Chapter III - Back to the Start

Disclaimer: The song is 'The Scientist' by Coldplay. I was listening to it and this scene just popped into my head.

AN: There's little speech that Faith gives Angel and Spike that is similar to the one Andrew gave them on the show.

Faith walked through Roman streets, her hands buried in the pockets of her leather jacket. It had become a bit chilly out but she hadn't notice. Nor had she noticed the people walking past her or even paid attention to where she was going. Faith had only one thing on her mind...Buffy. Walking through the park, her thoughts kept drifting towards the blonde slayer. Stopping just outside the gates, she looked up. Right across the street was Buffy's apartment building, she found that out when Angel and Spike told her on the way to Wolfram and Hart. She looked into the older slayer's window and saw that it was dark which meant that the other slayer wasn't home or she was asleep. She stood there for a few minutes, just staring at the window.

Then with one last lingering look she whispered, "Goodbye Buffy. I love you" Sending her message with all the energy and love she had. She then turned and left.

Come up to meet you...Tell you I'm sorry...You don't know how lovely you are...I had to find you...Tell you I need you...Tell you I set you apart...

Inside of the apartment, Buffy awoke suddenly. She wondered what could have awoken he from her peaceful slumber. She then sensed something. It felt familiar but she couldn't place her finger on it. She carefully maneuvered herself away from the warm body next to her and walked to the window.

What she saw made her heart leap. Faith? Her sister slayer was standing across the street looking right at her...but not really looking at her. Like Faith didn't know she was there. What was Faith doing here and how had she found her? Questions were piling up in her mind as she watched Faith staring into her window with a sad expression. Then Buffy saw Faith's lips move. Even with her slayer hearing she couldn't hear what the younger girl was saying. But she felt it. A surge of energy spread across her body and into her very soul. She gasped as a mixture of emotions went through her. Pain, sadness, regret, and resignation, but the most dominant was love. Love for her. It was so pure and beautiful that a tear slipped down her cheek. When she looked back out the window she found that Faith was gone. She suddenly felt panicked and quickly got dressed and rushed out of her apartment. She had to find Faith.

Tell me your secrets...And ask me your questions...Oh let's go back to the in in tails...Heads on the science apart... Nobody said it was easy...It's such a shame for us to part...Nobody said it was easy...No one ever said it would be this hard...Oh, take me back to the start...

Faith walked down the street, heading towards the direction of the train station. Seeing Buffy again had made all her old emotions for the blonde resurface. When she learned that Buffy had a new stud, she knew that she was too late...again. She had been too late when Angel returned when she first arrived in Sunnydale, too late when she came out of her coma and saw Beefsti...er Riley, even the last time she saw the blonde she was too late because there was Spike. And now another guy had come along. She was always too late. Faith had accepted along time ago that her and Buffy would never be together. She didn't even think she was good enough for the blonde slayer's love.

Faith decided that she should leave, go somewhere that guaranteed no other run ins with the blonde slayer. She wanted Buffy happy, and if this other guy made her happy, who was she to stand in the way. She just wished...Faith shook her head. She didn't want her thoughts to go there. She needed to leave. She couldn't keep pining for Buffy. She needed to move on.

Faith stopped and pulled out a wrinkled envelope from her jacket. She poured her heart onto that piece of paper, confessing her love for the other slayer and explanations of certain events that happened when they were together. She wrote it sometime after her last encounter with Buffy and had planned to give it to her. Faith stared at it for a while then crumpled it up and threw it at a nearby trashcan as she continued towards he destination. It bounced off the trashcan, landing in front of a pair of tennis shoes.

I was just guessing...Numbers and figures...Pulling the puzzles apart...Questions of science...Science and progress...Do not speak as loud as my heart...

Buffy picked up the wad of paper and tried to smooth it out. It was an envelope. She smiled slightly when she saw the letter 'B' scrawled on the front. Only Faith ever called her 'B'. She opened it up and scanned the paper. It was dated the day they all left Sunnydale for good. Buffy wondered why Faith hadn't given her this letter and why the other slayer had kept it for so long. She began to read:

Dear B...I mean, Buffy,

Sorry, I know how much you hate it when I call you, B. That was some wicked cool ass kicking you did back there with Caleb and the First.

Anyway, I'm not good with sharing stuff especially my emotions. I wrote this letter to tell you something. Mostly that I'm sorry and I know that you have forgiven me but I wanted to explain why I did what I did. You probably wouldn't believe this but...I'm in love you, Buffy. Always have been. That's the reason why I did all that crazy shit.

All I wanted was for you to notice me, to acknowledge that I was there. But you were always too busy with some new stud to ever notice. Why did you think I tried to off Angel? He was in the way. I felt alone in my little motel room. Funny huh? Big bad Faith waiting around for you to come by. But you never came Buffy, only if you needed some extra slayer power to fight a big bad.

Did you know that the most happiest times in my life were with you? Slaying, dancing at the Bronze. Then it all went to hell after Finch. Then the mayor. God, Buffy didn't mean for it to that far. It was suppose to be an undercover deal, so I could give you the inside scoop. But the Mayor, he was so nice to me. Treated me like a daughter, made me feel like I was needed, that I mattered.

Everything else that happened...I was just so angry. At you for not loving me, at everyone who got your attention, but I was mostly angry at myself. I couldn't deal. I tried, but I always end up fucking things up.

I hope after you read this, you have a little understanding of what went on back then. Everyone's coming back into the bus after our little rest stop. I gotta go.

Love,

Faith

P.S. I know that you will never feel the same way towards me, but I just thought you should know.

Buffy put the letter back in it's envelope and placed it safely in her inner jacket pocket. She had no idea Faith felt that way towards her. She felt guilty neglecting the brunette slayer all those years ago. She had been confused about the feelings that she felt for Faith and she couldn't deal with it. She had so much going on in her life at the time. A look of determination crossed her features before she headed towards the direction Faith disappeared to.

Tell me you love back and haunt me...Oh and I rush to the start...

Faith turned a corner and bumped into someone, she was surprise to see it was Angel and Spike.

"Faith!" Angel exclaimed. "I thought you were gonna wait for us at Wolfram & Hart."

"I decided to take a walk, I hate waiting around." Faith then noticed what Angel was wearing. It was a sporty, red and white motorcycle jacket. Not something Angel would normally wear. "Nice jacket," Faith said amusedly.

"It's the latest style," Angel said dryly.

"Where are you heading off to then?" Spike questioned and nodded to the small duffel bag Faith was holding.

Faith just shrugged. "Oh, you know me, I go where my legs take me. And now they're itching to leave," she explained casually.

But Angel could see through the cool façade. He put a hand on her shoulder, a look of concern on his features. "Is this about Buffy?"

"Not everything is about Buffy Summers," Faith said sounding a little agitated. "I just needed a new scene." The vampires didn't look convinced. Faith sighed. "Guys, I'm trying to move on with my life. Seeing B again and knowing she's here will just make it harder on myself. I need to not be near her right now. I'm not going to waste my life pining over her again. You guys should do the same. Who knows, you might catch her one day. One of you, anyway. At least you both have a chance. All I have is hope. But you keep running in place, you're gonna find she's long gone."

Spike turned to Angel. "It is a bit silly. Us...chasin' around like a couple of henpecked teenagers," he said a little embarrassed.

"I'm sure Buffy loves both of you," Faith continued. "But she's gotta live her life. I've accepted that. And now I have to live mine." She looked at her watch and saw that she should leave soon. "Look, I gotta jet. My train leaves in an hour. It's been great seeing you guys. Maybe we'll bump into each other again someday."

Angel and Spike watched Faith walk off. They were thinking about what Faith said. She was right, they had to get on with their lives. The vampires decided to head back to L.A.

Running in circles...Chasing back as we are...

When Buffy rounded the corner she was surprised to see Faith...with Spike and Angel. She stepped back and peeked around the corner, not wanting to be seen by her ex-lovers. She listened in on the conversation. It seemed that Faith wasn't the only one who still had feelings for her. She found that slightly amusing, but the way Faith was talking to them, it was like the younger slayer was giving up. That's when Buffy realized, that Faith was leaving to get away from her. The other girl was giving up on her.

Faith was wrong, Buffy did have feelings for her, the blonde was just too deep in her denial to see it. The dark slayer stirred feelings deep inside her, and Buffy thought that Faith was the only one who could understand what being a slayer was all about. The Immortal was great in every aspect, but she did not love him. She was in love with Faith.

Looking up from her thoughts, Buffy saw that they had left. She cursed herself. Where could Faith have gone? Buffy suddenly remembered something she heard...train. Faith was heading towards the train station! Buffy ran towards the direction of the train station, determined to find the other slayer.

Nobody said it was easy...Oh it's such a shame for us to part...Nobody said it was easy...No one ever said it would be so hard...I'm going back to the start

Faith looked at her watch. Her train would be hear in a few minutes, and soon she could leave. Leave Rome...leave Buffy. When the train pulled up, she waited for the passengers to get off the train before grabbing her duffel and making her way towards the train.

As she was about to board, Faith stopped. She heard a familiar voice whisper her name. Turning around she was shocked to see Buffy, out of breath, staring at her. Faith's heart caught in her throat. Buffy was still the most beautiful woman she had ever laid eyes on. She thought her eyes were playing tricks on her. Was this a dream? Was Buffy Summers really standing in front of her?

They were both silent as they gazed into each other's eyes. Buffy moved closer, she could see a mixture of emotions in the dark slayer's eyes. Confusion, disbelief, awe. But she could clearly see the love in the girl's eyes. Buffy raised her hand and caressed Faith's cheek, a feeling of happiness spread through out her body when Faith leaned into her touch. She moved closer until there was only an inch between them, not breaking eye contact. She leaned up and placed her hand on the back of Faith's head, bringing the dark girl's head down as their lips meet. The kiss was slow and hesitant at first.

Faith dropped her duffel bag and wrapped her arms around the shorter girl and pulled her closer, deepening the kiss. Faith thought she'd died and gone to Heaven. Her heart was ready to burst with joy. She felt tears slide down her cheeks and didn't care.

When they finally pulled back from the kiss, they rested their foreheads against each other. Both feeling a little out of breath.

Buffy stroked Faith's hair causing Faith to open her eyes and they gazed at each other.

"I love you too, Faith."

The End

AN: I hope you liked it. I know it kinda ended abruptly, but I thought I didn't need to go any further. Feedback is appreciated.