Author's Note: Hello all! I'm sorry this chapter took me so much longer to update than it usually does- I had some oral surgery done this past week and I've spent the past 5 days or so being alternately drugged or in pain (neither of which are ideal writing conditions)  Anyway I'm better now, if a tad puffy, so here's chapter five!

            Reviewers: I love you all! You are my heroes. I'm serious.  sings DID YOU EVER KNOW THAT YOU'RE MY HERRRROOOOO!!?!?!?!?! AND EVERYTHING I'D LIKE TO BEEEE…… (wow, maybe I still am a little woozy from the painkillers)

            To everyone that hasn't reviewed: I told you I was going to keep begging- PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE…

Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls.  I'm sixteen.  What are you, stupid?

Chapter 5

            "Oh. My. GOD."

Lorelai and Luke stood side by side outside of the small Stars Hollow movie theater, silently staring up at the sign with matching expressions of complete horror.  An indiscriminate townsperson wandering by followed their gazes up to the title of the movie and turned, heading away from the theater significantly quicker than he had approached it. 

            The title of the movie read A Plethora of Kirk: A Spectacle of Classically Choreographed Cinematic Scenes as Recreated by Stars Hollow's own Premier Actor/ Director.

            "Let's leave now," said Luke, turning and attempting to drag Lorelai away from the theater as quickly as possible. 

            "Wait," she commanded, and he ceased his escape effort.  "We walked all the way here, and we might as well stay.  It may actually be entertaining," she said while Luke skeptically raised an eyebrow.  "Ok, maybe it won't be entertaining, but hey, it beats sitting at home alone consulting the psychic taco on the internet."  Luke raised his second eyebrow and was about to comment when Lorelai hurriedly added, "Which is NOT what I do when I don't have a date…not that there's anything wrong about talking to the psychic taco."  Luke let out a snort of laughter and she huffed, "Hey, conversing with the psychic taco IS NOT weird… I'll tell you what's weird! People who wear plaid every day! Yea!" She looked at Luke triumphantly for a moment, and seeing he expected her to elaborate went on, "Because… um…. When you wear… I mean… Plaid means that you're… stop laughing at me!" she exclaimed, attempting to punch him.

            "You seem to be doing that a lot lately.  Do you always hit people when you like them?" Luke asked, a bemused expression on his face.

            "Who says I like you?" Lorelai indignantly responded, "After all, you DO wear all that plaid."

            "Hello fellow movie veterans."

            Lorelai and Luke both jumped- a third party had managed to sneak up behind them during their bickering and startled them by his sudden appearance.

            "Hey Kirk," Lorelai said, caught slightly off guard, "Er… didn't see you there."

            "Yes.  I'm actually surprisingly stealthy," Kirk replied, "I see you two have chosen to come to my big cinematic premiere.  I have to admit, I was rather worried no one would come- the theater's owner was strangely adamant about not letting people know my movie was playing here tonight… I wonder why…" he drifted off, staring out into the sky while rubbing his chin.  Lorelai snapped her fingers at him, and he was brought back to reality.  "Ah.  Anyway, I ended up doing a little advertisement on my own."  After this statement he turned around to reveal a piece of paper on his back, which read "A Plethora- Spectacle- Choreographed- Actor/Director"

            "Uh…Kirk? Only like five of the words in the title are actually on that paper," a slightly bewildered Luke pointed out.

            Kirk nodded and responded, "Oh yes. I know.  The title was too long for all of it to fit on the paper so I simply chose some key words and phrases that I wanted people to remember.  I suppose I could have just made the title shorter, but I'm rather attached to it.  Do you guys like it?"

            Luke cleared his throat and said, "Sure.  It's…" he looked towards Lorelai desperately. 

            "It's catchy," Lorelai interjected, and sighed with relief upon seeing Kirk nod in approval. 

            "Good. I thought so too.  Since you two obviously have finely refined taste in theater, I'll sit behind you during the movie so I can study your reactions," Kirk said, obviously satisfied in his choice of movie critics.  Luke threw Lorelai a look that obviously read 'I told you we should have left when we could,' and she shrugged apologetically.  Kirk rambled on, "I think you'll particularly like the Flashdance scene.  Part of it is Lulu, but she injured herself during filming, so the second half is me in a brown curly wig and a welder's suit…"

            One hour and twenty-three minutes later, Lorelai and Luke were sitting in the darkened theater, staring intently behind them at Kirk.  "Do you think he's really asleep, or just faking it to see if we're going to say anything bad about his movie?" Lorelai questioned while prodding Kirk with her finger.

            Luke studied the seemingly unconscious man behind him and answered, "Nah, I think he's actually sleeping.  And considering the fact that his own movie put him to sleep, he really should be open to criticism.  We could probably talk now."

            "Oh good," Lorelai sighed. "If I had to pay attention to any more of this," she said, gesturing to the screen where a larger than life Kirk was doing a rather poor imitation of John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever, "I may lose it.  Who will take care of Rory when I'm locked up in the nuthouse?"

            Luke laughed and said, "You say that like she hasn't been the one taking care of you for the past 19 years."  Lorelai glared at him, and then after thinking about what he'd said shrugged and nodded in agreement.  "Er… anyway," Luke said while shifting uncomfortably in his chair, "I'm sorry about how badly the date's turned out."

            "Oh it hasn't been…bad," Lorelai responded, obviously searching for something that had been decent about the date.  "The… um… theater's nice and… private," she added, gesturing around the nearly vacant area.

            "Obviously everyone else in town was warned about Kirk's 'cinematic premiere'," Luke retorted.

            "Come on Luke," she said, giving him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder, "The date's been great.  All it really takes to make a great date is good company."  He grunted an unintelligible protest, and she went on, "I'm serious.  There's no one I'd rather be at a mind-numbing, plotless movie with than you."

            This statement finally expelled all of the lingering doubt Luke had about her wanting to see him, and he was overcome with the urge to kiss her that he'd been fighting all night.  Deciding to finally act on his instincts, he turned slightly in his seat and moved his face towards hers.  Seeing what Luke was about to do, Lorelai tilted her head slightly, prepared to feel his lips on hers when "OUCH!"

            The darkness of the theater had apparently impaired their perception, and instead of kissing, the two ended up bumping heads with considerable force.  "Are you all right?" Luke asked, startled and worried by her loud exclamation.

            "I'm fine," Lorelai answered, and then giggled a little.  "You know, we kind of really suck at this, don't we?  I mean, how sad is it that it takes multiple tries for two grown adults to correctly---"

            Luke cut her off by suddenly attempting to kiss her a second time, and mercifully, he had managed to locate her mouth.  Lorelai was shocked for a moment, and then began to kiss him back.  She hadn't imagined what it was like at the Dragonfly- Luke was a very good kisser.  The kiss had been intended to be short and sweet, but as neither of the pair was willing to pull back, it began to grow more and more passionate.  Luke had just gently brought his hand up to Lorelai's face when yet again---

            "NO MR. PICKLES! DON'T BE A HERO!" Kirk screamed shrilly, suddenly waking up from his deep slumber and interrupting the first kiss Lorelai and Luke had shared all night.  They quickly broke apart, turned around, and stared in annoyance at Kirk, who had fallen back asleep as quickly as he had woken up.  Luke scowled at him until he heard Lorelai's laughter, which quickly put him back into a happier state of mind, and he added his laughter to hers.  They both turned back around, Luke put his arm around Lorelai's shoulder, and they sat compatibly together watching the 30-year-old man on the movie screen attempt to tap dance, Luke thinking that maybe this date wasn't so bad after all.

Author's Note: I hope you liked the chapter! I threw in a lot of humor and some L/L fluffiness, so I think that everyone should be happy…

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