Love the reviews. Almost every one of them seemed to be saying, "Legolas is so stupid!" Thanks, mates.

Complimenting Gone Wrong

"Look at me, ada, look at me!" Legolas waved his arms around as he stood on a branch. "I can stay up here with no hands!"

            Thranduil looked up from his book, his content expression morphing into one of alarm.

            "Legolas! What are you doing up there? That tree is much too high and you are much too young!"

            Legolas quickly grabbed onto the trunk and lowered himself down the branches.

            "Ignorant boy," cursed Thranduil under his breath.

            Legolas was almost halfway down when an eagle suddenly flew by and grasped him in its talons.

            Legolas screamed.

It soared high into the air and Legolas watched as his father's upset figure got smaller and his cries of "where are you going son?" got softer.

            "Where are you taking me?" Legolas demanded. When the eagle did not reply, Legolas started weeping.

            The eagle let out a sharp screech and let go of the elfling. Legolas wept harder as he fell, and landed in a nest. An incredibly ugly elf peered down at him.

            Legolas screamed again.

            "Stop it!" shouted the eagle.

            Legolas screamed harder.

            "Stop it, STOP IT LEGOLAS!" The eagle started hitting him with a stick.

            "Ow!" cried Legolas, bringing his arms up to block the blows

            "Legolas! LEGOLAS, STOP IT! WAKE UP!"

            Legolas woke up. He sat up and looked around. He was in his bed, in his room, in the palace. He was HOME. There were two elves by his bed.

            "Eh," said one of them, "He's still alive."

            "Ai!" screamed Legolas. It was the really ugly elf! He quickly covered his mouth.

            The elf scowled and left. The other elf smiled at him. "How are you feeling?" she asked kindly.

            But Legolas only heard violins.

            "You're…you're beautiful!" he said.

            The elf looked at her lap. "Why, thank you Legolas," she said.

            Legolas frowned. "You remind me of someone, someone I used to love…"

            The elf looked back up at him, her smile fading a bit.

            "You…you look like Flipper!" he exclaimed at last.

            "Flipper?" asked the she-elf, curious, "What sort of name is Flipper?"

            "Oh, I named him!" said Legolas proudly.

            "Him?"

            "Yeah, he's a spider. A great big hairy spider!" Legolas sat back to better admire her resemblance. He watched as her face started to contort.

            Then, in a flash, she was gone, and Legolas clutched at his stinging cheek. "Honestly," he muttered, "Give them a compliment and they storm off. Women."

Wait, pressing the arrow button leads to a new chapter and, inevitably, a pop up ad. Typing will do you no good whatsoever. I was wrong.