I sit here in my cell in Azkaban, thinking of all that has happened. Thinking of the very beginning, to the very end. How it all started, and how it ended. It ends here, for it's just a matter of time before the Dementors perform the 'kiss' on me. As I shuffle through the memories packed in my mind and memories I blame it all on a dead man. A dead man killed directly by Lord Voldemort, the Dark Lord, and my master. James Potter, the deserter, and his good for nothing Lily were dead. My dream had finally come true. Not that Sirius Black even did it, any Death Eater would know that. None better then Peter Pettigrew, the little rat that really betrayed the Potters. I remembered Sirius from my school days. He was always looking at my ass, the disgusting pig.
Finally, he would know the pain I felt. Even if James couldn't, Sirius would. He'd feel himself fall off the edge of Sanity, and would have to make an effort to remember his own name. To remember he even existed. Although I somehow retained my sanity, I still felt insanity try and take hold over my mind. What was left of it, at least. The only reason I remembered, that I hung on, was my thirst for revenge. Revenge on everyone who ever made me feel unwanted, anyone who ever was not kind to me. Even if that meant decimating the entire world I would do it! Anything to give to them what they gave to me. Pain and nothing but Pain, since as long as my shattered mind could remember.
I heard the doors open and ran up to the front of my cell and gripped the rusted bars. Out of some strange impulse I ran my fingers through my dirty hair, as if you could tell the difference. I had found a sharp piece of glass once, and used it to regularly cut my hair. I made sure I kept it in shape, so that the Minister would be baffled by how together I seemed. It always made Fudge so mad. I stared as the shadows brought forth a man, with black hair that hung in his face. They brought him towards my cell. Why mine? I thought. Then it hit me, I would be dying soon for they were giving him my cell. His face turned ghastly white when they threw him in the cell, especially once he saw me.
"Charli?" he asked, his breath caught in his through and I laughed. He looked scared, and it took all of me not to let this excite me. If I did, the shadows would take it from me. The whole reason I was as I was now, was that I learned to only dwell on my angry thoughts.
"Of course it's me, you moron." I said, my voice cold. "I was brought in with Avery." His face shows that he remembers now, what happened. I smile and I remember the trial. I had gone off to do 'stuff' with Avery, as we called him, and somehow the stupid mudblood had survived what we did, and an Auror tracked us down. An Auror none other then James Potter, to this day I can recall his face and his surprise when he tracked some sort of magical evidence to my very house.
"What happened to you, Leliam?" He said, shaking his head disgust. My eyes narrowed, and I did what I was famous for in school., throwing punches and breaking noses. It felt wonderful, let me tell you. I didn't realize until it was too late until everything turned black and I was blasted into the past and
the worst memory of my life.
The Minister of Magic, Millicent Bagnold, was leading me into Azkaban. Every good memory I had of my childhood, and of James were disappearing as the Dementors crowded around me, eager to suck out every good thing I knew from me. I tried so hard to keep them from my memories, my James, but it was impossible. I saw black dots form at the edge of my vision. I blacked out. When I awoke, I was freezing and lying on the cold, hard, floor. I trembled, scared of what would happen to me.
This time, yet again, I woke up on a now familiar stone cement ground. I sat up, and reached for my shard of glass. Tonight, the pain would end for me. I took the shard and placed the sharpest end and placed it over the vein in my wrist. But before I tore my skin, I fleetingly put my mind and thoughts back to the past. To remember, one more time, why I was doing this.