Title: Weasley's Wonderful Wakes
Rating: PG13
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, or any other characters.
A/N: Okay, this story just came to me. I hope you like it. I've been working on it for a while, and I found it quite humorous. It's just a funny tale of joke- product- testing gone wrong.
Warning: There's a mild slash in here, but trust me it's not what you think! It's more of a.... one-doesn't-know-what-their-doing-'cause-they-are-not-really-there-and-one-can't-help-it-cause-they-just-can't slash. Got it?
Now, the feature presentation...
Three faces hovered over a cauldron, bubbling madly. Smirks appeared on all of the faces as their heads descended up, away from the potion.
The black-skinned, dread-locked boy turned away and grabbed a small test tube filled with thick, purple goo. He grinned, as he turned back to the cauldron and poured it in. The brewing potion made a hissing sound as it engulfed the purple goo in the silver liquid. All of them smiled, as the silver claimed the purple.
A few minutes passed and the potion grew to become a blue color. All three boys seemed pleased - like mad-scientist-pleased. They kept their faces close enough so that they could feel the warmth of the fire beneath the cauldron. Every once in a while one of the boys would turn away, grab a test tube filled with odd colored liquid off a table, then add it to the brew.
When the potion was a teal color, the shorter redhead extinguished the fire with a wave of his wand. The other identical redhead exchanged an excited look with the boy with dread-locks. Having him do all the work, the shorter twin levitated the cauldron over to a puffy pillow, and allowed it to rest there.
"Ready?" The black-skinned boy asked the other two. The identical redheads nodded, a mischievous look flickering across each other's face. The one with deep, brown hair took a ladle and spooned out a cup or so of the potion. With a flick of the wand, the liquid became two solid pills. He scooped up the solids and placed them on the table, away from everything else.
The taller twin pulled out a piece of parchment from his pocket. He unfolded it quickly and handed it to his partner with dread locks as he muttered, "Essence of Katie Bell."
The small boy nodded as he took the list. He looked it over a few times before looking up and smirking at the other two. He turned back to the pills laying on the table. He waved his wand slowly, muttering something that was not audible.
He turned towards the shorter one, who was already holding his piece of parchment in his hand. He gladly handed it to the one with the wand out. The black- skinned boy took it reluctantly and skimmed it over once. He looked up, back to the one who had given him the paper. Both were wearing expressions of utter disgust, while the other redhead was suppressing a laugh.
The one with dread-locks turned back to the pills and quickly performed the same charm he did before. He took the two pills in his hand and gave one to each redhead.
"Here, take these when you start to feel drozy," He explained after the twins pocketed them. He handed back each of the pieces of parchment, smirking at the shorter owner of the two papers. "Sweet dreams, Fred." he said with a laugh.
Fred looked ready to kill. "It's not my problem I just had to get the shortest straw!" he exclaimed heatedly. He turned on his heel and exited the room. The other two heard the redhead stomp down the stairs.
The black-skinned boy shot a worried look at the other identical redhead in front of him. The twin half-smiled. "Don't worry, Lee, he'll get over it when he stops having nightmares." The boy still didn't seemed reassured, but he nodded slightly to let the other know he knew what the twin was trying to say.
The redhead stretched his arms above his head, and made a noise from the back of his throat.
"Tired?" the other boy squeaked excitedly. The redhead shook his head, hands still reaching for the ceiling. Finally his bony arms fell to his sides and he began to walked towards the door.
"No, hungry," he said turning back to his short accomplice. A look of disappointment etched itself across dread-lock boy's face, while making their way across the room, out the door, and down the staircase.
The three boys entered the room in a small group, huddled together, two holding glasses of water. They made their way across the room over to two beds and one cot. The twins sat at the end of each beds as the dread-lock, dark boy grabbed a clipboard and then flopped down on his cot.
"How are you supposed to know it's working while we're asleep, mate?" the shorter twin asked Lee.
He replied simply, "By your expression, obviously. George will be smiling, and you..." He paused. "...will probably look terrified," he finished quite seriously.
Fred winced at what his friend had said. "Are you sure I have to test it?" he asked, fidgeting with the pill in his pocket. "Why can't you test this one?"
"No can do," the boy said, scribbling on his clipboard. He directed his attention to the other twin, farthest away from him. "George, you may want to take that now."
With that said, the taller twin took the pill from his pocket, stuck out his tongue and placed it on the back of the main muscle of his mouth. He tucked it back in and raised the glass to his lips. Then he took a large gulp, and a look of pain appeared on his face. "Need to work on the flavor," George explained, and the boy with dread-locks scribbled frantically on his clipboard.
The twin that had taken the pill moments before, yawned lazily. Both the sleepy redhead and the deep brunette starred at Fred, who was on the other bed. Knowing what they were waiting for, he threw his head back and dropped the pill into his mouth. Bringing the glass up, he slurped up all the water.
"What time is it?" Lee looked up from his clipboard, scanning the room for a clock.
Both twins craned their necks back to get a glance of their clock that was hanging behind them. "Around ten," the two twins said together. The black-skinned boy wrote something down on the clipboard, then bringing his face up again, grinned.
"You two gits tired yet?" Lee said hopefully. Examining the twin's faces, he looked for signs of wanted sleep. Both looked regular, not tired at all. The grin slipped off his small face.
George nodded 'no', while the shorter twin shook his head violently. The boy with dread locks sighed, allowing his shoulders to fall down in a disappointed shrug.
"Fred, you're going to have'ta go to bed sometime." George told him, irritated. He wanted to see how scarred-for-life his brother ended up... Yes, he was that cruel...
"Not if I can help it!" the other twin said, throwing his hands up to his face, burying his expression from his brother and friend. "Why don't you just go to sleep?"
"And miss this?" chuckled George, receiving a grunt from his pouting brother.
"It won't be that bad," the one with the clipboard tried to assure him friend, but he decided it was a waste of time. Fred was now clamping his hands over his ears in a very 'yes-I-am-five-years-old' manner.
"'It won't be that bad,'" he mimicked in high, squeaky voice. "Have you forgotten? I helped create these, I know what's in 'em. I know what I'm going 'ta be dreaming!" He said forcefully.
The two other boys exchanged a look. Both shrugged and turned to face opposite directions.
"Now, remember, when you stop dreaming, wake up." The boy with the clipboard told the other two before taking his wand and making the room overcome with darkness with a quiet, "Nox."
It was only a few minutes after the light have left the room that you could hear someone snoring, rather loudly....
"Lumos!" the one with the clipboard said in a whisper. He held out his brightened wand, looking at each of the beds next to him.
"Get that bloody light out of my face!" one of the redheads called. It came from the voice closest to him. In other words: Fred.
"George's making record timing." A light smirk floated on to his feature. Lee knew George rather well and understood why George was so determined to fall asleep so quickly. He paused as he wrote done something on his clipboard. "Asleep with in six minutes."
For the next few hours, Fred miraculously fought off the oncoming sleep. He constantly reminded himself what horror that awaited him if he started to feel comfortable. But, no matter how much he was fighting it, he would reluctantly doze off for a few minutes, then awake abruptly. Every once in a while, he'd look over and see his content brother smiling in his sleep. Disgusted and jealous, he'd roll back over and face the other direction, ignoring his heavy eyelids.
Every twenty minutes, he could hear Lee's quill-point scratch against the parchment on the clipboard. Fred found it terribly annoying and tried to drown it out with his own rambling thoughts.
But, the more he tried to drown out the sound, the more sleepy he felt. (Listening to one's self talk unhaltingly does that to you...) Close to midnight, Fred quit fighting the nagging slumber and allowed himself to dream...
"Fred! Fred!" called a masculine voice.
Fred whipped his head around to see Oliver Wood calling his name. He tried not to wave, but some unknown force made him greet the other boy.
"Over here!" Oliver hollered, motioning Fred to come and join him.
Fred's feet carried him unwilling over to the ex-Quidditch Captain for the Griffnydor House team. Oliver slung his hand around Fred's waist and swept him down the field toward the Quidditch pitch.
"AHHHHH!" came a voice from the bed nearest to Lee Jordan. The dread-locked boy leaned over with his wand alit to see a sleeping Fred lying there, tangled in his golden sheets, drenched in a cold sweat.
"I see Fred finally gave in," Lee murmured, as he dunked his quill in black ink. He scribbled another mysterious message on his clipboard before extinguishing the light from his wand.
Fred let out another squeal in his sleep.
"Poor git... Nox."
Darkness...
Now Oliver and Fred were on a broom, soaring up into the sky. Their bodies were pressed together, making the redhead want to vomit, but he was prohibited to do so yet again unknown forces (a.k.a. the pill). Instead his cheeks were forced to blush a rosy shade and an unwanted smiled played across his lips.
Oliver Wood's head rested on the disgusted redhead's shoulder, his breath tickling Fred's ear. Of course, Fred was appalled by the situation, but everything was forced. He couldn't help it... It was that stupid, godforsaken pill...
The old Quidditch captain had his arms wrapped around the beater, keeping him warm. Fred didn't like this at all, but he couldn't refuse... Yet again, the vile pile...
"Okay, we're going to dive now," Oliver's voice rang in Fred's ear. He felt like hexing Wood into oblivation, but he couldn't. He couldn't reach for his wand, instead he could only blush and giggle. "Hold on tight."
Fred thought momentarily about wrapping his 'loving' fingers around the ex- captain's neck and "holding on tight." But he couldn't... George had rigged those straws - he just KNEW it.
Suddenly they pulled into the dive, Oliver sliding even closer to Fred. The redhead felt lightheaded as they went straight for the ground. He wanted so much to just fall off the broom and die, but it didn't happen. Oliver held him in a tight embrace.
As they came closer and closer to the perfectly mowed grass, Oliver started pulling up on his broom. Soon they were going back upward, ascending into the sapphire sky.
"Did you like that?" tickled a sheepish voice in the twin's ear. Fred nodded (against his will). "Good."
They made their way around the pitch a few times, before stopping by the posts. Oliver allowed Fred to jump off and land on the middle ring. Fred reluctantly sat down, patting the side of the metal next to him. Oliver grinned at him and not-so-easily stepped onto the goal post and sat down next to Fred, broom in hand.
The black-skinned boy wrote feverishly as he observed both redheads sleeping. Fred was still sweating, the terrified looked that was permanently stuck to his face. George, however, had a silly grin on his face, every once in a while it would leave and be replaced by a surprised look (eyebrows raised, mouth parted in a sweet gasp, and everything else).
"These seem to be working," he thought out loud, as he finished observing his friends. He checked the clock, seeing it was about one in the morning. "They better wake up soon... I'm getting bored..."
Fred tried to resist placing his hand on Oliver's hand, but his willpower just wasn't strong enough. Oliver looked down and saw Fred's hand on top of his own and smiled. He raised Fred's hand to his mouth. Then the ex-captain brought his eyes to Fred's. The redhead wanted to knock the former captain off the ring and watch him fall to his death, but instead he blushed... again. (Darn that stupid, foul, miserably, bloody pill!)
Keeping his eyes locked with Fred's, be bowed his head and brushed his lips against Fred's pale hand. Fred wanted to scream and pull away, but it just wasn't possible.
"AHHHHHH!" screamed a voice, coming from the same bed that had sent the same shrill noise before.
"Lumos," Lee whispered, holding his wand out so he could get a better look at the redhead's face. Everything seemed the same... Same terrified expression, same trickling sweat... The dark boy looked at the clock - it was about half past one now.
He dipped his quill into the ink and wrote an observation on his clipboard.
The one with dread-locks put down his clipboard and quill on the floor, and burnt out his wand before pocketing it.
Oliver Wood blushed as he set down Fred's hand. The redhead had a urge to wipe his hand off immediately.... Perhaps even cut it off, but he couldn't. Yet again the blasted pill wouldn't allow him to do anything that he wanted to. Instead, he was forced to act like some silly, little girl with a silly, little schoolgirl crush.
The keeper detracted himself, fiddling with his broom. He levitated it so it floated out in front of him. Once he was sure his broom was all right and would stay right there, he turned to the redhead.
"F-Fred?" The ex- Quidditch Captain said softly. He was gazing deep into the beater's eyes, and of course, Fred was reluctantly gazing into Oliver's eyes.
Fred felt his voice crawling up his throat. He was absolutely scared about what might come out of his mouth. He tried to push the voice back down, but it wasn't possible. His mouth parted, allowing a soft, almost seductive, "Oliver," escape.
"I- I have been wanting to tell you this for some time now." He paused, edging closer to poor Fred. The redhead was cursing in his mind, plotting a terrible death for his brother. He tried to scoot away from Oliver Wood, but the pill was stronger. "I really like you. I think I l-love you." Oliver said quietly.
Fred felt like gagging. If only Oliver knew what was really going on.... He eyed Oliver, taking in his words slowly. The redhead watched Oliver move closer and closer. Fred was ready and willing to jump off the 50 foot high post... But, that disgustingly powerful pill wouldn't permit it.
Oliver grabbed Fred's hand and interlocked their fingers. There was no escaping for the redhead now. The keeper moved his head toward the beater's. Fred was beginning to panic. He kept telling himself, 'This not suppose to happen. It's just not supposed to.'
"THIS IS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN! THIS IS JUST NOT SUPPOSED TO!" Fred shrieked into the night. This time, two wands lit up. Both Lee and George were awake now.
George turned to Lee with the word "confused" spread all over his features. "What's not supposed to happen?" Lee Jordan shrugged.
" 'Dunno. Won't know 'till he wakes up." Lee craned his neck to get a look at the clock. "Which should be any minute now."
"So, have a good dream?" Lee said, changing the subject off Fred, who was still screaming.
George grinned, "Best one I've had." He kept smiling. Lee Jordan allowed a laugh to escape him, while we watched George intently.
The conscious redhead's eyes glazed over, and a sheepish grin appeared on his face. The dread- locked boy laughed again. "Mind sharing?" He squeezed between a laugh.
"Sorry, mate, not suitable for virgin ears if you ask me." He said, smiling widely. He faced his dread-locked friend and added, "Yeah, not suitable at all."
"So, it was like that, was it?" Lee inquired. He wasn't exactly wanting to hear the dream anymore, but he was bored of observing the redhead who remained sleeping.
"Ahh, shove it!"
George extinguished his wand's light. He crawled into his covers and flopped his head of bright hair down onto his pillow. He heard his brother's death threats fill his ears.
"I'LL KILL HIM! I'M GOING TO KILL GEORGE! JUST YOU WAIT YOU LITTLE..." And all the sudden his shouts were cut off....
The beater tried to back away, but he couldn't. Instead, he too was leaning in. Oliver gave a slight squeeze, putting pressure on his fingers that were intertwined with the old keeper's.
The ex- Quidditch Captain paused about two inches away from Fred. His head was tilted to one side, a silly grin playing across his lips. His eyes were surveying Fred's face, his pupils darting back and forth to either one of the redhead's eyes.
"In fact," Oliver whispered. His breath blew against the beaters face, making Fred feel all squeamish inside. But, coming to the conclusion it was more of a disgusted feeling, he felt like stunning the keeper, then 'accidentally' nudging him off the post. His grin faded from his face as he finished quite seriously, "I know."
Fred's lips formed a very unwanted smile. His head felt like it would just float off his neck, but why was this happening? He couldn't possibly be.....enjoying this? No. Not at all. That was out of the question. It was the pill, it had to be. Fred had no feelings for Oliver, he didn't even really consider him a friend. It was most differently the pill.
The keeper quickly closed the gap between them, pushing his lips too Fred's. The beater felt like vomiting, like dying, like murdering. But no, he couldn't. The pill was the one in control. He had no power.
Instead of doing what he wanted, his eyes fluttered closed and his hand cupped the ex-Quidditch Captain's face. His other hand was wrapping itself around Oliver's neck.
Oliver seemed to pull Fred closer by constricting his hands around in some sort of hug.
And suddenly, things began to go blurry. Oliver's touch was gone, and to all Fred knew, he was gone. His mind had gone blank, and he felt like he was going up, like taking an elevator.
Fred's eyes opened abruptly, slowly adjusting to the darkness of the room. He was gasping for breathe, recollecting himself as he did so. He sat up, observing the contents of the room in the dark. He had a sick feeling in his stomach, like a hundred pixies where flying in there. He felt nauseous and his mouth felt very dry. He leaned to the side of the bed and vomited.
"Lee? George?" Fred whispered, expecting an answer. He waited a moment before repeating their names over and over again.
"What?" George groaned, half asleep. He rolled over to face his brother, grouping for his wand on the nightstand between the two beds. He finally found the wooden object and ignited it. "Ahh, bro, your up." He seemed to be fully awake now.
Fred wanted to knock that smirk off his face, but he used self restraint. He wasn't in the mood to get into another middle-of-the-night-fight with his brother. Every single time he would be hexing George his parents had come barging in, scolding them to no end. And his mother would fumble around, stumble across their newest experiment and throw it into the waste basket.
"Have a nice dream?" Lee asked, now that he was up, moving around on the ground on all fours trying to find where he had placed his clipboard. Accepting defeat, he took out his wand in the style of unsheathing a sword and said forcefully, "Accio Clipboard!"
Sure enough, the board came flying to Lee Jordan. But, since he couldn't see in the dark the clipboard came flying into his forehead. He was knocked to the ground, moaning miserably. George got out of bed and bent down, lowering his wand to exam their friend.
He was curled in a ball on the floor, both hands clutching his head.
"Stupid bloke." George commented. "You don't summon things in the dark!" He chuckled as Lee shot him a very intense glare. He helped the one on the floor up and then returned to his bed, with the same smirk Fred had the urge to get rid of.
"How was it?"
"How do you think it was, George?" He said heatedly. When neither George nor Lee made an attempt to say what they thought, not even laugh, he decided to elaborate a little. "It's was terrible. Bloody sickening, too." At this last comment, the dark boy looked at the edge of his cot and saw a puddle of sick.
"Literally," Lee Jordan added.
The taller twin (A/N: Yes, I know you can't tell who's taller at the moment because they are sitting, but bare with me people.) twin directed his attention away from the vomit and on his brother.
"At least we know they work," George said brightly.
"Yeah, now that we know they work," the dark boy piped in. "That means we'll be able to make a profit from them." His eyes got wide and greedy, the look the three boys usually got when they discussed gold.
"I got sick from it." Fred pointed out to the two galleon-sized-eyed accomplices. "We can't sell these."
The two boys starred at the one who had just spoke. The redhead let out a laugh, as the dread-locked boy shook his head shamefully.
"Fred, did you want to get sick during your dream?" Lee Jordan asked, still looking slightly downward. The redhead nodded his head, not sure where this was going. "Well, it appears that whatever you desire to do while taking the pill, you do.... just not in your dream. For instance, when you where considering murdering George, we could hear you." Fred chanced a sideways glance at George, who was twirling his wand with his fingers. "So, obviously you were subconsciously fighting vomiting, so after you stopped dreaming and you woke up, you just, couldn't help it.... I suppose."
"But that won't happen to the girls." George joined in, still fidgeting with his wand. He leaned back on his pillows in a rather leisurely pose. "They'll enjoy it." A smirk slapped itself back onto his face once more.
Fred looked back to his brother as he said this. He wasn't too sure if any of the girls would enjoy being kissed by Oliver Wood, but maybe some would. You never know... "So, they're marketable then?"
The dread- locked boy looked over his clipboard, flipping a few pieces of paper over. His eyes trailed from side to side, quickly reading it. "According to my observations, they should be bringing in the galleons. Seems they work pretty well."
George stopped fiddling with his wand and sat up straight. "So well we could sneak a pill into Malfoy's mashed potatoes about Crabbe and he'd have nightmares for weeks-"
"- and wet himself?"
"Yes, I think so." Lee Jordan replied, putting down his clipboard.
"Brilliant."