3. Close
Stepping onto the bus the next morning, Charlie barely registered anything around him, he was so focused on his phone. His mum had reluctantly surrendered it over to him before he had left the house, assuring him she would be confiscating it again as soon as he came home from school.
Last night had been long without Nick to talk to. It had taken Charlie hours to get to sleep, but when he finally managed it, he slept like the dead. Dreamless and ineffective. When his alarm had woken him half an hour ago, it had felt as if he hadn't slept at all.
The second Charlie had gotten his hands on his phone again, he had sent Nick his usual 'good morning' text.
Leaving Nick on the front doorstep to walk home alone last night had possibly been one of the hardest things Charlie had ever had to do.
He had never seen his usually calm and collected boyfriend so utterly lost. Charlie was usually the one who needed a shoulder to cry on, the one who always needed a few extra words of reassurance.
Charlie wasn't sure why all this seemed to be affecting Nick more than him.
Maybe it was because Charlie was already used to dealing with trauma. He already had certain coping mechanisms in place, healthy or not, to help his brain deal with the world being the dark and dangerous place it was.
It would hit him soon.
Probably when he was least expecting it.
Charlie stifled a yawn in his elbow as he continued to tap away on his phone, earphones in, music loud enough to drown out the chatter of the bus passengers around him.
He hadn't been able to snag a window seat today. Tori had gotten a lift to school with Becky and so Charlie had been forced to sit awkwardly beside a stranger.
Thankfully, the girl beside him seemed too absorbed in scribbling down some last-minute homework to pay Charlie much attention.
The bus stopped at the next stop and Charlie glanced out the window. He ducked down quickly when he realised whose stop this was.
Matt stepped onto the bus. Usually, Matt would not hesitate to help Charlie's day get off to a miserable start by throwing insults and slurs in his general direction. But today, however, Matt seemed a little distracted.
Charlie was relieved but very surprised to see that Matt was accompanied by a girl.
He watched cautiously, trying not to catch the bully's eye. Matt led the Higgs girl by the hand, to the back of the bus. They both sat down in the same narrow seat and began making out - far too passionately for this time of the morning.
Poor girl, Charlie thought. It looked like he was eating her face.
The bus continued on its journey, and Charlie did his best to drown out the distant gross sounds coming from Matt and his girlfriend.
Was that what he and Nick sounded like when they were making out?
He hoped not. Jesus.
The bus stopped again and the doors hissed open. Several assorted Truham and Higgs students bustled down the aisle. Charlie glanced up as the doors clicked shut again.
The bus trundled on and Charlie froze.
He stared into the face of the man he had only ever seen once, but had hoped never to see again.
And the man stared back.
Charlie's heart was pounding loudly, a muffled ringing had filled his ears, and the hands clasped around his phone were trembling violently.
The sound of the man's boots seemed amplified as he made his way down the aisle.
Toward Charlie.
There was nothing he could do.
There was nowhere he could go.
Was this man really going to kill Charlie right here? On a crowded bus full of people?
Charlie swallowed hard. He was just about to start drafting his final text to Nick when -
The shooter's gaze shifted past Charlie, toward the back of the bus, and he sat down casually in the remaining empty seat.
Charlie sat there, stunned, every muscle in his body tense. The horrible buzzing in the back of his head blanked out any clear thoughts.
The girl beside him shot a glare at Charlie's shaking hands, but Charlie hardly noticed her.
The second the bus arrived at the next stop, and the doors opened, Charlie sprinted toward them, leapt off the bus and ran.
Despite the torrent of friends trying to talk to him, for the five minutes since Nick arrived at school, he had not felt exactly present. Usually, he would be willing to at least passively listen, to occasionally comment, but, this morning, everything seemed even more trivial than usual.
Who cared if Otis had gotten detention three days in a row? Who cared if Harry had been rejected by yet another girl from Higgs? Who cared, really, if Truham lost their upcoming rugby match?
The presence of the now yellowing bruise on Harry's eyebrow did cheer Nick up a little, however. He couldn't help the proud, satisfied smirk that flickered in the corner of his mouth at the reminder that Charlie had done that. His Charlie.
But then the giddiness drained away as quickly as it had come, when Nick remembered what he, Nick, had done.
He doubted somehow that Charlie was as proud of Nick for murdering a man as Nick was of Charlie merely punching Harry Greene.
The nausea rose in Nick's stomach. He attempted to swallow it down as he stared at his phone.
He would have killed us. He would have killed us. He would have killed us.
He would have killed Charlie.
From where he was perched on the edge of the picnic bench, Nick had been watching the three little dots under Charlie's name fluctuate, but they had disappeared several minutes ago.
Charlie was fine, Nick told himself. He had probably just gotten distracted talking to Tori or something…
Nick was just about to give into the urge to quadruple text him, when the sound of hurried footsteps made him look up.
Charlie had appeared around the school gates and was sprinting toward him.
Nick grinned subconsciously, despite his current company, but then, Charlie met his eyes across the front yard. What Nick saw there made his immediate joy turn to a deep, sickening worry.
Something was very wrong.
Nick got to his feet and closed the remaining distance between them. Charlie came to a sudden halt in front of him, hands on his knees as he gasped for breath. He was white as a sheet and trembling, as if he had just ran for his life.
"Nick -" he gasped. "I just - it was - I -"
"Hey, hey… Breathe, Charlie, breathe. What happened?"
Charlie opened his mouth to reply but nothing came out except a ragged puff of breath.
Somewhere on a distant planet, the school bell rang.
"Come on," said Nick. "Let's go somewhere quiet."
Without so much as a glance back at his friends, Nick grasped the cuff of Charlie's blazer and led him quickly, but calmly, over to a quiet patch of grass in the corner of the front yard. It wasn't the most private place but it was empty of students now that the first bell had rung, and teachers were shepherding stragglers toward their form rooms.
Nick tugged Charlie behind a tree, thinking the wide trunk would give them at least a little cover from any onlookers, and finally Nick felt comfortable enough to brush Charlie's sweaty curls out of his eyes.
Between the cool bark of the tree behind him and the steady hands resting lightly on his shoulders, Charlie felt infinitely safer. He looked up into his boyfriend's concerned eyes and realigned his most pressing news at the last second.
"You're not a murderer, Nick."
Nick looked down at his shoes. He couldn't stand anyone, especially Charlie, looking at him like that when he felt so disgusted with himself.
"It's alright," he breathed. "I know what I did. I know what I am now…"
"He's not dead, Nick."
"What? Of course -"
"I just saw him." Charlie swallowed. "On the bus."
Nick snapped his head back up. "Are - are you sure it was him?"
Charlie nodded grimly. "He looked right at me. Like - like he knew who I was. I - I was so scared. I just got off the bus as soon as I could and ran."
"Thank you." Nick pulled Charlie into a fierce hug. "Thank you for getting yourself out of that situation, Charlie. That must have been - God, I'm so sorry you had to go through that - alone."
Charlie sank into the warmth of his boyfriend's arms - arms that suddenly tensed around him -
"Wait a second." Nick lifted his head to peer into Charlie's eyes. "He saw you and you came here? He didn't follow you, did he?"
"Shit -" Charlie sprang away from Nick. He stepped back quickly and smacked his head into the trunk of the tree behind him. "Ow, fuck!"
"Oh, shit, are you okay?" Nick reached out to make sure but Charlie merely rubbed a hand over the back of his head absently, his panic building again. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said -"
"I shouldn't have come here," Charlie groaned. "What was I thinking? I'm such an idiot. He definitely knows what you look like - and I've led him straight to you -"
"Nicholas Nelson!"
They both froze. They whipped around to see Mr Barnes striding toward them across the now deserted front yard.
Shit, Charlie thought.
Walking briskly in the headmaster's wake was none other than Detective Helen Torrance.
Double shit.
"Good morning, boys," said Mr Barnes, pompous as usual. "I'm dreadfully sorry to interrupt what I can only assure was a very productive, and not at all deliberate attempt at truancy, but I'm afraid Officer Torrance here requires a quick word with you, Nicholas. Would my office be sufficient for your use, detective?"
"That would be very useful, thank you," said Officer Torrance. "If you'd like to follow me, then, Mr Nelson. I shall make this as quick as possible so you can get back to your highly valued education."
Nick's feet were suddenly routed to the spot. His face had drained of all colour.
"There's no need to look so worried, Nicholas. I only need you to answer a few questions."
"Which I'm sure he will be all but thrilled to do for you, detective," said Mr Barnes. "He's always been nothing but a credit to this school, an exemplary student…"
Nick zoned out Mr Barnes' attempts to hype him up in front of their visitor. He didn't have the energy nor the capacity to be embarrassed by the praise right now.
He and Charlie followed along at a distance, heads down, not daring to look at each other for fear of breaking their cover. Nick's heart was pounding, his palms were sweaty and he felt like he might throw up again.
A small hand wrapped around the cuff of his blazer. The simple gesture anchored him enough to at least make him stop feeling like he might float away.
"You had better head off to form now, Charlie," said Mr Barnes. They had stepped inside the school building now, neither boy having noticed. "I'm sure you'll have enough time to come up with a reasonable excuse for your lateness between here and there."
Charlie blinked up at the headmaster. He couldn't bring himself to leave Nick to face whatever was coming alone.
"Couldn't I please stay?" he managed, feigning innocence as much as possible. "While Nick is being questioned? For - for moral support?"
"I'm afraid that won't be possible," said the detective with a sympathetic smile.
"It's alright, Charlie," said Nick quietly. "I'll be okay. Besides, it's just a few questions, right? I'll see you in form."
Nick tried to pour as much reassurance into his final look at Charlie as possible. He felt the sudden absence of weight on his sleeve like a cut lifeline.
"Off you trot, Mr Spring," said Mr Barnes jovially.
Charlie scuttled away reluctantly and watched as Nick was led off in the other direction by the headmaster and the detective. The tension in Nick's shoulders as he walked away made it clear to Charlie what he needed to do.
Feeling a tiny bit like a spy, Charlie ducked around the corner of the corridor and peered around at the retreating figures making their way toward the headmaster's office.
He couldn't leave Nick alone in there with that detective.
What kind of questions did she have for him?
Had someone seen him that afternoon at the cabin?
Did they think he was responsible for one of the murders? Just like he and Charlie had up until this morning?
Charlie needed to listen to that conversation. He was prepared to burst in there and confess to anything under the sun if it meant Nick would be spared.
When Mr Barnes left the office and clicked the door shut behind him, the full extent of the amount of trouble Nick could possibly be in hit him at full force. But it also dawned on him just how incredibly relieved he was that Charlie had not in fact come with him.
Officer Torrance sat down in the headmaster's leather chair and leant across the mahogany desk to look intently at Nick, who sat anxiously across from her.
All the sympathy and kind smiles had gone from her face, instead replaced with an intense, very serious expression which honestly fit the whole murder investigation vibe better than the latter.
"I'm sure you are aware that I am currently investigating a triple homicide that occurred in your family's cabin on the afternoon of Wednesday 2nd June?"
Nick nodded carefully. "My mum told me about it."
"Good. Then you are aware of how serious this situation is, and how important it is for you to be truthful when you answer my questions?"
"Of course."
Nick tried to discreetly wipe his sweaty palms on his trousers.
"Could you please relay to me what you did and where you went on the afternoon of the 2nd of June?"
"Um…" Nick took a breath. But then he was surprised when his words came out a lot steadier than he felt. "Well, I was at school until half past three. I would have had rugby practice after but it was cancelled at the last minute because Mrs Singh had the flu. So, we went to the park instead and hung out on the swings for a while… for maybe about an hour… and then we walked home."
"And who is 'we'?"
"Me and Charlie."
"He's the boy you were with just now?"
Nick nodded, but his carefully faked nonchalance must have slipped for a moment because the detective said, "Don't worry. You aren't going to get your friend into trouble. I'm just trying to get a clear picture of the incident. Are you sure neither of you went near the cabin while you were at the park?"
"Yes," said Nick. "We just sat on the swings and chatted. Charlie was with me the entire time."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. I - I would have noticed if he had left."
"I'm not talking about Charlie, I'm talking about you."
The detective brought out a plastic evidence bag and slid it across the desk toward Nick. Inside it was a single piece of paper. Nick recognised it at once as his own geography homework. His name was scribbled across the top in blue fountain pen ink, beside the date from when he had completed it during Wednesday's morning break.
"Please explain to me how this piece of homework came to be trodden into the path outside the front door of your family's cabin if you did not personally go there that day?"
"Oh."
Fuck.
"I… um… I forgot I did go there… t-to the cabin - but only for a bit. Less than a minute, probably… I went to get us something to drink. Yes. We keep snacks and stuff in there, you know, for the weekends. That - that homework must have fallen out of my bag. I was wondering where it had gone to be honest…"
Nick managed a nervous laugh. He was distantly impressed with himself that he hadn't thrown up all over the headmaster's desk yet.
"And you went to the cabin alone? Charlie didn't accompany you?"
"No. No… I went alone. He waited for me at the swings."
"And you didn't dawdle on your way there or on the way back?"
"No," said Nick. "I walked straight there and back again."
"Did you see anyone else on your way?"
Nick frowned, honestly trying to remember this time.
"The play park was quite busy. It was just after school so there were a lot of children and parents about but I don't think I saw anyone in the woods or by the cabin. It's usually quiet around there though, even on the weekends."
"And you didn't see anything suspicious? Anything at all you think I should know?"
Nick dared himself to meet the detective's gaze. Even as the printed words from last night flashed across his subconscious.
'Keep your mouth shut. I know where you live. I still have two bullets left.'
"No," he said. "There's nothing."
The detective sighed. "Well, thank you for your time and candour, Nicholas. I apologise for the fright I must have given you. I'm afraid sometimes it can't be helped in my profession. Here is my card. Please do give me or one of my colleagues a call if you think of anything at all that could help us. I will let you go and enjoy the rest of your day in peace."
Nick got up and was at the door in an instant, almost free when -
"Don't forget your homework. I don't hand out punishments for lost homework but I know people in certain other professions do."
Officer Torrance was smiling kindly again. Nick returned it weakly, took his homework, muttered a quick "Thanks", and sped out of the room as quickly as he could.
Nick started off down the corridor at such a speed that when he rounded the corner, he walked right into -
"Charlie!" Nick reached out to steady the poor boy he had just almost knocked to the ground. "What are you doing lurking around the corridors?"
"I wasn't lurking." Charlie looked up at him through long dark eyelashes. "I was - I just wanted to make sure you were okay."
Nick allowed himself to be tugged into a nearby alcove between a wall and a vending machine.
"I couldn't face sitting in form worrying to death that you might be arrested. That I'd only ever be able to see you again from the other side of a screen and -"
Nick couldn't help but grin. "Hey, hey, don't worry. I'm not going to be arrested, Char."
"Well, I know that now," Charlie said, looking at his shoes.
"Wait," Nick blinked. "Were you eavesdropping?"
"Maybe…"
"Charlie! On a police officer? I'm pretty sure that's illegal."
"I just really didn't want you to go to prison."
Nick glanced quickly around at the empty corridor, then pressed a kiss to Charlie's brow.
"You are the cutest," he muttered softly. "Did you hear all of that, then?"
Charlie nodded, expression serious again. "I… I appreciate you emitting me from the story, Nick. You didn't have to do that… especially when you already had to lie about most of it…"
"Honestly, I was just saying the first thing that came into my mind," he admitted. "I guess my instinct was to keep your name as far away from it as possible."
Nick gave a big sigh and flopped his head onto Charlie's shoulder. "It was horrible, Char. I was so tense the entire time. I was so sure I was going to give myself away at any second, or that she could see right through me."
"You did so well, Nick. You were so brave. Even I believed everything you were saying." Charlie wrapped his arms around Nick and hugged him. "I wish we had spent the hour chatting on the swings."
"Me too."
Nick inhaled against Charlie's shoulder, and could have stayed there all day, recharging, if the bell had not chosen that moment to ring. Nick felt Charlie exhale with him before they drew reluctantly apart.
The distant rumble of the corridors filling with students grew more imminent by the second.
Once again, Nick wanted to kick himself for not just being able to let him and Charlie be open and happy. Nothing broke his heart more than the understanding Charlie always displayed in these situations.
"I'll see you at break, okay?"
"Not if I see you first."
Charlie smiled sadly, kissed his cheek and, with a final squeeze of his hand, turned and set off down the corridor toward his first lesson of the day.
Nick made his way in the opposite direction toward Friday morning English. He felt as though at least some of the pressure had been released from his overladen shoulders.
He was not a murderer.
And telling his story to Officer Torrance had somehow solidified his own innocence in his mind, even if most of it had been lies.
Since the arrival of the mysterious note, Nick had been starting to hope he had killed that man. Because if the man was dead then the note would have been much easier to ignore. It would have been easier to convince himself it had been nothing but some kind of cruel practical joke.
But now it was clear who had sent the note. Clear who had walked right up to his front door in the half an hour he had spent away from the house. While his mum was home alone.
The thought sent a shiver down Nick's spine as he was jolted through the mass of students crowding around the English block.
Nick wasn't entirely sure why he hadn't told Charlie about the note. They usually told each other everything. For all Nick knew, Charlie could have received a similar note and hadn't told him.
There was no reason only Nick should be threatened, especially if it was the shooter who had sent it.
But maybe there was a reason, he thought. Maybe the shooter somehow knew that Nick was the one who was going to be questioned today. Now he thought about it, it did seem like a bit of a coincidence that the letter arrived last night and not sooner…
Still, even if Nick had been the only one to receive a note, the threat had still been 'two bullets'. And, as he settled down at the back of his English class, he knew he was not the only one in danger if he didn't keep his mouth shut.
Charlie sat across from Tao and Aled at their usual picnic bench. He picked at his apple, ignoring the squashed sandwich and crisps he had discarded within minutes of sitting down and realising Nick wasn't there yet.
Once his frantic text had gone unanswered for almost ten minutes, Charlie gave up on the apple too.
Charlie glanced around at the field for the hundredth time, scanning the sea of identical uniforms anxiously.
Tao rolled his eyes and groaned. "Give it a rest, Charlie. You're making me nervous, too. I'm sure you can survive spending one lunch time apart…"
Charlie chewed his lip nervously. "I'd understand if he wanted to spend some time with his own friends for a change but… I wish he would just tell me that so I wasn't sitting here worrying about nothing like an idiot."
"Come off it," said Tao. "That boy is obsessed with you. There's no way he would stand you up without a valid reason."
"Besides," said Aled. "He isn't with his friends. Look, they're over there."
Charlie and Tao followed Aled's gaze toward the tennis courts. In the distance, Harry and several of the rugby lads were apparently trying to wrestle each other at the same time as eating their lunches.
"Maybe Nick can't text you back because he got held back in class or something," said Aled reasonably.
Charlie blinked at Aled in surprise. The boy didn't say much usually but when he did it was always some kind of profound wisdom that made the others remember why they valued and appreciated him beyond measure. Aled smiled simply at the gratitude on Charlie's face and went back to his pasta salad with a modest shrug.
Tao scoffed. He was still watching the rugby boys across the field in a state of confused disgust. Charlie looked around just as Will took a cheese and tomato sandwich to the face. The other boys all roared with laughter, including Will.
Charlie was surprised when Tao's face split into a grin too.
"Oh my God, is that another bruise on Harry's face?" Tao laughed. "Who punched him this time? I want to send them flowers."
"Hmm," said Charlie coyly, taking a tiny bite of his apple. "I think daisies are my favourite."
"What?"
Charlie looked up, blushing. Both Tao and Aled goggled back at him.
"You punched Harry?"
"When did this happen?"
"We're going to need details, Charlie!"
Charlie couldn't help but laugh at his friends' impressed delight. He told them about being cornered by Harry, Will and Matt yesterday - "And they were being really mean and gross as usual but then they started saying some… stuff about Nick and I dunno… I just snapped. I've never felt that angry before. Not ever. I didn't even think about what I was doing… until…"
As he had been telling his story, Charlie had been absent-mindedly watching the bullies in question from across the field. Replaying the altercation in his head had somehow clicked something in his brain. He watched Harry and Will fall into a heap of flailing limbs. He could feel the cogs turning in his head. For some reason, Nick's words from yesterday echoed again in Charlie's mind.
"Don't worry though, I don't think he saw your face. Only your arm and your side which is - comforting…"
Charlie remembered how he had been lying underneath that bed on the rickety old floorboards of the cabin, about what he had been clutching like a life raft as he tried desperately not to make a sound…
Tao and Aled's faces dropped suddenly as Charlie looked back around at them. He tried to hide his quickly growing panic.
"What's the matter?"
"Are you feeling ill? You've gone very pale."
"I will actually send you flowers if you want, Charlie."
Charlie shook his head frantically, trying to unlock his phone with a trembling hand.
"I'm fine," he mumbled as he hastily tapped on Nick's name.
CHARLIE (12:55): the shooter saw my school bag! he was after matt not me!
The whole of third period had been a never-ending headache for Nick. On a good day, trigonometric functions would not have been his idea of useful, but today Nick was determined to use anything he could to distract himself. He had put every inch of brain power he could muster into understanding what the hell SOHCAHTOA meant.
However, the rest of his GCSE Maths class had other ideas. They had not shut up all lesson. Which was why Nick found himself still sitting there ten minutes into lunch, both wanting to yell at Mr Vickers that collective punishment was a war crime, and itching to text Charlie an explanation for his involuntary abandonment.
It had taken everything in him to ignore each of the vibrations in his pocket. He hadn't wanted to give Mr Vickers any opportunity to hold him there even longer.
When finally, the man felt it appropriate to release them all from their prison, Nick was not surprised to find eight whole unanswered texts from Charlie.
CHARLIE (12:29): can't wait to see you xxxxx
CHARLIE (12:32): i'm at the bench x
CHARLIE (12:37): are you running late?
CHARLIE (12:42): miss you ? xx
CHARLIE (12:44): is your phone dead haha
CHARLIE (12:45): don't worry if you don't want to meet today i understand x
CHARLIE (12:46): enjoy your lunch ❤️❤️❤️
CHARLIE (12:55): the shooter saw my school bag! he was after matt not me!
NICK (13:02): Meet me at the tree from this morning!
Nick knew the front yard was almost always deserted during lunch time. Everyone preferred to hang out on the field or in the canteen. He managed to stop himself from sprinting all the way there. He didn't want to draw any more attention to himself than was necessary.
As soon as Charlie received Nick's text, he gave a half-hearted excuse to Tao and Aled and within minutes reached the tree. He leant against the trunk, trying to regulate his breathing, feeling a terrible sense of deja vu as he sorted through his racing thoughts.
And then Nick was there. And he looked exhausted.
"I'm so sorry I couldn't text you back, Charlie. Mr Vickers is such an arse. He made us all stay behind just because a few idiots wouldn't shut up all lesson."
Charlie ushered Nick to sit beside him against the tree. "It's okay. Sit down, you must be starving."
"Oh, right, I am actually." Nick pulled his lunch box out onto his lap. "I wasn't really paying attention to be honest. I was more worried about missing out on time with you."
Nick ruffled Charlie's hair affectionately and Charlie went pink.
Charlie leant his head against Nick's shoulder and closed his eyes as Nick ate his lunch, letting them both have a moment of peace and quiet before he had to impart some more bad news.
When Nick screwed up his empty sandwich bag and threw his lunch box back into his bag, a frown appeared across his brow and Charlie knew their contentment was about to end.
"What exactly did you mean in that last text? About Matt?"
Charlie opened his eyes but kept his head firmly planted on Nick's shoulder.
"This morning," he began, keeping his voice as steady as he could. "The shooter looked right at me, but then he didn't even try to follow me when I got off the bus."
Charlie curled himself closer against Nick's side. Nick circled an arm around his waist and kissed his hair. "I still don't think he knows what you look like. Not enough to recognise you anyway."
"I think you might be right." Charlie took a deep breath. "I think he didn't go after me because he was after Matt."
Nick blinked down at him. "Why would he be? What has Matt got to do with anything?"
Charlie lifted his head to meet his eye, deadly serious. "Matt has the same school bag as me. Maybe that's what he remembers. What if he thinks Matt is me?"
"That's insane," said Nick. "How could anyone -? He doesn't even compare -!"
"Oh, hush, you," Charlie hit Nick's arm playfully. "Have you seen Matt at all today?"
Nick frowned. "I don't think so. Not that I care… He's probably skiving off somewhere with his girlfriend."
"I know I'm probably just overthinking, and I know he's a terrible person, but I don't want anything bad to happen to him because we didn't say anything."
Nick took Charlie's trembling hands in his own and gave them a reassuring squeeze. "Hey, it's okay. I understand. You're not overthinking."
"We should have said something right after it happened…"
Charlie felt Nick's hands tense in his own. Something flickered across his brown eyes which made Charlie's heart lurch. "Oh, no, Nick. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. Not really… I know what that would mean for you. To be forced to come out like that… because such a horrible thing happened…"
But Nick was shaking his head adamantly, and then he was rummaging through his bag. "There's something else."
He handed Charlie a crumpled piece of paper. Charlie stared down at the three simple, clear sentences. His vision blurred. His hands shook even harder, so that the paper fluttered to the ground between them.
"What - what is this? Nick?"
Nick grabbed the paper and shoved it away again hastily.
"It was on the doormat when I came home last night. I should have told you about it sooner but… I was so scared. We can't tell anyone, Charlie."
Charlie managed a nod but his bottom lip quivered. He squeezed his eyes shut against the onslaught of paralysing terror which had struck him hard. Nothing stopped the tears from pouring down his face, though, or the ragged sob which ripped itself from his chest.
He tipped forward and Nick caught him.
"What do we do?"
"I don't know."
Charlie slowly raised his head from Nick's chest and looked up at him through red-rimmed eyes.
"Please may I kiss you?" Charlie whispered unevenly. "I know we shouldn't… not here… but I really just need to feel you right now."
Nick smiled softly. Somehow Charlie had managed to put into words exactly how he, Nick, was feeling. Like he had read his mind.
"We have found ourselves a pretty perfect spot, haven't we?"
Charlie gave a weak, watery laugh. "We should use it for something other than bad news and mental breakdowns."
And then Nick captured Charlie's lips with his own, and Charlie kissed him back with such fervour that their teeth clashed. Neither of them cared much, only wanting to block out the rest of the world and fill it instead with each other.
It was hard to think of anything else when Charlie, his Charlie, was practically straddling his lap, tugging at the hair at the nape of his neck as he devoured every last one of Nick's worries and fears with his desperate kisses.
With every tender caress, every touch of smooth skin, every soft moan between kisses, Charlie thought that maybe this was all they could do. Be together and love each other.
Charlie was too far gone to cringe at his own soppy thoughts.
But they were a team after all, he and Nick, and as far as they knew, the man who had turned their world into such a nightmare, was alone.
Thanks for reading! Leave a nice comment if you like x