"That's a funny name," Nils commented.
"I believe it was referring to her skin, which was a pale as the fallen snow," Canas explained.
Nils blinked. "It doesn't sound like she's very healthy..."
"No, but I guess back in the days when people wrote these stories, they had different ideas about beauty."
"If they wrote these stories to be the way that I'm imagining them," Nils said, "then they must have been some silly story-tellers!"
Canas decided that he did not want to know. "Alright, let's get started."
During their travels away from Caelin in search for the kingdom's missing women, Sain and Kent had visited several towns. Along the way, they had earned nicknames for themselves. Sain White had been considered by many woman as the fairest man in the land; far fairer than his companion, Rose Kent.
Kent grumbled. "Honestly... Such a blatant misinterpretation. Who cares about snow? Red is a much handsomer colour! And roses are pretty!"
"What are you mumbling about?" Sain asked, riding next to his companion through the forest.
"Didn't you hear what the narrator just said about me?" Kent demanded, scandalized.
"What narrator?" Sain inquired, beginning to worry for his companion's sanity. "What are you talking about? Are you hearing voices?"
"No!" Kent exclaimed. "It's not out loud, you have to read it!" He pointed up at the first paragraph.
Sain searched futilely where Kent was pointing. "I don't see anything. Kent, you're pointing at a cloud. I think you need to lie down for a moment."
"I tell you, I'm not insane!" Kent shouted, his face turning a close shade to that of his hair.
"Well, I'm not insane, either," Sain admitted proudly. "In fact, I'm Sain. Get it?"
"Hilarious..." Kent muttered.
As they emerged from the forest path and out into a clearing, they spotted a castle a short distance away.
"Perhaps the women of Caelin have all taken shelter here," Kent suggested.
"And even if they haven't," Sain added dismissively, "there's bound to be princesses and chamber maids in a castle! Tally-hoe!"
Sain galloped away, and Kent, with a sigh, followed.
When they reached the castle, they were surprised to find the drawbridge lowered and no guards attending the entrance.
"What do you suppose this all means?" Sain wondered. "Is it abandoned?"
"Only one way to find out..." Kent said.
They tied up their horses on a tree outside and entered the darkened vestibule of the castle. The interior appeared to be in good enough repair, but it was still completely desolate.
"Hello?" Sain called. "If anyone lives here, say something!"
"I live here," cooed a woman's voice. She strode into the room, scantily clad in a black dress and black gloves. Her long hair was the same jet black, and her eyes were a shiny gold.
Kent eyed the woman suspiciously. He turned his head to look at Sain, but only found a Sain-shaped cloud where his companion once stood. Sain was now standing next to the woman, gazing into her eyes and pitching woo.
"Such a lovely creature! Your hair gleams like obsidian, and your eyes, golden, like— uh, gold!"
The woman snorted a laugh and placed her hand on Sain's forehead. She shoved him backwards, and Kent helped to steady him.
"My name is Queen Sonia," she purred. "If you would be interested, I may have a task for you."
"Name it, and it shall be done!" Sain swooned.
"Sain!" Kent whispered, but his attempts at getting his companion's attention failed.
"How would you like to be my servants here in this castle?" Sonia proposed. "I'm always looking for new pawns to keep me entertained."
"Serving you would be like a dream come true!" Sain exclaimed.
Kent could hardly believe what he was hearing. Some strange woman in an empty castle, claiming to be a queen, had quite suddenly offered the job of servants to them both, while they were quite well-off as knights-errant, and Sain knew that! Perhaps she was putting some sort of enchantment on Sain... But then again, this was Sain he was thinking of... But she had referred to them as pawns. Was Sain even listening?
Kent thought it a very logical question. He leaned over to Sain and whispered, "What are you thinking? Did you hear what she just said? Did you hear what she said her name was?"
"No, I missed that," Sain whispered back. "I was staring at her boobs."
Kent rolled his eyes. "Queen Sonia! Sonia was the name of the sorceress that put that wretched curse on Oswin!"
Sain scoffed. "Oh, come now! She's no sorceress! It must have been a different Queen Sonia."
"Just how many Queen Sonias do you think there are?!"
Sonia snapped her fingers. "We'll get you started right away on your new jobs."
Several very distracted and tired-looking men in dirty robes came bustling out from the room behind Sonia and started shoving Sain and Kent further into the castle, handing them brooms and dustpans.
"Kent and I would be honoured to be in your service!" Sain called out.
"No! Sain, stop it! I never agreed to this! Hey—! Get your hands off me! Sain! SAIN! YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!!!"
Kent threw his sponge to the floor in a disgruntled rage and crossed his arms over his chest. A fortnight they had been cleaning floors in this stupid castle, and for what?! So Sain could get his jollies by staring at Sonia while he wasn't emptying out chamber pots?
Kent had tried to leave the castle several times. Sain always refused to go with him, but the least Kent could do was try to get some help to remove the charm from Sain — Kent was quite convinced by this time that Sain had fallen under some sort of enchantment. But every time Kent stepped across the threshold to the open drawbridge, he would find himself stepping right back into the castle, the forest scenery before his eyes disappearing and reappearing right behind him. The first time, he'd thought he'd gone mad, but he soon came to realize that the castle itself was under some sort of enchantment; no one could escape. He feared that if this continued, he and Sain would soon end up like the other zombies working alongside them.
Kent got to his feet and stormed through the castle to where he knew Sonia's chambers to be. He was about to thrust open the wooden door and begin to demand answers from her, when he heard voices from within. Instead of his original plan, he decided instead to be subtle and pressed his fuzzy wolf ear to the door and listened.
"Mirror, Mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?"
'Now she's talking to her reflection,' Kent thought wryly. 'She's completely mad AND narcissistic.'
He was shocked, however, when he heard a male voice respond.
"Well, Your Majesty, I know you ask this question everyday..."
"Yes, and the answer is always me! What's so different about today? What are you hiding? Spit it out, you rusty old piece of glass!"
"Let's not get personal, Your Majesty. It's just that...well...do you mean the fairest female, or male?"
"What's that got to do with anything? I was always the undisputed fairest-of-them-all! What happened?!"
"I don't know quite how to tell you this... But I fear that Sain the werewolf is the fairest of them all. Please, don't hit me!"
"WHAT?! What are you saying?! What man— what WEREWOLF— would be fairer than me?! You're defective! I want a new mirror!"
"Please, Your Majesty, I can explain! You see, the world consists of 51 females, and I go by percentages to determine who the fairest is. So naturally, he has an advantage over you, seeing as you only have the support of 49 of the population."
"Urgh! This is unacceptable!"
"Please, Your Majesty, restrain yourself!"
Kent heard a great clamoring come from within the chamber, and thought it would be best to take his leave. He dropped down on all fours and sprinted away as quickly as he could.
He rushed off to find Sain, and soon discovered him standing on a balcony, singing happily to a bird that sat on his finger.
"Sain," Kent muttered, "What are you doing?"
"Singing to my little friend, Chirpie!" Sain exclaimed happily. "See?! Isn't she adorable?!"
He held out his finger so Kent could see the little sparrow. Chirpie's eyes shifted back and forth nervously.
"Sain, I don't think you're well," Kent said, giving Chirpie a comforting pat on the head. "Tell me: do you feel enchanted?"
"Of course; enchanted to be in the presence of such a lovely queen!" Sain sighed happily. Chirpie took his moment of distraction as her cue to fly away.
"Well, I have something to tell you that may shatter your illusions," Kent said grimly. "This is indeed the sorceress that put the curse on Oswin. I heard her talking to an enchanted mirror just now. You'd best be careful, I get the feeling that she may now be holding a grudge against you..."
"Nonsense!" Sain dismissed. "Sometimes we all talk to inanimate objects."
"Yes, but this inanimate object was talking back!"
Sain wagged his finger chidingly. "I'll not have you talking about our liege that way. She was gracious enough to give us jobs in her castle!"
"We had jobs!" Kent shouted. "Get a hold of yourself, man!"
"I'll hear no more of it," Sain said adamantly.
"But, Sain—!"
"Not listening."
"Sain!"
Sain stuffed his fingers in his ears. "Lalalalala!"
"Sain! ..." Kent sighed, unable to elicit any kind of response from his companion other than "Lalalalala!" He would have to try something different...
Later on that day, Kent closely observed Sonia's chamber from an adjacent hallway. She emerged from it and began barking orders at one of her zombie-slaves, who solemnly nodded and entered the chamber, armed with a broom. Sonia departed down the other end of the hallway.
Kent emerged from his hiding place and entered the chamber, now unlocked for the servant to move in and out freely. He tapped the servant on the shoulder, who turned around to face him, only to have a fist in his face moments later.
With the servant lying unconscious on the floor, Kent immediately began inspecting the chamber. He spotted a large oval-shaped mirror hanging from the wall, surrounded by an ornate gold frame.
He approached the mirror. Strangely, it reflected everything in the room except his face.
"Mirror, Mirror, on the wall," he tried, remembering the words Sonia had used earlier. "Um, what are you?"
The images in the mirror swirled and the face of an old bearded man with bright blue eyes appeared.
"What do you mean, what am I?" he demanded. "You've had me in your possession for the last—! Oh, you're not Sonia... What's this? Why are you here?"
"Me and my companion were somehow dragged into becoming servants in this castle," Kent explained.
"I see..." the bearded man in the mirror said thoughtfully. "You've fallen into a dangerous trap. The men Sonia lures into becoming her castle servants rarely ever leave. If any do, they're never heard from again."
"I thought as much... But I suspect Sain— that's my companion— is somehow under her control. Do you know anything of that?"
"Some of the more weak-willed men that fall into her grasp, she controls through a powerful enchantment."
"I wouldn't call Sain weak-willed... But he does have a certain...penchant for women."
"That will do just as well."
"Ah. Well, do you know of some way to break the enchantment?"
"Powerful though the enchantment may be, breaking it is sinfully simple. Do you see that apple sitting at the table over by that window? It's really a crystal apple. She uses these crystals to contain the free will of her servants. I don't know what her fixation with apples is... Something to do with an old legend, perhaps, or perhaps it represents the heart. No matter. Shatter the crystal apple, and your friend will be released from Sonia's enchantment. But I warn you, if you choose to do so, you had better run. I'm obliged to tell the truth if one asks it of me, and I'll have no choice but to tell her who's responsible."
"Wonderful," Kent muttered. He stepped over the limp body of the servant and picked up the crystal apple from the small table. Sunlight reflected upon its many facets, spreading a mosaic of red polygons onto his hand. "Here goes..."
He drew back his hand, and thrust the crystal apple to the floor with all his might. It shattered into a thousand pieces, the tinkling sound of the crystal hitting the stones highly satisfying Kent.
"Thanks for your help," Kent told the mirror as he departed. He went to check on Sain, to see if the spell had been broken.
When he arrived in Sain's chamber, he found him slinging a bag over his shoulder.
"Where are you going, Sain?" Kent inquired.
"Sonia asked me to go pick some flowers for this evening's dinner," Sain replied cheerfully. He stopped and tilted his thoughtfully. "You know, I had the strangest sensation moments ago. It almost felt as if my free will had been trapped within a crystal apple, but then someone shattered it!"
"That's exactly what happened!" Kent exclaimed, surprised at how accurate Sain's guess had been. "Sonia had you under her control, but now that control has been lifted. Although, it still seems like you'll do whatever she says, anyway..."
"I can't say no to a beautiful woman."
Kent sighed. "Surely you've noticed that we're being held prisoner here."
"Yes, actually that has crossed my mind. Don't worry. I have a plan."
"You do?" Kent enthused.
"Of course! While I'm allowed to escape to go pick flowers, I'll try to find some help. I'll storm the castle and help you get out, too!"
"Good luck," Kent said, nodding once.
Sain gave a cocky salute. "Maybe I'll even find Caelin's women while I'm at it!"
After Kent stood staring solemnly at the setting sun, he finally couldn't take it any more. He had to do something productive!
He snuck out of Sain's chamber and to the front of the castle, where he found Sonia speaking with a heavily-armoured blue-haired man with an axe.
"Hector?" Kent breathed. "What's he doing here?"
"There's a little upstart I need you to take care of," Sonia was saying. "An annoying little werewolf."
"Why is it exactly that you need me to...take care of him?" Hector asked suspiciously.
"What reason do you need?!" Sonia shrieked. "He tried to kill me in my sleep! There, happy?!"
"No, not really, but I get the point..."
"Are you or are you not Hector the Handsome Woodsman?"
"Why yes," Hector replied, running his fingers through his hair. "Yes I am."
"Well then go catch that wretched werewolf, cut him open, and put his heart in this box." Sonia handed Hector an ornately-decorated little box, complete with a little heart-shaped lock.
"That's rather gruesome," Hector commented. "But, if there's a murderous werewolf afoot in my forest, Hector the Handsome Woodsman will take care of it!" He pranced nobly out the door, as was his usual heroic exit.
"He wouldn't kill Sain, right? He knows him...!" Kent mumbled. "I've got a bad feeling about this..."
"Dandelions!" Sain exclaimed happily. He knelt down on the forest floor and began stuffing the little yellow flowers into the bag slung over his shoulder. "The most underrated flower of them all. So pretty, yet considered weeds..."
While he was picking his dandelions, he heard a rustling of bushes and a crunching of twigs behind him. He perked his ears to the noise, and his instincts told him he was in danger. The ominous music playing in the background also alerted him that trouble was not far away.
Sain whirled around just in time to see an axe about to come down on his head. He let out a cry and flinched.
The man with the axe caught sight of Sain's face and also let out a cry. The momentum of his swing was too great for him to stop, so he swerved off madly to the side, the axe embedding itself into a tree trunk.
"Hector?" Sain guessed. He climbed to his feet and dusted himself off.
"Sain, I didn't know it was you!" Hector explained. "You look different from the back..."
"Why were you, er, trying to kill me?" Sain asked delicately.
Hector shook his head. "That Queen Sonia wanted me to do a job for her. As the Handsome Woodsman of this forest, I'm duty-bound to protect it from danger, and according to her, a werewolf had attempted to assassinate her."
"And you believed her?"
Hector shrugged. "There's always the chance..." He looked woefully at the small wooden box Sonia had given him. "Now what am I going to put in here?"
"What were you going to put in there?"
"Your heart."
Sain's eyes widened. "M-my heart?! I see... Oh, I see it all now! The queen has become smitten with me, so in a fit of angsty jealousy, she decided that she could not bear to have me flirt with so many women, as is my way! And then sent you to have me killed and to bring back my heart to her in a box. I must say, though horrified, I am also touched."
Hector blinked. "Sure... Why not..."
Sain placed his hands on his hips indignantly. "Well if you've got any better ideas, I'd like to hear them!"
"Well, my recommendation is to run away and get some help," Hector suggested. "She's still going to want you dead. Say, where's Kent? I thought you guys were always together."
"Still in the castle," Sain replied. His brows furrowed in worry.
"Yeah, get help," Hector reiterated with a not-so-amused laugh. "He could be in danger."
"On my way!" Sain said. He began to run down the forest path when he thought of something and stopped. "You know, there's a village not far away. You could go to the butcher's shop and buy a cow's heart!"
"Great idea!" Hector exclaimed, snapping his fingers. "Hey, thanks!"
Hector and Sain went their separate ways. Sain's trek through the forest eventually led him to a small cottage in the woods. It was a cozy little place with a pretty little front garden.
"Like something out of a fairy tale," he mused. He paused a moment to consider that thought, but then dismissed it and went to knock on the door.
"Hello? Is anybody home? If you don't answer, I'm going to assume I can just stroll in! This is your last warning! Okay, I'm coming in!"
He turned the knob and opened the door. It was not locked, and he stepped inside the little cottage.
"No huffing and puffing for me!" Sain said proudly, remembering all too vividly his lightheadedness from doing just that back in Chapter 2. He took a look around the living room. Wooden furniture, nothing too fancy, a quilt rack with a lovely quilt, everything that completed a nice cottage in the woods.
"No one home, I guess..." he mumbled to himself. He yawned. It had gotten dark on his way to the cottage, and he had been working hard all day. "I wonder if the occupants would mind if I took a little nap? I'll just explain my plight to them when they return. I'm sure they'll understand."
He climbed the stairs and found that the second floor was dedicated entirely to a large bedroom. Four beds lined one wall, while on the opposite wall were three beds. On the head of each bed was a piece of paper, taped in place. Sain picked one of the beds at random, the one labelled "Feisty". He flopped down on the soft pillow and fell asleep almost immediately.
Later that night, the door to the cottage opened and seven women walked in, laughing and talking.
"Like, omigod! Matt Damon is such a hunk!"
"Did you see me spill my popcorn all over the floor? I was so embarrassed!"
"Serra, what happened when you accidentally spilled pop in that guy's lap? Did you trip?"
"...Accidentally?"
"Oh..."
"Okay, ladies," Isadora announced, "It's time to decide who's next to get voted off of Survivor: Cabin." She pulled out a pencil and a piece of paper. "Let's go upstairs."
The seven girls climbed the stairs up to the dorm room and leapt excitedly into their beds in preparation to vote. All except Serra, that is.
"EEK! THERE'S A MAN IN MY BED!"
"I always thought you would be happy if something like that happened," Farina mused.
"That's not funny! Make him go away!" Serra squealed. She began beating Sain about the head with her staff.
Priscilla ran over and pulled Serra away. "Serra, stop that at once! ...My staff is pointier!" With that, she began beating Sain over the head with her staff.
As sleepy as Sain was, he could not ignore the pounding headache being administered on him. He held his hands up in front of his face to block the staff and opened his eyes. He was quite startled to find seven beautiful maidens peering at him from around his bed!
"I've died and gone to heaven..." Sain sighed happily. "Too bad I didn't get a chance to save Kent... He would have liked it up here..."
"What's he talking about?" Fiora wondered.
"I dunno," Serra shrugged. "Maybe I should hit him some more."
"Wait!" Sain pleaded. "Don't you recognize me? It's your one-and-only Sain!"
"Oh, yeah, I remember you!" Serra recalled, snapping her fingers.
"What are you doing here?" Fiora asked.
"I could ask you the same question," Sain replied. "I thought Nils kidnapped you!"
"He did," Rebecca explained. "We were all hanging out in his swinging bachelor pad for a while, but then we decided to leave. Now we're playing Survivor: Cabin, and we're going to see who gets voted out next! Serra's already been eliminated, but we're letting her stay."
Serra sniffed. "You're all just jealous."
"To make it even more fun," Rebecca continued, "We each gave ourselves a nickname! I'm Cheery!"
"Feisty!" Serra piped up.
"Um... Bashful..." said Florina.
"Greedy!" said Farina.
"I'm... Ah...ah..ACHOO!" Fiora sneezed. She sniffled. "Sneezy... This forest really bugs my allergies..."
"I'm..." Priscilla began. Her eyes rolled back in her head and she fell backwards onto the floor, snoring.
"Um, that's Priscilla," Isadora explained. "She's a narcolept. We nicknamed her Sleepy. And I'm Isadora, nicknamed Doc."
"Fair lady, my name is Sain!" Sain announced. "But you can nickname me Honey." He winked obviously.
Isadora rolled her eyes. "Look, we're in the middle of our vote, so I'm afraid we're going to have to ask you to leave."
"But I can't!" Sain exclaimed. He took a deep, calming breath, and tried desperately to act responsibly around so many beautiful women. "You remember Kent, right? He's been kidnapped by an evil witch named Queen Sonia! We have to do something!"
"Oh no!" Farina cried. "Not Kent! Anyone but Kent! OH THE HUMANITY!"
Everyone turned to stare at Farina.
Farina's eyes shifted back and forth. "What? We all like Kent, right?"
"Sure," Florina said. "He's very kind..."
"He...ACHOO!...has a remarkable sense of honour," Fiora added.
"Red hair is just the cutest!" Rebecca gushed.
"Yay! Let's go rescue Kent!" Serra exclaimed.
The girls cheered (Priscilla had woken up by this time), and Sain blinked.
"But...But..."
"No buts!" Isadora cried, grabbing Sain by the wrist. "We must go save your companion!"
"But I—!" Sain protested as he was dragged out of the bed. He sighed and conceded. "Oh, very well..."
They scrambled down the stairs. Unfortunately, Priscilla happened to be walking in front of Sain, and happened to choose that moment to fall asleep. She collapsed peacefully on the steps while Sain tripped over her and went sprawling down the stairs, landing awkwardly and rolling a few times before finally coming to a stop.
"Are you okay?" Rebecca demanded.
Sain sat up and grabbed his foot. "My ankle! Owie... I...I can't go! I'm injured!"
"You stay here and rest up," Serra said, patting him on the head condescendingly. "We'll go attack Queen Sonia's castle and free Kent!"
The girls all left the cabin, laughing and talking again (Priscilla had woken up and joined them by this time.) Sain sat on the floor, looking around the suddenly quiet cabin for lack of anything better to do.
Then he thought of something.
Why hadn't Serra or Priscilla just healed his ankle?
He sighed. He had found help, but things were certainly not going as he'd thought an experience with seven beautiful women might...
Sonia waltzed into her chamber, humming a tune as she went.
"Time for my beauty sleep," she sighed. As an afterthought, she added, "Not that I need it. Perhaps it would help me sleep to look at that lovely crystal apple of mine; that lovely, unbreakable crystal apple that contains the free will of that foolish werewolf Sain and always will, because it will never break."
She swallowed her words when she saw the 'unbreakable' crystal apple lying shattered on the floor.
She stifled a shriek, and settled for periodic high-pitched squeaks as she stared disbelievingly at the shattered crystal apple. Finally, after she had regained her composure, she snatched one of the shards up off the ground and stomped over to the magic mirror.
"Mirror, Mirror, on the wall...WHO DID THIS?!?!?"
The image of the bearded man appeared in the mirror, looking rather shocked. "Hm? What? Oh, you mean your crystal apple?"
"Yes, you ninny!" Sonia cried. She held the shard up for the mirror to see. "Someone snuck in here and broke my crystal apple, thereby releasing the free will of Sain...! Wait a second... That means that I let him escape while he was not under my control!" She screamed in frustration. "This is unforgivable! Tell me who did this immediately, so I can go and throttle him!"
"Kent did it! It was him! I saw him!" the mirror blurted. "I tried to make him stop, but he wouldn't listen!"
"Sain's little werewolf accomplice...!" she hissed. "I should have known! They were in on this together, I'm sure of it. Probably plotting some way to escape the castle! Such ingrates. Werewolf refuse like them obviously do not appreciate my hotness." She struck a pose.
"Oh, and just a report," the mirror added, "Sain is still number one on the fairest-of-them-all charts."
Sonia's pose faltered. "...What? But that can only mean one thing... Hector the Handsome Woodsman failed in his task to kill him! I thought that heart looked a little large to be human... Oh well, it was still delicious. In the meantime, I'll go find Kent and make him pay! I'll make him lay eggs till the day he dies!"
She went storming through the castle in search of Kent, and finally found him tiptoeing through the corridors.
"You!" Sonia shouted. Kent jumped and looked over his shoulder. "Hold still so I can punish you!"
Kent screamed and ran in the opposite direction. Sonia chased him through the castle, flinging curses left and right, but none of them hit their mark. Kent finally darted through a wooden door.
Sonia smirked. She stopped just outside the door and slammed it shut. With a wave of her claw-like, painted nail, the door locked itself from the outside.
"Ha ha!" she crowed. "Fool! I've locked you in the cellar!"
She heard an exclamation from within, something that sounded suspiciously like "D'oh!"
"And now, with you out of the picture, I'm free to go deal with that miserable werewolf companion of yours, Sain! I will seek him out and kill him, by disguising myself and poisoning him with a poison apple! You may be wondering why I'm telling you my whole plan. Well, you're clearly not going to be able to escape, so I need not concern myself with keeping my plan secret. So long, sucker!"
She travelled through the castle, and descended down to her secret laboratory deep beneath the earth. A cauldron sat in the very centre of the dank, gloomy chamber, and shelves lined the walls, each filled with bottles of ingredients.
Sonia opened a large, leather-bound book sitting on a table, the title of which read "101 Spells Using Everyday Materials Found Around The House." She flipped through the pages and she noticed one particular spell.
"Ah, this will be perfect for fooling Sain," she chuckled wickedly. "'Blondus Bimbous'. I'll transform myself so he'll never know it's me handing him a poison apple! Which will be made better because he won't know it's poisoned! And they he'll eat it and die! I'm so clever!"
She set to work right away on her potion and poison apple.
"Wow!" Sain exclaimed. He was sitting on a couch with his injured ankle elevated, reading a magazine he had found. "I can tastefully renovate my bathroom for under 1000 pieces of gold!"
He heard a knock on the door, and put the magazine down. He hobbled over to the front door and opened it.
"Girl Guide Apples!" a pretty blonde girl bubbled. She held out a big, red apple out for Sain.
"Well, hello!" Sain gasped. He placed his hands over hers where she gripped the apple. "A Girl Guide, huh? Do you pledge to keep my heart warm with your loving embrace?"
"Tee hee!" the girl giggled. "I'm, like, a little girl! That would be, like, pedophilia!"
"Too true..." Sain sighed, defeated. "Perhaps in a few years, then."
"Would you like an apple, sir?" the girl inquired. "I'll give you this one for free! Tee hee!"
"Going for my heart through my stomach, eh?" Sain guessed, taking the apple from the girl. "I will cherish your gift always! My heart is yours..."
He took a bite from the apple, swallowed and grinned.
"Mm, this really is a good apple! Where did you get it fr—"
His eyes rolled back in his head and he collapsed to the floor before he could finish his sentence. His limp hand let the bitten apple fall out of his palm and roll across the floor.
"Like, nyahaha!" the girl laughed evilly. "You, like, fell for it! But now I can't get this stupid— like!— Blondus Bimbous spell to wear off! I keep yelling, like, like all the time! Like!" She took a deep breath and tried to compose herself. "I had, like, better run away, before, like, someone comes back and like, catches me! Like!"
Kent hunkered down and rolled his shoulders, glaring determinedly up at the door of the cellar.
"Okay," he muttered, resolved. "Time to break this door down! I imagine I'd have an easier time of it if I transformed, but...what if there happened to be a Peg Knight on the other side of the door just as I rammed into it? Not only would she be startled, but she might get hurt! It's not likely, but you never know..."
"Hey, guys!" Farina called to the others searching the castle. "I'm going to open this door to see if anyone's in here!"
"But Farina," Isadora argued, "What if there happens to be a werewolf on the other side of the door who's trying to knock it down from the other side just as you open it?"
"Hm... That's always a concern," Farina admitted. "But it's pretty unlikely."
She opened the door, and seconds later collided with Kent. The two were knocked to the ground.
"Found 'im!" Serra exclaimed, pointing enthusiastically at Kent.
"Kent, how long have you been in there?" Rebecca demanded.
"Not long," Kent replied. "But I fear the worst..."
Florina helped Farina to her feet. "Are you okay?"
"Sure," Farina answered, dusting herself off. "If I'm going to be tackled to the ground by someone, it may as well be Kent."
"Hm?" Kent squeaked.
"Er, what was this 'worst' that you fear?" Priscilla cut in before things got awkward.
"Sonia's gone off to kill Sain," Kent explained. "She told me her entire plan from just beyond the door."
"What'd she do that for?" Serra snorted.
Kent shrugged. "She didn't think I'd be freed. But none of us may be, now. This castle is surrounded by a barrier that prevents our escape."
"I have a way that may allow us to escape the castle without even crossing the barrier," Priscilla offered. She raised her staff. "This Warp spell will take us to the cabin immediately! ..."
Everyone waited in suspense for her to say the words that would initiate the Warp spell, but they never came. There was a long pause before Priscilla swayed forwards and collapsed onto her face.
"Narcolepsy," Isadora explained at Kent's puzzled expression. "She tried to use a Sleep staff once, and it backfired. She's never been the same since..."
Serra sighed. "I guess it's up to me." She lifted her staff into the air, said the magic words, and the eight vanished from the castle without a trace.
When they reappeared in front of the forest cottage, a blonde girl was running away from it yelling "Like! Like! Like!"
"You there!" Isadora shouted. "Stop!"
The others rushed into the cottage and found Sain lying on the floor and not breathing. Rebecca knelt down and took his wrist in her hands.
"He's...he's dead!" she exclaimed.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" Kent and Fiora wailed mournfully in unison. Fiora's wail, however, was interrupted by a periodic sneeze.
"Hey, I can see why Kent would be upset, but you, Fiora?" Serra wondered.
"What?" Fiora asked innocently. "I have a— ACHOO! — thing with people— ACHOO! — dying! Doesn't everybody?! ACHOO!"
"Our culprit's getting away!" Isadora yelled.
"After her!" Kent shouted.
The eight went rampaging into the forest after the blonde girl. The trail was easy to follow; all they had to do was listen for the cries of "Like! Like! Like!"
They finally chased her up a cliff, and she skittered to a halt when she reached the edge. Down below were lots of sharp, pointy rocks.
"I'm, like, trapped!" the girl exclaimed.
"Give it up, Sonia!" Kent called. "We know it's you! Surrender!"
"Like! You don't, like, scare me! I'll make you all lay eggs for the rest of your pathetic likes! I mean, lives!"
She conjured a spell in her hands and fired it at Kent. He did not have time escape the curse; sharp, pointy rocks were his destiny to the left and right... There was nowhere to run!
Kent thought he was doomed, when suddenly Priscilla (who had woken up just before the chase started) and Serra raised their Barrier staffs, raising a cylindrical veil of green light that completely surrounded Kent. The curse hit the barrier with a flash and a crack of magical lightning. It tried to break through, but it was no use. It was deflected right back at Sonia, who convulsed uncontrollably as the curse hit her and enveloped her body with the crackling energy.
When it subsided, Sonia's face contorted painfully and she grabbed her rear end. "Ooh! Ah! No! You'll pay for this!" She leapt off the cliff and floated away.
Kent scratched his head. "She can fly...?"
"Kent!" Rebecca called. "We have to attend to Sain!"
"Sain!" Kent exclaimed. He ran off with the others back to the cottage.
"I don't think there's anything we can do..." Isadora said, shaking her head sadly.
"Can't you heal him?" Kent demanded frantically. "Serra! You're a servant of St. Elimine! Make like a holywoman and...and...be holy!"
"Pfff. I'm not that holy." Suddenly, Serra's eyes lit up. "Hey, I've got an idea! Someone should kiss him, and see if that wakes him up!"
Everyone stared at the Cleric like she had a third arm.
She shrugged. "I read it in a book somewhere. I vote for...not me."
"Not I!" said Florina
"Not I!" said Rebecca.
"Not I!" said Isadora.
"I'm savin' all my love for Kent," said Farina. "That means you're the only one left, Fiora! Nyah nyah! You get to kiss Sain!"
"But you didn't give me a chance to decline!" Fiora protested. "No fair!"
"Go on, pucker up, Fiora!" Rebecca teased. The other six girls started pushing her towards Sain, who lied lifeless on the couch.
"But...why me?!" Fiora demanded.
"Hey, it should probably be someone fairly fond of him, right?" Serra asked. "That means it's either you, who very blatantly expressed interest in him, or Kent."
Kent's eyes widened. He immediately joined in with the shoving. "Go on, Fiora, plant one on him!"
"Okay! Stop— ACHOO! — shoving! I'll do it, if for no other reason then to bring him back to life. This is so stupid... I've never heard of anything so ridiculous."
She knelt down before Sain and lowered her face next to his. She lingered there for a moment, trying to work up the courage to go the last inch and get it over with. As she looked into his face, she began to think that maybe he wasn't so bad. He looked so peaceful, so sweet... But then again, he was dead...
"Ah-ah-ACHOO!"
"Ew..." Rebecca muttered. "I'm sure he really appreciated that, Fiora."
Fiora scowled at the remark, and finally closed her eyes and dipped her head so her lips touched down on Sain's. It was rather pleasant, considering he was rather cold.
She leaned back, and with everyone else watched in silence for Sain to make some sort of move.
His eyes suddenly shot open, eliciting a startled scream from everyone in the room.
"Sain!" Kent cried. "Y-you're okay!"
Sain sat up and immediately grasped Fiora's hands in his own. "I have received a miracle from the most heavenly of angels! Your kiss of life has brought me back from the brink! Let's make our next kiss a kiss of love, o sweet Fiora!"
"Wah!" Fiora screamed. She leapt up and fled, with Sain at her heels.
"You can run, but you can't hide from my love!" Sain called after her, arms outstretched.
The other six laughed as an all-out chase started around the cabin.
"I'll get you all for this!" Fiora cried.
"I'm glad Snow White was okay at the end," Nils said as Canas finished.
"True love conquers all, or so they say," Canas said. He took a moment to remember his wife back home, and quirked an eyebrow at the irony. He shook his head and returned his attention back to Nils. "Are you ready for the next story?"
"I'm all ears!" Nils replied. "Well, some ears... If I was all ears, I would be an ear. And that would be silly!"
"This next story is about someone with very long, blonde hair," Canas explained.
'Hm...' Nils thought. 'That reminds me of someone I met a long time ago, when I first joined up with Lady Lyndis...'