the wall was hit with a great big glob of ice-cream.

That's how you know it was Atlantian technology.

'Wait a moment…' He said. 'It shoots ICE-CREAM?! … That is wonderfully diabolical! … Ooh, it even has a setting to change the flavour.'

Dirty Bubbles stuck his head out. 'Wait, does it have a dirt-flavour?'

'Let's see… strawberry, mint, fish sticks, comb… DIRT!'

'Oh, I gotta have some!'

While Man Ray and Dirty Bubble were quite happy with their little prize, Prawn was not so happy to see that his nefarious scheme had been shut down. All by a square-shaped piece of mould, no less. He glared at the Quickster with as much hatred as he could contain in his little body.

'You!' He yelled. 'I don't know how you managed to beat my puzzle, so I can only assume zat you were cheating. I'll have you know zat I'm the only cheater around here. I have no choice but to slow you down!'

He fired another powerful sonic boom from his gramophone, followed soon by a continuous trail of much smaller but still dangerous ones. The Quickster dodged the first boom with ease, but hadn't quite anticipated the stream that followed.

'OW!'

The fifth sonic boom hit its target, and sent him flying across the room. He slammed into the wall, his impact fortunately softened by his own body. Prawn's evil laughing filled his ears and messed with his already-dizzy brain.

'I should've known a mere mould - oh, sorry, sponge - would've had no chances to beat me.'

'But y'all don't have a chance ta beat me!'

The Quickster's eyes went wide open. A certain squirrel rematerialised right in front of him.

'Miss Appear?!' Prawn exclaimed. 'I zought zee other super villains were distracting you.'

'Oh, they were.' Miss Appear said. 'But we're done with them now. And I'm not gonna let ya hurt ma spongy friend.'

The shrimp scoffed. 'If you expect to beat me zat easily with just zee two of you, you surely jest. Oh well. At least it makes it more fun for me.'

He charged up another stream of sonic booms, intent on banishing this squirrel all the way back to Texas. And, to everyone's shock, she didn't move an inch or even turn invisible again.

'Sandy!' The Quickster cried, breaking character. 'What are you doing?'

'Protectin' you!' Was the reply. 'You're ma friend, and as a member of the IJLSA I've got ta keep all ma friends safe.'

The Quickster had to close his eyes, unable to bear even the thought of seeing her hurt. Miss Appear, meanwhile, stood in place and prayed to Neptune that her plan worked out as planned.

'KRAKATOA!'

She grinned.

'What zah-?!

A glob of lava flew through the air and just barely missed its target. Captain Magma had aimed for Prawn himself, but hit his jetpack instead. Which, frankly, was a very good second. The gramophone-like device couldn't handle the heat, and began to spark and melt almost immediately.

'No… NOOOO!' Prawn yelled. 'My beautiful gramophone!'

The jetpack ceased to function in seconds, and Prawn plummeted to the floor. He should've thanked his lucky shells that he hadn't fallen deep into the cavern's abyss instead. The gramophone was much heavier than Prawn himself, so he found himself crushed beneath it. He didn't have much time to recover, for he found himself in the tight grasp of an invisible fist.

When Miss Appear reappeared in front of his face, he could only give out a sigh of resignation.

'Well, that was easy.' She said. 'What do ya have ta say fer yourself? This marble game looks like tha most evil thing I've ever seen!'

'If you are going to lock me away,' Prawn said with a grin. 'I can at least take zee satisfaction that I have subjected your speedy friend to zee worst experience of his life.'

'Alright, that's enough. Elastic Waistband, it's yer turn!'

A green-clad arm stretched into the room and wrapped around Prawn so tightly that he could barely move and couldn't even see. By the time he could see again, he found himself in the Villain Containment System, all ready to go.

'Wait, no!' He yelled. 'Zis is not fair!'

The Elastic Waistband stood by the controls, and tossed him into the unit. The simple hit of a switch was enough to turn it back on again, and an icy pillar quickly formed around the villain.

'I GOT A FROZEN WEDGIE FOR ZIS!' He shouted, just before the ice covered his mouth. 'Is zis zee end of Prawn?'

That was all the fiend could say before the containment system was fully operational, locking him up inside a gigantic block of ice that bared all his movements. Some may call it harsh, but those people have never had to play his cruel marble game. I shudder just thinking about it. Brrr…

'WE DID IT!' The Elastic Waistband exclaimed, throwing his arms up so high that they smacked into the ceiling. 'At least, I think we did.'

'Good job, International Justice League of Super Acquaintences!' The Chief's room called throughout the whole lair. 'You've brought every escaped super villain to justice, and now it's time to return and claim your reward: PIZZA.'

Our heroic quartet returned to the meeting room, enjoying their three wonderful pizzas: one cheese, one with pepperoni and mushrooms, and one with olives. Better yet, they arrived late so they got them for free, and Captain Magma could easily heat them up to an acceptable temperature. Even better, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy had returned from their appointments.

'I gotta say, Sponge Kid,' Barnacle Boy said, finishing off a slice of pizza. 'I'm impressed. You guys really did it.'

'We all did it!' The Quickster said. 'I wouldn't have been able to do it without them.'

'But you managed to pass Prawn's eeevil marble game!' Mermaid Man said. 'We wouldn't have been able to do that.'

The sponge's eyes sparkled. 'Do you really mean that?'

'That's just because our old bones wouldn't have been able to keep up with that hectic game.' Barnacle Boy said. 'But yes, we mean it.'

Part of SpongeBob - not the Quickster - felt a twinge of shame, for letting Prawn hit him with such a simple attack that he should've avoided with ease. For needing his friends to save him, instead of the other way around. But knowing that he was the only one to solve that torturous puzzle was enough to make him feel proud.

'I gotta say,' Captain Magma said, leaning back in his chair. 'I think we're pretty good at this superhero stuff after all. We just needed a bit of training.'

'And pizza!' The Elastic Waistband said, seemingly using his power to make his stomach (or at least his mouth) bigger.

'And with the power of PIZZA - I mean, JUSTICE - we have vanquished eeeviiil once again!' Mermaid Man said.

'And it was so much fun!' Miss Appear said. 'If ya ever want a hand at dealin' with bad guys, ya know who to call.'

'The Ghostcatchers?'

Barnacle Boy chose not to respond to that remark. 'Alright, we've had our fun. But these costumes are under our copyright, and we can't afford for them to get dirty. Now that we're done with this, we're gonna need those costumes back before you leave.'

Our heroes were rather disappointed to give up their awesome superpowers so quickly; even Squidward found himself missing the ability to throw lava everywhere. But after SpongeBob used his super speed one last time to throw out the trash, the four costumes were put up exactly where they were meant to be.

'Hey!' Barnacle Boy yelled. 'Patrick, is this a pizza stain on your costume?'

'Uh… no.'

They were just about ready to say their goodbyes and think about where to go next, when the TV suddenly turned back on without reason. They expected to see the Chief, but all they received was a single wiggly line tinted red.

'SO!' A mysterious and distorted voice shouted. 'You really think that you can stop my plans? This is just stage one.'

There wasn't much for the superhero team to do but sit their butts back on their chairs.

'Who are you!' SpongeBob demanded. 'And what is your diabolical plan?'

Mermaid Man leaned over to Barnacle Boy and whispered, 'I don't remember this villain… is this Control-Alt-Deleter?'

Barnacle Boy shook his head. 'Definitely not. She isn't nearly this subtle.'

'I must admit,' The distorted voice continued. 'You have thwarted this plan. I was intending to release those supervillains to cause a little more chaos in the city, and make it easy for me to enact my own plans.' They sighed. 'Shame those villains wanted to do nothing more than destroy your lair. Perhaps they would've gone after the town afterwards, but you didn't give them the time.'

SpongeBob gasped. 'Wait a moment! If those robots were the ones who unleashed those villains in the first place, then that means that… YOU'RE the one who's unleashed those nasty robots onto our town!'

The voice scoffed. 'Took you long enough to figure that out. You and your silly little 'wish' provided me with the perfect cover, but I see no need to hide the secret now that you know.'

The sea sponge stared at the red line, hardly even looking at it. His mind was too busy racing with the revelation that, indeed, it wasn't his own stupid wish that had caused this mess. The thought made him smile: so he hadn't ruined everything after all!

'Okay, now we know you did this.' Squidward said. 'Except there's one problem… we don't even know who you are! As far as we're aware, you're just a line on a screen.'

'And perhaps that's all I really am. Or maybe there's more to me than you realise. Either way, I'll ensure that you won't be finding out. That would be problematic to my plan, wouldn't it?'

Mermaid Man slammed his hand on the table. 'What is your diabolical plan, evil computer screen?!'

'You'll find that out soon enough. If all goes well, you'll find out when I'm all finished up. By then, you'll have no hope of stopping me. But I'm not going to get overconfident just yet. Overconfidence has led to the end of so many wonderful evil plans. I'm taking my sweet time. In fact, I have something cooking right now.'

The screen cut away from the line to a live recording of the industrial park, the very place that SpongeBob had some brief but very ugly memories with. Most of the machinery there had stopped working, and the camera angle only allowed them to see a giant shadowy figure swimming around in toxic waste. The only sound they could hear was that of metal being chewed.

'This creation of mine is chomping through the industrial park as we speak. If you allow him to consume everything, he may very well grow much stronger than you can handle. Will…? … What was that? … What do you mean, he isn't finished yet?! … You haven't worked out the kinks in his dialogue yet? I don't care! … Will you allow him to do so?'

'No!' SpongeBob cried. 'I don't know what kind of scheme you've got going on here, but I can't let you do it. Everyone, to the Industrial Park!'

'Have fun, SpongeBob. This oughta be fun to watch.'

Squidward sighed. 'We just can't catch a break, can we?'

The heroic quartet said their goodbyes to the semi-retired superheroes and ran for the industrial park, hopefully to take out the threat and not be taken out themselves. All four were blissfully unaware of the computer behind the curtains, if you will, watching over their every move with glee.

'Aw…!' Mermaid Man said. 'We could've given them a ride in the Invisible Boatmobile.'

Barnacle Boy rolled his eyes. 'Uh huh. And where is the Invisible Boatmobile?'

'It's right next to the… oh.'

'I told you we never should've made it invisible!'

'So, how do we get out of here?'

'Well, Squidward, that depends. Do you want the booby-trapped exit, or the non-booby-trapped exit?'

'Non-booby-trapped, please.'

'Then go that-away!'

'AAAAAAHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAH! AAHHH AAAHH AAHHH! AAAAAAAHHHHHH!'

'... Hm, or maybe it was that way.'

Author Notes - While it was hilarious watching the IJLSA defeating themselves, I thought it was a bit of a waste all things considered. You made them superheroes, but don't allow them to kick butt? So I decided to give them the chance to do so. The idea of Prawn being the one behind the marble game was a bit of a 'spur-in-the-moment' deal, but I love it. I think anyone who's played the game knows about the horrors of the Ball Room. It just seemed appropriate for the EVIIIIL fiend to be the one behind such an EEEVVVVIIIILLLL puzzle.

If you're wondering why the Sneaky Hermit, from 'Lights Camera Pants', was female, the character actually has no official gender. Pronouns are avoided throughout the entire movie, probably because Sandy can play the character. And, if you look at the wedding photo, the Hermit is actually the bride if played by SpongeBob, Patrick or Sandy. Why Patrick, I have no idea. So even though everyone (including the SpongeBob wiki) refers to the character as male, they actually have no official gender at all.

Long enough author notes, I know, but what is the deal with Notodoris anyway? She appears in 'Captain Pipsqueak' as a (unnamed outside of the credits) member of E.V.I.L.. She's a slug, so I assume she's meant to be related to the Sinister Slug in some way, but it's never really explained. Now, the Sinister Slug's gender was never actually stated, so, I mean... I dunno.